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I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir
by
Josh Kilmer-Purcell (Goodreads Author)
"I Am Not Myself These Days "follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly -- a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives. Kilmer-Purcell is a terrifically
...morePaperback, 305 pages
Published
February 1st 2006
by Harper Perennial
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I’m not much of a TV person and have never seen The Fabulous Beekman Boys or heard of Josh Kilmer-Purcell, retired drag queen. Still, I’m glad I found this little gem about two misfits in love. By day, Josh works for an advertising agency. At night, he lovingly and painstakingly transforms himself into Aqua, a 7-foot blonde beauty who carries goldfish around in her plastic boobs. His boyfriend, Jack, is a very well-paid escort known as “Aidan” to his clients, and lives in a posh apartment bu...more
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Very
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Shelves:
nyc,
own,
true-story,
xy,
2010,
style-points,
books-i-love,
lgbt,
wiseacres,
meet-cute,
dark-comedy,
good-stuff
The story is summed up pretty well by the author near the end: “The truth is, there’s no movie of the week about a drunk drag queen and a crackhead hooker in love. There never has been. It’s not the kind of thing people would care about. People would flip right by the channel, either unbelieving or uncaring. Who’s the good guy? Who’s the bad guy? Aren’t they both bad? If they didn’t get what they deserved by the first commercial, it’d be on to the breast cancer movie.” But that's not really true...more
This book is like dirty, dirty candy. It's ridiculous and silly and somewhat awful, but just terribly, absurdly compelling. It's a memoir by an young hot accountant-by-day, drag-queen-by-night. I read it a while ago, but I remember a few things: he lives in a ludicrously tiny apartment, he moved to NY to be a writer, his rich-ass boyfriend is an on-and-off crack addict, and his coup de grâce drag outfit (which he makes himself and wears in places like Lucky Chengs) includes fishbowl boobs full o...more
This book was hella clever. It sucks you in with the prologue but the story is so engaging when it ends where it begins you are surprised. Kilmer-Purcell is hilarious. My favorite line was, "I'm slowly donating my liver to the pursuit of my balls."
A tale of his first year in New York as a gay drag queen sounds cliche but Kilmer-Purcell makes it seem original with snappy quips and honest emotions.I read it quickly, in a day. It was that good! There are many clever def...more
A tale of his first year in New York as a gay drag queen sounds cliche but Kilmer-Purcell makes it seem original with snappy quips and honest emotions.I read it quickly, in a day. It was that good! There are many clever def...more
This story is hilarious and amazing. The prose is beautiful and easy to read even if the story sometimes is cringe worthy. The story of Aqua is so engrossing you will not want to put it down and will be sad to know it is ending.
never before has a book sucked me in so quickly from the first moment of reading it. i finished this book in 2 days, which is a record for me and big boy books (as opposed to YAF). in a little over 300 pages, you are taken through the highs and lows of the author's relationship with a male escort who ends up getting hooked on crack. i highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially the people who might enjoy reading about the relationship of a witty former drag queen, borderline alcoho...more
Usually, I’m not one to read memoirs or autobiographies.
I like fiction because I can delve into the story, take a mind break and live someone else’s life. I love fiction because it’s fun, often frivolous and I’m a sucker for a good story. Fiction has a way of easing stress for me, taking away the days’ worries and it’s just entertaining.
I wish I could say the same for biographies or memoirs. I find them preachy and boring and the author is usually full of themselves. Yet,...more
I like fiction because I can delve into the story, take a mind break and live someone else’s life. I love fiction because it’s fun, often frivolous and I’m a sucker for a good story. Fiction has a way of easing stress for me, taking away the days’ worries and it’s just entertaining.
I wish I could say the same for biographies or memoirs. I find them preachy and boring and the author is usually full of themselves. Yet,...more
A memoir that is in equal measure appealing and appalling. Josh takes through a rabbit hole where drag queens live with $300/hour male escorts in penthouse apartments on the Upper East Side. Ad agency art director by day, drag queen by night, alcoholic throughout - and strangely, madly in love with Jack, a male hooker with a dedicated clientele and a remarkably lax building staff. Parties go on for days, with orgies and crack and hog-tied British CEOs waiting in the front hall when our hero...more
Brief Description: Kilmer-Purcell’s first memoir (before the The Bucolic Plague) chronicles his days as a drag queen named Aqua and his doomed love affair with a crack addicted male escort who specializes in S&M. The relationship between Josh and his boyfriend Jack is the heart of the book, and it shines brightly before exploding into a supernova of pain, addiction and loss.
My Thoughts: Kilmer-Purcell seems to have lived enough lives to fill many memoirs. Although it was hard to reconc...more
My Thoughts: Kilmer-Purcell seems to have lived enough lives to fill many memoirs. Although it was hard to reconc...more
I would have given this a 4.5 if I could, but I rounded up because I was so pleasantly surprised with this book that I couldn't bring myself to give it a 4.
It's such an interesting, touching, funny and overall great story.
I especially enjoyed the light-hearted tone. Even in the saddest and darkest moment, Kilmer-Purcell doesn't try to make it overly dramatic, and most of the times he is able to laugh at his own mistakes and misfortunes, all the while not glamorizing the bad thi...more
It's such an interesting, touching, funny and overall great story.
I especially enjoyed the light-hearted tone. Even in the saddest and darkest moment, Kilmer-Purcell doesn't try to make it overly dramatic, and most of the times he is able to laugh at his own mistakes and misfortunes, all the while not glamorizing the bad thi...more
Vodka.
To be candid, vodka is one of the reasons that I like Josh Kilmer-Purcell's "I am not myself these days." The central character, curiously enough named Josh, likes vodka. Well, more accurately, it's Aqua who LOVES vodka. Aqua...sorry, I didn't introduce her properly...Aquadisiac, but everyone calls her Aqua, is really Josh. Or Josh is really Aqua. How does it work with drag queens? Who is who?
Anyway, vodka figures prominently in "I am not myself these da...more
To be candid, vodka is one of the reasons that I like Josh Kilmer-Purcell's "I am not myself these days." The central character, curiously enough named Josh, likes vodka. Well, more accurately, it's Aqua who LOVES vodka. Aqua...sorry, I didn't introduce her properly...Aquadisiac, but everyone calls her Aqua, is really Josh. Or Josh is really Aqua. How does it work with drag queens? Who is who?
Anyway, vodka figures prominently in "I am not myself these da...more
In a Word: Fabulous
I read this book on the recommendation of a dear friend who occasionally does drag and with whom I frequently get into loads of trouble. Perhaps this review is a little unfair because I am shamelessly obsessed with gay men and drag queens; I am a self declared hag and I never pass an opportunity to get uproariously intoxicated and frequent any gay club/event. Therefore, this memoir appealed to me in every sense. In “I’m Not Myself These Days” Kilmer-Purcel documents a ...more
I read this book on the recommendation of a dear friend who occasionally does drag and with whom I frequently get into loads of trouble. Perhaps this review is a little unfair because I am shamelessly obsessed with gay men and drag queens; I am a self declared hag and I never pass an opportunity to get uproariously intoxicated and frequent any gay club/event. Therefore, this memoir appealed to me in every sense. In “I’m Not Myself These Days” Kilmer-Purcel documents a ...more
Ever wondered how drag queens get ready for a night on the town? Or how sadomasochistic male escorts manage their professional lives? Then do I have a book for you- I'm Not Myself These Days, by Josh-Kilmer Purcell. This memoir (or at least, I assume it's a memoir, though it was reviewed by the infamous James Frey) tell the story of Josh's early days in New York as a hungover ad agency art designer by day and a drunken, 7'2" tall drag queen named Aqua by night.
Josh, a y...more
Josh, a y...more
This memoir is delightful. Of course it has serious themes, but the context is so unique and refreshing that the drama of it is a perfect contrast. In this book, Kilmer-Purcell describes his transition in life from a flamboyant drag-queen to a more normal, functional adult. It is not for a reader that is homophobic, but most people should find the situations he finds himself in to be unusual (perhaps) but digestable.
What I particularly appreciated about this memoir is that, while ...more
What I particularly appreciated about this memoir is that, while ...more
This is a wonderful 'moving on' book for readers who are forever in major transitions in their respective lives. Well, that's a pretty loaded line there but reading this book gives you ideas on how to go about moving on from one major situation in your life to another without totally damaging but actually creating your best self given resources on hand.
Having gotten my copy from one of the brownstone stoops in Park Slope, Brooklyn, I thought the cover was funny looking with a goldfish...more
Having gotten my copy from one of the brownstone stoops in Park Slope, Brooklyn, I thought the cover was funny looking with a goldfish...more
I think goodreads should install a rating system that includes half stars, because 4 stars wasn't enough, but 5 seems like a bit too much. That being said, I loved this book. This is one of those reads where you can't wait to read it when you're doing something else. It's the 3rd book in a row I've read where the author does cocaine...I'll break that streak eventually...hopefully. It involves gays, drag queens, escorts and goldfish...aka the recipe for a really good book. I adore the voice the a...more
Holy crap. I put the book down after the first two pages, took a deep breath, and forged ahead. The lives led by the author (an alcoholic ad exec by day, alcoholic drag queen by night) and his crackhead whore of a boyfriend (as the boyfriend was a male escort, I feel okay with the "whore" terminology) are horrifying enough to make you throw the book into a Dumpster, take a scalding shower in Lysol, and find the nearest hellfire and brimstone church so you can receive a cleansing of y...more
Anyone who has ever felt a little lost will see a bit of themselves in Josh Kilmer-Purcell's tale of his first year in New York, and of his first love. A junior ad exec by day and a professional drag queen named Aqua by night, Josh seems to make bad decision after bad decision and is not-so-slowly developing a serious drinking problem. He desperately searches for a way to pull himself out of the mess, and thinks he has found a source of stability in his new boyfriend Jack, a successful gay esc...more
I don't know if it's appropriate to describe an alcoholic drag queen's memoir of his relationship with a crack cocaine-addicted S&M male escort as "sweet," but that is one of the words I would certainly use to describe this fascinating, wry, and wonderfully told autobiography. Josh is a master storyteller whose quips and acumen are as sharp as his stilettos. I found myself laughing and, at turns, crying at the details of his life and his relationship, a passionate love affair that was ...more
I Am Not Myself These Days
Josh Kilmer-Purcell
Harper Perennial
New York, 2006
The Seduction of Goldfish
It's completely normal to read about men who dress up in drag, complete with live goldfish swimming around in their plastic boobs, right?
Sounds normal to me. Sound normal to you?
I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of books I read before I stumbled upon the memoir category. I don't think I touched a single one (especially not if it was lei...more
Josh Kilmer-Purcell
Harper Perennial
New York, 2006
The Seduction of Goldfish
It's completely normal to read about men who dress up in drag, complete with live goldfish swimming around in their plastic boobs, right?
Sounds normal to me. Sound normal to you?
I'm actually quite shocked at the amount of books I read before I stumbled upon the memoir category. I don't think I touched a single one (especially not if it was lei...more
Impressive from its funny yet frightening first pages to its lovely last sentences, this memoir is a marvel. Not only does the reader get a drag queen's eye view to a specific facet of New York night life, but his unflinching reportage from the trenches of addiciton (both his own relationship w/ alcohol and his partner's struggle with crack) rings absolutely true--yet miraculously never gets mawkish or melodramatic. In fact, all his observations seem so authentic and candid, they are at once h...more
I read Josh Kilmer-Purcell's The Bucolic Plague last year and absolutely loved it. It was funny, charming, cozy, honest, picturesque, and, to add color to those adjectives, wholesome. That said, I'm so glad I read it out of chronological order, after this, JK-P's first, break-out book. This book is sad. Not bad, but sad. It made me tired, reading it. I'm not sexually squeamish, but many times I had to lay this book down, face down and away from me, and take a deep breath before I picked it up an...more
I picked this book up expecting to read wild stories about being a drag queen. I was imagining David Sedaris in drag. What I got was something much more moving and thoughtful. Yes, there are plenty of wild stories and hilarious anecdotes about Aqua, the author's other personality. But this is also a story about a doomed love affair, and the affect drugs can have on a relationship. Josh Kilmer-Purcell strikes the perfect balance, never allowing the laughs to obscure the reality of the ...more
Absolutely hooked from the first page, when Josh (advertising exec by day, alcoholic drag queen by night) wakes up to find his crack addict male-escort boyfriend standing over him with a knife, a "not so elegant plan" to stab him... and then jump off the 42-story high penthouse balcony.
Seriously, what? This book was nuts. Finished it in a day because I was just that hooked. Reminds me of Candy by Luke Davies except even more fucked up. It's just a seriously beautiful, albei...more
Seriously, what? This book was nuts. Finished it in a day because I was just that hooked. Reminds me of Candy by Luke Davies except even more fucked up. It's just a seriously beautiful, albei...more
This is memoir about an alcoholic drag queen (by night, marketing agent by day), and a slowly deteriorating relationship between him and his high class whore of a boyfriend (who is actually really sweet, until he starts hitting the crack pipe). This book isn't for the squeamish, or those who are new to reading about the underground world of hard core drugs and gay sex.
One of my favorite parts of the book is when the author describes what it takes to get into his character, Aqua ...more
One of my favorite parts of the book is when the author describes what it takes to get into his character, Aqua ...more
This book started out to be absolutely, completely hilarious. I thought "Oh man, I really want to hang out with Aqua!"
It then descended into a sad, heartbreaking tale of people out of control with drugs and partying. Aqua (and his day incarnation, Josh) is an amazingly witty Drag Queen who has clear plastic breasts with live fish inside and stands 7'2" in her heels. She's snarky, brilliant, and an alcoholic. She meets up with Jack, who she initially thinks is a Doctor...more
It then descended into a sad, heartbreaking tale of people out of control with drugs and partying. Aqua (and his day incarnation, Josh) is an amazingly witty Drag Queen who has clear plastic breasts with live fish inside and stands 7'2" in her heels. She's snarky, brilliant, and an alcoholic. She meets up with Jack, who she initially thinks is a Doctor...more
What's a memoir without lots of sex, alcohol & drugs. Well it certainly wouldn't be this one. We don't get a bio of Josh's life but more of a time period in his life when he first moved to New York city working at an advertising agency and moonlighting as Aqua, a drag queen who wears live goldfish on her breast (you have to read to find out how) & his love affair with Jack, a crack addicted S&M male escort. We follow the trajectory of this inevitably doomed relationship (hopefully this isn't a...more
There were a few typos in the Kindle version that I'm sure are likely not present in the print version.
If you don't know anything about drag queens in NYC, don't know anything about club life, Tunnel, crack cocaine, or drinking to excess and perhaps want to dip your toes into those waters without actually having to *do* any of those things, then grab this book. It's well-written and the voice is entertaining at best and only mildly shrill at worst, and I tell you what, if Josh were ...more
If you don't know anything about drag queens in NYC, don't know anything about club life, Tunnel, crack cocaine, or drinking to excess and perhaps want to dip your toes into those waters without actually having to *do* any of those things, then grab this book. It's well-written and the voice is entertaining at best and only mildly shrill at worst, and I tell you what, if Josh were ...more
In my obsession with all things 'Beekman Boys,' I picked up this book in order to read-up on Josh Kilmer-Purcell's life before the farm. Although at the same time funny and cringe-inducing, this memoir unabashedly describes Josh as an advertiser-by-day / drag-queen-by-night and his drug-abusing escort boyfriend.
I enjoyed this book from a voyeuristic perspective... but it did nothing to quell my fears of night life in New York. And although I have accepted my own personal level of...more
I enjoyed this book from a voyeuristic perspective... but it did nothing to quell my fears of night life in New York. And although I have accepted my own personal level of...more
This is a book I had never really considered reading but kept hearing about off and on. I finally decided to just try it even though the description of the book really didn't interest me in the least. I mean, what could a straight woman possibly have in common with a gay drag queen? More than you might think! I just finished it, and WOW! It really is absolutely fantastic. I laughed (many times), I cried (many, many times), and even though I didn't expect to be able to relate to anything at all i...more
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Josh Kilmer-Purcell is the New York Times best-selling author of I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir (Harper Perennial 2006), The Bucolic Plague: How Two Manhattanites Became Gentlemen Farmers (Harper 2010), and the novel Candy Everybody Wants (Harper Perennial 2008). He and his partner, Brent Ridge, are also the stars of Planet Green's The Fabulous Beekman Boys. Kilmer-Purcell writes a monthly c...more
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“And sometimes the show can't go on.”
—
12 people liked it
“I am not an alcoholic. I'm a social catalyst. People pay me to illustrate for other partygoers the chemical process involved in transforming from one persona into another drunker, more fun one. It's a matter of going from dull point A to exciting point B. And I'm a raving success at it. So successful that sometimes I wind up at Mysterious Point C.”
—
11 people liked it
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