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Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever.

3.27  ·  Rating Details  ·  547 Ratings  ·  132 Reviews
For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so ...more
Kindle Edition
Published (first published May 10th 2011)
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May 25, 2011 Sara rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" vampire with a blood allergy. Jane was turned during the depression and has been moving every four years since with her parents and her younger bother. At Jane's new school she has to deal with a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner and a couple teen vampires all while dealing with her over protective mother and her blood alergy.

This book had so much promise. The title and description made it sound like comedy
Jan 29, 2013 Diana rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was surprised by this book. I assumed it would be your typical YA vampire story - awkward teen vampire girl meets boy, they fall in love, overcome vampire issue, and live happily ever after... (unless it's a series) - and while that add a line of humor throughout the story, strange things happen in Jane's life that make the book almost more of a mystery than a teen vampire romance. It is a short, fun read, and I would recommend it if you like vampires, mysteries, or YA books about awkward teen ...more
Aug 10, 2011 Aliza rated it liked it
Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen v
May 26, 2011 Destiny rated it it was amazing
I was initially drawn to this book by its cute, bright pink cover, and title. Then I read the synopsis and it sounded so funny. Can you imagine a vampire stuck in an eternally awkward tween phase, from the wrong side of the tracks, and to make things worse, has a blood allergy? I HAD to have this book!

Caissie St. Onge did not disappoint. The hilarity begins from page one and does not cease. Meet Jane Jones. The Worst. Vampire. Ever. Jane has been battling a series of undead lifetimes of being le
Sep 21, 2014 Emily rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
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This book should be retitled Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Book Ever. I understand that the point of the book was to be humorous and entertaining, but I don't think it was any of those. When the book was supposed to be funny, I found myself cringing for the main character, and I didn't find it entertaining. If I could have the time back that I wasted on this book, I would take it in a heartbeat.

This book was clearly supposed to t
Jane is a vampire, but a unique vampire who is allergic to blood. She also doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere and has no friends.

I was pulled into this story with the first chapter especially with Jane's mother. I thought it was going to be a cute and somewhat funny book. I mean Jane's mother at the start cracked me up. Unfortunately as the story went on it got worse and I didn't find it funny at all.

"It was because the whole reason I was here was a phony, fake farce and I had a lot of real
Sarah Miles
It took me *forever* to finish reading this one, and I was close to giving up on it. The first half of the book just wasn't holding my attention, so I jumped to a couple of other series before telling myself to finish this or give it up. And let me just say - the second half is *way* better. Jane Jones, a vampire who's allergic to blood, is an outcast in the "vampires frozen as teens" group. She hates it. Wishes that her family would've just been left alone by the "farmers" that turned them. The ...more
Piper Gilkison
May 23, 2011 Piper Gilkison rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was... wow! It contains love, loss, and the stress of being a 15 year old female vampire ( Actually 80 years old, but to the human eye, no one can tell)! Being blood intolerent, Jane is having a hard time with the whole 'vamp' thing!
This book was amazingly sweet and fiesty at the same time! My favorite part was... well, find out for yourself!
Amy Grieve
Jane Jones is a 75-year-old teen vampire. Jane isn't stunningly beautiful, she doesn't sparkle and has a severe allergy to blood. It doesn't help that she wears glasses and comes from the wrong side of the tracks. Things heat up for Jane when Eli, the super nerdy boy from American History, and Timothy, the super hot vampire, start showing an interest in Jane.

Trying to survive high school and the mean vampire kids is bad enough, but when the past starts to catch up with Jane and her family thing
Jun 30, 2011 Kelsey rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
Courtesy of Goodreads First reads.

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Liz at Midnight Bloom Reads
I essentially took one look at the cover, flipped to the back of the novel to read the plot description and then instantly started reading it! I know dystopian is steadily taking over as the next big thing, but I still can't resist vampire novels... especially when it looks like I'll be getting some laughs in as well!

Contrary to popular belief, vampirism is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, there are rich, beautiful and powerful vampires out there but Jane Jones and her family are anythi
Cathy  Keaton
Aug 29, 2011 Cathy Keaton rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
How do I begin to write about how funny and clever this little novel was? I'm going to have to do my best. Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. sounded like a hilarious title, and, although not a raucous knee-slapper ever other line, it was still overall witty and full of comedic, lovable characters that shaped it into a fun, fast read. I found myself enjoying this title so much, I wanted the judge at the hearing I had to attend in support of my sister to be quiet so I could concentrate on it!

Nov 30, 2011 Kate rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2011
First Impression:
Nice twist on vampire lore. Cute cover. Seemed like it had quite a bit going for it. Was really hoping for some humor.

While Reading:
I really, really wanted to like Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. The summary seems to promise a funny, quirky take on the vampire lore which is different than most vampire offerings. But what I got, was a tale that seemed to try a little too hard.

After finishing the last page, my brain has been trying to sort out my feelings for Jane Jones. Part of
Jul 29, 2011 Andrea rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones is a teenage vampire who has been alive for 90 years. She isn't pretty, doesn't sparkle, and she has an allergy to blood. Since I'm sick of the run-of-the-mill teenage-angst vampire novels, I thought I'd give this one a try since it seemed humorous. It's a short book so it was a one-day read. I agree with other reviewers that Jane seems to have learned nothing in her 90 years, and that made the book a little unbelieveable. From the way she acts, you would think she had been "turned" y ...more
Stacey B.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This was a cute book. I was afraid that it was going to be a little too cutesy with too much high school drama, but that wasn't the case at all. The book has the typical story line of the girl desperately wanting to fit in with the 'cool' crowd, but there's a twist that vampires are involved. I think this book is great for anyone who wants to read a quick book that is actually a good book as well.

CHARACTERS: The main character of the book is Jane. She is a vampire, but she ha
Apr 10, 2015 Katie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya-for-y-o-u
I'm really only giving this 4 stars for the writing. I mean, it was pretty good, I guess. I read it all in a day. But the plot was a little jumpy (like the ending, not really a spoiler but you should probably stop reading this if you don't want spoilers- when she made her decision after not having brought it up in a long time and with the indication made indirectly to the reader) and the main character, Jane, wasn't very clear on her beliefs (like not contacting people for decades and then sudde ...more
Sixteen-year-old (going on 90) Jane Jones is new at Port Lincoln High. Vampires move around a lot since they don't age. She has to survive high school again and again. There are a lot of vampires wherever Jane moves but their existence is kept secret from humans.

Jane wouldn't mind being a dork as much if her overly-protective mother didn't insist she try to blend in with the other cooler vampires. She's not likely to impress the cool vampires if they find out she's allergic to blood, so she only
Jennifer Rinehart
I finished this book weeks ago, which is a big sign that I didn't care for since it took me this long to get around to reviewing it. There isn't anything specific I can point to that would sum up my middling level of dissatisfaction, this was an okay book, it just wasn't very fun, exciting, interesting or thought provoking.

Jane Jones is a vampire. Her mom, dad and ten year old brother are vampires too. They were made undead during the great depression and ever since they move from town to town,
The synopsis of this one caught my eye and it sounded different enough that I thought I'd give it a chance. Was a little disappointing, but still an okay read.

Jane's family was turned during the 1930s and are not independently wealthy, suave, or sophisticated. Nice change of pace, as most vampires sound too good to be true. I always wondered why vampires had so much money at their disposal. Even with their long lives, you still have to have money in order to benefit from all that lovely compoun
Sep 05, 2015 Alisha rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 1-star

Let me start by saying that I love vampire novels. I enjoyed reading Anne Rice's Vampires Chronicles, liked reading the Twilight Saga through I thought sparkling was unnecessary for the vampires, but it's not my book so it's okay. But this book was a big disappointment for me. The cover was brightly colored, which I didn't mind. But the story in its self, was awkward to me. I give the author props for trying a different twist to vampire novels, but I didn't really like it as much as I thought I
Jan 27, 2012 Melinda rated it really liked it
I bought this book because of the title though the summary was interesting as well. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised with the story. I was expecting something more along a parady and ended up with a really good story.

Jane is a 90 year old vampire who will eternally be a high school student and who has an eating disorder. Much to my surprise this ended up being more of a mystery than a book on how a 90 year old handles high school. There was even an unexpected turn of events towards the e
Dec 10, 2011 Shelley rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Winter Warmers Event ~ Shelley Workinger picks Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge:

I live for humor. I need it in my friends, movies, books, and my own work, even though my “Solid” series isn't a comedy. In fact, my most treasured reader accolades are those that say what a great, sarcastic heroine Clio is. And I couldn't let her be the only one: Jack is adorably witty; Miranda's comebacks aren't usually cute, but they are clever; Garrett can always
Megan Burback
Jane Jones is a vampire and not a very good one at that seeing as she can’t drink blood or she will have an allergic reaction (not very pretty). She’s a self-proclaimed nerd with a pretty boring life (aside from the vampirism that is). Really, she’s just an ordinary misfit teenager going to high school time after time after time. Until one day she meets two boys: Eli a geeky, shy, but cute boy who is her partner in her American History class and Timothy, a suave, handsome, popular vampire boy wh ...more
Nov 20, 2011 Rhianna rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Should NOT be compared to Jay, Fantaskey, or Brewer!

Jane Jones is just your average teenaged vampire with over-protective parents and a blood-intolerance. For no apparent reason she's suddenly receiving the attentions of handsome vampire Timothy and awkward human Eli. All she really wants is to be human again, even if it means leaving her parents and younger brother behind. Meanwhile she has to juggle schoolwork and problematic peers.

I chose this book because of the comparison to one of my favo
May 22, 2011 Teresa rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
"When a group of freaks are calling you a freak, it's pretty freaking bad." -- Jane Jones

High school sucks for normal kids, but imagine if you could never graduate because you're a sixteen year old vampire who has been repeating her high school years ever since the Great Depression. To make matters worse, if you're Jane Jones you can only safely drink the rarest blood type in the world and all the common blood gives you an allergic reaction. Things begin to look up when Jane reads about a possi
This book took awhile to really take off but once it did it pulled me in. This is not a heart pounding teen vampire drama. It's funny and had me laughing at so many funny one liners. A good example of what you'll get in the book is this line:"Leave it to me to be the first vampire in history to trip on her shoelace and stake herself through the heart". This was so different from any of the other vampire books I have read. I never found myself comparing this book or that book to this one, which w ...more
Kayla Cagan
Jul 15, 2011 Kayla Cagan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm not a vampire fan or reader of ATV (All things Vampire), and this book was perfect for a reader like me.
It pokes fun at some of the old vampire adages, and plays with the their traditional powers and weaknesses. What I thought would be a silly and light-hearted Mean-Girl-Vampires-in-High-School kind of novel is actually built with intriguing backstory and some surprising, scary plot discoveries.

Jane Jones, AKA Josephine, is our sweet, nerdy protagonist who doesn't enjoy her vampireness and
Nov 29, 2011 Raina rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" 90 year old vampire, and not a very good one at that, with a blood allergy. Yep. A vamp who is allergic to blood. Jane, who was turned along with the rest of her family, during the depression. Ever since then she and her family have been on the move every four years to avoid detection. At Jane's most recent school she encounters a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner, and a couple of really nasty snobby typica ...more
Jun 02, 2015 Jennifer rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book! It could have had a little more to the ending, but it was a great, fast read! The characters were lovable and I'd love a sequel to see where some of the story lines would go. There were some fresh ideas for vampires in the book and even though some of the plots were predictable, I still enjoyed it a lot! I'm sad to see that the author doesn't have any more books on Goodreads. I would definitely read a sequel and would love to check out more of her works.
Ken Kugler
Aug 17, 2012 Ken Kugler rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Ever, by Caissie St. Onge is a surprisingly good story. When I first picked it up I thought that it was a comedy but no, it is a serious story. This is a sort of never coming of age story or a girl, Jane Jones, who died and was reborn during the depression in the dustbowl area. As with vampires, they don’t age so Jane and her brother and parents have to move every 3-4 years. Also Jane has a rare, for vampire problem. She is allergic to all blood except a very rare blood ...more
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Review 2 12 Mar 02, 2011 02:13PM  
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