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Going Gray : What I Learned About Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood
by
Anne Kreamer
Anne Kreamer considered herself a youthful 49 until a photo of herself with her teenage daughter stopped her in her tracks. In one unguarded moment she saw herself for what she really was -- a middle-aged woman with her hair dyed much too harshly. In that one moment Kreamer realized that she wasn't fooling anyone about her age and decided it was time to get real and embrac...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published
September 10th 2007
by Little Brown and Company
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Going Gray : What I Learned About Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood by Anne Kreamer is an easy read on a seemingly light-weight subject-but one that I find intensely interesting (as I suspect many women do)-hair. The book is also concerned with a more obviously serious subject, aging. Although neither subject is handled in a deeply philosophical way, I found the points made fascinating and personally relevant.
At 49, Anne Kreamer has had (several) successful careers as well as a happy marriage and a...more
At 49, Anne Kreamer has had (several) successful careers as well as a happy marriage and a...more
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Disappointing.
The author was interviewed by Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM earlier in the year, and it sounded like a fascinating book. But the interview turned out to have been far more interesting than the book. Kreamer's context is so far removed from my own (she randomly ends up at dinner parties with Anna Devere-Smith, for example), and as my mother pointed out to me, she's also from a distinctly different generation, one that grew up adhering to general expectations on hemlines and the...more
The author was interviewed by Margaret Throsby on ABC Classic FM earlier in the year, and it sounded like a fascinating book. But the interview turned out to have been far more interesting than the book. Kreamer's context is so far removed from my own (she randomly ends up at dinner parties with Anna Devere-Smith, for example), and as my mother pointed out to me, she's also from a distinctly different generation, one that grew up adhering to general expectations on hemlines and the...more
Apr 12, 2008
Melissa
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
women that don't need to follow the crowd
This book is a research paper covering every possible angle of graying. I found it completely mind boggling that Anne had figured out that she had spent upwards of $65,000 dying her hair over the years. Cost has been the biggest reason that I haven't highlighted mine for the past year and half. When things got tight it was one of the first things to go. But even before I read this book I was watching several people around me who are very blond (colored) and I decided I didn't ever want to look l...more
Aug 06, 2012
Jodi
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Women above the age of 35
Recommended to Jodi by:
Jorene Ring
We chose this as a book club selection because some of us are facing 40 and beginning to see some gray hairs and other signs of aging. I know a few of us in the group enhance our hair color, another doesn't think she will when the time comes, and others have yet to comment. This book should make for a good discussion.
Interesting quotes to me:
p. 10 "Hair color was something I could control easily, definitively - managing the color of my hair was my equivalent to taking Paxil. I discovered that wh...more
Interesting quotes to me:
p. 10 "Hair color was something I could control easily, definitively - managing the color of my hair was my equivalent to taking Paxil. I discovered that wh...more
As a youthful gray-haired lady, I was hopeful that this book would completely rock my world. The author seems interesting, her hair looks great, and she's married to Kurt Andersen. Anyway, read the whole thing while laid up in be with a bad ear infection, but I felt the same way about it that I felt about ELizabeth Gilbert's new one--Marriage: whatever the subtitle is--which is there is a particular kind of self-absorbed navel gazing that seems to be passing as memoir these days. Obviously, this...more
This was a Kindle freebie and I almost didn't pick it up because honestly -- how much MORE narcissistic can you get than writing an entire book about your hair-color? I ended up rather liking it, though.
Kreamer did a lot of research about perceptions of gray on omen (and men). I was rather surprised that it wasn't a romantic drawback, but WAS one in the workplace. I suspect that's a reflection of the kinds of people she knows and the kinds of (glamorous, media-oriented) jobs that they have. She...more
Kreamer did a lot of research about perceptions of gray on omen (and men). I was rather surprised that it wasn't a romantic drawback, but WAS one in the workplace. I suspect that's a reflection of the kinds of people she knows and the kinds of (glamorous, media-oriented) jobs that they have. She...more
The thing I liked best about this very good book, which reads as a super long and interesting article, was that it really begins a dialogue, about what gray hair has come to symbolize at this point in time, and what it means to make the choice to age authentically. Lots of food for thought.
Apparently Kreamer is married to a famous writer, but she doesn't mention this in the book, while doing lots of confusing name dropping. Like, I'm confused about why she is at a party with Anna Deveare Smith,...more
Apparently Kreamer is married to a famous writer, but she doesn't mention this in the book, while doing lots of confusing name dropping. Like, I'm confused about why she is at a party with Anna Deveare Smith,...more
I thought this was an interesting book. It caught my eye at the library, and so of course, I had to read it. I'm only 28, so of course when I color my hair it is not to cover up gray, it's for fun, but it really made me think about the cost of trying to look younger. Cost in time and money. The author estimated that in her life, she'd spent $65,000 on hair color (touch ups every three weeks, once you are gray trying not to be!) in her lifetime. Crazy. That would pay for an awesome education. Als...more
I purchased Anne Kreamer’s book Going Gray, because I couldn’t believe that going gray was worth an entire book. In my transition from dyed hair to natural silver, I wrote a couple of fun posts, but a whole book? I was intrigued.
The sub-title was the clincher for me: How To Embrace Your Authentic Self With Grace And Style. Authenticity, grace, and style. Key words in the Silver & Grace philosophy.
Boy, am I glad I purchased this book! It is a funny and honest account of the psychological and...more
The sub-title was the clincher for me: How To Embrace Your Authentic Self With Grace And Style. Authenticity, grace, and style. Key words in the Silver & Grace philosophy.
Boy, am I glad I purchased this book! It is a funny and honest account of the psychological and...more
I really enjoyed this book. Anne Kreamer makes a decision to stop dyeing her hair and to show her natural gray for the first time. She describes her ambivalence about this act and explores our culture's ideas about beauty and aging. If you don't feel some angst about your appearance and/or you live in a subculture where the appearance of a gray-haired woman does not seem "unnatural," then this book is not for you, and you will likely find it highly superfluous. However, I agree with Kreamer that...more
This book was full of wisdom for middle-aged women (and men!) transitioning into their fifties. When Kreamer, a former exec of Nickelodeon decides to let her hair go gray at 49, she realizes that it isn't all about the hair, but rather what gray hair represents-- embracing her authentic 'older' self. In the process of interviewing people from all walks of life, she discovers more about the psychological aspects of aging and vanity than ever expected. It's hard to believe a book about letting you...more
Kreamer writes an entire book about her decision at age 50 to stop coloring her hair and let it go gray. At times I wondered why this was a book-length work when an essay would probably cover most salient points. At times I wondered how I could read so much about appearances. However, when I allowed myself, I recognized that hair color does function as a strong signifier in society.
It's an annoying FACT that appearances to make a difference in our relationships with work, family, romance, frien...more
It's an annoying FACT that appearances to make a difference in our relationships with work, family, romance, frien...more
This was a relatively entertaining read about what it means for a woman to "go gray" in today's society. I was interested in reading it primarily because I started going grey at a fairly early age and am now fully grey, and have observed the trials and tribulations of women and the haircolor issue. I had a telling experience this past summer when a casual acquaintance who I had last seen over a year previous said, "Oh my god, your hair!" and had trouble dropping the subject. That, in combination...more
I think I'm just not the target audience for this book. I picked it because I'm having a personal mini-crisis trying to decide if I should stop dying my hair. She writes in a conversational and easy going style that I enjoyed reading. But at an early-grayer, most of the book isn't relevant to me. She talks a lot about age-appropriateness and authenticity but doesn't really cover the situation where gray hair isn't age appropriate. She does mention this in the case of men, but not women (and in d...more
The thing about this book is that like much nonfiction, the first half was interesting. It's where the author laid out her own story, thoughts, assumptions, etc., and basically laid out why she was writing this book (yeah, I'm sort of rolling my eyes at that, too). In the second half -- again like much nonfiction -- she reiterates what she said in the first half, and then walks through the surveys and interviews and research she did to support what she said in the first half. Unfortunately for m...more
Feb 11, 2009
Christina
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Women
Recommended to Christina by:
TIME
I expected a memoir of sorts about Kreamer's decision to go gray, and how her interactions with people and the world around her changed (or didn't change). I got about a chapter of that.
The rest of the book was more Kreamer looking at various studies, conducting some studies of her own, interviewing actresses and performers about their decisions to go gray or not go gray, interviewing corporate recruiters about whether they thought gray hair was a disadvantage in the workplace, interviewing imag...more
The rest of the book was more Kreamer looking at various studies, conducting some studies of her own, interviewing actresses and performers about their decisions to go gray or not go gray, interviewing corporate recruiters about whether they thought gray hair was a disadvantage in the workplace, interviewing imag...more
Meh. I thought this would be more about understanding our society's obsession with looking young and maybe an analysis of how society has viewed gray haired women in different time periods. It kind of starts off that way. Then it veers into a very odd area. The author does crazy experiments like posting two pictures of herself on Match.com--one with brown hair and the other with gray--to measure the response rate. She also tests her new gray-haired look by going out to bars to pick up men. I fou...more
I enjoyed this book quite a bit. This woman's journey helped me reflect on my own; although my experiences were often different from hers. I sometimes found it difficult to describe why I felt compelled to quit dying my hair when others questioned my motives. This book helped me define what the key issues were for me. I want to look my age and not give in to societal pressure to look young. I want to enjoy and explore each stage of my life. I want to face the realities of aging and accept them....more
As a "woman of a certain age" who recently has chosen to go gray, I found this book very interesting. I felt much of the same emotions that Kreamer speaks of, and found it encouraging. I did find her experiments, surveys, and research to be more anecdotal than scientific.
I suppose if you are going to write an entire book about the subject you probably do have to go down the path of online dating, life/style coaches, etc., but I found all of that less relevant than the author's own journey and f...more
I suppose if you are going to write an entire book about the subject you probably do have to go down the path of online dating, life/style coaches, etc., but I found all of that less relevant than the author's own journey and f...more
I found my first legitimate gray hair a few weeks ago (I was excited, made me feel like a grown up) so this seemed like a good time to consider the question: to dye or not to dye?
And I read this book in one day! Started this morning and just finished, so that says something good, right? She has a conversational voice so reading this felt like hanging out with a friend. She made me feel strongly that I don't want to dye my grays, but we'll see if that holds up as they multiply.
I love her theme of...more
And I read this book in one day! Started this morning and just finished, so that says something good, right? She has a conversational voice so reading this felt like hanging out with a friend. She made me feel strongly that I don't want to dye my grays, but we'll see if that holds up as they multiply.
I love her theme of...more
This is an interesting book for "women of a certain age" or anyone who colors her hair. The author decides when she is about 50, after decades of coloring her hair (and spending enough to finance her two children's college educations doing it)to let herself go naturally gray. She explores the implications of this (and they are much farther reaching that you might think) with her family, friends, and colleagues, and does some social scientific research to see how the status of eminence grise affe...more
I enjoyed this book even though at times I felt that the author used unscrupulous methods to retrieve her own information; maybe I am just old-fashioned and it is ok to join a matchmaker online club and lie about your marital status or seek out a job coach when not really seeking out a job, to name a few of her methods for retrieving information; however, I can see the merit in getting "real" data for her book as opposed to relying only on some one else's facts and opinion polls.
In the end, from...more
In the end, from...more
Enjoyed reading this book, which was a cheap read on Kobo. I know that I would not have bought this in hard copy (which is one of the reasons I like the Kobo). I am prime target market I would guess - 50 and in a constant debate as to whether to let life happen (keep the grey and encourage it) or strive to hold on to the younger me and dye or in some way colour my hair.
I found some of the studies quite illuminating and enjoyed sharing them with my sister who has just decided to let nature takes...more
I found some of the studies quite illuminating and enjoyed sharing them with my sister who has just decided to let nature takes...more
This book was mostly good. I really appreciated her angst over the decision to go gray as I have struggled with it espically at age 41 when I decided to start coloring.
She had a lot of feelings and qualms that I had - I do not want to look like my grandmother! She was worried about still being attractive with gray/white hair, still being accepted in the workplace and by men.
She delves into the double standard as well - no one thinks George Clooney looks dowdy!
I think she is 100% right in her v...more
She had a lot of feelings and qualms that I had - I do not want to look like my grandmother! She was worried about still being attractive with gray/white hair, still being accepted in the workplace and by men.
She delves into the double standard as well - no one thinks George Clooney looks dowdy!
I think she is 100% right in her v...more
In spite of her secular take on the whole subject, I found her research interesting and her perspectives about "authenticity" worthwhile. Though I happen to be a bona fide baby boomer (born in '58), I have no intention of attempting to look 18 or even 35 forever. My desire is to age graciously to the glory of God. I think she takes some helpful strides in that direction. A very light read, but entertaining and thought provoking in regard to our youth-obsessed culture. (I wouldn't buy the book, b...more
I liked the topic of the book. I have a good bit of gray hair in my 30s, and I'm just letting it go. Now, my hair is lighter so it isn't as obvious but still. I never would've thought I'd be okay with aging, but I am. I try to be like the French - just be confident in who you are and you will still be attractive. Disclaimer: I am someone who went hippie and didn't shave or pluck at all, and that's when I got my first boyfriend. I enjoy being myself, which usually means I am different.(FYI - Her...more
As someone who faithfully colors the gray starting to pepper her dark hair but is getting tired of the upkeep, I was predisposed to like Kreamer's essays (for that's what this is, a collection of personal essays, as her "research" wouldn't pass muster by any scientific measures).
However, as a Los Angeleno, I quickly grew tired of her dismissive slams against the Left Coast. Los Angeles does not equal Hollywood and vice versa, and vain, obnoxious media execs are just as prevalent in the Big Apple...more
However, as a Los Angeleno, I quickly grew tired of her dismissive slams against the Left Coast. Los Angeles does not equal Hollywood and vice versa, and vain, obnoxious media execs are just as prevalent in the Big Apple...more
I mostly really liked this book but some parts I just kind of liked. There was lots of repetition but the message was a good one so I didn't get too frustrated. Overall, there were so many truths about women but I think, deep down, we really know that half of the stresses we feel are self imposed, right? While many topics relating to beauty and age were addressed in this story - the main one was clearly hair color. I'm 31 and while I'm not "going gray" just yet - there are a quite a few hairs at...more
This was even more interesting than I thought it would be. It's extremely intelligently written, well researched, straightforward. The author is not a crazed fanatic about "going gray." She does just what her subtitle indicates: she tells you what she learned about different aspects of life associated with not dyeing one's hair. I love it as a response to our youth-crazed culture and as a response to the idea that if you let yourself age naturally, then you are "letting yourself go." I recently...more
2 likes · like · see review
Mostly covering Beauty and Work, Anne Kreamers book is never the less an interesting read on the act of "going gray", or making the choice to stop coloring ones hair. There are social pressures surrounding this decision and Anne discusses them at length. The most interesting thing I learned from this book though was the fact that most actresses in movies are wearing wigs, making it impossible for one to really replicate their style. So that’s why their hair is always perfect.
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