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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
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The Entitlement Trap: How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership

4.09 of 5 stars 4.09  ·  rating details  ·  545 ratings  ·  169 reviews
Dump the allowance-and use a new "Family Economy" to raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification.

Number-one New York Times bestselling authors Richard and Linda Eyre, have spent the last twenty-five years helping parents nurture strong, healthy families. Now they've synthesized their vast experience in an essential blueprint to instilling children with a
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Paperback, 256 pages
Published September 6th 2011 by Avery Trade
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Lara
I've been seeing quite a lot of hype about this book in blogland, so I was excited when I was asked to review it.

I have devoured it. Devoured. And I am excited to implement the principles I've learned in my own household.

In the introduction, The Eyres explain how entitlement is the "one reason parenting is harder today than it has ever been." And then they go on to explain that entitlement comes from a lack of ownership. Children are given so much and little is expected of them. It took much mor
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Jack Cheng
I'm officially giving up on this one, having read about 2/3.

The authors diagnose a common issue in families -- entitlement -- but their solution is to establish a market economy in your home. I can see how this would give kids incentive to work and to feel ownership for things they bought, and generally appreciate the life they lead. However, living life like it's a Monopoly game doesn't sound great to me. It might work for some people (and kids) but I would hate for my kids to constantly put a
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Tara D
Having not ever read any of the other Eyre's other books, I found this book to be a tremendous resource. Others have complained that it's a bit redundant if you've read other Eyre books, but I LOVED it. We did not implement the money system in its entirety, but we did incorporate many of the ideas, tweaked a bit for our family and combined with the system one of their children uses (as described on her blog (http://www.71toes.com/search/label/money). It's a fantastic way to give your children OW ...more
Russell
This is the first Eyre book I've read, so that being said, here's what I most enjoyed about it:

* The ideas are practical and make sense
* They included reader feedback with additional variations and suggestions
* Didn't feel "fluffy", all the content was relevant and I didn't have a sense/need to skip anything
* The ideas resonated with me, many recommendations connected the dots for some ideas I've had for quite some time but wasn't sure how to implement them
* I felt motivated and encouraged by wh
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Becky
So this is the first book I have read authored by the Eyre's. Some of the other reviews I have read expressed that their books can be repetitive and redundant- but not having read any previously I thought this book was great! A must read for everyone. Whether you have children or not. I think the title is a little misleading (in my opinion)... I didn't feel like my children needed to be rescued, and we have implemented some of these principles into our home prior to reading the book, just not on ...more
Laura Murdoch
I really enjoy all of the Eyre's books, but they all seem to read the same with the same information. Most of the examples they used in the book were from other of their books that I've read. I wanted new examples and ideas from them. I totally agree with them that the current generation of kids seem to be more entitled than ever before. I think even my generation feels that they are entitled to more with less work. Just look at the nation's debt and obesity rates, for example, it screams entitl ...more
Cailean
Okay I'm going to be 100% honest and say I really don't like parenting books. I don't know why exactly, but maybe it's because the point at which I really NEED to read one, I'm so exhausted and frustrated that I don't have any desire to read it! That being said, I trust the Eyre family's advice and I liked the title of this book. I found it really interesting and well thought-out. It doesn't hold back in basically telling parents that they are the problem. It's true. If a child feels entitled, t ...more
Amy
I love this book! While most parenting books I have read are reactive, this book is proactive. I love all of the ideas in this book: from family traditions and family economy to helping your children to have ownership over values, decisions, relationships, etc. I have always felt that a parent should be more of a guide than a tyrant (especially as children grow up and need to take on more responsibility), but did not have the skill-set to make this work. I will (and have already) be implementing ...more
Rachelle
I listened to this book on CD and really loved many of the ideas presented. The main portion of the book outlines a system to help kids work in their home, earn money and spend it wisely. Although I've never really been a big fan of allowances, this is quite different and this book demonstrates how the ownership given to kids through this system can really help them gain responsibility, greater appreciation for the things they do enjoy and a greater sense of self worth. IT also lends greater mea ...more
Ashley
Great book! There is a very corny parable about the Owner Ship in the first chapter or two, but I realized that it part of it's beauty. Because it is so contrived, it has the power to really stick with you and teach principles clearly.

I like the starting point this gives for building strong families with responsible members each taking ownership of their choices and things. I don't think it is intended to be a cookie cutter pattern for everyone, but a basis for a way of thinking.
Laurel
I really enjoyed this readable and applicable book. I hadn't thought of the problem facing parents today as an issue with entitlement before reading the book, but now I find myself applying the idea right and left. We have been successful for the first time with our "family economy" thanks to many of the ideas in this book.
Sally
One of the best parenting books I've read. This book has the solution for rampant entitlement - ownership! The Eyre's have targeted these parenting ideas towards the oft forgotten middle age children (ages 8 through 14). Their advice makes sense!! Glad I read it and will be a supportive grandparent.
Shauna
I enjoyed reading this book as follow up to a parenting retreat we attended in the Eyre's home. I think it's directed mainly for parents with children in the elementary school years. I agreed with another reviewer who said it was like "the best of" taken from all other books the Eyre's have written.
Maren
LOVED this book & can't wait to use the ideas in our family!
Heidi
The premise of this book is that many parenting problems come from kids' sense of entitlement. When kids feel they deserve and should have whatever they want and be able to do anything they want (entitlement), they lack motivation, independence, responsibility, and other important traits. The solution proposed is to give kids a sense of ownership. People feel ownership when they work for something, work on something, and/or work with something. When kids feel ownership, they gain responsibility, ...more
Melissa
The Entitlement Trap has revolutionized our family economy and also influenced our approach to parenting. The premise is that "ownership is the antidote to entitlement and the prerequisite to responsibility." In the first half of the book the authors, Richard and Linda Eyre, outline a monetary system that reflects the real economy and helps kids learn how to earn, save, budget, give to others and take care of the things that belong to them. The second half of the book focuses on giving kids owne ...more
Book Him Danno
We have five wonderful children that are constantly asking for things and money. One wants the newest things out there, another wants every new Lego set on the market, another wants only the best clothes with the biggest names splashed across his chest, another doesn’t really care and the one and only girl wants craft items to make and play with everyday. Well this gets to be difficult and expensive. What do we buy and what don’t we buy? We do not believe in debt and so we honestly can’t buy muc ...more
Danielle
This was great- I love the Eyres and I would recommend this for anyone to read. I have read some of their other stuff so I feel like much of it was reviews of their other publications, condensed and packed in. But for someone with a young family, I need all the review I can get, so I didn't mind. I love love love the idea though- oh I love what they teach and have to offer. It is wild what entitlement is coming to mean these days and I so badly want to teach my children the correct view of money ...more
Tanya
This book came highly recommended and I approached it with an open, teachable attitude. During the first section I found myself nodding my head in agreement, ready to incorporate all the Eyres' suggestions into my family life. But as the book went on and details of "the family economy" piled up, I found so many things that wouldn't work in our home. For one thing, my kids are too old to start such an all-encompassing program; they wouldn't respond well to overturning the way we do absolutely eve ...more
Elasha
I'm constantly looking for ways to fine tune our work/money management systems for our kids, and I like the Eyres, so I had to take a look at this one. I have read the Eyre's other books (Teaching Your Children Values; Teaching your Children Responsibility) and am fairly familiar with their other support resources. And so, this one seemed pretty repetitive. If you have not read their other books, then I highly recommend this and/or the others as great parenting resources: good ideas, practical, ...more
Beckarado
This book is exactly what I was looking for. My kids are not "spoiled brats", but I want to be sure that they don't become them. I want them to learn to work for things (money) and learn to spend wisely, and learn to own their behavior, own their decisions, own their lives.

The first part of this book goes over a "family economy" where kids do specific jobs through the week and earn points that essentially earn money at the end of the week (pay day)....it's not like getting an allowance because y
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Yvonne
I really, REALLY liked the parenting method the Eyres used with their children. I also didn't realize until after reading this book that THEY are the creators of Joy School that I've heard so many moms talk about.

After reading reviews of this book, I saw that for newcomers to the Eyres library, this was a good one, but if you have already read their other books, you will already know what is in here and feel it is redundant.

Since I am new to the Eyres library, I really did like this book. I ap
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Kim
Jan 28, 2013 Kim rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: all parents
Shelves: 2013, parenting
I came across the Eyre's "Family Economy" method of teaching kids money management and budgeting etc. on the internet. We have adopted it with only some minor variation. Our kids are now earning their own money with which they have to buy all their own clothes, gifts, and entertainment after they have paid tithing and contributed to their long term savings. It is so exciting to see the learning that is going on. We've also taught them to do their own laundry recently and I am one happy mom about ...more
Madison
After seeing this book pop up several times I checked it out. I enjoyed that it was a quick read with example stories to illustrate the points. I think in a society of entitled people there is a big need for parents to read this book. (You can even skim it since they review at the end of each chapter and it is a little repetitive.) The Eyres set forth simple ideas with large impacts. Creating a family community that focuses on values, goals, and responsibilities. I hope I remember some of the id ...more
Alissa
This was basically the extended version of "A Mother's Book of Secrets". It went into more detail on the family budgeting, teaching values, etc. I am now very interested in reading their book "Teaching Children Values" which seems to be the starting point to the Eyre's family approach. Most of this "Entitlement" book starts as a child reaches the age of 8. I will definitely read it again when we are approaching that point, but for now, most of this information was filed away in the 'to be used a ...more
Kim
Three and a half stars. I liked a lot of the ideas the Eyre's present in this book. It felt a little overwhelming at times, I am not sure if that is because it was just a little much to take in, or if I need to drastically update my parenting game plan. There are definitely things I will refer to and I even bought the book they suggested about having the big talk with your kids: "Where Did I Come From?"

Amanda
Apr 23, 2014 Amanda added it
I really liked this book. It was a bit long winded in the first half about money, but my kids are pretty young and not quite ready for the money system as much. I love the second half about values! I am definitely going to start a "repent bench" for my kids. I borrowed this from our library and it has enough good information I may buy it.
Karisa
The ideas in this book are targeted for elementary school-aged children, so I want to re-read it in a few years when my boys are 8+. I like this couple's philosophies on teaching children about money-- they created a fancy hybrid system of allowance mixed with chores, and it sounds like a great solution so children have to earn money and don't feel entitled to you paying them. (I like their system, but maybe minus the giant peg board on the wall that they suggest, and minus the padlocked treasur ...more
Tim
There are some good ideas here. While reading this book, I recommended one idea (pre-deciding) for a peer that was worried about a potential upcoming interaction. That alone suggest the book is worthy if you're willing to take the suggestions and reconfigure them to your own style. I liked the suggestions for the most part, and the ones I didn't definitely had me thinking a bit. In the end, I wasn't fond of the presentation; it felt like I was in a church workshop. I think it to be about a 2 sta ...more
Christie
I've been hearing about this book for months in the news. Tim and I seem to talk a lot about how kids are so different these days, and wondered what changed. This book explains why. This is the first book I've read by the Eyres so the only parts that were repetative for me were the chapters they've posted online.

I liked talking to Tim about the ideas in this book and probably will implement some of them in our own house down the road. He especially got a kick from Gunny Bag. And how I told him t
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As writers, lecturers, and grassroots and media catalysts, Linda and Richard Eyre's mission statement is: FORTIFY FAMILIES by Popularizing Parenting, Validating Values, and Bolstering Balance. Their latest efforts in these directions are their new books, The Happy Family (St. Martins Press,), Empty Nest Parenting (Bookcraft,) and The Book of Nurturing (McGraw Hill,), and their regular appearances ...more
More about Richard Eyre...
5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges Life Before Life: Origins of the Soul...Knowing Where You Came from and Who You Really Are Spiritual Serendipity: Cultivating and Celebrating the Art of the Unexpected Harold Pinter: A Celebration The Three Deceivers

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“Resolution, like responsibility, is a product of ownership, and kids can't resolve a conflict until they figure out how they contributed to it.” 25 likes
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