Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant Who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being
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Let's Panic About Babies!: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant Who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being

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3.63 of 5 stars 3.63  ·  rating details  ·  259 ratings  ·  86 reviews

BABIES. Maybe you’re thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe you’ve already got one around the house, somewhere, and you’re responsible for its continued survival. You’re saddled with a helpless being whom you’ve agreed to house and feed and love with all

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ebook, 272 pages
Published March 1st 2011 by St. Martin's Griffin
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Alice
Mar 14, 2011 Alice rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
I probably shouldn't rate a book that I co-wrote, so the above five stars are for the parts that Eden wrote only. Although I can't remember which those are. At any rate, they're five-star-worthy. HER parts.
Ann
Apr 18, 2011 Ann is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2011
In its first two pages, this book elicited two lols, a chuffle, and a sustained grin.

Secret ambition: to pass this book onto Mike in hopes that he will no longer panic about babies and (maybe) decide to actually father one before my ovaries shrivel up for good.

p.s. Am I the only one who wants to type this book's title as Let's Panic! About Babies? Okay, good to know.
Robin
This book, for me, was the perfect antidote to all the other books and websites I read while pregnant. Ironically, every time a Serious Baby Book sent me into panic about what was about to happen to me (particularly since I had a scheduled c-section and several of said Serious Books were rather intentionally frightening on the topic) I would pick up Let's Panic and feel much better.

It has also provided hours of entertainment for both my mother and mother-in-law when they come over to help with t...more
Allison
So this book cracked me up. There are a lot of laugh out loud funny parts. For Example: "Have you encountered dampness in the pants area whenever you chuckle at a Family Circus cartoon? Good news: you're not in early labor! You're only peeing on yourself". That may be only funny to those have experienced the joy of pregnancy, but I fit those requirements. I also felt inspired to get a shirt that says "I'm not fat. I'm just pregnant". Mine should probably more appropriately say "Yes, I'm fat, bu...more
Jennifer Pratt
Oh LOOK! A funny book about having a baby! Only it totally isn't It'll make you just as paranoid and hysterical about all the crap you don't know or understand as the "What To Expect When..." books will. They DO have lawyers at the publishing company after all. You CAN'T tell women that it's really probably fine to eat soft cheeses and that if they grew up with pets they're already immune to toxoplasmosis. And that if you don't breast feed your baby until it's like 13 years old it probably will...more
Michelle
I read this book in between the more serious baby books, and it was good to get a break! Sometimes the book felt like, Eh, stop trying so hard to be funny, but most of the time, I appreciated the humor. Because, yes, babies are miracles and they are amazing, but also, pregnancy, labor and delivery, and actual caregiving can be weird and funny. Or sometimes horrible! But you need to laugh or at least approach it all with a lighter view. And this book helps with that! Also, as sarcastic as the boo...more
Caitlin
This book was an absolute hoot - and a good antidote to the baby books I've been trawling through.

Obviously, this book is satire. At least, I thought this was obvious - but reading some reviews, people are annoyed that there isn't any actual useful or accurate "advice" (I even read one review that took the authors to task for ascribing the wrong disease to cats.)

Which makes me laugh even more.

Think of this book like a long-form article on "The Onion". It's hilarious, and well-directed - by the t...more
Laurie
For anyone who has or is reading endless pregnancy manuals, this book is a wonderful breath of fresh air! A hilarious parody of those books, this one successfully pokes fun at the craziness that can set in when you realize you're responsible for the life of a little human being. This book gave my husband and I some well-needed chuckles and was an excellent one to turn to, in snippets, as we made plans, read books, and tried to figure out what the heck we were doing. I highly recommend it!
Regina
There is only one word to describe this book--HILARIOUS!!!! If you don’t have a sarcastic sense of humor, don’t even bother. It will most likely offend you. However, I thought this is, hands down, THE best “baby book” I have EVER read! (And I have read more than my fair share!) I would advise every mom-to-be to read this instead of the numerous other baby books that will simply perpetuate lie after lie. I plan to pass my copy around to unsuspecting mothers everywhere!

Martha Weaver


Loved this book! I laughed so hard I cried. If you have had a difficult pregnancy or have felt at any point that pregnancy wasn't as beautiful and wonderful as everyone makes you feel like it should be, then this is the book for you. Also love the parts about cats and how they are out to get our baby seeing as that is what everyone keeps telling us.
Sarah
This book is hilarious and a nice antidote to all those serious pregnancy books that seem lecture-y. Not funny all the way through but fun to flip though when one gets tired of reading the other ones.
Kathleen
It was funny for about 100 pages. After that, it just seemed like the authors were trying way too hard to be quirky and funny. Maybe I would have enjoyed it more had I not read it all in one go.
Miranda
Apr 04, 2011 Miranda marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
I don't think I really want to read this book as it appears that it will end up telling me babies are actually good. I prefer to disregard the last part of the title.

Oh heck, I would read it.
Brenda
Simply wonderful parody of the thousands of overly serious bppks on childbirth and early parenting. Such a tonic for those of us reading way too much about their imminent grandbabies!
Rita Arens
HEE-LAR-EE-OUS. Old-timey pictures meet extreme dry wit. Subject: pregnancy. Fun to discuss at cocktail parties and student council meetings.
Angella
I think every Mom (or Mom-to-be) needs to read this book. Unless, of course, you hate laughing.
Liz
3.5 stars. This book was incredibly sarcastic and a bit crude at times, but still laugh-out-loud funny in multiple parts. There were some bits that were SO ON POINT that I found myself wanting to copy them down verbatim and email them to all of my favorite friends. Some parts were just "meh." I think you have to be in the right mood to read it. I kind of think of it as the pregnancy version of I Am America by Stephen Colbert... quite outlandish, but still rather satirical and accurate at parts....more
Jen
Too vulgar for me. But I think Table 16.1, "How to Fix the Dumb Stuff You Said," is hilarious.
Here's one:
What you said: "Man, I am so tired."
Quick, backpedal: "And I haven't been working a tenth as hard as you have. You're amazing, did you know that?"
What you should have said: "Those boots you liked on Zappos.com -- let's order them. No, I will. You've done enough."
Damage control: Buy the boots, then make dinner.

Another one:
What you said: "How come I don't have any clean socks?"
Quick, backpedal
...more
Tori
2014- When I first picked up this book, I was expecting humorous advice. Instead I realized it was mainly a book of humor that happened to deal with pregnancy/child-rearing. So basically it is a whole bunch of sometimes funny "advice".
Kristi
This book had its moments, but overall, I just did not find it laugh out loud funny. The ludicrous, crass hyperbole about how pregnancy and babies ruin your life just got tiresome after 250+ pages. I'd rather read a book that either a) actually makes me laugh or b) encourages me that having kids is not the worst decision ever!
Rachel McCready-Flora
Nov 05, 2011 Rachel McCready-Flora rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: preggos, partners of preggos, new parents
Shelves: baby-parenting
Sadly we didn't get through the whole book before we had to return it to the library, but this was so much fun to read through with my husband. Thank goodness for a lighthearted approach to pregnancy and having a baby to enjoy during the last (and quite ridiculous) month of pregnancy!

Four stars because sometimes it feels like the authors are trying a little too hard, but overall hilarious and a necessary dark view for this thing we call "the miracle of life" (who came up with that anyways?).
Bad Penny
I'd say this is more of a one-and-a-half star book. I found it totally unfunny and now I don't think I want to have a baby, because it sounds horrible. I'm sure for women who lived through all of the awful things this book talks about, it's funny to look back and laugh. For those of us who haven't yet, it sure isn't encouraging.

Edit: a lot of other people here said it's "trying too hard," and I agree. It's like Jenny Lawson wrote it or something.
Amanda
I really wanted to love this book because I love Alice and Eden online and enjoy their blogs. But I felt after awhile the jokes got repetative and tired and needed to be about 100 pages shorter. Still funny, just not funny enough for me to last over 200+ pages. Perhaps if I were actually a parent or pregnant it would have been more entertaining. Maybe I'll reread when I get pregnant and see if I change my mind.
Lindsay
This book had me crying with laughter as I flipped the pages. It's easy to read, more of a coffee table book actually. If you've ever had a baby, or if you are a first time mom-to-be and need some comic relief after days spent wretching into the nearest receptacles, watching your ankles disappear, and worrying about the color you will paint the nursery walls, then this book is for you.
Marcy
I haven't read all the way thru this book, but instead am enjoying little morsels here and there....and both my husband and I are loving it so far. He was nearly in years the other night, reading the section on swaddling a newborn! I've been a fan of Alice Bradley's blog for a long time, and this book is very much in line with her blog's writing style and humor.
Kailyn
Hysterical to the point of laughing out loud at times. I'd recommend this to any parent-to-be.
M
Mar 16, 2011 M marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
I suspect, like every article in The Onion, the subtitle is the best part and the only part I should bother to read:
"Subtitle: How to Endure and Possibly Triumph Over the Adorable Tyrant who Will Ruin Your Body, Destroy Your Life, Liquefy Your Brain, and Finally Turn You into a Worthwhile Human Being."
Bree
More humor than help-me. Actually nothing in this book is real so prepare to use this just to laugh. Most of it is about being pregnant so I would read this during pregnancy and not when the baby is 2 like I did. I also was looking for something a bit helpful so that is why I only liked the book.
Kathleen
My husband got this for me when we were trying to conceive. It is a fun break from actual pregnancy info and did have some parts where I laughed out loud. The whole joking bit could get tedious after a while though. For example, the authors were obsessed with Brian Dennehey for some reason . . .
Christine
The vulgarity doesn't bother me - this book is SO over the top that it lost my attention and I basically just skimmed the whole thing. I like a humorous book to break up the 'serious' pregnancy books I've been reading, but I didn't have the attention for this one. They were trying WAY too hard.
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Hello! You can find me on my blog Finslippy (www.finslippy.com). I've also been featured in numerous anthologies, magazines and websites, including "The Best Creative Nonfiction, Vol. 2," Redbook, Nerve, The Sun, The Onion News Network, Fence, Berkeley Fiction Review, and Pank. I was nominated in 2009 and 2013 for a Pushcart Prize in nonfiction and fiction, respectively. Right now I'm editing an a...more
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