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402nd out of 879 books
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1,242 voters
It's Hard Not to Hate You
From the author of THIN IS THE NEW HAPPY comes a hilarious new memoir about embracing your Inner Hater. In the midst of a health and career crisis, Valerie uncorks years of pent up rage, and discovers you don't have to be happy to be happy. You don’t have to love everyone else to like yourself. And that your Bitchy Twin might just be your funniest, most valuable and honest...more
Hardcover, 256 pages
Published
September 13th 2011
by St. Martin's Press
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This was a book club selection that I was excited to read. It sounded like a really funny read but it ended up being a memoir (which I did not realize before reading)and kind of a downer. There were some funny parts but all and all the author was not very exciting and it got old reading her complaints. There was supposed to be a moment when she decided to let speak her mind and let out her true feelings. I really didn't see the transition. She always seemed open to speaking her mind as far I cou...more
I was over half through the book before I realized this was a memoir. The tiny red dot on the cover with "A Memoir" on it? I honestly thought it was a sticker the library had put on the book for sorting or shelving reasons!
The fact that it's a memoir probably goes a long way to explaining why the 'plot' wasn't more obvious: Your life only has a discernible plot if you've done a whole lot of editing, and possibly outright lying.
Faced with a dramatic health crisis, Frankel decides to 'unleash her...more
The fact that it's a memoir probably goes a long way to explaining why the 'plot' wasn't more obvious: Your life only has a discernible plot if you've done a whole lot of editing, and possibly outright lying.
Faced with a dramatic health crisis, Frankel decides to 'unleash her...more
If we could give half-star ratings on this site, I would give 3.5 instead of 4. As it is, it'll have to stay at 3.
Overall, I truly enjoyed this book. The best part about Frankel's voice (as you can probably tell from the title) is that this story is all about being honest with yourself and saying the things that you're really thinking (and let's face it, we're all thinking it as well). I loved that she comes out and says what we all want to say and lets consequence lie where it must. If I had ha...more
Overall, I truly enjoyed this book. The best part about Frankel's voice (as you can probably tell from the title) is that this story is all about being honest with yourself and saying the things that you're really thinking (and let's face it, we're all thinking it as well). I loved that she comes out and says what we all want to say and lets consequence lie where it must. If I had ha...more
Valerie Frankel writes what we are all thinking but don't usually have the guts to do anything about. Which is...What the &@*% are some people thinking? From parents who are "besties" with their children, to business contacts who seem to fall off the face of the earth, to semiconscious religious bias, Frankel discuss it all. It's Hard Not to Hate You is Frankel delving into the question so many of us want to know...Where did common courtesy go?
The premise is simple. Frankel was told by her d...more
The premise is simple. Frankel was told by her d...more
The writing is good and it hangs together pretty well, which makes up for the intermittent tediousness.
This is the story of Frankel's attitude change after learning that she has had cancer, and is likely to have cancer again. She writes that she has been quietly resentful -- a "closet hater" -- for most of her life, and is now ready to be more honest with the world. It's sometimes funny, and rings true in a lot of places, but it's also...really mundane. The author is no everywoman -- her career...more
This is the story of Frankel's attitude change after learning that she has had cancer, and is likely to have cancer again. She writes that she has been quietly resentful -- a "closet hater" -- for most of her life, and is now ready to be more honest with the world. It's sometimes funny, and rings true in a lot of places, but it's also...really mundane. The author is no everywoman -- her career...more
It's Hard Not To Hate You is Valerie Frankel's open, honest and often hilarious memoir about how letting your 'inner hater' out can actually be good for you.
All her life Valerie kept her anger inside, she just kind of bit her tongue when dealing with rude people. Which is fine at times, but she was doing this so much that the anger and resentment just kept building up inside her and preventing her from being happy.
In her early forties, married with two children, successful as a writer, Valerie...more
All her life Valerie kept her anger inside, she just kind of bit her tongue when dealing with rude people. Which is fine at times, but she was doing this so much that the anger and resentment just kept building up inside her and preventing her from being happy.
In her early forties, married with two children, successful as a writer, Valerie...more
“It’s hard not to hate you” is Valerie Frankel’s humorous memoir about her life, using one universal themes: hatred for mundane situations, things, and people—and the way to cope with it.
This is not your typical chronological memoir, but rather a collection of stories adhering to the universal theme of this book. The author gets you to laugh with her, to cry with her, and to see yourself in similar situations. I found the memoir to be both humorous and sentimental.
Frankel describes being an o...more
This is not your typical chronological memoir, but rather a collection of stories adhering to the universal theme of this book. The author gets you to laugh with her, to cry with her, and to see yourself in similar situations. I found the memoir to be both humorous and sentimental.
Frankel describes being an o...more
I received this book as part of a goodreads giveaway and feel compelled to review it since I didn't pay for it. Unfortunately, I don't recommend this book.
There are moments of goodness to be found: stories with lessons, the underdog sticking it to the arch enemy, or overcoming personal and professional challenges. But between them are random sidetracked and long-winded thoughts, an unhealthy dose of jealousy and insecurity, raunchy (not funny) interjections and a complete lack of direction. The...more
There are moments of goodness to be found: stories with lessons, the underdog sticking it to the arch enemy, or overcoming personal and professional challenges. But between them are random sidetracked and long-winded thoughts, an unhealthy dose of jealousy and insecurity, raunchy (not funny) interjections and a complete lack of direction. The...more
Before I selected this book, I'd never heard of Valerie Frankel. I don't read chick-lit so I was wary but decided to give it a chance. Something about the title. I've definitely been there.
The book was not what I expected at all. I thought it would be some frou-frou tongue-in-cheek faux "memoir"...and while it's sort-of written like one, it teaches some great lessons along the way about friends, love, and success. It's a humorous quest of self-realization that I really identified with, especiall...more
The book was not what I expected at all. I thought it would be some frou-frou tongue-in-cheek faux "memoir"...and while it's sort-of written like one, it teaches some great lessons along the way about friends, love, and success. It's a humorous quest of self-realization that I really identified with, especiall...more
It's hard not to hate Valerie Frankel. Ok that was an obvious joke, but it's kind of true. I was really unsure whether her point was to let all the anger out; don't bottle it up because it could very well kill you. Or, recognize you have anger and try to deal with it. I saw a lot of mixed messages in this book. The other reason why I "hate" Frankel is because she acts so self dejecting while at the same time name dropping left and right. Sure she shields the identity of some, but it's usually wh...more
Valerie Frankel is funny. And that can be hard to do with just words on a page, without inflection and facial expressions or gestures. I mean, I could watch Chelsea Lately all day long, but I'm not sure her book got one laugh out of me. And boy do I love Tina Fey, but there were times when I thought, listening to Bossypants on audiobook, "I'm not sure if that joke would have come off the same way if I'd just seen it in text."
Frankel is honest, wry, and bold in ways I sometimes want to be but ca...more
Frankel is honest, wry, and bold in ways I sometimes want to be but ca...more
Note: This book was received through a giveaway.
I feel sometimes similar to the author's experiences. I also ended up with few friends and rarely do things with them which is probably mostly my fault.
It's an odd mix of emotions in the book. Sometimes the author feels like she needs to bottle everything up and other times lets it loose completely. I don't agree with some of the sentiments like "you're allowed to be a bitch if someone's being rude to you". I find it much better to just ignore them...more
I feel sometimes similar to the author's experiences. I also ended up with few friends and rarely do things with them which is probably mostly my fault.
It's an odd mix of emotions in the book. Sometimes the author feels like she needs to bottle everything up and other times lets it loose completely. I don't agree with some of the sentiments like "you're allowed to be a bitch if someone's being rude to you". I find it much better to just ignore them...more
I'm not going to say that It's Hard Not to Hate You by Valerie Frankel changed my life--but it certainly made me think. Like Frankel, I've felt down about the number of friends I have, my physical fitness/health, and my future success in a challenging industry. I've been jealous and angry and unhappy and my insecurities have gotten the best of many of my past friendships and relationships. While reading this book, I was surprised by how well I related to the author--I no longer feel foolish or c...more
I picked up this book after reading a few great reviews that claimed this book would be hilarious and smart. It wasn't. It was whiney and boring. It was a complete waste of time. The author comes off as very angry and over-judgmental of pretty much everyone, including her 6 year old daughter's kindergarten classmate, and a woman who confused her with someone else. Towards the end of the book when I finally accepted that this book is not going to get any better I found myself skimming through par...more
I won this in a Goodreads First Reads giveaway as an Advance Reader Copy.
I really enjoyed the author's sense of humor and writing style. This is not the type of book that I normally read so it was a nice departure for me. However, I was turned off about 3/4 of the way through the book by the constant snarking at other people. Granted, this book IS called It's Hard Not to Hate You so I suppose snarking is a given but I simply got tired of it, especially the chapter about kids and parenting. It is...more
I really enjoyed the author's sense of humor and writing style. This is not the type of book that I normally read so it was a nice departure for me. However, I was turned off about 3/4 of the way through the book by the constant snarking at other people. Granted, this book IS called It's Hard Not to Hate You so I suppose snarking is a given but I simply got tired of it, especially the chapter about kids and parenting. It is...more
Totally related to many of the authors feelings and situations, especially the difficulty of making and/or maintaining meaningful female relationships. Appreciated the different approach - not the same one as the positive thinkers for a change. Telling her younger self that she should've felt less was wrong, she should have felt more. That she should speak up when she felt righteously pissed off. This is something we (girls, especially) are often told is wrong. Instead we should smile and put on...more
I didn't realize this was a memoir until about halfway in. Seriously. It's written in really small print on the cover, the picture looks like your typical chick-lit cover, and I found it hard to believe that someone was walking around being that angry all the time, nursing all these slights from kids in junior high, snooty neighbors, and other authors. She gets upset that her husband (who sounds like a saint, BTW) checks out once in a while for a drink at the neighborhood bar. She gets upset tha...more
I received a copy of this book from Goodreads First reads for review.
I really enjoyed Valerie Frankel's new memoir. I don't know why, but I enjoy reading stories of others' real-life woes. I suppose it is because it makes me forget about my own. Thumbs up for that!
Valerie Frankel decided that, at age twelve, she was not going to let anyone see her negative emotions. Give the proverbial "poker face" to the world. She soon finds out that bottling these emotions has turned her into a stressed out,...more
I really enjoyed Valerie Frankel's new memoir. I don't know why, but I enjoy reading stories of others' real-life woes. I suppose it is because it makes me forget about my own. Thumbs up for that!
Valerie Frankel decided that, at age twelve, she was not going to let anyone see her negative emotions. Give the proverbial "poker face" to the world. She soon finds out that bottling these emotions has turned her into a stressed out,...more
This book was touted to be "hilarious." It wasn't. I think the author thinks that she is funnier than she actually is. In many cases, it came off as quite sad. However, there were plenty of things in it that I agreed wholeheartedly with. The best chapter in the entire book, "I hate your kids" almost made up for the rest. I found myself screaming "AMEN" through the whole thing. I just think there's a difference between making obvious observations and being funny about it.
Literally read in one day. I didn't realize until a third of the way through that it was a memoir, which pleased me to no end since I was feeling like I had met a soul mate.
Funny, honest, painful AND helpful. A self-help book for those who really try to help themselves. And yet, not a self-help book at all, but the kind of conversation held over too much wine with a friend you haven't seen nearly enough of.
Funny, honest, painful AND helpful. A self-help book for those who really try to help themselves. And yet, not a self-help book at all, but the kind of conversation held over too much wine with a friend you haven't seen nearly enough of.
I really thought I'd be able to relate to this book based on the description. I thought this author and I would be soul sisters. Turns out I'm not as angry as I thought I was. She's witty, and I definitely found some common ground, but not a majority. What I liked most was her honesty and will most likely pick up one or two of her other books just to check out what else she has to offer.
This book was just okay. I had a hard time relating to the main character, and I did not particularly like her voice/writing style. I thought she was very negative and filled with anger (although, I guess that was the point of the book--to release years of pent-up rage at others in her life). I just couldn't really get into it, and ended up skimming it. C'mon, Valerie Frankel, get happy!
I loved this book! We are so PC these days and even though we want to try to get along with others, it's impossible. I'm so glad Frankel was honest in her book that we can't always get along with everyone. There are people that I detest. And while I won't be a jerk to them, I'm done feeling guilty about not liking someone. And I might even complain to others about them too.
I connected with her in the 1st few chapters - it's hard not to hate (SOMETIMES) your parents, your significant other, the skinny bitch at work, the check-out girl at Jewel, etc.....you go from being *you* to the dark you, the black you, the worst version of you. Relate-able, right? But the last half of the book is about cancer and a bit tough to digest to if you haven't been through it.
Pretty good book, clipped along at a fun pace with some good laughs. At some points got bogged down in descriptions of being impatient in traffic, etc., and during those points I found it hard not to hate the book. And the jealousy focus over other published authors and descriptions of the author not getting a break were a bit overly-ego focused. (And yes, if Val Frankel reads this review I know for sure that she will find it hard not to hate me!)
Totally loved this book! I completely related to the author's bitching about all the things and people that annoy her. ( I think most of us would). I also enjoyed how she self analyzed her life and reactions to life's annoyances and where that all came from. A very fast read (too fast-I wanted more) and will be running out to buy more of her books.
This book is hilarious. Valeria Frankel has a wicked sense of humor, a lot of self-insight, and isn't afraid to say what she thinks. Mix all of this with some truly interesting life experiences and the result is a funny memoir that's also a quick read.
I did have some trouble at times figuring out whether she was writing in "the present" or "the past" because she writes about both and switches freely from one to the other. This was just a minor distraction, however, as I was always able to sort t...more
I did have some trouble at times figuring out whether she was writing in "the present" or "the past" because she writes about both and switches freely from one to the other. This was just a minor distraction, however, as I was always able to sort t...more
Oct 27, 2011
Jocelyn
added it
There's something about Frankel's voice that ends up feeling abrasive; she wants to be funnier than she is, and while she cops to her foibles, it's not enough to make those foibles less grating. I wasn't completely turned off by her, though, and think I need to try at least one more of her books. She may grow on me!
This book was just 'ok'. Some parts were really funny and other parts were really boring. I think the author spent chapters going on a rants that I began to loose interest. I would only recommend this book to someone who is a die-hard fan of the author. This is the first book that I read by Frankel and it will probably be the last.
I LOVED this one. Frankel wrote so many passages that I wish I could have written. She speaks with such clarity and down to earth style about how we must acknowledge and accept ALL of our feelings, not just the shiny happy ones. It's a fun read, and a beautifully accessible description of the topics I cover in psychotherapy.
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She's written twenty books (e.g., The Accidental Virgin and The Girlfriend Curse), and contributed to dozens of publications including the New York Times, Self, Allure, Glamour, Parenting and Good Housekeeping. Her memoir, Thin Is the New Happy, about overcoming bad body image after 30 years of dieting and self-loathing, was recently described as "Rueful, zestful and surprisingly funny," by the Ne...more
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“Be emotionally authentic. Close the gap between who you think you should be and who you really are, she said. If you're honest about your feelings, you're in harmony. If you're dishonest about them, you're in chaos. -Mary T. Browne”
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