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You'll Be Sorry When I'm Dead

3.58 of 5 stars 3.58 · rating details · 556 ratings · 95 reviews

From childhood dreams of prostitution to her unabashed passion for heavy drinking, from growing up wide-eyed on the set of Australian soaps to her infatuation with Bob Ellis, these are the outrageously entertaining and deeply revealing reminiscences of a multimedia star.

From stalking and eventually meeting her Young Talent Time idol when she was twelve, to a particularly a...more

Mass Market Paperback, 304 pages

Published September 2011 by Allen & Unwin (first published August 24th 2011)

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Mar 05, 2012 ALPHAreader rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

 Marieke Hardy, My Grandma & Me 
... a review

 Marieke Hardy, My Grandma & Me 
... a review

Marieke Hardy comes from a famous family. Her grandfather was Australian communist writer of ‘Power Without Glory’, Frank Hardy. She is the grandniece of comedian Mary Hardy. Both of her parents were writers, producers and editors on many iconic television shows. Marieke Hardy was also a child actor – appearing in ‘Neighbours’ and ‘The Henderson Kids’. Later in life she became a television writer and co-creator. She has also been a radio host, frequent blogger, political commentator, columnist and book reviewer.

My obsession with Marieke Hardy started in 2007 when I first subscribed to the bi-monthly magazine of Australian hipster darlings, Frankie. I read a wonderful article of hers, titled ‘i'm sorry mum’ in which she lamented her rebellious youth and the impact it had on her relationship with her mother; concluding the article with a heartfelt apology and thanking her for having Zen-like patience. It was funnily ribald, concluding on a sweet note of honesty. I cut the article out and stuck it into a sketch-pad.

One day in 2008 I went to visit my grandmother and found her cackling over The Age Greenguide lift-out. Now, to put this into context; my grandmother is Austrian, and when the war started she became a nurse and later joined the people’s land army. She does not guffaw easily. So to see and hear her chortling over the TV guide caused me to raise my eyebrows. As it turned out, my grandma was laughing at the weekly opinion piece ‘Back Chat’, written by Marieke Hardy, in which she either bemoaned reality TV or gushed about her new favourite show or crumpet journo crush. My grandma admitted that she religiously read Marieke Hardy, and delighted in watching her be as funny on TV as she is in print, on the monthly show ‘First Tuesday Book Club’.

Thus, my grandmother and I had something in common: Marieke Hardy. And my sketch-pad started to grow as the ‘Back Chat’ articles were also ripped and stuck inside, along with her ‘Frankie’ gems.

I also went back and revisited the TV show Hardy wrote for, ‘Last Man Standing’, about three Melbournian bachelors living and loving in my hometown (so blokey good it’s a crime the show only ever saw one season!). And I was ridiculously thrilled when her new show ‘Laid’ got rave reviews. I bought the first season on DVD and constantly quote it randomly to friends (“It makes me want to live up a tree.”) Now I stalk her twitter feed for hints about Season 2, which is currently filming.

So when it was announced that Marieke Hardy had signed a multiple-book contract with Allen & Unwin, my grandmother and I were filled to the brim with unmitigated glee. And when an advance copy of ‘You’ll Be Sorry When I’m Dead’ arrived in my hot little hand – I was freakin apoplectic!

Marieke Hardy has left pieces of her soul scattered around Melbourne and the outer suburbs. Her childhood is imbedded in Whitten Oval, West Footscray. Flakes of her talent are scattered on the set and green rooms of Ramsay Street, Erinsborough. The Tote hotel in Collingwood was the final resting place of her hedonistic ‘bubble’ friendship group. A good portion of her heart seems happy to reside in a thin-willed Brunswick apartment. And her naked, painted backside even lives upon the wall of a bar in High Street. In ‘You’ll be Sorry When I’m Dead’ Hardy meticulously gathers these pieces, dissecting and lamenting some, proud as punch of others as she lays out the scattered ends for reader’s perusal and her future prosperity.

Hardy swings like a pendulum – between vulgar and witty, ironic and honest, superficial and then brazenly bare. Like her story about football. The ‘Maroon and Blue’ short begins harmlessly enough, as Hardy explains Victoria’s footy-obsession and her family’s loyalty to the Fitzroy Football Club. She talks about baking chocolate cakes for the footy players, crushing on number 24 and the family ritual of watching and dissecting the game. All fairly blasé stuff, the likes of which would appear in any Melbourne-based memoir worth its salt. But then Hardy unfurls. She reads between her own lines and makes something more and meaningful of the story. In this case, she talks about her rampaging teen years when following the footy was mortifying and she distanced herself from both her parents, and the game. Until, that is, the Fitzroy Football Club was disbanded and left for dead. They played their last match in 1996, and Hardy (then 20) flew interstate to watch the end of an era with her mother; realizing while she sat in the stands that this moment marked the end of something more than just a footy club;

I watched the team shuffle down the race into the rooms, heads lowered, full of shame and disappointment and a dark, confusing grief.
My childhood shuffled off with them. My family rituals shuffled off with them. When they had all left the ground, trainers trudging behind, I heard something click shut in my heart.
At that moment I felt my mother reach across and take my hand.

On the surface, ‘You’ll Be Sorry When I’m Dead’ is simply a collection of very funny stories by a very funny lady who seems to have been designated Melbourne’s pin-up girl. But it’s not until the short story ‘YTT’ that I really started to guess at another purpose of the book. ‘YTT’ is the story of Hardy’s obsession with a Young Talent Time heartthrob, Joey Dee, and how she once met him face-to-face with all the ensuing disaster of a pubescent girl meeting her pubescent idol. This story is triggered by an old friend of Hardy’s asking her to fill in the blanks of a long-ago childhood rift . . . something nearly impossible for Hardy to accomplish, since her mind is gin-soaked and stuttering, increasingly falling into a static ether of forgetfulness. Hardy hilariously explains (with pin-point accuracy) the fear/funny of literally losing her mind. And it was at this point that I decided the book was a sort of touchstone for Hardy. Like Leonard Shelby in ‘Memento’, writing notes to himself so he doesn’t inevitably forget.

The doors of my memory are closing in the most terrifying of ways, slamming shut with the clanging finality behind me like the credits of Get Smart. There are gaping holes where there should be anecdotes and pain and remorse. The lines between truth and fiction are so smeared I sometimes can’t remember if I was actually friends with the Goonies or whether they were just characters in a movie.

Apart from being very funny, Hardy is also audaciously honest (always good in a memoir/autobiography). But her honesty stretches beyond self-reflection and confession. The book includes e-mail exchanges with the people she (sometimes viciously) writes about. An old boyfriend corresponds with her after reading the short story about their prostitute-riddled relationship – an interesting e-mail in which he despairs the seeming lack of love she had for him, and is bewildered by her confession of his purely bad-boy appeal. An old friend carrying an old hurt responds to Marieke’s confessional story about the demise of their friendship – and it’s both awkward for being so relatable, while also brimming with surprising hope for social networking.

And of course the final story is all about Bob Ellis. This little quirk of Marieke Hardy’s is well-documented and met with scepticism and hopes of irony. She is obsessed with the Australian writer, journalist, film-maker and political commentator, Bob Ellis. He is a rotund and sweating man, visceral and mean. But he writes bloody brilliantly, as Hardy reiterates, and has even commemorated with a tattoo. She talks about their dancing around each other and eventually becoming sort-of friends and associates, explaining her deep loyalty and admiration for the man and the ramifications this love has had on her dog. And then, not surprisingly, she talks about her idol wobbling atop his pedestal.

But throughout this final story I couldn’t help but think of Marieke Hardy as being my Bob Ellis. Hardy has tucked pieces of Ellis’s writing away and emblazoned his sentences; I have two sketch pads filled with Marieke Hardy’s words and witticisms, and a twitter follow to show my devotion to her thoughts. There are little snatches of paragraphs and lines of poignancy throughout ‘You’ll Be Sorry’ which I will tuck away and keep for myself;

We would have babies and get fat and quit drinking and not spend every waking moment together. We would turn up to events for which we had accepted invitations without texting absurd excuses. We had grown up.
It was an essential part of letting go, deciding which ribbons of the past we wanted to tie around our fingers and which were best left on the maypole.
I could weep for the unfairness of it all now. For the necessity in closing the door on the travelling salesman of youth. I could weep with such fondness for us all.

Marieke Hardy is one demoness of a writer and a rapscallion memoirist. I have two sketch pads full of ‘Frankie’ articles and ‘Back Chat’ pieces that prove I love anything she writes . . . but I wasn’t prepared for how much I would enjoy ‘You’ll Be Sorry When I’m Dead’. I made a giggling nuisance of myself on the train and tram while reading this. No doubt I’ll attempt to shove it down my friend’s throats and hound them with requests for reading updates (“have you read this bit yet?” or “are you up to the part where___?”) . . . but first, I think, I’ll pass the book onto my grandmother and happily anticipate the delighted guffaws to come.(less)

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Jan 01, 2012 Readingjay rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian-woman-writer, biography, 2011, australian

After 24 hours I am still puzzling about this book. Yes, it is honest, but so much so that at times I felt like a voyeur. Is it a confessional, or is it pure exhibitionism? There are plenty of funny moments and a number of poignant ones too - the chapter about her friend's cancer is brave and honest and, yes, even funny in places.

I like Marieke Hardy's contributions on First Tuesday Book Club, but she does seem to have constructed herself, particularly her 'Betty Boop intellectual' appearance....more

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Apr 26, 2012 Sue rated it 4 of 5 stars

The title of this novel resonated with me, having heard it all too often by my own mother when I was being coerced into doing something she wanted me to do. Marieke Hardy, never afraid to be the lone voice in the wilderness, reflects in her memoir on key experiences in her life, all recounted with a liberal dash of humour.

From her decision at the age of eleven to become a prostitute when she grew up, to stalking her Young Talent idol and obsession with Bob Ellis, Marieke weaves the rich tapestry...more

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Dec 30, 2011 Katura rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

A lot was made of this book's "upfront honesty" and it's true that Hardy bravely divulges details of her life that many would probably edit out. Her encounters with prostitutes, an evening at a swingers' party and vague yet frequent tales of debauched nights with close friends are all told here, often with wit. That's all well and good for a while, but it's not really the kind of honesty that makes a book truly interesting. After the first chapter about prostitution, Hardy prints a letter from h...more

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Aug 02, 2012 Rich Gamble rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian

I used to wake up to Marieke on JJJ and found her to be rather condescending and out of touch with the audience although she is great on 1st Tues Book Club. I enjoyed some parts of this but it’s a very inconsistent read & feels like the kind of book the author herself wouldn't enjoy if written by someone else. My negative reaction to this book can be summarised in the following points
- Bukowski is enjoyable but there is nothing more cringe-worthy than reading another writer gush about him –...more

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Apr 05, 2013 Anne rated it 3 of 5 stars

The title totally intrigued me, add to that the copy I have is signed with a cute drawing as well and that had my attention what a bonus.

What did not help is I have no real idea who Marieke Hardy is, I have never watched any show she has been in nor read any of her columns in the papers.

My first introduction to Marieke was this book, which it took me awhile to settle into and just read, I think if perhaps I had seen some of her work before or had some clue as to who she is, it would have made a...more

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Sep 23, 2011 Sean Kennedy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Marieke Hardy is kind of like the half-crazy wildchild older sister you wish you had - as if the titular character in the Juliana Hatfield song came to life. Yet she also seems to be pretty polarizing, with people either loving or hating her free-spirited persona. I'm in the former camp.

This is a collection of essays / stories about her life as a child actor, script writer, literature enthusiast and heavy drinker. At times deeply personal, Hardy also lets us see a different side when letters of...more

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Jan 12, 2012 Lindz rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 21st-century, aussie, memoir, read-2012

When I come across strangers with a book firmly clamped in hand, if I am not ignored, I get 'your a reader?', in the same tone as someone asking 'oh you collect commemorative stamps?'

With reading 'You'll be sorry when I'm dead' complete strangers felt compelled to repeat the title in a horrific question mark. The sketchy pink cover with the morbid title seem to unsettle people into outrage. Why would you read something like that? The cover does for once represent the content. Fluffy engaging st...more

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Dec 30, 2012 Tom Bensley rated it 4 of 5 stars

I'm not one for memoirs, really. I find them a little bit too self-indulgent and sometimes just endless bragging of an exciting life for 300 pages. Marieke Hardy's You'll Be Sorry When I'm Dead is both those things, but it is written by a woman desperately unafraid of her own ridiculous life. She regales stories of her wild youth spent drinking, doing drugs and behaving in a way that I would describe as perpetually sticking a middle finger up at the mundane. Hardy satirises herself again and aga...more

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Dec 22, 2011 Luke Devenish rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was SUCH a surprise and SUCH a good read. The surprise wasn't that it WAS good - far from it, Marieke's TV columns in The Age have always been a pleasure - the surprise was that it was far more than, well, hilarious. It was gutsy, reckless and insane. It was sad. It was a pleasure. The chapter on Susan and Young Talent Time was just gorgeous, almost my favourite, with its final, guilty revelations, taking it into the sublime. I was moved! And Susan's own reply actually made me a little tear...more

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Nov 08, 2011 Kirsten rated it 3 of 5 stars

I love Marieke on First Tuesday Book Club and follow her tweets, so wanted to support her by actually buying the physical book from an Australian bookstore (usually I cheat and get books from the library, book depository, or iPad versions). And yes, it was nice to own a brand spanker book again. Must do it more often.

I felt very much like I was reading Marieke's diaries, yes its self absorbed, but hey, why not. I get to live a little vicariously through this, and believe me, the lifestyle descr...more

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Nov 13, 2011 Kirsten rated it 3 of 5 stars

Marieke Hardy is undoubtedly a very talented, colourful and witty writer and you have admire the bold and unapologetic way she recounts some of the seemingly shameful snippets of her life.

The book is an entertaining read and is littered with 'laugh out loud' moments' (E.g. Hilarious self-deprecation relating to some of her more dorky moments writing to product manufacturers in 'the write-stuff').

However I found the further the booked progressed the more self-indulgent it became. 'The Bubble',...more

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Oct 03, 2012 Kate Forsyth rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian, autobiography-memoir

A tell-all memoir from self-confessed wild child Marieke Hardy that left me with mixed feelings. She set out to shock, and so I was obediently shocked at some of her stories. Others left me rather cold – we have all had our own adolescent rebellions and yet she seems to cling to this idea of herself, so much so that it could be tying her back and preventing her from growing. The writing was at times fierce, brilliant, and surprising, and I laughed out loud once or twice. However, I was as much s...more

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Jul 21, 2012 Joshua Donellan rated it 5 of 5 stars

This really was one of the best autobiographies/memoirs/collections of essays I've ever read. Traversing territory from heartbreaking to hilarious, you feel almost like a voyeur for reading. Hardy lays not only her heart on her sleeve, but her liver, kidneys and grey matter too. She can be both insightfully witty and achingly poignant. It's a rare thing for a writer to be able to successfully depict such a broad spectrum of human emotion. I loved this book like it was a person that I wanted to b...more

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Jan 06, 2012 Emma rated it 4 of 5 stars

Not one for your Mum, well not mine anyway, but I enjoyed peeking into someone elses life stories. I dont usually take to short stories but these read more as chapters than segmented tales. This is a collection of very honest and frank parts of Mariekes life. Those who are written about are allowed the right of the reply, and they all seem quite ok with sharing such intimate details, and if anything just show pride in their friends work.

The stories range from the less than standard dabbling wit...more

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Jan 16, 2013 S'hi rated it 2 of 5 stars

The reason I couldn’t read Marieke Hardy’s book is the same reason I don’t watch television. So many disconnected images passing by in the slipstream, as if they have meaning in themselves, but only having meaning if the hooks on them connect with some meaning within ourselves. The few that do for me, have no context or substance within her stream to carry me on to others which make the meaning in any way greater. It is not even a sense of humour to me, and for the very same reason. It is like a...more

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Jun 14, 2012 Bianca rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: biography

I loved this book. Marieke Hardy is a woman I am very intrigued by - I love her individuality and her style. I had only ever seen her on The First Tuesday Book Club and when I saw she had written a book I had to read it.

Her individual style is evident in her writing. I have never laughed so hard in a book where I had to force myself from belly laughing in public places. When Hardy writes she conveys these hilarious images that just make you smile and think what the ???? My favourite being 'the c...more

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Jan 11, 2013 Helen Barr rated it 4 of 5 stars

I found this book really enjoyable to read, as well as funny. I had heard criticism of this book as being a self-indulgent spiel about her middle-class problems. It is all about her, but there is more than self-promotion and exhibitionism going on. I think Hardy has a genuine talent for moving/honest prose that people can relate to. Hardy's openness, willingness to give things a try, as well as the celebration of her less admirable characteristics was quite inspiring. This book is witty(and very...more

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Oct 30, 2011 Julie rated it 3 of 5 stars

I am the same age as Marieke, and remember watching her in The Henderson Kids all those years ago. I bought the book to read hoping to find out a little about what she has been doing since that time in the 1980's. I was surprised to read about her sex life, the drugs, heavy drinking etc, like that has been her greatest achievement so far. I feel she comes across a little immature, and doesn't really have a nice word to say about anybody that isn't in "The Bubble".This could've been something she...more

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Oct 15, 2012 Matthew Colyer rated it 3 of 5 stars

It made me laugh, it made me cry and it changed my life forever. Ok it didn’t make me cry nor did it change my life but I guess that was the point. I have to say when I started reading this book I was a little bit in love with Marieke and her kooky writing ways. Sadly I think I made a mistake in reading it as if it was a novel and not a collection of short story’s show-casing a self-indulgent, dysfunctional and naive life. Don’t get me wrong there is some generally funny (try not to laugh out lo...more

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Apr 07, 2012 Cheyenne Blue rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian, memoir

My only knowledge of Marieke Hardy is from The First Tuesday Book Club, where I like her comments, her reviews, how she is not afraid to disagree, and her choice of books. And yeah, I like how she sits there looking so sedate and almost prim, whilst wearing a ridiculous flower in her hair and girly dresses with an armful of ink. I remember thinking, "I bet that's one seriously wicked woman."

She is a delightfully wicked woman, and oh boy, can she write. Others have said her memoir is smug and sel...more

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Nov 10, 2011 sOL rated it 1 of 5 stars

I've been a fan of Marieke Hardy's work for a long time, so when I found out she had published a book I rushed to the bookstore with eager anticipation. As I began to devour the book on the way home from work, my disappointment increased. By the time I reached page 100 I'd had enough of the self indulgent waffle, that seemed like it was trying way too hard to sound 'cool'. All I can say is thank the pixel Gods for eBay because at least I can try and get some of my money back. If only I could buy...more

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Jan 24, 2012 Kanada Warden rated it 3 of 5 stars

Not sure how I felt about this one. At times I enjoyed learning about the stories of Hardy's life, while at other times, it bored and annoyed me. I think that mostly, I enjoyed the fact that I was at times able to relate to certain elements within her stories; living in Fitzroy, experiencing the Melbourne music scene, living a hedonistic life and becoming an unofficial "step-mother". However mostly, it annoyed me, as Hardy seemed to remind the reader too often, how adorably quirky she is (or per...more

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Jan 14, 2012 Emma Louise rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: bought, ebook

I enjoyed some stories more than others of course. In particular, the story about her friend Gen battling cancer was brilliant, the lighter spin in the story really turning it into something different. I rather enjoyed the one about the swingers and the opening story about her curiosity for prostitutes. Altogether these quick, quirky stories really made the book into something different rather than one long sequential flashback, so I appreciated this aspect. I have rather enjoyed reading her sto...more

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Mar 10, 2013 jessica malice rated it 1 of 5 stars

I'd read some of Marieke Hardy's articles and found them insightful, clever and witty, so thought I liked her, and thought I'd like this book. I didn't, from the very first chapter - a transparent attempt to titillate (just look at how many reviews mention that she wanted to be a prostitute as a child in their very first sentence) and to come across as bravely baring all, being viscerally honest and upfront and not caring what anyone thinks and etc etc.

Sorry, no. I didn't find it brave or shocki...more

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Mar 11, 2012 Maree Hall rated it 4 of 5 stars

I used to not like Marieke Hardy. I grumbled away when she was on Triple J. I found her obstructive. Always having an “other” point of view. She seemed determined to provoke, challenge and obstruct.

These days, these are exactly the quality in Marieke that I have come to love.

Australia is very short on women with a strong point of view.

And agree or disagree with her points of view on things, I adore the fact that she has one.

This book is very playful. Set up by the delightful preface by her fathe...more

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Dec 26, 2011 Ross Hamilton rated it 4 of 5 stars

Marieke Hardy became a much more visible presence on the Australian landscape with her regular spot on ABC Television's First Tuesday Book Club. But of course she had been around for much longer than that, writing for The Age and elsewhere, including the Australian Writers Guild's magazine, script writing and acting when younger. She is clearly a fascinating individual and I looked forward to finally getting to review this book.

This is less a biography and more a collection of shorter pieces abo...more

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Jan 28, 2012 Carmel rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: australian-writers

I watch Hardy every month on First Tuesday Book Club so I was very interested to read a series of essays about her life, and to discover whether I would enjoy her writing. It’s too bad then that I found a lot of this book a bit like watching Sex and the City. It was mostly entertaining, and tried hard to be funny and titillating, but ended up being very uninteresting.
It’s not that she can’t write. She’s good at constructing sentences and holding a thread, and for the most part her writing is qui...more

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Jan 28, 2012 Booksy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-2012

The first chapter of the book was deceptively easy and too word-playful for my liking. Further essays in this collection of autobiographical essays (some published previously in newspapers and magazines) are a lot more revealing, deep and sad/funny, although with the same approach to perfecting the vocabulary that made me reach for English dictionary (and here I was thinking I covered vast majority of the English words since I first started my journey reading unabridged literature in English!)....more

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Nov 13, 2011 Shannon rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 5-star-reads

To the one and only: Marieke Hardy,

I am writing this letter not to portray myself off as a needy helpless star-struck fan of yours, Whilst I am all of those things crumbed and blended with onions into a delicious human meatball, but I write it simply because I must. Like your emotional, Knowledgeable, interest with Bob Ellis... Well I have a similar connection to you... Excluding the need to become physical with you, well I wouldn't be ignorant to experience. I find you amazing!
Pissing in your...more

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About Marieke Hardy

Marieke Josephine Hardy is a screenwriter, author, blogger, radio presenter, and part-time mud wrestler. She is a little bit taller than Uncanny X-Men lead singer Brian Mannix, though doesn’t fill out a pair of leather trousers nearly as neatly.

She makes host Jennifer Byrne’s life an abject misery once a month on the ABC’s The Book Club. A collection of her essays, You’ll Be Sorry When I’m Dead, w...more

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