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I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance

3.61  ·  Rating Details  ·  17,212 Ratings  ·  744 Reviews
Joshua Harris's first book, written when he was only 21, turned the Christian singles scene upside down...and people are still talking. More than 800,000 copies later, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, with its inspiring call to sincere love, real purity, and purposeful singleness, remains the benchmark for books on Christian dating. Now, for the first time since its release, the n ...more
Paperback, 221 pages
Published April 2nd 2003 by Multnomah (first published May 1996)
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I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua HarrisBoy Meets Girl by Joshua HarrisPassion and Purity by Elisabeth ElliotBefore You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah MallyWhen God Writes Your Love Story by Eric Ludy
Best Christian Purity Books
1st out of 100 books — 125 voters
Do Hard Things by Alex  HarrisBefore You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah MallyMaking Brothers and Sisters Best Friends by Sarah MallyI Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua HarrisHeartless by Anne Elisabeth Stengl
Books by Homeschoolers
4th out of 273 books — 176 voters

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Sep 28, 2007 Adam rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
It's weird.

When I read this for the first and only time, I had just parted ways with a high school girlfriend. Our relationship had been the most intense I'd ever had, and while we were in it, we were both pretty positive that this was real and fervent love. She's now happily married to a great guy who isn't me, and I'm now happily married to an amazing woman who isn't her. I'm not proud of how it ended, but it needed to.

This book fell into the midst of that dynamic in my life, and it rocked me.
Mar 13, 2008 Allie rated it it was amazing
I am a 17 year old christian teenage girl who has lived her relationship life according to this book and has no regrets. I have healthy friendships with a lot of guys but--amazingly enough--not a single boyfriend. And my life has been just fine for it. Actually, my life has been great. The whole point of the book is that there is a season for everything: a season for investing in friendships, and a season for dating/courting for the purpose of marriage. This has worked just fine for all the peop ...more
Rock Rockwell
Oct 10, 2007 Rock Rockwell rated it really liked it
I actually kissed dating goodbye after I got married (except the infrequent times my wife and I can leave our kids at home and go out for a quick dinner). However, this book really is a challenge to teens and younger adults (college/young singles) to rethink their mindset of the 'dating' culture. Some will cringe in reading this ideology for the first time, but when contimplating how to protect your own holiness and the purity of others, it makes more sense. Accountability and NOT acting on feel ...more
Josh Meares
Jun 16, 2012 Josh Meares rated it did not like it
“Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye.
Dating: Isn't there a better way?
I Kissed Dating Goodbye suggests there is. Reorder your romantic life in the light of God's Word and find more fulfillment than a date could ever give – a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness.” That is the promise and the premise behind Joshua Harris' new book I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

Joshua Harris writes pretty well, and he makes several good points in this book. When he talks about God's view on
Feb 15, 2011 Laura rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: Everyone, esp. singles or people who are currently dating
Shelves: books-i-own
Absolutely brilliant!!!!!!! You may think from the title that he's gonna go, "Don't date. It's a sin." But that is not what he's doing. He gives a way to have Christ-centered relationship, and helps us see that our single years should be a gift from God, instead of a time to be constantly seeking a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. We can leave that in God's hands; right now, in our single years, we're to put our all into serving Him, when we can have undivided interests.

I know not everyone wi
Rat de bibliothèque
Jun 27, 2008 Rat de bibliothèque rated it really liked it
In this book Joshua Harris tells you to, as the title suggests, to kiss dating goodbye, suggesting that here is a better way to approach romance than simple "dating" could ever provide.

He urges you to ask yourself "what is your motivation in relationships, pleasing yourself or serving others?", "do you give yourself away physically or emotionally in ways you will regret when married?", and "does your current relationship hinder you from serving God as a single person?".

This book does not say th
Sep 29, 2007 Mark rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I read this book when I was a broken-hearted nineteen-year-old. At the time the idea of kissing dating goodbye and doing it in the name of God seemed like a grand idea. I think it was largely because I had no dates to kiss goodbye, so it gave me some noble reason to beyond the fact that girls didn't like me and the fact that despite my liking them I was terrified of them. I think Harris has some very valid points as best as I can remember, but they are a bit extreme and maybe even unrealistic. A ...more
Feb 15, 2008 Altovise rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-and-loved
I first heard of Josh Harris on a Christian radio station. I was driving and listening to him talk about the pitfalls of modern dating. I was so captivated by his message, that I sat in the car listening long after I arrived at my destination. I went and purchased this book the next day.

After the first chapter, I put it down. It was a lot to take in for an ex-feminist, control freak like me. I talked to my dad about it and decided to give the book a chance. My love life has never been the same.

Oct 28, 2012 Kacey rated it did not like it
Shelves: non-fiction
Coming from a happily married woman, I found this to be a stupid composition that follows a typical Christian formula of twisting Scripture to suit the point the author wants to make. "Purposeful singleness"? Common sense, rather than blowing up your every state of being into assuring yourself of your godliness, will get you further in my opinion. Only made a splash because it was written by a young, attractive male who claimed to have quit dating for good. Don't listen to me, though, read it fo ...more
Jun 10, 2011 Christopher rated it did not like it
Shelves: christian-living
I was forced to read this book by the female youth leader in a youth group I was a part of, along with all the other guys. Some of us kissed dating goodbye, others of us kissed youth group goodbye.
May 28, 2008 Katie rated it really liked it
The title of this book is different, which is why I picked it up in the first place. The book isn't so much about giving up dating as the title implies, it's more about not dating seriously until you are ready to get married, and to use the time gaining a strong relationships with good friends and especially with Heavenly Father. The author, Joshua Harris, really drives home the idea that singleness is not something to dread, but to realize it as a gift.

Apr 18, 2007 Sara rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone
This book was on the unpopular list, probably because people couldn't imagine life with restrictions on dating or whatever. I haven't read it in a while because my mom bought it and where she put it I don't know, but I love it, so there. I think everyone should read it and I think that the author was very brave to address such an issue.
Jun 28, 2012 DeeAnn rated it liked it
Interesting idea and understandable concepts if you are in high school and college. I really think that people could benefit from the idea. However, for those who are college aged and higher, it's method of finding a spouse I find to be an exercise in immaturity and for those who are not in a high-volume, high opportunity situation (like college is), you may find yourself incredibly lonely practicing these concepts.

I call it an exercise in immaturity because by avoiding dating altogether, you a
Jun 16, 2012 Robyn rated it did not like it
I thought the book title was preaching to the choir at & before the time I read it--I didn't care for the dating scene & still don't, but I like having some purpose to being single, rather than just accepting it as an accidental fate.

Josh Harris does a good job writing the book, & I feel bad that I didn't love it like so many people who reviewed it did.

It seemed odd that the premise of the book is "dating is stupid; but don't quit dating just b/c it's stupid, quit b/c there's somethi
Sep 23, 2010 Sunday rated it did not like it
Youth group/parent pressures when I was __ old.

This book is destructive, guilt-inducing, and out of line. It is a catastrophe of reinforcing immature concepts of dating and sex into teenagers. The principles of this book will, and have, led teenagers into hasty marriage plans with lifelong consequences. The author has the sexual prowess and world vision of a four-year-old.

Congratulations, Joshua Harris, an entire generation of teenagers growing in a youth group revival have been guilt-tripped
Sep 02, 2009 Brittany rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Anyone struggling with singleness or troublesome relationships
I've been having a really hard time interpretting what the Word states about relationships, sex before marraige, and dating. I, as a christian, feel its necessary not only to abide by the law of God, but to understand to gift of pleasure and love and why it is a godly experience if patience allows me to wait until marraige. Joshua Harris is a great author, very straight-forward and easy to understand. I highly recommend all of his books!
This book continues to be a great inspiration to me, and this is my second time reading it, the first being when I was newly christened a teenager. Joshua Harris has such a straightforward way of showing you why he believes Dating can lead people astray and how you can live above that lifestyle. Each chapter had me convinced that Joshua Harris was onto something golden, something that I wanted to be a part of, this whole non-dating revolution. And all this was years ago, when I first read and be ...more
Terri Lynn
Recently a Christian friend, knowing that we are Atheists, gave me some very weird books for my 19 year old daughter who is a single, Atheist student and was angry about the books. I read through them because their weirdness was so fascinating. I was aware of this book because we homeschool just as the Harris family did (Josh is a homeschool grad).

Yes, this is very weird. I have no problems with young people going out in groups but if someone thinks this will keep them from having sex, I have s
Aug 02, 2013 Jules rated it it was amazing
The Bible does not say, "THOU SHALT NOT DATE" but it does call us to holiness and to protect the purity of others. I got hooked by this book. As I read this, i felt i was vindicated. That by God's grace I am not the only person in this world who advocate something like this. Joshua shared his convictions with regards to dating – if he is not ready for intimacy, for marriage, he will not commit to be in a relationship with someone (even giving hints when there are times that he already got a pros ...more
I really didn't appreciate this book. I felt it did more to exacerbate the complicated terrain of navigating adolescence as a Christian than it helped. I could also go into the theological problems a book like this presents to evangelical America, but I won't bother.
Sep 03, 2012 Harman rated it it was ok
While the book is well-written and the ideas are well-expressed and thought out, Harris' theories just don't play well in a complex world filled with people. There is no set of rules or philosophies that one can apply to Christian premarital romance (nor any kind of romance, nor any kind of relationship, for that matter), and I believe that, unfortunately, Harris' ideas are a contribution to a philosophy that has caused much pain and cynicism in young single Christian circles (I can say this fro ...more
Jan 02, 2008 Darin rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Tania
Shelves: have-read
This book was amazing! For Christians who are truly serious about their relationship with God, this book provides inspiration and motivation to stop looking for love that fails, words that are sweet and void of meaning or truth. It speaks from the heart of a man who knows what he is talking about and although many will and have criticized this book, i believe if you read it with an open heart you will have to admit that his argument makes sense.
Truly, I am so into this book and his philisophy an
Victoria Arechiga
Apr 14, 2011 Victoria Arechiga rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: ALL AGES
Recommended to Victoria by: Matusalen Barcenas
I LOVED THIS BOOK! I had started reading this book when I entered into a relationship with my first boyfriend. (My dearest friend Matusalen Barcenas, had give me a copy of this book a few years back for Christmas, and I didnt find a need to read it until that moment)I read a few of its chapters then I put it away. After a 5 months of dating, we had to break up because some of our parents didnt agree that we should be dating if we weren't considering a long term goal that would be marriage. Even ...more
May 23, 2011 Holly rated it did not like it
I wanted to throw this book out of my car while driving at a neurotic speed. I rolled my eyes through the whole thing, and even now as im writing this review...
Seriously joshua harris?? I mean SERIOUSLY??
I read this whole book. Oh yes i did. And i could have said in two sentences what it took him 200 and something pages to write!
1. Women lock yourselves in the house, because you cant discern who to and not to date.
2. Put on a diaper and ask your daddy to start spoon feeding you again cause
Jan 02, 2011 Tiffany rated it did not like it
I'm a firm believer that there is no cookie-cutter way of dating. Everyone's story is different, yet, this book came off as if it is the ONLY way to do things. I'm not saying that the book is completely wrong, it brings up a few good points, but ultimately...I don't know that any book can tell you how to date or how to live.
Dec 02, 2008 Chris rated it it was amazing
I now view every woman as another mans future wife. I will treat every woman with respect. I am growing in my faith and becoming the future husband and father i was meant to be.
Kevin Rodriguez
Feb 05, 2016 Kevin Rodriguez rated it did not like it
This is a bit of a hard one to describe. The problems with books like these is that they tend to be extreme in their ideas and give so little room for compromise that things can easily come off as WAY too ultra-conservative! On the same hand there is a lot of truth to Harris's words. He points out the flaws in dating for the sake of dating, getting you to question why you want a relationship, and that making God your first love must come before your spouse (a true statement if ever I read one). ...more
Sep 06, 2011 Jocelynn rated it it was amazing
I read this book because I was absolutely aggravated with the male race. I had recently broken up with a man that was supposed to be my future husband (we were engaged) but turned out to be nothing more that a man-child who was more worried about himself then me. I was desperate to figure out what I had done wrong and how to fix it fast because I wasn't getting any younger!! But after reading this book, SURPRISE, God instead chose to take me on a deeper journey that has lead me down a path I nev ...more
Kierstyn Elisabeth
Jun 20, 2015 Kierstyn Elisabeth rated it did not like it
When I first read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, I wanted to like it. I desperately tried to enjoy it, understand it in entirety, and implement all of its concepts into my life. I could not do so. I have been raised Christian and have accepted the faith as my own these past few years. I am completely in love with Jesus Christ and I believe the Bible with all of my heart. My friend, who loaned me the book, adored it and uses it as the manual for her romantic life. My mother could not have been more p ...more
Potassium (AKA The Queen of Randomness & Wackiness)
When I first started reading this I thought it was a bit far fetched....but even so it has really good points that we as believers should take from it!!

We should try to follow the guide of this book and take our relationships seriously...make a friendship before you start "dating"...once u make the decision further down the track that u would like to court or date this it with the thought of marrying this person...I am of the mind, that u should never date as a game or for the sakes
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Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.
More about Joshua Harris...

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“When God knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, He'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.” 523 likes
“The right thing at the wrong tme is the wrong thing.” 361 likes
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