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Signs of Life: A Memoir

by Natalie Taylor (Goodreads Author)

3.84 of 5 stars 3.84 · rating details · 1,163 ratings · 282 reviews

“I know. I know. No one says it but I know…” —from Signs of Life

Twenty-four-year-old Natalie Taylor was leading a charmed life. At the age of twenty four, she had a fulfilling job as a high school English teacher, a wonderful husband, a new house and a baby on the way. Then, while visiting her sister, she gets the news that Josh has died in a freak accident. Four months be...more “I know. I know. No one says it but I know…” —from Signs of Life

Twenty-four-year-old Natalie Taylor was leading a charmed life. At the age of twenty four, she had a fulfilling job as a high school English teacher, a wonderful husband, a new house and a baby on the way. Then, while visiting her sister, she gets the news that Josh has died in a freak accident. Four months before the birth of her son, Natalie is leveled by loss.

What follows is an incredibly powerful emotional journey, as Natalie calls upon resources she didn’t even know she had in order to re-imagine and re-build a life for her and her son. In vivid and immediate detail, Natalie documents her life from the day of Josh’s death through the birth their son, Kai, as she struggles in her role as a new mother where everyone is watching her for signs of impending collapse. With honesty, raw pain, and most surprising, a wicked sense of humor, Natalie recounts the agonies and unexpected joys of her new life. There is the frustration of holidays, navigating the relationship with her in-laws, the comfort she finds and unlikely friendship she forges in support groups and the utterly breathtaking, but often overwhelming new motherhood. When she returns to the classroom, she finds that little is more healing than the honesty and egocentricity of teenagers.

Drawing on lessons from beloved books like The Color Purple and The Catcher in the Rye and the talk shows she suddenly can’t get enough of, from the strength of her family and friends, and from a rich fantasy life—including a saucy fairy godmother who guides her grieving—Natalie embarks on the ultimate journey of self-discovery and realizes you can sometimes find the best in yourself during the worst life has to offer. And she delivers these lessons, in way that feels like she’s right beside you in her bathrobe and with a glass of wine--the cool, funny girlfriend you love to stay up all night with.

Unforgettable and utterly absorbing, Signs of Life features a powerful, wholly original debut voice that will have you crying and laughing to the very last page.

From the Hardcover edition.(less)

Paperback, 320 pages

Published March 13th 2012 by Broadway (first published January 1st 2011)

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Sep 14, 2011 Tammy rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads, memoir, goodreads-giveaway, debut-novel

I won this book from Goodreads. (It was a Fist Read giveaway.) I was really excited & couldn't wait to read it! I am a big fan of memoirs.

The book is written by Natalie Taylor. Natalie is a 24 year old H.S. English teacher who loses her husband Josh in a tragic accident. The young couple had only been married 18 months when Josh passed away. Even more heartbreaking is the fact that Natalie was 5 months pregnant with their first child, a son.

I really liked the book in the beginning. I had a...more

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Dec 10, 2011 dre rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, memoir, non-fiction

I was a student in her 11-1 Honors English Class at BHS in 2008-2009, & I can say I had no clue what was going on in Mrs Taylor's world. I originally read it to see if I recognized the students / to hear what exactly happened (I heard rumors, I wasn't even 100% certain that her husband had actually passed away).

...seriously. Wow. It's like sitting down and talking to her. It's so honest, each page cut me to the bone. I usually have something negative or critical to say about the things I've...more

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May 19, 2012 Jacqueline Carney rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This is a book I won here on Goodreads but many other things drew me to Natalie Taylor's debut novel, "Signs of Life." First of all Taylor grew up in a Detroit suburb next to where I have lived and raised my family. I know the places she talks about. But more than that, her voice is honest, spunky and heart-wrenching. Her story is real and speaks to some of our deepest human fears--losing a loved one and surviving alone. My only complaint, if you can call it that, is that her loss is so large he...more This is a book I won here on Goodreads but many other things drew me to Natalie Taylor's debut novel, "Signs of Life." First of all Taylor grew up in a Detroit suburb next to where I have lived and raised my family. I know the places she talks about. But more than that, her voice is honest, spunky and heart-wrenching. Her story is real and speaks to some of our deepest human fears--losing a loved one and surviving alone. My only complaint, if you can call it that, is that her loss is so large her sadness takes up a huge portion of the story.

It is a memoir about the sixteen months after her 27 year old husband dies in a skate boarding accident. She was 8 months pregnant at the time of the tragedy and her world comes to a devastating halt. I soon learned that everything Taylor does she does with her entire being. She loves her husband, her job as a high school English teacher, her family and her baby with so much passion that of course her loss is overwhelming. She goes into wonderful detail about special times in her life with Josh, her husband. She sections each chapter with passages from books she is teaching her students. Macbeth, Metamorphosis, No Exit and Catcher in The Rye are just a few of the challenging titles that her students delight in because Taylor's sincere love for literature is so contagious. That they are very lucky children to have Taylor as their teacher is constantly evident.

It takes a very long time but Taylor does get through those sixteen months, though. Her tenacity and her passion saves her as she pours what is left of it into a triathlon...something she is not prepared to do but trains for at the urging of her sister. I got the sense that this achievement--finishing the grueling race--is a beacon that will shine on the rest of Taylor's life. That she will survive and perhaps even love again.

Signs of Life is an easy read and one that is difficult to put away. I would recommend it not just to new mothers but to anyone who has lost a loved one and is having trouble recovering. I would also recommend it to anyone who wants to know how to love with passion. Just be forewarned...this kind of love is beautifully rewarding but can also be terribly devastating.

You can find my other reviews and general insights into writing and nature on my blog: http://wordsnwags.blogspot.com/(less)

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May 21, 2013 Becky Roper rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Awesome book! This is a memoir written about a young wife whose husband dies suddenly while she is pregnant with their first child. The first part of the book was pretty slow as she described in excruciating detail her grief experience. However, as things move along it keeps getting better. The last half of the book was great as long as you can get past her frequent use of the "f" word. She returns to teaching high school literature and her insights into the books she has her students reading we...more

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Jul 13, 2012 Jamie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-read-in-2011, first-reads

In the beginning of this book Natalie makes a note that this book is from her diaries and were her actual thoughts at the time and at times do not reflect well on her. This book has a lot of real emotion and at times is very raw. I would recommend this book to others. I felt like I was with her on this journey. She often says talks about the radio shows she listens to and the books that she is reading and relating to these people (or feeling that they are her friends)-this is how I felt througho...more

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Nov 23, 2012 Suad Shamma rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: own, 2011

I read this book with the promise that I would laugh, cry and cheer. I laughed, and I cheered, but I did not cry, and that is because it isn't a sad book. Sure, the book revolves and begins with Natalie's husband dying, but the essence of it is really about living.

I think what I liked most was that it did not feel like an autobiography or a nonfiction. It felt rather like a chick-lit, and I find that funny because in several sections in the book, Natalie complains about those chick-lits.

This is...more I read this book with the promise that I would laugh, cry and cheer. I laughed, and I cheered, but I did not cry, and that is because it isn't a sad book. Sure, the book revolves and begins with Natalie's husband dying, but the essence of it is really about living.

I think what I liked most was that it did not feel like an autobiography or a nonfiction. It felt rather like a chick-lit, and I find that funny because in several sections in the book, Natalie complains about those chick-lits.

This is a very well written book, a book about survival after loss, about seeing the light again and moving on with your life. A book about improvement and change. Basically a book about the signs of life.

I love Natalie's job, she made me want to become a teacher, she made me want to become a mother, she made me want to take part in a triathlon, and she made me want to write! And I think it's because of the way she writes and describes things, she's that good.

I also love her taste in books, music and TV shows - which is why I think we're soulmates. I think Natalie and I could potentially become great friends if we were to ever meet, I definitely see us clicking and chatting about the most random things and discovering all the different things we have in common.

That aside though, this is a really good book, and is worth reading. It is not as sad as the synopsis makes it sound, but you might get teary, especially when you remember that this is a true story. Although I do have to say that I didn't get as sad as I got angry with Josh - her husband.

Who in their right mind goes out caveboarding without putting on a helmet? If you don't fear for your own safety, at least consider the fact that you have a wife who is five months pregnant with your child!! Honestly, I tried to like him, and I tried to be understanding, but I was so angry on her behalf. So angry at how selfish he was at that moment, where he cared more about his own fun and pleasure than he did about preserving himself for his family.

But those are just my two cents. Natalie - you are truly the epitome of Superwoman. (less)

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Oct 21, 2012 Nancy rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

At times it was really hard to like Natalie, but since this was written from her journal while she was in midst of the events, it does read as an honest account of what she was feeling. At one point, she mentions that she didn't verbalize these feelings to others; it was purely an internal dialogue.
When she brought the books her classes were reading into the story, it actually made me want to re-read (or read) some of these books. While her language sometimes seemed over the top, I identified w...more

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Sep 23, 2012 Leighann Wolle added it · review of another edition

After the death of her husband, Josh, Natalie Taylor wrote all her thoughts in a journal. She wanted to not only keep her thoughts in line, but wanted to let others know what it is like to lose a husband, not to mention while being 6 monthspregnant. The ultimate goal of this book is to help people through their own personal grieving process. She shows through her story that it is possible to get through situations that seem impossible.

Perseverance is a reaccuring theme in the book. The challenge...more

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Jun 04, 2012 Angela Risner rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Natalie Taylor, 24 and 5 months pregnant, is awakened by a phone call that her husband has had an accident while Carveboarding. Though no one tells her at that moment, she knows that her life has changed forever.

Natalie takes us with her on her journey into life as a young widow and new mother. At her age, she had never questioned that her husband, Josh, would be by her side for many years to come. Now she must learn to navigate her life as a single mother.

All of this may sound like the book sho...more

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Jan 14, 2012 J rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Local book. Seemed to be getting decent reviews... disappointing. I suspect the good reviews were all friends and family who were guilted into supporting her out of sympathy.

I'm sorry her husband died, but this woman is not an author. She does not display any writing talent and does not succeed in making me care about her - despite her obvious tragic tale. In fact, I loathed her by the time this book was done. She behaved like a teenager in the worst sense with an annoying overuse of nicknames a...more

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Jan 13, 2012 Alicia rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Firstly, for those of you who claim that the book is too depressing, I have to wonder what you expected. This book reads a lot like the journal of a young woman who is navigating her ways through grief, rather than just a memoir. She is at times, whiny, ungrateful, entitled, but I think it is owed to her... I think it is a great testament to her strength that she openly admits that she is pissed off, frustrated with her relatives, and deserving of more.
The way the author ties in classic literat...more

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Sep 15, 2011 Michelle rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'd describe this as...well, edgy chick-lit I guess. It's definitely a woman's book, it deals with feelings, emotions, relationships and children. But it is edgy in that it's modern, there's language that normal people use and Natalie has a distinctive way of writing. Plus it's warts and all. Some reviews of this book in Good Reads have criticised her whining and ungratefullness towards her family and in-laws, but I enjoyed that - that's real, to have a love/hate, appreciation but resentment tow...more I'd describe this as...well, edgy chick-lit I guess. It's definitely a woman's book, it deals with feelings, emotions, relationships and children. But it is edgy in that it's modern, there's language that normal people use and Natalie has a distinctive way of writing. Plus it's warts and all. Some reviews of this book in Good Reads have criticised her whining and ungratefullness towards her family and in-laws, but I enjoyed that - that's real, to have a love/hate, appreciation but resentment towards family.

As a lover of books, I liked the way Natlie used novels to explore her feelings. She was 24 - well off, she'd married the guy of her dreams, she was in a secure job and she got pregnant effortlessly. She was teaching English, teaching novels and plays that deal with tragedy and suffering and crises but she had no personal experience of any of that. And suddenly, through her own suffering, she could see the deeper meanings within those works. Natalie learned the hard way, that life is unfair. Being a pregnant widow brought her into a parents group for single mothers, and these were people she would never have associated with previously, and certainly never respected. But she finds commonality with the other single mothers, and she becomes more aware of how luck and fate determine your life, and the choices available.

Some small quibbles - yes it did get repetitive, lots of writing about despair and tears. She had a small moment of self-awareness when she realised that Josh (her husband) had done everything - he drove, he made decisions, they did the things he wanted - but she never really explored that. They were together only a few years, they were still at the honeymoon phase. Did she realise that? She comes across very smug, too, but I think that's a cultural thing - as a New Zealander we favour modesty so her writing about finising her college programme in 4 years rather that the usual 6 sounded cringeworth to me, but might not be considered boasting in the US.

But overall, if you can say you enjoy reading about the death of someone's husband, well I did!(less)

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May 29, 2011 Ciara rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: autobio-memoir, read-in-2011

so, this is a year & a half in the life of a woman whose husband unexpectedly died in a freak skateboarding accident while she was four months pregnant with their first child. i mean, how can i mark something like that down on stars? that would be one of my all-time worst nightmares.

the book opens with natalie getting the news about her husband's death while she is vacationing in florida with her family. they all rush back to michigan, where they agree to suspend life support & donate jo...more so, this is a year & a half in the life of a woman whose husband unexpectedly died in a freak skateboarding accident while she was four months pregnant with their first child. i mean, how can i mark something like that down on stars? that would be one of my all-time worst nightmares.

the book opens with natalie getting the news about her husband's death while she is vacationing in florida with her family. they all rush back to michigan, where they agree to suspend life support & donate josh's organs. & then natalie has to get through the remainder of her pregnancy & adjust to life as a 24-year-old widow. she is very fortunate in that both family & josh's family & her extended network of friends all rally around her & try to provide her with whatever support she needs. she lives with her parents for several weeks after josh's death because she can't bear the thought of going back to the house they shared. she finally moves back in after her mother-in-law redecorates for her.

on the recommendation of her OB/gyn, natalie starts seeing a therapist, which seems to do her a world of good as she attempts to move through the grief & prepare for single motherhood. once her son is born, she joins a single moms' support group. the descriptions of the support group are one of the places where the book gets kind of dicey. the other women in the support group are pretty young (not that 24 years old is like methuselah in the mothering community or anything--i think that is HELLA young to be having babies), & most of them are single moms because they have split up with their baby daddies, generally after relationships that weren't that great to begin with. this book was drawn from a diary that natalie kept in the moment, & she writes pretty honestly about feeling like she didn't belong with these single moms. that she wasn't like them because she would be parenting with her husband if he hadn't died, & she's not a teen mom, & she has more class privilege than they do. a person who is remotely interested in social justice or people not being assholes could easily start to lose sympathy for natalie here, because she does seem really selfish & full of herself.

but as the book goes on, you start to realize that she makes a lot of snap decisions about who does & does not belong in her life, who is & is not similar to her, but she is open to revising those decisions. i have only experienced one significant death in my life--my dad died right after i turned 23. i can vouch for the fact that death makes a person, sometimes, a little bit selfish. it's difficult to consider other people's feelings when your own feelings seem to be taking up all the space in your body & then some. & i think especially when you are dealing with a totally shocking, unexpected death (my dad dropped dead of a heart attack one day while brushing his hair), it's also pretty normal to try to start drawing lines in the sand & trying to define everything & everyone around you, just to try to make some sense of the world & your place in it, to try to build something that you can hold on to. so i was more than willing to cut natalie a little slack.

she is also a high school english teacher & structures each chapter around a book that she especially likes or has taught to her students, drawing connections between its plots, themes, or characters, & whatever is happening in her own journey through grief & motherhood. some other reviewers have complained that these passages are condescending--"who doesn't know the plot of catcher in the rye?" but i felt like natalie really was expressing her own joy & connection to these books, even if they are classics that most americans plowed through in high school. maybe it's a little bit of a gimmick. but i could relate to it & i liked it, & some of her stories from her high school classrooms were really interesting. she actually made me wish that i could be a more patient person, which is not something i think i have ever thought about myself. (less)

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May 10, 2011 Liz rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I probably spent half the book fighting back or wiping my tears and the author has a conversational writing style, so it's more like you're talking to her than reading her book. I found this book especially readable as the author is young, speaks frankly and writes openly.

I do NOT recommend this book for someone looking for help coping with grief. The author handled her grief in a very specific way which I don't think most people would, and this is not a "self-help" book. Keep in mind, the auth...more

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Jun 03, 2012 Realitytrucks rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this as part of a kick I was on for grief/widow's Memoirs (Joyce Carol Oates, Sally Ryder Brady, Joan Didion, etc) The other women were older, and all were Writers. Taylor is an English teacher (the texts she's teaching become a laborious device -- she had a dream of a different life AND ... so did Gatsby).

This author was a 20-something pregnant Mom-to-be when her husband died in a freak carveboarding accident (like skateboarding? But more Xtreme?)

Except, how Freakish is an accident whe...more

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Jul 14, 2011 Lynne rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

True story of Natalie, a 24-year-old, 5 months pregnant girl whose 27-year-old husband Josh dies after hitting his head while carve boarding (kind of like skateboarding).

The book covers the time of the accident and up to 16 months afterwards. She discusses a little about the actual accident and how she found out, but mostly about the funeral and after, and dealing with being a widow after only a year of marriage as well as the prospect of single motherhood. At her young age she doesn't fit into...more True story of Natalie, a 24-year-old, 5 months pregnant girl whose 27-year-old husband Josh dies after hitting his head while carve boarding (kind of like skateboarding).

The book covers the time of the accident and up to 16 months afterwards. She discusses a little about the actual accident and how she found out, but mostly about the funeral and after, and dealing with being a widow after only a year of marriage as well as the prospect of single motherhood. At her young age she doesn't fit into the typical grief groups for widows, and because of her recent marital status, doesn't fit into typical single mother groups. She is also a high school English teacher and talks about going back to work after the funeral and incorporates life lessons for her students from several classics such as Catcher in the Rye, Of Mice and Men, and To Kill a Mockingbird. Her sister "Moo" encourages her several months after Josh's death to take on the challenge of a triathlon.

I don't know why I liked this book so much, but I did. Her writing is different. Mostly it's taken from her journal so it's real life, what she was thinking at the moment, rambling writing, but I could not put it down. Simply fascinating. Probably because I don't know many pregnant 24-year-olds whose husbands die, and I was enthralled with the emotional process of dealing with such a tragedy. She's also very witty and funny. Elizabeth Berg's quote on the cover, "Sit down with this book. See if you can stop after page one." is so true. Loved it.

There's only one part that made me cry, and I know those of you who can't read sad books will never read it after this (lol):

"Now that I'm a parent, I am beginning to understand that I have no idea what Deedee [Josh's mother] is going through in dealing with the loss of her child. Not a clue. I knew Josh for four years in college, then we dated for a year, and then we were married for a year and a half. Because I'm twenty-five years old, that seems like a lot of time. But Deedee grew him from a seed.

When Josh was in the hospital after his accident, I saw his body once, and then I had to leave. I never went back. Deedee stayed at the hospital for days. Long after he was pronounced dead, he had to stay so they could remove his working organs. She stayed by him until they wheeled him away for his final surgery. I couldn't be there because to me he was gone. That body wasn't him. But as a mom, I know why she had to stay. When you watch something grow from a seed, you have a very different relationship with it than the rest of the world does.

I know Deedee spent those days staring at his body, taking in the last images of the body she had watched for twenty-seven years. Dead or alive, that body was too special to leave in an empty hospital room. She had been by his side since the day she brought him into this world, not to mention the nine months prior to that. You better believe she would be there on the day he had to leave. Right up until the last second."(less)

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May 29, 2011 Jodi rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2011, want-to-buy

I rolled my eyes when I saw the quote by Elizabeth Berg on the cover about seeing if you could stop after one page. I thought yeah right, but that was exactly what happened. I absolutely loved the raw honesty in this book. very quickly I realize Natalies husband would be very close to my age so that sucked me in a bit. in some ways to I did connect to her feelings of grief. I'm not a widow but I went thru a divorce at 26 so there was still a sense of loss and also the feeling of no one else my a...more

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Feb 09, 2011 Eileen Granfors rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: biography, families, medical-issues, non-fiction, women

Have you lost a spouse to death? a child? a brother, a sister, a parent? We know in the course of our lives that we will face death and grief. We usually don't know when or how.

For Natalie Taylor, her husband's death in a skateboarding accident came 18 months into their marriage. She was five months pregnant.

How was she going to live on for their child? Would she be a zombie raising this beautiful boy? Would she hate the sight of him because he looks like his father?

All of these thoughts sound a...more

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May 12, 2012 Amanda rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs, non-fiction, review-books

It’s a good thing I’ve gotten over my “no books that make me cry” roadblock, or I would never have made it past page five of this book. Natalie Taylor is visiting her sister when she gets word that her husband of only 18 months has been critically injured. Josh Taylor is declared dead on Father’s Day in 2007 – four months before the birth of their child. The heartbreak starts right from page one.

Not only is the book written in a conversational, easy-to-read style, but there are bits of humor thr...more It’s a good thing I’ve gotten over my “no books that make me cry” roadblock, or I would never have made it past page five of this book. Natalie Taylor is visiting her sister when she gets word that her husband of only 18 months has been critically injured. Josh Taylor is declared dead on Father’s Day in 2007 – four months before the birth of their child. The heartbreak starts right from page one.

Not only is the book written in a conversational, easy-to-read style, but there are bits of humor thrown in. Of course it’s possible that not everything I found humorous was meant to be funny, but you can blame my weird sense of humor for that. Such as when Natalie (a high school English teacher) wrote, “When I was in college, we read this Emily Dickinson poem. I have no idea what it was called or what it was about, but then again I never really know what any Emily Dickinson poem is about.” As someone who rarely gets deep, hidden messages in poetry and literature, I found it amusing that an English teacher admitted that she didn’t “get” Emily Dickinson.

Natalie is just like most new moms: tired and overwhelmed. So she invents a Fairy Mom Godmother. “My fairy godmother would wear her hair in a banana clip with strands sticking out everywhere. She would dress in an oversized T-shirt covered in spit-up stains, faded black stretch pants, worn-out running shoes, and one ankle sock and one tube sock. She would be the fairy godmother for new moms.” Motherhood is a reminder that life goes on and experiencing one tragedy doesn’t mean that everything else in her life gets easier.

But there is more to this book than tragedy. It’s about finding reasons to smile and be grateful, family and friends, and motherhood. It’s also about growing up. When her husband died, Natalie was twenty-four, a college graduate, a teacher, and a mom-to-be. But, at twenty-four, she was still very young. In her journaling of the following year, we see her maturing and changing her attitude toward her in-laws, her students, and even complete strangers.(less)

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Apr 22, 2012 Hanna rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

First published on Booking in Heels.

This is Natalie Taylor's story. It starts the day her husband dies and ends sixteen months later on their son's first birthday.

Natalie's journey from wife to widow to mother is heartbreaking, blackly funny and will move you to laughter and tears as she makes it across that finish line. And you have no doubt she will make it because Natalie is a warrior and a woman to cheer for.

I can't help but cringe as I type out that summary. It's just awful. Although it's...more First published on Booking in Heels.

This is Natalie Taylor's story. It starts the day her husband dies and ends sixteen months later on their son's first birthday.

Natalie's journey from wife to widow to mother is heartbreaking, blackly funny and will move you to laughter and tears as she makes it across that finish line. And you have no doubt she will make it because Natalie is a warrior and a woman to cheer for.

I can't help but cringe as I type out that summary. It's just awful. Although it's fairly accurate about the plot, the tone of the book is absolutely nothing like that. To start, it's not funny. It's just not, in any way, shape or form. Secondly, the last sentence makes Signs of Life seem like some empowering, feminist self-help novel about coping with grief, and it's not that either. It's just a perfectly average woman writing about the sixteen months after her husband, Josh, dies. I wouldn't describe her as a warrior and yes, she is a woman to cheer for - but so is every widowed, pregnant newly-wed.

The theory goes that every word of this book (minus a few name changes) is completely identical to her diary entries of the time, but obviously I'm not sure how true that is. On one hand, some parts (particularly the ending) seem so unrealistically twee that I can't help but think they're completely fictional. They just tie in too neatly with the whole 'woman finding herself after tragedy' shtick, if you know what I mean.

On the other hand, there are parts that I most certainly would have edited out if I were Natalie Taylor and not dedicated to preserving the truth. I understand that her husband and father of her unborn child had just been killed, but the abuse she subjects her in-laws to in this book is horrendous. She just can't seem to understand that Josh's other family members are suffering too - she doesn't appreciate anything they do for her and constantly insults their very personalities. She's just so ungrateful and whiny. I'm not criticising her attitude per se - obviously I've never been widowed at 24 and so can't judge the feelings of those who have. I just wonder at her judgement in choosing to publish something that can only serve to alienate those trying to help her.

Mrs Taylor is also incredibly judgemental about anybody who isn't... well, Mrs Taylor. She joins a support group for single mothers and spends the entire time complaining how their situations can't possibly relate to hers because she's not a) 18 (in fact, she's an oh-so-worldly 24) and b) she didn't choose to raise her baby alone. This actually grated on me quite a lot - who says that the other women there were responsible for their own situations? Natalie does eventually come to terms with this, but for me the damage was already done.

Anyway. It's a very accessible read and I did get In The Book Zone while reading it. It uses a very chatty tone and it's easy to get sucked in. The English teacher aspects of the book are interesting, if not always relevant, as she talks a lot about the books they're studying in class, like The Great Gatsby and The Scarlet Letter. Thing is, unlike most books about books, she actually explains what they're actually about instead of assuming you already know. Must be the English teacher in her coming out. Her opinions of her students are also interesting, but it says a lot that the thing I liked most about Signs of Life are the parts unrelated to the actual topic.

The best way I can explain it is that I liked Signs of Life, but not Natalie Taylor. I finished it in a day and a half, but it's not something I'd ever want to read again. (less)

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Jun 15, 2012 Kim rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Nothing scream "great book" like one that makes you weep within the first few pages. I'm not much a memoir reader -- mostly they are written in an overdramatic fashion without much substance or wisdom to impart. And I'll admit that this is not a heavy read. But nevertheless, I really liked it. Maybe not loved, but 4 stars, maybe 4 and a half. First of all, the author has to be the best high school English teacher there is -- I just loved her method of weaving in discussions of books she assigned...more

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Jun 01, 2011 Jackie W. rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Jackie by: A random customer I am grateful to.

Shelves: customer-asked-for-by-name, summer

A. MAZ. ING. I love this book. I love Natalie Taylor. I wish I could meet her and thank her for being so brave to write a book about something so horrible. I want to thank her for sharing her tears with me. I don't want to tell her things will be okay, because they won't. But I want to tell her that I will remember her husband, Josh, forever. And that seems important, because people can be forever if someone remembers them.

I am floored every time I realize that Natalie and I are the same age. Sh...more

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Apr 11, 2011 Jamie Kline rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: shelf-awareness

For more of my reviews, please be sure to visit my book review blog, Bookerella

I received this book free through Shelf Awareness (big thanks go out to them, the publisher, and the author!!). In this memoir we meet Natalie who, at the young age of 24, has lost her husband of 1 1/2 years, Josh, to a tragic accident. Her life has been completely flipped upside down and she feels like she can't do anything without him. With a baby on the way, she knows she needs to get it together, but after Josh's...more For more of my reviews, please be sure to visit my book review blog, Bookerella

I received this book free through Shelf Awareness (big thanks go out to them, the publisher, and the author!!). In this memoir we meet Natalie who, at the young age of 24, has lost her husband of 1 1/2 years, Josh, to a tragic accident. Her life has been completely flipped upside down and she feels like she can't do anything without him. With a baby on the way, she knows she needs to get it together, but after Josh's death she just kind of goes through the motions of day to day life, a shell of her former self. When her son Kai is born, she keeps it together enough to take care of him, but the normal daily tasks she has to complete along with taking care of a newborn is just overwhelming for her. She's still grieving and she doesn't know how she'll ever be able to move forward with her life. With the help of her quirky family (and her own imagination), she begins to heal slowly but surely.

My review: I was really excited to get this book! I love reading memoirs and this one sounded interesting and heartbreaking at the same time. I couldn't really relate to Natalie, because I've never really had to deal with the death of anyone close to me (except for my grandpa, but I was very young at the time and barely remember). It's tough to imagine my husband (or my son) dying, I hate to even ponder what life would be like. I imagine it would be a lot like Natalie's life after Josh's death, just going through every day but not really living. Every holiday makes her break down because he's not there, every picture she sees of him reduces her to tears, pretty much breathing reminds her that he's no longer here with her. And I don't blame her for denial; you always think these bad things happen to other people. They will never happen to you; the bad news is they can and sometimes do.
Honestly, did have some trouble getting through this book. Natalie's commentary was funny at times and it was interesting to see her work toward finding herself again after Josh's death. Unfortunately at times it was repetitive and dull. I hate to even say that because I don't want to come off as insensitive, I definitely feel for Natalie and what she went through. Basically this book was derived from her journal she kept after losing Josh, so it's like a big jumble of everything she was thinking and feeling at the given time. While extremely interesting, it just didn't capture my attention very well.
I definitely did get some important insight though after reading this book. The best one is when Natalie is thinking back to the days leading up to Josh's death, trying to remember what they did in those days. You never know when a life will end, so make sure to live your days to the fullest and keep your loved ones close.

My rating: 3/5 stars
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Jun 11, 2012 Emily rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was extremely difficult to read, but it was one of the most amazing and important books that I've ever read. Death is a subject not many of us like to discuss because it is painful to admit that we have no control over our own, or our loved ones' passings. Death is final and is full of the unknown, which makes us fear it and seek to do everything in our power to avoid it. Isn't that why we look both ways before crossing the street, exercise regularly, eat our fruits and veggies, and basical...more This was extremely difficult to read, but it was one of the most amazing and important books that I've ever read. Death is a subject not many of us like to discuss because it is painful to admit that we have no control over our own, or our loved ones' passings. Death is final and is full of the unknown, which makes us fear it and seek to do everything in our power to avoid it. Isn't that why we look both ways before crossing the street, exercise regularly, eat our fruits and veggies, and basically avoid anything dangerous?

However, death is ultimately unavoidable, for all of us. And sometimes it comes when we least expect it and rips our loved ones from our arms before we even realize what has happened. This occured to Natalie Taylor, who at age 24 and 5 months pregnant, lost her husband to a tragic accident. This memoir takes us on her journey, from the night she learned of her husband's death, to a little over a year later, as she grieves and rebuilds her life with her newborn son and with the strength and help of friends and family.

This book was very difficult to read, there's no denying it. I am lucky enough (and feel even luckier after reading this) to have a wonderful and healthy husband, so having to think about what life would be like if he were taken from me was extremely difficult to think about. I cannot even imagine what living it was like for Natalie, and I admire her strength and perservence to keep going and to rebuild. I am not sure I would have that same strengh if I were in her position.

Natalie's strength comes from her friends and family, along with the texts she discusses in her high school English class, which she finds new meaning and insight from. She also gains a great deal of her strengh from her son, whose presence breathes new life into Natalie. This is certainly a story of hope and of appreciating life despite extremely difficult circumstances.

This book connected to me on a number of levels. First, it is set in Michigan, in the area where I grew up. I know the cemetary where Natalie's husband's ashes were laid. I know the church where Natalie has her grief group. She talks of how amazing up north Michigan is, and I spent most of my childhood summers up north. Natalie seems like someone I grew up with, though we never met.

Secondly, Natalie is a high school English teacher and I am a college English teacher. The texts that Natalie discusses in her classes are texts I read in high school as well, and the way she connects to Literature and speaks about how Literature can teach us is exactly why I got into the English teaching profession. Natalie got me to see and appreciate my old high school books like Of Mice and Men and A Separate Peace far more than I ever did before. She reminded me why I love this profession and how important it is for us to have a relationship with Literature. Sometimes, books are the only guides we have when life gets tough.

I recommend this memoir to all; especially if you've ever suffered a loss, especially if you're from Michigan, and especially if you have a passion for Literature. Death is certainly not a fun subject to read and think about, but it's important for us to think and speak about it because it's inevitable. I am thankful to have read this book, even though it led to a lot of tears, because while the center theme is about struggling to rebuild after a tragic death, it also teaches a great deal about the preciousness of life. And that is certainly something we should never ever forget.(less)

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Jun 11, 2012 CuteBadger rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Natalie Tayor writes a moving memoir about the death of her 27-year-old husband in a freak accident while she is pregnant with their first child, and how she copes with the birth of the baby and life without her husband. As she is a high school English teacher she also uses books to distract her from her grief and to teach her how to go on.

This is quite an honest book and is composed of journal entries that the author wrote after her husband's death so is very immediate, as well as being frank a...more

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Jun 06, 2012 Diane rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a memoir of Natalie Taylor's year of grief after the death of her 27 year old husband. Joshua Taylor was carveboarding without a helmet when he hit his head and died almost instantly. Twenty-four year old Natalie was pregnant with their first child. The book is based on her journal entries in the year or so after Josh's death. The exploration of grief and growth can be a fascinating and painful subject. (No one does it better than Joan Didion) Perhaps it was Taylor's age, perhaps it was...more This is a memoir of Natalie Taylor's year of grief after the death of her 27 year old husband. Joshua Taylor was carveboarding without a helmet when he hit his head and died almost instantly. Twenty-four year old Natalie was pregnant with their first child. The book is based on her journal entries in the year or so after Josh's death. The exploration of grief and growth can be a fascinating and painful subject. (No one does it better than Joan Didion) Perhaps it was Taylor's age, perhaps it was her inexperience but this was a pretty dull read. It was very repetitive and Taylor comes off as a self-centered, mean girl. She attacks her mother-in-law and sister-in-law with unrelenting venom and appears to have no understanding of THEIR grief. She is judgmental of those in her grief group without appreciating that they lack some of the financial and emotional support that she herself enjoys. (Taylor has an amazing support system of friends and family so I assume she must be a nicer person than she appears.) She also talks down to the reader and feels a need to explain the plots of major literary works (yet her overuse of family nicknames had me craving a cheat sheet... who is Hales again? who is Dubs?) What redeemed this book for me was the ending. As Natalie moves through her grief and becomes a new mother we can see her growth and enlightenment. The last few chapters show her humor and a new embracing of life. She is able to reflect and understand her painful journey. I liked her much better and felt her new maturity.

The book is also poorly edited. I cringed when I saw the line "ball my eyes out." Ball??? Natalie is a high school English teacher. I would think she'd have access to some great editing.

Best part: Her good friend, Battersby, is experienced at grief and meets with Natalie before the funeral.
".... she told me she was giving me an invisible stack of STFU cards which stands for, 'shut the fuck up.' So when people come up to me and say, 'How ARE you doing?' or 'This was god's plan' or 'why wasn't he wearing a helmet?' I could politely smile and hand them a STFU card." We could all use a stack of those cards. Natalie probably wants to hand one to me right about now.(less)

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Apr 13, 2011 Kristy rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2011

Signs Of Life's cover states: "Sit down with this book. See if you can stop at page 1." Well, the beginning was pretty good. But after a while it just gets repetitive. No, I didn't stop.. but I wanted to. I was really hoping it would get better. Actually, her best chapter was her last. It was the most uplifting part of the whole book. Natalie never gives any real insight into her husband.. except he was basically the best person ever! And although I do feel for her.. I felt like she was just so...more

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Jul 09, 2011 Justaskmom rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Justaskmom by: www.ellieinla.com/

Shelves: memoirs

Most of us have dealt with the death of a loved family member or good friend. The fact that this remarkable young woman chose to deal with the shock of losing her soulmate/husband/father of the baby she is carrying by keeping a journal isn't unexpected. But what was astounding to me is the manner in which she used her favorite books to help her sort out her feelings. There was such pain and grief and worry, but she also found inspiration and humor in family, her students, friends. Then she worke...more

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Apr 18, 2011 Maria rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: first-reads

I would recommend this book to all mothers. I think we must consider that the things we fear do sometimes happen. It was difficult to read about the author's grief, but it was almost a relief to see her find her strength and her self again. It made me think a bit about what I would do if my like as I know it was suddenly taken from me. Far from being morbid, it actually released some of the fear to realize that I, too, would find my way.

In reading this book, I sometimes found that the author was...more

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Oct 04, 2012 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: family, favorites, memoir, life-lessons, own, read-in-2012

At 24, Natalie Taylor is 5 months pregnant and newly widowed. Her husband of 18 months, Josh, tragically died at the age of 27 in what can only be described as a freak accident. This memoir recounts her experiences, thoughts and feelings in the months following Josh's death.

I think Natalie and I could be great friends; in fact, I feel like in some way, we are.

When I first started this book, I didn't know what to expect. I picked it up for less than five dollars going off of the back summary and...more

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About Natalie Taylor

Any time I meet someone new, at some point he or she discovers that I am a mom and I do not wear a wedding ring. No matter what else I have to offer to the world, this image of having a child and no wedding ring still startles people. "I'm a single mom," I say. Usually I get a really lighthearted, "Oh!" An "Oh" that is said with this really nice ring to it where as the speaker of the "Oh" is tryin...more Any time I meet someone new, at some point he or she discovers that I am a mom and I do not wear a wedding ring. No matter what else I have to offer to the world, this image of having a child and no wedding ring still startles people. "I'm a single mom," I say. Usually I get a really lighthearted, "Oh!" An "Oh" that is said with this really nice ring to it where as the speaker of the "Oh" is trying to impress upon me that they are not judging me. They are completely accepting of me and my baby-mama-ness. They are okay with these things. They are forward-thinking, open-minded people.

Eventually they ask something like, "Well does your son have a relationship with his father," or "Does his dad help you out at all?" And then I have to say, "Actually, I'm a widow." And then the person goes white or their eyes widen and they just stare at me and I end up feeling like a jerk because they don't know what to say. "No, no, it's fine," I stammer, "I mean it's not fine, but we're fine, I'm mean we're okay…" and in all of my stammering, this poor person is trying to say something nice. "Oh my…I am so…that is so…" but I feel bad for them because I somehow feel like I've roped them into this emotional experience and now we have to talk about it and I have to make them feel like they have nothing to feel sorry about. Sometimes this whole ordeal is so exhausting and predictable that I tell myself I should just wear my wedding ring to avoid these awkward situations. But I can't wear my wedding ring. I can't wear it because I'm not married. I am a widow.

You would think after three and a half years of dealing with the loss of my husband, there would be other wonderful things on which my identity could rest. I'm a teacher, I have a wonderful son, I'm a writer now too. But somehow, whenever I sit down to work out a problem or tell my life story, it always comes back to the same thing: I am a widow. So, let's just start there.

Three and a half years ago I lost my amazing husband, Josh, in an accident. He was Carveboarding down a cement embankment and he lost his balance and hit his head. He fell in such a way that killed him nearly instantly. Now, I'm sure, like the rest of the world, you're thinking, "Well, what on earth is he doing going down a cement embankment on a board on wheels that wobble with no helmet!" And sure, that is legitimate question, but clearly you don't know Josh. He was king of tricky stunts. He loved activities that involved risky, challenging situations where he had to use his own body and brain to figure them out. And the craziest part is, we never worried about him. He had such impeccable balance and such confidence in his own abilities, no one batted an eye when he built a ramp off the end of the dock at Elk Lake and went flying down it on a bicycle for an eight year old. No one gasped in worry when he back-flipped off a fifty-foot cliff over the Salmon River in Idaho. He was always all right, except for this one blink of a moment that ended up costing his life.

At the time of the accident, I was five months pregnant with our first child. A month prior to Josh's death, we found out we were having a boy. Josh kept insisting that we should name him something ridiculous like Cougar or Hawk. I nodded politely at all of his stupid ideas, knowing full well that if I was carrying this boy for nine months and I was going to be the one delivering him, I sure as hell would have the final say on the name. Oddly enough, I got my wish, just not in the way I had planned. Kai Joshua Taylor was born on October 18, 2007. In the months following Josh's death and after the birth of Kai, I kept a journal. I had these crazy things in my head and I had to get them out. I couldn't exactly call my mom every five minutes and tell her why I was crying for the seventeenth time that day and it was only nine a.m. (though she would have listened). And I did go see a psychologist, but I had a lot more than one-hours worth of stu(less)

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“But always too soon, right after a fleeting moment of hope, the floor opens up and I sink to the bottom again.” — 4 people liked it

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