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Love Is a Story: A New Theory of Relationships

3.75  ·  Rating Details ·  91 Ratings  ·  10 Reviews
In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story--and how to read your relationships in a whole new light.
What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showi
Paperback, 256 pages
Published June 3rd 1999 by Oxford University Press, USA (first published February 12th 1998)
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Aug 30, 2011 Liam rated it liked it
“We fall in love with a person, but perhaps it is even more accurate to say that we fall in love with a story about a person.” (34)
Jun 11, 2011 Xaka rated it it was amazing
This book is a must-have for folks who have been dissatisfied by the partners they've chosen in their previous relationships. The theory breaks down various types of stories people are trying to create or believe in creating when it comes to their relationships and talks about the advantages and disadvantages of all of them. For instance, people who believe in war stories might have fulfilling argumentative relationships that last forever even though outsiders can't understand what is keeping th ...more
Jul 24, 2016 Sven rated it it was amazing
Robert Sternberg describes relationships through the lens of storytelling. Depending on the stories we unconciously chose for ourselves, we play out different roles in our relationships.

There's an infinite amount of possible stories, but he presents some of the more common he found in his studies (25). Interestingly they correspond for the most part with the stories we like to experience in movies, books and other media.

For example, there's the mystery story, the war story, even the horror story
Sally Raskoff
Apr 16, 2015 Sally Raskoff rated it liked it
I got this for a class I'm teaching - I teach Sternberg's Triangular Theory and wanted to see what he's up to..
Carlos Ls
Mar 19, 2014 Carlos Ls rated it it was ok
Sólo que no tengo algo mejor que hacer o su relación de pareja esté muy jodida, léanlo. Si no, no
May 09, 2009 Izlinda rated it it was amazing
Recommended to Izlinda by: Bridgett Mahoney
Shelves: psychology
Written in a flowing style, this book is entertaining and also educational. It may be a bit shallow, giving 20-plus "stories" people hold about love without going more in-depth into the advantages and disadvantages of each "story" but it is a good introduction. I'm sure there are plenty of other books (psychological or self-help) where the specific "stories" explored in depth, even if, for example, they are not called "horror" or "police" stories per se.
Feb 10, 2009 Nubia rated it liked it
A very novel idea, a theory that I believe is very real and a smooth way of teling it. Very good book, though the last 1/3 was kind of boring to me since I was able to predict the descriptions of cases that were ilustrating each story. That much I integrated his analysis!
Jul 23, 2016 Qi rated it did not like it
I picked up this book out of curiosity since it is mentioned in the "animal spirit" by Akerlof and Shiller. What a dirge! A complete waste of time to go through these baby-talking narratives of "love stories".
Debby Chang
Oct 01, 2014 Debby Chang rated it liked it
Very entertaining but not necessarily convincing as a methodology for relationship diagnosis. Also played uncomfortably into my natural inclinations to treat life like a Hollywood popcorn movie
Jan 13, 2010 Casey rated it liked it
Great insite into the dynamics of relationships.
ne rated it liked it
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Robert J. Sternberg's spectacular research career in psychology had a rather inauspicious beginning. In elementary school he performed poorly on IQ tests, and his teachers' actions conveyed their low expectations for his future progress. Everything changed when his fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Alexa, saw that he had potential and challenged him to do better. With her encouragement, he became a high- ...more
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