Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It” as Want to Read:
The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating

The Emotionally Destructive Relationship: Seeing It, Stopping It, Surviving It

4.42 of 5 stars 4.42  ·  rating details  ·  111 ratings  ·  18 reviews
Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructi ...more
ebook, 256 pages
Published August 1st 2007 by Harvest House Publishers
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about The Emotionally Destructive Relationship, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about The Emotionally Destructive Relationship

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 259)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
Brandon Halvorsen
This is a great book if you're not clear on the definition of emotional abuse, or if you are in a toxic relationship and feel stuck and don't know what to do. It's also informative on how you can work on your "issues" as well as working on your relationship with an abusive person. Leslie Vernick has a lot of Biblically based, practical advice on the subject. It really opened my eyes to somethings and encouraged me to continue to take responsibility for my soul and life. One quote I particularly ...more
Debbie
I just finished reading Leslie's book and all I can say is that she has such insight and wisdom. I have a family member who abused me. I cut off the relationship over a decade ago; however, the person continues to cause me grief because she uses other people to get to me. It has been a rough road, but I have grown tremendously because of it. This book shows you what an emotionally destructive relationship looks like and how to deal with it. The advice is Biblical and practical. What I found inte ...more
Chuck
One of the most tragic recommendations I make as a Biblical counselor is for someone to read this book. That recommendation means that after discussing their situation, I believe that two Christians aren't living as disciples of Christ; that they have failed to show the world how we are to love another (John 13:34-35). So for this reason, it is one of the most important resources for pastors and counselors to be familiar with and to recommend in their counseling and discipleship of others.
Lainy
Jul 11, 2011 Lainy is currently reading it  ·  review of another edition
I came to a particular part in this book a few days ago and stopped. I haven't picked it up since. I am in a place I must face and it is very difficult for me, but this is something I must do. I know this. So, I am picking the book back up tonight and moving foward. This book is a must for anyone and everyone looking to get into, having problems in, or trying to understand different types, of relationships.
Relationships in:
Family (Parents / Kids)
Marriage
Friends
Self
Karen
There was one person in my life who seemed set on destroying me, at least emotionally. I've never met anyone like this person. I thought the problem was all me. While I am part of the problem, having someone bent on stirring up and causing trouble in my life is not something I was ready for. I've also gotten alot of flack for not doing whatever to keep this from happening, to keep the peace, etc. I don't think they saw what I saw, there was no way to stop it without totally disengaging, and now ...more
Beth
I read this book because of a difficult relationship someone I know is in, but I found some helpful advice for my own relationships as well. It gives biblical and practical advice to help you recognize destructive habits of communication in your relationships and what you can do about them. The most helpful advice, in my opinion, was the fact that while you have no control over the behavior of others, you DO have control over your own behavior and reactions. Vernick helps you learn to set bounda ...more
Teresa
Difficult to read, to think and pray on, and to come face to face with. Having said that, I think there is much to be gained from Vernick's approach, advice, insight and instruction.

What I particularly like (and loathe) is the focus on MY contribution(s) to these difficult relationships and how I can improve my inner life as well as with other people.

Hard as heck to put into action sometimes, but well worth the effort! Now that I'm done and have spent a couple of weeks consciously applying Verni
...more
Heather
Jan 24, 2008 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: counselors and those trapped in destructive relationships -- marriage or family or friendship
Shelves: counseling
Excellent book to help in counseling those entangled in abusive relationships at any level. Presents a good blend of pragmatic steps to be taken and theological/relational truth . I am considering using it for a support group.
Shauna Durbin
Everyone should read this book at some point in their adult life. This book opened my eyes to the destructive relationship and what a powerful effect it can have on a person's life. I bought this book after listening to Leslie speak on a Focus on the Family broadcast. Her words of wisdom and compassion really compelled me to read her book. The title really says it all. The book, "The Emotionally Destructive Relationship" is truly about seeing the bad relationship, stopping it, and surviving it. ...more
Jackie Bolen
This is an amazing book. Every counselor, pastor and friend of someone who has been in an emotionally destructive relationship as well as every individual who has been or is in an emotionally destructive relationship should ready this book. I wish I had known about it earlier in my experiences. I look forward to deepening my relationship with God through the suggested activities as well as pushing myself further to heal completely. Thank you Leslie for being brave enough to write about this subj ...more
Pamela
This is one of those books that for me was life changing! Leslie helps women who find themselves in destructive relaionships to recognize and acknowledge the truth of their situation, understand how they are contributing to the problem and then she offers practical suggestions for making changes to help stop the destruction that will ultimately bring healing to the relationship.
Heather Hampton
This book is all about healthy relationships and the importace of keeping all of our relationships healthy. It is written with a Godly, Biblical perspective and highlights not only the importance of keeping our relationships healthy for our own well being but also for our relationships with God and others.
Staci
This books fills a needed void and brings to light some things that most Christians don't want to think about. Vernick has given a great resource both for those in an emotionally destructive relationship and those who want to help them.
Joellen
This book is for everyone! Very informative in the dynamics of interpersonal relationships.
This would be a good group study book for teen agers to help prevent teenage abuse.
Anita Agers-brooks
Very good read -- enjoyed the author's insights immensely.
Debi
One of the best books I have ever read.
Holly
Profound. Puts perspective on things.
Denise
Denise marked it as to-read
Dec 17, 2014
Nav
Nav marked it as to-read
Dec 08, 2014
Jonida
Jonida added it
Nov 25, 2014
Grace Hejnal
Grace Hejnal marked it as to-read
Nov 15, 2014
Sharon Tam
Sharon Tam marked it as to-read
Nov 14, 2014
Trisha
Trisha marked it as to-read
Nov 11, 2014
Trisha
Trisha marked it as to-read
Sep 26, 2014
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Beyond Boundaries: How To Know When It's Time To Risk Again
  • Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
  • The Fantasy Fallacy: Exposing the Deeper Meaning Behind Sexual Thoughts
  • Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day
  • Foolproofing Your Life: Wisdom for Untangling Your Most Difficult Relationships
  • Why You Do the Things You Do: The Secret to Healthy Relationships
  • The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
  • The Sacred Search: What If It's Not about Who You Marry, But Why?
  • Total Forgiveness
  • Struggle for Intimacy
  • Relationships: A Mess Worth Making
  • Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse
  • Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough
  • Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved
  • Four Pillars of a Man's Heart: Bringing Strength into Balance
  • Friendship for Grownups
  • Forgive and Forget
  • Healing Is a Choice: 10 Decisions That Will Transform Your Life and 10 Lies That Can Prevent You from Making Them
How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong (Indispensable Guides for Godly Living) The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope The Emotionally Destructive Relationship Lord, I Just Want to Be Happy How to Find Selfless Joy in a Me-First World

Share This Book

“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” 27 likes
More quotes…