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Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator

3.4  ·  Rating Details ·  429 Ratings  ·  121 Reviews
Guy Langman can't be bothered with much. But when his friend Anoop wants Guy to join the forensics club with him in the (possibly misguided) hopes of impressing some girls, Guy thinks why not.

They certainly aren't expecting to find a real dead body on the simulated crime scene they're assigned to collect evidence from. But after some girlish, undignified screaming, the two
Hardcover, 240 pages
Published March 13th 2012 by Knopf Books for Young Readers (first published January 1st 2012)
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Well, I made it to about 50%. I am so bummed about this one. After reading The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin I was so excited to get my hands on this early. But unfortunately, this does not live up to his first book. Where Will Halpin has depth, subtlety, and good humored self-deprecation (and yes, a few juvenile jokes), Guy Langman has none of the above…except for the juvenile jokes. He has those in groan-inducing, schlocky abundance. The whole time I was reading this, I felt like I needed a gu ...more
Sep 20, 2011 Jo rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, for-review, oh-come-on, e
Taking a break from my usual review method because I'm feeling lazy today.
I was really disappointed with this one and it makes me sad. I thought I was going to absolutely love it.
But something really didn’t sit with me.

The story was alright, although I felt there was faaaar too little happening in the first half. And then when the interesting stuff happened, we were pretty much done.
I really wanted to find out more about Guy’s dad and his background. I mean.. he’s a deep sea diver who looks f
I was a bit disappointed when I read the book. It’s not very bad, but after I read what it was about, I had hoped to see the murder victim and the investigation sooner. The murder victim doesn’t appear until the second half of the book. The first half is very slow and although it is not too boring to see Guy’s everyday life, this could have been written a bit faster.

The second half of the book, on the other hand, is very interesting to read. We finally see the murder and the investigation has so
Mar 13, 2012 Becky rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a fun book! (Although it does perhaps give a little too much information about the thought process of teenage boys for those of us who aren't and never have been one to feel totally comfortable with. Especially if you work in close proximity to them every day and/or happen to live with one.) I didn't go into it expecting a big crime mystery (he is the crime scene procrastinator, after all) so I wasn't at all disappointed that the actual crime was such a small part of the book. Instead it wa ...more
Mar 24, 2012 Cara rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator is part mystery, part coming of age, and part comedy. Guy himself is a very likeable character, who is going through a rough time. He’s just lost his dad, (he died, he has not been misplaced) and he’s learning to cope with that. His best friend Anoop gets him to join the Forensics club at school, and that’s when the fun begins. There are a couple of mysteries, some definite characters, an unrequited love, and sunken treasure. Overall, I enjoyed the story a ...more
Trish Doller
Sep 11, 2011 Trish Doller rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed Josh's first book, but this one...oh, man. It's filled with funny, but it's also smart and tender and really, really special.
Kristy McRae
Nov 02, 2012 Kristy McRae rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Great story, lots of laugh-out-loud humor, and fabulous characters! Josh Berk nails the teen-boy narrator's voice, as well as the other teen characters, and how they interact.
Jelsa Mepsey
Aug 06, 2012 Jelsa Mepsey rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Guy Langman: Crime Scene Procrastinator. I would rate this book 1.5 stars. It was really hard for me to choose a rating. Typically I rather go "I didn't like it" or "It was okay" or "Hmm, now my hope in Young Adult fiction is redeemed." Unfortunately, I did not say the last thing when I read this book for many reasons.
Dedication: I'll admit, this is what made me pick this particular book over the other 20 lying around in my "I just borrowed these from the library and now I guess it's time to rea
Sep 24, 2012 LJ rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: young-adult, mystery
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Nov 10, 2014 Gabi rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Now this was a really good book.

I'm not going to lie, I've been on a streak of choosing crappy novels, and you can choose to believe my judgement is screwed up. But I think this book was the most awesome thing I've picked up in months.

I liked Guy's little cheesy word-play jokes that only make sense to him and the reader. I connect with him on a deep, spiritual level, on the subject of laziness. I appreciated the fact that having a dead parent wasn't just a way to pull sympathy from the reader;
Apr 05, 2012 Sara rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: young-adult, 2012
4.5 stars. Guy Langman is a lazy high school student whose dad, a man with a mysterious past, died less than a year ago. Guy starts trying to piece together his dad's past, writing down quotes from him and searching through his possessions. Meanwhile, at school, Guy's best friend convinces him that the best way to meet girls is to join the new Forensics Club, so Guy joins and starts learning more about investigative techniques. While conducting a fake "investigation" for the club, Guy stumbles a ...more
Mar 05, 2012 Bookworm1858 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have to start out by saying that I'm a native Pennsylvanian (Philadelphia suburbs) and therefore it is basically my birthright to disdain New Jersey. Not for any particular reason, just because. Thus upon seeing that this book is set in New Jersey, I may have sniffed a little-why would you set your book in the Jerz (note: this is what the narrator calls the state, not something I would ever come up with). Of course I kept reading wanting to give this book a fair shake and when I ended up liter ...more
Aug 07, 2012 Anita rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Guy Langman Crime Scene Procrastinator
By Josh Berk (Fiction)

Guy Langman is your typical teen: he is crazy about girls and he has his quirks. He loves bubble baths and thinks he’s funny, with a ton of one-liners. When his best friend, the fashionable and straight laced Anoop, asks him to join forensics club to meet girls, Guy figures sure why not. They meet hot girl Raquel, Goth girl Maureen and a few more oddballs who are all unique in their own way; these characters make up the high school for
Nov 04, 2012 Clementine rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, 2012
Guy Langman doesn’t let much ruffle him. He’s your typical smart-boy slacker: he just doesn’t care all that much. But when his best friend Anoop convinces him to join the school’s forensics club in order to meet some girls, Guy decides to go for it. What results isn’t what they necessarily thought they were going to get: there’s a real dead body, a bunch of valuable stolen coins, and the fact that Guy can’t stop thinking about his recently-deceased father. Like it or not, Guy’s going to have to ...more
Katie Fitzgerald
Ever since his dad died, Guy has been simply coasting through life. He has no college plans, no driver’s license and no girlfriend, and though his best friend, Anoop, tries to encourage him, Guy mostly ignores his prompting and does his own thing. When he finds out that the girl he has a major crush on has joined the school forensics squad, this does get Guy’s attention, and he joins along with Anoop. This doesn’t quite lead to the love connection he has in mind, but he does discover his aptitud ...more
Isa Lavinia
Sep 04, 2011 Isa Lavinia rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everyone
I got this book from netgalley (first book I got from them for which I am truly grateful) and even though I just finished reading it I can't wait to get my hands on a physical copy once it's released (March 2012, can you believe we all have to wait that long?!).

This book managed to be consistently funny, but in a completely believable way, none of it seemed forced. The dialogue was a thing of beauty. I know it's a weird thing to say when describing teens talking, but that's just it - it was so u
Jul 20, 2013 Nic rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audiobook
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Ms. Yingling
When Guy's father dies and his best friend Anoop tries to get him to join the school Forensics Squad, he thinks "Why not?", especially when he realizes that Raquel, whom he rather likes, is joining. The teacher in charge, Mr. Zant, is not always amused by Guy's tomfoolery, but is very excited about forensic science, and the group learns about fingerprinting and lots of other ways to evaluate crimes scenes. This comes in handy when someone breaks into Guy's attic and steals valuable coins, and la ...more
Nov 05, 2012 Christina rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Hilarious story of a slacker guy just trying to do as little as possible, and get over the loss of his dad at the same time. Guy joins his high school's CSI/Forensics Club but only because his best friend Anoop assures him it will help them impress the hot girls in the club. Guy's like, whatever dude. But he *is* interested in a cute girl in the club, so maybe...Guy's also hurting from the recent death of his dad, a man who was older than his mom and was married before. Guy discovers some things ...more
Mar 28, 2012 Amy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, netgalley-arc
I wanted to love this book. The title is awesome, and I'm a huge fan of procedural crime dramas so anything involving humor and forensics has to be fabulous, right? In the case of Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator, the uneven quality of the writing brought it down. When Guy is describing situations in the present and in his own voice, he's funny and quirky, but the sentimental slumps into memories about things his dad used to say.

Guy is still recovering from his father's recent death, and
Mar 08, 2013 Laura rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
It took me a long time to finish this only because the story didn't really take off until about halfway through the book. Also the dialog seemed forced at times, like an attempt to make the protagonist seem "real" went a little too far. Still, there were plenty of times that this book made me smile.

When I think I'm funny, I have a problem with volume control.

"Can't you take the bus?"
"Big yellow thing, maybe you've seen it around town. Its wheels go round and round. Round and round. Round
Apr 14, 2012 Beverly rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: 14-16 year olds
Recommended to Beverly by:
Guy Langman is an average normal 16 year old dealing with some very difficult adult problems. Not only has his larger-than-life father died, but Guy is discovering secrets about his father that are causing Guy question his relationship with both of his parents. Like many bright 16 year old boys, Guy uses sarcasm to get through emotionally tough times. (The sarcasm is very witty, but will probably be over the heads of younger teens.) Guy's best friend, Anoop, talks him into joining the new Forens ...more
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Guy Langman joins his school's forensics club soon after his father dies. When, at their simulated crime scene, Guy and his best friend discover a real dead body that looks suspiciously like Guy (and may somehow have ties back to his dead father), they and the rest of the club begin their own investigation of the murder.

This book was so close to being worthy of three stars. The characters were all so likable, especially the forensics team, which was made up of quirky and interesting students. Gu
This book was actually quite remarkable, I loved it!

It was an on a whim decision to read it and I love that I did.

The book covered subject material not very common in the fictional world but are very real in modern life today.

Like the the topic of an older man marrying a younger woman and having a kid. That was the central role of the main characters.

Guy Langman is the son of a deceased 80 something year old man with a 40ish year old mother.
Then the whole Forensics club was a great after school
Mar 11, 2012 Ellie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: crime, young-adult
Guy Langman joins the school Forensics Squad shortly after his father dies. It's only because his best friend has talked him into it...that and the fact that the girl he fancies is going to be there too. He soon learns that his father had been keeping secrets. Can he use his new found skills to discover the truth?

Guy is an awkward boy, he tries to be funny but doesn't quite make it. He knows that and so do those around him. It can be a bit annoying but he is a much more realistic portrayal of a
A murder mystery with humour thrown in. Sign me up! With a title like Guy Langman, Crime Scene Procrastinator I was definitely intrigued by this one. Needless to say after laughing through some of the very beginning pages I knew this would be one I really enjoyed.

One thing I do have to warn however, is that the description is quite misleading. It mentions a dead body and well you don't actually come across that part of the story until over halfway through. I have to say though, that isn't the ma
Sep 15, 2011 Cyberiasha rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I have to give this book 5 out of 5 stars. Seriously, Guy Langman is hilarious and real. The random thoughts that float through this amateur crime scene investigators mind are so spot on that you can’t help but cheer for him. Guy Langman is a high school junior dealing with the “what if’s” in life, after the death of his father. He’s made an art out of not trying too hard and in many respects has been able to get by just under the radar at least in his mind.

However, Guys’ best friend Anoop has
Apr 11, 2012 Sarai rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I would have given this a 3.5.

This is a pretty decent book except at times I felt the author, like the main character, was trying too hard to be funny. Overall, though, it was a good read.

Book Description
Publication Date: March 13, 2012
Guy Langman can't be bothered with much. But when his friend Anoop wants Guy to join the forensics club with him in the (possibly misguided) hopes of impressing some girls, Guy thinks why not.

They certainly aren't expecting to find a real dead body on the simulate
Ariel Cummins
This book is a funny, quick read for guys (and girls!) who were fans of the Carter books by Brent Crawford and are looking for more. Other than Guy Langman, the characters kind of fall into the normal teen book stereotypes, and the plot is pretty predictable. I also found Guy a little grating, at times, with his quest to be "deep". I suppose that's pretty true to life, though -- teenagers are pretty prone to thinking they're profound.

There are plenty of laughs, though, which is pretty impressive
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The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin will be released on February 9, 2010.

Reading level: Young Adult
Hardcover: 208 pages
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
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“I don't tell her my other career goal, which is to be the guy who shovels hippo crap at the zoo.I realize this is a weird goal, but I figure every career is more or less shoveling hippo crap, so you might as well just go ahead and literally do it, you know?” 0 likes
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