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Seriously... I'm Kidding

3.72  ·  Rating Details ·  74,032 Ratings  ·  5,429 Reviews
"Sometimes the greatest things are the most embarrassing." Ellen Degeneres' winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient and honored daytime shows on the air. (To date, it has won no fewer than 31 Emmys.) Seriously... I'm Kidding, Degeneres' first book in eight years, brings us up to date about the life of a kindhearted woman who bowed out of ...more
Hardcover, 241 pages
Published October 4th 2011 by Grand Central Publishing
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Ray Justus Seriously? Absolutely not! I cannot believe the other answers!
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Note: This is a review of the audio edition.

I love Ellen Degeneres. Seriously, I'm not kidding. I know what you're thinking: you can't truly love someone whom you've never met and probably never will. But I truly love her in the way you love someone — or something — that you know with your whole heart is making the world a better place to live. And I am positive of this fact when it comes to this woman.
After a hard day, her humor and generosity and overall love for people and life are a balm on
Oct 16, 2011 Lisa rated it it was ok
Shelves: abandoned
When I was a little girl, my grandfather once told me that when he spoke in front of a group, he often began with, "I know most people start their speeches with jokes, but I don't know any, so let's all think of our favorite joke and laugh." This book reminded me a lot of that joke.

While I don't watch Ellen's talk show, I do really like her and have read her other books. This one seems... gratuitous. One chapter is made up entirely of her making sounds. As in, mememememeeme. Or, bwabwabwa. A fe
Apr 04, 2016 Khadidja rated it it was amazing
Ellen DeGeneres is a beloved stand-up comedian, television host, bestselling author, and actress. She hosts the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, i enjoyed this book so much i love Ellen i watch her show she is so funny , one of my favourite chapters, “What Would Jesus Do?” All these polls do is make everyone so judgmental. And I don’t believe in judgment. Unless is judgment of judgment. I don’t think someone has to “wear something better” or have a better hairstyle. That’s why the ...more
Crystal Starr Light
You wanna read/listen to an amusing little time waster and you like Ellen DeGeneres' style of humor? This is your book. However, don't go into this expecting anything really substantial. Some chapters are a couple of words, maybe a sentence long. And while I adored some of the stories and was uplifted by the encouraging tone, that is where my biggest complaint is.

I listened to this in 3 hours. This is the absolute shortest audiobook I've ever listened to--and this goes for almost $30 retail. You
Y. C.
Jul 03, 2014 Y. C. rated it it was ok
Have you seen tumblr? I don't mean the pretty pictures. I mean this:

You get the point. This is what Ellen's book is like. It is filled with the most random, sparse and off tangent thoughts I've ever had the opportunity to read.
Apr 04, 2016 Kelli rated it did not like it
Seriously...I'm bored. And shocked. This audio is not well read by the author (how is that even possible?). There is little affect, there are no pauses, and it seemed like even she was racing to get to the end. The content was all over the place. I really like Ellen and I've always found her funny. I guess her humor doesn't translate well to books for me. Reading it for audio, it didn't seem like she found it funny, either. Sadly, 1 star.
Jun 05, 2012 Tara rated it it was amazing
One of my favorite parts:
"It's so rare for people to actually set aside time to curl up with a book and read. By the way, I don't know you have to curl up to a book, but that's what people say. You can't just say you're going to read a book because then someone will ask, 'Well how are you going to read it? What position will you be in?'
'I'm gonna curl up.'
'Oh, good. So you're not gonna stand?'
'No, no. I'm gonna curl up.'
'Okay, good. Hey, you're not gonna lay on your side, are you?'
'No. I promis
Natalie Monroe
“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”

Here's what you're going to do. You're not going to buy this book. You're not going to borrow it from the library. You're going to click on the nifty quotes section on the right and read through them.

Snort into your coffee. Laugh embarrassingly loud at work, or on the train, or wherever you are right now.

Then click out. Mark Seriously... I'm Kidding as read and check out a cute kitten video.

Because you're done. The actual book is disjointe
Jan 05, 2012 Sandy rated it did not like it
Seriously...I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres is a goofy, cute, and at-times comical book. Each chapter/section is random and does not make sense at some parts. If you like Ellen's brand of humour then this is a nice escape for a few hours. It's also a very quick read meant to pass the time. The book is supposed to highlight what's going on in Ellen's life but I'm able to pick out very little of what I think are actually real slices of her life when the rest is just meant to amuse and distract the ...more
Jul 12, 2012 Jason rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction, humor
I only snickered a couple times while reading this. I wanted to laugh out loud! My favorite standard Ellen jokes are when she talks about not wearing pants or drinking too much wine.

I guess my expectations were a little off when I read this. I wanted to hear jokes or more about Ellen's life, but instead, I got chapters where she encouraged me to recycle, to be happy, and to meditate. She sounded an awful lot like Oprah. Not really. Ellen doesn't take herself too seriously. (See the title.) She e
Nov 04, 2016 Aurora rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Gostei muito, muito de ir ouvido a voz da Ellen enquanto ia fazendo tarefas do dia a dia. Foi o primeiro audiobook que ouvi por completo e foi uma excelente experiência!
Neste livro a apresentadora vai-nos falando sobre os mais diversos e, por vezes, estranhos assuntos sempre com o seu característico humor x) Ao longo de 3h senti que ela estava a falar diretamente comigo, o que foi espetacular.
Aconselho muito.
Nov 22, 2011 Davytron rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: people who have an hour to spend in a book store
As expected, this book was a joke (get it, because Ellen is a comedienne?). Seriously though, this thirty dollar waste of time and money should-have-been-a-free-blog/twitter-post is an insult to Ellen's fan base. Yes, there are moments where I laughed out loud but that does not make up for the significant lack of cohesion or purpose behind anything Ellen wrote. It's as if she had come up with a bunch of unrelated but great one-liners and observations but didn't have anywhere to stick them in her ...more
Oct 05, 2014 La-Lionne rated it really liked it
Overall, the book was wonderful. It had so many laugh-out-loud moments. What made it even better, was that there were many great advices. Humor aside, Ellen Degeneres is a very cool woman and is easy to relate to. Aside from the fact that she is rich and famous :).

The reason I'm taking away one star is because some of the jokes just didn't translate as well on the paper. Without her tone of voice and facial expressions, it's just wasn't the same. I've been a fan of her show forever, and on TV, s
Debbie "DJ"
May 17, 2015 Debbie "DJ" rated it it was ok
Although I really like Ellen, I thought this book was pretty lame. Old material from past comedy shows, and random thoughts. I was hoping for just a little information on Ellen Yes, it got a few laughs out of me, but seriously? Oh, she's kidding.
May 11, 2016 TL rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to TL by: Crystal Starr Light

3.5 stars

Had read one of Ellen's books years ago and thought it was just 'okay.' It wasn't that I didn't like it, it just seemed her great personality and humor didn't translate as well to paper (I think I am in the minority there). I meant to read her other book but forgot until I saw this book of hers came out, but for some reason never got around to either one.

In my humble opinion, this is a better way to read Ellen's books.

Another case of 'Why not? Let's go for it :)'

Ellen's narration was
Seriously? This was nothing but Ellen's very random thoughts similar to her stand up routines in the old days, interspersed with many MANY reminders to watch her talk show. I found the audio version, narrated by Ellen herself, funny for about 5 minutes and then it was just silly. If you like silly, you'll love this!! If not, do something else for 3 hours, like watch Ellen reruns.
Jan 11, 2012 Erin rated it really liked it
I love Ellen. After listening to this audiobook I still love Ellen! Some people don't normally find her that amusing. To those people I say, "You're stupid." Just kidding. If you didn't think that was funny, then you might not like this book. But to me, it was laugh-out-loud hilarity the whole way through. A few jokes were even so funny that I kept reliving them afterwards and going around town laughing sporadically. It is probably best that I just let people think that I'm laughing at them ...more
Jun 24, 2014 Jen rated it liked it
I think Ellen Degeneres is so funny and when I found this in the audiobook section of the library I had to download to listen. She narrorates the book too so how awesome is that! In the beginning I was cracking up, but then it became more of just her talking about any and everything and so it lost some of it's funny. While I didn't love it, I didn't hate it either. I still think she's very funny and would give her other books a try if I find them in the library too.
Dec 19, 2011 Lynn rated it did not like it
I probably should have read the reviews first before I embarked on this one, but hey, at least it was a quick read. I don't see Ellen's show very often because I work, but she seems pretty funny and the people she interviews seem to genuinely like her. This is the first book I read by her and it was pretty disappointing. I am guessing it may have been more amusing and enjoyable if I had been listening to an audio version - comedic timing and delivery can make such a difference, and it's seldom ...more
Oct 25, 2011 Josh rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Anyone that has an afternoon to kill or a long plane ride from Mississippi
I have to be honest, when I heard that Ellen had released another book I was beyond excited. Having read her previous works I was very excited to learn about what had been going on in her life since beginning her show. I was very curious to learn the “behind-the-scenes” details of things like American Idol and other things that had been going on since 2003. I was quickly disappointed.
It saddens me that this book will, no doubt, hit the best-sellers lists for no reason other than DeGeneres’ celeb
Let's just say, I prefer Ellen Show to her book. Her shows are so much humorous, funny, and inspiring than this book. So yeah, seriously, I'm not kidding about the 3/5 stars.
Jan 15, 2016 Ethan rated it liked it
I've always been a fan of Ellen Degeneres. Her brand of observational humor and friendly personality has made her into one of the biggest stars of daytime television. Her book, Seriously...I'm Kidding, is an odd little collection of her musings on life, love, her career, and everything in between.

One chapter, a reproduction of entries from the journal she started just before the first episode of Ellen, reveals the author's excitement and anxiety at starting her own talk show. Amidst the highs of
Jul 15, 2012 VeganMedusa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Perfect as an audiobook to listen to while baking (baking makes me happy; Ellen makes me happy). For a while I was disappointed with Ellen for going all talkshow and mainstream. But she just wants to make people happy and spread a little joy. So I've come to terms with it, and can love her again because she's doing exactly what she wants to do. Thanks, Ellen.
Megan Baxter
Jul 22, 2015 Megan Baxter rated it it was ok
Which brings me to Ellen Degeneres' book. The problem here is not that it's bad. It's that there isn't anything to it. It's written in her voice, I could hear her in my head as I read it. And two days after being done, I don't remember a thing. This is fluff of the highest order, with absolutely no insight into herself or her life, just little funny sketches of a couple of pages. Sketches, however, of very little depth either, very little to remember.

Note: The rest of this review has been withdr
Aug 22, 2012 April rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: ellen fans
Oh, Ellen.


I love Ellen. I do. And this book was adorable, quirky, kind of funny in parts but not very informative about her life at all. It was almost as though she avoided telling us anything about what's been happening. I wanted to know more about her and Portia's relationship and just generally how things are going for her, not advice about my own life and what I should do with it. A lot of it was too comical and goofy.

She's still my imaginative wife though.
Jun 05, 2015 Becki rated it it was amazing
Shelves: audio, non-fiction
Absolutely hilarious. Bits of wisdom in between all the belly laughs. What a joy.
"I know sometimes it seems like a world that has a blanket with sleeves can't get any better, but I believe it can."
Shahirah Loqman
It is an understatement of how much I love Ellen Degeneres! I've been watching her show for years and loved her in Finding Nemo. So I was excited when I saw this book on sale in my local bookstore. And the book reflects Ellen so well, her persona, her wit, her intelligence and her opinions on how to be happy.

It is more of a self help for daily use, a reminder for us to be kind, have courage in standing what we believe in and chasing our dreams to be happy. There are A LOT of random sections tha
Jun 12, 2016 JungBook rated it liked it
I really liked this book, I did not expect to like it that much, it being an autobiography but I enjoyed reading it! I was just bored one afternoon and saw it lying around, picked it up and the rest is history. I rated this book three stars because, although I did enjoy it, I would not re-read it and it was good, but I did not love it.
Hissa Reads
Mar 22, 2015 Hissa Reads rated it really liked it
A funny and light read!
Sheila DeChantal
Jan 22, 2012 Sheila DeChantal rated it it was ok
I have always thought Ellen Degeneres was funny. When I seen she had this new book, it quickly went on my wish list. I had not read Ellen's two previous books and looked forward to trying one.

And Ellen is funny.

on page 91 she has a chapter called Answers To Frequently Asked Questions:




One time in High School.

Three times in my twenties.

Rocks no salt.



Never. And how dare you!

I will take no further questions.

Is there such a thing as too much funny? If so... I encountered it in thi
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Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American stand-up comedian, actress, and currently the Emmy Award-winning host of the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show.

She has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmys. As a film actress, she starred in Mr. Wrong, appeared in Edtv and The Love Letter, and provided the voice of "Dory" in the Pixar animated hit film Finding Nemo. She also starred
More about Ellen DeGeneres...

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“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.” 6551 likes
“Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.” 453 likes
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