Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

published	May 1st 2007 by Cleis Press
binding	Paperback
isbn	157344295X (isbn13: 9781573442954)
ebook
pages	256
description	Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth...more [close] Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy. [close]
date added	06-07-07 edit book

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Kendra rated it:

07/02/08

bookshelves: five-star, sexx

recommends it for: people curious about nonmonogamy

Tristan Taormino was in St. Louis a couple weeks ago promoting her new book, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. I was so excited to meet her in real life after admiring her for so many years for all her amazing sexpertise.

It was liberating sitting with the crowd that gathered to hear her read from her latest book. I've felt guilty for having those desires, because they don't match up to my current situation.

Anyway, I felt normal and validated in her presen...more Tristan Taormino was in St. Louis a couple weeks ago promoting her new book, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. I was so excited to meet her in real life after admiring her for so many years for all her amazing sexpertise.

It was liberating sitting with the crowd that gathered to hear her read from her latest book. I've felt guilty for having those desires, because they don't match up to my current situation.

Anyway, I felt normal and validated in her presence, surrounded by a crowd of mostly polyamorous and definitely open-minded folks. It was weird to be in a room full of people who have had threesomes, multiple girlfriends, or been to bath houses, and all of this is normal for them and can be discussed openly. It's not a big secret!

So the book. I'm impressed. I'd say it's a must-own, right up there with The Ethical Slut. An excerpt:

"There's a significant indicator that monogamous marriages and relationships are not working: cheating is epidemic. The 1953 Kinsey Study reported that 26% of wives and 50% of husbands had at least one affair by the time they were 40. Other studies followed, with similar findings. For those people who manage to avoid cheating (or being cheated on), there is still a general dissatisfaction with monogamous relationships. Complaints about being stuck in a rut abound. Lots of people seem pretty unhappy."

This book explores different options to monogamy. And what surprised me is that Tristan doesn't just discuss swinging and polyamory. She offers six basic models of non-monogamy, and urges you to customize those models for what is right for you. This equals endless possibilities. Here are the basic styles:

* Partnered Nonmonogamy - a committed couple who want a relationship that is erotically nonmonogamous
* Swinging - nonmonogamy in a social context, a lifestyle
* Poylamory - more than one relationship that is sexual, loving, emotional
* Solo Polyamory - nonmonogamous people who don't want a primary partner
* Polyfidelity - Three or more people who have made a commitment to be in a primary relationship
* Monogamous/Nonmonogamous Combo - One person is monogamous, the other is not

Do any of these styles appeal to you? Or is being monogamous the right choice for you? The book explores each of these options in depth, and is a huge resource for information. (Tristan continues to update her list of resources on her website www.openingup.net.)...less

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Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

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