Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels

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Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels

by Sarah Wendell (Goodreads Author)

3.65 of 5 stars 3.65 · rating details · 301 ratings · 94 reviews

Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces of clothing, and what do you have? A romance novel. What else? Enough lessons about life, love, and everything in between to help you wi...more

Paperback, 222 pages

Published October 4th 2011 by Sourcebooks Casablanca (first published October 2011)

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Book Expo 2011

50th out of 118 books — 168 voters

The Book of (Even More) Awesome by Neil Pasricha

Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels by Sarah Wendell

Artsy & Cute Non-Fiction Books (Part II)

3rd out of 21 books — 2 voters

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Apr 11, 2013 MrsJoseph rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: informational, non-fiction, romance, autographed-copies, sex-and-relationships, tbr-decimation

Autographed by Sarah Wendell!

http://bookslifewine.wordpress.com/20...

It took me forever to finish this book, but I really enjoyed myself!

EIKAL (as it is fondly called) is a love letter (essay style) to romance books and their readers. It's very much preaching to the choir but it could also (possibly) persuade non-romance readers as to the benefits of reading romances.

I would also find this book to be highly educational for a romance reader to give to a non-romance reader who is clueless as to w...more

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Jan 09, 2012 Audrey rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

3+ stars. A good, quick, humorous read, but only a few things that will remain memorable.

The book covers a variety of different romance novel- and love-related themes, to varying degrees of success. For example, I only skim-read through the chapter on heroes, titled "We Know More Than A Few Good Men." Why? Well, I know what I like in heroes, and I don't necessarily need analysis on why or what others like. I found that this section just didn't hold my interest, to be honest. Also, there are a l...more 3+ stars. A good, quick, humorous read, but only a few things that will remain memorable.

The book covers a variety of different romance novel- and love-related themes, to varying degrees of success. For example, I only skim-read through the chapter on heroes, titled "We Know More Than A Few Good Men." Why? Well, I know what I like in heroes, and I don't necessarily need analysis on why or what others like. I found that this section just didn't hold my interest, to be honest. Also, there are a lot of book quotes in that section, so I was trying to avoid unintentional spoilers. On the other hand, the chapter on sex was actually quite insightful and thoughtful for reasons that are not pervy, surprisingly. I found it very interesting to see how romance novel sex has influenced women's perspectives on it, whether it be their becoming comfortable with sexuality while not having anyone with whom to discuss it, their openness to exploring kinks, or just as a resource for ideas beyond Tab-A-Goes-Into-Slot-B information.

As a general note, I really liked the writer's snarky, humorous, conversational tone. It's too bad that, with at least 50% of the book (probably more like 60-70%?) comprised of extensive quotes from a multitude of authors and readers, we don't get to hear too much of that tone.

A few things that really resonated with me:

1. "Just about every romance reader I've ever spoken to can recall the first romance she read." So true. Case in point, for me: The Scandalous Wager.

2. The 2009 Boston Globe article by Robin Schoenthaler that is quoted in the heroes chapter, which the author introduces by saying "the ideal man is not the one with the biggest bank account or the extreme sports habit, but is the man who will hold your purse in the cancer clinic." I looked up the article in full, and you can find it here.

3. The personal recovery writing piece that is included in full from an anonymous survivor of childhood sexual abuse, found in the section "We Know That Happily-Ever-After Takes Work." A brutal and honest account of how books were this person's escape, the vivid writing made me cry. Specifically, this part: (view spoiler)(less)

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Nov 08, 2011 Meredith rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, humor, nonfiction, romance

Originally published on The Librarian Next Door:

Romance novels, and the readers who love them, tend to get a bad rap. I can’t tell you the number of times my stepmother would bemoan my choice in novels, telling me I “could do better than a romance novel.” Better than a romance novel? Surely you jest! Sure, not every reader will gravitate towards a romance novel, but then again, not every reader will want to read science-fiction, crime thrillers or Nicholas Sparks novels (*gag*). Romance novels a...more
Originally published on The Librarian Next Door:

Romance novels, and the readers who love them, tend to get a bad rap. I can’t tell you the number of times my stepmother would bemoan my choice in novels, telling me I “could do better than a romance novel.” Better than a romance novel? Surely you jest! Sure, not every reader will gravitate towards a romance novel, but then again, not every reader will want to read science-fiction, crime thrillers or Nicholas Sparks novels (*gag*). Romance novels are as diverse as any other genre and those of us who read – and love – them do so for a variety of reasons. And just in case you need some ammunition to fend off the pleas of well-meaning, but misguided family members or friends, I suggest you read Everything I Know About Love, I Learned from Romance Novels, the latest book from Sarah Wendell.

Wendell is the cofounder and bloggess behind Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, quite possibly THE best website devoted entirely to the romance genre. Wendell is a ninja of love, at least according to the Twitter-supplied bio at the back of her book, so she knows of what she speaks. Everything I Know About Love (hereafter known as EIKAL) is filled with her trademark wit, humor, snark and all-around general awesomeness. By validating and celebrating romance novels and the things we can learn from them (about ourselves, about a boyfriend / girlfriend / friend with benefits, and about life), Wendell gives voice to all the romance fans who find value and worth in between the pages of their favorite romance novel.

As Wendell herself says in the introduction, it is frighteningly easy to dismiss romance novels as inconsequential. But as several readers and authors point out over the course of the book, nothing could be further from the truth:

Ironically, many people who disdain the romance genre and look down on the women who read it presume that reading about courtship, emotional fulfillment, and rather fantastic orgasms leads to an unrealistic expectation of real life. If we romance readers are filling our own heads with romantic fantasies, real men and real life won’t and cannot possibly measure up to our fairy-tale expectations, right? Wrong. Wrongity wrong wrong wrong. That accusation implies that we don’t know the difference between fantasy and real life, and frankly, it’s sexist as well…

Sometimes the fantastical and impossible…can help translate reality better than any self-help book ever could. When you see your problems blown up into, dare I say, fantasy proportions, your real problems don’t look so insurmountable. Fantasy, instead of distorting reality, can help you comprehend your reality. (pages 6-7)

With chapter headings such as “We Know Who We Are, and We Know Our Worth,” “We Know How to Spot Real-Life Heroes and Heroines,” and “We Know that Happily-Ever-After Takes Work,” Wendell uses reader feedback and examples from numerous romance authors to demonstrate the very real lessons of romance novels. She refuses to buy into the idea of romance as fluff and instead proves, chapter after chapter, that romances reveal, better than any other type of book, the details of good (and even not-so-good) relationships – and not just sexual relationships, but relationships of all kinds.

There are no illusions in this book. Wendell (or any of the other people she interviewed) isn’t pretending that relationships are magically easy and that all problems will be solved as neatly as they are in the pages of a book. What she is doing, however, – so brilliantly – is putting on page the words many people sometimes have a hard time believing: yes, you are worthy and yes, you deserve happiness. Not in the past, not at some indeterminate time in the future, but right now, in the present, you deserve your own version of a happily-ever-after. And, whether you choose to believe it or not, romance novels can help you get there.

I’ll admit that as a fan of both romance novels and Smart Bitches Trashy Books, I was probably inclined to think favorably about Everything I Know About Love… even before I read it. So take my opinion with a grain of salt if you want, but I do, in all honesty, think this is an important book worth reading. If you love romance, if you hate romance, even if you’re mostly just “meh” about romance, Everything I Know About Love reminds us that ultimately, the most important things in life are not material or monetary. The most important things are the people, flawed and imperfect, who just happen to be perfect for us.(less)

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Mar 02, 2013 Karen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Relationship advice and book recommendations in one funny package-- who can go wrong with this? If you're a reader of romance and DON'T yet know who Sarah Wendell is, shame on you. No, really-- she's the person behind the "Smart Bitches, Trashy Books" romance blog, and she's here to take the "guilty" out of romances as a "guilty pleasure."

I was a latecomer to the romance genre. In my teen and college years, I didn't have a lot of respect for the "trashy novels" my female relatives gobbled up so...more Relationship advice and book recommendations in one funny package-- who can go wrong with this? If you're a reader of romance and DON'T yet know who Sarah Wendell is, shame on you. No, really-- she's the person behind the "Smart Bitches, Trashy Books" romance blog, and she's here to take the "guilty" out of romances as a "guilty pleasure."

I was a latecomer to the romance genre. In my teen and college years, I didn't have a lot of respect for the "trashy novels" my female relatives gobbled up so quickly (and, given that this was in the 80s and 90s, a good deal of it probably WAS trash). I'd tried a few, and they were all formulaic cardboard, about as romantic as a little girl picking up her Ken and Barbie dolls and smooshing their faces together. The so-called heroes treated their women like possessions and seemed to have no respect for them-- and I didn't either. (Ah yes, the age of the classic alphole romance....) I wasn't against romance as an idea, I just got it as a side dish in other genres (speculative fiction, mostly-- a genre with almost as many image problems as romance).

Then I inherited the duties of developing my library's romance collection, and I HAD to start reading romance. (You really can't do a decent job building a collection you know nothing about, after all.) I started seeking out well-reviewed romances and reading more widely in the genre (with the help of Ms. Wendell's blog, I might add), and I realized what a lot of romance readers have known all along: sure, there's trashy romance out there. But there's also really GOOD romance, the type that makes you feel like you know the characters personally, the type that makes you agonize and analyze their relationship problems the way you would your best friend's. The type that helps you think through your own problems of the heart, and teaches you... well, all the things Sarah learned in order to write this book.

This is the book I want to give to everyone who's ever been dismissive of romance of a genre, to every woman (or man) who's hidden a book with clinch cover inside her jacket so passers-by couldn't see it and judge her for it. Go read. You won't regret it.(less)

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Feb 25, 2013 Lizabeth S. Tucker rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: romance, reference

This is a great defense of romantic fiction that talks about how the books can help, educate and encourage the readers.

Despite what people who don't read romance books claim, it isn't all about porn and the mighty wang and the magic hoo-hoo. It is about communication. It's learning what to expect in a relationship and how to get it. It is what to be wary of and how to recognize what you don't want.

Romance books can teach you what turns you on and what turns you off. The more erotic books can e...more

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Jul 27, 2012 Vantine rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: romance, self-help-for-those-who-hate-it

This book is both a hilarious romp through great romance books as well as a sharp, feminist look at love and relationships. Sarah Wendell does a great job of showing how romance books have changed as society has changed. The characters in modern romance have a lot to tell us about what we should expect from our partners and what is not acceptable. As with her website, Smart Bitches Trashy Books, Wendell is filled with wit and not above skewering the more hackneyed tropes of her favorite genre.
H...more

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Apr 02, 2012 Paperback Dolls rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 4-stars, reviewed-2012, reviewed-by-noa, romance

Previously posted at PaperbackDolls.com

Hello, my name is Noa and I’m a romance novel reader. I read them on the train, I read them on planes, I read them when I’m happy, I read them when I’m sad, I read them at work… hmm? what? who? ;)

I think by this time everybody on this site knows I love romance novels, I mean, only someone who loves them as much as I do can stress so much about things I don’t like about the genre. I also realize that calling oneself a reader of romance books AKA “bodice ripp...more Previously posted at PaperbackDolls.com

Hello, my name is Noa and I’m a romance novel reader. I read them on the train, I read them on planes, I read them when I’m happy, I read them when I’m sad, I read them at work… hmm? what? who? ;)

I think by this time everybody on this site knows I love romance novels, I mean, only someone who loves them as much as I do can stress so much about things I don’t like about the genre. I also realize that calling oneself a reader of romance books AKA “bodice rippers”, “trashy books” and “those Fabio covered monstrosities” will have people readjusting their opinion of me and probably deducting at least 50 points from my estimated IQ but I don’t really mind. They’ve never had the luscious experience of reading a Judith Mcnaught or Loretta Chase or Laura Lee Guhrke or georgette Heyer or *place favorite romance author here*. Plus, when people underestimate you – you have the power. Bonbon eating pink princess with low brow reading preferences and minuscule levels of intelligence? That’s me!

So imagine how disappointed I was when Sarah Wendell (Smart Bitch Sarah from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books) went and destroyed my cover, eviscerated the condescending prejudices of readers of “real literature” everywhere and exposed us romance readers as the educated intelligent and sometimes sophisticated women we really are. *Shakes fist at Sarah* Why? Why?

And as if that wasn’t enough she goes on to prove that romance readers may actually have healthier relationships, have better skills at dealing with conflict and just might have a more…interesting sex life. Does this woman want to kill me?

Ok, now seriously, I love this book. Reading it made me smile and laugh and most of all, it made me want to re-read every single romance I’ve ever read. Through a collection of interviews with authors, real-life reader stories and her own witty, insightful and humorous commentary, Sarah puts together a book of rules and lessons on life, love, relationships and of course: Romance.

Here you will find out why seeing yourself in a romance novel is not a bad thing, you will get a chance to discover what romance book you are (I’m a Historical, Regency with a touch of Erotica), you’ll get a nifty guide to romance heroes (mullets are NOT optional) and you will realize that while there are plenty of things that can be listed in the “wrong with this genre” column there are also so many things that are just so right.

In Everything I know About Love I Learned From Romance Novels Sarah not only vindicates romance book lovers, she celebrates them – this isn’t about us being naive romantics who believe that knight in shining armor might just ride over the hill and take us with him to that magical kingdom beyond the sunset, it’s about how we are capable of understanding that real love may not come with 50,000 acres and a title yet it does have to come with a man who has some of those heroic qualities – humor, the ability to put us first and the knowledge that we are worthy of love.

In its way, this book is an ode (sonnet? limerick?) to the romance reader community – and I think it does us all proud.

Sarah says that just about every romance reader she has met can remember what the first romance they ever read was. Well, I certainly can. It was Kingdom of Dreams by Judith Mcnaught, my mom gave it to me and it has had a special place on my keeper shelf ever since.

Romance novels may just be delicious escapism, but as Sarah confirms – we sure can learn a lot from them.(less)

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Dec 14, 2011 Lesa rated it 4 of 5 stars

What gives Sarah Wendell the credibility to write a book called Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels? Wendell is “Smart Bitch Sarah” from the romance novel website, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. For six years, she’s been reviewing romance novels, discussing them with thousands of readers, and evaluating readers’ likes and dislikes. Now, she’s compiled lessons learned from the books and authors in a fascinating book containing life and relationship skills.

Wendell finds it’s w...more What gives Sarah Wendell the credibility to write a book called Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels? Wendell is “Smart Bitch Sarah” from the romance novel website, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. For six years, she’s been reviewing romance novels, discussing them with thousands of readers, and evaluating readers’ likes and dislikes. Now, she’s compiled lessons learned from the books and authors in a fascinating book containing life and relationship skills.

Wendell finds it’s worthwhile “Celebrating romance novels for every important thing they teach us about ourselves, the people we love, and the relationships we value.” Although the emphasis is on romantic love, it’s important to know that lessons about respect and communication can benefit any relationship. Romance author Loretta Chase said, “Romances teach readers that we should know ourselves and value ourselves, in order to find happiness.”

This is a serious, but fun book. What reader wouldn’t want to see the list of “The Top Nine Romance Heroes”? Wendell left room for everyone to add their personal favorite. And, it’s fascinating to read the comments of romance authors and readers about their favorite characters. And, then there’s Wendell’s funny tribute to all those romance covers with the men on them, “Six Simple Steps to Looking Like the Quintessential Romance Hero.” It starts with, “Acquire a mullet.”

I’m not going to give you the list of romance heroes, or the rest of Wendell’s tongue-in-cheek list view of pictured heroes. I am going to suggest this book is worth picking up with its messages of personal growth, value, and respect. Author Kresley Cole addresses the “Happily Ever After,” HEA of romances. “I believe that above all things, romance novels teach us that HEAS don’t come easy. As in real life, these relationships take effort, dedication, and sacrifice.”

Romance novels have come a long way from the “bodice rippers” people scorn when they think of romances. There just might be valuable lessons for everyone in Sarah Wendell’s Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels.(less)

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Nov 13, 2011 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

Giving this three stars because I agree with the book's basic premise and I think that for many people, it would be a funny, insightful introduction to romance novels and their validity as a genre. Personally, I just could not get into it; I tried several times, got to about page 67, just came to a halt. The tone is a bit all over the place, and the inset quotes from the main text make it come off like a magazine or a particularly slick blog entry. It's also kind of repetitive, or rather, it's n...more

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Sep 06, 2011 Linda Banche rated it 5 of 5 stars

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LOVE I LEARNED FROM ROMANCE Novels by Sarah Wendell is a joyous celebration of those novels we all love to read, romances.

Contemporary, historical, time travel, urban fantasy--we can't get enough of these stories. And not just because of gorgeous heroes with ridged muscles and large…ahems. Whatever trials the hero and heroine suffer in these courtship stories, the book always ends with a Happily Ever After (HEA). In an imperfect world, romances give us hope that we can so...more

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Feb 01, 2012 Hannah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: romance-lovers-book-club, read-2012, nonfiction

Everything I Know About Love I Learned From Romance Novels is more than just a passionate defense of a much-maligned genre. It is a how-to book on achieving happily-ever-afters in the real world. Although it isn't perfect, this little book is full of great advice, affirmation, and hope.

Sarah Wendell's writing style is chatty and entertaining, but sometimes it reads a little too much like a blog. In my opinion, she uses a bit too much slang and internet-speak. She also loves run-on sentences. On...more

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Nov 29, 2011 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, romance, writing

I don't often say this about a book, but dang it's pretty. I was quite disappointed with the e-version of this book then I received a paperback. It feels nice. It's inside covers are gorgeous. I'm in love with the physical version of this book. As much as I love my nook, sometimes you just can't beat the real thing in your hands. Sigh.

This book is a love letter to romances. If you've ever been skeptical about reading romances, Ms. Wendell may change your mind. She makes the case for why reading...more

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Oct 24, 2011 Micki rated it 3 of 5 stars

Hmmm. Some major problems with this book. First, it seems to be an extended defense of why it's OK to read romance novels, and that defense is not really well supported by actual numbers (Harlequin research is cited, IIRC, but not that many real numbers), nor by the excerpts. It's kind of preaching to the choir, so if you like that sort of thing, you may want to pick up the book.

Second, I expected it to give specific problems (which it did) and show by specific romance examples how those problem...more

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Sep 26, 2011 Denae rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: recommended-by-a-friend, read-in-2011, challenge-1010-by-2020

Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels has left me rather conflicted. A week ago, I would not have believed anyone who told me that I would own and read this book, let alone that I would have bought it full price. That was before I met Sarah Wendell and heard her on a panel about love in literature.

I loved both Sarah's personality and her passion for the subject of romance novels and what they can teach. These things came through incredibly clearly both when she spoke and in...more

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May 02, 2013 Aoi rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction

How fine is it to re-iterate reading romance novels (is not only fun), but a learning experience for romantic relationships!

Smart Bitches Trashy Books co-writer Sarah Wendell embarks on an exploration on the benefits of spending the day reading about billionaire oil tycoons and rugged cowboys. The book covers a variety of themes, and how romance readers have been influenced through their lives- allowing teenagers to tentatively explore sexuality, but not necessarily giving in to peer pressure;...more

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Feb 26, 2012 Beccie rated it 2 of 5 stars

I won this book through a giveaway from Goodreads First Reads. Sarah includes lots of quotes from authors and readers. She brings humor to the stereotypical romance novel and their readers. A lot of what she mentioned is true. I as a romance junkie in no way have delusions of grandeur when it comes to relationships, love, men, and sex. I'm a realist and understand that relationships take work to make them last, they aren't all happily ever after, and men and love are complicated. That being said...more

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Sep 28, 2011 SOS Aloha rated it 4 of 5 stars

I requested to review EIKAL since I read Sarah Wendell’s romance blog, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (she refers to her new book as EIKAL). I have also heard Sarah speak at the RT Booklovers’ Conventions and the RWA National Conventions – she is confident, sassy, and proud of her affiliation with the romance industry. EIKAL is a natural flow of what she says at conventions - that romance empowers readers.

EIKAL was a pleasure to read as it promoted the positive elements of romance books. I recall...more

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Nov 29, 2011 Melinda rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: romance novel readers who want community and folks who don't understand the appeal of romance novels

Shelves: trashy-romance

Romance novel readers are intelligent people. We are critical thinkers with healthy relationships. We are self-confident and independent. And we love ROMANCE!

Romance has gotten a super bad rep over the years and Sarah Wendell is here to show you who romance readers are and why they love the genre. This book is upbeat and full of mockery while simultaneously serious about the things one can learn from romance novels. No one truly believes that love is going to happen like it happens in a romance...more

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Sep 08, 2011 Holly rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-completed

I picked up my first romance novel at the age of 12, and just like that I was hooked. By the time I was in high school, I read romance almost exclusively and, during a productive week, could read (or re-read) 5-7 books. And yet, I was made to feel ashamed. My guy friends would grab them from my hands and flip through them until they found a sex scene and attempt to read it out loud. I get it. They were 16 and it was sex and boys pick on you to show their affection at that age. Yet, it still hurt...more I picked up my first romance novel at the age of 12, and just like that I was hooked. By the time I was in high school, I read romance almost exclusively and, during a productive week, could read (or re-read) 5-7 books. And yet, I was made to feel ashamed. My guy friends would grab them from my hands and flip through them until they found a sex scene and attempt to read it out loud. I get it. They were 16 and it was sex and boys pick on you to show their affection at that age. Yet, it still hurt, and I still felt like I needed to hide my reading habits. Or at least my book covers. And as I’ve grown, I’ve learned a thing or two about not being ashamed of my books, but romance is still tragically not recognized by many as something smart women read.

When I was reading Everything I Know About Love I Learned from Romance Novels (heretofore known as EIKAL) by Sarah Wendell, goddess of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, I sent a friend a text message that said “this book is validating my entire existence.” And then I tweeted the same sentiment to both Sarah and every one of my Twitter followers. This is it, I thought, this is the information and explanation I needed for those teenage douchecanoes all those years ago. She knows all the ways that being a romance fiend has made me a better person, a better friend, and quite a catch, frankly. Yes, it was probably dramatic of me, but there was a great deal of truth to it. Wendell is offering something fantastic to romance readers in EIKAL.

In her previous book, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches Guide to Romance Novels, Wendell & her co-author Candy Tan offered a kind of Romance Novel 101. They answered the questions of ‘What exactly is a romance novel, how long have they been around, and what are the themes and archetypes embodied in them?’ In EIKAL, Wendell tackles something akin to Romance Novel 201, taking a look at how romance readers are affected by the romances they read.

Throwing out the idea, as she did in Beyond Heaving Bosoms, that romances are meaningless bits of fluff, Wendell clearly and with great humor gives voice to all the things romance readers have long known about their beloved genre but may not have been able to articulate: these books teach us something. They give us safe spaces to explore what we want out of real life relationships. They help us learn communication and problem solving skills. They teach us a thing or two about good sex. And they do it while entertaining our pants off.

If you’ve read any of Wendell’s work for Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, you’ll recognize her writing voice in this book. She’s quite often funny, delightfully direct, and always insightful. Quotes from popular romances and from authors themselves serve as Wendell’s source material, and I dare you to read this book without making a shopping list. In fact, Wendell includes one at the end, because she’s got our backs like that.

If you’re a long-time lover of romance or even a recent convert, you’ll like this book. Like me, you’ll thrill when Wendell quotes an author or book you like or mentions a character that you’ve been in love with for years. If you’re one of those people who thinks romances are trashy and useless: you’re wrong, you should let me smack you about the head, and you should read this book to find out why you‘re a wrong meany-head. My only complaint? This book should come in a big box with all the books Wendell has on the shopping list! I’d buy it.
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Sep 29, 2012 Kazen rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I'm torn. I want to give more stars because I agree with the message - romances don't create unrealistic expectations, on the contrary, they provide a way to examine all sorts of relationships and determine what works and what doesn't. By seeing everything out on the page you can ask yourself, what if that happened to me? How would I react? Would I want the hero to act like that? Each novel is like a case study in love.

But as wonderful as the message is the way it was delivered was less than ide...more I'm torn. I want to give more stars because I agree with the message - romances don't create unrealistic expectations, on the contrary, they provide a way to examine all sorts of relationships and determine what works and what doesn't. By seeing everything out on the page you can ask yourself, what if that happened to me? How would I react? Would I want the hero to act like that? Each novel is like a case study in love.

But as wonderful as the message is the way it was delivered was less than ideal. First, a good 15 percent of the book was pull quotes from the previous, or even the same, page. They might have worked better in the physical book but on my e-reader they were intrusive and annoying.

Second, a large chunk of the book consists of reader and author quotes, and they get more numerous as the book wears on. Don't get me wrong, some of the testimonials are amazing - one woman's journey through trauma and depression with the aid of books is particularly memorable - but with so many quotes the whole thing feels jumbled. I love Wendell's style and wish more of her own writing graced the page.

Third, some parts were incomprehensible to me, a new-ish romance reader. I usually stick to paranormals so the explanation of Old Skool vs. New Skool was educational, but quick sketch outlines of heroes, trying extremely hard to be spoiler-free, came out convoluted and confusing. Some of the "favorite scenes" were little more than a paragraph and laughable without context. Here's how the excerpt from Heaven and Earth by Nora Roberts starts:

"I don't want you here." She shoved at him, and her voice began to hitch. "I don't want you near me."

"Why?"

"Because, you moron, I'm in love with you."

...I cracked up. How could you not? I'm sure in the book it's a touching moment but yanked out like that it's cliche.

Am I glad I read this book? Sure. I discovered a few series I'd like to check out, and there are some good laughs, both intentional and not. Will I be recommending it to my friends? Not so much.(less)

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Jan 11, 2012 Jennifer rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-reads

The word of the day is: Derivative.

Wendell brings her Smart Bitches, Trashy Books shtick to the world of self improvement with only middling results, possibly because the majority of Everything I Know seems to have been lifted directly from either her previous book (Beyond Heaving Bosoms) or the SBTB website.

There's nothing particularly offensive or annoying here, but neither is there anything especially illuminating or insightful. Wendell seems to rely on only a handful of romance writers to il...more

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Nov 13, 2011 Malin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: my-books

Sarah Wendell, also popularly known on the internet as Smart Bitch Sarah, is the co-founder of the romance blogsite Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, which is one of several websites I discovered a few years ago, which helped me rediscover my love of romance as a genre. Readers of my book blog will know that I read a LOT of it, and Sarah Wendell, in this book, as well as in her previous novel, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels, explains why it's such a hugely popular g...more

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Oct 05, 2011 Jo (My House of Books) rated it 3 of 5 stars

3.5 stars

This book is about celebrating romance novels for every important thing they teach us about ourselves, the people we love, and the relationships we value--and the sex we have.

Amen! And I loved every minute of it.

I'm not a regular Smart Bitches reader, but when I do go for a visit, I'm always glad I did. Everything I Know About Love... is exactly like that -- I'm glad I read it, and feel a little happier for it. A book about promoting the positives of romance and romance reading, Every...more

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Nov 13, 2011 Shelley rated it 3 of 5 stars

"You don't see adult gamers being accused of an inability to discern when one is a human driving a real car and when one is a yellow dinosaur driving Mario Kart, but romance readers hear about their unrealistic expectations of men almost constantly." Word. Of course women are too stupid to know fiction v. reality, right? Haaaate.

Half of my reaction to this book was similar to my reaction to the Glee concert movie - I know fans, I don't need this much focus on them, where's the good stuff? But t...more

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Feb 01, 2012 Jess rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-new, library-book, romance, 2012-all

This book is everything I have always wanted to explain to other people about why I (and so many others) read romance novels. I need to buy a copy so that I can doodle hearts all over the cover and tell it how much I love it because yes.

There is value in affirming stories that teach you what you want and what you deserve and how to ask for what you want. There is value in teaching someone whose only memory of their parents marriage is hiding behind their bedroom door with their little sister so...more

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Nov 03, 2011 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Romance novel fans

Shelves: kindle

This is the second novel (essay?) written by Sarah Wendall, her first being Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels with Candy Tan. I liked that one a lot so I picked this up on a whim.

I liked it well enough, I would probably give it 3 1/2 stars if that was possible. I think there are good points being made here, and I like it when people stand up to defend romance novels as a genre. That said it is very much a preaching to the choir type of book since I'm not sure if...more

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Sep 09, 2011 Alina rated it 4 of 5 stars

I didn't expect this book to make me tear up, but it did. I didn't expect it to fill me with a warm, fuzzy type of comfort, but it did. I did expect it to entertain and delight me, and it did that. I should've expected the first two things, too, after all, reading can be an intensely personal experience and this is a book that collects some very candid, personal experiences.

I also didn't expect it to validate my habit of skipping ahead to the end, but it also did that, for which my undying devo...more

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Jan 30, 2012 steph rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2012, enjoyable

This book reminded me that it was okay for me to read romance novels. It was okay for me to like romance novels and it was okay for me to talk about reading/liking romance novels. This book is something I would give all romance readers/writers big or small just to show them how romance novels have impacted our lives for the better and how we have learned to have better relationships with people in our lives from reading romance novels. One of my favorite things about this book however, was how i...more

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Mar 05, 2012 Melissa rated it 3 of 5 stars

I would probably give this 3.75 stars.

It has some good concepts, but it can be a bit hard to tell who is"talking" at the time. There are so many contributing people who Sarah quotes that you can get lost in who exactly is doing the talking when. It also gets a bit fuzzy with some of the made up words, which I would probably be more familiar with if I more routinely read the banter on the blog.

However she makes sure to introduce and wrap up each chapter well.

All that said, it certainly has some...more

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Oct 31, 2011 Whitney rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm not a huge romance reader, but as an aspiring public librarian I think this should be required reading for all collection developers. Those romance novels just fly off the shelf in a lot of libraries and this book helped me understand a little bit more about why people (or, let's face it, women) are so addicted to them. This book also made me consider the possible positive side effects of putting good romance novels in the hands of teenage girls because they promote assertiveness and waiting...more

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About Sarah Wendell

Sarah Wendell is a transplanted Pittsburgher currently living in New York metropolitan area. By day she's mild mannered and heavily caffeinated. By evening she dons her cranky costume, consumes yet more caffeine, and becomes Smart Bitch Sarah of
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. The site specializes in reviewing romance novels, examining the history and future of the genre, and bemoaning the enormous pr...more

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“Being in the habit of saying "Thank you," of making sure that people receive attention so they know you value them, of not presuming that people will always be there--this is a good habit, regardless...make sure to give virtual and actual high-fives to those who rock and rock hard.” — 21 people liked it

“To quote French author Francois Mauriac, 'Tell me what you read and I'll tell you who your are' is true enough, but I'd know you better if you told me what you reread.” — 11 people liked it

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