Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life

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Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life

by Sandra Beasley (Goodreads Author)

3.56 of 5 stars 3.56 · rating details · 1,007 ratings · 263 reviews

A beautifully written and darkly funny journey through the world of the allergic.

Like twelve million other Americans, Sandra Beasley suffers from food allergies. Her allergies—severe and lifelong—include dairy, egg, soy, beef, shrimp, pine nuts, cucumbers, cantaloupe, honeydew, mango, macadamias, pistachios, cashews, swordfish, and mustard. Add to that mold, dust, grass an...more A beautifully written and darkly funny journey through the world of the allergic.

Like twelve million other Americans, Sandra Beasley suffers from food allergies. Her allergies—severe and lifelong—include dairy, egg, soy, beef, shrimp, pine nuts, cucumbers, cantaloupe, honeydew, mango, macadamias, pistachios, cashews, swordfish, and mustard. Add to that mold, dust, grass and tree pollen, cigarette smoke, dogs, rabbits, horses, and wool, and it’s no wonder Sandra felt she had to live her life as “Allergy Girl.” When butter is deadly and eggs can make your throat swell shut, cupcakes and other treats of childhood are out of the question—and so Sandra’s mother used to warn guests against a toxic, frosting-tinged kiss with “Don’t kill the birthday girl!”

It may seem that such a person is “not really designed to survive,” as one blunt nutritionist declared while visiting Sandra’s fourth-grade class. But Sandra has not only survived, she’s thrived—now an essayist, editor, and award-winning poet, she has learned to navigate a world in which danger can lurk in an unassuming corn chip. Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl is her story.

With candor, wit, and a journalist’s curiosity, Sandra draws on her own experiences while covering the scientific, cultural, and sociological terrain of allergies. She explains exactly what an allergy is, describes surviving a family reunion in heart-of-Texas beef country with her vegetarian sister, delves into how being allergic has affected her romantic relationships, exposes the dark side of Benadryl, explains how parents can work with schools to protect their allergic children, and details how people with allergies should advocate for themselves in a restaurant.

A compelling mix of memoir, cultural history, and science, Don’t Kill the Birthday Girl is mandatory reading for the millions of families navigating the world of allergies—and a not-to-be-missed literary treat for the rest of us.

From the Hardcover edition.(less)

ebook, 240 pages

Published July 12th 2011 by Broadway

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May 03, 2012 karen rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: eats, nonfictions

another firstreads book i was denied!!

this one is about a woman with so many food allergies, it makes my head spin: all dairy, eggs, soy, beef, shrimp, pine nuts, cucumbers, cantaloupe, honeydew, mango, macadamia nuts, pistachios, cashews, swordfish, mustard... and not just eating them - sitting at a table where cheese once touched - eating from "contaminated" plates, secret ingredients in spice blends or poorly-labeled drinks... it is horrible! i don't know anyone with severe food allergies, an...more

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Jun 06, 2012 Melissa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Let's all be happy, for the entire rest of today, that we do not have catastrophic food allergies, shall we? Assuming that you don't, that is. I am planning on being grateful for the rest of my life that my son doesn't appear to be allergic to anything - I have certainly never lived through the horror of seeing him rub cake frosting on his tiny face, which then raises welts in the exact shape of the frosting smears. Good grief! I'm not particularly enamored of Sandra Beasley because of some of t...more

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Apr 21, 2013 Leanna E. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a surprising read for me. Why? Because I had a preconceived idea about the content of the book. I expected to find a story of severe allergies (I did) and a belief that everyone should change their lives to accommodate the person with allergies (I didn't). This book had balance.

Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an allergic life by Sandra Beasley expanded my knowledge of allergy research and gave me food for thought (pun intended). I haven't always known that I had food allergies...more

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Apr 06, 2013 Ellyn rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013

This is a memoir about living with severe food allergies. The author is allergic to dairy, eggs, soy, beef, a variety of nuts and melons, and many other things. Her dairy allergy is so severe that if someone eats dairy and uses the phone, and then she uses it hours later, she’ll have a reaction. Exposure to a plate or a knife that has touched one of her allergens can cause her to become violently ill. Kissing her boyfriend, sharing a drink to celebrate a friend’s engagement, eating in a restarua...more

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Mar 29, 2013 Molly rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

There's a nice balance between the memoir and research journalism in this book and Beasley moves between the two seamlessly. I am glad she made nods to the difficulties parents go through in parenting in general, let alone to adapt to others' allergies (soon enough, so much will be restricted to nothing--we are living in such a regulated culture, where some makes sense--warnings of food and latex and other allergies--to a bit more frustrating--not allowing kids to bring their own lunches to scho...more There's a nice balance between the memoir and research journalism in this book and Beasley moves between the two seamlessly. I am glad she made nods to the difficulties parents go through in parenting in general, let alone to adapt to others' allergies (soon enough, so much will be restricted to nothing--we are living in such a regulated culture, where some makes sense--warnings of food and latex and other allergies--to a bit more frustrating--not allowing kids to bring their own lunches to school so the kids are regulated by the government's choice of healthy, the sheer amount of testing, and on), though I didn't think she needed to. It's not as if Beasley and others suffering from severe allergies are doing this by choice, or by moral elimination, or by anything other than birth, so having to take these precautions is a given. Perhaps I've learned to be more sympathetic in that one of my closest friends is a vegan, which meant her time at a writers' conference was fraught and the waiters / cooks were not always compassionate or cautious, sometimes simply sweeping the cheese off the top of a dish, leaving her incredibly sick for the night. (Once we give up dairy, our system has a dramatically difficult time returning to it.)

And this book allowed me to do a bit of surface research, causing me to discover my five-week-old son's "infant acne" was actually eczema, and I'm grateful to know this, to know to treat it.

There's a moment towards the end of the book where Beasley mentions how these allergies can complicate a relationship with a parent--a child who cannot breastfeed, a mother or father who has to become more vigilant as her/his caring (his/her cooking) can be dangerous, a kiss from child to parent can hurt that parent, etc., and I wish that had been more explored in the book. There were other elements I thought could have been explored: more of the ways the body is metaphor, more sensory language (particularly when discussing adult food--her attending a food festival that had Food Network stars and the bowls-for-four she'd make for herself), etc. This wasn't the point of the book--instead, it felt more of an informative entity, but Beasley is a poet, and I think I'd fallen in love with Sarah Manguso's The Two Kinds of Decay, so there is a kind of unfair expectation of more weaving and poetic call and response. If Beasley weren't also an accomplished poet, would I be more content with the straightforward language? Probably. It's tricky.(less)

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Jan 05, 2013 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I've seen - plenty of times - the unconscious frown of a waitress when you ask for a minor change (no onions) to a recipe. Imagine having to do that any time you go out to eat because those ingredients could kill you.

Given all of the current news reports on schools creating peanut-free leper colonies, teenagers dying from contaminated kisses, and the rise of gluten-free everything, this book seems very timely. It gives a great glimpse into how difficult managing an allergy, or multiple allergies...more

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Jul 11, 2012 Angel rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I will never ever complain if I have to live with a dietary restriction. NEVER.

I have a large family and there are allergy problems. However, nothing compared to what Sandra Beasley lives with.

I really felt bad for Sandra and her parents. It is a very terrifying feeling when someone is having a reaction. You learn what the procedures are and then you move forward trying to prevent the same thing from happening again.

I have recently been exposed to two young infants (family). Both with allergie...more

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Feb 03, 2012 Nancy Kennedy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It's tough to cook for people these days -- allergies galore, vegetarians, caffeine and sugar free folks, gluten sensitivities, lactose intolerances. It's easy to view all of this negatively, as if these overly fussy folks were willfully making our lives hard... and somehow perversely enjoying it.

But Sandra Beasley illuminates the terrors and complexities of the allergic life in such a winning way that you might just let go of your resentments. Until I read this book, I just couldn't imagine how...more

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Dec 09, 2011 K.K. rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-book-log

The power of this book is that (while reading it) it unwittingly transformed many of the foods I lifted to my mouth into a hidden poison, and I would flinch before I remembered that I am not allergic to any foods. My empathy levels were on full capacity, partly because I am such a good person I'm sure, but mainly because Sandra did such an effective job of describing her allergic reactions, her anticipation of allergic reactions, and her social anxiety about having allergic reactions.

She also p...more

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Dec 08, 2011 Angela rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a very insightful read. The author, who is allergic (life threatening allergies) to at least 2 doz. individual foods, not to mention numerous food groups, such as all dairy, lends a humorus tone to the book. She tells of navigating life while avoiding all these potentially lethal foods. Not only must she avoid the foods, but also everything and everybody that has come in contact with the substance. As the only allergic child (out of 3) she tells how her unique and truly limited diet impa...more

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Oct 03, 2011 Jane rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

As the mother of an extremely allergic daughter and as a long-time fan of Sandra Beasley (since she spent a small fraction of her junior year excelling in my class), I completely enjoyed this book. Sandra explains everything you ever needed to know about allergies, and more than I ever knew. Having observed my daughter break out in hives when the wrong food touched her lips, I can vouch for the veracity of Sandra's descriptions of her allergic reactions. She is a very brave woman who, when I kne...more

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Aug 04, 2011 Jennifer Short rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Have you ever read a book that made you want to eat an omelet with hazelnut chocolate sauce with a glass of soy milk? Well, I never had until I read this book! I wanted to celebrate being able to eat these foods! In Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life , Sandra Beasley presents a sad but at the same time humorously written account of life with multiple food allergies. Weddings? As careful as she is, nearly half of them have left her gasping for air during an allergic attack....more

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Jul 15, 2011 Jackie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: cooking-crafting, formative, work-review-related-reading

It was the title that caught me. I was just going to skim through it to get an overview, but I quickly got pulled in by Beasley's honest and quirky writing style as well as the amazing amount of information that she's packed into this book. I've been affiliated with the food industry for a big chunk of my life, and the issues covered in this book address that side of things, as well as the terrifying realities of living with multiple and severe food allergies.

Beasley really got the short end of...more

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Jun 29, 2011 Jaime Lee rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011

I'll admit. In the past I was always the person standing off to the sidelines thinking, "Are you serious?" when a friend listed off the foods to which he or she was allergic and then shared the extent to which they must take precautions against a reaction. I witnessed so many of the people in my life claiming 'allergy' when in fact they merely had an intolerance or worse, simply a dislike, that I became desensitized to the fact that there are so many children and adults out there who truly need...more I'll admit. In the past I was always the person standing off to the sidelines thinking, "Are you serious?" when a friend listed off the foods to which he or she was allergic and then shared the extent to which they must take precautions against a reaction. I witnessed so many of the people in my life claiming 'allergy' when in fact they merely had an intolerance or worse, simply a dislike, that I became desensitized to the fact that there are so many children and adults out there who truly need to watch every bite.

After reading Ms. Beasley's memoir I feel as though my eyes have been opened. I have a much better understanding of the differences between a 'true allergy', an intolerance, etc. I believe that having the knowledge from this book will help me to be more aware of the difficulties that many of my friends endure, ones I'm lucky enough to be able to not worry about personally.

Armed with the many facts, figures and anecdotes shared in this book I will now also be able to remark to others that their dislike of peanuts is a far cry from an allergy to peanuts and that, perhaps, it's not such a good idea for them to make a stink in a restaurant about not having nuts touch their plates. Beasley made an excellent point about the case of the proverbial 'boy crying wolf' in these instances - If a restaurant is constantly being forewarned of 'allergies' from patrons who really aren't suffering from them, then those who do need special consideration when their food is being prepared run the risk of not getting the special treatment they really do require. That's a deadly gamble to be taking and a scenario that I feel people would do well to remember.

In our society the term 'allergy' is running rampant. I think this book did an excellent job of putting things into perspective. Many of us many have intolerances or dislikes to certain foods. And certainly, no one enjoys the scratchy feeling in their eyes during the height of hay fever season. However, there are really people out there who run the risk of having their throats close if they are exposed to allergens that are truly toxic to their bodies. I think this book serves as a great reminder that many people out there should be grateful that their 'allergies' don't hinder their lives in the same way that Ms. Beasley's have for her. (less)

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Jun 02, 2011 Kelly Hager rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Part anecdotal memoir and part scientific piece, this is about what it's like to grow up living with a variety of food allergies. Beasley is allergic to a variety of things, including (but not limited to) dairy, egg, beef, soy, shrimp and a variety of nuts and melons. Because her list of allergies is extensive, it can be hard for her to do things like, say, eat at a restaurant or even at a friend's house.

We are the same age, and I don't remember anyone in my elementary school classes suffering f...more

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Apr 27, 2012 Rohan Maitzen rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

My daughter has a severe peanut and tree nut allergy and a fairly serious egg allergy. I'm a worry-wart by nature (just ask my kids!) but worrying about her allergies has added a whole different dimension to worry-warting. I am working hard, though, to be realistic and constructive, and to train her to navigate as safely as possible in a world that is not and should not be nut and egg free. The biggest challenge is finding the right line between taking precautions and being prepared--and figurin...more My daughter has a severe peanut and tree nut allergy and a fairly serious egg allergy. I'm a worry-wart by nature (just ask my kids!) but worrying about her allergies has added a whole different dimension to worry-warting. I am working hard, though, to be realistic and constructive, and to train her to navigate as safely as possible in a world that is not and should not be nut and egg free. The biggest challenge is finding the right line between taking precautions and being prepared--and figuring out what's reasonable to hope for or expect in terms of accommodation. I have never seen a topic attract as much vitriol as this one on comment threads: I get really depressed about the people who feel there's no sacrifice to their convenience worth making to help protect someone vulnerable in this way. Happily, in real life I have found pretty much everybody would rather be helpful than not. We don't try to create a safe bubble for our daughter, but it sure makes her life more fun and ours more relaxing if, just for instance, the cake at a birthday party is not laced with peanut butter. We always send along safe options for her, though, and she brings benadryl and her epipen along at all times. Now that she's older, she takes more responsibility herself, including reading lists of ingredients and declining food if someone can't show her that list. "Don't assume," is our number one safely rule, and "no epi-pen, no food" is the other.

But it's one thing to convince yourself (and her) that she'll be OK if she's sensible and prepared, and another to control the anxiety. So there's lots to appreciate about this memoir, including the author's frank descriptions of how difficult her allergies made her life, and her parents'. She has a much wider range of allergies than my daughter, and reading her story I felt selfishly grateful that my daughter's are fewer and more or less easier to control for. The technical stuff about allergies was not that interesting because we're more or less familiar with it. The author is rightly emphatic that people who claim to have allergies but don't aren't helping people with life-threatening ones get taken seriously. At the same time, she makes some good arguments about problems with attempts to create allergen-free zones--she is, or at least positions herself as, an advocate for good information and sensible policies, a moderate (despite the severity of her own allergies) amidst extremists on both sides.

This all seems like a good way to go forward, except that I felt, reading along, that her repeated insistence that she knows the world does not revolve around her allergies (e.g. she can't and shouldn't try to control other people's choices, homes, air plane snacks, lunch boxes, etc.) is undermined by her many, many stories of derailing outings, vacations, parties, and so on by having reactions severe enough to require trips to the hospital. Her determination to get out there and live with everybody else has clearly had consequences for everybody else and I wondered if eating out a lot (she spends a lot of time talking about restaurant food) and either having reactions or sending plates back that weren't prepared quite as specified is really as non-confrontational as all that. Is it really better to end up curled on the floor ill and needing rescue from parties than to negotiate safer food choices with your friends? In her case, given the range of her allergies, maybe there's just no degree of compromise possible and I can see resolving that it's worth some risks not to live like a hermit. But couldn't you ask your boyfriend to give up milk if the option is not kissing you? Which would he really prefer? Live and let live sounds like a good policy but it doesn't really operate as 'let live' in practice. But these are really tough choices and negotiations.(less)

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Aug 31, 2011 Betsy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

LOVED this memoir. Beasley has a candid and conversational style of writing which was engaging throughout the work. I loved the research that was woven into her memoirs as a severe allergy sufferer. As an educator, I found this book to be invaluable and it raised new points to which I've never considered regarding students and their food allergies. In fact, I would argue that teacher preparation programs should incorporate this topic into their curriculums. For instance, as an instrumental music...more

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Jul 23, 2011 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

An enlightening (and quick!) read about someone with severe food allergies and how on earth she gets through life. Should be eye-opening for those who "don't believe in" allergies. The woman erupts in hives if someone who just ate a dairy product kisses her on the cheek... there's no faking that.

I enjoyed reading her anecdotes about various reactions in various inconvenient places, and how they occurred. It could be as minor as eating something with the same knife used to cut something she was a...more

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Sep 24, 2011 Candy rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

As someone that suffers from food and environmental allergies, when this book became available, I jumped at the chance to read it. Like the author, many foods cause anaphylaxis for me. Unlike the author, mine are all related to Oral Allergy Syndrome and I'm not allergic to near the number of things that she is. So, I'm coming from a place of mostly understanding while reading it. No one can explain the amount of panic that occurs when you realize your throat is closing up and your mouth is on fi...more As someone that suffers from food and environmental allergies, when this book became available, I jumped at the chance to read it. Like the author, many foods cause anaphylaxis for me. Unlike the author, mine are all related to Oral Allergy Syndrome and I'm not allergic to near the number of things that she is. So, I'm coming from a place of mostly understanding while reading it. No one can explain the amount of panic that occurs when you realize your throat is closing up and your mouth is on fire from itching.

I'll be honest and say that I was expecting a real "woe is me" tale here. I expected her to stomp her foot and want the entire world to revolve around her and her allergies and expect that all restaurants should ban beef just because she was in the area. I expected this to be one big whine fest with the author on a quest to ban tree nuts from the entire continent. We've all read books where the author is on a mission and I somehow thought this would be one of them.

Imagine my surprise when it was none of those things. Oh, she's definitely a bit of an activist, but I think Sandra leads more to wanting people to understand and wanting restaurants to give full disclosure. What struck me the most is that while she has some REAL issues with food - seriously scary stuff - she understands that the world doesn't revolve around her problems. She is understanding when she realizes that a chef cut cantaloupe with the same knife as her strawberries or whatever. Not once did I hear her rail against others, but it was more of internal monologue. She talked about how she needed to adapt her life to fit around others.

At the same time, you can tell that her friends and family genuinely appreciate the way she chooses to live her life. They try to make things that she can eat too, to cook around her allergies. I enjoyed hearing about her life, especially as a child. My allergies didn't show up until adulthood, so it kind of made me also realize what the parents must go through of children who have serious food allergies - and multiple ones on top of that.

I also absolutely loved that she took time to go through some of the science of allergies - mast cells - proteins, etc etc. While I knew most of it, it felt really nice to have someone explain on it a "real life" level instead of using big words and making my eyes cross.

Most of all, I enjoyed her attitude, as I've mentioned. She truly has a great way of handling things and a great way of looking at the way she chooses to lead her life. I'd recommend this for anyone with allergies or for someone with a loved one in their lives that has allergies. It gives you a true look into what it's like to live your daily life with severe food allergies. It'd be great for a fan of memoirs in general as well. (less)

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Sep 26, 2012 Shana rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It’s amazing that Beasley has managed to live into adulthood given the multitude of allergies she suffers from: dairy, egg, soy, beef, and mango to name a few. Compounded by asthma, Beasley is constantly battling hives, itchy throats, rashes, and anaphylaxis. It’s hard for me to imagine what it must be like to have to be so watchful about what I eat and what food is around me at all times. The worst reaction I ever get is an itchy rash on my inner forearms, and that happens maybe three times a y...more

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Nov 17, 2011 Glennie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-reads

I'm giving this book 5 stars because I felt like I could really relate to the Author. Thankfully my allergies have never been as severe as hers, but there were still a lot of "oh yeah" moments. One moment that really touched me was when her grandfather dismissed her allergies as somewhat minor. Sandra, at 3 years old, dipped one finger in some cottage cheese, drew a line on her face, and within seconds, hives appeared. Grandpa became a believer then. I grew up with a father who thought allergies...more I'm giving this book 5 stars because I felt like I could really relate to the Author. Thankfully my allergies have never been as severe as hers, but there were still a lot of "oh yeah" moments. One moment that really touched me was when her grandfather dismissed her allergies as somewhat minor. Sandra, at 3 years old, dipped one finger in some cottage cheese, drew a line on her face, and within seconds, hives appeared. Grandpa became a believer then. I grew up with a father who thought allergies were all in my head and a very dietary-overprotective mother. I endured allergy shots every week, given to me by my father who thought it was all a waste of time and money, and believe me, he was NOT gentle with the shots. Forget the chocolate cake and ice cream at birthday parties. I got a vanilla cupcake and sherbert. It was also difficult dealing with people who acted insulted just because you asked what was in their home-baked goodie before you took a bite and all the people who thought you could eat just a little bit. I'll tell ya,, NO, you can't. I can't pick the peanuts out of a can of mixed nuts cuz the other oils have touched the peanuts and I'll have a reaction. I remember reading an article on allergies when I was 12 where the author had an anaphylaxis reaction from ONE peanut. Even his doctor was amazed that it only took one nut. It had a profound effect on me. That being said, if I haven't bored you, I'm rather sensitive on the subject of allergies. The public is somewhat better about dealing with allergies, but I still find that going to restaurants can be a nuisance when the staff cannot tell me if there are walnuts in the apple pie. I can only imagine if I needed to suss out every little bit of egg/dairy/wheat. UGH!
My favorite Chapter was probably Kiss of Death. I had a reaction from kissing my boyfriend hours after he had eaten ONE Brazil nut. Thankfully it was a minor reaction, but I do remember screaming at him: "What did you eat?" People have thought I was crazy when I told that story, but Sandra confirms that in her book that, yes, it can and does happen.
Thankfully I have outgrown many of my childhood allergies, but it doesn't always happen as Sandra tells in her story.
This book contained not only tales of her life, but also some science. How reactions happen. Different types of reactions. (19% of anaphylaxis attacks require 2 Epipen shots. Bet your insurance won't pay for more than one.) Being able to eat a food in one form (cooked) but not another, or being unable to tolerate it in any form, including any particles left on a plate or on someone's hands. What's going on in research. How the schools are handling allergic kids and how to stand up for your children's rights and protect them.
I would definitely recommend this book for anyone with allergies, gluten intolerance, or any other type of dietary issues.(less)

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Feb 10, 2013 Alice rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2013, nonfiction, memoir

I read this for a book club in February. I certainly wouldn't have picked it up on my own, though I did learn a few things.

Sandra Beasley has severe allergies to several foods, among them milk, nuts, soy, and eggs. Her reactions close up her windpipe, give her hives, make her throw up or have diarrhea, and generally alienate her from social events and restaurants. Despite all that, she's determined to still travel, eat in restaurants, and hang out with her friends. Miracles within the book come...more I read this for a book club in February. I certainly wouldn't have picked it up on my own, though I did learn a few things.

Sandra Beasley has severe allergies to several foods, among them milk, nuts, soy, and eggs. Her reactions close up her windpipe, give her hives, make her throw up or have diarrhea, and generally alienate her from social events and restaurants. Despite all that, she's determined to still travel, eat in restaurants, and hang out with her friends. Miracles within the book come from a sympathetic waiter, a vegan friend, and the constant vigilance of her mother.

I can't imagine what it must be like to not only look out for what I eat, but where that food came from, what everyone else eats, and what my food has touched. I found myself craving ice cream and cheese and cupcakes, just from the knowledge there's someone who can't enjoy them.

I also learned a lot about the psychology of allergies: why my friends with food allergies will try a little of something they know they're allergic to, knowing they'll deal with the consequences later. Why a person would rather go to the hospital than use an Epi-pen. Why mothers of children with allergies are hyper-vigilant.

The transition between folksy (and sometimes terrifying) anecdotes about reactions and the science behind them aren't always smooth. It may be because this was my bedtime reading, but I didn't always follow the technical jargon. Beasley uses medical abbreviations that are her whole life, but that made me scratch my head. I followed it well enough, and I suppose this works well as an introduction. But, it is neither textbook nor simple memoir. The packaging indicates it's the latter, while some of the language seems to indicate the former.

Overall, I learned a few things, and I found this to be more readable than I'd expected. The narrative is broken up well, and the sections on science are fairly short.

If you know someone with allergies and you'd like to understand more of how his or her life works, I'd recommend giving this a read. It's fairly quick and entertaining. I'm sure there are much drier books on the subject.(less)

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Mar 11, 2012 Beth rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gpoy, non-fiction

This book is both a validation of what I go through in my life an a clarion call and warning of how bad things could have been, and why I'm as careful as I am. I am, thankfully, not as sensitive as Sandra Beasley and will not have an allergic reaction from someone touching me after eating something I am allergic too. I will not get sick if the slightest drop of milk touches my plate. However, if you put cheese on my sandwich, I need a new one thank you very much, as I do itch like crazy and get...more This book is both a validation of what I go through in my life an a clarion call and warning of how bad things could have been, and why I'm as careful as I am. I am, thankfully, not as sensitive as Sandra Beasley and will not have an allergic reaction from someone touching me after eating something I am allergic too. I will not get sick if the slightest drop of milk touches my plate. However, if you put cheese on my sandwich, I need a new one thank you very much, as I do itch like crazy and get tight throat when I eat milk. (I have, in a pinch, removed the cheese and everything that touched it from a sandwich, leaving me with half as much sandwich--I'd have totally yelled at the restaurant in question, but they were on the other side of a very long security line--and pretty much nothing on that side was edible.)

This is also about enjoying life and navigating the issues of it-- from the idiot waiters who don't want to deal with you and are total jerks to the rock star waiters (unsurprisingly in a 5 star restaurant in New Orleans) who manage to, with the chef, I'm sure, manage to modify the house specialty just enough that you can actually eat it. The friends who go through all sorts of hoops because they want you in their lives and know what you need, to the blood relatives who simply refuse to get it.

If you're allergic to any foods, this book is part explanation, part discussion of experimental treatment, but mostly anecdotes of life with food allergies-- along with travel tips that I may possibly take to heart. (Right now I fear to go to non-English speaking countries other than Israel, where 1) I sort of almost speak the language and 2) there's a high enough Jewish population that I could probably skate by by visiting only Kosher restaurants with meat.) Along with validation of your vigilance: this is what happens through lapses.

My goal of never having to carry an epipen never seemed less pathetic than while reading this book.

If you're not allergic to food, but you know someone who is, this is a great way to get a look inside their heads, and understand why they are so careful.

Either way, it's an engrossing, lively read.

(less)

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Dec 04, 2011 Beverly rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Devoured this book, such a quick read! Don't have the same allergies as the author but many foods send me racing to the Benadryl and praying I don't have to use the EpiPen. Glad to know my 24hr limit of Benadryl is 12(300mg). I've come close to the limit but not exceeded yet.

While reading this book I could be overheard, laughing (some funny anecdotes), and enthusiastically agreeing "I KNEW it!" or "YES!" when reading a particular scientific fact or Sandra reaction. Felt validation for having som...more

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Feb 11, 2012 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Can you imagine not being able to eat birthday cake, pizza, mangos, peanuts, or anything dairy? Or if you can't already do you wonder what its like for other people? This is a memoir for you. Ms. Beasley tells all about her years as a young child and her years as an adult doing research to learn about her allergies.

From the first chapter "Don't Kill the Birthday Girl:Tales from an Allergic Life" caught my attention. The attention to detail and the way in which the stories are told show the annoy...more

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Nov 09, 2011 Christi Craig rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

"My mother, the lab scientist. . . . (My mother, the detective)."

With those two lines, I was hooked, unwilling to put down Sandra Beasley's memoir about life with food allergies. Not because I suffer from dietary restrictions of any kind (save a finicky taste bud or two), but because I am the mother of a child with food allergies. DON'T KILL THE BIRTHDAY GIRL may be written from the perspective of the person with food allergies, but I could relate well to many the stories inside.

Beasley's book g...more

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Jul 19, 2011 Erin Landers rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-books

Interesting book, it has a lot of information on allergies in addition to the personal stories relating to them. Any foodie should definitely read this book.

Beasley goes into, among other things, the whole peanut allergy fiasco that is still going on today - how some are trying to ban the iconic peanut butter and jelly sandwich from schools. The author's opinion seems to be that she doesn't understand why peanut allergies are getting all the media attention when there are in fact eight main, co...more Interesting book, it has a lot of information on allergies in addition to the personal stories relating to them. Any foodie should definitely read this book.

Beasley goes into, among other things, the whole peanut allergy fiasco that is still going on today - how some are trying to ban the iconic peanut butter and jelly sandwich from schools. The author's opinion seems to be that she doesn't understand why peanut allergies are getting all the media attention when there are in fact eight main, common allergies.

What is really interesting about allergies is that there is such a broad scope with them - some foods you can be more allergic to than others, you can outgrow allergies, you can develop them later on, you can have a "fake" bad reaction, you can have a worse reaction one time than other, you can have a reaction hours after being exposed to the allergen, etc, etc, etc. For example, a person allergic to soy can probably handle it in small amounts (the author says she dips her sushi in soy sauce with no problem despite being allergic). But if you're allergic to peanuts, for instance, you like, can't even be in the same room as a peanut.

Another interesting topic covered: the complexity of hidden ingredients in foods (potentially bad news for vegetarians). In the case of a person severely allergic to egg, using the same cutting board or knife or fork that has touched the egg can produce traces of egg in another dish without meaning to - something that is untraceable to most, but can cause a person allergic to egg to break into hives or even go into anaphylaxic shock. Should egg, in that case, be listed on the ingredient list? I feel like I could have used a better example there, but you get the point.

All in all very good book, but I would have liked to see slightly more anecdotal stories and slightly less medical terminology.

I do have slightly more respect for my ex boyfriend after reading this book, who has several food allergies in addition to severe acid reflux, and who constantly drove me nuts with his food requirements. =P(less)

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Jul 12, 2011 Jessica at Book Sake rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I am an allergy sufferer. I don’t remember a day of my life that I wasn’t sniffling or sneezing. I live in Florida and I’m allergic to it. This book made me realize how lucky I am. Yep, lucky. The poor “Allergy Girl” has it worse. All of the food allergies she has would make me break down into tears. The book is a funny, quick read that is also very informative. The author revisits events in her life where the allergies took over and shows us that the sufferer can overcome the “disabilities”.

If...more

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Jun 01, 2012 Lorel rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Sandra Beasley's first love is poetry, and it shows in her lyrical, flowing prose. She presents a very personal account of life with severe food allergies with a humor and nonchalance that make this book a very enjoyable read. Her stories bring up issues I had never even considered, such as how it feels to be the only kid who can't have a birthday cupcake, how the threat of an allergy attack affects intimate relationships, and how difficult it is to be constantly questioning whether the next bit...more

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Nov 26, 2011 Jennifer Bloom rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I rather enjoyed this book. Having been two years old and in full anaphylactic shock at the pediatrician's office, requiring several shots of adrenaline to ward off death I have certain amount of sympathy for the author. Although, I have only one real food allergy, coconut, that can cause death I don't have to navigate that many twists and turns. However, some obnoxious friends made a cruise rather interesting once. Did you know they have an ambulance on a cruise ship?? They do. I do live in fea...more

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About Sandra Beasley

Sandra Beasley is the author of I Was the Jukebox, winner of the 2009 Barnard Women Poets Prize, selected by Joy Harjo and published by W. W. Norton. Her debut book, Theories of Falling, was selected by Marie Howe as the winner of the 2007 New Issues Poetry Prize (New Issues Poetry and Prose, 2008). Her poetry has been featured in the Best American Poetry 2010, and her nonfiction has been featured...more

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