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The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life's Most Difficult Problems

4.08  ·  Rating Details  ·  660 Ratings  ·  88 Reviews
From the multimillion-copy bestselling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—hailed as the #1 Most Influential Business Book of the Twentieth Century—The 3rd Alternative introduces a breakthrough approach to conflict resolution and creative problem solving.

One of Time magazine’s 25 most influential Americans, Dr. Stephen R. Covey has helped millions transform t
Hardcover, 456 pages
Published October 4th 2011 by Free Press (first published January 1st 2011)
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Ahmed Almawali

أنهيت للتو رائعة رائد التنمية البشرية ستيفن كوفي، الذي ذاع صيته من كتابه الشهير العادات السبع للناس الأكثر فعاليه، هذا الكتاب طويل يناهز 500 صفحة كما ذكرت في تعليق سابق، وكل الحديث عن فكرة واحدة، تعاد وتكرر ويسهب الحديث فيها ألا وهي دائما التفكير بأسلوب غير نمطي، لا أن تحل المشكلة وتفكر فيها بين بديلين لا ثالث لهما، يعني لسنا نحن في مقابل هم ، علينا ان نقول ماذا علينا أن نفعل.
الفصول التالية لمقدمة الكتاب والتي شرحت بإسهاب المهادلة التالية: انا ارى نفسي بتمعن بعيد عن برمجة سابقة، وأنا أرى الآخر
Apr 20, 2012 Lance rated it it was amazing
Covey's latest book is simply a masterpiece. I was wondering where he could possibly go after writing The 8th Habit, which led me to conclude that Covey had taken the next level up from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. How could he possibly outdo that book?

Well, he's done it. He's taken what he did with 7 Habits and The 8th Habit and knocked his game up not just to the next level but several levels higher. This book is pure transformation waiting to happen. Covey unfolds how the principl
Jay Connor
Jan 22, 2012 Jay Connor rated it liked it
Covey has done a lot of good. His "Seven Habits" is THE self-improvement primer to a successful life. The habit -- begin with the end in mind -- is at the root of all of my "Working Differently" efforts.

"The 3rd Alternative" could have been so much more. I think Covey is right to try to modernize the Hegelian philosophy of thesis-antithesis-hypothesis. Though he fails to mention or credit Hegel, there is a powerful need in today's polarized debate to insert this leaven of humility. That, in fac
Jan 19, 2012 Lanier rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Anyone who feels fed up with black-and-white conflicts
Covey continues his Seven Habits and expands on overcoming all conflicts and "false dilemmas" with four step processes of better understanding the other in order to understand yourself. Empathic Listening and agreeing to respect one another no matter how adamant you were in your position in order to rise to a higher, better 3rd Alternative.

These are only a portion of the highlights:

“The demand for fairness can be the enemy of trust. Mutual trust is founded [up]on reciprocity, which req
Oct 07, 2011 Wendy rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is one of the most important books I've ever read, and it couldn't have come out at a better time. So grateful to Stephen Covey for sharing his wisdom, for rising above the nonsense and for trying to make a huge difference in our world.
Daniel Taylor
Aug 01, 2011 Daniel Taylor rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Anyone who needs to solve conflicts
Recommended to Daniel by: Publicist at Simon & Schuster
For readers familiar with the 7 Habits, this book delves deeply into Habit 6: Synergize. I won't post a review now because it won't be published until 4 October, 2011.
المدرب محمد الملا
أبدع ستيفن ر. كوفي تأليف هذا الكتاب الذي أصنفه شخصياً ضمن قائمة الكتب التي لا بد من قرائتها، لقد أجاد الكاتب صياغة الفكرة، وأجاد طرحها في الكتاب بدأً من إستعراض مبدأ وآلية التعاون الإبداعي مروراً بتطبيقات هذه الفكرة على عدة مجالات حياتية حساسة ومهمة وإنتهاءاً بالوصايا العشرين التي تساعد على جعل الشخص قادراً أكثر على القيام بالتعاون الإبداعي

أمامنا جميعاً خيارات محدودة في تعاطينا مع بعضنا البعض،
فإما الصراع مع بعضنا البعض
وإما الإنزواء عن بعضنا البعض،
وإما التعاون ..
وإذا كان التعاون هو الخيار فلي
Mar 01, 2013 Carol rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
By the author of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "The Third Alternative advocates synergy as a win-win strategy that is superior to compromise or arbitration or compromise in resolving differences of opinion. One of the best of current self-help authors, Stephen Covey is a master at extracting useful ideas from other writers and presenting them in useful, easily-recalled formulas and equations as an aid to personal and group problem-solving.

The "third alternative" is a proposed way of
May 23, 2013 سارة rated it it was amazing
كتابة ريفيو عن الكتاب صعبة جدا بجد
لانه كتاب عميق جدا
وإن كان يؤخذ عليه الإسهاب والتطويل إلا إن عمق الفكرة يتطلب الإسهاب

أعجبتني كثيرا القصص الملهمة والمقولات أيضا الملهمة جدا

((إنني لست مجرد "التوجه الذي أتبناه في أي جدال، فأنا كإنسان أكبر من مجموع تحيزاتي وتحزباتي وتصوراتي. أفكاري لا تحددها بصورة حصرية عائلتي ولا الثقافة التي أعيش فيها ولا الشركة التي أعمل بها))

((إنني لست مجرد كتلة صغيرة أنانية من الشكوى من أن العالم لا يناصر طريقتي في التفكير، فأنا أستطيع أن أنفصل عقليا عن نفسي، وأقيم مدى تأثير
Floris Wolswijk
Jan 02, 2015 Floris Wolswijk rated it it was amazing
The 3rd Alternative: Solving life’s most difficult problems by Stephen R. Covey is the accumulation of a life’s work on leadership, cooperation and achieving greatness. The book centers around the 3rd alternative thinking. To not think in 1) my way or 2) their way, but to 3) achieve synergy together (our way).

What makes the book so special is the setup of the chapters. Already in chapter 2 the theory of the 3rd alternative is explained very extensively. You are introduced to concepts as ‘seeing
Tomas Libas
Sep 21, 2014 Tomas Libas rated it it was amazing
Pretty amazing book from an amazing person. The main idea of the book is that a lot of time the 2 alternative choices or ideas are not ideal. What we should do then is:

1. ASK: "Would you like to find a better solution?"
2. DEFINE: "How should it look?"
3. CREATE alternatives: Midmapping, brainstorming, creating models, drawing on the board - playing.
4. FIND the 3rd alternative that is born from the 2 unique view points. When it's found, the tension and doubts disappear.

To effectively follow the 3r
May 17, 2012 Bart-Jan rated it really liked it
I think the world will be a better place if everyone has read this book. Although I would credit The Harvard Negotiation Project ("Getting to Yes") most for their work on principle based negotiation, Covey takes the concept of negotiating and solving conflicts to a new and higher level. The book gives great examples and hands-on tips. For example, a good opening question is: "are you prepared to work together with me on a better solution than you and I have come up individually?"
Khalid Alnaqbi
Oct 11, 2014 Khalid Alnaqbi rated it it was amazing
One of the best books I've ever read! I only recommend reading the first half of the book. The rest are details and more examples for the same concept.

What astonished me is that Covey dug deep into religions to see how could we use them as a 3rd alternative for religious conflicts. He used arabic words, such as: wasatyyah, jihad, intifadhah and so on. Sometimes I feel that he is a Muslim ^^"
سامي سيداحمد العسكري

أنهيت للتو رائعة رائد التنمية البشرية ستيفن كوفي، الذي ذاع صيته من كتابه الشهير العادات السبع للناس الأكثر فعاليه، هذا الكتاب طويل يناهز 500 صفحة كما ذكرت في تعليق سابق، وكل الحديث عن فكرة واحدة، تعاد وتكرر ويسهب الحديث فيها ألا وهي دائما التفكير بأسلوب غير نمطي، لا أن تحل المشكلة وتفكر فيها بين بديلين لا ثالث لهما، يعني لسنا نحن في مقابل هم، علينا ان نقول ماذا علينا أن نفعل.
May 15, 2012 Chris rated it it was amazing
Shelves: non-fiction
This book describes how one can empower members of families, communities, and nations to reduce and/or eliminate conflict, achieve self-fulfillment and happiness, and experience peace. His case studies are powerful and fascinating glimpses into how one can revolutionize society by changing one's paradigm of how individuals can be valued, treated, and heard.
Sep 20, 2013 Amjad rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
لو قرأت هذا الكتاب بشكل كامل وطبقته بصدق في حياتك ، لوجدت الحل لكل مشاكلك في الحياة.

ليس المهم من تطبق معه البديل الثالث ان يكون مطلعا على الكتاب، لكن المهم ان تستطيع انو توصل له فكرة البديل الثالث وان تعمل معه بجدية لإيجاد طريقة أفضل من التي كانت في رأسك او في رأسه

كتاب رائع انصح الجميع بقرائته
Mar 01, 2016 Jessica rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Re read, re-impressed. So helpful and practical. I love that Covey continually focuses on the family. He believes if it can work in the family, it can work globally. Very cool idea.

9/15: 7 Habits is brilliant. This book is even brillianter!
Masr Bla Fetna
May 04, 2015 Masr Bla Fetna rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

كتاب رائع في قبول النفس و الاخر
و لعل أجمل ما فيه هو كيفية إسقاط المبادئ العامة على تفاصيل الحياة الخاصة
Yoyo L
Apr 04, 2014 Yoyo L rated it it was amazing
Stephen Covey shares powerful insights in "The 3rd Alternative" and Think Win/Win is no exception.

"Win/Win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher way".

Most of us will say "yeah, yeah, we know this already. Win/Win's the way to go..." It's almost as if it's the socially acceptable attitude. But in reality people are likely to act in their own best interest and when we look we find a 'Win/Lose', 'Lose/Win', or just a plain 'Win' scenario play
Nada Obaid
Dec 26, 2014 Nada Obaid rated it it was amazing

It's not my way .. It's not your way .. It's our way, a way that's better than all our past expectations and future predictions :) !
Stephen Covey's books are always a source of pleasure
Cess Que
Nov 04, 2013 Cess Que rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If the world applied the third alternative. Wars, conflicts and bullies will be transferred to the fiction categories. There IS a way for resolution. :)
Pages 199, 278, and 433 have the same 4 Steps to Synergy worksheet that starts with 1. Ask the 3rd Alternative Question: "Are you willing to go for a solution that is better than any of us have come up with yet?" If yes, go on to step 2...

It's a fairly basic, yet powerful, approach to negotiating or mediating a creative win-win solution.

The rest of this book explains The Transition and The 3rd Alternative in the first and second chapters respectively. Then it goes on to tackle The 3rd Alternati
Keith Kendall
Feb 04, 2012 Keith Kendall rated it really liked it
Shelves: business
The book has lots of examples of successfully finding better alternatives - more than I was in the mood for. Here are a couple of things from the book. In the front of the book he says that he has been teaching this all his life, that is seek win-win; seek to find a better alternative than either of you came up with.

"Chapter 5 where he talked about the school system, and some people who dramatically turned around failing schools really touched me."

"The key is the heart. Until we understand peopl
Apr 23, 2013 Tamra rated it really liked it
Shelves: couldn-t-finish
What a great book! I think this is a must-read. You'll learn a lot about yourself, and how to improve your relationships, attitude, and world.

I instantly started implementing changes in my family life, for instance. I approached all the kids and asked them about what our family goals and objectives should be. They are "stakeholders" after all. I told them that Rob and I had the controlling interest (51%), and they shared the other 49% equally between the 3 of them. It was awesome to feel like I
Eman Al-Ghrasy
كتب التنمية بِغالبها فيها أسس ونقاط فلسفية !
لا أرى في أغلبها أيضاً الجديد كفكرة لي ... لكنها بالمقابل تؤكد على مهارةٍ ما !
صفحة أطال الكاتب فيها في توضيح فكرته ؛ لا أدري حالي لو قرأتُها بحال عدم وضوح الفكرة لديّ هل سأقتنع منه أم لا !
نقطته أنه لا (صح) مطلق ، ولا (خطأ) مطلق ... وهذا صحيح والانفتاح في هذه النقطة يعينك بالكثير في جوانب حياتك ...

يبقى التنويه لفصل : البديل الثالث والعالم ... أسجل اعتراضي عليه وعلى المثال الذي فيه لثابت عندي عقديّ يصعب تغييره ولا يطبق عليه (بديل ثالث) ...
Roger Corea
Mar 13, 2014 Roger Corea rated it really liked it
The most immediate thought I had when reading Covey's "Third Altenative" was "if only". If only people could see two sides to an argument and develop a third alternative better than either of the two sides, what a great place the world would be! Seeing the opportunity and advantage of differing opinions and to synergize instead of compromise, would move people and organizations to much closer to effectiveness.
Maggie Tumenbatur
Mar 08, 2016 Maggie Tumenbatur rated it really liked it
I have tremendous respect for Covey's work and totally agree that it takes practice, experience and trials to keep looking for 3rd alternative but is for sure worth it. .I feel Always like a student taking notes and with some many things yet to learn. Hos book is well structered, has tons of cases and examples and is therefore easy to pick a subject and revisit. He tries to makea us be a teacher ourselves and practice on this basis. I must admit I have not read the chapter on law and school this ...more
Jul 19, 2015 Ehsan rated it it was amazing
Dr.Stephen R. Covey is one of the brightest thinkers of our time, he writes in a style that connects deeply with you as a human being and his writings are easily digestible for the people who are different from him in culture, in this book he reached to the farthest problems, he navigates and put light on the core illnesses of our entire world, he is truly a solution seeker in a fundamental and principled way, i feel touched and moved by his ability to seek beyond the sides and the 2-alternative ...more
Jun Wen
Nov 27, 2012 Jun Wen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Building on his success from "7 habits of highly effective people" and "The 8th Habit", Stephen Covey delivers yet another important lesson in life - the ability to come up with a third alternative.

This book feels more or less like a revision of old concepts from his previous bestsellers - same principles and same examples used to demonstrate those principles. It does however feels different in the sense that it has a different focus - while previous books set the aim on effectiveness, the focu
Jan 31, 2015 Lisa rated it really liked it
Think of someone from history who lived hundreds of years ago. Now, imagine he or she using a cell phone, talking to a friend thousands of miles away. No, this wasn't even a possibility hundreds of years ago.

That's Steven Covey's point: There's a way to accomplish a goal that we haven't even thought of, yet.

This happens at work all the time. There's a project. I have an idea of how to make it happen. You have a different idea of how to proceed, and we can't agree.

Maybe there is a 3rd Alternativ
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Stephen Richards Covey was the author of the best-selling book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Other books he wrote include "First Things First", "Principle-Centered Leadership", and "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families". In 2004, Covey released "The 8th Habit". In 2008, Covey released "The Leader In Me—How Schools and Parents Around the World Are Inspiring Greatness, One ...more
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“We hear a lot about identity theft when someone takes your wallet and pretends to be you and uses your credit cards. But the more serious identity theft is to get swallowed up in other people's definition of you.” 19 likes
“When man created the mirror, he began to lose his soul. He became more concerned with his image than with his self.” 5 likes
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