Rescue Me

Dec 01, 2012 Mandy*reads obsessively* added it · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, ebook-owned, dnf, jerk-mc, only-read-if-i-want-a-headache, abuse, doctor-nurse-emt, cry-me-a-river, hurt-comfort-disability, storage

I finally decided to move this one to dnf !
I tried, I picked it up a few times and each time got a little farther in but more and more aggravated and frustrated!
I seldom want to actually do something violent to an MC, but here the temptation just got to be to much for me, so in the interest of my sanity I'm moving it into storage and I will try and remember that I really shouldn't buy a book because I fell in love with the cover!

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Nov 25, 2010 Ami rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mm-romance-or-erotica

So here's the thing ... when you read ANY of Scarlet Blackwell's stories, you have to prepare for few things: (1) She has this ability to write such a prick characters, you want to bodily harm them (at the least) and kill them, probably (at the worst) ... (2) She also has push-and-pull "theme" between the two main guys (usually one is the determined and the other is the prick) that can get you frustrated ... and (3) She doesn't do sugary sweet saccharine; her stories are usually intense, raw, or...more So here's the thing ... when you read ANY of Scarlet Blackwell's stories, you have to prepare for few things: (1) She has this ability to write such a prick characters, you want to bodily harm them (at the least) and kill them, probably (at the worst) ... (2) She also has push-and-pull "theme" between the two main guys (usually one is the determined and the other is the prick) that can get you frustrated ... and (3) She doesn't do sugary sweet saccharine; her stories are usually intense, raw, or complicated, that you don't know whether you root for the relationship or wonder if the two guys are best to stay apart.

AND how I LOVE Ms. Blackwell's stories. I always prefer this type of stories rather than the sugary sweet ones. Why? Because the sugary sweet ones are usually forgettable for me. But this complicated relationship, that is the one that stays.

In Rescue Me , Matt Harmon hires a male nurse, James Hayden, to nurse him back after a fatal car crash that almost gets Matt killed. The accident leaves Matt scarred both physically and mentally. Added in with an lack-of-love childhood, Matt is cold, insensetive, and OMG, one of the biggest bastards in all of Scarlet Blackwell's stories! He plain hurts people with his attitude and sharp words -- and he also sort of a homophobe in the beginning, which just makes me itch to seriously hit him in the solar plexus. When he starts to have feeling for James, and they both act on their attraction, the relationship is toxic, twisted, and volatile. They keep going back and forth, even if Matt treats James like sh*t, and more than one occasion, I wish that James can say "no" and leave Matt forever, since I'm not sure why James lets himself being emotionally abused like that.

... I guess that's the beauty of this story. You either think that the relationship is plain abusive or complicated. And honestly, you will either hate this story or love it. Me, I love it. Of course, I'm used to Ms. Blackwell's stories. The way she pens out Matt and James's relationship is brutal, but I stick to it because I become emotionally involved with it and I want to see how Matt redeem himself. Matt might still need to do a lot of grovelling to James, but when he surrenders to his feeling, he does it thoroughly. The ending is so rewarding, I'm happy that I make it to the end (some of you probably need tissue when you get to that part ^_^)

This kind of stories are the one that has impact for me longer than the angst-free ones.
(less)

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Jul 04, 2012 Nile Princess rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: put-me-through-the-wringer, lots-of-angst, m-m-romance, formerly-straight, disability-injury-pain, disability-scarring, reviewed, kindle-lendable

Now that I can breathe again, I am compelled to review this book. Matt suffers an almost fatal car accident and, upon release from the hospital, hires James as his nurse. Matt is an extremely difficult man. Lack of love from his foster parents and/or significant adult romantic relationships have left him a sarcastic, bitter man who does not like to be touched. The huge scar that now runs down one side of his face doesn't help. His three friends, Lewis, Nick and Joel are all that keep him from be...more Now that I can breathe again, I am compelled to review this book. Matt suffers an almost fatal car accident and, upon release from the hospital, hires James as his nurse. Matt is an extremely difficult man. Lack of love from his foster parents and/or significant adult romantic relationships have left him a sarcastic, bitter man who does not like to be touched. The huge scar that now runs down one side of his face doesn't help. His three friends, Lewis, Nick and Joel are all that keep him from becoming a complete recluse.

James is attracted to Matt from the get go. He senses the inner turmoil in his new charge and is empathetic to his body image issues. Unfortunately, Matt is so nasty to him that he eventually quits - but not before they share not one, but two passionate kisses. Did I mention that Matt is homphobic? This new attraction to James, another man for Pete's sake, is simply too much for him to handle, especially considering his best friend Lewis and his other friend Nick are in the fledgling phase of a love affair.

James and Matt run into each other at various events and soon find themselves in the middle of a full blown affair..or something. Matt hates himself after every encounter and, because he's such a generous guy, he's sure to share that hate and disgust with James. He is undeniably attracted to James, yet looks down on him because James is the 'bottom'. Slurs get tossed around repeatedly and will offend some readers. It can't get any worse, I can hear you thinking. Oh, but it can. I haven't mentioned the violence. Yes folks, Matt and James beat the crap out of each at every turn and, even if it doesn't devolve into full blown violence, rest assured Matt will find a way to ruin a perfect moment. He's just consistent like that.

So now you're thinking, why on earth would I want to read this book? Answer? Because it's so gut wrenchingly good. I haven't read the 1 and 2 star reviews, but I pretty much know what they'll say and you know what? To some degree, they would be right. The relationship was dysfunction at its best/ worst. In real life, no one in their right mind would have cheered for Matt. He was mentally and physically abusive, selfish and he repeatedly hurt James only to apologize afterwards. James was the perfect abuse victim. Always accepting the apologies, always making excuses, always giving Matt another chance. BUT somehow this story worked and I can only attribute this to the author's immense talent. Because we get such comprehensive access to Matt's thoughts, emotions and remorse, it's very hard to fully hate him. Everytime he messes up you find yourself going, "Oh Matt! Not again,' because you know that you can't hate him anymore that he does himself when he lashes out (no pun intended). You don't always agree or understand but you sympathize. And sympathy is important in this book. Without it, you WILL throw the towel in after the first few chapters. The passion is evident throughout. Even through the worst of times, there is no denying Matt's need and desire for James. It is always there, over and above his denial and self hate.

Having said that, I did have issues. I think the abuse went on too long. I was especially bothered by the James character. Other reviewers mentioned counselling for Matt. James needed it as well. Allowing someone to repeatedly crap on you is not normal. He frustrated me at times because I would have liked him to be a stronger character. He embodied the wrong message. Put up with abuse, and eventually you will be rewarded when your jerk bf turns into a prince. He should have stepped back long before he did, been firmer ('I never want to see you again' should have meant just that) and the self flagellation (blaming himself for Matt's actions) left an especially bitter taste in my mouth.

The ending? Yes, it was nice and made me smile and the HEA crowd will love it but, for me, it would have felt more complete had they gone to counselling. Granted, on the surface, it didn't feel like they needed it. Matt had truly changed. He had opened up, accepted himself and his relationship, but too much had happened for 80% of the book and his jealousy/anger issues were still there below the surface. It felt like a HFN for me, like they were in the honeymoon stage until they settled down to everyday life, where shit gets real and Matt is truly tested. This book just screamed 'sequel'.

Read this book if you are ready to be taken on an emotional rollercoaster. The men are hot and the sex is hotter, but you will definitely be put through the paces. All I can say is stick with it. It's one I will definitely read again. (less)

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Nov 28, 2010 Don Bradshaw rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: coming-out, gay-romance

This would have been a 5 star book if the author had just combined the first 100 pages with the last 100 pages. The middle 200 pages of the book were boring and dragged the story down. There really should be a limit on the amount of angst and self-loathing a book can have. Ms Blackwell would write a much better story if she was less concerned with word count and more concerned with word quality.

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Mar 21, 2012 Eyre rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: somebody-needs-to-be-smacked, romance, gay-glbt-mm-mmf

Matt is horrible. He's mean. He's homophobic. He comes across as utterly unlikable. Given all that, you'd think I would have hated the book, but I didn't. Honestly, I couldn't put it down. It killed me to have to stop reading to go to work today. By the end of the story, I cried for both James and Matt.

Yes, Matt was just terrible. He was cruel, but he was so miserable and in so much emotional pain that I had to hurt for him just as much as I hurt for James. Yes, none of Matt's issues gave him t...more

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May 03, 2012 Nik rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gfy, i-got-99-problems, m-m, borrowed, made-me-work, hurt-comfort

This jerk made me work! So overall I liked the story but for the first 3/4ths of the book I wanted to choke both of Matt and James. Matt because he was SUCH a gigantic ass and James for always coming back for more. I did think the turning point when it happened was quick but I thought the last 1/4 made up for the rest of the gut churning shenanigans and the fact that I wanted to junk punch Matt over and over again...

If you don't mind working for it, it was a worth a read. Just be prepared to wa...more

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Mar 27, 2011 Nichole (Dirty H) rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, 2011

I really loved this book. It was everything I was looking for - characters that sucked me in, love that could not be denied. I read all 400 pages in one day.
This book gets knocked down a star for:
Matt is such a prick. Even though I loved him and wanted him and james to be together, I was also yelling at James to run far far away. Not only is he a prick, but he's a jealous, abusive prick and I would have liked the HEA more if he'd gotten some counseling to handle his anger.
There were some cultura...more

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Jan 21, 2013 Macky rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: faves

This is Scarlet Blackwell at her best, as an author she never fails to write compelling uneasy romances that you are going to either love or hate because she pushes boundries in her books that do not conform to the ' norm ' in m/m romance and personally I love that! This book is no exception it contains a main character who in another story would be a sympathetic character because of his circumstances ( the product review gives a good account of the basic premise ) but in this book Matt is in so...more This is Scarlet Blackwell at her best, as an author she never fails to write compelling uneasy romances that you are going to either love or hate because she pushes boundries in her books that do not conform to the ' norm ' in m/m romance and personally I love that! This book is no exception it contains a main character who in another story would be a sympathetic character because of his circumstances ( the product review gives a good account of the basic premise ) but in this book Matt is in so much denial about his unhappy past, his tragic accident that has caused both physical and mental scars, and his deeply hidden sexuality that he covers up by making homophobic comments and slurs around his few friends, two of whom are straight but have fallen in love whilst supporting each other when it was touch and go with his accident. In truth he is not very likeable and a total PIA and when kind hearted and caring James enters his life the ensuing ' romance ' is at times hard to watch as these two guys battle against their feelings and spend most of the time purposely ( and at times physically ) hurting each other unmercifully, Matt in particular because of his coldness and inability to express his feelings, so why do I love this story so much? Beneath the hurt and anger you know that these two stubborn men are absolutely crazy about each other and like all Ms Blackwells stories the sexual tension is off the charts so the love scenes, which at times are not always in the comfort zone, are never short of a passion and intensity that is palpable. Phew! If you like your romances sweet with a touch of angst before the HEA then this probably won't be for you. I have read this twice now and could quite happily start again asap. I get lost every time in this compelling love story and however much I find myself grinding my teeth at the pair of them and their sometimes shocking love/hate relationship, I can't help rooting for the eventual, hard earned conclusion that finally redeems Matt and gives James his deserved HEA. Wow, what a ride.A definite keeper and favourite of mine but others have felt differently. I like marmite so perhaps that accounts a bit for my tastes!(less)

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Jan 06, 2013 Quirkythrope rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Oh dear.

I tried to like this book more, I really did. But damn, it's hard when I didn't feel anything but disgust for the main characters. Both of them. I would have rather read about the Matt's two buddies hooking up and finding love over the terrible unhealthy dramafest that was Matt and James. Both of these men need serious therapy, Matt to get over his emotional constipation and need to be a callous abusive douche to everyone (exactly why does this guy have friends, never mind close ones?),...more

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Oct 06, 2012 Ayanna rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: reviewed

This book has so much potential, but there's just so much that doesn't quite work together.

The characterization started off rather okay, but then seemed to degenerate into loads of wangst all around. There's so much emotional whiplash and inconsistent characterization that I really don't get a read on any of the characters. There were good scenes, but those just put into sharp relief how awkward and noncohesive the rest of the narrative was.

The friends were especially weird because they brought...more

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Jun 28, 2012 Amber rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: forgettable, m-m-yaoi-novels

When I picked up this book I thought it would deal with a romance/relationship revolving around Matt healing from an accident and insular lifestyle. Turns out it more about Matt dealing with his homophobic tendencies and the fact he likes men. I've read very few books where fag was thrown around so much let alone by one of the main characters. Matt dealing with his accident/injuries or even his past emotional problems only seem to be a passing theme that isn't dealt with much unless it adds to h...more

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Jun 23, 2012 piranha rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

i started out liking this a lot. matt, an emotionally closed off, homophobic man has a horrific car accident, and emotionally mature and caring james, his nurse, starts helping him on the road to recovery. i ignored a few small early humps -- for being touted as the most professional of nurses, james sure is quick to randomly take offense at something rude matt says, and flounces out, slamming the door. also, matt is supposedly rich as croesus from an "internet book business", and said business...more i started out liking this a lot. matt, an emotionally closed off, homophobic man has a horrific car accident, and emotionally mature and caring james, his nurse, starts helping him on the road to recovery. i ignored a few small early humps -- for being touted as the most professional of nurses, james sure is quick to randomly take offense at something rude matt says, and flounces out, slamming the door. also, matt is supposedly rich as croesus from an "internet book business", and said business turns out to be antiquarian, not porn -- oh, right. but anyway; it starts out interesting enough, and i was looking forward to asshole matt redeeming himself.

except he doesn't. ever. instead james become a total doormat, and matt's friends (lewis gay for nick, nick gay for lewis, and joel gay for rough fucks) keep putting up with matt's homophobic abuse of them and james all the way through the book. occasionally somebody flounces and slams the door. vowing to not return, but they always do.

and i can't see why. because being rich and hot (despite the scars, and even though matt refuses to see it) isn't enough for me, and not having been loved as a child (something with which i have first-hand experience), is no excuse for continuing to abuse one's friends. matt is quite right about his self-assessment -- he IS an asshole, he IS selfish, he has serious anger-management and abandonment issues (which he never deals with), he treats james like shit -- and we're talking serious, abusive, physical and emotional harm. james, from being a sympathetic character who could potentially teach matt to open up and deal, becomes the quintessential battered spouse, and there's no reason why he should because he isn't actually bound to matt by vows and/or children, and he didn't start out as having zero self-esteem). and even though he recognizes that matt needs help, he doesn't seek any for himself either when it becomes obvious that he needs it. matt's friends -- why are they his friends? they don't even have the excuse that they fell in love with him at first sight. that sort of love never feels real to me anyway unless it is supported by some positive character features.

this novel just didn't work for me. aside from the character issues (for me to root for a jerk he has to have redeeming qualities, and matt seriously has none; not even a sardonic sense of humour, or the ability to be self-deprecating). the abusive push-and-pull went on for at least 100 pages too long; i was worn out by it and put the book down for a while to recover. and when the HEA came, it was too saccharine, and i actually didn't believe it could possibly last; i kept waiting for another bad turn. people CAN change, yes, but i want to see them put in the work; that's what makes it worthwhile to watch an asshole get a HEA. matt doesn't actually do any work; he goes from fucking james (best sex ever) to cruelly rejecting him and then desperate sulking for weeks -- over and over and over, and i see no growth.

which is too bad. scarlet blackwell has the talent and skill to write this sort of thing, but it careened off the rails in this case and never got back on.(less)

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Oct 09, 2011 Keri rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: angsty, in-the-closet, bad-bad-boys, m-m-books, gay-for-you, rowdy-roomies, sexual-tension

Where to begin...
There are so many good reasons to read Rescue Me...it's a beauty and the beast tale with so much passion and heart-wrenching horror it was like riding a roller coaster and hoping someone didn't die along the way.

This was my first read by this author but boy...she does't pull any punches...she just goes right for the jugular. I wasn't quite prepared for how much she puts her characters through and there were many times I found myself pulling away from the story because it just hu...more

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Apr 25, 2011 Allie rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I don't know who I hated more: Matt, the damaged asshole or James, the victim who kept going back for more. I don't know that I have read a more disgusting character in a long time... Matt was a homophobic (and wasn't it obvious why he protested so loudly and so much) buffoon. The way he treated James, his nurse, was obnoxious but then he treated all his nurses that way.

I didn't understand why his best friends stood by him after he turned them into his targets when he heard that two of them wer...more

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Apr 21, 2011 Fonzie rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: people who loved Twilight

Worst book ever. The main characters can only either have sex or fight.

With all the fistfights and drunkenness the main character is involved in, there is no way he could be a successful businessman. He also has no tact whatsoever. I also cannot imagine a grown man unable to control his urges to this extent.

The other characters suffer from a painful lack of personality with a side of Mary Sue-ness.

Also, to read this you'll need to suspend all disbelief, because you'll see the most unprofessional...more

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Jan 27, 2011 pbj rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: z_2011, angst, contemporary, disability, enemies-to-lovers, first-time, gay-for-you, homophobia-hate-crime, hurt-comfort, m-m, made-me-angry, nasty-plot-device, tearjerker, violence

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I am totally conflicted about this book.
The main characters are violent, homophobic, bigoted, entitled, nasty, lacking a sense of self-worth and emotionally stunted. The story is moving, at times gripping, and either emotionally complex or the romantic equivalent of a slasher movie - both will make your heart beat faster.
I was moved to tears by the first part of the book. The main character Matt's emotional struggle with his injuries - his incapacity to recognize the depth of his pain and anger...more

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Jan 27, 2013 Maggie Sims rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gay, anti-hero, bastard-mc

Hmmmm...how to rate this book?

If I were to rate this book based on Matt, I would have to rate at 1. Matt made all other bastards that I have read about look like amateurs. When he wasn’t being a ruthless homophobe, he was treating James like a cheap whore. This went on (according to my Kindle) for 87% of the book, so the remaining 13% did not contain enough groveling for his total redemption in my eyes. Additionally, I kept asking myself throughout the books why did his friends put up with him?...more

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Sep 27, 2012 Kerry sullivan rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gay-fiction, romance, my-ebooks

This book was reviewed for Musings of a bookworm

WOW just WOW... this was a tension filled love hate relationship and I spend nearly all of the book on the verge of tears just because Matt was so sad and out of touch with his feelings. I could see he wanted desperately to be love and to love but his only response was to push everyone away. My heart hurt for him and it also hurt for James because he got treated so badly. This story drew me right in, not that you can tell, by the end of it I was h...more

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Feb 01, 2012 Zaa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: mm-contemporary

This romance is unlike any other I've read, The main Character, Matt, is total jerk while the second main character, James, is so sweet. At first, I cannot tell you how much I hated Matt bcz he has worst character.
Matt used to be successful, arrogant, handsome and rich until the day he had a car accident. With a body full of scars, useless legs and messy emotional state, Matt becomes unbearable ; bitchy, hot-tempted and insensitive, no one around him could endure his moods swings any longer. Ja...more

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Mar 06, 2011 orannia rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book fits into a rather special niche. From what I've heard, Scarlet Blackwell doesn't write characters that are easy to love, nor do her books pull any punches. And this book is true to form. It is raw, unashamededly so, and...definitely not a book for everyone.

At its heart, this book is Matthew's story. His journey is...frequented by wrong turns. (Remember me mentioning this isn't a book for everyone?) He is not an easy character to like. At the beginning, I could understand (although no...more This book fits into a rather special niche. From what I've heard, Scarlet Blackwell doesn't write characters that are easy to love, nor do her books pull any punches. And this book is true to form. It is raw, unashamededly so, and...definitely not a book for everyone.

At its heart, this book is Matthew's story. His journey is...frequented by wrong turns. (Remember me mentioning this isn't a book for everyone?) He is not an easy character to like. At the beginning, I could understand (although not necessarily agree) with Matthew's actions - they spoke of terrible pain and loneliness. He...lashed out at everyone and everything, because he didn't understand his emotions, because he kept them bottled up. Why? Emotions leave you vulnerable so you do what you can to not be vulnerable.

As the book progressed though, Matthew felt like a crash waiting to happen, which is ironic as the book begins with Matthew in a physical (car) crash. But perhaps that is what the author intended...the physical crash at the begining of the book followed, eventually, after the aforementioned wrong turns, pain, anguish and heartache (and not just Matthew's), to the emotional crash... And it did, happen, just not as I invisiged. To be fair, the ending was...a bit too pat IMHO. All the realism in the book got...thrown away almost. See, I still think that Matthew hasn't dealt with his issues. James has...triggered a change, but...change doesn't happen overnight. All the reasons that lead Matthew to being who is was...they are still there. And they will still be there unless he deals with them. To be fair, I shouldn't...transfer my issues onto Matthew, because some of his issues are mine (no, not the anger management ones :) Maybe this is why this story resonated with me so much.

I guess what I'm saying is I think this book needs a sequel. Because I think Matthew's journey is far from over. I think it won't be an easy journey, but I think the author has the ability to write that journey, as difficult as it may be, and I want to read it. And...I so want some time with Nick & Lewis, who may have just been secondary characters, but who so stole every scene they were in.

I had a conversation with a good friend about five-star reads last month. A five-star read isn't necessarily perfect, but, for me anyway, it challenges who I am, what I believe, what I think about myself and the world around me. It resonates for days and weeks...it evokes emotion. Rescue Me was that book.

Edited to add: the personal pronouns do...get a little confusing in this book.(less)

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Jan 01, 2011 Kira rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, doctors

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
I looked at this book's page count and felt delighted because I knew there was more than the 150 or so you usually end up reading. Hell, anything more than 300 pages is a luxury and anything over 300 pages with content that interests me even more so. So I was so happy to begin to read this book, a first from this author by the way.

Maybe it was my too high expectations or the shock of her characterizations, but I'm extremely disappointed now that I've finished it. It was a good book, I liked the...more
I looked at this book's page count and felt delighted because I knew there was more than the 150 or so you usually end up reading. Hell, anything more than 300 pages is a luxury and anything over 300 pages with content that interests me even more so. So I was so happy to begin to read this book, a first from this author by the way.

Maybe it was my too high expectations or the shock of her characterizations, but I'm extremely disappointed now that I've finished it. It was a good book, I liked the story but boy did I have problems with it too.

First of all, someone said in a review that they felt like if the book had cut to the first and the last 100 pages, it would've been much better. I agree. In 200 pages this book could easily be 4 stars, even 5 if my other 'problems' with it hadn't been there.

I have to say I loved the side characters, I loved (it sounds weird and I know it...) the scene where Matt kicks the cat by accident and it leads into violence, it was such a good scene. I loved the heartbreak of both of the men and the realizations Matt had to face.

BUT

The middle of the book is so bad. So very bad. It made me feel so uncomfortable it was making me feel a bit sick. So Matt is a jerk, a bigot, a homophobe, a fucking idiot, I don't really mind that. But dragging it for such a long time and/or page count... It was difficult to read and not in a good way. And I know the good way, gods do I know it! There are books that make you whine and weep as you read without feeling like you want to puke when it just doesn't stop...

And when it finally did stop, I felt like "Huh? So, that's it?". The whole realization towards the end, Matt going after James and then going after him again with better luck, buying the ring and being all sorts of sappy and... It was too much, too unrealistic for me. I don't know anyone, male or female who would do a 180 like that just because their heart is breaking. If someone did, it would NOT be that smooth, no way.

All in all, the book was okay. If it hadn't been so awfully difficult to read and it had been more realistic in the end, then it would be 5 stars. With how it is, 3 stars.(less)

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Nov 14, 2011 Bee rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: gay-for-you, kindle, m-m, non-con-or-dub-con-sex, passion-erotica, romance, self-hating-gays, survival

Oh I don’t know, maybe I need a break from m/m romance for a while? …though I never seem to be able to stay away. This book was pretty good; I just felt absolutely nothing for it.

Matt was in a car accident and has to hire a nurse to take care of him in his home. He’s scarred from the numerous surgeries, both in his face and on his body. His doctor has let him know that he may just be impotent for life. He feels ashamed and emasculated – something which the presence of his pretty female nurses s...more Oh I don’t know, maybe I need a break from m/m romance for a while? …though I never seem to be able to stay away. This book was pretty good; I just felt absolutely nothing for it.

Matt was in a car accident and has to hire a nurse to take care of him in his home. He’s scarred from the numerous surgeries, both in his face and on his body. His doctor has let him know that he may just be impotent for life. He feels ashamed and emasculated – something which the presence of his pretty female nurses seems to endlessly remind him of. The single solution is to get a male nurse to care for him. And so thus enters James into his life. Matt is angry and prickly and downright horrible most of the time, but he and James seem to get along just fine. James even stirs a longing to be touched by another human in Matt. But as they get just a little bit too close one night Matt spits fire and pushes James away. No way is he a fucking fag and nothing James can try to pull on him will ever change that. But even when James is out of sight he isn’t out of Matt’s mind, and time and time again they will dance around each other in a push and pull movement until James finally reaches his limit and walks away for good. Can Matt ever really face his demons and man up enough to admit his feelings for James?

I’m a bit astonished about the amount of crap that James is willing to take from Matt. A bit astonished and a bit sad. Yes it’s obvious Matt’s warring with his own emotions, but to again and again be treated like crap, to be verbally and physically put down like that has got to be so frigging painful. And James just takes it. Again and again. Matt is aggressive and mean towards his friends and he spews venom over just about everyone in his life. He’s so miserable and so angry…and they all just take it. Yes they occasionally yell at him and fight back. Yes they stomp off in anger and cry and scream. Yes he sometimes apologizes. But then he just does the same thing all over again, and yet they all just show up again and again at his doorstep. That’s true friendship, but I just wonder why they all love Matt so much. He showers people in his money, but what else has he got to offer? (view spoiler)

I’m confused. I don’t have the answer. And what is worse…I really don’t care. I’ll leave this book behind me with a shrug of my shoulders.
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Feb 28, 2011 Emma rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is too good to pass.
Truth be told, I think this book has a style with which you will have a love hate relationship. Some people like such style of insolent defiance enveloped with shaded emotions causing angst to not only themselves but to the very vitalities of their survival. Some may be irritated towards such constant and irreverent sullying of the theme regarding one character, but in my personal opinion, the massive change in the end of the plot replenishes the parched sense of hu...more

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Dec 03, 2010 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary-romance, m-m-romance

Matt Harmon may be one of Scarlet Blackwell's most difficult characters to date. Obstinate, utterly obnoxious and self absorbed, aloof and emotionally stunted, he sees his life change in an instant when he suffers a near fatal car accident that leaves him physically disfigured, the scars on his body now mirroring his psychological scars.

James Hayden, a caring, compassionate, and naturally affable man, meets his nemesis when he's hired as Matt's nurse. The challenges of caring for a man as border...more

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May 04, 2011 Lindsay added it · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, trauma, ebook, romance

After about 65% of this book I switched to skim-reading, because I was so utterly sick of the protagonist and the circle of fools who continued to associate with him despite his incredible dickishness. I enjoyed the beginning as Matt recovered from his near-fatal injuries and started to feel something for James, his nurse. Where the book lost me was the lack of development in Matt's character as the novel progressed and the repetitive fuck-fight, fight-fuck dynamic between Matt and James which b...more

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Apr 28, 2012 Neet rated it 4 of 5 stars

Matt Harmon is a broken man, barely surviving a car accident that has scared him mentally and physically he is bitter and hostile toward those who want to help him. Entering his household we have James Hayden, a nurse that mere touch and dedication to his patient has Matt questioning unresolved feelings. Did I also mention that Matt is abusive, angry, homophobic, cruel, and rich. I mention rich because Matt 's idea of trying to solve broken feelings is to buy extravagant gifts to those friends w...more

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Jun 12, 2011 Juno rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: favorite, slash

It was a pain to see how Matt and James treated their relationship for at least 200 pages of the book. There were too many sex scenes that I practically ran over them but I understand though that it was a necessary lesson for Matt to change his views and judgment. I love Nick and Lewis--they're one of the best secondary couples I've read because of their own love story arc and support for the primary couple.

The part where Matt finally opened his eyes to his situation with James was the best. He...more

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May 22, 2012 Jaymie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, gfy-ofy

I was really wary of reading this story. Some of the reviews made me second guess whether or not I was going to like this book. People complained about the fact that throughout most of the book Matt was a complete jerk and James was a doormat.

I have to say while it was hard to like Matt (I wanted to punch him in the face for most of the book) his anger and nasty attitude is what had me unable to put down the book. The writer pulled me in because the story evoked such strong feelings from me. I'...more

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Oct 14, 2011 Lara rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, angst-loving-whore, disability, gay-for-you, lent, i-m-a-cover-lover, doctor-nurse-emt-medical

Well, I am an angst loving girl. And good gawd, was this worthy of an angst award. "I can't survive without him, but I'm not gay, but he's the only thing in the world that I can't live without, but I disgust myself." And so on, and so forth. And the homophobia and the constant use of that horrible f word were this close to turing me off. But because James was such a lovely man, and so worth it, I stuck with it. I'm glad I did. It turns out that Matt did have some redeemable qualities after all....more

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Oct 04, 2012 Amanda rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle-mm-read, ebooks-i-own, disabilities-illness, coming-out, enemies-to-lovers, gay-for-you, growly-alpha-males, hot-as-hell

3.5 stars.

Not a bad book but some of it could have been cut out. Matt only left James how many times after he ripped his heart out and stomped on it? Sheesh. After a while it got old.

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