Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator

Mar 01, 2012 Hellen rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: teen-ya, mystery-thriller

I was a bit disappointed when I read the book. It’s not very bad, but after I read what it was about, I had hoped to see the murder victim and the investigation sooner. The murder victim doesn’t appear until the second half of the book. The first half is very slow and although it is not too boring to see Guy’s everyday life, this could have been written a bit faster.

The second half of the book, on the other hand, is very interesting to read. We finally see the murder and the investigation has so...more

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Mar 24, 2012 Cara rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: teen-boy, teen-fiction, 2011, net-galley

Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator is part mystery, part coming of age, and part comedy. Guy himself is a very likeable character, who is going through a rough time. He’s just lost his dad, (he died, he has not been misplaced) and he’s learning to cope with that. His best friend Anoop gets him to join the Forensics club at school, and that’s when the fun begins. There are a couple of mysteries, some definite characters, an unrequited love, and sunken treasure. Overall, I enjoyed the story a...more

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Feb 12, 2013 Nic rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. So funny! Really, really funny! And smart, and with emotional depth. This is an awesome book. I love that Guy and his friend Anoop (with a P? Really? The whole audiobook I was totally hearing "Anoob") are quirky, realistic teenaged guys who like dumb/gross humor without becoming disgusting or babyish and who are a little hormone-crazed without becoming freaking predators, like all the guys in The Chocolate War seemed like to me. Totally identify-with-able characters. Plus, Guy's various reaction...more

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Dec 06, 2012 Peep (Pop! Pop!) rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-for-dudes, just-okay, read-in-2012

I thought this was OK. I did like Guy, even though he was kind of silly. I liked how we got to hear about his father and the coins. I didn't like the part about (view spoiler). That part seemed weird and out of place in the book. I would have liked the book more if it had a bigger focus on forensic science.

I had hopes that it would be funnier and cooler but it wasn't that way for me. I don't know how they thought they were funny all the time. Why did they have to yell al...more

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Nov 05, 2012 Christina rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobooks, humor, mystery, read-in-2012, realistic

Hilarious story of a slacker guy just trying to do as little as possible, and get over the loss of his dad at the same time. Guy joins his high school's CSI/Forensics Club but only because his best friend Anoop assures him it will help them impress the hot girls in the club. Guy's like, whatever dude. But he *is* interested in a cute girl in the club, so maybe...Guy's also hurting from the recent death of his dad, a man who was older than his mom and was married before. Guy discovers some things...more

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Sep 24, 2012 LJ rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book is just about perfect. It has a believable teenage protagonist. The supporting characters are also interesting and believable. The plot builds to an exciting conclusion. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry. The ending is satisfying and not rushed, unlike many a YA novel. The only "wince-like" moments are when the author constantly has his characters say, "whatever" all the time. This may very well be exactly true-to-life and just like teenagers talk, but when I'm reading it, I'd like...more This book is just about perfect. It has a believable teenage protagonist. The supporting characters are also interesting and believable. The plot builds to an exciting conclusion. It makes you laugh, it makes you cry. The ending is satisfying and not rushed, unlike many a YA novel. The only "wince-like" moments are when the author constantly has his characters say, "whatever" all the time. This may very well be exactly true-to-life and just like teenagers talk, but when I'm reading it, I'd like a little less of this phrase ending so many sentences of dialog. I think even teenagers reading this book wouldn't like it because it might strike them as trying too hard, or making fun of them. This is just a minor quibble with the book and not something that takes away from the story as a whole.

Guy Langman is the main character. He is a junior or a senior in high school. His dad just died and he's joined the forensics club through the urgings of his best friend, Anoop Chattopadhyay. Anoop would like to be called, "The Bengal Tiger" as his nickname, but it's hopeless. He's an overachieving nerd type that borders on the Indian friend stereotype, but the book manages to avoid this because of the comical exchanges and barbs that form the bonds of Guy's and Anoop's friendship. Guy had decided that what he will do in order to fill the gaping hole of his father's absence is to write a book filled with the sage advice his father passed along to him over the years. These are funny things like: "Death is part of life, but so is the clap," or wise things like, "money is nothing--it's the adventure that I loved;" and Guy's father, Frances Langman had led an adventurous life. He famously invented, "the Langman valve" that revolutionized deep-sea diving and he found a shipwreck filled with ancient gold coins. But the most amazing discovery that Guy makes in the course of his investigation into his father's life is the fact that his father had another son by another previous wife and he never told Guy about it.

Guy finds out about this about a third of the way through the book and this becomes all-consuming to him. Guy begins to question the idealized version he holds of his father and Guy now believes that the strange man at his father's funeral was the other son and he sets out to prove it with the help of the head of the forensics club, Mr. Zant. Guy has continued with the forensics club because of his girl crush, but begins to develop a friendship with another girl and some of the other club members as well. There's another mystery to solve that has to do with the death of a student from a rival school. This school has a forensics club as well and when the two clubs compete in the final club activity of the year, there is an accident. The police rule the death as a suicide, but Guy and his friends aren't convinced and put their new skills to work to find out additional information.

There's other plot twists that keep things interesting. At one point, the gold coins that Guy's father found on the shipwreck get stolen. Guy immediately suspects Jacque (his half-brother) of taking them. It turns out that Hairston, a boy that the whole school bullies and calls, "Penishead" is the culprit. The book that Guy is writing turns more into his "sad journal" as we learn that Guy is really having serious trouble with the grieving process. Guy's crush turns out to be dating Anoop and at first Guy is pretty angry about that, but then later develops a friendship with Maureen Fields, a member of his forensics posse. Guy and Anoop eventually make up and the two of them go into Manhattan to track down and confront Jacque, whom Guy also suspects of murdering the student that died during the forensic club activity. He leans that the reason Frances Langman never told Guy about his half-brother is that Jacque is gay, a fact that Frances could not accept.

The story ends with a touching meeting between Guy and Maureen. They visit the cemetery where Frances Langman is buried and Guy sets fire to the book he has told himself he was writing about his father, but that's really the book he has written to work through his grief. As I write this now it sounds corny, but really it is just exactly what this character would do. Then Maureen gives him an ascot, something that his father wore that he told her about, and they kiss. The very end of the book is one last page of the book and it's just the right touch to cap off this story.

For teenagers because there is frank talk about how poor Guy gets involuntary boners, there's swearing and bullying, and of course, there is the small matter of that kid dying...
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Jul 12, 2012 MaryBookSwarm rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

From the title, you can tell this is probably going to be funny. If you know Josh Berk, he is quite a funny guy with translates over to his novels. And, you'd be right.

Guy Langman is, yes, a procrastinator. (Been there, feel your pain, buddy. It never goes away!) Holy cow, this boy reminds me of way too many of the guys in my acquaintance (as a high school teacher, I know many...*shudder* high school boys are a breed of their own!) and it's a little scary when we get to delve into Guy's thought...more

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May 01, 2012 Kelly rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was one of those books that I'm glad I read once but have no need to ever read again. It's not that it was a bad book, but the plot seemed very underdeveloped and most of the characters did as well. We got a great look at the inner workings of Guy's mind but saw very little into the lives of the supporting characters. I enjoyed the descriptions of his father, the excerpts from his book/journal and the descriptions of the fingerprinting and other forensic science moments. I didn't care at al...more

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Apr 14, 2012 Beverly rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: 14-16 year olds

Recommended to Beverly by: indiebound.org/nextlist

Shelves: young-adult-books

Guy Langman is an average normal 16 year old dealing with some very difficult adult problems. Not only has his larger-than-life father died, but Guy is discovering secrets about his father that are causing Guy question his relationship with both of his parents. Like many bright 16 year old boys, Guy uses sarcasm to get through emotionally tough times. (The sarcasm is very witty, but will probably be over the heads of younger teens.) Guy's best friend, Anoop, talks him into joining the new Forens...more

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Apr 11, 2012 Sarai rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult-fiction, mystery

I would have given this a 3.5.

This is a pretty decent book except at times I felt the author, like the main character, was trying too hard to be funny. Overall, though, it was a good read.

Book Description
Publication Date: March 13, 2012
Guy Langman can't be bothered with much. But when his friend Anoop wants Guy to join the forensics club with him in the (possibly misguided) hopes of impressing some girls, Guy thinks why not.

They certainly aren't expecting to find a real dead body on the simulate...more

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Mar 13, 2012 Becky Moe rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, netgalley, ya

What a fun book! (Although it does perhaps give a little too much information about the thought process of teenage boys for those of us who aren't and never have been one to feel totally comfortable with. Especially if you work in close proximity to them every day and/or happen to live with one.) I didn't go into it expecting a big crime mystery (he is the crime scene procrastinator, after all) so I wasn't at all disappointed that the actual crime was such a small part of the book. Instead it wa...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Ellie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, crime

Guy Langman joins the school Forensics Squad shortly after his father dies. It's only because his best friend has talked him into it...that and the fact that the girl he fancies is going to be there too. He soon learns that his father had been keeping secrets. Can he use his new found skills to discover the truth?

Guy is an awkward boy, he tries to be funny but doesn't quite make it. He knows that and so do those around him. It can be a bit annoying but he is a much more realistic portrayal of a...more

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Sep 15, 2011 Cyberiasha rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I have to give this book 5 out of 5 stars. Seriously, Guy Langman is hilarious and real. The random thoughts that float through this amateur crime scene investigators mind are so spot on that you can’t help but cheer for him. Guy Langman is a high school junior dealing with the “what if’s” in life, after the death of his father. He’s made an art out of not trying too hard and in many respects has been able to get by just under the radar at least in his mind.

However, Guys’ best friend Anoop has...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Rebecca added it · review of another edition

A murder mystery with humour thrown in. Sign me up! With a title like Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator I was definitely intrigued by this one. Needless to say after laughing through some of the very beginning pages I knew this would be one I really enjoyed.

One thing I do have to warn however, is that the description is quite misleading. It mentions a dead body and well you don't actually come across that part of the story until over halfway through. I have to say though, that isn't the ma...more

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May 02, 2013 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, humor, booktalks, mystery, 8th-grade, forensics

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Aug 07, 2012 Anita rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Guy Langman Crime Scene Procrastinator
By Josh Berk (Fiction)

Guy Langman is your typical teen: he is crazy about girls and he has his quirks. He loves bubble baths and thinks he’s funny, with a ton of one-liners. When his best friend, the fashionable and straight laced Anoop, asks him to join forensics club to meet girls, Guy figures sure why not. They meet hot girl Raquel, Goth girl Maureen and a few more oddballs who are all unique in their own way; these characters make up the high school for...more Guy Langman Crime Scene Procrastinator
By Josh Berk (Fiction)

Guy Langman is your typical teen: he is crazy about girls and he has his quirks. He loves bubble baths and thinks he’s funny, with a ton of one-liners. When his best friend, the fashionable and straight laced Anoop, asks him to join forensics club to meet girls, Guy figures sure why not. They meet hot girl Raquel, Goth girl Maureen and a few more oddballs who are all unique in their own way; these characters make up the high school forensics club.
Still getting over the death of his father, Guy feels he never really knew him. Guy wonders how many secrets his father had. With no help from his mother Guy starts investigating on his own. Trying not to forget his father Guy starts writing Rules for Living, quotes and sayings from his father, Francis Langman.
“You must respect everyone you meet, yet fear no one you meet. No matter who they are, they don’t know what the hell they’re doing in this life any more than you do.“ -Francis Langman
The forensics club soon gets to test their new skills when Guy and his mother have a break-in at their house and real treasure is taken from the attic. This is just another mystery for Guy to solve. The first being the mysterious man at his father’s funeral and his father himself.
After Anoop and Guy have a falling out over a girl (of course) Guy begins to spend more time with the forensics kids, finding new friends. He also finds he may have more in common with them than he thought.
On the day of the Forensics final Anoop and Guy are on a team together. As they stumble over the golf course looking for clues, getting further and further in the trees, they find a body and it’s the real deal, not the fake dummy set up for the final. Both of them begin screaming hysterically like little girls.
“Yes I screamed. A lot. Anoop screamed some too. We are both screaming hysterically, yelling ‘Oh my God! and Holy shit! and Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-shit’.”
Guy, Anoop and the forensics club must now find out who the dead guy is. Is he related to the break in at Guys house or the mystery man at his father’s funeral?
I recommend this book as it has something for everyone. The colorful students in the forensics club keep the story interesting and moving along. Exploring friendships, mystery, death, having lots of raunchy humor and a great twist at the end makes this a must read.

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Aug 06, 2012 Jelsa M rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Guy Langman: Crime Scene Procrastinator. I would rate this book 1.5 stars. It was really hard for me to choose a rating. Typically I rather go "I didn't like it" or "It was okay" or "Hmm, now my hope in Young Adult fiction is redeemed." Unfortunately, I did not say the last thing when I read this book for many reasons.
Dedication: I'll admit, this is what made me pick this particular book over the other 20 lying around in my "I just borrowed these from the library and now I guess it's time to rea...more Guy Langman: Crime Scene Procrastinator. I would rate this book 1.5 stars. It was really hard for me to choose a rating. Typically I rather go "I didn't like it" or "It was okay" or "Hmm, now my hope in Young Adult fiction is redeemed." Unfortunately, I did not say the last thing when I read this book for many reasons.
Dedication: I'll admit, this is what made me pick this particular book over the other 20 lying around in my "I just borrowed these from the library and now I guess it's time to read them" stack. I love Lisa Madigan (known to more as L.K. Madigan). She inspired me to write a novel with a male protagonist, an unconventional ending, and to really look into why people are who they are. I was extremely upset to hear she passed away last year, as I wanted to thank her for being my inspiration. I don't think I could call myself a writer if I hadn't stumbled across Flash Burnout in my school library. Blake's voice was so fresh and redeemed my hope in Young Adult fiction. But most of all, as stated earlier, I was inspired after reading it. So I had extremely high hopes for this book because it's probably my favorite general fiction novel I've ever read.
I was sorely disappointed when I finished this novel.
First of all, I didn't really get the title. Why not just "Crime Scene Procrastinator" or something like that? The usage of the narrator's name is completely unnecessary. It takes up time and space and doesn't really tell the reader a whole lot. "Crime Scene Procrastinator" was all I really saw when I picked up the book.
Pet Peeve # 1 found in this novel: Using the narrator's name in the title.
Come on. So many books already have the narrator's name in the title. I don't usually mind books such as "Looking for Alaska" or something that puns on a narrator's name, but here there was really no point in stating his name. Plus I didn't really see much procrastination like I'd expected, so the title was rather misleading. The only thing about it that seems important in any way is "Crime Scene." And there was a crime scene. Sort of. We'll get to that in a bit.
This brings us to the character of Guy. I also had high hopes reading this novel because I really wanted to read something that was from a male point of view. Even better, the author is male! I thought that would help immensely with his writing. I was, again, sorely disappointed. Guy pretty much seemed to fit the stereotypical horny and sexual teenager. Which is fine if there's just a bit of it sprinkled here and there as necessary because yeah, that's how a lot of teenage guys are. I would know. I have two brothers and spend more than half my life hanging out with my own teenage guy friends. But really? A lot of the mentioning of all this sexual stuff was so unnecessary. Especially considering this was written more like a middle grade than a young adult novel, at least in my opinion. If I found this in the children's section and there wasn't so much being turned on and boner material, then maybe I would be a little more okay with this. But no. There wasn't really much originality in the character. He was lazy, didn't really have a hobby, and frankly was quite annoying. Not to mention his humor really wasn't all that funny either. That's saying a lot coming from someone who is just a little too easily amused, and has been told she is by more than just several people. (Ooh. Squirrel! Wait. I'm writing a book review. I'll let them distract me later.)
Now to Anoop, the best friend or sidekick or whatever we want to call him. Guess it doesn't matter too much. I appreciate the cultural diversity represented in this book, because hey, YA needs some of that. But giving Anoop a ridiculous last name did not help matters. I still can't pronounce it. I've been staring at it for a while trying, and I just gave up. For the most part, I liked Anoop just a smidge more than his best friend. But I still didn't like him a whole lot. He just didn't resonate me. Guy didn't either. The pair said so many juvenile things I seriously had to keep knocking my head against a wall to remind me that they were in fact high school juniors, not seventh graders. (I live with a high school junior and a high school freshman, so I think I know my stuff when it comes to guys. Correct me if I'm wrong.) Guys (even guys like Guy, haha, bad pun, I just had to do it) in high school do not shout (as quoted from page 104) "Frank Boner here. J/K! It's Guy Langman from school. How's it going?"
(On a side, note, “How’s it going”? Really? Even girls don’t say that. No one really says that. “What’s up” or just “It’s me. Guy Langman” or something like that would’ve worked. Boys do not use more words than they need to. They really don’t. I would know.)
Now I write YA fiction as well, and typically from the male perspective. I may not be a teenage guy, but I'm not disillusioned enough to think a guy would scream "J/K" into a phone. Not unless he was a girl. And even if he was a girl, really? Back when the younger me (as in like fourteen year old me) wrote terrible fiction and used OMG and other acronyms of that nature, I was advised against it. I see why now. But again, at least I got my female main characters screaming acronyms into their phones, not males. This is just one of many examples. I don't really feel like looking for more of those, because we're about to get to Jelsa's second pet peeve.
Pet Peeve #2: The dialogue. Oh, gosh, the dialogue. I wanted my forehead to meet the desk so many times while reading this. (Or in the case of me while reading in the car, forehead meeting window.) Just paragraphs and paragraphs of talking head syndrome and absolutely no actions in between dialogue. Someone really needs to let this author know that 70% of communication--yes, 70, not 5 or 1 or .000001--is body language. I can excuse some of the phone conversations' lack of dialogue (for realism), but there were multiple scenes where I just found quotation marks running down the side of the page. And I seriously wanted to throw the book at the wall.
I do not typically throw books at walls.
If one needs to look for examples of this, look at page 137 starting with "I think we're getting off track here" down to halfway (a little more than, actually) of page 138. 23 paragraphs in a row that all started with dialogue. Just seeing even four or five of those too close together usually wants to make me punch something. Imagine 23. I only counted the paragraphs for the sake of this review. Again, possibly okay in middle grade or children's fiction. Definitely not okay in YA. And definitely not okay considering this happened more than once. I didn’t have this scene picked out before I started the review, but all I had to do was flick the thing open and BAM, I found an example. That has to mean something. Either that or the universe just wanted to help me write this review faster.
Pacing in this book wasn't very good either. Way too much time was spent in the beginning, and the climax was first of all, short. Second, poorly written. Now, I give the author some credit because it wasn't predictable. I always appreciate that, especially considering this is supposed to be a mystery novel. But I would've loved for the mystery to be drawn out way longer in Part Two. What was up with Part Two starting with the climax, anyway? It should've been tacked onto the end of Part One. Guess the author realized how little he wrote for Part Two and was too lazy to make it longer, fuller, and more realistic than he did? I don't know. Hey. I'm not the author. Just a reader. Who is just a bit more picky than she should be sometimes.
Then comes the plot holes. And I guess the spoiler alerts, but whatever. How did Hairston whatever his name was (something about him being a third but me not really caring enough right now to find out) find out about the coins? That was never really mentioned. And that was a big part of the whole novel. I was quite disappointed when it ended up being him. Jacques would've been fun to pin the blame on. Even poor little Indian Anoop. Actually, if written the right way, that could've been executed really well. It would've been way more interesting than pinning the blame on the pervy outcast hacker with an obscene nickname who was a fifteen-year-old junior who couldn't drive who wasn't even in half the novel anyway. I still don't get what made them think Hairston did it. Yes, it was unlikely and in a good mystery novel it's always the unlikely person who did it, but come on. This was too unlikely. It wasn't even plausible in any way. (Oh yeah, and again with the porn mentioned in that novel. Absolutely unnecessary. But I don't want to get into that.)
The only character that I didn't hate with all my heart at the end of the book was Maureen. Why? Well, at least she had hobbies. A personality. She did have outlandish ideas, but that made her fun as a character, and at least the pun in her poetry didn't make me want to fall over and not get up and keep reading. (Too bad I force myself to finish reading every book I pick up.) The only reason why I didn't quite like her is I still don't see what she saw in the narrator. Who I still don't like. Typically most of the books I read will get 2 stars for not being memorable or characters being flat or a terrible plot or a very unfinished ending. (Which I guess was yet another one of those few redeeming things in this novel. It wasn't total crap, but in case it isn't obvious by now, I didn't think it was very good either.) This one I am only giving an extra .5 to because of who the book is dedicated to. Otherwise this would be a flat out 1 starred novel. Now, I do give out a lot of 2 stars, but the 1 stars I give out are few and far between. Like to the Twilight series. Which I also rather not get into.
Most importantly though, there was so much lack of emotion in this novel I really just didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I'd let my dog eat the book or something, but I kind of borrowed it from the library. Well, at least I didn't pay for it. But there is a serious lack of emotional connection in this novel. I was hoping for at least a little angst or something like that after the death of the narrator's dad and all that, but nope. Nada. Just look at this excerpt.
"Man," I say, feeling so sad for Toby. "It really is sad."
I as a reader can barely sympathize, let alone empathize right now. Yes, people die. And yeah, it's sad. But there's nothing wrong with a little human reaction to it. Nope. Apparently that was too much to ask here though.

The scene I was really looking for was the one when Guy found a note his father left. I no longer feel like looking for it because I feel like I've wasted enough of my time both reading this novel and writing a review for it. There may be other things I should also mention, but my dog is now begging me for a walk, and I feel like he deserves some attention from me after I've neglected him to write this. So that is it for now.
(Actually, maybe it's a good thing my dog is stopping me from writing any more than I have. This review is already well over two thousand words long. Hopefully the next novel I read will not be as viciously torn apart. Mostly because I have better things to do with my time.)(less)

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Sep 20, 2011 Jo rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: for-review, oh-come-on, ya, e

Taking a break from my usual review method ~~because I'm feeling lazy today~~.
I was really disappointed with this one and it makes me sad. I thought I was going to absolutely love it.
But something really didn’t sit with me.

The story was alright, although I felt there was faaaar too little happening in the first half. And then when the interesting stuff happened, we were pretty much done.
I really wanted to find out more about Guy’s dad and his background. I mean.. he’s a deep sea diver who looks f...more

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Feb 23, 2013 Wally rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: boy-hero, boylit, doorway-character, humor, job-fic, schools, teen

Guy lacks direction, especially now that his somewhat elderly father has died, but his friend Anoop tricks him into joining the afterschool forensics club, where he makes a few new friends, including with a couple of cute and interesting girls, learns about forensics, and finds himself trying to solve a couple of real crimes.

Berk’s second book is solid storytelling about a boy dealing with his own grief while still being a smart-talking teenager with his own perspective. Guy’s feelings come off...more

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Sep 21, 2011 Catie rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read-in-2011, ya, mystery-thriller-noir, for-review

Well, I made it to about 50%. I am so bummed about this one. After reading The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin I was so excited to get my hands on this early. But unfortunately, this does not live up to his first book. Where Will Halpin has depth, subtlety, and good humored self-deprecation (and yes, a few juvenile jokes), Guy Langman has none of the above…except for the juvenile jokes. He has those in groan-inducing, schlocky abundance. The whole time I was reading this, I felt like I needed a gu...more Well, I made it to about 50%. I am so bummed about this one. After reading The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin I was so excited to get my hands on this early. But unfortunately, this does not live up to his first book. Where Will Halpin has depth, subtlety, and good humored self-deprecation (and yes, a few juvenile jokes), Guy Langman has none of the above…except for the juvenile jokes. He has those in groan-inducing, schlocky abundance. The whole time I was reading this, I felt like I needed a guy behind me with a drum kit, doing that whole da-dun cha! sound effect.

Well, at least one thing can be said: this definitely isn’t just a rehash of the same character. Guy feels like a completely different and new person. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t tolerate him. It’s not that I don’t like him; he just reminds me intensely of why I’m glad that I’ll never have sons. He makes me think of all those times that my girls and I have gone to public play areas, on the days when there are large crowds of boys there. They run around, screaming, pretending to shoot each other with finger-guns. And my girls are just standing there, looking confused and a bit condescending, like, “Really? This is what they do for fun? Okay….”

It’s not like I don’t enjoy the juvenile humor, either. I can honestly say that The Naked Gun 2 ½ is one of my favorite movies of all time. Seriously. But in this book, he has to explain every single joke to the point where it’s so transparent that it’s no longer just juvenile; it’s infantile.

And I was so pumped for the forensic science angle, but this book isn’t really about forensic science; it’s about crime solving: hunches, wild leaps, illogical gut feelings. Things which have no place in science. Things which are sometimes incorrectly associated with forensic science, and thus give forensic science the “not a real science” reputation.

So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend this. However, his first book is great. Please pick that one up instead!

Perfect Musical Pairing

Weezer – Beverly Hills

I used to love Weezer. Their first two albums are still good. But then they came out with this…this…crap. Repetitive, boring…Hef in the video. Ugh.
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Jul 03, 2012 Simon rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: whisked-me-away, almost-never-read

This book was actually quite remarkable, I loved it!

It was an on a whim decision to read it and I love that I did.

The book covered subject material not very common in the fictional world but are very real in modern life today.

Like the the topic of an older man marrying a younger woman and having a kid. That was the central role of the main characters.

Guy Langman is the son of a deceased 80 something year old man with a 40ish year old mother.
Then the whole Forensics club was a great after school...more

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Nov 04, 2012 Clementine rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2012, cybils-2012, ya

Guy Langman doesn’t let much ruffle him. He’s your typical smart-boy slacker: he just doesn’t care all that much. But when his best friend Anoop convinces him to join the school’s forensics club in order to meet some girls, Guy decides to go for it. What results isn’t what they necessarily thought they were going to get: there’s a real dead body, a bunch of valuable stolen coins, and the fact that Guy can’t stop thinking about his recently-deceased father. Like it or not, Guy’s going to have to...more Guy Langman doesn’t let much ruffle him. He’s your typical smart-boy slacker: he just doesn’t care all that much. But when his best friend Anoop convinces him to join the school’s forensics club in order to meet some girls, Guy decides to go for it. What results isn’t what they necessarily thought they were going to get: there’s a real dead body, a bunch of valuable stolen coins, and the fact that Guy can’t stop thinking about his recently-deceased father. Like it or not, Guy’s going to have to use all his new forensic skills to figure some stuff out.

It’s difficult to walk the line between humor and grief. It’s even harder to blend the two so perfectly, but that’s exactly what Josh Berk does in this funny, heartfelt novel about a slacker kid who’s starting to figure out his life. Vivid characters, truly funny observations about life and love, and a memorable plot make this a standout in the mystery genre this year.

Berk nails Guy’s voice from page one, and in doing so guarantees that he’ll hook even the most reluctant reader (this one was convinced). Guy is too smart for his own good, bored by school, and apathetic about most things, but it becomes clear early on that he’s really struggling with the death of his father. There’s some character growth here, but it’s subtle, and Berk goes for the laughs as often as he does the tears.

A brilliant supporting cast make this one a total trip to read. All of the characters who populate Guy’s world are interesting, quirky, and undeniably human. The hijinx Guy and his friends find themselves up to are completely entertaining, and the novel’s quick pacing keep the games afoot (or a-thumb, as the case may be).

Overall a really fun read with a surprising amount of depth. Highly recommended, but especially for those who like their humor a little dark and their wit a little edgy. One of my favorite reads of the fall, for the laughs alone.

Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator by Josh Berk. Knopf Books for Young Readers: 2012. Library copy. Read for 2012 Cybils Round 1 Panel.(less)

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Oct 02, 2012 Carol rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: audiobook, boys, contemporary-fiction, pa-author, relationships, young-adult

Josh Berk is a talented, gifted writer. The opening paragraph of this novel makes one want to move to New Jersey for its beautiful landscape! Who knew after all the abuse NJ gets as the butt of so many jokes? Throughout the book Josh via his protagonist, Guy, has fun with the vicissitudes of language, thoughts, and life. By and large I enjoy that, yet sometimes I feel like I am in (or not)...the game. I pull back from books that want to show me how superior we "readers" are. Josh doesn't do that...more

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Feb 11, 2013 Tamara Richman rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, mystery, young-adult

This was a hard one for me to get into. Guy is an incredibly goofy, irritatingly lazy and totally believable suburban teen. Nothing much seems to interest him except perhaps the life of his recently deceased father who seems to have born a remarkable resemblance (both physical and mental) to Hemingway. Guy's best friend Anoop tricks him into joining the school forensics team which leads to (gasp, horror, shock) a real dead body. Guy bestirs himself with the help of his forensics friends (cue lov...more

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Apr 07, 2013 Shawna rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Well I had a really hard time with this one. I almost gave up at about 25 pages in because the "humor" was driving me crazy. I didn't find it funny, more obnoxious than anything. Then I read a couple reviews, and they said it didn't really pick up until the second half of the book, when the murder and everything come into play. I find it kind of sad that it takes half the book just to get to what the book is really about. So I decided I'd skip to the second half of the book. Thye're right, it re...more

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Dec 11, 2012 Heidi rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ya, read-2012

Guy seems to be dealing with the death of his dad. He and his best friend, Anoop, join the forensics club at school; who is also a member but Raquel, the girl of Guy's dreams. The story drags for half the book, with the best parts being the teen boy potty humor (which I didn't necessarily enjoy but the target audience most likely will). When a murder finally appears, the story picks up but it wasn't enough for me to enjoy the story as a whole. Some forensic science, some mystery. My favorite cha...more

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Apr 15, 2012 Courtney rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: dnf

More reviews at Rondo of a Possible World: YA Book Reviews

I got about 40% into the book and I just couldn't read anymore. I didn't really know where the book was actually going and the characters just bored me to tears. The attempts to be funny by the characters were hard to sit through or just make me cringe and look the other way. I had hopes for the book seeing as it had to do with forensics and I love those kinda things but I just couldn't sit and go through corny joke after corny joke or...more

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Mar 08, 2013 Laura rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It took me a long time to finish this only because the story didn't really take off until about halfway through the book. Also the dialog seemed forced at times, like an attempt to make the protagonist seem "real" went a little too far. Still, there were plenty of times that this book made me smile.

When I think I'm funny, I have a problem with volume control.

"Can't you take the bus?"
"What?"
"Big yellow thing, maybe you've seen it around town. Its wheels go round and round. Round and round. Round...more

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Apr 23, 2012 Newport Librarians rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ms-becky, ya-fiction

What a great change of pace for YA literature! It's still a boy on the journey to manhood, but who can take someone seriously whose special talent is being lazy? Guy's best friend Anup convinces him to join a four-ensics club during which Guy's house is broken into and his dead father's sunken treasure is stolen - really! Who knew there would be a real dead body for the final? Guy has a brother? And will his book of "dad-isms" make the best seller list or just help him let go? Read on a find out...more

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Apr 02, 2012 George Kulz rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book had everything - a realistic main character (I can say that because I was a teen boy once upon a time), lots of mystery, and LOTS of laughs! Not only do the laughs help me give this one 5 stars, but this story has one of those characteristics that I like about good mysteries - all the seemingly disparate elements tie together in the end. Also, I do like that Guy's personal conflicts tie together with the external conflict. Authors who can pull these kinds of things off go right to the...more

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Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator

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