Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain

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Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain

3.74 of 5 stars 3.74 · rating details · 1,040 ratings · 187 reviews

Emperor Mollusk.

Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth.

Not bad for a guy without a spine.

But what's a villain to do after he's done . . . everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel alien invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be...more

Hardcover, 293 pages

Published March 5th 2012 by Orbit (first published February 10th 2012)

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May 18, 2012 Shanshad Whelan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: space-opera, science-fiction, fantasy, humor-satire, adventure

A delightful bit of pulp fun. Such a pleasure to read after slogging through a few urban fantasies that took themselves too seriously and "cerebral" SF that, IMO, was just tedious. Just a word of warning up front. The title should give readers a clue of how truly over the top this novel is, but in case it hasn't: Giant jelly monsters, transdimensional catpeople, Venusian warriors, giant insects, invasions from Saturn and mysterious death cults. Those are just a few of the things readers will run...more

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Sep 12, 2012 Michael Larson rated it 3 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book as I was reading it- the playfully bizarre alternate histories of Earth and the other planets, the pulp-infused creatures and inventions, the plot that rocketed from one white-knuckled (white-tentacled?) escape to the next- but the conclusion left me feeling a bit empty.

Martinez invests the titular mollusk with enough pathos to elevate this above a mere pastiche of science fiction tropes, and the central idea- 'What do you get for the Neptunian overlord who's conquered everyt...more

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Aug 10, 2012 Mike rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone

Recently I reviewed Mr. Martinez’s tale of how a seven foot tall battle robot was able to win friends and influence people all while suffering from a chronosynclastic infundibulum. Okay, I am bending the truth a bit, but “The Automatic Detective” was a good yarn, even if the hero wasn’t suffering from his equivalent of a virus cold. But don’t take these few words for it, go ahead and read the review – or – better yet, read the book.

When I stumble on a new author (did I mention that I saw a refer...more

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Aug 07, 2012 deepikasd rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: public-library

Emperor Mollusk is the ex-Warlord of Terra aka Earth. While trying to adapt to "normal" life, the mastermind finds himself caught up in an evil scheme to end his life. With his arch-nemesis Venusian warrior Zala and his pet ultrapede Snarg, Mollusk will uncover the evil scheme of the sinister Brain. Even though he has given up his title as ruler over all of Terra, he still is in love with the strange and fragile planet and risks his all for it.

The first thing you need to know that this is mostly...more Emperor Mollusk is the ex-Warlord of Terra aka Earth. While trying to adapt to "normal" life, the mastermind finds himself caught up in an evil scheme to end his life. With his arch-nemesis Venusian warrior Zala and his pet ultrapede Snarg, Mollusk will uncover the evil scheme of the sinister Brain. Even though he has given up his title as ruler over all of Terra, he still is in love with the strange and fragile planet and risks his all for it.

The first thing you need to know that this is mostly fiction and not science... at least not science as we know it. True, there are some theories that are real, however, the story is set in an alternate universe. This universe features a solar system where every planet has their own inhabitants. Add to this fact that almost every mythical conspiracy being exists like the mole people.

If you are searching for a well-written book, I would recommend this one. Disregarding the several spelling mistakes and grammatical errors (hopefully these will be corrected in the second edition), the book is ingeniously written in the first person. Though the reader is privy to the thoughts of Emperor Mollusk, the Neptunon mollusk does hide his share of secrets. There are two parts to the book. The normal numbered chapters tell the story in the "present", while the italicized named chapters recall the reign of the Warlord.

I first picked up the book thinking that it was going to be extremely funny (after all it does advertise this on the front cover), but was surprised as I was submerged in a hardcore adventure story. There is much action, though if it was in movie format, critics would say that the plot seems almost too unbelievable with the strange monsters and obstacles. However, once the reader realizes that the story is a parody, the fun begins. Philosophically this book is amazing; the dialogue between the Emperor and Zala is both comical and very thought-provoking. The story is the kind that starts off with a bang and keeps on going without looking back or slowing down. In fact, you might even figure out the ending before you reach the last page.

If I was to change anything, I would just say the few grammatical/spelling mistakes. Other than that, the book will leave you wanting for more of the curious Emperor Mollusk. (less)

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Jul 19, 2012 Meg rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: superheroes

This review has minor and thematic spoilers, though nothing is spoiled overtly:

A Lee Martinez is trying to walk a fine line in this book, writing an incredibly intelligent, egotistical villain on one hand and a likable character on the other hand. He doesn't always succeed. Intelligent and egotistical villain? Always. Likable character? Shiftier ground. Still, he does better than most authors with the double bind of trying to write a story from a villain's point of view that is both likable and...more This review has minor and thematic spoilers, though nothing is spoiled overtly:

A Lee Martinez is trying to walk a fine line in this book, writing an incredibly intelligent, egotistical villain on one hand and a likable character on the other hand. He doesn't always succeed. Intelligent and egotistical villain? Always. Likable character? Shiftier ground. Still, he does better than most authors with the double bind of trying to write a story from a villain's point of view that is both likable and NOT a redemption arc.

The problem is ultimately that the book doesn't go anywhere. We end right where we started, at least as far as earth and the characters are concerned. There are subtle differences, but none of them are enough to really matter, which leads the ending to fall a bit flat. I feel a bit like we got the part of the story before the part of the story where the characters actually have to make choices and evolve.

I think the reason it never goes anywhere is that the book never lets Zala shine. She is mostly set up as someone for Emperor Mollusk to talk to, sharp enough to ask questions and keep running sarcasm, but not nearly smart enough to be in the same league as Emperor Mollusk. She fills a role in the story and it's a good role which she fills well, playing off of Emperor Mollusk like a champ. But she never gets to come into her own. She has some good moments, yes, but Mollusk quickly walks all over them. And because Zala is kept to the sidelines and not allowed to develop into a character, the story falls flat, since so much of the subtext in the story is about their relationship.

Instead of real character, their relationship and the changes in it are left to subtlety and nearly lost. Yes, things are a bit different at the end. Mollusk has become very fond of Zala. Zala has come to better understand Emperor Mollusk. But fundamentally, they are both in the exact same place. And it can't change until there is genuine respect on both sides. Not just respect for Zala's skills as a warrior or for Mollusk's braininess. But genuine respect for each other as people first.

Also, by the end of chapter four, we've already fought a giant biomechanical gelatinous squid beast in Atlantis and once you've jumped that shark, nuking the fridge just doesn't have the same charm.

Still, the book has some fun moments and if you want a ridiculous romp through a pulpy comic-esque world with some charmingly gray characters, give it a read.

And I kind of want a Snarg.(less)

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Jul 09, 2012 Hannah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: science-fiction

Emperor Mollusk and the Sinister Brain was a very enjoyable read. The main character, Emperor Mollusk, was adorable and sarcastic in a pleasant and light-hearted way, and the story was very fun.

The novel basically follows the journey of Emperor Mollusk, former Warlord of Earth, who is described as a super intelligent octopus-like being originally from Neptune who he teams up with Zala, a warrior lizard-like being from Venus, as they wrestle with a super-intelligent floating brain for control ove...more Emperor Mollusk and the Sinister Brain was a very enjoyable read. The main character, Emperor Mollusk, was adorable and sarcastic in a pleasant and light-hearted way, and the story was very fun.

The novel basically follows the journey of Emperor Mollusk, former Warlord of Earth, who is described as a super intelligent octopus-like being originally from Neptune who he teams up with Zala, a warrior lizard-like being from Venus, as they wrestle with a super-intelligent floating brain for control over Earth. The two protagonists travel across a futuristic and fantastical Earth, encountering many different types of creatures along the way before reaching the final battle between two the self-described super-villains: Emperor Mollusk and the sinister Brain.

The story was enjoyable for many different reasons; namely, though, because of the setting and the characters. The novel is set on Earth, but humans are only very minor characters in the story; instead, Emperor Mollusk and Zala encounter aliens from Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, etc, as well as unusual native Earth beings (such as Atlanteans) – each species of which has its own characteristics and quirks. Exploring the variations on intelligent life (many who differ markedly from human physiology and culture) made reading Emperor Mollusk and the Sinister Brain delightfully entertaining.

The characters, also, were one of the highlights of the novel. Initially I was a little wary of Emperor Mollusk, as I usually find characters who claim to be geniuses tend to not fit that role and instead portray themselves as conceited and annoying. However, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I believed Emperor Mollusk’s claims of intelligence and he was cocky without being condescending. His major character trait – his boredom with his accomplishments and need for some way to further challenge himself – were realistic to his type of character and helped to motivate a lot of the story.

However, the fantastical setting resulted in A. Lee Martinez sacrificing some of the plot in favor of describing and exploring the numerous creatures. The were multiple scenes along the journey of Emperor Mollusk and Zala that I found enjoyable to read, but at the same time found myself wondering what they did to enhance the plot line. Additionally, I was curious about the relation of the novel’s humans to real humans. The alien creatures in the novel mention that humans are not aware of a lot of the solar system’s happenings and live in isolation from the other creatures, implying that the humans in the novel are a lot like real humans. However, the humans on Earth take all of the creatures they meet in stride and many of the unique beings live on Earth – implying that the novel’s humans are more aware of the other creatures in the universe than are real humans. I feel that Martinez could have explored some of this a little bit more without losing any of the plot, rather than just dropping vague hints.

Overall I’d recommend this book to someone who was a fun, entertaining, not-too-serious novel.(less)

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Jun 18, 2012 Thomas Taylor rated it 3 of 5 stars

Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain is a very humorous book that I enjoyed chuckling along to. Essentially the book follows a galactic supervillain named Emperor Mollusk who has subjugated the human race and is basically dealing with a mid-life crisis after getting everything he wanted.

I would compare this book to "Confessions of a D-List Supervillain" by Jim Bernheimer. Confessions had a bit more of a superhero feel to it, and I think I enjoyed that book a bit more than this one, but tha...more

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May 22, 2012 Doc Opp added it

I'm leaving the actual rating blank here, because I really have no idea what to make of this book. It may be brilliant, it may be terrible, and it may be just ok. It is definitely, and without a doubt, very, very odd.

Set in a universe where all of the planets (and the sun) in our solar system are inhabited, this plots the story of a Neptunian exile who has conquered earth, and then decided being a supreme world overlord wasn't for him, so gave it back to us earthlings. He stays on earth to prote...more

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May 06, 2012 Alan rated it 4 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Endoskeletal types, with brains sinister or otherwise

Recommended to Alan by: A title of such imposing majesty... only a fool could stand against it. A fool, I tell you! Ah-hah-hah-hahhh...

A. Lee Martinez had me at the first paragraph—well, I was hooked by the title, really, but I wasn't 100% convinced until I read this opening:

There's no sound in space, but my saucer cannons simulated a shriek with every blast. A swoosh followed every barrel roll. And when my autogunner scored a hit, a sophisticated program supplied the appropriate level of response, ranging from a simple ping to a full-fledged explosion. I could have programmed it to provide an explosion every time, but that wo

...more A. Lee Martinez had me at the first paragraph—well, I was hooked by the title, really, but I wasn't 100% convinced until I read this opening:

There's no sound in space, but my saucer cannons simulated a shriek with every blast. A swoosh followed every barrel roll. And when my autogunner scored a hit, a sophisticated program supplied the appropriate level of response, ranging from a simple ping to a full-fledged explosion. I could have programmed it to provide an explosion every time, but that would've cheapened the experience.

That's Emperor Mollusk musing. You can tell he's a creature who loves his job. Being a supervillain and Warlord (former Warlord, please) of Terra are occupations that, traditionally, have led to a certain seriousness of demeanor, but Mollusk... well, he's having fun. You can tell. And it's contagious.

With Zala the warrior, a Venusian lizard-woman, as his foil, bodyguard and occasional antagonist, Emperor Mollusk ranges the Solar System—a much more colorful System than our own, full of ancient civilizations, where every planet is inhabited and every form of esoteric knowledge is realized somewhere. There were occasional intrusions of real science (as when Mollusk, as an octopuslike being, acknowledges that his tentacles have what amounts to minds of their own, just like our terrestrial octopus), but really this should be read as an exemplar of super-science fiction, straight out of the 1930s, pulpy and magnificently oblivious to the strictures of real-world physics, biology, and chemistry. In Martinez' kitchen-sink approach, if an idea sounds good—whether it's the radioactive brain of Marie Curie or a hundred-foot jelligantic rampaging through the highlands of Atlantis—it goes in.

The pace of the action never really flags, either. I ran into some odd proofreading gaffes, including one place (on p.277) where Martinez used "activated" where I'm sure he meant "evacuated," but on the whole this book was so compulsively readable that I could ignore such issues even when they occurred.

Maybe it's just Emperor Mollusk's mind-control making me say this (as a Terra Sapiens, I would of course have been susceptible as any other human to the methods by which Mollusk conquered Earth), but Martinez may have created that rarest of science-fictional beings: a brilliant mind who's actually brilliant... and funny and sympathetic to boot. Even if he never actually "ended WWII by punching out Gorilla Hitler" (p.222), he'd be a fascinating and—yes—even admirable character in a fascinating and even admirable book.(less)

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Mar 14, 2012 Eric Means rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: sci-fi

Reminiscent in tone of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy novels, EMVTSB never takes itself terribly seriously, but it's definitely a fun read. Not something you'll need to slog through (it only took me 3 days of not-terribly-concentrated reading) at all, just a light, fun read.

The primary er... "protagonist" is a world-conquering mad scientist ex-Warlord Of Earth who happens to be an octopoid from Neptune. His cohorts include a bionic giant "ultrapede", a Venusian warrior, and some kind of we...more

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Mar 08, 2012 Thomas rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you have read A. Lee Martinez before then you are already aware of his writing style and know how he usually likes to have a protagonist who is a quirky sort of every man(or woman or thing) who goes on to become a hero of epic proportions and that is what I like. Here he deviates to create a straight up super villain who is coming to terms with his super villainy after having successfully ruled the Earth for awhile and is now in semi-retirement and only pops up on occasion to save the Earth....more

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May 16, 2013 Patrick rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book was awesome. And no one compensated me to say that. It's funny and allows you to root for the bad guy. It's similar to the movie "Megamind" except Emperoer Mollusk is a much better evil genius. For one thing he actually DID conquer the Earth (bloodlessly no less) and unlike Megamind, Dr. Evil, Lex Luthor, etc. he might be brilliant and arrogant but he never lets that blind him. He wouldn't be the type to let the hero linger so he could escape and save the day. But has he met his match...more

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Feb 25, 2013 Lori rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: audio-books, z-sci-fi

Good stuff!

I stumbled upon this book as it was one that audible.com had on sale. The premise sounded interesting and so I downloaded it with no expectations. What a treat!

Emperor Mollusk is done conquering and ruling and has settled, quite nicely, into retirement. That is until he's informed of a plot to be assassinated. At first he finds himself in disbelief, both at the audacity and at the inconceivable idea that someone would even try to outwit him. As the death attempts progress, however, h...more

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Mar 31, 2012 Mitch rated it 2 of 5 stars

Hopefully, this third review’s the charm. I wrote and deleted my last two because my expectations in them were probably aimed more for either straight humor or a more serious sci-fi adventure. This time, with a bit of luck I have the critique as a pulpy sci-fi adventure down pat. Unfortunately, my rating still stands – this book feels merely OK.

Alas, I didn’t find it that funny or over the top. Most of it is dry humor that’s hard to do well, and which I didn’t really get here. If I’d recorded m...more Hopefully, this third review’s the charm. I wrote and deleted my last two because my expectations in them were probably aimed more for either straight humor or a more serious sci-fi adventure. This time, with a bit of luck I have the critique as a pulpy sci-fi adventure down pat. Unfortunately, my rating still stands – this book feels merely OK.

Alas, I didn’t find it that funny or over the top. Most of it is dry humor that’s hard to do well, and which I didn’t really get here. If I’d recorded myself while reading this and played it back, I’d hear the occasional snort, once when I swore at someone for some reason I’ve now completely forgotten but think had something to do with ramen … and a lot of cricket chirps. I think I only laughed twice, at this gem of a line: (view spoiler), and when the giant radioactive brain of Madame Curie goes on a destructive rampage through downtown Paris. Other than that, the exchanges between Mollusk and his unwilling Venusian sidekick Zala were amusing while the rest of the book was more painfully unfunny than humorous.

The reason? The funniest absurd over the top moments were few and far between, and besides the two places above nothing besides the flashback scenes of Mollusk’s rise to power come close (and even they are weaker). Mollusk’s narration is really just a barebones description of the action. Adding some complex technobabble and weird details doesn’t make it over the top and hence funny, just techno-ey (is that even a real word?) and plain weird rather than absurdly weird.

The rest of it is a complex discussion of morality and predestination, e.g. what evil masterminds should do in retirement, mainly though conversation between Mollusk and Zala best summed up by this line: You were tricking them into thinking they were tricking you into thinking you were tricking them into tricking you? Again, I don’t have any trouble with it per se, but it’s still really dry. A better joke or two here and there’s really needed to move the conversation along.

I think my problem is that I’ve already been exposed to a kind of funny over the top evil genius who muses about morality and predestination, in a book with a better balance between over the top humor and waxing poetic on philosophy. And compared to Artemis Fowl, that book wins no contest. My condolences.(less)

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May 02, 2013 Danielle Huffman-hanni rated it 3 of 5 stars

Closer to 3.75 really. A really unique and different book. The voice of the book is special and it has a sense of humor that I think would probably appeal to both science and history nerds. It's been a while since I've read actual sci-fi, but I like that this was a good balance of science and fiction something I think can get lost in the genre. It's hard to describe the plot of the book.

The title is telling, of course, but the book follows Emperor Mollusk of Terra which is actually Earth as he...more Closer to 3.75 really. A really unique and different book. The voice of the book is special and it has a sense of humor that I think would probably appeal to both science and history nerds. It's been a while since I've read actual sci-fi, but I like that this was a good balance of science and fiction something I think can get lost in the genre. It's hard to describe the plot of the book.

The title is telling, of course, but the book follows Emperor Mollusk of Terra which is actually Earth as he battles a foe that seems to be at least one step ahead of him. The books follows the Emperor, his pet ultraped Snarg, and very reluctant would-be assasin/bodyguard from Venus named Zala as they battle The Brain. We jump all over the world and the action is broken up by flashbacks as to how Emperor Mollusk became lord over all of Earth. And yes, Emperor Mollusk is an actual mollusk from the planet Neptune and he uses various exoskelteons as means of transportation.

The main character is incredibly smart, not at all humble although it is difficult to argue with his logic with regards to his motivations. He's a genius who gets bored easily. World or universe domination seems like the best way to try to solve that. The other main character, Zala, is a hot-headed warrior who can't seem to stop going on and on about how she almost died, how she'd like to get her revenge for what he did to her planet, blah blah. I found her to be tiresome pretty quick and I noticed a lot of dialogue repeated itself over and over. The banter between the two got old as well.

The ending is complicated, original but convulted.It kept going on and on. It is full of surprises including a cameo by several of history's biggest names and the most unlikely person who'd think would be involved in a robot battle. I think the author couldn't decide what ending to go with so I think that's why it kept going on and on, too many loose ends to tie up I guess, instead of just leaving something to the reader's imagination. (less)

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Feb 13, 2012 Mike rated it 5 of 5 stars

Emperor Mollusk Versus The Sinister Brain
By A. Lee Martinez

Emperor Mollusk is an egotistical, megalomaniacal, manipulative criminal that does not back down from a challenge, and will not walk away from any threat. Not from a science menace, not from a distant planet terror, and not from some unknown mystic scourge. It's these flaws that cause him to make every mistake he has made, yet it's these cracks in his armor that makes him so lovable. It seems he saves worlds as often as he endangers them...more

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Jun 30, 2012 Chris rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

This is one of the most flat out fun books I've read in a long time, and one that hearkens back to the days of pulpy SF, though it does so in a way that is equal parts loving homage and knowing parody. I'd be shocked if this didn't get picked up by Dreamworks or Blue Sky or some other CGI animation house. This book is fairly screaming to be adapted to the big screen as a family-friendly CGI movie, as it feels almost tailor made for that exact purpose. It's this perfect mixture of Monsters vs. Al...more

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Jun 21, 2012 Artur Coelho rated it 4 of 5 stars

É impossível ler este livro sem que a mente se encha de imagens multicoloridas de criaturas de filmes de série B, monstros estilizados, arquitecturas utópicas e mecanismos brilhantes de pura ficção científica. Esta é uma obra que homenageia divertidamente o lado mais anárquico do género, essencialmente uma desculpa para a utilização de alguns dos mais icónicos dos seus conceitos. Civilizações perdidas, invasões alienígenas, raios da morte, arquitecturas utópicas ao estilo limpo da space age, mon...more É impossível ler este livro sem que a mente se encha de imagens multicoloridas de criaturas de filmes de série B, monstros estilizados, arquitecturas utópicas e mecanismos brilhantes de pura ficção científica. Esta é uma obra que homenageia divertidamente o lado mais anárquico do género, essencialmente uma desculpa para a utilização de alguns dos mais icónicos dos seus conceitos. Civilizações perdidas, invasões alienígenas, raios da morte, arquitecturas utópicas ao estilo limpo da space age, monstros apocalípticos, buracos no espaço-tempo, naves espaciais de cromado reluzente e cérebros ambulantes manipuladores são alguns dos divertidos ingredientes desta homenagem aos estilismos sublimes que excitam a imaginação.

A narrativa coloca-nos a seguir as desventuras de um octópode super-inteligente que depois de conquistar o planeta terra decide que está farto de ser conquistador galáctico e se dedica à pesquisa de tecnologias exóticas com aplicações potencialmente letais. Amado pelos terrestres, em parte porque o seu método de conquista envolveu não a aniquilação com armas poderosas mas a introdução de uma substância que tornou os humanos pacíficos, é odiado pelas restantes civilizações do sistema solar. Rumores de uma ameaça levam as forças policiais de um dos seus planetas inimigos a protegê-lo para que mais tarde o possam castigar por crimes contra o planeta. E que ameaça é essa? Uma sucessão de pistas e armadilhas que levam o dominador octópode e uma saurópode agente secreta venusiana através de uma atlântida de mercenários militares, civilizações fungícas perdidas em cavernas antárticas, míticas cidades esquecidas nos himalaias ou selvas primevas onde monstros do passado e do futuro entram em colisão genética. É aqui que ovnis robóticos são abatidos por dinossauros voadores que disparam lasers dos olhos, e se esta frase não vos leva a pegar neste livro, bem, decididamente este não é um livro para vós. Uma conspiração sinistra por parte de um colégio de cérebros preservados de grandes figuras histórias é destroçada por mensagens enviadas do futuro pelo octópode inteligente.

Emperor Mollusk Versus The Sinister Brain é das leituras de ficção científica mais divertidas que fiz nos últimos tempos. Escrito numa prosa leve, recupera iconografias clássicas da golden age, levando o leitor a mergulhar nos mundos fantásticos prometidos pelas capas de cores berrantes das revistas pulp. (less)

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Jun 12, 2012 Kio rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-english

The problem with fantasy/sci-fi is that, if there's no limitations on the use of magic/technology (really one and the same at this point), the characters are effectively gods. This book suffers from that problem. Nothing seems to actually pose a challenge for "Emperor Mollusk," a guy that can invent a hurricane and lightning summoning machine overnight while simultaneously making a rusted out spacecraft space worthy once more. Among pretty much anything else.

It's not all bad. It's an interesting...more

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Feb 14, 2013 J rated it 2 of 5 stars

I really struggle rating things on here. Taken alone, a book like this succeeds completely at what it is trying to be. It is trying to be: A quirky contemporary pulp sci-fi novel that thrives primarily on the humor of the absurdity of it's own subject matter (The title summarizes it well enough). The characters grow just enough to justify a plot arc and the 4 hours spent reading are enjoyable enough. On the other hand, what it is trying to be isn't especially profound. It doesn't transcend its g...more

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May 21, 2013 Ben rated it 4 of 5 stars

Great zany, pulpy, cerebral sci-fi fun for fans of Douglas Adams. I agree with one reviewer that this book would make a great videogame. Not a movie - it's too bizarre to make into a good movie. In response to other reviewers who say the book is too silly to be appreciated by adults - lighten up and have fun. It's actually got a complicated plot and some decent characters. Just because those characters happen to include superintelligent cephalopods and extracranial brains fitted onto battle exos...more

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Mar 07, 2013 Squire rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The Intergalictic Menance Emperor Mollusk is in retirement...and bored. But the arrival of the Venusian Commander Zala sets a plot in motion that will determine the fate of Terra (Earth) and the entire universe. Well, if a retired emperor must, he must. At least it will be a respite from boredom.

This is a fast and etertaining read. It provides the reader with a whirlwind of events that is too much fun to stop and think about. There are moments when I had to stop reading to just laugh. But the pr...more

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Apr 30, 2013 Matt Miles rated it 4 of 5 stars

This novel is as silly and absurd as the title suggests, and the unharnessed imagination behind this story's world and the non-stop action make this a thoroughly entertaining read. For those looking for deeper character study, it's there as well, but I think it could have gone deeper. At the end I wasn't satisfied that anything really happened internally, which can be a problem. The first chapter balances action with a microcosm of the deeper theme the author is getting at, basically how satisfy...more

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Jul 06, 2012 Danielle rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book is REALLY funny, don't get me wrong. (There's an early scene involving Mollusk's face on paper money that slayed me. And I loved his pet Ultrapede!!) And it's trying to have a heart. (All of Martinez' books seem to work this way: insane premise + solid heart = WIN.) But this book, while entertaining, is hard to emotionally invest in, and as a result, it becomes forgettable.

I've read a number of other books that use supervillains as the main character (ones where the supervillain never...more

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Feb 17, 2013 ben rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The characters are well drawn, and it is a lot of fun to watch Martinez play with genre and plot. The laughs keep coming through the twisty ending. Emperor Mollusk is in that sort of Dr. Who place where his efforts to save the world only end up endangering it next week. Interesting that he should so resemble a Dalek in form.

World building elements such as characterizations of the different races and species of the solar system show room for growth. I hope to see...more

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Jan 29, 2013 Margaret Sankey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Some time ago, Emperor Mollusk, a 15 pound squid from Neptune, conquered earth with some anti-aggression fog and gave everyone unlimited free energy (this involved replacing the mayor of Sheboygan with a robot, but that's a long story). Wearying of the parades and the adoration, he retired, emerging only when earth was menaced by giant radioactive fire ants, or trans-dimensional cat people stole China. But when a malevolent brain from the future messes with the unstable island of mutant dinosaur...more

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Mar 30, 2012 Stefan rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: humor, science-fiction, far-beyond-reality-review

Emperor Mollusk’s interplanetary warlording days are mostly over. Sure, he’s still universally worshipped on Earth, the planet he subjugated in the past, although that may have something to do with the mind-control technology he developed too. Still, his days of planet-hopping and mercilessly crushing any opposition are mostly over. Nowadays, he considers himself mostly retired and focuses on his true love: exploring the boundaries of insanely dangerous science. This occasionally results in tech...more

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Mar 22, 2013 Manuel rated it 4 of 5 stars

This novel is set on Earth. Emperor Mollusk rules, a villain, a megalomaniac super genius who is amused when people are trying to kill him because one thing is absolutely sure, no one matches his mind or his power. He is of course a monster, having tentacles and no hands. Never heard about this guy ruling Earth? Neither I. But … Who told you this is about our Earth? It is a futuristic fantastic Earth where Mars, Venus Saturn … are all populated with many different types of creatures, and you wil...more

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Sep 20, 2012 mingfrommongo rated it 4 of 5 stars

The title is not a metaphor. This book has it all - interplanetary crime and conquest, a dinosaur island with a rip in space-time (in the Bermuda Triangle, of course), brains in jars, Shambhala, an armored ultripede, dinner in Paris, and a Venusian warrior who, despite being reptilian, will be portrayed in the film as having mammary glands. Big ones. All this and more, so much more, arranged to give us cliff-hangers at the end of each chapter. I was kept on the edge of my seat, breathlessly eage...more

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Aug 20, 2012 Belinda rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fantasy-fiction

Another charmer by A.Lee Martinez. This book follows the adventures of Lord Emperor Mollusk, his unasked for bodyguard, Zala (a Venusian) and his pet ultrapede Snarg (I have a dread fear of anything with more than 8 legs and he invested this character with so much personality I ended up finding it adorable...:) such is the power of Martinez...). Someone is trying to assassinate the former Warlord of Terra (i.e. Earth) and despite his super genius, they keep coming pretty damned close. Hilarious,...more

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About A. Lee Martinez

A. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.

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“Do these robots looked armed? And I was talking to the dinosaur. Were you worried he would discuss me to death?” — 1 person liked it

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