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Becoming sage (The Keyhole #1)

by Kasi Alexander (Goodreads Author)

3.57 of 5 stars 3.57 · rating details · 151 ratings · 43 reviews

With a failed marriage behind her, Jill Marten was looking to start a new chapter in her life. She had no idea that running into her old friend, Jessie, would unlock a whole new world. When she accepts Jessie's invitation to a party, in order to "try something completely different," it awakens a need to discover her place in a new community. Jessie, also known as sunni, is...more

Paperback, 236 pages

Published April 19th 2011 by Omnific Publishing (first published April 11th 2011)

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Jan 15, 2012 Carol *Young at Heart Oldie* rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 5-star-books

When I was given the opportunity to read Kasi Alexander's BECOMING SAGE, her first book in The Keyhole series, I had no idea what to expect because this was my first venture into the world of BDSM and polyamory. What I discovered was an engrossing book I just couldn't put down!

I was struck by how real the characters felt and all the time I had to keep reminding myself that these were only fictional people. Knowing that the author actually lives this alternative lifestyle, I'm sure there must be...more When I was given the opportunity to read Kasi Alexander's BECOMING SAGE, her first book in The Keyhole series, I had no idea what to expect because this was my first venture into the world of BDSM and polyamory. What I discovered was an engrossing book I just couldn't put down!

I was struck by how real the characters felt and all the time I had to keep reminding myself that these were only fictional people. Knowing that the author actually lives this alternative lifestyle, I'm sure there must be some autobiographical aspects to the book, which give it such realism. Everything is seen through Jill's eyes and I think this helped me to really connect with her and experience everything with her on her journey to find 'her place in the world'.

What I found really interesting was the complexity of the relationship between Sir (Rutger), sunni (Jessie) and sage (Jill) particularly as it combined both polyamory and BDSM. I accepted the idea that some people may be more suited to a polyamorous relationship rather than the traditional two-person monogamous one but having been in a happy 'vanilla' relationship for nearly forty years, I had a hard job accepting the power exchange aspect. However, seeing things as Jill saw them, I came to understand its appeal for certain people:

I was beginning to see what attracted Jessie to the idea of belonging to someone like him (Sir). It was kind of like being a child again and having a big, strong daddy whose lap you could crawl on to, but I didn't feel like I was giving up any part of being an adult, either. Jessie had said that being a slave didn't entail giving up responsibility for yourself; it just meant that you could feel completely comfortable in knowing what things you were responsible for and what you could expect in return.

I also learned how important trust, commitment and honest communication were when sunni's jealousy threatens their whole relationship.

I admit to feeling uncomfortable when I read some of BDSM related scenes in the book but I did appreciate the honesty with which they were written and the way in which, through her characters, Kasi Alexander explains the significance of the different types of play and the nature of the pleasure derived. For instance, in the wax play scene, Sir explains to sage that what he is doing is not intended to cause sunni pain but intense sensual stimulation. It was a fascinating insight into a very different world.

If you are new to the BDSM romantic genre as I was, then this is an excellent introduction and a book I can highly recommend. I would like to thank Kasi Alexander for allowing me to take a peek through the keyhole. It was both an intensely emotional and enlightening experience and I look forward to reading further books in The Keyhole series. I would probably like to read more books within this genre but I fear BECOMING SAGE will be a hard act to follow!

http://erotic.theromancereviews.com/v...

This review was originally written for The Romance Reviews (TRR)(less)

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Aug 09, 2011 Belinda Boring rated it 5 of 5 stars

I find myself a little speechless and in awe. I can't begin to tell you how excited I was to find this book at RomCon this past weekend and for the chance I had to meet Kasi and her partners. My journey in the romance genre has full of wonderful discoveries and even though it scared me at first, I've found I really enjoy some of the BDSM novels that are out there. Nothing excites me more than to learn something new and watch an old opinion be firmly booted out the door. As much as I love reading...more I find myself a little speechless and in awe. I can't begin to tell you how excited I was to find this book at RomCon this past weekend and for the chance I had to meet Kasi and her partners. My journey in the romance genre has full of wonderful discoveries and even though it scared me at first, I've found I really enjoy some of the BDSM novels that are out there. Nothing excites me more than to learn something new and watch an old opinion be firmly booted out the door. As much as I love reading romance filled with dashing heroes sporting six pack abs and flowing hair, something has to be said for the power that comes from reading a romance straight from every day life and seeing it transform a relationship. While Becoming sage isn't necessarily the "typical" romance, it definitely is a moving story, one that gripped me so tightly that I went willingly with Jill as she explored her new life, feeling everything right along side her.

One of the things that most impressed me with this story was that I loved the way Jill thought. Written from her point of view, I loved being able to watch how she processed everything and how she reasoned things out. I can only imagine how strange everything must have seemed, going from one lifestyle to another that was very different but I wanted to cheer over the way she embraced it. She knew the Master/slave lifestyle intrigued her but she still asked questions - insightful ones that really gave the reader the opportunity to learn along with her. It was sometimes spooky how I would think of something only to have her question it in the story. I loved how the answers were shared - so simple and straight forward to the point where I found myself agreeing with her. By the end of the story, I appreciated sage and was so grateful for being able to ride along.

This is the first book by author Kasi Alexander and if I could I would want to thank her for writing this book. Not only was it a great story, one that tugged at me constantly, but it was incredibly informative. How many times can you honestly say you've been privy to the inside workings of someone elses relationship? Other than my own, I know I haven't and I loved being able to witness the dynamics of sage, sunni's and Sir's as they negotiated theirs. There was nothing "glamorous" and "fluffy" about it. No swoon moment - just real emotions and reactions and it was intense at times. I think a general misconception is that BDSM is nothing more than deviant sex and abuse of power. This book shows that while the sexual nature of the lifestyle is definitely an important component, there is so much more. It's about trust, commitment and a willingness to communicate so that not only you get what you need but so does your partner. What made this story even more intriguing was including polyamory to it and watching three people navigate the relationship. It looked like a lot of work but judging by sage's reactions, one that was very worth it.

Being that the story involved BDSM, the author did share alot of the different play that is involved. I hadn't known how extensive it was and I loved how she explained through sage why things were done and the significance. I enjoyed learning how pain could be transferred into pleasure and read what it felt like. There was definitely a few things that raised my eye brows but again, I loved how "real" the book was. This would be a great book for those interested in the lifestyle, for those like me with a healthy curiosity because it holds a strong balance between all aspects - the psychology behind BDSM and the emotions attached to it.

After all is said and done, I'm just really grateful that I was given a chance to read Becoming sage. It's one of those books that makes a lasting impression, one that has had me thinking ever since I read the first page and feeling completely inadequate because I still feel like I haven't. I'm excited to know that this is the first in a series and I'm curious to see what aspect Kasi will explore next. This is an amazing debut novel by the author and I encourage all those with an open mind to read Becoming sage. It's a story that will move you and keep you up all night reading. Happy reading!!
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May 06, 2011 happyinblue rated it 4 of 5 stars

Becoming sage by kasi Alexander is about a woman who is new to bdsm and gets involved in a dynamic with a Master and His slave. It becomes a polyamorous situation and the story is erotic and we get a lot of insight into the main character. i also found the Master in the book more likeable than the fantasy heroes i have read about in the past. What i loved the most about this book is that it wasn’t about a bratty heroine put over Sir or Daddy’s knee for a spank, the book is about earning your Mas...more Becoming sage by kasi Alexander is about a woman who is new to bdsm and gets involved in a dynamic with a Master and His slave. It becomes a polyamorous situation and the story is erotic and we get a lot of insight into the main character. i also found the Master in the book more likeable than the fantasy heroes i have read about in the past. What i loved the most about this book is that it wasn’t about a bratty heroine put over Sir or Daddy’s knee for a spank, the book is about earning your Master’s trust, and giving Him all the things He wants and needs because He gives you so much. The other female character in the dynamic had me going from okay i like her to oh isn't she darling *sarcastic* But she’s not a theatrical villain, she like all of us are works in progress, evolving, finding out who she truly is, and expresses herself differently to the other female who is the more introverted. Later on in the book as she discovers herself, finds out the reasons for her actions, so do we. In some books, it would have been made a conclusion that all dynamics needs opposites, differences in personalities, that one female should be one type and the other should be the other type, this story is more mature than that. It made me happy and after reading many books, some also categorised as alternative, i found Becoming Sage worthwhile and it’s a keeper.

Since reading this book i am more interested in alternate type of romance or alt erotica as well as reading more of kasi’s books, whether they are more traditional than this one, i know i will be reading a good book, easy to get into, dialogue flows wonderfully well, the story has depth and above all,i will read something honest and real. i write a little myself and that’s part of why i started, i was reading things that are too much about the fantasy, the fairytale is not broad enough for my liking and yes whilst i know fiction is indeed as quoted many times, “FICTION!!” everyone has a right to create and read something that is true to what they believe in. i’m far from cynical and enjoy the odd mills and boon romance but I value books like kasi’s.

i recommend this book and give it 4 and a half out of 5. Why not 5? i’m tough!(less)

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Apr 18, 2011 Jessica McQuinn rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was lucky enough to be probably one of the first people outside of her circle of critique partners to read debut author, kasi Alexander’s Becoming sage, and got a new and different perspective of the BDSM and poly lifestyles. I was fascinated and enamored by this book.

One of the things that I really loved about this story is that it is told in first person from Jill’s point of view. So, the reader has complete access to her thought process as she makes new discoveries about herself and what sh...more

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Jul 07, 2011 Sassafrass rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: the-romance-reviews, bdsm, 2011

Full review coming soon but I just wanted to jot down a few things while it's fresh.

I wish we could do half stars because i would rate this a 4.5 not just a 4. I thought it was just about perfect. This was so incredibly informative, I thought that it would be a great read for those who were curious about the lifestyle, those who read a lot of "fictional" accounts of it, and also those who were actually living the lifestyle.

Very realistic accounts of dealing with a poly relationship as well as th...more

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Jun 04, 2012 Robin DeJarnett rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, my-print-books

Even though I'd heard great things about this book, it took me a long time to pick it up and dig in. Maybe I was nervous about the BDSM angle - it's not my first pick when it comes to genres - or maybe it was the Master/slave aspect, or the triad nature of sage's family. But I finally cracked the binding, and am now wondering why it took so long!

Yes, the overriding element in the book is, to use one of the author's descriptions, the kink lifestyle. But at its core, Becoming sage is about relatio...more

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May 13, 2012 Julia rated it 5 of 5 stars

I must admit I was a bit skeptical about reading Becoming Sage but when Kasi Alexander took the time to email me and offer me support for my own project it gave me that extra push to stop what I was reading at the time and open up my iPad where becoming sage had been sitting for weeks. I couldn't put it down! Now I regret not reading it sooner and cannot wait to read the second installment. Becoming Sage took me to a whole new world a work that I knew about but did not quite understand, I found...more

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Mar 17, 2012 Kiwi rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: erotica

This is the worst book I have read this year.*

I found this book mind-numbingly boring and poorly written. I would guess the book is 80% narrative, much of which is repeated, and poorly structured.

The book focuses on slaves Sunni and Sage, and their master Sir Rune. Sage is recently divorced, and her friend Sunni convinces her to come to a BDSM club and see if it’s something she could be interested in.

She decides she does want to give it a go, and is further convinced to try a polyamory relations...more

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Oct 13, 2011 Krishna rated it 4 of 5 stars

'Becoming Sage' by Ms. Kasi Alexander is definitely one of my most unique reads. It was different and it would definitely give the reader a more realistic insight to BDSM. As most of us know, Ms Kasi Alexander is involved in BDSM lifestyle and this is probably why this book became much more intriguing and interesting because as a reader I know what I'm reading has a touch of reality.

I read 'Becoming Sage' in small doses because it was too intense.The three main characters in the story became mor...more 'Becoming Sage' by Ms. Kasi Alexander is definitely one of my most unique reads. It was different and it would definitely give the reader a more realistic insight to BDSM. As most of us know, Ms Kasi Alexander is involved in BDSM lifestyle and this is probably why this book became much more intriguing and interesting because as a reader I know what I'm reading has a touch of reality.

I read 'Becoming Sage' in small doses because it was too intense.The three main characters in the story became more real to me because of the conflicting emotions they showed and felt. The complexity of their relationship was interesting. As I read along I saw the progress and falling and then the progress again of the relationship. At times it was hard to read, but I kept going because I wanna know how they resolve their issues.

You know, I've got to be honest and say that I couldn't decide whether I liked the characters or not. I guess, one could say that I have mixed emotions about them. Sage or Jill, is sometimes hard to like and that makes her more believable because the author didn't make her the perfect heroine. She has these very normal imperfections and her doubts and bitter feelings. Reading what she goes through as a third in the relationship is at times enlightening and other times just plain frustrating. Sunni, I admit that I liked her more than I did Sage. She's more fun, I guess. And I get Sunni more than I did Sage. While, Sir Rune... at first I just wanna go in the book and hit him because I didn't understand why he couldn't just give Sunni and Sage the affection they wanted, but later I came to understand his reasons. Plus, he was sweeter and more fun at the end of the book.

This book is absolutely a must read, if one is looking for a more realistic view of BDSM. I'm not gonna say that I agree with everything that was written in the book. There are some that I do agree with and there are some that I don't. And I guess that's what this is all about, seeing things in another person's perspective.

This book is not your typical romance, in fact there is little romance included in the book, but what I could definitely say is that, the book is simply about life and choices and how one lived with the choices she/he made. I really liked how Ms. Kasi Alexander wrote this book in a very honest way and without glossing over the details that would make some uncomfortable.

Two thumbs up to Ms. Kasi Alexander for writing a fiction that could bring a reader to a different reality from what most of us live in.

Also posted in my blog
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Sep 26, 2011 Linda rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is probably one of the only books of this kind I've read that rivals "The Story of O". A fascinating and surprisingly well written account of three people living together for the purpose of acting out a specific sexual lifestyle they all find fulfilling. I would recommend this book to people with a purient interest in human sexual behavior. Alexander does a very good job of delving into some of the psychological conflicts that adjustment to and choices about this lifestyle involves. I was l...more

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May 17, 2011 Traci rated it 5 of 5 stars

The most interesting thing about this book, for me, was that the minute I thought something, or had questions and concerns, "sage" would voice those same issues. I maybe don't "live the lifestyle" the way the author does, but I have adequate access to the internet so nothing is too terribly shocking to me. That said, this seems to be a very true depiction of a previously "vanilla" person being introduced to an entirely new life. So when something would happen and I would think, "They did whaaaaa...more

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Dec 18, 2011 Anino rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bdsm, erotica

My own prejudices aside, this was a good book. As I read this book, I saw another facet of the BDSM lifestyle. Fairly decent character development with a good storyline.. This book wasn't all about sex, but it told the story of how a vanilla sex-lovin' woman became seduced by her friend and her Dom. Just like the cover, the woman had 1 little kink/keyhole that allowed these people access into her heart, mind, body, and soul. Which begs the question, how does one become so enslaved that they lose...more

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Jun 16, 2011 I ♥ Bookie Nookie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: genre-bdsm, theme-menage, sub-theme-bondage, sub-theme-domination-submission, sub-theme-master-slave, sub-theme-spanking, z-borrowed, zz-reviewed, 2011-read-in, tone-erotic, a-series

As I was reading this book, I was thinking it had a different tone or point of view and even now, I can't exactly put my finger on what in the content made it different. After reading the "author bio" at the end and learning that the author, Kasi Alexander is in a poly relationship and practices D/s, M/s in her relationship, it made me think: maybe that was the difference.

I wouldn't say this was necessarily a "dark" read, but it definitely wasn't fluffy! The story that unfolded described much o...more

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Jun 17, 2011 Paula Patience rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: goodreads

First off, let me assure you that the cover is exasperatingly misleading. At least, to me it looks like the gateway to all sorts of salacious sexcapades. Couldn't be farther from the truth. Don't get me wrong, sex is mentioned, but the novel is a well-written 1st-person narrative of one woman's journey into discovering what she wants and needs out of life. And it just so happens that the lifestyle she finds to be the best fit for her mixes a polyamory approach to partners with a M(aster)/s(lave)...more First off, let me assure you that the cover is exasperatingly misleading. At least, to me it looks like the gateway to all sorts of salacious sexcapades. Couldn't be farther from the truth. Don't get me wrong, sex is mentioned, but the novel is a well-written 1st-person narrative of one woman's journey into discovering what she wants and needs out of life. And it just so happens that the lifestyle she finds to be the best fit for her mixes a polyamory approach to partners with a M(aster)/s(lave) approach to fulfillment.

If you're at all curious about alternative lifestyles or sexual practices, the book is a wonderful introduction to some of them and the various degrees to which they can be incorporated into a relationship. Mechanics are mentioned (e.g., how someone is spanked), but where the author shines is introducing the philosophy behind the activity (e.g., experiencing pain as a way to promote a meditative state), some of the reasons people are drawn to it, and the education that can make it a successful experience (e.g., classes in pain management techniques). Even if you're not considering a change in your own life, or sexual practices, the insights offered are fascinating. The book presents the most positive aspects of lifestyles not readily accepted into the mainstream population.

My only cons to the book reflect my personal taste rather than the author's skill. I wish more attention had been given to the long-term considerations of a polyamorous relationship (e.g., financial) instead of the one or two passing references. It seemed to me a divorced woman in her 30's would be more concerned with the long-term significance of a relationship. But that's being picky, and really, the book had enough story elements as it was. And the only other con (again, a personal preference) was I never found myself liking (or disliking, for that matter) any of the characters. Really, for me, the characters were secondary; it was the heroine's insights and realizations that pulled me along rather than a desire to see her happy ending. But that emotional distance is the reason I didn't give the book 4 stars. I like to fall in love with my characters. Maybe the next book in the series!

I received the book as part of a GoodReads First Reads giveaway.(less)

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Feb 15, 2012 The TBR Pile *Book review site* rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

Enter contest here: http://thetbrpile.weebly.com/1/post/2...

Wow was the first word that came to mind when I sat down to review this amazing story. If you’ve ever wondered what goes in a Dom/Sub relationship or craved a glimpse into the inner workings of BDSM this is “The” book for you. Becoming Sage, is an in depth look at one woman’s journey from a single divorcee to a slave, active in the BDSM community. Her discoveries are so much more than sexual, and the tale becomes more of an experience,...more

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Jul 27, 2012 D.J. Westerfield rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was given the opportunity to read this book quite a while ago, shortly after I met the author. I was a bit wary at first, because I knew nothing of the Polyamorous life style and little of BDSM. I was pleasantly surprised to find the book was done in such a way to explain and introduce the two concepts to those of us who had never contemplated them. It is a well-written, fascinating story with a touch of realism that gives a glimpse into lifestyles many of us would know nothing "real" about ot...more

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Feb 23, 2012 Jennifer (a.k.a The Book Nympho) added it

Shelves: nook, dnf

It’s hard for me to say that Becoming sage is a DNF for me. I just could not get into the story and relationship between the characters. It’s not a relaxation on the author’s writing. I did read about half of the book and the part I read was well written.

I received Alexander's Becoming sage as a review request and judging by the cover and snippet I thought that it would be a good match for my erotica month. And although I’ve read other BDSM and polyamory type books, Becoming sage is not like any...more

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Jun 06, 2011 Jennifer Lane rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: omnific-publishing

Jill has recently divorced. She’s depressed and tired of relationship dynamics in which both partners fight for dominance, neither knowing how to deliver what the other wants. Enter Jill’s friend Jessica, who is a submissive slave named sunni. sunni’s master, Rune, wants to invite Jill to be part of their threesome power dynamic. It’s a big risk for Jill to try out this novel experience, but then again she's been disappointed by traditional relationships. She joins the couple as Rune’s slave, le...more Jill has recently divorced. She’s depressed and tired of relationship dynamics in which both partners fight for dominance, neither knowing how to deliver what the other wants. Enter Jill’s friend Jessica, who is a submissive slave named sunni. sunni’s master, Rune, wants to invite Jill to be part of their threesome power dynamic. It’s a big risk for Jill to try out this novel experience, but then again she's been disappointed by traditional relationships. She joins the couple as Rune’s slave, learning a lot about herself in the process of becoming sage.

This was one of the first BDSM/polyamory stories I’ve read, and I thought Kasi Alexander did an incredible job of laying out the alternative lifestyle in such concrete, understandable terms. The writing was so easy and honest that I had trouble putting the book down. It felt like peeking into sage’s journal (or peeking through the apartment door keyhole), with all of the appropriate self-doubt and angst.

Because I’m not an experienced reader of this lifestyle, I have many questions. The page numbers I reference for each quote are for the epub version.

1. It struck me for the first time how there’s a similarity between BDSM and homosexuality. Both can be considered an orientation that’s feared and misunderstood. “…the orientation made a lot of sense: some people enjoyed the stimulation of pain and were able to convert pain into endorphins and sometimes into an altered state of consciousness.” (p. 30). How do people in the BDSM community compare themselves to people in the LGBT community? Do folks in the BDSM community view their orientation as largely genetic or biological, like many in the gay community do? And another question based on the quote: How does “knife play” differ from self-injury like cutting?

2. “It’s the people who are afraid that they have no control of their lives who cannot allow themselves to submit to other people.” (p. 38). Hmm. I don’t really agree with this judgment. Is sunni saying that those who don’t want to be part of this lifestyle are afraid they have no control of their lives?

3. “The difference between submission and slavery was starting to become very clear to me.” (p. 105). Unfortunately the differences between the two are still a bit fuzzy for me. What are the differences?

4. “Before I came here, I had spent a lot of time by myself, and I had thought I missed it, but now it just felt lonely. I missed having Sir and sunni to point out interesting or funny things to. I just wasn’t used to being alone anymore.” (p. 111). This made me feel a little uncomfortable, like sage is becoming dependent on her partners. As a psychologist I’m constantly trying to help women speak their voice and take care of their own needs—-to like themselves more and learn to cope with the human condition (including loneliness) effectively. I guess if sage is choosing to be with her new family all the time then there’s nothing wrong with that, but something about it makes me uneasy. What’s the risk of dependency in BDSM compared to vanilla relationships? When BDSM partners split up, how well does the submissive or slave land on his/her feet?

5. “I had never gotten along that well with my mother and two brothers, and never felt like I belonged…but now I actually felt like I had a family.” (p. 115). I felt sad for sage that she didn’t get along with her biological family, but happy for her that she created her own family. I wonder if some of sage’s insecurity emanates from her unsatisfactory family relationships. They say psychologists often come from troubled backgrounds and we get into the field to try to heal ourselves (and it sounds like sage might be entering the counseling field—-maybe that’s why I identified so well with her.) Are BDSM partners more likely to come from troubled backgrounds as well?

5. “The reason I liked our relationship style was simply because I didn’t have to argue, or worry about getting my way to prove that I was a strong person; the fact that I could allow him to be in charge actually made me feel stronger than if I was making all the decisions and all the plans. It was very freeing. It was like we were combining our strength rather than trying to overpower each other.” (p. 122). I thought this was an excellent summary of sage’s attraction to this lifestyle, and I find the idea rather fascinating. Does Sir tend to find the relationship freeing as well? It seems like it would be a lot of pressure on the Dom.

I really enjoyed sage’s astute questions, as well as the relationship drama. I thought sage was inordinately patient with sunni, who is so immature and annoying she actually made me cheer for Sir getting out the paddle to use on her. But how cool that this story is not only about sage’s character development, but also sunni’s. (Sir Rune’s too?) It was a fun, satisfying ending and I definitely want to read the next installment in The Keyhole Series. Great job, Kasi!
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Kasi Alexander Question #4: “Before I came here, I had spent a lot of time by myself, and I had thought I missed it, but now it just felt lonely. I missed having Sir...more Question #4: “Before I came here, I had spent a lot of time by myself, and I had thought I missed it, but now it just felt lonely. I missed having Sir and sunni to point out interesting or funny things to. I just wasn’t used to being alone anymore.” (p. 111). This made me feel a little uncomfortable, like sage is becoming dependent on her partners. As a psychologist I’m constantly trying to help women speak their voice and take care of their own needs—-to like themselves more and learn to cope with the human condition (including loneliness) effectively. I guess if sage is choosing to be with her new family all the time then there’s nothing wrong with that, but something about it makes me uneasy. What’s the risk of dependency in BDSM compared to vanilla relationships? When BDSM partners split up, how well does the submissive or slave land on his/her feet?

I'm not quite sure how to answer that. I am guessing that the risk of dependency is not too different from vanilla relationships - if a person has a tendency to be dependent, it probably won't matter too much if you're in a D/s or a vanilla situation. I think many submissives are naturally fairly strong people who either like the structure of D/s and M/s (like I do) or like being able to give up control in certain situations, or at least under negotiated conditions. From my observations, it seems that many people go into BDSM or poly situations (especially poly) with the expectation of change. They know what they want and they don't settle down with the first person willing to have them. To get the life you desire you have to work through a lot of stuff that you don't, and that usually means a fair amount of change. For people who have grown up with the value of "I'll meet that one person and we'll be happy together forever" or even "Divorce is bad so we'll stick together no matter what," this probably seems like an unhealthy dynamic. I'm curious to hear the perspective of a psychologist, especially one who is focused on helping women learn to take care of themselves. Personally I think divorce can be a very good thing, as can being alone sometimes. I think there is great value in relationships, and also in "sticking it out" to work through the various issues of long-term relationships, but I don't see any value in hanging on to a relationship just for its own sake if you've outgrown each other or are not meeting each other's needs anymore.

In sage's case, I mostly wanted to emphasize the difference between being used to being alone most of the time and how you can get used to being part of a group. I don't think I've ever met a submissive who was so dependent on her Master or her family that she wouldn't be able to function alone. There probably are people like that, but I doubt it's a higher percentage than in the vanilla world. To actually go out and find a leather family takes a certain amount of backbone to begin with. It's not a lifestyle that appeals to cowards and weak people, as a rule.(less)
Jun 24, 2011 01:04pm

Kasi Alexander “'The reason I liked our relationship style was simply because I didn’t have to argue, or worry about getting my way to prove that I was a strong pers...more
Jul 25, 2011 02:56pm

Mar 13, 2011 Reggie Alexander rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Anyone with an open mind in search of a compelling story

Recommended to Reggie by: Kasi Alexander

I have been fortunate enough to read this already and it is a fantastic and realistic story. For those of us who live the lifestyle it is refreshing to see a story that portray's power exchange and polyamourous relationships in a positive light while still showing many of the common obsticals which people must address and overcome when exploring these relationships. It will be an educational and eye opening read for those new to these lifesyles. I highly recommend this book to one and all.

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Jun 02, 2011 Marijee rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Jill's journey to becoming sage was an quite a tale...one that doesn't seem to be over. I felt I was on this journey with Jill to find her way in polyamory. There is a lot of soul searching, denial and discovery for this character. I liked how the author really delved into sage's psyche and how this character was learning to live with more than one partner. I found Becoming sage fascinating and the whole story kept me engrossed.

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Jun 23, 2012 John rated it 5 of 5 stars

Rutger and Jessie are softly introducing her friend Jill to being a slave. What most amazed me was, that Jessie says she met her Owner at Fetlife.com which is a bdsm social website and then they mention the Keyhole bar, which is a bar in Secondlife.com. The cover of the book is a keyhole too.

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Apr 17, 2013 Elizabeth Ann rated it 5 of 5 stars

I really liked this series. It's told from someone who actually experiences what they do in the book. And I have a lot of respect for the person because of it. It's a great story. Sure, unconventional, but I loved every second of it

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Dec 23, 2011 Estelle rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: kindle

This book is exactly the type of thoughtful romance/erotica that I like to read. The book examines with sensitivity and clear real life experience a woman delving into a polyamorous and kinky relationship for the first time. The characters suffer from realistic anxieties and jealousy, deal (at least a tiny bit) with outside family and friends, and make realistic decisions about how to behave. While I would have liked even more details about how the participants were going to handle routine matte...more

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Apr 27, 2011 Liz Michel rated it 5 of 5 stars

Such a realistic view of coming into the lifestyle. I loved the emotion and love that went into this book.

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Apr 19, 2011 Lynne marked it as to-read

Thank you so much for letting me win this free book from First Reads. Looking forward to reading it. Thank you.

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Aug 03, 2012 Monica Robinson rated it 2 of 5 stars

I did not like this book. The storyline fell short and rushed and didn't have much depth.

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Nov 22, 2011 Sara rated it 3 of 5 stars Recommends it for: someone considering a real-life poly/bdsm relationship

Shelves: menage, bdsm, contemporary

A little preachy, but a very thought provoking look at the dynamics of a real-life (if fictional) fMf M/s relationship.

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Jul 17, 2012 April Gonzales-wright rated it 3 of 5 stars

Wow! Very interesting to say the least. Not my style at all. It is exactly as the back cover explains. I have definitely learned a lot from reading this book!

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May 16, 2011 Lotta rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, alternative-romance, poly

Actually, somewhere between 3.5 and 4. I liked how real I felt the persons in the story were. Not really a romance, more a book on human relations.
I really liked the playfulness of the last 'scene'!

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Aug 06, 2012 Kelley rated it 3 of 5 stars

A little too much BDSM for my taste, but I am sure would be fine for others.

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Romance

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About Kasi Alexander

I grew up a fanatic about books, like everybody else on Goodreads. I've spent the last 30 years (1981-2011) getting my bachelor's degree in English Lit - why rush a good thing?? When I got involved in the polyamory and leather (BDSM) lifestyle, I decided that I wanted to write about it to let people know that it isn't the scary or abusive thing that some people think. My first book in The Keyhole...more

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Becoming sage (The Keyhole #1)

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