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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales Of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, And Other Mind-Altering Mayhem
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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales Of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live, And Other Mind-Altering Mayhem

3.65  ·  Rating Details ·  2,214 Ratings  ·  244 Reviews
Tina Fey’s Bossypantsmeets David Carr’s The Night of the Gun in Darrell Hammond’sgroundbreaking memoir, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked—a raw look inside the troubled life and mind of anAmerican comic genius. By turns poignant and hilarious, Hammond takes readersfrom the set of Saturday Night Live, where he was the show’slongest-tenured cast member, to the drug-rid ...more
Kindle Edition, 355 pages
Published (first published October 2011)
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Nov 15, 2011 Benjamin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Fair or not, as I read Darrell Hammond’s God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, I couldn’t help comparing it constantly to Tina Fey’s Bossypants. Both Hammond and Fey are prominent alumni of the long-running NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live, and their memoirs were published a mere seven months apart. While Fey’s book was modestly entertaining, it was a bit of a disappointment. It favored cute and clever witticisms over candor and humility. In contrast, Hammond has penned an absorbing ...more
Bryce Rausch
Apr 19, 2013 Bryce Rausch rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have never really been the kind of reader who grabs a book and reads it cover-to-cover in a single sitting. And I'm still not because it took my 2 sittings, but that's fine because I've never really been the kind of reader who grabs a book and reads it cover-to-cover in a couple sittings. So ... #humblebrag.

Darrell Hammond has a story that is unlike even the more dysfunctional comics. From most comedians you expect a little bullying, isolation, sadness, parents getting divorced, lots of drinki
Karl Haug
Dec 14, 2011 Karl Haug rated it really liked it
Growing up in a family where his mother constantly tortured him, physically and emotionally, Darrell Hammond learned to believe that death and pain was around every corner. This pain was lodged so deep in his brain that he would wake up screaming at night, scar up his whole body with razor blades and kitchen knives, and was almost constantly drunk or being shipped off to rehab.
While living in constant fear, he also was busy performing stand-up comedy for SNL and another club/show he could get i
This book was all right. I heard him on Fresh Air and was intrigued in a way I hadn't been before I knew his story was so dark. Darrell Hammond, the guy behind some of the most famous impersonations on SNL, turns out to be another in the school of deeply haunted comics, thus I was intrigued. Sadly, the book was more about his time at SNL and the struggles he was having during them (drinking/drugging/lots of cutting/trips to rehab/etc.) than it was as to what got him there. And although it strugg ...more
Nov 29, 2012 Zoe rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you watched SNL in the late 90s, you likely saw Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton or a number of other characters, including Ted Koppel, Phil Donahue, and everyone's favorite Trebek-mother-bagging Sean Connery. Like many SNL cast members before him, Hammond has his demons. A violent, traumatic childhood resulted in an addicted, alcoholic adulthood that had him in and out of rehabilitation facilities, psych wards, and emergency rooms. He writes frankly about strategically carving up his arms wit ...more
Ily Goyanes

This book is the autobiographical account of Hammond's struggle with alcohol and drugs during his years on Saturday Night Live and beyond. I don't want to be mean, but the book reads as if it were written by someone who was still intoxicated.

Being a huge SNL fan and having fallen in love with Tina Fey all over again after reading Bossy Pants last year, I was eager to read Hammond's book. But while Fey's prose is tight (and hilarious), Hammond's is nonsensical and flat.

He jumps back and
Sandy Bergeron
Dec 08, 2011 Sandy Bergeron rated it it was amazing
NEVER had any idea that Darrell Hammond was going through so much psychological trauma! I am a big fan of his and always enjoyed his Sean Connery impression on the imitation Jeorpardy game on Saturday Night Live and then again when he portrayed John McCain during his townhall meeting with Barak Obama! I would sincerely say he is my all time favorite Saturday Night Live personality. I wish him well with his personal issues and am very impressed he wrote his story.
Aug 25, 2016 Adam rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of SNL
I enjoyed reading this book, though I have to admit that it has its problems.

As has been written in several other reviews of this book on this site, the timeline is kind of screwy. Or maybe it isn't so much the timeline, as the chapters all pertain to a specific set of years, but the switching back and forth from the years discussed in the chapter with remembrances of childhood. Granted, those flashbacks were important, and happening in his real life, but they tended to be a little confusing.

Read this in about a 24 hour period. VERY engrossing, and held me spellbound as his interviews did as well.

I have always watched SNL even through good years and bad, and Hammond was always solid and consistent performer. Which is even more of a compliment now that I read his memoir. I loved all the tidbits about cast members and guest hosts, and especially about his political views (Which are basically nonexistent, which surprised me). I read Bossypants by Tina Fey too, and its great to get bot
Oct 07, 2011 Terry rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: library-journal
Hammond is best known for his impressions of Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live, but an encounter with Grand Marnier got him sent home from Washington, DC, the night before he was to attend Clinton's second inauguration. Starting with his first drink at age 14, Hammond ran the substance-abuse gamut from prescription drugs for a variety of mental illnesses to a sordid night spent in a crack house. His memoir is a series of chronological anecdotes, beginning with his baseball-playing childhood th ...more
Nov 16, 2011 Khryste rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Just finished reading Darrell Hammond's book. I literally could not get enough of this book. I finished 2/3 of it in the first sitting. I've always known that in order to be brilliantly funny you have to be immensely disturbed/depressed/had a messed up childhood. This book is a testament to that fact. Darrell Hammond is an immensely brilliant comedian, as is he, in intensely disturbed/depressed person. I give him such respect for being as open as he is in this book. I think that his book is goin ...more
Lisa Irby
After seeing an interview on Piers Morgan, I knew I wanted to read this book in order to get the whole story. Wow. He was emotional and eloquent when talking about his childhood, but didn't go into too many details. I read most of the book in one sitting because I couldn't put it down. Throughout the book, he jumps through time and describes his addiction to drugs and alcohol and his many misdiagnosis issues with the mental health professionals. His story is one of triumph and hard work. I felt ...more
Nov 07, 2011 Sarah rated it really liked it
I wanted to read this book after hearing Hammond being interviewed on NPR. It was the most disturbing thing I've ever heard on NPR, not simply from the fact that Hammond's mother had horribly abused him, but because you could really hear the hurt in his voice. So this book deals with trauma and addiction along with the celebrity-filled world of SNL.

Really well written, and I wonder if he wrote it without assistance or just had a wonderful editor or what. Lastly I want to add that just a photo o
Jan 02, 2012 Acolvin rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
A good but not great story. It contains a few insights into working in comedy/show biz/SNL. It seems honest, written with enough sarcasm to not get too sappy or dark. A little lite, though on revealing anything too spiritual or deeper than personal tragedy, and relationship stories that were begun (marriage and child) were not brought up to date in the end.

Overall, another story of a person whose life has been screwed up by addiction to alcohol and drugs. In this case, self-medication was the re
Susan Olesen
Jan 03, 2013 Susan Olesen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Abused as a child in a Sybil-esque manner, Hammond found he could calm his mother by doing voice impersonations, which lead to a natural career in comedy. The trauma of his childhood took him more than 40 years to covercome, with repeated forays into rehab for alcohol abuse, depression, panic attacks, and cutting behaviors. This book feels like his final catharsis. The book is so easy to read you feel like you're sitting there talking to him, and he never says a bad word about anyone. One of the ...more
Cory Aldrich
Jan 31, 2012 Cory Aldrich rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Cory Aldrich by: Kerri Aldrich
SNL and I have grown up together, and Hammond's memoir is a tremendous look beyond the sketches. We only ever see these folks three minutes at a time, behind the veil of character and costume. While I would never wish the trauma he endured on my worst enemy, and am grateful for his courage in allowing us in, so that we might see something of the real person behind the personas. What is most striking to me is Hammond's tremendous gratitude towards those who walked with him and at times carried hi ...more
Cara Ellison
Jan 06, 2012 Cara Ellison rated it it was amazing
Darrell Hammond is one of my favorite SNL alums so this book was an auto-buy for me. I was shocked by it; I had no idea that he had been tortured by his mother, that he struggled with drug addiction and cutting and suicidal tendencies. Though it could be dark, he managed to strike the perfect tone between lightness and darkness. The writing was very good, the story was amazing. It left me with renewed and deepened appreciation for one of the most talented comedians of our generation. Flat out lu ...more
Mar 12, 2013 Matt rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It would be a cliche if it weren't so often true--our funniest comics are born of tragic circumstances. Childhoods don't come much crueler than Hammond's, and the SNL impressionist didn't do himself any favors as he got older with his overindulgences. Yep, while he was playing Al Gore, he was pretty effed up on crack.

Hammond doesn't spend a lot of time feeling sorry for himself, and he's a sympathetic character. He's getting help but one gets the idea that he's not there yet, practically falling
Mar 13, 2016 David rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Darrell Hammond has led one crazy life. I was not expecting this kind of book. Figured it'd be the usual life story with some fun stories from SNL, etc. It did have that, but Darrell has a lot of demons, too. Abuse from his mother as a child, as well as drug and alcohol abuse throughout his life, made for a pretty riveting read. Would have been a 4/5, but I thought it lost some steam in the last few chapters. Still a good and surprising read.
Mauoijenn ~ *Mouthy Jenn* ~
Holy Jesus! What a book!!

Heard Hammond talking on NPR a couple of weeks ago about this book. I knew I had to go and get it. I was a huge SNL fan during his stint on it and thought it would be neat to see what that was like. The book was funny in some spots and horrible (as in his horrible childhood) in others. But yet he is a survior none the less. :)
Aug 03, 2015 Sean rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you're a fan of Darrell Hammond, or just comedy, SNL, or impressionists, you'll enjoy this book. It's not all giggles and grins though, he's had quite a life.
Nicolette Harding
Well, that was disturbing!! The funniest people are usually the most disturbed.
David Brooke
Feb 02, 2012 David Brooke rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I reviewed this in a "dueling review" over here:

It duels SNL alum Tina Fey's Bossypants. The God, If You're Not Up There, I'm f*cked review portion is here:

The first thing you’ll note when reading this book is that Darrell Hammond is a troubled man. This isn’t a joke book, nor is it a book focused on making the reader laugh. This is a book about mental illness, but at the same time it does an incredible job taking the reader through what it’s like to work
Jan 01, 2017 Alison rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
a poignant look inside a man who fought his demons and still struggles to this day. very funny. lots of insight on SNL which i love.
Feb 23, 2017 Not_Ruined rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very well written, real and compelling story of the life of a funny impressionist comedian. A real page turner.
Nov 15, 2016 EddieP rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
What a story this guy's life is!
AJ LeBlanc
Nov 09, 2011 AJ LeBlanc rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoirs, cbr-iv
If this book is on your To Be Read list, plan on reading something happy and light before and after. This was a rough one and is going to cling to my brain for a good long time.

I’ve always watched SNL and don’t understand why people love to hate on it so much. It’s been on forever, it’s never going to be as good as you think it was, you’re going to hate at least one cast member and there are always going to be sketches that suck. Shut up and watch, or just shut up.

When I think of Darrell Hammond
Riley Cooper
Jan 01, 2017 Riley Cooper rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Darrell Hammond is a survivor extraordinaire. His story is full of traumatic tales that are quite surprising and saddening. Much of the book, however, chronicles many of his Saturday Night Live experiences. This makes for a book full of highs and lows - exactly like Hammond's life. It's a compelling book.
Gerry O'Malley
Jan 05, 2013 Gerry O'Malley rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Fans of Saturday Night Live or comedy and TV shows.
Recommended to Gerry by: I heard the author on a radio show
This was meant to be my guilty pleasure reading for the holiday season, but it turned out to be a pretty heavy read. Darrell Hammond is the talented impressionist who was featured on Saturday Night Live for 14 seasons and is best known for his take on Bill Clinton (although I'm partial to his Al Gore and Donald Trump impressions). Mr. Hammond is brutally honest and pulls no punches in discussing his decades-long struggle with severe mental illness and substance abuse. His descriptions of self-mu ...more
Apr 24, 2016 Patti rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Eventually, the only major book deals out there will be given to celebrities and people with built-in "platforms" (e.g. people whose books will sell regardless of the quality, thus earning the publisher back the money it spent on the advance). Then we will all be left reading books like this.

It wasn't that this book was bad, it's just that it was not necessary. This is a multimillionaire talking about how he is a victim, the world owes him something cuz he's here, and his life sucks. Oh, I'm so
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“It can't have been fun to live with somebody whose brain was under siege.” 2 likes
“My brilliant psychiatrist Dr. K. had told me that the only way to move on from trauma is forgiveness, giving up the right to hit back harder than you were hit in the first place.” 1 likes
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