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Going Gray : What I Learned About Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood
by
Anne Kreamer
Anne Kreamer considered herself a youthful 49 until a photo of herself with her teenage daughter stopped her in her tracks. In one unguarded moment she saw herself for what she really was -- a middle-aged woman with her hair dyed much too harshly. In that one moment Kreamer realized that she wasn't fooling anyone about her age and decided it was time to get real and embrac...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published
September 10th 2007
by Little Brown and Company
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Disappointing.
The author was interviewed by Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM earlier in the year, and it sounded like a fascinating book. But the interview turned out to have been far more interesting than the book. Kreamer's context is so far removed from my own (she randomly ends up at dinner parties with Anna Devere-Smith, for example), and as my mother pointed out to me, she's also from a distinctly different generation, one that grew up adhering to general expectations on heml...more
The author was interviewed by Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM earlier in the year, and it sounded like a fascinating book. But the interview turned out to have been far more interesting than the book. Kreamer's context is so far removed from my own (she randomly ends up at dinner parties with Anna Devere-Smith, for example), and as my mother pointed out to me, she's also from a distinctly different generation, one that grew up adhering to general expectations on heml...more
This book is a research paper covering every possible angle of graying. I found it completely mind boggling that Anne had figured out that she had spent upwards of $65,000 dying her hair over the years. Cost has been the biggest reason that I haven't highlighted mine for the past year and half. When things got tight it was one of the first things to go. But even before I read this book I was watching several people around me who are very blond (colored) and I decided I didn't ever want to lo...more
As a youthful gray-haired lady, I was hopeful that this book would completely rock my world. The author seems interesting, her hair looks great, and she's married to Kurt Andersen. Anyway, read the whole thing while laid up in be with a bad ear infection, but I felt the same way about it that I felt about ELizabeth Gilbert's new one--Marriage: whatever the subtitle is--which is there is a particular kind of self-absorbed navel gazing that seems to be passing as memoir these days. Obviously, thi...more
This was a Kindle freebie and I almost didn't pick it up because honestly -- how much MORE narcissistic can you get than writing an entire book about your hair-color? I ended up rather liking it, though.
Kreamer did a lot of research about perceptions of gray on omen (and men). I was rather surprised that it wasn't a romantic drawback, but WAS one in the workplace. I suspect that's a reflection of the kinds of people she knows and the kinds of (glamorous, media-oriented) jobs that the...more
Kreamer did a lot of research about perceptions of gray on omen (and men). I was rather surprised that it wasn't a romantic drawback, but WAS one in the workplace. I suspect that's a reflection of the kinds of people she knows and the kinds of (glamorous, media-oriented) jobs that the...more
The thing I liked best about this very good book, which reads as a super long and interesting article, was that it really begins a dialogue, about what gray hair has come to symbolize at this point in time, and what it means to make the choice to age authentically. Lots of food for thought.
Apparently Kreamer is married to a famous writer, but she doesn't mention this in the book, while doing lots of confusing name dropping. Like, I'm confused about why she is at a party with Anna Dev...more
Apparently Kreamer is married to a famous writer, but she doesn't mention this in the book, while doing lots of confusing name dropping. Like, I'm confused about why she is at a party with Anna Dev...more
I thought this was an interesting book. It caught my eye at the library, and so of course, I had to read it. I'm only 28, so of course when I color my hair it is not to cover up gray, it's for fun, but it really made me think about the cost of trying to look younger. Cost in time and money. The author estimated that in her life, she'd spent $65,000 on hair color (touch ups every three weeks, once you are gray trying not to be!) in her lifetime. Crazy. That would pay for an awesome educatio...more
I really enjoyed this book. Anne Kreamer makes a decision to stop dyeing her hair and to show her natural gray for the first time. She describes her ambivalence about this act and explores our culture's ideas about beauty and aging. If you don't feel some angst about your appearance and/or you live in a subculture where the appearance of a gray-haired woman does not seem "unnatural," then this book is not for you, and you will likely find it highly superfluous. However, I agree with Kr...more
This book was full of wisdom for middle-aged women (and men!) transitioning into their fifties. When Kreamer, a former exec of Nickelodeon decides to let her hair go gray at 49, she realizes that it isn't all about the hair, but rather what gray hair represents-- embracing her authentic 'older' self. In the process of interviewing people from all walks of life, she discovers more about the psychological aspects of aging and vanity than ever expected. It's hard to believe a book about letting ...more
Kreamer writes an entire book about her decision at age 50 to stop coloring her hair and let it go gray. At times I wondered why this was a book-length work when an essay would probably cover most salient points. At times I wondered how I could read so much about appearances. However, when I allowed myself, I recognized that hair color does function as a strong signifier in society.
It's an annoying FACT that appearances to make a difference in our relationships with work, family,...more
It's an annoying FACT that appearances to make a difference in our relationships with work, family,...more
This was a relatively entertaining read about what it means for a woman to "go gray" in today's society. I was interested in reading it primarily because I started going grey at a fairly early age and am now fully grey, and have observed the trials and tribulations of women and the haircolor issue. I had a telling experience this past summer when a casual acquaintance who I had last seen over a year previous said, "Oh my god, your hair!" and had trouble dropping the subjec...more
I think I'm just not the target audience for this book. I picked it because I'm having a personal mini-crisis trying to decide if I should stop dying my hair. She writes in a conversational and easy going style that I enjoyed reading. But at an early-grayer, most of the book isn't relevant to me. She talks a lot about age-appropriateness and authenticity but doesn't really cover the situation where gray hair isn't age appropriate. She does mention this in the case of men, but not women (and i...more
Antof9
rated it
The thing about this book is that like much nonfiction, the first half was interesting. It's where the author laid out her own story, thoughts, assumptions, etc., and basically laid out why she was writing this book (yeah, I'm sort of rolling my eyes at that, too). In the second half -- again like much nonfiction -- she reiterates what she said in the first half, and then walks through the surveys and interviews and research she did to support what she said in the first half. Unfortunately fo...more
I expected a memoir of sorts about Kreamer's decision to go gray, and how her interactions with people and the world around her changed (or didn't change). I got about a chapter of that.
The rest of the book was more Kreamer looking at various studies, conducting some studies of her own, interviewing actresses and performers about their decisions to go gray or not go gray, interviewing corporate recruiters about whether they thought gray hair was a disadvantage in the workplace, inter...more
The rest of the book was more Kreamer looking at various studies, conducting some studies of her own, interviewing actresses and performers about their decisions to go gray or not go gray, interviewing corporate recruiters about whether they thought gray hair was a disadvantage in the workplace, inter...more
Meh. I thought this would be more about understanding our society's obsession with looking young and maybe an analysis of how society has viewed gray haired women in different time periods. It kind of starts off that way. Then it veers into a very odd area. The author does crazy experiments like posting two pictures of herself on Match.com--one with brown hair and the other with gray--to measure the response rate. She also tests her new gray-haired look by going out to bars to pick up men. I fou...more
I found my first legitimate gray hair a few weeks ago (I was excited, made me feel like a grown up) so this seemed like a good time to consider the question: to dye or not to dye?
And I read this book in one day! Started this morning and just finished, so that says something good, right? She has a conversational voice so reading this felt like hanging out with a friend. She made me feel strongly that I don't want to dye my grays, but we'll see if that holds up as they multiply.
...more
And I read this book in one day! Started this morning and just finished, so that says something good, right? She has a conversational voice so reading this felt like hanging out with a friend. She made me feel strongly that I don't want to dye my grays, but we'll see if that holds up as they multiply.
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This is an interesting book for "women of a certain age" or anyone who colors her hair. The author decides when she is about 50, after decades of coloring her hair (and spending enough to finance her two children's college educations doing it)to let herself go naturally gray. She explores the implications of this (and they are much farther reaching that you might think) with her family, friends, and colleagues, and does some social scientific research to see how the status of eminence ...more
I enjoyed this book even though at times I felt that the author used unscrupulous methods to retrieve her own information; maybe I am just old-fashioned and it is ok to join a matchmaker online club and lie about your marital status or seek out a job coach when not really seeking out a job, to name a few of her methods for retrieving information; however, I can see the merit in getting "real" data for her book as opposed to relying only on some one else's facts and opinion polls.
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Enjoyed reading this book, which was a cheap read on Kobo. I know that I would not have bought this in hard copy (which is one of the reasons I like the Kobo). I am prime target market I would guess - 50 and in a constant debate as to whether to let life happen (keep the grey and encourage it) or strive to hold on to the younger me and dye or in some way colour my hair.
I found some of the studies quite illuminating and enjoyed sharing them with my sister who has just decided to let natur...more
I found some of the studies quite illuminating and enjoyed sharing them with my sister who has just decided to let natur...more
In spite of her secular take on the whole subject, I found her research interesting and her perspectives about "authenticity" worthwhile. Though I happen to be a bona fide baby boomer (born in '58), I have no intention of attempting to look 18 or even 35 forever. My desire is to age graciously to the glory of God. I think she takes some helpful strides in that direction. A very light read, but entertaining and thought provoking in regard to our youth-obsessed culture. (I wouldn't ...more
As someone who faithfully colors the gray starting to pepper her dark hair but is getting tired of the upkeep, I was predisposed to like Kreamer's essays (for that's what this is, a collection of personal essays, as her "research" wouldn't pass muster by any scientific measures).
However, as a Los Angeleno, I quickly grew tired of her dismissive slams against the Left Coast. Los Angeles does not equal Hollywood and vice versa, and vain, obnoxious media execs are just as pre...more
However, as a Los Angeleno, I quickly grew tired of her dismissive slams against the Left Coast. Los Angeles does not equal Hollywood and vice versa, and vain, obnoxious media execs are just as pre...more
I mostly really liked this book but some parts I just kind of liked. There was lots of repetition but the message was a good one so I didn't get too frustrated. Overall, there were so many truths about women but I think, deep down, we really know that half of the stresses we feel are self imposed, right? While many topics relating to beauty and age were addressed in this story - the main one was clearly hair color. I'm 31 and while I'm not "going gray" just yet - there are a quite a fe...more
This was even more interesting than I thought it would be. It's extremely intelligently written, well researched, straightforward. The author is not a crazed fanatic about "going gray." She does just what her subtitle indicates: she tells you what she learned about different aspects of life associated with not dyeing one's hair. I love it as a response to our youth-crazed culture and as a response to the idea that if you let yourself age naturally, then you are "letting yours...more
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Anne-Marie Connolly
added it
I first came across Kreamer's idea when her essay was published in a magazine. I downloaded the book when it was offered as a Kindle freebie (now $1.99). Interesting account of her experience and research when deciding to stop coloring her hair. Did it make me want to do the same? Maybe just a little bit. But I'm not that brave -- yet. Maybe when I turn 50, like she did. Her research definitely contradicts commonly-held ideas like gray hair making one less datable (she claims it doesn't),...more
I am 27 and have been going gray since I was 22! I color my hair so I was interested in seeing what the author had to say. There are lots of great insights and the findings of her research experiments were amusing and interesting. While I dont think Im ready to stop dying my hair just yet the author made me aware that there is a point that I should be on the lookout for where coloring ages instead of gives the allusions of youth.
Interesting. I never knew so many people were going gray at such a young age. I changed my rating from 3 stars to 4 because I have been thinking about this book alot so I think it deserves 4 stars if my mind keeps turning back to it. In addition, it has made me want to stop coloring/highlighting my hair. As a young child I was blond, as a teenager I was a dark blond and now I feel my roots are just dark and yuck. However, I am going to embrace my true hair color (try anyway) ....so if you s...more
This is not only an amusing and insightful book it also plunges into our culture and norms for women. I enjoyed reading it and was inspired to "grow out" my color for oh... maybe a couple of months before caving in. Interestingly, people (other women) came up to me and tried to talk me out of it!!! The men in my life had no opinions (maybe because they are smart?)haha...
An intriguing examination of aging "authentically" in youth-obsessed America.
As someone who began to go gray before I turned thirty (and have never dyed my hair) I was heartened to learn that the author's luck on Match.com improved when she posted a photo of her gray-haired self. Her observations on cosmetic surgery and on men who color their hair were also very interesting, as was her experience with an image consultant who advised her to change the colors and textures of...more
As someone who began to go gray before I turned thirty (and have never dyed my hair) I was heartened to learn that the author's luck on Match.com improved when she posted a photo of her gray-haired self. Her observations on cosmetic surgery and on men who color their hair were also very interesting, as was her experience with an image consultant who advised her to change the colors and textures of...more
Loved it! Won't be applicable if you're under 40 - but ALL hairdressers should have to read it!!! Loved the insight, the history of the social constructs of beauty in our world, and mostly the upfront honesty ofn he author and all her friends (especially those appalled at the idea of allowing themselves to go gray).
I do not color my hair so I knew I would like this book! This was a very interesting study about aging vs. youth and authenticity vs. deception. Some surprises were that a woman with gray hair can still be viewed as sexually attractive to men according to the authors research. It was no surprise that gray hair was detrimental to getting hired in most fields. I was surprised to learn that the botoxed and hair colored TV celebrity looks are viewed as looking "old" by this generation ...more
I am tempted to stop coloring my hair and wanted to research it first!
This book made me feel more confident to be my authentic self. I haven't colored for a few months. I have a box in my bathroom that still tempts me on days. We shall see.
This book made me feel more confident to be my authentic self. I haven't colored for a few months. I have a box in my bathroom that still tempts me on days. We shall see.
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