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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm Fucked
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God, If You're Not Up There, I'm Fucked

3.59 of 5 stars 3.59  ·  rating details  ·  1,529 ratings  ·  203 reviews
A raw, poignant, and often hilarious look inside the troubled life and mind of an American comic icon

From his harrowing childhood filled with physical and emotional abuse at the hands of his parents, to a lifetime of alcoholism and self-mutilation, psychiatric hospitalizations, and misdiagnoses, to the peak of fame and success as the longest-tenured cast member of Saturday
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Hardcover, 273 pages
Published November 8th 2011 by Harper (first published October 2011)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 2,973)
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Karl Haug
Growing up in a family where his mother constantly tortured him, physically and emotionally, Darrell Hammond learned to believe that death and pain was around every corner. This pain was lodged so deep in his brain that he would wake up screaming at night, scar up his whole body with razor blades and kitchen knives, and was almost constantly drunk or being shipped off to rehab.
While living in constant fear, he also was busy performing stand-up comedy for SNL and another club/show he could get i
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Bryce Rausch
I have never really been the kind of reader who grabs a book and reads it cover-to-cover in a single sitting. And I'm still not because it took my 2 sittings, but that's fine because I've never really been the kind of reader who grabs a book and reads it cover-to-cover in a couple sittings. So ... #humblebrag.

Darrell Hammond has a story that is unlike even the more dysfunctional comics. From most comedians you expect a little bullying, isolation, sadness, parents getting divorced, lots of drinki
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Benjamin
Fair or not, as I read Darrell Hammond’s God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked, I couldn’t help comparing it constantly to Tina Fey’s Bossypants. Both Hammond and Fey are prominent alumni of the long-running NBC sketch comedy show Saturday Night Live, and their memoirs were published a mere seven months apart. While Fey’s book was modestly entertaining, it was a bit of a disappointment. It favored cute and clever witticisms over candor and humility. In contrast, Hammond has penned an absorbing ...more
Zoe
If you watched SNL in the late 90s, you likely saw Darrell Hammond as Bill Clinton or a number of other characters, including Ted Koppel, Phil Donahue, and everyone's favorite Trebek-mother-bagging Sean Connery. Like many SNL cast members before him, Hammond has his demons. A violent, traumatic childhood resulted in an addicted, alcoholic adulthood that had him in and out of rehabilitation facilities, psych wards, and emergency rooms. He writes frankly about strategically carving up his arms wit ...more
Ily Goyanes
Well...

This book is the autobiographical account of Hammond's struggle with alcohol and drugs during his years on Saturday Night Live and beyond. I don't want to be mean, but the book reads as if it were written by someone who was still intoxicated.

Being a huge SNL fan and having fallen in love with Tina Fey all over again after reading Bossy Pants last year, I was eager to read Hammond's book. But while Fey's prose is tight (and hilarious), Hammond's is nonsensical and flat.

He jumps back and
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Caitlin
Read this in about a 24 hour period. VERY engrossing, and held me spellbound as his interviews did as well.

I have always watched SNL even through good years and bad, and Hammond was always solid and consistent performer. Which is even more of a compliment now that I read his memoir. I loved all the tidbits about cast members and guest hosts, and especially about his political views (Which are basically nonexistent, which surprised me). I read Bossypants by Tina Fey too, and its great to get bot
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Heather
This book was all right. I heard him on Fresh Air and was intrigued in a way I hadn't been before I knew his story was so dark. Darrell Hammond, the guy behind some of the most famous impersonations on SNL, turns out to be another in the school of deeply haunted comics, thus I was intrigued. Sadly, the book was more about his time at SNL and the struggles he was having during them (drinking/drugging/lots of cutting/trips to rehab/etc.) than it was as to what got him there. And although it strugg ...more
Terry
Hammond is best known for his impressions of Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live, but an encounter with Grand Marnier got him sent home from Washington, DC, the night before he was to attend Clinton's second inauguration. Starting with his first drink at age 14, Hammond ran the substance-abuse gamut from prescription drugs for a variety of mental illnesses to a sordid night spent in a crack house. His memoir is a series of chronological anecdotes, beginning with his baseball-playing childhood th ...more
Khryste
Just finished reading Darrell Hammond's book. I literally could not get enough of this book. I finished 2/3 of it in the first sitting. I've always known that in order to be brilliantly funny you have to be immensely disturbed/depressed/had a messed up childhood. This book is a testament to that fact. Darrell Hammond is an immensely brilliant comedian, as is he, in intensely disturbed/depressed person. I give him such respect for being as open as he is in this book. I think that his book is goin ...more
Lisa Irby
After seeing an interview on Piers Morgan, I knew I wanted to read this book in order to get the whole story. Wow. He was emotional and eloquent when talking about his childhood, but didn't go into too many details. I read most of the book in one sitting because I couldn't put it down. Throughout the book, he jumps through time and describes his addiction to drugs and alcohol and his many misdiagnosis issues with the mental health professionals. His story is one of triumph and hard work. I felt ...more
Acolvin
A good but not great story. It contains a few insights into working in comedy/show biz/SNL. It seems honest, written with enough sarcasm to not get too sappy or dark. A little lite, though on revealing anything too spiritual or deeper than personal tragedy, and relationship stories that were begun (marriage and child) were not brought up to date in the end.

Overall, another story of a person whose life has been screwed up by addiction to alcohol and drugs. In this case, self-medication was the re
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Sarah
I wanted to read this book after hearing Hammond being interviewed on NPR. It was the most disturbing thing I've ever heard on NPR, not simply from the fact that Hammond's mother had horribly abused him, but because you could really hear the hurt in his voice. So this book deals with trauma and addiction along with the celebrity-filled world of SNL.

Really well written, and I wonder if he wrote it without assistance or just had a wonderful editor or what. Lastly I want to add that just a photo o
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Matt
It would be a cliche if it weren't so often true--our funniest comics are born of tragic circumstances. Childhoods don't come much crueler than Hammond's, and the SNL impressionist didn't do himself any favors as he got older with his overindulgences. Yep, while he was playing Al Gore, he was pretty effed up on crack.

Hammond doesn't spend a lot of time feeling sorry for himself, and he's a sympathetic character. He's getting help but one gets the idea that he's not there yet, practically falling
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Cory Aldrich
Feb 24, 2012 Cory Aldrich rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Cory Aldrich by: Kerri Aldrich
SNL and I have grown up together, and Hammond's memoir is a tremendous look beyond the sketches. We only ever see these folks three minutes at a time, behind the veil of character and costume. While I would never wish the trauma he endured on my worst enemy, and am grateful for his courage in allowing us in, so that we might see something of the real person behind the personas. What is most striking to me is Hammond's tremendous gratitude towards those who walked with him and at times carried hi ...more
Susan Olesen
Abused as a child in a Sybil-esque manner, Hammond found he could calm his mother by doing voice impersonations, which lead to a natural career in comedy. The trauma of his childhood took him more than 40 years to covercome, with repeated forays into rehab for alcohol abuse, depression, panic attacks, and cutting behaviors. This book feels like his final catharsis. The book is so easy to read you feel like you're sitting there talking to him, and he never says a bad word about anyone. One of the ...more
Cara Ellison
Darrell Hammond is one of my favorite SNL alums so this book was an auto-buy for me. I was shocked by it; I had no idea that he had been tortured by his mother, that he struggled with drug addiction and cutting and suicidal tendencies. Though it could be dark, he managed to strike the perfect tone between lightness and darkness. The writing was very good, the story was amazing. It left me with renewed and deepened appreciation for one of the most talented comedians of our generation. Flat out lu ...more
Barbara
Based on the title and the fact that it was written by Darrell Hammond, a comedian, I chose this book thinking it was going to be a light funny summer read. Instead, it was a riveting memoir about Darrell Hammond's life growing up with a mentally ill mother who physically and mentally abused him and the long term effect that abuse had on him. In an effort to drown out his pain, he drank, did drugs, and cut himself. He went in and out of rehab and psychiatric hospitals. Once I started to read it, ...more
Sandy Bergeron
NEVER had any idea that Darrell Hammond was going through so much psychological trauma! I am a big fan of his and always enjoyed his Sean Connery impression on the imitation Jeorpardy game on Saturday Night Live and then again when he portrayed John McCain during his townhall meeting with Barak Obama! I would sincerely say he is my all time favorite Saturday Night Live personality. I wish him well with his personal issues and am very impressed he wrote his story.
Mauoijenn ~ *Mouthy Jenn* ~
Holy Jesus! What a book!!

Heard Hammond talking on NPR a couple of weeks ago about this book. I knew I had to go and get it. I was a huge SNL fan during his stint on it and thought it would be neat to see what that was like. The book was funny in some spots and horrible (as in his horrible childhood) in others. But yet he is a survior none the less. :)
Dustin
Bought this on a whim at a used bookstore and it turned out to be a really interesting read. Hammond, SNL's master impressionist for more than a decade, suffered from severe psychological issues and substance abuse problems most of his life. It is truly remarkable that he never had a meltdown on live television. Hammond was heavily medicated most of the time, suffered traumatic flashback and, in one his more unnerving revelations, practice self-injury by regularly slicing through his arms, wrist ...more
Alison
Terrible title, great book. Hammond spent 14 years on SNL, and half the fun is his behind-the-scenes stories. But as with so many gifted comics, Hammond was working hard to self-destruct. (The night before Clinton's inauguration, when he should have been enjoying his guest status, Hammond got so drunk, he had to be sent home--and passed out at the airport.) After umpteen tries at rehab, he finally gets it right. Hammond is somewhat circumspect about the horrors of his childhood, but his point is ...more
Jake Crowe
The biggest problem with this autobiography is that through all the depressing revelations of Hammond's personal struggles he tells, there isn't that one cathartic moment in the book that brings everything together. There aren't enough behind-the-scene stories to make this a tell-all on SNL . The non-linear presentation of events seems to indicate a purposeful intent, that this isn't just a biography. But upon finishing the book, I had to ask myself why I had read it. There are interesting momen ...more
Amy
This was a pretty quick entertaining read. The reviews make this book out to be very dark and depressing. However, for me, it wasn't as dark and depressing as I thought it would be. It is simply a man struggling with addiction and his shaky recovery afterwards. Hammond doesn't have any huge epiphanies or any real change of live moments in which he lives his life differently. He does eventually come to grip with his mother's abuse and seems to see her in a different light after a while. He also t ...more
Misty
Nov 08, 2013 Misty rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: 2013
I didn't know much about Darrell Hammond before I picked this up. I have always been a huge SNL fan, and loved his impressions - everyone knows his Bill Clinton. I adore autobiographies, so when I saw this, and read a few reviews, I figured, why not?

Whoa. Not what I was expecting at all. Hammond struggles with a horrific childhood, serious addiction problems, and mental issues partially stemming from the fact that he had Satan for a mother. What I thought would be a pretty funny book (and it is,
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Cyn
I started reading this because I saw Darrell Hammond being interviewed by Chris Matthews and it made me wonder what he's been doing. After a quick bit of research I decided his story was interesting enough to cough up the money for the book. I was NOT disappointed.

That someone so talented and whose career exists essentially to make other people happy has gone through (and seemingly is still going through) such difficult times is sad but also makes for a very compelling read. Hammond is funny wit
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Russell
I feel as if I've read the majority of the books dealing with Saturday Night Live. From Tom Davis to Jay Mohr - I want to know. I love SNL so much that I cannot help but devour any information that even touches it. I'm not bragging, this is just to give you context of me reviewing this book.

While I found Hammond funny on SNL, in that he made me laugh, I was never blown away with him. I never dreaded seeing him in a sketch, but I was never looking out for "Oh I can't wait to see what Darrell is g
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Carly Hyland
As a complete SNL obsessive freak, I obviously loved this book. I had no idea, though, that Darrell Hammond had such a dark side to him. His story is so completely fascinating and his writing style makes it all the more enjoyable. There's no tortured addict or woe is me. It's stark and very real and honest; completely different from A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I dove in fully expecting a comedian's look at life on SNL and how charming I dream it is. Hammond is a textbook dark, torture ...more
Rocky
Being interested in all aspects of mental health, I was extremely interested in Darrell's history. I was very heart broken to hear about his mother's behavior, but the book left me a bit disappointed. I was expecting to hear a lot more about what his mother did do. He did go into detail about some things, even repeating himself in the book several times, however, I was expecting much much more about his mother. I was surprised at the brief introduction of his wife and then left hanging at the en ...more
Gerry O'Malley
Jan 05, 2013 Gerry O'Malley rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Fans of Saturday Night Live or comedy and TV shows.
Recommended to Gerry by: I heard the author on a radio show
This was meant to be my guilty pleasure reading for the holiday season, but it turned out to be a pretty heavy read. Darrell Hammond is the talented impressionist who was featured on Saturday Night Live for 14 seasons and is best known for his take on Bill Clinton (although I'm partial to his Al Gore and Donald Trump impressions). Mr. Hammond is brutally honest and pulls no punches in discussing his decades-long struggle with severe mental illness and substance abuse. His descriptions of self-mu ...more
Jim Winski
Wow. I initially picked up this book because I had just finished Tina Fey's book "Bossy Pants" and had enjoyed the humor so much that I figured another book by an SNL alum might be equally as funny. Boy was I wrong...

It doesn't take long to see that this book would be nothing of the sort, recounting Mr. Hammond's lifelong struggles with depression, alcoholism, addiction, and seemingly endless other tribulations. The book is very disjointed, which was distracting at first. After awhile, I decided
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90% club, 10% book: Darrell Hammond (SNL) autobiography 1 6 Oct 24, 2011 07:54PM  
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