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The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (Housewife Assassin, #1)
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The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (The Housewife Assassin #1)

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3.65 of 5 stars 3.65  ·  rating details  ·  3,501 ratings  ·  402 reviews
Murder, suspense, sex-and some handy household tips.

Every desperate housewife would love an alias. Donna Stone has one, and it's government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree
...more
ebook, 178 pages
Published by Signal Press (first published May 11th 2011)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Margitte
Stilletos, bitchdom, sex and espionage - yes. Me me me me me en my perfect self is the heroine. Perfect mommy, perfect kiddies and the right sex drive. Now bite me.

Got the t-shirt, it was done.

Three hours of my life lost. It was enough.

Sarah Walker
I think this is probably Satire. Or at least tongue in cheek. One part of me says hooray for taking all those cliches and making fun of them, giving a fresh twist with predictability. For playing with all that melodrama in the bedroom. The other part of me just groans. When I was finished, I did some research and found that Ms. Brown is widely accepted as a brilliant writer who, does from time to time, write Satire. If this is Satire, it's beautiful. I just wish I'd known it before I invested in ...more
Katri
I think I haven't read any chick lit book since high school and I thought I never will..., but obviously :D
After first quarter of the book I thought to put it down, but I couldn't since I have to finish what I've started. At times I got really annoyed by author's constant denials on some facts... Why would you say something over and over? In fact finally one doesn't believe it anymore and it ruins all the fun... :(
On the other hand it might have been her way to let reader feel like Donna feels..
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Josie Brown
Jun 02, 2015 Josie Brown rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
Dear Readers,

Every desperate housewife would love an alias.The heroine of my latest novel, Donna Stone has one, and it's government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.

Donna's life wasn't alwa
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Kate
I was lucky enough to win this eBook from a giveaway on Dizzy C’s Little Book Blog, the blurb sounded interesting and I was looking forward to reading it.

I have to say that this book was even better than I thought it would be – I ended up reading it in just one evening and couldn’t go to sleep until I knew what the outcome would be! It was action-packed and humorous from the start and that continued throughout, Donna appeared to be struggling with her double life as an assassin and a mum but I w
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Ruth
I recently read The Secrets Lives of Husbands and Wives by Josie Brown. I was pleasantly surprised by what a good read it was by an author that I had never heard about before. I was thrilled to discover that she had written other books and I was certainly intrigued by this title.

In this story, we find that Donna has lost her husband. Needing to support her three children, she becomes an assassin for a government organization. The book is funny, entertaining, fast moving, and a thriller. You do
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Trish
This book was a free download, and honestly, I feel like I need to go send some money to the author ... it was excellent and funny and intriguing and different and completely enjoyable. So guess, maybe she will get my money, because I'm going to buy some more of her books! Recommend!
Renee
OK I am on a Josie Brown roll now! She has me laughing and sometimes crying, boo hoo, all in all I am intrigued by Carl and then Jack. The suburbs according to Josie are just filled with secret agents and little gadgets. Very good story and plot. Cant say more because I don't want to give away the plot. Trust me it is good!
Donna Peterson
When I first started reading this book, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. By the second chapter, I was hooked! I couldn't put the book down. The characters become your friends and you don't want to let them go. If you like romantic mysteries, I highly recommend these books.
Deraurah B. Wilson
Great Read

It was funny and intense all at the same time. The main character is so relatable. I really enjoyed this book. Looking forward to the rest of the series!

Anika
It was free first for all and I loved it. I have already brought the second book. It was full speed ahead from page 1. Housewife turns assassin when husband dies and she finds out the truth (he's a secret agent). Now she's out for revenge. A mother of three by day and an assassin in between. She has been at it since the birth of her last child which her husband never got back to the hospital to see. It's been five years and when she is finally about to tell her kids the truth. She gets a partner ...more
Dianne
The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

This was an interesting plot device – take one widowed woman with children whose husband was killed while working at something she knew nothing about-have the widow want to get revenge for her husbands death – have her take over his job- and then throw a sexy man into the mix who is supposed to be her late husband. ( because nobody but the heroine knows her husband is dead, not even her kids!)

I loved this book: the feistiness of Donna, the story, the pacing, I
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Mary (BookHounds)
MY THOUGHTS
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT



Donna thinks her husband has a normal job that includes a LOT of travel but it affords her the life she has always dreamed of and then Carl is declared dead while she is at the hospital delivering her third child, she finds out exactly what his job entailed as an assassin. When the money runs out from his job, she finds out the strange truth about what Carl actually did and is drawn in a world of espionage and terrorists. I guess being a mother prepares you for coo
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K.S. Marsden
Now this is a heroine that I can admire. Donna Stone is a mum, running around trying to keep a tidy house and feed her family; she tries not to be late picking up the kids, and watches them proudly. They all happen to live in a perfect community, in which the Stone family seem to be comparatively normal next to the Desperate Housewives, and equally desperate husbands.
But no one knows that she is also an assassin for Acme Industries, and knows a hundred different ways to kill.

The two halves of Do
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Kate Eileen Shannon
I just finished reading The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (funny mystery) (Book #1 - The Housewife Assassin Series) by Josie Brown. How can you not give five stars to a book that starts with: “Any woman can be both the perfect housewife and an accomplished assassin, because both functions require the same qualities: creativity; a never say die attitude; and an attention to details, no matter how small...” This is so laugh out loud ridiculous, it should be a movie with Goldie Hawn as the star – o ...more
Melissa
So excited about this series!
This book frequently popped up in both my amazon, and goodreads recommendations so I finally decided to download it and im so happy I did! I have read tons of funny mystery romantic stories and they all seem to blend together but this series will be in a league of it's own. Yes the premise seems a bit silly, a mom of three who also doubles as an assassin, but somehow it works and dare I say it becomes somewhat believable? It was refreshing having the female lead not
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Marley
As far as I can remember, this is my fist forage into chick lit, although I didn't now that's what I was getting myself in for. If chick let were as good as this book, I might continue to investigate it, but I doubt if I will, since most of the genre isn't about housewives who just happen to be professional assassins for the CIA.

The book has a real Desperate Housewives feel to it which is good. I like like the idea of knocking off a WMS runner at the Cheateau Marmont, and then running to pick y
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Kimberly
I love this series. Josie Brown has managed to embroil her character into the life of a government assassin taking on all that is bad in the world, but has been able to keep her humanity intact. She has allowed Donna to focus on being a good Mom and instilling morals and values to her kids. At one point Donna is put into the position of caring for two men. Her decision appears to some reviewers as being morally wrong, but taken into context with her emotional turmoil of not being allowed to grie ...more
Betsy
One of the Desperate Housewives, in an upper-class L.A. neighborhood, is a government agent. So, between Ballet Class & Little League, she has to run over to a nearby hotel & get rid of a German spy. My favorite part was when she was cavorting in a bikini with Prince Harry, trying to thwart an assassination attempt. Creative writing & pretty interesting reading!
Irene Marie Dawson
Not your everyday household!

housewife and assassin is quite a combination when you think about it. juggling 3 kids,a household ,a dog,and murder keeps one's day quite full. add a plot to blow up a political party,a fake husband,and a championship game for her son's team,marijuana laced cupcakes at a father daughter dance and might say a household's day is never done!
Thibaldo Manrique
Really funny and fun

I enjoy spy novels. This one hooked me with the title and the brief description. It did not disappoint me.

Great characters live in a picturesque setting and go about very serious business in a very funny and entertaining way. Inventive, very original and over all very engaging, it is great book for light reading.

The ending was a little predictable, that's why it got 4 and not 5 stars, but otherwise it is a satisfying read.

This lady knows how to make light of topics that hav
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Pat Frank
This book starts out really well. Interesting plotline - a wife and mother who turns secret agent assassin when he husband is killed and it's revealed he had a secret agent career. As the story opens, Donna has been at her job for awhile and it's apparent she is good at what she does. Balancing the spy with the carpooler is difficult, but she manages for the most part. She's funny and flawed and smart.

Until her character does something so boneheaded and clueless and so not what you expect her to
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Mimi Barbour
Donna Stone’s husband was a CIA operative who was killed on the night their youngest daughter is born. Soon the angry, grieving widow takes on freelance assignments for his old company ACME to avenge his death. A good thing she has this alternative. Being broke can drive a mother of three to many extremes. She soon finds out that she’s a better assassin that she is a housewife. It’s like this – arrange Tupperware or plan someone’s murder?? This book is SO good! It’s written in first person, whic ...more
James M. Sims
I am embarrassed to admit that I even read this bodice ripperesque book, however, amidst the saucy interlude was some pretty hilarious writing. I mean really, how does one go about equating what constitutes successfully performing one's duties as a housewife with being an assassin?
Mary Mullane
I loved the snarky humor and the various helpful housewife ( and assassin) tips that start each chapter. I can't wait to read the other books in this series!
Cindy
I loved this book. It grabbed my attention in the very beginning. I adore how Donna is trying to be a good mommy, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way and she is a bad mommy. I can easily relate to how She tries to be on time to pick up her children from school; has to leave her job in order to be the kids taxi to various activities. The real twist is at the end. I won't spoil it for those of you who have not had a chance to read it. Fantastic, and could be true to real life!!!! I would gi ...more
Kim
Oct 02, 2014 Kim rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: 2014
Funny mystery and romance. She accidentally becomes an assassin.
Emmy Curtis
This book really surprised me. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was hilarious with some real OMG heart-rending moments. I can't remember how this ended up on my Kindle, but I suspect it was free or on sale (Bookbub maybe?), but having read this, I fully intend on getting the rest in the series. I loved how fearless the heroine was, and how she only did things on her own terms, while trying hard to be a good mother to small kids. And the laugh-a-minute lead-ins to the chapters were worth ...more
R.P. Dahlke
First of all, I love the original idea. Broke, and (presumably) widowed, how is Donna going to support her children? Well, she's a crack shot at the firing range, and she's whip smart, and as a wife and mother, she's a whiz at multi-tasking! What mother isn't, right?
Okay, so one must expect to be able to dispense with reality 'cause after all, how realistic is it to expect to find a housewife with a secret job as a CIA assassin, or maybe the author knows something we don't! Read it for laughs.
...more
Julie Fikes
I didn't think I'd like this book. As it turned out, cute and funny with household tips. A housewife doing what she needs to do to support her family and save the world too. I'm on to book 2
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I'm the author of these novels:

The Housewife Assassin Novel Series, including

The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier (Prequel) [June 2014, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Handbook (Book 1)
[2011, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing (Book 2)
[2012, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips (Book 3)
[2012, Signal Press]

The Housewife Assassin's Rela
...more
More about Josie Brown...

Other Books in the Series

The Housewife Assassin (1 - 10 of 11 books)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing (Housewife Assassin, #2)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips (Housewife Assassin, #3)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide (Housewife Assassin, #4)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For (Housewife Assassin, #5)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Recipes for Disaster (Housewife Assassin, #6)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Hollywood Scream Play (Housewife Assassin, #7)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Killer App (Housewife Assassin #8)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Hostage Hosting Tips (Housewife Assassin, #9)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Garden of Deadly Delights (Housewife Assassin, #10)
  • The Housewife Assassin's Tips for Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare (Housewife Assassin, #11)
The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing (Housewife Assassin, #2) The Onesies: Fall (Totlandia, #1) Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide (Housewife Assassin, #4) The Baby Planner

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“Make special memories on this day to honor the father of your children by asking the kids to prepare a special meal. (Note: save the rat poison for another time.) ” 4 likes
“Pies are so much fun to make—and so simple! All it takes to make a tender, flaky crust is the right amount of vegetable shortening, cut into flour with a sprinkle of cold water, and just a pinch of salt. Cherries have the right sweet-to-tart taste—and are also a good source of poison! Just crush the pits or stems. There you’ll find prussic acid, also known as hydrogen cyanide: easy to sprinkle into both the filling and the crust. How sweet it is!” 3 likes
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