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How to Love an American Man: A True Story
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How to Love an American Man: A True Story

3.41 of 5 stars 3.41  ·  rating details  ·  570 ratings  ·  88 reviews
An endearing and unforgettable memoir of love, self-discovery, and enduring, old-fashioned values

Kristine Gasbarre made a New York career of dating driven, inaccessible men. When she realizes her love life will never result in happiness if she continues on the same path, she makes a big decision—relocating to Italy to discover her roots and find out what defines her adorin
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Paperback, 287 pages
Published August 16th 2011 by William Morrow Paperbacks
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Jillian
Oh Dear.

Every now and then a book comes along where the premise sounds so good that you feel like you MUST read the book. In this case, the book in question was How to Love an American Man by Kristine Gasbarre and I’d requested it as my monthly book to review and eagerly waited for it in the mail. I couldn’t wait to read what I was certain was going to be an amazing story of intergenerational lessons, story-telling and romance.

I was wrong. This isn’t going to be one of those book reviews where I
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Jennifer
From my blog .

First, a little background. I have to admit - when I first saw the title of this book, I didn't have much of a desire to read it. And that was before I even read the synopsis! Have you ever done that? Have you made a snap judgment about a book just based on the title alone? Trust me, I will never make that mistake again!

After reading Meg's review (from Write Meg), I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I had to read this book. Meg is one of my favorite book bloggers and her glo
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Meg
Kristine Gasbarre’s How To Love An American Man is a book that emotionally socked me in the stomach in a way that few books ever have. Gasbarre’s true look at her grandparents’ marriage -- and what may have gone awry in her own love life -- was emotionally wrenching and unique.

In a word, I found this book invigorating. It’s not about a dysfunctional family, for one. Krissy has no qualms about spending the day with her grandmother, escorting her to doctor’s appointments before they sit down to ta
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Tressa
Definitely a 3.5 star--maybe a 4. Two of my favorite lines, "I teach the world how to treat me by the way I treat myself, and the way I present myself" and "a partner should make us want to improve ourselves constantly, and urge us to maximize what we contribute to the world." I loved the interaction between Kris and her grandmothers and what they teach her about herself and how to love first herself so that she can learn to learn others. It makes me reflect on how I present myself and if that's ...more
Melissa
I rarely give books one star, but feel I need to justify my feelings on this one. I've recently gotten into the "single woman travels or tries something new" genera - which seems to be growing as women get laid off or quit their full time jobs and decide to write a book. I liked "Eat, Pray, Love", and I loved Margaret Roach's memoir. Unfortunately, this book doesn't even belong in the same category as either. The writing is juvenile at best. I would say the characters are unlikable, but really t ...more
AL
This "book" is a sign that our society is in great decline for 2 reasons: one, it was published - how and why I cannot fathom. The second reason is that there are people who actually positively reviewed this book. This is the worst piece of junk ever to lay before my eyes. The description made it seem interesting but that's the only good thing about it. Immature, badly written and overall just awful. I couldn't stand Ms. Gasbarre! What a super annoying, self-absorbed woman!

Oh, I must admit there
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Tulin
This book is poorly written, and felt like one way too long blog post. Every person/character is the story is written in a worshipful tone, even if she does occasionally mention that the person does have a couple flaws. While I'm sure she loves her family very much, this shows a lack of ability to analyze people and characters to make them compelling - it also makes the book boring and frustrating and difficult to get through.
Her relationship with her grandmother is somewhat compelling, but the
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Amy
I'm really not sure what to make of this book. It's a stereotypical rom-com and I was hoping that the family history and advice from her grandmother would play a larger role than it did. I hated Dr. Chris and Tucker and wish that Kristine wasn't mooning over them so much. I had to keep reminding myself that she is only 28 in this book and I'm considerably older, which means that I have learned all of these lessons already.

Still, I'm going through a rough patch. I've recently moved to a new city
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Holly (2 Kids and Tired)
I have really mixed feelings about this book and how to write the review.. The synopsis and premise for this memoir sounded enthralling and I was anxious to read it, imagining a rich story of maternal family relationships. Instead, it was shallow and self-serving.

After starting it, I had to force myself to pick it up, as it was very easy to set aside and forget about it.

While this is a memoir, I really didn't like Krissy. I didn't care about her. Her time in Italy was almost written as an aftert
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Melanie
This is a hard review to give since I personally know the author. I thought Krissy did a great job on her first novel. It's hard to catorgorize this book. You could put it in novel, fictional memoir and even a sort of self-actualization book. Knowing some of the things that I know about Krissy, when I read the book, it was like I could hear her telling this story out loud. I loved the insight she had on her grandparents relationship and really took to heart the words her grandmother had to say t ...more
Ron Behnen
This book was absolutely refreshing. The family connection is so inspiring in today's world as we always read about strife within families. Gasbarre doesn't point blame at anyone; she simply struggles with relationships and turned to her grandmother as an alternative to today's ways of handling dates and the way guys look at relationships.

I could picture this as a movie soon. if hollywood doesn't see the emotional swings this book brings, then they're missing the boat. Good luck to Gasbarre in h
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Katie
Wow, this book has gotten a vast range of reviews! I tend to like memoirs in general and this one appealed to me instantly. I feel like the author of the book has been blasted for being immature and childish, which really surprised me. I felt like I was watching Kristine grow up throughout the book. I found her relationship with her grandma endearing and her candid writing engaging. This was an engaging book, and I thought very relatable. It's difficult as a 20-something today trying to find out ...more
Carrie O'Maley Voliva
This book started off with promise, but it turned into a rather annoying tribute to the writer's grandparents. When she started with some fun dating stories, it was interesting. Then she veered off course and spent 4/5 of the book talking about an annoying doctor who may or may not now be her boyfriend. Can he live up to her perfect grandfather's example of how a gentleman treats a woman? We don't even get to find out.
Meghan-Rose
I'm about halfway through this book and I absolutely despise it. A grown woman wrote this book? Her obsession with needing to find a man in order for her life to have some meaning is borderline pathetic. I'm tempted to stop reading it now but I'm holding on to hope that she will redeem herself by the end of her story.

*Update: to clarify, I did not finish reading this book. It was that bad.
Amy
So I wasn't exactly sure what the story was going to be about, but over all it was good.
Kris starts just like a lot of girls I know, who seem to be addicted to being in Love. It was cool how she begins to establish a more "grow-up" relationship with her parents and grandparents. Her grandmother turns out to be what some of us would consider forward thinking, for being so 'Old Fashioned'.
When i began, I felt kris was what most young women are these days, somewhat needy, and no direction. What sh
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Mary
You can read my take here.


Kallejay
Hated it. Too long and repetitive and focused on her insecurities
Caroline Daily
Author a bit whiny??
Kris Irvin
Here's the problem I found with this book: the description/synopsis makes it sound AWESOME! And then you get into it, and you realize, it's not awesome.

Before I get into the bad about this book, I do want to say that Kristine's writing in the beginning was great. The first 30 pages were hard for me to read because they were so emotional. Kristine did a great job there. But after those first 30 pages...

It's supposed to be about the lessons Kristine learns from her grandmother, right? And about h
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Diane
Gasbarre moved back home to DuBois, Pennsylvania following the death of her beloved grandfather, the head of her loving family. She was a little lost, professionally and personally. The man she loved moved to Bahrain, and she was losing interest in her job as a nanny in Italy.

When Grandpa dies, he left behind a bereft wife. Krissy always admired her grandparents' marriage, and now she had the opportunity to spend time with Grandma and ask her how she and Grandpa made their marriage work. Could G
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Jennannej
A beautiful and refreshing look at life, love, marriage, dating and singleness from the wisdom and experience of a grandmother to the ears of her granddaughter. It's not another one of those modern, jaded books on dating. Really sweet and fun.


Page 186:
Maybe the secret to fulfillment is to stop wondering what we're lacking; to stop seeking love and instead to start accepting ourselves and loving the people we encounter.

Page 248:
This is what it's like to be loved by a man. Before a woman falls in
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Jessica
There were aspects of this book that I did like, but overall I was kind of disappointed with it. The author had always struggled with dating and felt like she was never going to meet a good guy to get serious with. She decided to spend a year in Italy supposedly to research her family history, but really to try to make a long distance relationship with a British guy work. When that relationship ended not long after her grandfather died Kristine decided to move back home with her parents until sh ...more
Deb (Readerbuzz) Nance
Gasbarre's grandfather and grandmother had the perfect marriage and the perfect life. Gasbarre is beginning to think she will never find anyone with whom she can share her life, that she will never have a marriage or a life like that of her grandparents. After a sojourn in Europe and yet another disastrous relationship, she returns home to spend time with her grandmother and listen to her counsel.




I had mixed feelings about this book. I got very tired of hearing about the clothing and the jewelr
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Sazzy
Favorite quote: "I teach the world how to treat me by the way I treat myself, and the way I present myself" SO TRUE. I am going to try harder on this!

Honestly, the title of this book turned me off at first. Who has the authority to tell me how to love an American Man? BUT WOW. This book was beautiful because it involved a strong relationship between the author and her grandparents. I am a SUCKER for grandparent relationships, as I love my grandparents to death. They are my WORLD. Kristine beaut
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Igna
A young woman's very detailed account of her relationship with her grandmother after her grandfather dies and how she is looking for a husband. Why this is the book title, is beyond me. This is an autobiography.
Sue Latham
Guess I know the answer to this question because I found this book extremely boring and slow. I don't know how old the author is but I would have waited a few more years to write my memoir.
Prathyusha Kanala
When I started reading and was half way through I started getting disappointed that it is nothing great. But slowly towards the end I found myself enjoying the style of writing and the bonding with her grandma and all the important dialogues in the book. The last chapter when the two confess is like a dreamy poetry that just flows and puts me into a happy mood just not happy but a longing feeling to be with my loved one too. Loved the ending and the abruptness of it. The book kept me thinking of ...more
Katie
There was something about this book that hit home. I don't know if it was because I felt a strong connection to the Author -- as she had moved from home & moved back, as she felt that she wasn't going to find love after a break up, as she was in a transition in her life. I don't know when the exact part of the novel was that I couldn't put it down. It was a very easy read, it was uplifting. I've never recommended a book to my friends as much as I have this one. I believe that every young wom ...more
Meredy
Nov 20, 2011 Meredy rated it 3 of 5 stars
Shelves: fun
This memoir had me crying in the first chapter. If you have ever lost a grandparent or been close with one, this book will definitely touch on those feelings. A delightful read as Gasbarre takes us on her journey of finding love with the help and influence from her grandma after her grandpa (and rock of the family) has passed after 60+ years of marriage. If anything, this book will make you want to call your grandma(s), as she/they truly are wise and inspirational when it comes to love.
Eileen
I had high hopes for this book - I really liked the title and a friend recommended it to me. But, I guess I didn't know before I picked it up that this book wasn't a novel, but a true-ish story. I just thought it sounded a little naive. I'm no relationship expert, but most of the things that the author thought were so profound, I found myself thinking "well, yea, why wouldn't you do that?" It was quick and easy to read, but overall, I found it to be lacking a real story line.
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Share This Book

“In this moment, I understand that relationships aren't just a blessing, they're a necessity. The Trials of the individual are never enough reason not to love.” 6 likes
“Maybe the secret to fulfillment is to stop wondering what we're lacking; to stop seeking love and instead to start accepting ourselves and loving the people we encounter.” 6 likes
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