The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life's Most Difficult Problems
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The 3rd Alternative: Solving Life's Most Difficult Problems

4.06 of 5 stars 4.06  ·  rating details  ·  419 ratings  ·  70 reviews
From the multimillion-copy bestselling author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People—hailed as the #1 Most Influential Business Book of the Twentieth Century—The 3rd Alternative introduces a breakthrough approach to conflict resolution and creative problem solving. One of Time magazine’s 25 most influential Americans, Dr. Stephen R. Covey...more
Hardcover, 456 pages
Published October 4th 2011 by Free Press (first published January 1st 2011)
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Ahmed Almawali

أنهيت للتو رائعة رائد التنمية البشرية ستيفن كوفي، الذي ذاع صيته من كتابه الشهير العادات السبع للناس الأكثر فعاليه، هذا الكتاب طويل يناهز 500 صفحة كما ذكرت في تعليق سابق، وكل الحديث عن فكرة واحدة، تعاد وتكرر ويسهب الحديث فيها ألا وهي دائما التفكير بأسلوب غير نمطي، لا أن تحل المشكلة وتفكر فيها بين بديلين لا ثالث لهما، يعني لسنا نحن في مقابل هم ، علينا ان نقول ماذا علينا أن نفعل.
الفصول التالية لمقدمة الكتاب والتي شرحت بإسهاب المهادلة التالية: انا ارى نفسي بتمعن بعيد عن برمجة سابقة، وأنا أرى الآخر...more
Covey's latest book is simply a masterpiece. I was wondering where he could possibly go after writing The 8th Habit, which led me to conclude that Covey had taken the next level up from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. How could he possibly outdo that book?

Well, he's done it. He's taken what he did with 7 Habits and The 8th Habit and knocked his game up not just to the next level but several levels higher. This book is pure transformation waiting to happen. Covey unfolds how the principl...more
Jay Connor
Covey has done a lot of good. His "Seven Habits" is THE self-improvement primer to a successful life. The habit -- begin with the end in mind -- is at the root of all of my "Working Differently" efforts.

"The 3rd Alternative" could have been so much more. I think Covey is right to try to modernize the Hegelian philosophy of thesis-antithesis-hypothesis. Though he fails to mention or credit Hegel, there is a powerful need in today's polarized debate to insert this leaven of humility. That, in fac...more
Jan 19, 2012 Lanier rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone who feels fed up with black-and-white conflicts
Covey continues his Seven Habits and expands on overcoming all conflicts and "false dilemmas" with four step processes of better understanding the other in order to understand yourself. Empathic Listening and agreeing to respect one another no matter how adamant you were in your position in order to rise to a higher, better 3rd Alternative.

These are only a portion of the highlights:

“The demand for fairness can be the enemy of trust. Mutual trust is founded [up]on reciprocity, which req...more
This is one of the most important books I've ever read, and it couldn't have come out at a better time. So grateful to Stephen Covey for sharing his wisdom, for rising above the nonsense and for trying to make a huge difference in our world.
Daniel G.
Aug 01, 2011 Daniel G. rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone who needs to solve conflicts
Recommended to Daniel by: Publicist at Simon & Schuster
For readers familiar with the 7 Habits, this book delves deeply into Habit 6: Synergize. I won't post a review now because it won't be published until 4 October, 2011.
By the author of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "The Third Alternative advocates synergy as a win-win strategy that is superior to compromise or arbitration or compromise in resolving differences of opinion. One of the best of current self-help authors, Stephen Covey is a master at extracting useful ideas from other writers and presenting them in useful, easily-recalled formulas and equations as an aid to personal and group problem-solving.

The "third alternative" is a proposed way of...more
كتابة ريفيو عن الكتاب صعبة جدا بجد
لانه كتاب عميق جدا
وإن كان يؤخذ عليه الإسهاب والتطويل إلا إن عمق الفكرة يتطلب الإسهاب

أعجبتني كثيرا القصص الملهمة والمقولات أيضا الملهمة جدا

((إنني لست مجرد "التوجه الذي أتبناه في أي جدال، فأنا كإنسان أكبر من مجموع تحيزاتي وتحزباتي وتصوراتي. أفكاري لا تحددها بصورة حصرية عائلتي ولا الثقافة التي أعيش فيها ولا الشركة التي أعمل بها))

((إنني لست مجرد كتلة صغيرة أنانية من الشكوى من أن العالم لا يناصر طريقتي في التفكير، فأنا أستطيع أن أنفصل عقليا عن نفسي، وأقيم مدى تأثير...more
I think the world will be a better place if everyone has read this book. Although I would credit The Harvard Negotiation Project ("Getting to Yes") most for their work on principle based negotiation, Covey takes the concept of negotiating and solving conflicts to a new and higher level. The book gives great examples and hands-on tips. For example, a good opening question is: "are you prepared to work together with me on a better solution than you and I have come up individually?"
سامي سيداحمد العسكري

أنهيت للتو رائعة رائد التنمية البشرية ستيفن كوفي، الذي ذاع صيته من كتابه الشهير العادات السبع للناس الأكثر فعاليه، هذا الكتاب طويل يناهز 500 صفحة كما ذكرت في تعليق سابق، وكل الحديث عن فكرة واحدة، تعاد وتكرر ويسهب الحديث فيها ألا وهي دائما التفكير بأسلوب غير نمطي، لا أن تحل المشكلة وتفكر فيها بين بديلين لا ثالث لهما، يعني لسنا نحن في مقابل هم، علينا ان نقول ماذا علينا أن نفعل.
This book describes how one can empower members of families, communities, and nations to reduce and/or eliminate conflict, achieve self-fulfillment and happiness, and experience peace. His case studies are powerful and fascinating glimpses into how one can revolutionize society by changing one's paradigm of how individuals can be valued, treated, and heard.
Mina Atef
a-must read book.
أعتقد أن الكثيرين، مثلي، يجدون الكثير من الإحباط في من يؤمنون أنه لا يوجد سوى هذا أو ذاك، وعليك أن تختار. وعندما تفكر قليلاً، تدرك أن شيئاً ماغير صحيح، هناك بالتأكيد حل مختلف، حل أفضل.
هذا الكتاب يقف بجانبك، يساندك في مواجهة تلك الثنائية العقيمة، بل وأفضل أيضاً، يساعدك على بلورة تلك الفكرة العظيمة -البديل الثالث- بشكل فائق!
لو قرأت هذا الكتاب بشكل كامل وطبقته بصدق في حياتك ، لوجدت الحل لكل مشاكلك في الحياة.

ليس المهم من تطبق معه البديل الثالث ان يكون مطلعا على الكتاب، لكن المهم ان تستطيع انو توصل له فكرة البديل الثالث وان تعمل معه بجدية لإيجاد طريقة أفضل من التي كانت في رأسك او في رأسه

كتاب رائع انصح الجميع بقرائته
Yoyo L
Stephen Covey shares powerful insights in "The 3rd Alternative" and Think Win/Win is no exception.

"Win/Win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher way".

Most of us will say "yeah, yeah, we know this already. Win/Win's the way to go..." It's almost as if it's the socially acceptable attitude. But in reality people are likely to act in their own best interest and when we look we find a 'Win/Lose', 'Lose/Win', or just a plain 'Win' scenario play...more
Jan 25, 2014 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: others
Think of someone from history who lived hundreds of years ago. Now, imagine he or she using a cell phone, talking to a friend thousands of miles away. No, this wasn't even a possibility hundreds of years ago.

That's Steven Covey's point: There's a way to accomplish a goal that we haven't even thought of, yet.

This happens at work all the time. There's a project. I have an idea of how to make it happen. You have a different idea of how to proceed, and we can't agree.

Maybe there is a 3rd Alternativ...more
Eric Rickey
Pages 199, 278, and 433 have the same 4 Steps to Synergy worksheet that starts with 1. Ask the 3rd Alternative Question: "Are you willing to go for a solution that is better than any of us have come up with yet?" If yes, go on to step 2...

It's a fairly basic, yet powerful, approach to negotiating or mediating a creative win-win solution.

The rest of this book explains The Transition and The 3rd Alternative in the first and second chapters respectively. Then it goes on to tackle The 3rd Alternati...more
Keith Kendall
The book has lots of examples of successfully finding better alternatives - more than I was in the mood for. Here are a couple of things from the book. In the front of the book he says that he has been teaching this all his life, that is seek win-win; seek to find a better alternative than either of you came up with.

"Chapter 5 where he talked about the school system, and some people who dramatically turned around failing schools really touched me."

"The key is the heart. Until we understand peopl...more
What a great book! I think this is a must-read. You'll learn a lot about yourself, and how to improve your relationships, attitude, and world.

I instantly started implementing changes in my family life, for instance. I approached all the kids and asked them about what our family goals and objectives should be. They are "stakeholders" after all. I told them that Rob and I had the controlling interest (51%), and they shared the other 49% equally between the 3 of them. It was awesome to feel like I...more
Roger Corea
The most immediate thought I had when reading Covey's "Third Altenative" was "if only". If only people could see two sides to an argument and develop a third alternative better than either of the two sides, what a great place the world would be! Seeing the opportunity and advantage of differing opinions and to synergize instead of compromise, would move people and organizations to much closer to effectiveness.
Building on his success from "7 habits of highly effective people" and "The 8th Habit", Stephen Covey delivers yet another important lesson in life - the ability to come up with a third alternative.

This book feels more or less like a revision of old concepts from his previous bestsellers - same principles and same examples used to demonstrate those principles. It does however feels different in the sense that it has a different focus - while previous books set the aim on effectiveness, the focu...more
Robert Chapman
I’ve enjoyed everything I have read by Dr. Covey, and this book was no exception. If you have read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People then you might think this book is just a rework of habit 6, synergize, but it’s really much more than that.

When involved in a negotiation or a disagreement, it is natural to escalate as the other party does and rigidly defend our side or opinion. It takes real effort to avoid this natural urge, rise above it, and seek a better alternative – synergy. This migh...more
Sharon Lensky
If you can get past the general "management speak" mentality of the book, it has some great tips for soaring with the eagles (as opposed to crawling with the slugs). This applies not merely to business but to life.
Devin Partlow
Really important stuff here, I struggle with practicing the 3rd Alternative but when I do its always beneficial. This book was 4x longer than it needed to be though, and for that I have to penalize it .5 stars.

3.5 stars
The whole idea behind this is seeking for synergy and the rest of this book is just examples of applying the principle. Good way of solving problems nonetheless.
Douaa Sinno
One of the most inspiring books one can ever read. It changes the way we see ourselves and the way we see others. It motivates the reader to listen, feel, understand and love others to turn problems into a win- win situation and to liberate himself from thoughts predetermined by family or culture to be able to make his own choices as a free human being.
It talks about family, work, school, law, society and politics.
Giving examples about people who made a huge difference in their circle of influe...more
This book was so insightful. Listening and really hearing others is such a necessary skill for success in every part of life. Stephen R. Covey really presents these ideas in understandable and easy to grasp ways that I loved. I also loved how the book was divided up so you could really focus on the areas that you need the most!
لقد بدات اليوم في قراءة الكتاب واتمنى ان يكون مفيد
great, I spend my 100k with no regrets.
Mohammad  El-Bishry‎‏
المنفتحون والمحافظون في العالم العربي منذ القرن التاسع عشر وحتى اليوم بينهم صراع مستمر نذكر على سبيل المثال علي عبدالرزاق ونظام الحكم وطه حسين والشعر الجاهلي وأستجابة المحافظين لهما والحداثيون والصحوة في السعودية خلال الثمانينات الى الليبراليين والاسلاميين الآن ونفس الاطراف في أمريكا بينهم صراع اليوم على قضايا مثل الاجهاض وزواج المثليين و نظرية التطور وعقوبة الاعدام وقيم العائلة والاسلحة الشخصية و العلمانية ...ألخ - وفي هذا الكتاب المترجم بعنوان "البديل الثالث" في فصل يتعلق بالمجتمع قرأته وقرأت...more
Maro Ross
This is a bittersweet book in that this is the author's last book before his death. The book shows how to build synergy a.k.a 3rd alternative when dealing with problems. If you familiar with the book 7 habits of highly effective people this book focuses on the communication habit. The bulk of the information is given in the intro and first chapter after that the author focuses on given different examples of 3rd alternative in life. I do recommend this book if goal is to improve your problem solv...more
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Stephen Richards Covey was the author of the best-selling book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". Other books he wrote include "First Things First", "Principle-Centered Leadership", and "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families". In 2004, Covey released "The 8th Habit". In 2008, Covey released "The Leader In Me—How Schools and Parents Around the World Are Inspiring Greatness, One...more
More about Stephen R. Covey...
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change First Things First Principle Centered Leadership The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

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“We hear a lot about identity theft when someone takes your wallet and pretends to be you and uses your credit cards. But the more serious identity theft is to get swallowed up in other people's definition of you.” 16 likes
“When man created the mirror, he began to lose his soul. He became more concerned with his image than with his self.” 5 likes
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