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How to Survive a Horror Movie

really liked it 4.00  ·  Rating Details  ·  1,500 Ratings  ·  214 Reviews
Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:

• How to Perform an Exorcism
• What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer
• How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheri
...more
ebook, 0 pages
Published May 18th 2011 by Quirk Books (first published May 1st 2007)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Mike (the Paladin)
I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. Sh ...more
karen
Feb 18, 2009 karen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: for-laughter
i had to read this when i saw that he has a jane austen/zombie book coming out soon. this was a good way to kill time until the release date. but now i am finally going to have to read pride and prejudice!! dammit!
Trudi
Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius.

The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are
...more
Gary
Well, now I know that all I have to do to survive is whip my junk out since full-frontal male nudity does not exist in horror films. Cheers!
Jennifer
Dec 02, 2015 Jennifer rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
The Good: The book starts off with a delightful prologue from Wes Craven, which is definitely worth the read. Seth Grahame-Smith is quickly becoming a household name, especially with a movie adaption of his Pride & Prejudice & Zombies coming out soon. How to Survive a Horror Movie contains a wealth of his tongue-in-cheek humor that fans will love. As an avid horror movie fan, I appreciated quite a bit of what the author was putting out there in this book. "What to Do If Your Corn Has Chi ...more
Michael
Mar 03, 2016 Michael rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Let's be honest here and admit that for the most part that horror films are predictable. Scream gave us some easy to follow rules to survive a horror movie and now we have a survival guide written by the guy who gave us Pride Prejudice And Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. How you view this book depends on your views of the horror genre. If you aren't a fan then you'll hate this (if you hate horror films why are you even reading this review?). It's quite a humorous book that doesn't t ...more
Brenton Nichol
Feb 08, 2009 Brenton Nichol rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next.

I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse w
...more
Laura
Jan 05, 2009 Laura rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Recommended to Laura by: no one
Shelves: adult
Hilarious! Takes a lot from classic, easy to recognize horror movies and compiles advice in humorous and bizarre lists. This author has a great sense of humor and the book is pretty short which is the perfect length to end before the jokes get stale. Anyone who enjoys the older horror movies like Nightmare on Elm street, Halloween, Friday the 13th, the Shining, Children of the Corn, Pet Sementary, etc. will have fun with this book.
This book wins the award of MOST impulsive buy! But the laughs I
...more
Julia
Mar 24, 2016 Julia rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was so awesome. As a horror movie fanatic, I really love this type of thing. It was really hilarious and poked fun at all the stupid things that happen in horror movies without denouncing the genre. It was packed with tons of references to various horror movies across the genre (from Halloween to Saw to Snakes on a Plane). And with a foreword by Wes Craven, you may be able to do no wrong. This book reminded me of Scream in many ways, but it really expanded and included various genres and si ...more
Geli
A completely hilarious book with great advice. Seriously, I would carry this with me always just in case that so called fun camping trip turns into a nightmare when we stumble upon an ax murder. You never know when you'll need to reference it. Seth Grahame-Smith covers everything you'll ever need to know if ever caught in a horror movie situation. This will keep you laughing out loud and remembering all your favorite B horror films. I cant wait to read more of his work.
Alex Le
Mar 10, 2016 Alex Le rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book it was just simply amazing and also magnificent.

This book is about well you already know by reading the title its How to Survive a Horror movie its teaching you the wave of how to become and expert survivalist if you ever get dragged into the terrorverse.

I enjoyed this book simply because it was very entertaining and also because it was in my interest most likely because I love horror movies and others so I know all about the cliches and was able to understand it very easily.
Scott Rhee
Oct 11, 2013 Scott Rhee rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: horror, humor, nonfiction
Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books.

In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps unli
...more
Robert Chartrand
Mar 18, 2009 Robert Chartrand rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Fans of horror movies and/or sitirical survival books
Shelves: teen, adult, non-fiction, humor
Being a huge fan of the comical "survival guides," there was no way that I was going to pass this one up. As the title clearly gives away, the book takes you on a step-by-step journey on how to survive being in a horror movie.
It starts off with how to tell that you are in a horror movie, and then how to figure out what kind of horror movie you are in. From there is gives you advice on how to survive and handle various situations.
The majority of the book goes through all of the stereotypical hor
...more
Tina Rae
May 09, 2012 Tina Rae rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans
Shelves: favorites
This is honestly and truly one of the most hilarious books I have ever read in my life. And to think, I just happened upon it by accident! I was walking through Hastings one night, searching for James Bond books when, suddenly, I saw this one. And I bought it.

Best. Purchase. Ever.

I've always loved horror movies and so I think it's safe to say I've seen my fair share of them. Reading this book is honestly one of the greatest experiences of my life. All of the silly things that happen in horror mo
...more
jacky
Mar 25, 2010 jacky rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: horror movie fans!
Shelves: horror, 2010
What a fun book! I was worried that this would be dry like Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, but this was very humorous. Unlike Brooks' book, this does not take the situation seriously. Grahame-Smith toys with the idea that you are actually IN the movie allowing for a lot of humor and less practicality. Not for those who don't know their horror movie basics though, or else they won't find it nearly as funny. I would have laughed out loud in several places if I had read this next to a sleeping ...more
 Olivermagnus
This was a hysterically funny book, especially if you are a fan of horror movies. The author has divided the book into sections and covers every known sub-genre of the horror movie industry. He has also turned the horror movie industry into a space called The Terrorverse.

The book tells us from the beginning that being a teenager is hard. It's even harder when teenage employment like babysitting and camp counseling puts you right on the path to the Terrorverse. To survive the horror movie you've
...more
Jennifer Daniel
Jan 15, 2014 Jennifer Daniel rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
Too funny!!!! If you liked the nerd in Scream that was warning everyone about classic horror movie mistakes, this is the book for you! My favorite bit of advice was if a ghostly/demonic force was pining you against the wall, begin singing Lionel Ritchie's "Dancing on the Ceiling" and the evil force will immediately throw you out of the haunted/possessed house where you may run away to safety. Every single page had me laughing out loud. Definitely going to look into other work by this author.
Christal
If you are a horror movie fan (you don't have to be a guru) you will def enjoy this book. It's not a 'horror movies for dummies' but rather a 'OMG I am stuck in a horror movie, how do I survive?!' 12 step guide LOL.

SGS covers all your basic genres from evil dolls to alien invasion to possession, and the penultimate... Satan himself LOL. He also offers tidbits of last chance escape plans in case you are about to get eaten, slashed, or demonized. Smith has a great sense of humor and I didn't feel
...more
Zaq
Feb 14, 2013 Zaq rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Reading the title, and knowing Grahame-Smith's work, I expected this to be a pretty decent read. I am a huge horror fan and have a high standard on what is said on it.

Reading this was an amazing experience.

From Wes Craven's introduction to what you should do when your director is out to kill you, it was a fascinating read for anyone who has even the slightest like for Horror, let alone a huge love for it.
Ariel
Horror is all I can think when reading this book. Horror, and sheer comedy. This witty take on how to survive a horror movie is fabulous. Almost every classic horror movie has somehow made it's way into this book. From the Child's Play series, to Halloween, it's got it all. So the reader is finally being accepted into the world of film, only, it's a horror movie, so their probably going to end up dead. This book will tell readers how to survive. How to turn a nasty, freakish moment into one of c ...more
Flying Off The Shelves
How To Survive A Horror Movie is a great companion book to a dark and stormy night. This is a fun yet serious guide to the horror movie universe. It even has a foreword by Wes Craven, one of the great creators in this genre. Seth Grahame-Smith took the rules we hear about in Scream a great step forward. This book describes all the different types of horror as well as what isn't horror. Not only are the different types recognized but they are also dissected in a very comical way.

As a horror afici
...more
Khawla O 240521
I like the book, but not that much. I think that I reached a point that I didn't want to complete it. But I believe that it would help people who have some issues with horror movie. The book has a good grammar, good structure, easy vocabulary. The book is a combination between comedy and horror. I believe that the tips are very helpful. I recommend you to read this book.
Joeh
Dec 17, 2010 Joeh rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
the reason why I chose this book because my older sister lant me the book for a cupal days I read a fuw pages and my sister took it back and i get to finish the book wich im very thankful for and this book was very funny and you can uses that book to know what gonna happan next in a horror movie and in the last pages tall you what good horror movie to whach
Tom
Mar 02, 2015 Tom rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's pretty much exactly what it says on the cover. The premise is that the reader is trapped in the "Terrorverse" where sadistic directors and screenwriters try to kill the reader off, but the reader can expect to survive as long as he or she takes some advice from the book and pays attention to the genre's conventions, avoiding dangerous places and people, and remembering how to defeat, well, anything. For example, killer dolls are not surprisingly vulnerable to dogs and toddlers.

Grahame-Smith
...more
Casey
Aug 09, 2012 Casey rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fiction, epic
Strangely enough, this book is shelved in the non-fiction section of the library I borrowed it from. All I can say is they must know something I don't.
The book itself was creative, and what you'd expect from a writer like Mr. Smith.
My most negative point would be the art work... It could have been a lot better.
Voiceofmadness
May 03, 2015 Voiceofmadness rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
For horror fans who want a giggle.


Vampires, werewolves, zombies, hillbilly cannibals, dream monsters, all are covered and then some! I can't reveal much because you should read this and find out yourself.

The advice is very practical.

The cliche's were on point, as were the tips on how to stay alive. And if you're just screwed. First rule, recognize that you are in the Terror-verse. All of the steps were great and applicable to 96% of the horror movies I have seen.

It was a short and good read! W
...more
Nicolene.House.Of.Books
How to survive a horror movie - Seth Grahame Smith

I absolutely love this book! A reread for sure. This book is so funny and yet insightful. Seth brings all the classic horror/slasher movies in and gives great advice. A must read for all horror/slashers fans out there.
I think the "An apology from Wes Craven" is great.
I mist say I enjoyed the part about possessed dolls (chucky) hilarious.
This is by far one of my favorite books. I would definitely recommend it to everyone, not just horror/slasher
...more
Jeremy Breedlove
Dec 31, 2015 Jeremy Breedlove rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
How to Survive a Horror Movie is a fun love letter to the horror film genre. The book spends the majority of it's run time calling out horror movie tropes and stereotypes and it's fun to laugh along as a fan of these films.

The illustrations in How to Survive a Horror Movie really bring the whole experience together and the art style fits the subject matter quite well. With the quick read layout, this one can actually make for a really good coffee table book or bathroom reader.

Genre fans can spen
...more
Laura Mooré
Dec 25, 2015 Laura Mooré rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was hilarious and I 100% recommend it to anyone that loves horror films.
Jennifer
I wrote this book. Well, I annotated it. Snarky fun for any fan of the genre.
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Seth Grahame-Smith (born Seth Jared Greenberg) is an American author, screenwriter and film producer. He is best known for his novels Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which both hit the New York Times' best seller list. Seth Grahame-Smith lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife, Erin, and his son, Joshua.
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