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Unlocking Your Family Patterns: Finding Freedom from a Hurtful Past

4.34  ·  Rating Details ·  87 Ratings  ·  13 Reviews
Revised and updated from the original, this honest and forthright look at families of all shapes and sizes will help you down the path of healing (whether you know you need it or whether you're just not sure).
Unlocking Your Family Patterns combines decades worth of counseling wisdom and pastoral care insights into this one practical resource. Your past may hurt, and your
Published March 1st 1995 by Moody Publishers (first published 1991)
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May 02, 2012 Andrew rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
In Unlocking Your Family Patterns, Dr. Henry Cloud, Dave Carder, Dr. Earl Henslin, and Dr. John Townsend explained the path to healing and overcoming your family hurts. Each chapter of the book is written by one of the four authors. The book explored the dynamics of David, Isaac, Jesus, and their family trees. For example, David slept with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba. She becomes pregnant with David's child. He ordered his army to pull back in the battle lines. Uriah is killed and Bathsheba loses th ...more
Strong start with biblical families such as David, Abraham, and Isaac family dysfunctional relationship. I appreciated David's example of a dysfunctional family because it shows what happens when problems arise and it is not dealt with. What was key, is that the whole family had issues. I think that is true with all families that are dysfunctional. It is not just one in the family, it is the whole family that needs to learn to deal with conflict. A family needs to be a place of being free to exp ...more
Lisa Garner
May 13, 2016 Lisa Garner rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is a staple on my shelf and there isn't a season of my life that I don't revisit the truths that thread through this book. It has helped me identify my families dysfunction as I work through making changes in my life. There is so much freedom in breaking through the denial and anger to understanding the truth of your hurt and pain. Some of the afflictions in life are given to us without our doing and other afflictions are given because of our own actions. This book helps you know what those ...more
Dec 29, 2015 Carmie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Poorly written cheesy christian psychology. Very repetitive of information that can be found elsewhere. Very little scientific reference and strong opinionated claims made as if they are facts for a book that is about psychology and recovery.
Lisa McClain
Oct 06, 2016 Lisa McClain rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Very insightful

This was suggested within a different book that I was reading. I'm glad I stuck with reading the entire book. This helped me realize a lot about myself. It provided me the advice and support to change.
Have used this for bibliotherapy on several occasions. Starts with Bible references then what patterns can lead to the process of a dysfunctional family. Most useful has been the section of "How to Do It Right When You Learned Wrong." My personal earlier years were thrashed through the involvement with a pastoral dysfunctional family. Appendix B is one of the most powerful sections of the book: "Patterns Predicting Pastoral Infidelity." Reading and understanding the impact of such described beha ...more
Our copy has a hard red cover
Feb 27, 2012 Raymond rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A very good book for healing to those have been hurt by their own family or church. Great insights on how dyfunctional families damage a person and ways to recovery from this kinds turmoils. Hope is around the corner and lights will be shinning through once you have gone through the jungle of growth leaded by this book.
Wannie Michelmann
One of the best books covering case studies of abuse, neglect, forgiveness and healing for adult children of dysfunctional families. The authors impressively cover characters in the bible that suffered abuse and grew up in dysfunction. It is indeed a breath of fresh air for me. Highly recommended.
Nancy Graham
Apr 02, 2016 Nancy Graham rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Helpful insights for those haunted by childhood memories and those who care for them.
Jul 04, 2012 P rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Changing my way of thinking completely.
Jan 08, 2012 Rita rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Interesting insights!
Mar 07, 2012 Libbydale rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public semina
More about Henry Cloud...

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“When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children” 23 likes
“He is the Truth, and He wants us to deal in truth with ourselves and our loved ones. We want the truth about you and your family to flood into and overrun the secrets that keep you in bondage to dysfunctional behavior and relationships” 14 likes
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