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Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me
"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows
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Published
(first published May 10th 2011)
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While it is not exactly an enormous feat to read all of Chelsea's books, I feel as if I have come to know her over the years through her essays and memoirs. When this book came out, I was a bit leery. Though it's about Chelsea (who is almost always funny), it wasn't written by her and therefore I was suspect. Still, I had read all of her previous books and was in a serious Handler drought so I decided to take a chance. I was disappointed. While I chuckled a few times and smiled every couple of c...more
I liked Chelsea's book, my horizontal life, but this one falls flat. I’m embarrassed for her. I was hoping for a list of clever pranks and instead what you find is a series of dumb lies and uncomfortable insight into who she is and the relationships with people around her.
Its a collection of stories that illustrate how irredeemably F*%$ed up in the head the whole group is. And not in a funny way- in a very sad co-dependent abusive unpleasant way.
I used to think she was a talented businesswoman a...more
Its a collection of stories that illustrate how irredeemably F*%$ed up in the head the whole group is. And not in a funny way- in a very sad co-dependent abusive unpleasant way.
I used to think she was a talented businesswoman a...more
Nothing screams, "Third in a three-book contract!" quite like Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me. In fact, it goes on to say, "Oh, shit! I'm three weeks over deadline and I still haven't written a word! I don't have time to write another book. I know! I'll let my friends write it for me! They should have enough to say about me to fill a whole book, right? No? Well, let me check my email, and see what else I can find."
The book starts out well enough (despite the obvious cop-out of not actually hav...more
The book starts out well enough (despite the obvious cop-out of not actually hav...more
9 likes · like · see review
Listened to this while driving from Minnesota to Chicago. This is a compilation of multiple people from Chelsea Handler's life writing about the practical jokes she plays on them. The bad part is that it is also read by the people who wrote each chapter. Some of the people reading their chapter were really great, others were awful or just plain annoying.
Aside from the actual readings, I didn't really enjoy the book. It was like listening to Punk'd but without Ashton Kutcher. Just couldn't get in...more
Aside from the actual readings, I didn't really enjoy the book. It was like listening to Punk'd but without Ashton Kutcher. Just couldn't get in...more
The author's purpose of writing this book was to make people laugh and have her friends tell stories about her. Technically the book was not written by Chelsea Handler, it is by her friends and family about the mean pranks she has played on them. A lot of the stories in the book are very funny, yet very mean. Chelsea had people write this book so the world would know what kind of a person she really is: an evil, disturbed, out to get everyone, funny person. She makes me laugh with every joke she...more
Turns out a book of "humorous" stories told by people who seem to need to be friends with any celebrity isn't interesting. Who could have imagined that! This book was a new low in the "crap I choose to listen to in my car" category. Listening to this book did reaffirm that my initial thoughts that Chelsea Handler was not only under-talented, but that she also got where she was by sleeping with the right people are completely true. Now, though, I know even more about her than I ever wanted to, an...more
1 like · like · see review
Dec 17, 2012
Susie
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
fiftyfiftyme,
possible-audiobook-consumption
This was painful. Honestly, this book portrays Chelsea Handler as an extremely cruel person.
Some of her pranks had me laughing hysterically out loud, but most of the time, they just made me feel bad for the people involved. An example is when Amy, her stylist, recounts how Chelsea crassly harasses hotel employees and strangers. Then later, casually mentions a time Chelsea peed on her. I really don't see what's that funny about that. It just makes her seem like a grown-up bully, walking around te...more
Some of her pranks had me laughing hysterically out loud, but most of the time, they just made me feel bad for the people involved. An example is when Amy, her stylist, recounts how Chelsea crassly harasses hotel employees and strangers. Then later, casually mentions a time Chelsea peed on her. I really don't see what's that funny about that. It just makes her seem like a grown-up bully, walking around te...more
It's an uncanny fact that my appreciation for humor, limited as it may be, tragically fails to carry over into the written word.
Take Jeff Dunham, for example. I adore the DVD's -- and he's even more spectacularly hilarious in person. I left his show all hyped up and ready to read his book -- and -- well -- it just wasn't that funny to me.
Granted, it was an autobiography, and as such it is certainly less inclined to be blatantly humorous as the real life ventriloquist show, right?
Even so, some of...more
Take Jeff Dunham, for example. I adore the DVD's -- and he's even more spectacularly hilarious in person. I left his show all hyped up and ready to read his book -- and -- well -- it just wasn't that funny to me.
Granted, it was an autobiography, and as such it is certainly less inclined to be blatantly humorous as the real life ventriloquist show, right?
Even so, some of...more
As with every other book I have had the pleasure to read by Chelsea Handler, “Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me” left me with a red, tear streaked face, an aching diaphragm, and little respect for the outrageous comedian. I laughed the entire way through, even though this time I was not surprised at any of the ridiculous stories I read. This is perhaps because I feel like I have come to know Chelsea personally after reading several of her hilarious memoirs and essays. “Essays” may not be the mos...more
This book will make you very, very glad you are not friends with and do not work for Chelsea Handler. Unless you like your weekends, honeymoons, and general everyday life ruined by her ridiculous and often weirdly cruel practical jokes. That said, her friends and co-workers seem incredibly gullible, so the book could also make you feel quite savvy and clever. Also, she and her friends and co-workers seem deeply immature--often in fun ways, but also really problematic ways, so the book could make...more
This is one of those books that you pick up just knowing it's going to be good and it doesn't disapoint. If you're a Chelsea Handler fan or have enjoyed any of her other books, then you'll like this one too. This book, unlike her others is written by her family, friends and victimes of the lies and pranks she has pulled on all of them. It's crazy how a. inventive b. creative c. serious and d. careless she is about the lies she tells and the emotions she tears to shreads. But almost all of the co...more
This book is not as good as the ones Chelsea writes herself. Instead, it was kind of like a half-hearted roast, in that each chapter was told from the point of view of someone in Chelsea Handler's life, and each person took the opportunity to call her names and insult her, but ultimately professed their love/friendship/admiration for her (about 75% fawning and only 25% insulting). The insults lose a little of their bite, though, because the stories are about how Chelsea so adeptly lies to the au...more
9 likes · like · see review
Jul 19, 2011
Ashley Mackler-Paternostro
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
true-story
I've read all of Chelsea's other books. Loved them. They are all laugh-out-loud books. Chelsea manages to get herself into some seriously bazaar situations, and her quick wit seems to always be her saving grace. If you've ever wondered how or why "all" that seems to pile down on this one woman, after reading this book, you'll wonder no more...she welcomes crazy in and then full on embraces it.
This book is written by the people who fill Handler's day, not by Handler herself--which, of course-- y...more
This book is written by the people who fill Handler's day, not by Handler herself--which, of course-- y...more
This book has absolutely no socially redeeming feature, so naturally, I really liked it. Chelsea Handler spends much of her time creating practical jokes with which to bedevil her friends. The rule seems to be that if she decides to make you a victim of her demonic humor, it's a sign of her love and respect. Unfortunately, I share this worldview which might be the reason that Chelsea Handler is one of my guilty pleasures. If I like you, I'm all over you, if I don't like you, I can't be bothered....more
Chelsea Handler is quite a conundrum. I love her show, in fact I get the little opening monologue as a podcast on my iPod. Not gonna lie, she's funny. But really, if I knew Chelsea in real life I'd probably hate her. Her antics are funny on TV, and I'm sure she's a nice person sometimes but she can just be a bitch sometimes. Although then sometimes I feel like she would be a blast to be around.
The first time I saw one of Chelsea Handlers books was when I was in the 8th grade. There was a Boarder...more
The first time I saw one of Chelsea Handlers books was when I was in the 8th grade. There was a Boarder...more
I'm glad I'm not friends with Chelsea Handler. People who raved about this book may say that I have no sense of humor, but I wonder what is funny about your friend ruining the song you are singing to your brand new husband during your wedding reception, regardless if you can hold a tune or not; making you believe that you are being sued and probably fired for sexual harassement thus ruining your future; spoiling your honeymoon; forging emails to your friends and family that you are pregnant (whe...more
I have to say I am impressed. Personally, I cannot tell even the most harmless, pointless of lies. Chelsea Handler on the other hand, can carry a lie for months on end and enlist co-conspirators to ensure the lie is believed. I marveled at the havoc she caused. I’m not sure which is more remarkable; that someone is this talented or that enough people enjoy the abuse.
The stories I enjoyed most were from her family. Chelsea is the youngest of 6, and by age 2 she was lobbing insults and generally...more
The stories I enjoyed most were from her family. Chelsea is the youngest of 6, and by age 2 she was lobbing insults and generally...more
I didn’t know what to expect with Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me. I loved Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang and Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea, but since this wasn’t written by Chelsea herself, I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as those two. Although it wasn’t exactly a triumph in hilarity, I was pleasantly surprised, and caught myself laughing / smiling like an idiot throughout the book regardless.
Chelsea clearly surrounds herself with some hilarious people, and thankfully, people who can tak...more
Chelsea clearly surrounds herself with some hilarious people, and thankfully, people who can tak...more
As I read the first few pieces within this book, which is actually a collection of essays written by Chelsea's family, friends, and co-workers (oh yeah, and her dog Chunk), I was hysterical from start to finish. The prose was as biting as that wit that Handler had to employ to pull of such stunts, my favorite being the instance when she convinces a co-worker who has recently discovered Ecstasy to smuggle a Ziploc baggie full of the pills in his "coslopus" all the way to Mexico, only to then have...more
I have read all of Chelsea Handler's books and this one was yet another hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny book, albeit with a different twist. Instead of being written from Handler's perspective, she has assembled a cast of writers from amongst her friends, family, coworkers and even pets. Each of them pens a chapter revealing all of the outrageous lies and pranks that Chelsea Handler has told or played on them, complete with pictures and short comments from Chelsea at the end.
I was pleasantly su...more
I was pleasantly su...more
WOW. I'm thinking I'm pretty safe because I don't live anywhere near L.A. and I'm a total nobody, but I sincerely hope that I NEVER have to meet her. Never. Seriously. The stuff she does to people is effed up, and I definitely couldn't handle it if she did it to me. Imagine PUNK'd times 100,000. Ashton Kutcher's got nothing on Cheslea Handler.
My first introduction to Chelsea Handler was on a flight to Maui. I had downloaded her audio book My Horizontal Life onto my MP3 player. It was THE most en...more
My first introduction to Chelsea Handler was on a flight to Maui. I had downloaded her audio book My Horizontal Life onto my MP3 player. It was THE most en...more
after 1.5 chapters: It is making me LMAO, so far
"Yippee Kiyay, Mr. Falcon!"
… at first it was ok and moderately amusing … then it was just something I needed to get through. I mean, it was totally ok, and parts of it are pretty funny. She is mean, though -- or her friends are really stupid, especially the one who changed his honeymoon based on some prank she pulled..... and some of those women seem like airheads. All of the readers are pretty annoying except her siblings – their voices aren’t as...more
"Yippee Kiyay, Mr. Falcon!"
… at first it was ok and moderately amusing … then it was just something I needed to get through. I mean, it was totally ok, and parts of it are pretty funny. She is mean, though -- or her friends are really stupid, especially the one who changed his honeymoon based on some prank she pulled..... and some of those women seem like airheads. All of the readers are pretty annoying except her siblings – their voices aren’t as...more
Product Description
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"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've a
Chelsea Handler, star of E!'s Chelsea Lately, has found a genius way to make more money pretty easily. Instead of writing another humorous book of essays about her life she tasked friends and family with writing them for her. The trade-off is that she is referred to very colorfully and in embarrassing ways. However, Chelsea always gets the last word at the end of each essay. And, since the essays are about the practical jokes she has pulled on each person, in the end the writer looks like the du...more
Maybe it's because I had such high expectations of a book from Chelsea Handler. Maybe it's because I had read the amazingly funny "Bossypants" right before it. Or maybe not all of Chelsea Handler's friends should be able to write a chapter in a book. Whatever it was, this book simply wasn't up to par by Handler standards.
We get it. Chelsea Handler acts like a 7 year old boy with boobs. She likes to play pranks (some of which are painfully stupid - yet people fall for them), but she only messes...more
We get it. Chelsea Handler acts like a 7 year old boy with boobs. She likes to play pranks (some of which are painfully stupid - yet people fall for them), but she only messes...more
Oh my god I love Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Lately is one of my favorite shows of all time so when this book came out I was revved up and ready to read. I did and am glad I am no where near Chelsea Handler. Brilliant, smart, hilarious. Seriously. This book is a need for anyone with a sense of humor. She's so smart, sassy and usually so low key with her humor it makes it all the better.
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM LIES CHELSEA HANDLER TOLD ME;
1. She's super, super, super smart and funny. She reminds me...more
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM LIES CHELSEA HANDLER TOLD ME;
1. She's super, super, super smart and funny. She reminds me...more
I have watched Chelsea Handler on Chelsea Lately, and I have read "Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea?", so I had an inkling of what to expect from "Lies that Chelsea Handler Told Me." But it was even better then I expected.
This book is written by friends and colleagues of Chelsea, and it is basically their stories of her pranks and lies to them. You see, Chelsea loves to lie and she loves to pull pranks, and the two go hand in hand. I can see why she loves to lie, she is fabulous at it! As e...more
This book is written by friends and colleagues of Chelsea, and it is basically their stories of her pranks and lies to them. You see, Chelsea loves to lie and she loves to pull pranks, and the two go hand in hand. I can see why she loves to lie, she is fabulous at it! As e...more
First let me say, I think Chelsea Handler is amazing! However this book isn't written by Chelsea Handler but written by friends, family and others and is a compilation of their stories about Chelsea. I will admit there were at least 3 stories in this book that had me literally laughing out loud (once in the waiting room at a hospital, wrong book to take to read I guess). However, I only thought this book was okay and borderline blah on most parts BECAUSE a lot of the contributors are telling sto...more
I debated reading this book. On a good day, Chelsea Handler thoroughly entertains me. On a bad day, her disgusting jokes make me too uncomfortable to listen. While some of the language and jokes were a little too crude for my taste, overall, it was an entertaining read. Take it to the beach and read it under the umbrella. You might even learn something about screwing with people in the process.
Shame on me, I didn't realize that this book was not written by Chelsea Handler until I picked it up from the library.
Definitely not as good as the ones Chelsea writes herself. Instead, each chapter was written by a friend or associate who at some time or another has been pranked by Chelsea. It wasn't a laugh out loud book for me but I was impressed by the sheer number of pranks that she plays and the lengths that she will go to for the pranks. Some of them are downright mean (albeit humorous)....more
Definitely not as good as the ones Chelsea writes herself. Instead, each chapter was written by a friend or associate who at some time or another has been pranked by Chelsea. It wasn't a laugh out loud book for me but I was impressed by the sheer number of pranks that she plays and the lengths that she will go to for the pranks. Some of them are downright mean (albeit humorous)....more
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| Aiossa's Senior 5...: Book Review #4 Allison Osborne | 1 | 3 | Dec 18, 2012 07:29pm |
Chelsea Handler has become one of entertainment’s most sought after and versatile rising stars. In July 2007, Chelsea broke into the world of late-night talk shows with her E! Entertainment series, “Chelsea Lately,” airing weeknights at 11:00 p.m. Consistently the network’s highest-rated program, “Chelsea Lately” offers a tongue-in-cheek look at entertainment news, celebrity truths and rumors that...more
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“Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.”
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Sep 18, 2012 12:59pm