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Apples and Regret and Wasted Time

by Cornelia Grey (Goodreads Author), Nathie Block (Cover Artist)

4.09 of 5 stars 4.09 · rating details · 148 ratings · 56 reviews

He lives in the shadows of the law. Now, wounded and stranded in the city after a job only he could do, he has no qualms about climbing through the window his old lover left open—or stealing his shampoo, at that. He has, however, not taken into account the possibility of being surprised in the shower.

Three years is a long time to go between visits, especially if you've lef...more

ebook, 13 pages

Published May 27th 2011 by Storm Moon Press (first published May 24th 2011)

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Community Reviews

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Sep 19, 2011 Vio rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: short-read, romantic, highly-recommended, beautiful, bittersweet

Beautiful, worth reading for the small scraps of dreamy love, so lovely!

3 likes · like · see review

Jul 19, 2011 Feliz rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: cops-detectives, contemporary, favourites, jw, m-m, outstanding

This is wonderful, sad and dream-like. An exceptional story.

The story opens with our narrator, wounded and bleeding after being in a fight, sneaking through the streets of a city he left three years ago, on his way to his old lover’s house. As he climbs in through the window left open for him, the apartment is deserted, but his lover returns while he’s in the shower and surprises him there.

Right from the beginning, their reunion is laced with a sense of melancholic foreboding, but it’s also cle...more This is wonderful, sad and dream-like. An exceptional story.

The story opens with our narrator, wounded and bleeding after being in a fight, sneaking through the streets of a city he left three years ago, on his way to his old lover’s house. As he climbs in through the window left open for him, the apartment is deserted, but his lover returns while he’s in the shower and surprises him there.

Right from the beginning, their reunion is laced with a sense of melancholic foreboding, but it’s also clear from the beginning that the two men share a deep, passionate emotional connection. There is so much hurt, regret and unfinished business between them, but also so much desire, burning sexual energy and the pure joy of being reunited. As the story unfolds, we get to know the two men a little better. Small details give hints at their history of a powerful love that was lost to external circumstances. What they are and what they do for a living puts them at polar opposite positions of society. However, over the course of a shared dinner of Chinese takeaway and apples, they seem to connect on a plane detached from their reality. For a few short hours, they return to a place where their differences and all the hurts and regrets of the past don’t matter anymore–and where they find a sliver of hope that maybe, eventually, there might be a future for them against all odds.

Due to the short format of this story, there’s only a modicum of background and setting. Yet, with a few well-chosen words, the author transported me right into the forbidding and hostile city , and into the lover’s spartan apartment which entails so many memories for the narrator. There was a dark mood to the setting that only added to the overall dreamlike feeling of this story.

The writing is beautiful, sparse and unelaborated and right to the point.
Over the course of only 13 pages, this tale of two lovers separated by almost insurmontable obstacles created an atmosphere of desperate yearning that gripped me immediately. Even though I didn’t even know their names, I felt deeply connected to both characters; I suffered with them and hoped for them, longed to see them happy together forever even though I was afraid they simply couldn’t be. Impressive, poignant and highly recommended.

Full review here: http://www.reviewsbyjessewave.com/201...

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4 likes · like · see review

Jun 22, 2011 MandyM rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-romance, kindle-lendables

Moving glimpse into the lives of two men, obviously in love, but torn apart by their differences. A la Rebecca we don't learn their names but the story is even stronger for that. I was left with a burning need to know more about them and a little melancholy at the thought that they could never be together. Excellent short story from the author of The Mercenary (another book I enjoyed greatly). I look forward to more stories (preferably longer) from this author.

4 likes · like · see review

Jul 09, 2011 Edina Rose rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fav-re-read, free, short, uber-style, happy-for-now

The story is sooo beautiful! I wish the book was longer because it is sooo good! I want to read more books from this author!

3 likes · like · see review

Apr 12, 2013 ARe Cafe rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: are-top-picks, vals-picks

Apples and Regret and Wasted Time by Cornelia Grey (approximately 6,000 words from Storm Moon Press) opens at night with a wounded man hurrying through an unnamed city, seeking shelter. Instinct leads him to a house he has visited many times before. He hopes the window will still be open to grant him refuge.

The man who lives there returns to find our hero in the shower. Clearly, the two men share a complicated history of deep attraction underscored with betrayal and pain. As they talk, banter, a...more Apples and Regret and Wasted Time by Cornelia Grey (approximately 6,000 words from Storm Moon Press) opens at night with a wounded man hurrying through an unnamed city, seeking shelter. Instinct leads him to a house he has visited many times before. He hopes the window will still be open to grant him refuge.

The man who lives there returns to find our hero in the shower. Clearly, the two men share a complicated history of deep attraction underscored with betrayal and pain. As they talk, banter, argue, and make love, the reader pieces together their circumstances. Their story comes in wrenching, powerful glimpses through their dialog and small gestures – such as the red apple that the second man always keeps in the fruit bowl with his green apples in case the first man returns and wants it. The red apple and the window kept ajar are heartbreaking symbols of hope, especially when it is clear that the two men’s intrinsic identities form an insurmountable barrier to any long-term relationship.

Apples and Regret and Wasted Time is a stunning short story. I love the way the author plays against type with the more dangerous of the two men also being smaller and unconventionally masculine with his long flowing hair. He is also somewhat submissive sexually to the other man, which is an interesting contrast to the lethal aspects of his nature.

The story is full of beautiful lines such as our hero’s emotion right after a passionate sexual encounter: “Coming down is like returning to a cold, inhospitable land.” Or here, when he watches the second man: “He lifts his hand and thumbs away what must be a residual smudge of blood from my cheekbone. His fingertips brush my soaked hair and, for a moment, he looks torn apart by such grief that I have to close my eyes. A blink and it’s already gone. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he just murmurs.” Though not a happy story, it is perfect as written, and packs tremendous emotional power. Very highly recommended!

Val for AReCafe(less)

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Mar 16, 2013 Yvonne rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, m-m-short-story, m-m-reunited, m-m-police-officers, hearts-on-fire-review

Reviewed on Hearts on fire...http://heartsonfirereviews.com...

I was a little intrigued by the title of this book but had put off reading it because of its size. I tend to prefer novels and this book comes in at approximately 15 pages. But there’s a whole lot packed into this particular short package.

This is a story about an intense moment in time between two men. We never learn their names but we know these men share a history. There’s hints that something has kept them apart but that their attr...more

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Jul 10, 2011 Elisa Ramblings added it · review of another edition

The first impression someone can have of this short story is that the cover is “wasted”, meaning that, such customized cover for a short story of less than 15 pages seems too much. But indeed that is a wrong impression, since, it’s true that this is only a short story, but I had the feeling this is only a glimpse of something bigger.

The feeling was that we were reading only a night in the life of these two men, men without name, past and future… again apparently. In only 10 pages, Cornelia Grey...more

5 likes · like · see review

Jun 30, 2011 Kassa rated it 5 of 5 stars

4.5 stars

This short story is definitely one of my favorites. It hits all the high notes and great details that I personally adore while being short enough to leave me wanting more; the setting, writing, characters, and bittersweet but hopeful ending just do it all for me. This is a short story I’ll easily read again and one I’d recommend to anyone that’s a fan of urban fantasy-esque type settings. It’s not quite futuristic or even magic/fantasy based but the super hit man/cop dynamic gives it th...more 4.5 stars

This short story is definitely one of my favorites. It hits all the high notes and great details that I personally adore while being short enough to leave me wanting more; the setting, writing, characters, and bittersweet but hopeful ending just do it all for me. This is a short story I’ll easily read again and one I’d recommend to anyone that’s a fan of urban fantasy-esque type settings. It’s not quite futuristic or even magic/fantasy based but the super hit man/cop dynamic gives it that edge and feel without those added details. In short, I loved it and highly recommend it.

The plot of the story is very internal and focused. It begins with a nameless first person narrator sneaking into an apartment. The place clearly belongs to an ex – a relationship that has unfinished business and emotion. When the unnamed ex boyfriend shows up, the two have an intense but sexy shower scene which sets up a delicious smoldering tension between the men. The resulting two scenes just cap the tension with emotion, longing, need, heart attack, and a hope for a future meeting.

The setting is very slick and city. There’s just a hint, probably nothing but a paragraph but the opening few sentences are strong and pack a punch. Immediately the gritty but edgy city setting comes to life, even an anonymous city. It reminds me of settings in urban fantasy stories with a super talented hit man gliding through a dark night looking for a place to relax for a short while. Even though the story is not in any way urban fantasy, it has a feel that I very much enjoy so it works for me.

The characters are pretty vibrant and eye catching, considering their names and backgrounds are never offered. In fact the reader knows very little about either man, yet they feel real and fully realized. The tension between the men, the emotion in a look, a smell, a taste, even the very few words actually spoken are enough. The strong writing here is to be commended. The prose choices grab the reader from the outset and never let go as we watch the unnamed hit man and his lover cop push and pull against fate and their nature. They clearly love each other and want each other but their opposite goals in work (perhaps life) put them at odds that they seemingly can’t overcome.

Another big positive to the story is the stunning cover. The cover definitely draws me to the book and immediately gives the dark, gritty feel of the story. It’s absolutely a great cover and works extremely well with the story itself. Together the various different parts of the story – the writing, characters, smoking hot sex scenes, insulated apartment setting, the gritty city feel, and truly beautiful cover – all combine to deliver a great little story. It’s one I definitely wanted more of and eagerly recommend to readers. If this is an example of this author’s work, I want more.

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3 likes · like · see review

Jun 23, 2011 PettyProse rated it 4 of 5 stars

Review: This was an enchanting story, both erotic and fanciful, built around one night’s liaison between two men fated to be on opposite sides.
Review for Brief Encounters Reviews: http://briefencountersreviews.com/201...

The reader doesn’t learn the names of the men. Any personal information is released slowly and teasingly, yet there’s enough to tantalize the reader, rather than frustrate them. There’s little about their backstory, or their current lives, but the story illustrates very vividly t...more Review: This was an enchanting story, both erotic and fanciful, built around one night’s liaison between two men fated to be on opposite sides.
Review for Brief Encounters Reviews: http://briefencountersreviews.com/201...

The reader doesn’t learn the names of the men. Any personal information is released slowly and teasingly, yet there’s enough to tantalize the reader, rather than frustrate them. There’s little about their backstory, or their current lives, but the story illustrates very vividly the contrast between the arrogant, determined assassin and the cop. Their love exposes each of them as a man, not just a cipher.

The first person present tense style is striking, although there were times I felt it was too passive, diluting the full effect of the drama. I don’t even hear the footsteps until the shower curtain is pushed to the side and cool air is wafting over my wet skin. However, it creates a fascinating sense of suspension, as if the reader is sharing a dream.

The author’s prose is lyrical, attractive to read and well structured. The phrases appear carefully chosen, with a strong sensuality. He sounds a little angry, too: a low, simmering anger, moving swiftly through his veins, just beneath the skin. Some of the prose was less imaginative and moved more slowly, but this added to the overall languid thoughtfulness. The often deliberately poetic language might have seemed contrived, but it fit the atmosphere. I especially liked the way the author conveyed the balance of aggression and vulnerability in the assassin, including the fear of his own emotional connection.

The sexual tension is built slowly and deeply, with a very sexy shower scene. The sex is hot and well sustained. The characters’ emotions are reflected in the sex, not only their desire for each other. The apple flavor is nothing but a spark under the heavy taste of my come. The author manages to tell us as much about the characters through their banter over a meal, as in sex. The shampoo metaphor in the blurb jarred for me as flippant, but the vulnerability shown by the cop buying apples was poignant. I didn’t learn much about the cop, though that was to be expected because of the story’s POV.

The blurb alerts the reader to the fact this is not an HEA tale. I personally enjoy reading different themes and I’m not totally invested in an HEA :). I didn’t find this story full of angst, but carrying a fascinating thread of melancholy. To me, the men made their choices in life, which included accepting their relationship as it was. That’s not to say there wasn’t regret, but my impression was that even though they were victims of circumstance, they lived it willingly enough. I consider the possibility of escaping through the bathroom window and disappearing in the night like an inopportune dream, an old unwanted memory. The assassin makes his choice and remains bound to the cop and their shared passion.

It was a delightful and unusual read, I rate it B+.

by pettyprose…my opinion alone.

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1 like · like · see review

Jun 05, 2011 Jenre rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, romance

This short begins when an unnamed first person narrator slips into the house of a past lover. He's been in a fight and is filthy and bleeding. As he uses the shower, his ex-lover returns and discovers him. The story then slowly unfolds over 13 pdf pages as we discover who these lovers are and why they can never be together.

It's a poignant tale with no happy ending, but I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the prose and the absolute yearning that filters through the narrator and his lost relations...more

7 likes · like · see review

Jun 02, 2011 Top 2 Bottom Reviews Interviews and More rated it 5 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. ”Always leave them wanting more.” It’s an adage that I, personally, believe comes with some conditions. But if done successfully, is one of the highest compliments to an author.

Cornelia Grey got it just right with Apples and Regret and Wasted Time, the bittersweet story of two men—ex-lovers, an officer of the law and an assassin, men on opposite ends of the ethical spectrum—who are reunited after a three year separation, out of necessity and convenience more than desire. No, this is not a reunio...more

1 like · like · see review

May 29, 2011 Ami rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm-short-stories

This short story (only 11 pages), is a glimpse of one particular moment in our main characters' life. To us, they have no names. But as readers, we can feel that they are used to -- and practically still -- have that passion for one another. One that cannot die, even if they have been apart for three years. There are some clues, a trail of crumbs for readers to guess ... one is a detective, the other one is from the opposite side (maybe an assassin?), an essential thing that keeps them apart. Ho...more

5 likes · like · see review

May 29, 2011 Cryselle rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: storm-moon-press, m-m

We never hear the name of our narrator nor of the man whose home he's come to in order to lick his wounds. We don't need to -- there is "he" and "I" and a vast gulf between them. This story is a blend of hope and history, of regret, longing and the brief happiness that can be found.

The author doles out the backstory in small details, letting us fill in for ourselves how things must have gone -- this had to have been an epic love then, and then three years of nothing, for these two are on opposit...more

4 likes · like · see review

May 28, 2011 Emanuela ~plastic duck~ rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: short-stories, rainbow-gay, glbt

You know, I love fluffy books that make me feel good, that are enjoyable and sometimes angsty, but then everything is resolved and you close them knowing the main couple will live together happily ever after. If someone has read a few of my reviews, they will probably realize that I also like flawed characters, situations that are not black or white but in shades of gray, objectionable situations, sometimes I like bad guys doing very bad things.

This short story is a slice of life. Two men, whose...more

7 likes · like · see review

Sep 17, 2011 MsMiz (Tina) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: glbt-all, pdf

I have recently been accused of being a size queen (yeah you know who you are!). While I do like a lot of pages in my books, some do surprise me. This 16 page gem is one of those times. Cornelia does an outstanding job of conveying history between the two MCs including all the love, pain, loneliness and how much they mean to each other. This was truly beautifully written and I would not hesitate to read their full story. Thank you Jordie for recommending this.

7 likes · like · see review

May 29, 2011 Alex rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: short-story, romance, queer, bittersweet, review-copy

Overall
A touching bittersweet story that both satisfies and leaves the reader wanting more.

Strengths
Names. None of the characters are named, which was just really amazing for some reason. I didn't realize until my second read through, but it definitely lent an air of not necessarily mystery--which it did--but created a world in which for the narrator only two people existed: Me and Him.

Emotions/atmosphere. In the short space Grey worked in powerful emotions by being almost muted with them in th...more

1 like · like · see review

Dec 24, 2011 Lex Chase rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Those that see the beauty in the broken, those that like not your college professor's short stories

Shelves: m-m-romance, steamy

Some say this story is unadulterated PWP, there actually is a plot that's a little bit sad and sometimes touching. Two unnamed men on opposite sides of the law come together for a fleeting moment of passion after a three year distance of heartbreak and missed connections.

It's steamy and the least awkward First Person POV of sex scenes which sometimes come off as uncomfortable or a bit silly.

In this teeny, tiny story-- which my edition for the Nook was 40 pages and not 13-- I felt for these char...more

1 like · like · see review

Oct 01, 2011 Juliana rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction-vixen-posted-book-review, fiction-vixen-print-or-e-books, ebook-digital-copy, 0-own-as-an-ebook, contemporary-romance, cr-m-m-or-f-f-romance, novella, 2011-reads, 0-still-need-to-review, 2011-sep-reads, cr-a-little-on-the-naughty-side, 4-half-stars, 4-to-5-stars, romantica-contemporary, romantica, romantica-m-m-or-f-f, challenge-2011-nbrc-read-your-name, challenge-2011-nbrc-all-about-you, challenge-2011-wllk-sep-wed-pirate, challenge-2011-wllk-sep-indpendence, challenge-2011-bb-back-to-school

4.5 stars | Grade: A

What a delightful read. This extremely short erotic novella by Cornelia Grey is surreal, bittersweet, and sensual. Apples and Regret and Wasted Time centers around two ex-lovers who have not seen one another for three years and is narrated in first person by one of the men. He has just been injured in a fight and goes to his old lover’s apartment to quickly clean up, but the man comes home while he’s still there:

As I turn my head and find him staring at me, I vaguely consid

...more 4.5 stars | Grade: A

What a delightful read. This extremely short erotic novella by Cornelia Grey is surreal, bittersweet, and sensual. Apples and Regret and Wasted Time centers around two ex-lovers who have not seen one another for three years and is narrated in first person by one of the men. He has just been injured in a fight and goes to his old lover’s apartment to quickly clean up, but the man comes home while he’s still there:

As I turn my head and find him staring at me, I vaguely consider I should have just rinsed instead of rinsing and repeating.

While little is actually said between them, the entire encounter that follows is weighted with nostalgia, regret, resentment, and love. We’re never told either of their names, but there isn’t the anonymity this might suggest, because both men are clearly defined and very distinctly contrasted with one another. Most of the details about who they are, what they do, where this is happening, etc. are kept murky, but while I’m normally one of those readers who wants to know all those types of facts, here it didn’t bother me—truth be told, I didn’t even realize they were missing until after I finished.

At 13 (regular, not book-sized) pages, the story is super short, no doubt about it, but Grey is nonetheless able to draw us in from beginning to end. We don’t know anything about these two men, but right from the moment they’re together again, you can feel the history and tension between them. The small details she gives us—like their different tastes in apples and memories of how they used to jokingly fight about it—are what make it seem so authentic and make the read such a bittersweet one. These brief glimpses into their past relationship show us the deep love they felt for one another and their actions during this short reunion make it clear that love still exists.

When I enjoy a novella, I always wish that it were longer. While this one is no different and I can easily see how these pages could make up a first chapter, for once I am also able to be completely satisfied with it as it is. This reads like a snapshot, so that although this is all I have to go on, I know it’s not all there is. I feel like there is a definite before and after to this snapshot, and while I don’t have it in my possession and maybe it hasn’t even been written yet, it exists somewhere.

{ One of My Favorite Quotes }

The clothes smell like him. The smell is so familiar—I remember it unexpectedly well—a sensory memory I can’t quite control that surges up and strikes deep, just below the level of consciousness, where I cannot defend myself. It makes my chest ache in ways I don’t want to think about.

Originally reviewed for Fiction Vixen Book Reviews. This review is of a copy provided by the publisher to FVBR. (less)

2 likes · like · see review

Dec 09, 2012 Melanie Tushmore rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, m-m, hot, bittersweet, i-loved-the-baddie-best, know-ill-read-again, loved-it, set-in-america, sexy-times, i-demand-a-sequel

Great short read -- i could have easily devoured a book of it! V interesting snapshot, emotional, hot, hot, hot!

It is a shortie, but am giving 5 stars for how much i enjoyed it.

1 like · like · see review

Feb 04, 2012 Camille-Dhark Nytmhare rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: brokeback, read-in-2012

What a talented author to say so much with so few words in so few pages.

1 like · like · see review

Feb 19, 2013 Straysod rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, romance, short-story

Wow. This is an awesome feat of writing and storytelling. Two characters, no names, just a handful of pages. I am stunned that the author was able to pack so much in to this story in so little time, was able to breathe these two characters to life so quickly with so few words. I absolutely love it.

Very short, very bittersweet. Melancholy, maybe a little heartbreaking, but so beautiful to read. The fact that it is so short really makes the author's skill as a storyteller and writer stand out. Not...more

1 like · like · see review

Jun 05, 2011 Wyndslash rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, shorts, 2011-reading-challenge

I'm not really sure what to make of this. When i first read the blurb, I was intrigued. But it seems that their occupations are little more than descriptions that enable this little scene, and while it's sad, I don't see why they can't make it work, or at least by the assassin quitting his job or something. I think this would be better if it were longer. As it was, it was too short for me to form any sort of attachment to the whole thing.

As a slice-of-life piece, it had much potential, though. I...more

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Jan 15, 2012 Heather C rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: short-stories, m-m, read-2012, ebook

Umm...not sure what to say about this story, but I really liked it. It had so much in the short 20 minute read. It was sexy and bitter-sweet and I wish I could have had more of it.

I really liked the mysterious style of this. So much was portrayed without ever being said or explained.

Oh, and I love the cover and title of this story. It matches perfectly!

8 likes · like · see review

Oct 28, 2011 Ozlem rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, contemporary, tmp

My only complaint is: it was too short. I would like to read more of them. This book reminds me of a TV series I used to follow obsessively, when I was in college. It was about a thief and a police officer falling in love unaware of their jobs. I will most definitely try other books of the same author, because she is very talented in descriptions and conveying emotions. Highly recommend it.

1 like · like · see review

May 13, 2012 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

It's amazing to me how an author can paint such a beautifully complete picture in so few pages. Part of me wishes that the window will stay closed so one is forced to make the choice to walk back into the others life thru the front door. I know he's more than half way there. Fingers crossed.

1 like · like · see review

Jan 15, 2012 Gyn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Short and powerful is how I would describe this little gem. It's one piece of a much larger puzzle I would love to see completely put together. It was dark. It was passionate. Grey uses short clipped sentences to make the story really sharp and poignant. A great way to spend 20 minutes!

2 likes · like · see review

Jan 04, 2012 Hellen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: the-cover-though, m-m-romance, don-t-get-along, m-m-favorites

This was a mixture of hilarity at the MC being caught by his ex lover taking a shower and distress because of the impossibility of their relationship.

As it always happens with short stories, it left me wanting so much more. Luckily, I've discovered a new author to choose my books from ^^

1 like · like · see review

May 06, 2013 Ayanna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: reviewed, favorites, evocative-or-edifying

D:
It's good. Well-written, but so sad.

It seems quite a shame to leave this one in short-story purgatory...

I vote this be expanded (unless it already is. in that case, someone point me in the direction of the expanded version).

1 like · like · see review

Dec 22, 2011 Jora rated it 5 of 5 stars

Short story about circumstances that bring two past lovers together again, showing us the smouldering embers of the past, and leaving us wondering what might lie ahead for them both. Well worth the few minutes it takes to read.

1 like · like · see review

May 31, 2011 Tara rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, bought-based-solely-on-the-cover, read-in-2011, no-hea

This is a great short story that really left me saying, "MORE! MORE! MORE!" It takes place one night. Two men with a long history that we get little glimpses of and are clearly intensely attracted to each other come together, unexpectedly. There is no HEA to this story, but there is hope.

1 like · like · see review

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About Cornelia Grey

Cornelia Grey is a creative writing student fresh out of univeristy, with a penchant for fine arts and the blues. Born and raised in the hills of Northern Italy, where she collected her share of poetry and narrative prizes, she is now based in London, and she is thoroughly enjoying the cultural melting pot that is the City.

Her interests vary from painting to photography, from sewing to acting; whe...more

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