At thirty-four, Peggy Orenstein faced a series of dilemmas: She was unsure whether she wanted children, unsure about the impact of motherhood on he...
read full description
reviews
Sep 18, 2011
Jen
rated it: 
I feel conflicted. On the one hand this book gave me a lot of think about and reflected issues I am currently wrestling with. I think the question of women's changing roles is an important one and the book really covered a good range of women and life choices. However, I also feel like much of Orenstein's biases and judgment came across at certain points. On top of that, some of her conclusions (or maybe observations is a better word?) seemed simplistic and possibly predetermined by her own feel
More...
Mar 30, 2010
Jen
rated it: 
Wow. Its really rare for me to wish that I had read a book earlier, but this is one of those. Ms Orenstein does an excellent job of capturing thoughts and expectations of women in 20s, 30s, and 40s, with and without (or wanting or not wanting) children, in the professional workplace (or reasons for leaving it) and organizing them into a set of coherent narratives interspersed with relevant statistical facts that clearly delineate the trade offs each decade is facing. I learned a lot from this
More...
2 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Mar 25, 2011
Kate
rated it:
This was a well-researched book that I found interestingly current despite the fact that it's ten years old. That said, though, both the theme of the book and the writing itself seemed kind of old-hat - ie that women have really similar problems that stretch through multiple generations. Nice that Orenstein gives examples of kind of 'alternative' lifestyles and further delves into how they might not be that alternative anyway. I think it could have stated the same information in a much shorter b
More...
Dec 22, 2009
Emily
rated it: 
Fantastic book about women in post-feminist America. The author did lots of really great interviews with women at all stages of their lives and gains a lot of insight into how the work-family balance is playing out for them. I found myself sympathizing with so many of the stories, goals, and challenges, and I feel I learned a lot just hearing about their experiences. Really fascinating to see what sort of trade-offs each woman decided to make along the course of their careers. I highly recom
More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Aug 05, 2011
Emily
rated it:
A coworker suggested I read this one. After lending her The Meaning of Wife, she was shocked to learn that I hadn't read this one. I wasn't too keen to read it, not that I was opposed, I just thought that I'd read it already-- what could possibly be new? However, I was pleasantly surprised. I appreciated the first person perspective that Orenstein supplied through the direct quotes from her interview subjects. The topics covered, love/sex/work/kids/life, resonated with me and I appreciated
More...
Jan 12, 2012
Mary
rated it:
This was the best nonfiction book I read in 2011. It’s over 10 years old, but sadly, the world hasn’t changed that much in 10 years to make it irrelevant. In fact, it seemed more relevant than ever, since some big news stories this year have been about “The End of Men” and women surpassing men in numbers graduating from college and graduate school. The books is also about things that I’m very concerned with in my life now: how women make the decisions in their lives about careers, marriage and c
More...
Jun 29, 2011
Jeannette
rated it: 
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers.
To view it, click here
Jun 06, 2010
Lauren
rated it:
Four days later and I'm still ruminating over some of the lessons that I learned from this book. I think that's telling about its quality. The author, Peggy Orenstein interviews many women in their twenties, thirties, and forties to discover how women handle careers, families, and that ever elusive "balance" between the two. Orenstein wanted to know what decisions these women had made (or were in the process of making) and why they had made them. While she does talk a little about s
More...
Mar 24, 2009
Kati
rated it:
I am so tired of these books... and yet I keep reading them. An incomplete analysis of the status of women today, focused largely on "powerful" women. It's not that it doesn't talk about relevant issues, because it does, making some good points along the way. It is just that the whole thing does not even question whether or not we--as women or men--should all be wanting to have "powerful" positions. It does not offer anything revolutionary about our options. If I were yo
More...
Apr 16, 2010
Kim
rated it:
When I first read this book in 2005, it was a complete lifesaver. I was in my early/mid 20s, living in NYC, struggling with trying to figure out the next step in my career, while balancing hopes and dreams of finding a partner and starting a family, all of which seemed so far out of my reach in that crazy city. In short, I was having my quarter-life crisis. I fell in love with this book because it discussed all of the things the people (really, the women) I knew weren't discussing -- how to ba
More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Nov 25, 2007
Stephanie
rated it:
Interesting book, but dealing mostly with the question "Can women 'do it all'?" (i.e. have a great career AND have children), I felt it didn't apply to me. And since when is choosing between family and work strictly a woman's problem? Many men wish they could spend more time with their families but buy into the 'man as breadwinner' stereotype that keeps them working long hours in thankless jobs just to make sure their families are kept fed, housed, and healthy.
The book loo More...
The book loo More...
Sep 05, 2007
L
rated it:
This book attempts to answer the question "Can I have it all?" by following professional women at different stages of their lives and careers (20s, 30s, 40s, 50s). Unfortunately, it is not a longitudinal study and there is only anectdotal information, but there are some interesting anectdotes. Few women seem to succesfully "have it all" (both career and family) and those that do seem to make substantial compromises along the way; however most seem relatively comfortable wit
More...
Dec 20, 2007
Liz
rated it:
I dunno. A lot of my friends really loved this book, which is why I decided to read it. But it just didn't do it for me. I thought it was overly simplistic. I didnt' like that there weren't any interviewees who were just plain happy with their lives--surely, there must be some women out there who don't feel that they have had to wade through life, constantly struggling and somewhat disappointed with their choices? I suppose that's not the issue--we all struggle with SOMEthing--but these wom
More...
Dec 06, 2007
Briana
rated it:
this is a great book for any woman who is introspective about what she wants from her life (frankly, I don't know one woman who doesn't). orstein interviews women from their 20's-40's about their experiences of making decisions in what she calls 'a half changed world'. at times, the book be annnoying in that the women in their 20's are a bit obnoxious in their contradictions and then the seemingly 'you can never really have it all' conundrum highlighted in the stories of women in their 30's...
More...
Sep 08, 2010
Stephanie
rated it:
This is my go-to book to recommend to any woman friend. It is a great look at how we as woman have been given all the choices in these post-women's lib years however do we really have it all? Have the choices only suggested failure as we are doomed whatever choice we make. It is really not as depressing as I am making it to sound... just an interesting anylasis on where we are at.
Mar 13, 2011
Rurichan
rated it:
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers.
To view it, click here
Mar 02, 2011
Suzanne
rated it:
Peggy Orenstein interviewed women in various stages of life, then described common struggles in each phase. Common themes of struggling to balance family and work emerge across the lifespan, but with different specific problems in each life phase. Orenstein also discusses how race and class intersect with gender to impact women's lives, choices, and well-being.
Mar 01, 2007
Mallory
rated it:
Through a series of interviews, Peggy Orenstein examines what it means to be a woman cutting your own way (ie - between the ages of 20 and 40) in a "half-changed" world. The feminists of the 70s paved the way for the modern woman to "have it all;" but can we? How do we balance relationships and family with our desire to have a career and our own interests outside the home? Why is it that so few women in position of power have children, or even a man in her life? Is it not
More...
Jan 20, 2009
A friend recommended this to me, based on several long conversations we'd been having about jobs, husbands, babies ... this book is really helping me process some of the unique pressures and privileges women have today. It's been a slow read, with some parts more relevant than others, but it's led to a lot of healthy personal insights.
Oct 19, 2010
Liz
rated it:
The second book out of three that I've stopped reading mid-stream. This one is just too depressing. Essentially, the author's interviews with women around the country show that women face difficult choices, challenging balancing acts and are susceptible to being undervalued as soon as we graduate from college, and it only gets worse as we get older. Also, through the first 100 pages or so, the issues examined are primarily related to questions of finding a life partner and whether to have childr
More...
Sep 11, 2011
Liz
rated it:
I found this book to be comforting, inspiring, and thought-provoking. So many of the sections and stories felt personally relevant. I read this along with one of my girlfriends, and probably stuck a post-it flag on about every other page, marking statements or passages that really resonated with me that I wanted to remember to discuss.
I think this is such an empowering and enlightening book for women, and I'd venture to say that husbands and fathers might gain some helpful insights More...
I think this is such an empowering and enlightening book for women, and I'd venture to say that husbands and fathers might gain some helpful insights More...
May 06, 2009
kathy
rated it:
This was a thought-provoking book that discussed many issues women are likely to face throughout their lives - as a married or single woman, mother, working professional, or as the main breadwinner in the home. I really enjoyed the combination of the real-life interviews with the research Ms. Orenstein included throughout the book.
May 19, 2010
Gretchen
rated it:
This book was published in 2000 and I think I'm making it a habit to re-read it every five years... I wonder how different my response will be this time at 33, compared to how I felt at 28 and 23. I bet it's pretty different...
Aug 25, 2009
It's taking me a long time to read this book on and off because I find the subject very emotional. This book causes me think a lot about my life and how I want to live my life with regards to family and relationships.
Sep 23, 2008
Becky
rated it:
This book really freaked me out. It really made me think about things that have been rattling around in my brain for quite awhile, but that I hadn't really faced yet. The book was thought-provoking, but I wouldn't categorize it as an accurate study of women in their 20s, 30s, or 40s. All of the women interviewed seemed to be white, affluent, and working in the corporate world. There was no representation of different ethnicities or sexualities. The book almost seemed more about the author's
More...
Apr 28, 2009
Coralie
rated it:
Non fiction. Each chapter is by a different woman with her unfiltered view of her life choices on work, babies, staying at home etc. The book doesn't have an agenda or present any one choice as the right one.
Jan 05, 2011
Lisa
rated it:
I thought that was a really well-thought out, provoking book. I was a little sad at the end when the author didn't have the "answer." It did give me a nice feeling of, "we are all in it together."
Feb 29, 2008
Molly
rated it:
definitely worthwhile reading, as it provides a “normalizing” context for my own confusion and frustration with what I am and am not able to affect in my life however, the book reads as if it is (and I think this is accurate) a project that the author put together for her own benefit, and so it seems a little biased – it covers a pretty narrow age range and by the end it feels like what happens when a nice but overbearing person has trapped you in a corner at a party – you don’t disagree necess
More...
Dec 17, 2009
Sarah
rated it:
Thought this book would help me find some direction... it didn't. Instead, it highlighted that women today have many many choices. And some of them will be right and some will be wrong for any given woman - there is no single right path, we each must find our own. Some will prioritize career over family and that will be the right thing for them; for others it will be wrong. Some will prioritize family over career - and again, that will work for some and make others miserable. While those are t
More...
Jan 23, 2012
Brigid
rated it:
An insightful look at the things women are thinking but don't want to say about marriage, kids, etc. Reassuring, yet kind of scary, too!
