Immortal Bird

Feb 22, 2012 Laura rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-mt-bookpile

I just couldn't finish this: what I'd hoped would be about this family's incredible loss has turned into being more about this father's anger (and eidetic memory for anything and everything about his son). This isn't to diminish the pain of losing one's son, or the life he led (and might have led had he lived) but, well, the son didn't come through as the hero of this as much as the father does. Here's an example: there's about four pages of a conversation, remembered verbatim, the author has wi...more

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Mar 03, 2012 LeAnn rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.

Immortal Bird is the story of how NOT to get help from others.

I did not find the father endearing. I felt sympathy for his son but found the father off-putting and narcissistic. Perhaps the doctors and medical providers were wrong, but the way the father went about "getting help" did not make me feel sympathy for him. I didn't particularly care for the writing or the name-dropping towards the end. I didn't enjoy this book or the feeling...more

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May 21, 2013 Lori L (She Treads Softly) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Immortal Bird by Doron Weber is a father's tribute to his son, Damon, who died too early. Damon was born on August 8, 1988 with a congenital heart defect that required two open heart surgeries (the Fontan procedure) when he was a baby. Years later, a month after 9/11, it becomes clear to his vigilant and hyper-alert parents that Damon is not thriving and something else may be wrong. Damon has PLE, protein losing enteropathy.

After exhaustive medical checkups and intensive research by Weber, all...more Immortal Bird by Doron Weber is a father's tribute to his son, Damon, who died too early. Damon was born on August 8, 1988 with a congenital heart defect that required two open heart surgeries (the Fontan procedure) when he was a baby. Years later, a month after 9/11, it becomes clear to his vigilant and hyper-alert parents that Damon is not thriving and something else may be wrong. Damon has PLE, protein losing enteropathy.

After exhaustive medical checkups and intensive research by Weber, all signs seemingly point to the PLE being a result of the Fontan operation. Doron learns that if the medical community cannot find a way to stabilize Damon's PLE, he will eventually need a heart transplant. Finally it became clear that Damon needs the heart transplant, which brings in its wake a whole new set of concerns. One clearly evident failure was the medical community in charge of Damon's case - or rather their lack of taking charge and following through with the proper attentive need for care and concern - and even proper medication.

At the same time that his parents are seeking a way to help him, Damon is clearly maturing and showing himself to have the potential to become a great actor. Even while clearly not well, he still manages to thrive socially as much as he is able to and explore his talents and abilities.

Is this a memoir for everyone? No.

I just don't think this is a memoir I could recommend to some people because they couldn't emotionally handle reading it. For some people Immortal Bird would simple be too painful to read, especially if you have had a family member or close friends struggling to endure and maintain the attentiveness a long-term illness or condition requires. It is a tribute from a heart-broken father to his son that recounts the triumph and the pain. How fragile is our hold on life and yet even a life cut short has value and meaning.

Members of the medical community might want to read it as a cautionary tale on what not to do. There were some cringe-worthy medical moments that could have been avoided.

Highly Recommended - but this is not a book for everyone.

Disclosure: I received an advanced reading copy of this book from Simon & Schuster and TLC for review purposes.

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Jan 07, 2013 Jim Jagielski rated it 1 of 5 stars

Immortal Bird - Review.

How does go about reviewing as personal a tragic book as "Immortal Bird", written by a grieving father about his young son? How does one justify ratings on a memoir of a young man who died too young, and just as things looked the most hopeful? Does such a poignant theme "require" 5 stars, as if giving any less would in some way minimize the tragedy of the events. Or would one cast their rating based on the impact of the book, in which case I would also have to give it a 5...more

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Nov 24, 2012 Jim rated it 5 of 5 stars

‘The Immortal Bird’ leaves you exhausted, but it must be read

I’ve never been in a train wreck, but I think the way I felt as I was finishing reading Doron Weber’s “Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir” surely must be close to that: Shaken, angry and, admittedly, in tears.

“The Immortal Bird” is about a family in crisis, specifically how a father (Doron) deals with the serious heart ailment of his oldest son (Damon, or D-Man as he calls his son throughout). Damon is born without the ventricle that route...more

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Sep 24, 2012 Ciara rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: baby-pregnancy-infertility-parentin, autobio-memoir, read-in-2012

probably more like two & a half stars, but that's the magic of these books about sick or dying kids. you feel bad marking them down too much. especially when you are pregnant & probably shouldn't even be reading about sick or dying kids in the first place.

doron weber's son damon was born with a heart defect. he was missing a valve, so his blood wasn't being oxygenated properly & his heart struggled to pump blood efficiently. additionally, several of his organs were on the wrong side...more probably more like two & a half stars, but that's the magic of these books about sick or dying kids. you feel bad marking them down too much. especially when you are pregnant & probably shouldn't even be reading about sick or dying kids in the first place.

doron weber's son damon was born with a heart defect. he was missing a valve, so his blood wasn't being oxygenated properly & his heart struggled to pump blood efficiently. additionally, several of his organs were on the wrong side of his body. he had a whole bunch of open-heart surgeries as a small child before finally recovering, more or less, & getting to be a regular-ish kid. he's smart, he achieves good marks at school, he likes acting. but weber notices, when damon is around eleven years old, that he's not really keeping pace with his classmates on the growing front. a routine test indicates that damon is suffering from PLE, a somewhat rare complication affecting kids that had the kinds of heart surgeries he had when he was little. if left untreated, PLE is fatal, & the treatments are kind of a crap shoot & can be as dangerous as a heart transplant. the webers cycle through all the treatments, from medication to a surgery to place a hole between two working valves so blood can be oxygenated to more medication. everything seems to work temporarily before damon starts getting sick again. the webers finally conclude that damon needs a heart transplant.

although i read the book in one evening, cover to cover, it moves kind of slowly. i feel that this is because it was written as a kind of catharsis by damon's father. he wanted to capture every moment of what happened with damon's PLE, from the early warning signs, to the treatments that went well, to the treatments that didn't go so well, to the good times damon had while he was sick, to the confusion & despair the family felt. i don't blame the guy at all--i'd undoubtedly have the same impulse in his shoes. it just doesn't make for the most compelling reading for someone who doesn't know damon or anyone else in the family. (less)

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Aug 12, 2012 Alice Meloy rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is a beautifully-written story of a boy's life, written by his
father (who happens to be a professional writer). It chronicles the 16
years of Damon's life, from when he was born without a left ventricle,
through numerous operations and procedures and finally a heart
transplant, to his death as a result of an infection. Lots of medical
detail that shows how obsessed (in a good way) his parents were with
his health. Good description of how his family ( parents and two
younger siblings) functioned d...more

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Jun 30, 2012 Ann rated it 3 of 5 stars

I wanted to like this family memoir written by a father about his wonderful, talented and gifted son. Damon is born with a congenital heart defect, develops complications, and eventually needs a heart transplant, which he doesn't survive b/c they misdiagnose rejection of the heart instead of an infection. I got a great idea of who Damon is and how wonderful he was, but one of my struggles in reading the book was over how much unacknowledged privilege this particular family had. Damon visited spe...more I wanted to like this family memoir written by a father about his wonderful, talented and gifted son. Damon is born with a congenital heart defect, develops complications, and eventually needs a heart transplant, which he doesn't survive b/c they misdiagnose rejection of the heart instead of an infection. I got a great idea of who Damon is and how wonderful he was, but one of my struggles in reading the book was over how much unacknowledged privilege this particular family had. Damon visited specialists all over the country; his father consulted with numerous people, including nobel laureates, about his son's medical history. Experimental treatments were tried when conventional ones failed, and his parents, both highly literate in science, read the research and attended conferences on Damon's fatal complication. It's not a helpful book for navigating the health care system for the average person, and this would be fine, except that the book is written is though any parent can do this for their child, when very very few have the resources for this kind of intervention.

While Weber makes a great case that the Dr.'s failed in Damon's heart transplant, I found myself reading against his interpretation of events and thinking about how the medical *system* failed in Damon's case. B/c heart transplants earn hospitals about 1/2 a million dollars, there were several options for Damon's transplant (b/c they had good insurance), but b/c the Dr.'s that they selected were, as Dr.'s are, stressed for time, etc., they botched aspects of Damon's case. But there was never an acknowledgement that for most of us, choosing a place for a procedure isn't really an option anyway, and there was never an acknowledgement that Damon might have died regardless of how perfect the surgery and after care were.

I appreciate Weber's depiction of his son's extraordinary life, but I wish he had placed Damon's life a bit more in context of the complex U.S. health care system. What I came away with was something I already know--that even when you have money and resources, people still die. (less)

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Jun 17, 2012 Jill rated it 5 of 5 stars

I became more engrossed in this book than I have in any books for years. I finished it about a month ago and it is still with me. A true story about a teenage boy fighting a heart defect and the father who adores him. I was sucked in completely. For one, the writing is excellent. Second, the love the father has for Damon is truly humbling, He should have an honorary medical degree for the amount of medical research he does as Damon's advocate. Third, I was so captivated by the culture they expos...more

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Mar 23, 2012 Kathy rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is a sobering look at what can go wrong when patients' families clash with a powerful medical system. It's the story of adults behaving badly and a child suffering because of it.
This book disturbed me greatly, not only because of the actions of some in the medical profession which were reprehensible; but because of the actions of Damon's own father. Weber was constantly dropping names and expecting preferential treatment ("My friend and mentor Art Singer offers to call up Nobelist Eric Ka...more This is a sobering look at what can go wrong when patients' families clash with a powerful medical system. It's the story of adults behaving badly and a child suffering because of it.
This book disturbed me greatly, not only because of the actions of some in the medical profession which were reprehensible; but because of the actions of Damon's own father. Weber was constantly dropping names and expecting preferential treatment ("My friend and mentor Art Singer offers to call up Nobelist Eric Kandel, a Columbia star, and have him put in a word for Damon"). Weber frequently demanded that doctors who happened to be a "friend of a friend's" drop in on Damon's hospital room, even though these doctors were not involved in Damon's case and could offer no help. Weber frequently got into shouting matches with doctors within Damon's earshot, once causing his naked son to rise from his intensive care bed and come to the defense of his father.
What disturbed me the most was Weber's callous indifference to the heart donor and his/her family. Weber states in one section "I once upset Damon by joking we had to wait for the right person to croak before he could get his new heart." Even after Damon received the heart transplant Weber never acknowledged one thought of gratitude towards the donor and/or the donor's family. Never once did he give a thought to the life of the donor! Not one perfunctory "thank you." I can understand why he may not have later when Damon wasn't doing well, but immediately post transplant Damon was doing well. Seems like many fathers of a young transplant recipient would have given some thought or thanks to the donor's family. Weber refers to the donor heart as a creature and a thing; he calls it a marvel of human engineering. He does not refer to it as an organ that came from a recently deceased person who had the selfless courage to donate his organs. Throughout the book Weber demonstrated an astonshing inflated sense of entitlement!
But I do agree that "even when the doctors and nurses are first rate, as scores are, the system often conspires against them. And when they are less than first-rate, as far too many turn out to be, they can pose a threat to the patient, which must be defended against at all times." I truly believe that Weber went about defending against incompetence in all the wrong ways. It's so sad to read of the suffering his son and family endured. This was just a sad, senseless story on so many levels. (less)

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Mar 04, 2012 Marnie rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. First of all, this story is awful. It is sad and frustrating and maddening. Sure, there are bittersweet and happy memories within the reflection of Damon Weber's life as told by his father, and in fact, the majority of the book is just that. But the last quarter of the book or so is what elicited the frustration for me and made me feel the helplessness the Webers must have felt being at the mercy of an incapable doctor and a flawed medical system.

Damon's father, Doron Weber, tells the story of h...more First of all, this story is awful. It is sad and frustrating and maddening. Sure, there are bittersweet and happy memories within the reflection of Damon Weber's life as told by his father, and in fact, the majority of the book is just that. But the last quarter of the book or so is what elicited the frustration for me and made me feel the helplessness the Webers must have felt being at the mercy of an incapable doctor and a flawed medical system.

Damon's father, Doron Weber, tells the story of his first born son Damon's life, from his first heart transplant at 6 months through the aftermath of his second heart transplant 17 (or so) years later. Granted, this is all told in retrospect and he's gotten criticism for doing this with rose-colored glasses, painting Damon as too perfect. I hardly think that's the point. To any parent, your child IS perfect despite his/her many faults. Often, those faults become what make him who he is, and I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a parent who lost a child paint a picture of the child that doesn't reflect that perfect nostalgia. Doron said "It's surprising what comprises an acceptable quality of life when the alternative is unknown. Never has the status quo looked more appealing and worth hanging on to." Similarly, once you lose a child, I'd imagine that any of those flaws, faults, or imperfections would be welcome and appealing qualities when you consider the alternative of not having them there at all. Ever again.

After 12+ years of relative health, Damon and the Webers are put through a rough 3-4 years as Damon gets diagnosed with another disease, which is linked to his initial heart condition. Damon's dad exhausts every avenue possible, doing extensive research, connecting with many doctors across the country to get expert opinions, and only goes for the heart transplant as a last resort. I'm fairly sure he and his wife never get to fully exhale and relax during any point in these years. At one point he references wanting to worry about his child's cold or a fever, something so "normal" that other parents worry about. Anyway, he is skeptical of the Columbia heart transplant team from the beginning, feeling like they've missed a number of routine things. His calls go unanswered for days. As his son is in emergency state, none of his doctors are around for days. Doron screams at doctors in the hospital trying to get someone, anyone to help them. And due to hospital protocol, they don't. Or they take their sweet ass time in doing so. The frustration Doron feels is palpable, especially since HE (not a doctor) caught some of the things the doctors should've caught. Having to relive those last few months of his son dying, knowing that there were preventable mishaps that this "credible" team of doctors missed has got to be so maddening.

As Doron says, "no one that you love dies once or ever stops not being alive, and nothing you do can change what happened or bring back what's gone." (less)

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Feb 23, 2012 Rene rated it 3 of 5 stars

*Disclaimer* I have a 5 year old daughter with multiple congenital heart defects who has had two surgeries, with more waiting in the wings, and is currently in heart failure. I'm sure this colors my perspective and my review.

I keep vascillating between 3 and 4 stars, because while I see some significant downfalls to this book, I also see some really, really important lessons in this book that are aimed at *everyone*.

First, the biggest challenge to reading this book, for me, was the perspective...more
*Disclaimer* I have a 5 year old daughter with multiple congenital heart defects who has had two surgeries, with more waiting in the wings, and is currently in heart failure. I'm sure this colors my perspective and my review.

I keep vascillating between 3 and 4 stars, because while I see some significant downfalls to this book, I also see some really, really important lessons in this book that are aimed at *everyone*.

First, the biggest challenge to reading this book, for me, was the perspective through which we see Damon. Damon is told through the retrospective devastation of his father. Therefore, it is hard to see through to the fully human person that Damon was; here, he has been enshrined as the "best" "the most perfect" one on whom all accolades were bestowed. In the epilogue, Daron makes a comment along the lines of "Rare is the mother who loves a child like [his wife] loved Damon". Of course, we as readers know this is not true. I'm sure his wife loves her other two children as much as she loved (and still loves) Damon, just like all of us reading this book deeply love our children. The book is full of equivalent statements about Damon and family, and they can be frustrating and disconnecting to read unless you consciously remind yourself that you are reading the words of a man still mourning his son, and writing about him through the lens of that loss, and the hyperbole is his way of struggling to explain how deep, and profound of a loss it is not only to his family, but to the world at large. I felt like there were dimensions here that weren't touched, and a picture of Damon that was only half-painted.

Damon's father is clearly well-connected, highly affluent New Yorker, as evidenced by all the vacations they take, activities they're involved in, and the high profile name dropping that is a frequent occurrence in the book. It can come across as arrogant and "narcissistic", but I'm not in any way convinced that is the case; rather, I see the name dropping as an attempt to make people notice.....really notice and consider this not just another story, but something "important", for Damon's life to have been meaningful and to have mattered.

And where I think Damon's story has something to teach us all is in the last half of the book, when it comes down to the selection of Damon's heart transplant hospital and his subsequent care as things go downhill: it is vital, absolutely imperative and vital, that people understand how hospitals work and how to be able to medically advocate when things go downhill. We don't know what we don't know, and what you don't know can and does kill people, every day. Unfortunately, most of us only learn these skills when it's too late, and we learn them the hard way (and in my daughter's case, I've learned the hard way).

This doesn't just apply to those with critically or chronically sick children, this applies to even the most healthy. While I don't think someone has to wrap their lives up in planning for doomsday scenarios, taking a few brief moments to understand what you might need to know if someone in your family (or yourself) gets sick can literally be the difference between life and death and takes only a few moments of time. The James's project does medical advocacy for infants, and the founder has a great blog post titled "Monsters under my hospital bed" that briefly mentions the most important information you will want to have on hand in case of an emergency hospitalization http://jamessproject.com/blog/save-y.....

This is my "world" so to speak. Congenital heart disease is the #1 birth defect. It kills five times as many children every year as all forms of pediatric cancer combined. Every year, 10% of children born with a CHD won't live to see their first birthday. Every year, between 4-8,000 children die because of their heart defect. Damon joins a very long list of children who have lost the battle, and it's a loss that should sadden us all. (less)

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Aug 22, 2011 Dan Radovich rated it 4 of 5 stars

The death of a child is always tragic, and many biographies have been written by family members after the death of said child. Doron Weber's memoir of his son Damon's life hit me hard. Like most other biogrpahies told by the surviving parent of a deseased child, Weber tells you how wonderful his son was; that is expected. I began reading the book skepitcal as to who Damon Weber was, the glorious redheaded son of Doron and Shealagh just seemed a bit too glorious. My opinion changed after 50 pages...more

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Mar 30, 2013 Heather Berkowitz rated it 5 of 5 stars

This struck very close to home for me, and I could not put it down. It's cliche, but I laughed and cried throughout this book. I grieved, and I felt anger at the hospital's clumsiness regarding Damon. I, too, have a congenital heart defect, and had surgery when I was 5. I'm 26 now, and a few years ago learned that while I'm in the clear now, I will more than likely require a second surgery at some point in the future. I don't remember much from my surgery or the way I felt beforehand, but I coul...more

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Nov 27, 2011 Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars

I knew what this book was going to do to me-I'm nursing the mother of all headaches from crying for half an hour over the last chapter- and yet I'm glad I read this story. Despite the ache in my heart when I finished it I'm glad to have read about this family. Doron Weber wrote a heartbreaking, important recount of his son's ordeal living with a heart condition I won't ever forget. After reading the story you can't help but feel like you've been put through the ringer emotionally but it's a stor...more

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Sep 12, 2012 Julie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Good but not great.
**************I wish the author had acknowledged the donor and the family for their selfless gift. Giving an opportunity to allow his son a chance at a somewhat normal life. Yes, critical errors where made. Inexcusable. But, as a transplant recipient myself, I know there are children and adults out there that have benefitted greatly after receiving a transplanted organ. Don't forget that as you read this book. .**************
The author/father is a Rhodes Scholar, who loves his...more

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Jun 21, 2012 Mark rated it 4 of 5 stars

“ So I gird myself and clutch my firstborn even more fervently in my arms. I will draw deeper from my own well, rely even less on others, and spare no exertion as I scour the earth in search of a cure for Damon”.

Damon Weber was born with a congenital heart defect, that required surgery. He remained healthy until his early teens, when he suddenly came down with a life-threatening illness, related to his earlier heart condition. Damon was a smart, engaging, supremely talented boy.
This is his story...more

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Apr 21, 2012 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars

It's hard to rate this book - on one hand I blew through it in two days because I was interested in the story and appreciated the pacing. Yet like many others who gave this a low rating, I got fed up with all the name dropping and bragging. By the end, it was Enough Already! That the father believed he was more knowledgeable than ALL of the doctors on his son's case was irritating. I was mad when the father talked about how the medical bills were piling up, his wife quit her job due to stress an...more

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Jun 08, 2012 Margaret rated it 3 of 5 stars

I heard about this book while listening to Science Friday last week when host Ira Flatow interviewed Doron Weber. Just what I needed, I thought, a story about a vibrant teenager who dies too young, but then at the library the book popped off the shelf, so I took it home. First, I'll say it is a compelling read. Even though every reader knows from the start that young Damon Weber will die from his effects of his illnesses, one keeps reading through each step of the terrible decline of this child....more I heard about this book while listening to Science Friday last week when host Ira Flatow interviewed Doron Weber. Just what I needed, I thought, a story about a vibrant teenager who dies too young, but then at the library the book popped off the shelf, so I took it home. First, I'll say it is a compelling read. Even though every reader knows from the start that young Damon Weber will die from his effects of his illnesses, one keeps reading through each step of the terrible decline of this child. But that is not the only story here. The author, with whom one simply needs to sympathize because of his situation, turns out to be an arrogant man who squeals, not just at the horrors of the loss of his child (who does not sympathize with him there), but that such horrors could happen to him, a man so privileged and important that the world dare not allow anything untoward to happen to him. His son is clearly a gifted and spirited young man, but the father, that is another story. He is clearly full of his own importance, evidenced by his continual name-dropping and his constant attacks on others. As the head of some foundation, he is clearly used to having his enormous ego stroked by various people in the arts and sciences who need his support for their own work. Yes, his son Damon seems to be a fine actor, and I am sure Damon worked hard on his parts in school plays. It is to Damon's credit that he takes on directing a play at school even though he is too ill to be in school all day. And yes he got a part in Deadwood, but that was due to his father's influence and connections, not his own brilliant acting.

The author does challenge the doctors who serve his son, and here one has to agree that it is the responsibility of the patient (or in this case the patient's father), to do his own research and to make sure that care is going well. So many people have suffered at the hands of careless or overworked doctors; we do need to be vigilant. But the author does not stop there. His contempt for others is also demonstrated when he allows Damon and Damon's friends to read through and mock grant applications of people seeking assistance from the foundation. (Where does Weber get the chutzpah to include this crossing of boundaries?) And he is positively venomous about the rabbis who require more than one year's study in order to make bar mitzvah. Yes, Damon is bright and can learn his Torah and Haftorah sections quickly, but several rabbis apparently do not see a bar mitzvah as simply a performance, but as the culmination of some years of study and devotion to the Jewish religion. The author has Mitt Romney's tone deafness about the privilege that come with have lots of power and money. Weber does say he has to ask for financial assistance, but at the same time, he and his family manage to travel the world for years. The Webers live in a different world from the one most Americans inhabit.

So why give this book even a 3? Because although I have no sympathy for Doron Weber, the man, I have enormous sympathy for Doron Weber, the father who loses his son. Damon, who was saved as an infant and very young child by miraculous interventions by dedicated doctors, still falls victim to the diseases that afflicted him in utero and set him on his long, downhill path. Even the love of his father cannot save this child. And the death of a child is what every parent dreads. The story is by definition powerful and compelling. If only Weber had ended his book with a story or two about the scholarships given in Damon's name, instead of ending with a lawsuit against the doctors. Not that a doctor who fails to follow protocols should not be held accountable, but his own son's story is made smaller by the father's enormous anger.(less)

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Feb 20, 2012 Danielle rated it 4 of 5 stars

Again, I picked up a galley of this book at ALA Midwinter and wound up really enjoying it. It's the true story of Damon Weber written by his father Doron. Damon was born with a congenital heart defect that seemed to have been taken care of during surgery as young child. Yet now entering his teenage years Damon all of a sudden seems to be once again fighting for his life. He is diagnosed with PLE, an illness that a small percentage of people born with his heart defect eventually develop, which de...more

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Jan 31, 2012 Angela rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: ala-2012

Because I needed another reason to hate hospitals and doctors. This father devoted his life to making sure the doctors were doing what they needed to do, and he had the money and connections to make these things happen (for the most part), and still lost his son due to negligence. Which begs the question, how many people have died because their families haven't had the money or connections or intelligence or time this father had? The thing that stood out most strongly for me in this book was tha...more

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Feb 10, 2013 Scott rated it 1 of 5 stars

There are many well-written (negative) reviews of this book elsewhere on Goodreads, so I will not restate (too much) what has been already well said. To summarize my criticism of this book (with the obvious disclaimer that I feel enormous sympathy for the tragedy of a family losing a cherished child):

1) the glaring arrogance and condescension of the author, who pauses not once to acknowledge the many gifts and privileges he and his family enjoy, including affluence, influence and opportunity, n...more

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Feb 23, 2012 Nette rated it 2 of 5 stars

Well, yikes. This is a terribly sad book about the illness and death of child, but it's written like the longest, most annoying Christmas newsletter you've ever received. "I know David Milch, so my son got a plum role on Deadwood! "Here's us vacationing every summer in Scotland!" "Here's Damon meeting Al Pacino!" "My son and his friends spent a Saturday helping me process Rhodes scholarship applications! Ha ha, they enjoyed making fun of the pictures!" (That one really burned me.) More annoying...more

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Feb 26, 2012 Carol rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, memior

From the very start of the book I understood the strength of this family. Doron and Shealagh's love and proactive healthcare for their son, Damon, who was born with a malformed heart, is moving. Damon's health spirals downward with small gains and major setbacks. I admired the story of Damon's coming of age and his spirit and conviction to life. This was truly an inspiring book in which I was awed, angered, confused and deeply saddened.

**** Spoiler Alert *****

This book does not paint a very good...more

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Mar 18, 2012 Fran Connelly rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a poignant story, but it made me think about all the families with children who are dying who do NOT have a lot of money at their disposal and cannot afford one tenth of the care Damon was able to receive. I feel badly for the writer because he loses his son, but he is a little narcissistic. This family clearly had lots of money--yearly vacations in Scotland, a second home, eating out and a big house in Brooklyn--and the gift of good health care. The fact that Damon's doctors were negli...more

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Nov 07, 2011 Wendy Terrien rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a review of the Advance Readers Copy. I'm not sure if they'll change the preview of the book when it is released in 2012, but if you prefer not to know whether Damon wins his battle against his life-threatening illness, stop reading here.

This was a tough read for me, as I think any memoir about the battle to save a child's life is likely to be. Knowing how the book was going to end made it all the more challenging. Given that, and the overall experience of the read, I would have given th...more

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Mar 15, 2012 Pamela Barrett rated it 5 of 5 stars

There is always one; one child, one parent, one sibling, one friend, one pet that you feel closer to. The one who brings joy to your life, who understands you and brings out your best and the one who makes this journey a pleasure, an adventure and the reason you want to see what the day will bring. That was Doron Weber’s son, Damon, whose short life touched him deeply.

In Doron’s family memoir, Immortal Bird, he shows us the definition of sacrificial selfless love. A love he and his wife and two...more

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Dec 07, 2011 Mario rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, nonfiction, account, auto-biographical

I knew pretty early on that this would be a tough book to review. I know that this book will be popular, I can guarantee it. And, in truth, it is everything it should be; heartwarming, heartbreaking, sad, inspiring, etc. If you haven't already read the book, there's a very good chance that you'll love it, so you should probably just go ahead and read it. I, however, while I am well aware that my reaction is probably highly unusual, did not love it.

I'm just going to go ahead and spoiler the bulk...more I knew pretty early on that this would be a tough book to review. I know that this book will be popular, I can guarantee it. And, in truth, it is everything it should be; heartwarming, heartbreaking, sad, inspiring, etc. If you haven't already read the book, there's a very good chance that you'll love it, so you should probably just go ahead and read it. I, however, while I am well aware that my reaction is probably highly unusual, did not love it.

I'm just going to go ahead and spoiler the bulk of this now, partly because there will be a few spoilers, but also because I can't possibly review this without broaching sensitive topics in a not-altogether respectful way. So if you don't want to be spoiled or offended, just stop here.

(view spoiler)[Anyway... isn't it amazing how the children that die are always the best, most amazing children ever? That is the bulk of my problem with this book. You can't get though more than a couple of pages without hearing how extraordinary Damon was, how handsome, how talented, how "responsibility comes naturally to him," how popular he was, and what a great relationship father and son had. I'm not going to say that Weber whitewashed Damon's life, and (obviously I did not know Damon, so I am really not in a position to say) it is entirely possible that Damon was the real perfect, amazing person that everyone else pretends their lost child was. But, to me, it feels like Weber is just too close to the subject. The book feels dishonest.

Of course, most of that could be explained away by the different kind of life that sick children are forced to live. When you have far too little energy to get out of bed most days, it isn't hard to stay out of trouble so you end up looking like a model child regardless of your inclinations. I was sick myself around that same age, so I knew a lot about what he was going through (I saw the entire IVIg episode, for instance, coming a mile away). (view spoiler)

But it goes beyond that. For instance, anytime Damon's friend Kyle (a girl, if that matters to you) shows up, Weber makes a point of playing up the romantic possibilities and the idea that she's his "soul mate," even though there is, at no time, any hint of an actual romantic connection between the two. Again, I wasn't there, but it seemed like it was far more likely to be the fantasy of a sad, grieving father than something real. In short, Weber does not strike me as an entirely reliable narrator.

So that was my problem. I feel like I, as a reader, was robbed a little of getting to know the real Damon because he was hidden behind his father's blindness and wishful thinking. Really, this is a story about Weber as a father far more than it is about Damon as a son, but Weber does not seem to appreciate how much of the story is colored by his biased perception.
(hide spoiler)]

I also had a minor writing style issue. Whenever danger approached (view spoiler), I always found myself having to go back and read the last couple of sentences again because I didn't realize there had been any danger at all until it was already being resolved. I don't know if Weber was too sudden or too subtle, but since it happened more than once, I'm not inclined to blame myself.

Again, though, I'm sure that most people will love it, particularly if you have ever had to go through something similar.

I received this free through Goodreads First Reads (thanks!).(less)

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Mar 25, 2012 Lori Wilson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Initially, I was afraid to read this book as it dealt with a frightening subject; the death of a child. This family has the resources to be able to do just about anything to help their son fight the heart problems he was born with. The boy's father learns everything he can about his son's condition to the point where he often knows more than the medical staff treating him. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has a chronic medical condition requiring many different doctors and hospit...more

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Jan 29, 2012 Manda Danyele rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, first-reads

I received an Advanced Reader's Copy of Immortal Bird from Simon & Schuster publishing company. So naturally I made this book a top priority and I finished it within 3 days of starting. I knew that it would be a hard book to read but I am very happy to have received it and read about Damon's Story. Disclaimer: This review is my honest thoughts. Receiving this free ARC had nothing to do with how I read or thought of this memoir.

Damon, Doron and the rest of his family went through something I...more

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title link	preview: Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir
avg rating	preview: Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir Goodreads rating: 3.72 (373 ratings)
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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11390633-immortal-bird?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1326208215l/11390633.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11390633-immortal-bird?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir by Doron Weber[/url]

Immortal Bird: A Family Memoir

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