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Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People
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Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People

4.32  ·  Rating Details ·  230 Ratings  ·  25 Reviews
Written to point the way to freedom for Christians who live under an unwritten religious code of expectations and rules that drain them of spiritual strength.
ebook, 0 pages
Published July 1st 2008 by Baker Publishing Group (first published January 1st 1989)
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Elizabeth Lane
Jul 12, 2012 Elizabeth Lane rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
More therapy homework. Really good for people, like me, who constantly feel the need to live up to other's expectations in order to be accepted. Learning to simply love and be the person God made you is A.) the point of your existence and B.) a lot easier/less exhausting. I'll admit it is a little weird to use the self-talk method at first: "I'm lovable because God made me," "this isn't my fault," etc. but it does work whenever you feel attacked or triggered to doubt yourself.
Lisa Cline
Dec 09, 2010 Lisa Cline rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: school, own, christian
This book was required reading for a class in theology and while I have already learned some of this things he wrote about I also learned many new things as well.
It really does teach you why you struggle with acting why you do and the solutions for it. I would recommend this book to anyone who struggles with shame and anger.
Englandjennifer
Aug 06, 2011 Englandjennifer rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A very practical book that puts so much into perspective. Full of so much information I thought this was a stellar book for those who don't feel like they are good enough and put too much weight on what others think of them.
Brian
Dec 19, 2012 Brian rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I bought this book because the title provided me with a near perfect description of how I felt after I left Seminary.
Rachel Wolverton
Mar 07, 2017 Rachel Wolverton rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book has been life changing for many I know and is filled with great scripture based truths promoting (among other things) your innate worth in being made in the image of God, bring deeply loved by your creator, and that you are to live fully and freely in the Spirit because of Christ's act of the cross- not based in ANYTHING you can do, no matter how great. Focuses on grace vs shame based living (so important!).
I'm giving it 4 stars for content and life changing material, but found myself
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Valerie
Jul 14, 2014 Valerie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Tired of Trying to Measure Up is written for people who live under a deeply ingrained code of expectations and rules that shame them and drain them of spiritual strength.

Although this book has been written with Christians in mind, it would be helpful for anyone. If you struggle with addictions, low self-esteem, can't seem to stop doing the same things that you hate to do over and over, struggle with perfectionism, or laziness. This book could save your life and your relationships.

Chock full of w
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Amanda
Apr 09, 2008 Amanda rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Amanda by: Carolyn Bivens
This is a really good book about how shame informs our lives and how to break out of the cycle of shame. There is good practical advice in the last couple of chapters and some examples that really hit home for me. While I was reading I was thinking of which people in my life could benefit from reading this. I'm not sure who to send it to first!
Sunshine
Nov 24, 2012 Sunshine rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I'm going to buy this book as soon as I can. For me, it's become a Christian classic along the lines of 'Beyond Ourselves' (Marshall) and 'He Loves Me' (Jacobson). Not only does it reveal a lot of the shame-based motives in Christian circles, but outlines practical methods for clarifying a new lifestyle and thought patterns free of guilt, shame, and people-pleasing.

Andrea D'avignon
Aug 30, 2015 Andrea D'avignon rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Well written and helpful book for those of us who always are trying to be accepted. I highly recommend and know a few people who might benefit from reading this. I found myself agreeing a lot throughout this book and look forward to applying the techniques.
Shannon
Excellent read. I am currently finishing a Theology course that required I read this book. It is a great insight into the Christian life oppressed by shame. I will likely read more of this authors books.
Rhonda Martin
May 02, 2012 Rhonda Martin rated it really liked it
I would love everyone to read this book for the message it is sending. Is it most well written or engaging thing I have read? Not exactly. However, the concepts are so important and the good parts so good you can surely over-look the imperfectness, and maybe even incompleteness, of this book.
Tammie
Apr 21, 2013 Tammie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Life changing!
Karen
May 30, 2008 Karen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent book, particularly for those who grew up in Christian fundamentalism or struggle with legalism, guilt for not "measuring up." Very healing.
Julie
Sep 01, 2013 Julie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian, helps
I took my time reading this one. It was full of mind bending, thought provoking statements. I will definitely have to re read this one again.
Mark-robyn
Feb 01, 2013 Mark-robyn rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Speaks to an issue commonly experienced among believers.
Amy
May 22, 2014 Amy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Haven't finished this book yet. Only starting Chapter 3 and I've learned So much already! It's insightful & challenging.
Lisa Vu
Jul 19, 2012 Lisa Vu rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Excellent read! This book addresses the works mentality that can enslave Christians and the true meaning of God's grace that leads us to work from The Rest and not just rest from The Work.
Kerry
Oct 16, 2014 Kerry rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Jeff Van Vonderen is a very good writer and I have especially enjoyed his other books also.
Tamera
Really good book. Very eye opening!
Jay Risner
May 27, 2009 Jay Risner rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Important.
KD
Apr 13, 2011 KD rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-study
Excellent book braking mindsets and moving on. Resting in who Christ is and what Christ achieved.
Jeremy Maddux
Apr 22, 2014 Jeremy Maddux rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Typical 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' pep talk with no respect for individual liberty as laid out by the architects of America.
Alex
Dec 25, 2010 Alex rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Perfect for an age consumed with self validation and building our resumes. The writing is simple and insightful.
Rachael
Rachael rated it really liked it
Apr 21, 2008
Tabitha Roberts
Tabitha Roberts rated it really liked it
Aug 13, 2015
Andrea
Andrea rated it it was amazing
Aug 29, 2015
Michele Kleeman
Michele Kleeman rated it really liked it
Feb 01, 2016
Ben Hardman
Ben Hardman rated it it was amazing
Jan 07, 2016
Lindsey Courson
Lindsey Courson rated it it was amazing
Jul 15, 2016
Margie
Margie rated it really liked it
Apr 22, 2008
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