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Following Ezra: What One Father Learned About Gumby, Otters, Autism, and Love From His Extraordinary Son
A heartwarming, intimate and amusing memoir of a father's experience raising his autistic son.
When Tom Fields-Meyer's son Ezra was three and showing early signs of autism, a therapist suggested that the father needed to grieve.
"For what?" he asked.
The answer: "For the child he didn't turn out to be."
That moment helped strengthen the author's resolve to do just the opposi...more
When Tom Fields-Meyer's son Ezra was three and showing early signs of autism, a therapist suggested that the father needed to grieve.
"For what?" he asked.
The answer: "For the child he didn't turn out to be."
That moment helped strengthen the author's resolve to do just the opposi...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published
September 6th 2011
by NAL Trade
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I found this book refreshing. Too often, it seems, there are books about parents, their children, and unrealized expectations. Those expectations end up crippling relationships and the books subsequently written about them express the journey of repairing those wounds and healing those grievances. This book veers completely from that course, similarly to the development of the titular child. When the author and his wife discover that their son, Ezra, has autism, the father describes how he has n...more
I really enjoyed this one because of the way Mr. Fields-Meyer determines early on that he will love Ezra for just who he is, and never apologizes for it. Ezra sounds like a challenge but also a delight. The writing is very good and easy to follow and contains a description that really resonated and made me laugh: the one where Ezra is at the zoo and cuts in front of this huffy man who says something like, "Well, you could have said 'Excuse me'!" and of course Ezra takes no notice of this guy and...more
OK, I admit, I picked up this book from the library because I have a son named Ezra, and he lines up and sorts dinosaurs just like the author's Ezra. Although my son hasn't been diagnosed with autism, he does have social troubles and has many of the same behaviors that that the author's son has.
I found this book enjoyable because it was so upbeat about raising an autistic child. I especially loved Ezra's bar mitzvah speech. It is not a how-to book, or a practical guide, and doesn't go into much...more
I found this book enjoyable because it was so upbeat about raising an autistic child. I especially loved Ezra's bar mitzvah speech. It is not a how-to book, or a practical guide, and doesn't go into much...more
I found this book refreshing. Too often, it seems, there are books about parents, their children, and unrealized expectations. Those expectations end up crippling relationships and the books subsequently written about them express the journey of repairing those wounds and healing those grievances. This book veers completely from that course, similarly to the development of the titular child. When the author and his wife discover that their son, Ezra, has autism, the father describes how he has n...more
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First, full disclosure. I am acquainted with the author and his son, having worked with them on a publishing project. I expected to enjoy the book in part because of our acquaintance, but very soon realized that our association was irrelevant; I was riveted to the book just as much as if I'd picked it up at random, because it's a beautifully-written story with a powerfully universal message. It doesn't matter if you don't know anyone with autism (I don't), or don't even have children (I don't)....more
Following Ezra is an important book about raising a child who has autism. Not any child, not all children, not the full spectrum of kids, but one boy named Ezra. In my opinion, it does not presume to be more, to get political or to speak for anyone, though in many passages I find it telling my own feelings and experiences. It purely resonates. The book is full of simplicity and love, and I treasure that about it.
My favorite part of the book:
When Ezra says, "You are proud of me." My solar plexus...more
My favorite part of the book:
When Ezra says, "You are proud of me." My solar plexus...more
You know when you find a book and you can't put it down? Following Ezra is one of those for me.
The love that Tom Fields-Meyer and his wife, Shawn have for Ezra just oozes out of the pages.
The journey that they take once they find out that Ezra has autism, is painful of course, but they handle it with so much courage and unconditional love, and never once express,"why me?" for one moment.
Surprisingly, there is humor in the reality of the situation, which one would not expect.
At this time, I have...more
After two years of occupational therapy my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder two weeks ago. I wasn't surprised, but I've still had a hard time breathing, a hard time saying the word, a hard time knowing exactly how we were going to move forward. This book might not tell me how exactly to get my son to take his socks off or how to get him to accept a bowl of oatmeal sitting on the table, but it did show me that we have all we need: love, patience, acceptance. Ezra's autism is in man...more
Following Ezra is the story of a father and mother raising Ezra, an endearingly complex boy with autism. The book covers approximately a ten year period in Ezra's life and focuses on the challenges that his parents face in trying to understand Ezra and on helping Ezra understand the world he lives in.
This book is excellent in a way that the literature dealing with autism has largely lacked to this point. It doesn't have an agenda other than espousing the value of seeing Ezra, and other children...more
This book is excellent in a way that the literature dealing with autism has largely lacked to this point. It doesn't have an agenda other than espousing the value of seeing Ezra, and other children...more
Written lovingly by the father of an autistic child, Following Ezra is a quick and excellent read. Anyone wanting to know what it's like living with an autistic child ought to read this; the stories are fantastically done. But it's probably most useful and edifying for those families in the thick of it. Especially illuminating were the chapters describing the careening descent into autism after age three (which was the age when we noticed things not-usual in our own son) and the diagnosis, and h...more
When author Tom Fields-Meyer was told by a therapist that his son Ezra was showing signs of autism he was told he needed to grieve. "For what?" he asked. The answer, "For the child he didn't turn out to be." Fields-Meyer did not grieve; he instead embraced his son for who he was, working tirelessly to find ways to connect to what was important to his child. Following Ezra is Fields-Meyer's gift to his middle child, a narrative of the journey from when Ezra is first diagnosed in preschool until t...more
I loved this story, not because it was particularly well written (there are some chronology issues that bugged me at times, but the way it's written is not chronological, so I got over it) but because it's a story about a wonderful family with a child that will face struggles the rest of his life, and how the family as a whole adjusted for Ezra's needs. It brings awareness to others who haven't experienced parenting a child with special needs. I found myself smiling so many times at the situatio...more
As someone who has encountered autism within our family, I take a particular interest in books on the subject. I’ve read parts of the book by John Elder Robinson—brother of memoirist Augusten Burroughs—about his experiences growing up with Asperger syndrome, which is an autism spectrum disorder. Recently, my mom has brought to my attention a new book I’m eager to get my claws/eyes on called The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better...more
I thought this book was okay, it was a little slow and often hard to finish, but I really related with a lot of the passages and below are some of my favorites:
Life rarely goes according to plan, and too often we try to control situations that are beyond our control.
The things we least plan for can become our greatest treasures.
Like many parents, I saw my son’s challenges as something to get past so that my family and I could get on with our lives. I eventually learned that this IS life; this is...more
Life rarely goes according to plan, and too often we try to control situations that are beyond our control.
The things we least plan for can become our greatest treasures.
Like many parents, I saw my son’s challenges as something to get past so that my family and I could get on with our lives. I eventually learned that this IS life; this is...more
What a wonderful book. Highly recommended. I have read several books on autism, but this was by far the most poignant. I knew the author when I was in high school, although not well. This revealed a side to him that I did not expect and was pleasantly surprised by the caring, loving nature of his relationship with his son.
Who should read this? Well, quite frankly, I'd put it any parent's reading list, not just parents of children with autism. I think we could all learn a lot from Tom in how he...more
Who should read this? Well, quite frankly, I'd put it any parent's reading list, not just parents of children with autism. I think we could all learn a lot from Tom in how he...more
Mar 12, 2012
Jennifer Gernert
is currently reading it
This book is an entertaining glimpse into the world of a Jewish father and his autistic child, Ezra. I cannot put this book down. I am learning so much, not only from the fathers perspective, but also from the perspective of Ezra. This is a must-read for anyone with a child who is deemed special needs, or anyone who simply want to learn what it's like to experience the everyday world of having autism.
Enveloping story about a father and his autistic son. The struggles and laughter they shared along the way, ending with his Bar Mitzvah, which concludes that every person is different and, in a way, that is the way it was intended.
By the way the book was broken up in chapters, it was repetitive in the exposition, but otherwise an incredibly well-written and interesting book. RECOMMEND.
By the way the book was broken up in chapters, it was repetitive in the exposition, but otherwise an incredibly well-written and interesting book. RECOMMEND.
I thoroughly recommend this book for EVERYONE. Whether or not you know someone touched by autism, there are lessons abound in this book. This is a beautiful, heartbreaking, heartwarming, and, at times, humorous story of a father learning to understand a son who seems unreachable. His success comes through a refusal to look at his son the way everyone else does, and an unwillingness to place limitations on his son's life because of his "diagnosis".
The lesson for all of us is to try to view every...more
The lesson for all of us is to try to view every...more
Reading this is like talking to a very articulate friend about the trials they face in raising an autistic child. It is funny and at times it's heartbreaking but mostly it's matter of fact and very engaging. I love the author's idea that instead of pushing Ezra to conform, he is trying to let his son take the lead, trying to follow him and appreciate all his strengths.
What a wonderful book. The author is a writer, his wife is a Rabbi and the story is about their middle son who has autism. The author does SUCH a great job of describing what his child is like and explaining why he does some of what he does. I was laughing out loud and crying at the same time. Really a terrific book for understanding more about this horrible condition-when will they ever get to the bottom of what causes it. . Everyone should read this.
I have read several books on autism. The reason I like this one is that the author doesn't pretend to have all the answers. He writes about what works for him and his son. He seems to find pleasure in the things that Ezra does even though he is "different".
This memoir by a Jewish father about his autistic son and the rest of their family wouldn't seem to be in my wheelhouse, since I’m a non-Jewish non-parent who doesn't have any relatives with autism, but I loved it. It was entertaining and funny and touching.
Loving, irreverent, incredibly patient memoir of a Dad and his young autistic son, from the discovery through his bar mitzvah. I loved it, and laughed out loud throughout, until the end where you will well up with emotion. Quick easy read, too.
I really loved this story. My only frustration was that the author jumped around from age to age while telling the stories of raising his son. I found it difficult to ascertain whether one incident happened before or after another.
loved it. a touching father's tale of family life with their autistic middle son. Moments of clarity and humor intwined with the reality of never knowing what the moment really holds and never knowing what to expect. Well written. Easy quick read.
A very interestng look at a family with a child with autism. This book teaches, is enlightening, hopeful and very honest. I would recommend it to anyone who deals with children in some capacity.
WOW...what a terrific explanation of the life of this child Ezra!
beautifully written touching on all the emotions....
it is funny, and sad and endearing and enlightening
beautifully written touching on all the emotions....
it is funny, and sad and endearing and enlightening
The book isn't as much about Autism as it is about a life. Parents who love their children and show amazing patience. I couldn't put this down and I didn't want to.
A father's journey with his son's autism. This is the first book I read about autism and it made me understand many of my feelings were normal.
Loved this book, I read it in under 24 hours. Hearing Ezra's story told by Tom is inspirational and shows what great Parents Shawn & Tom really are.
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