Sign in with Facebook
Loading...
You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child
It's easy to recognize a strong-willed child. Difficult to discipline, at times impossible to motivate, strong-willed children present unique, frustrating, and often exhausting challenges to those who care for them. But now, the miracle parents long for can happen. Offering new hope, achievable goals, and a breath of fresh air to families and teachers, Cynthia Tobias expla...more
Hardcover, 192 pages
Published
August 17th 1999
by WaterBrook Press
(first published 1999)
Friend Reviews
To see what your friends thought of this book,
please sign up.
This book is not yet featured on Listopia.
Add this book to your favorite list »
Community Reviews
(showing
1-30
of
330)
"Think about it. Most employers are looking for someone with good social interaction, a high energy level, and independent thinking skills. We not only don't foster those traits in school, we often actively discourage them. And yet many highly successful people struggled with the traditional classroom demands and were labeled "inconvenient" at best, "disciplinary problems" at worst...." - quote from page 84
The first chapter offers an introduction & self-test to see if you have a strong-wille...more
The first chapter offers an introduction & self-test to see if you have a strong-wille...more
I gave this book a low rating not because I disagreed with her strategies of dealing with strong willed children. I just felt that she lacked original ideas. She constantly quoted Dobson, author of "The Strong-Willed Child" and Cline and Fay, authors of "Parenting with Love and Logic." Instead of reading a summary of their works, I would have rather just read the originals instead! Instead of a lot of anecdotes, I prefer to learn with direct instructions. There wasn't as much instruction as I li...more
I don't have a strong-willed child, but I WAS a strong willed child. I decided to see what this book was all about since a friend in the Mom's club was reading it. This book should be retitled: "Walk on eggshells around me so that I don't cause you any more grief". Although there are a few good strategies, most of the suggestions are pretty much telling you to walk on eggshells and acquiese to your kid. If my parents utilized the majority of strategies in this book, I would be even more of a mes...more
2 likes · like · see review
view 1 comment
This book only offers some common sense advice that if you have not already put into practice with your strong-willed child you might want to consider putting him/her up for adoption or getting professional help fast.
A book that I found much more helpful than this one is 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan.
Another thing that I have found very annoying is her delusional baby-boomer attitude that you should just follow your heart and your dreams and everything will sort it self-out for you career-wise a...more
A book that I found much more helpful than this one is 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan.
Another thing that I have found very annoying is her delusional baby-boomer attitude that you should just follow your heart and your dreams and everything will sort it self-out for you career-wise a...more
This book had some good strategies for helping me relate better with my strong-willed child. The main thing that I pulled from this text is that yes, it's important a SWC obey, but our parenting tactics may get an obedience at the expense of destroying our parent/child relationship. There are strategies to get an SWC to listen and obey through speaking their language. My relationship with my 5 year old has improved just from applying a few of the suggestions the author has written on. I think it...more
This book does not tell you up front, but it is a Christian book. I almost put it down, as that is not my perspective. She quoted James Dobson a few times, and I seriously considered returning it to the library. BUT, I pressed on because the info seemed right on. The book really described my oldest son and I think I got a lot of VERY useful strategies, not the typical, "break their spirit....they need to be afraid of you" kind of Christian stuff. It was more about working with your child, knowin...more
Oh the things you read because you are a parent.
This is a very short book, but has a lot of very useful information. Highly recomended for anyone with kids that find themselves yelling or getting frustrated often. It is very good advice, I think, will know better after I try some of the info in there.
Fair warning though, there is a lot of religion in this book, but it is still good advice.
Highly recomended for parents of kids of pretty much ANY age. Ok, well, from ages 2 to 40. Maybe older too...more
This is a very short book, but has a lot of very useful information. Highly recomended for anyone with kids that find themselves yelling or getting frustrated often. It is very good advice, I think, will know better after I try some of the info in there.
Fair warning though, there is a lot of religion in this book, but it is still good advice.
Highly recomended for parents of kids of pretty much ANY age. Ok, well, from ages 2 to 40. Maybe older too...more
If you are the parent of a strong-willed child (toddler, elementary age, teen, or young adult who moves back home), read this book.
This revised edition is user-friendly. The author provides headings, subheadings, bulleted questions, boldface numbered steps to take in specific instances, and a checklist to determine whether your child is, in fact, an SWC.
Numerous anecdotes from the author's personal and professional experience populate the book.
Heed the disclaimer, though. If one parent wants...more
This revised edition is user-friendly. The author provides headings, subheadings, bulleted questions, boldface numbered steps to take in specific instances, and a checklist to determine whether your child is, in fact, an SWC.
Numerous anecdotes from the author's personal and professional experience populate the book.
Heed the disclaimer, though. If one parent wants...more
When I picked this book on CD up, I didn't actually think I needed it. I was just thinking it was short and the subject seemed interesting. Well blow me away! I learned so much in the 4 CD's! A lot of it is common sense that we know, but don't really understand. I recommend this book for anyone with children, young or grown. I also recommend this book for people who are married, especially to someone who is strong-willed. I honestly think with book will help my relationships with my husband and...more
Eh...I liked the approach of this book better than "Parenting with Love and Logic," but there's very little substance here. Tobias relies heavily on "Parenting with Love and Logic" and on Dobson's "The Strong Willed Child," which I haven't read yet.
There may be 5 original concrete ideas in the text. Fortunately, the book is a quick, short read (it took me about 3 total hours) so it may, or may not be worth the time to glean those 5 tid-bits. I'd simply recommend reading Love and Logic and/or Th...more
There may be 5 original concrete ideas in the text. Fortunately, the book is a quick, short read (it took me about 3 total hours) so it may, or may not be worth the time to glean those 5 tid-bits. I'd simply recommend reading Love and Logic and/or Th...more
10-10-11
This was highly recommended to me by a dear friend with a strong willed son who is about eight years older than my strong willed daughter. Oh boy, we have been having some hard moments, days and weeks with our girl lately. She's always been difficult for me to parent but this is some uncharted territory. I've learned a thing or two over the years, and if I could go back and start over with her, I'd know much better how to appreciate her wonderful self as a baby, toddler, little kid. I wo...more
This was highly recommended to me by a dear friend with a strong willed son who is about eight years older than my strong willed daughter. Oh boy, we have been having some hard moments, days and weeks with our girl lately. She's always been difficult for me to parent but this is some uncharted territory. I've learned a thing or two over the years, and if I could go back and start over with her, I'd know much better how to appreciate her wonderful self as a baby, toddler, little kid. I wo...more
1 like · like · see review
I think there are some valid, good strategies in this book. However, I don't think my strong-willed child is going to magically fall in line because I framed things as a question instead of a statement. I did like the intro that showed how differently strong-willed children think, and the opinion that deviated from the old break their will attitude.
Tobias' book is very simple (and a very quick read), but I think very helpful when it comes to dealing with strong-willed children. Tobias is thoroughly grace-based and she is always directing the parent back to his or her own heart. That is her real strength. Like Kimmel, I think she can be a bit too soft at times, but her foundation is solid.
Good insight into the strong-willed person's mind and way of thinking. Good, practical tips on how to phrase things to prevent power struggles and instant resistance. Very easy to read, had lots of good examples, and helped DH and I to each identify strong willed aspects of our personalities as well as our son's personality. But we're left with knowing why he's reacting a certain way more than always having tools to do anything about it.
I really like the parenting with love and logic approach and this author brings many of the same basic ideas to this title. This was a timely reminder on how to deal with my kids. We are a family of 4 and there is not one of us who ISN'T strong willed so there were many useful tips in this one.
Jan 12, 2013
Dalaina May
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting-marriage-family,
non-fiction
Simple and very helpful for parents raising a kid who will turn down candy in order to say no (that would be my second son). While not a fundamental parenting book or applicable for all children, I think this book would be very helpful for any parent who has a hard time understanding their hard-headed kid.
I found this book to be insightful since I have two wrong willed children. I liked that she view strong will as a positive trait instead of negative. I wish I could have read this book years ago for my oldest but its never to late to use the strategies.
Useful. Written BY a strong-willed child (SWC), who also parented a SWC l, and was a teacher for 8 years, now a Christian counselor and speaker. Helpful and insightful; is written from a relatively traditional Christian perspective, general behavior management techniques though.
This was an amazingly insightful book. It combines Love and Logic with a little something more-dealing with a child who is strong willed. I've never thought that all LL strategies could apply to every child and this proves it, but then gives amazing advice to conquer the battles and to successfully raise and build relationships with the SWC.
a few good tips but the rest of this book was obvious parenting tips. aren't all kids strong willed about something!? I think persuasion works sometimes but you shouldn't constantly be bargaining with your kids.
Excellent, practical strategies for fostering a relationship with a strong-willed child while also establishing boundaries. Great accompany book to James Dobson's "The Strong-Willed Child".
This book is awesome! If you think you have a strong-willed child (i.e. one that has to do things his way or no way!) then you will love this. It reminded me how those with strong personalities can grow up to change the world, as long as we know the best way to teach and guide them.
I've been having a hard time w/my strong willed toddler, and this book scared the heck out of me. I'm already following love and logic parenting & I had read the books she referenced. All her book did was make me want to try harder so she does not end up similar to the author.
Written about strong willed children from the perspective of a strong willed adult. It is a positive, up-beat work on how to bring out the best in your kids.
This is about strong-willed children. But oh how I found myself in these pages! So good for those dealing with a strong-willed child, or strong-willed spouse.
Some info was helpful. Living with a Strong Willed Child is hard. I think the thing I gained from this book is the perspective of what my child may be thinking and why.
This book had many great points, but it was really hard to get through for both my husband and myself. We agreed that it was because there were not enough personal stories. She has been working with strong-willed children for many years and would surely have many stories to relate that would illustrate her points. The information seems to come at you with little interruption making it difficult to recall later. With a few stories, the points and applications are much easier to remember. As it wa...more
Really helped me in understanding and dealing with my VERY strong willed child.
Feb 10, 2013
Jenna Kay
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
parenting-or-something-like-it
It's an easy read. But as someone with an EXTREME SWC, I need more help. A lot more help.
Great book for understanding the hard headed kid.
There are no discussion topics on this book yet.
Be the first to start one »
