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67th out of 149 books
—
55 voters
Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior
Your neighbor denounces cellular telephones as instruments of the devil. Your niece swears that no one expects thank-you letters anymore. Your father-in-law insists that married women have to take their husbands' names. Your guests plead that asking them to commit themselves to attending your party ruins the spontaneity. Who is right? Miss Manners, of course. With all thos...more
Hardcover, 864 pages
Published
April 17th 2005
by W. W. Norton & Company
(first published 1982)
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Nov 11, 2010
Mariel
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
dear prudence
Recommended to Mariel by:
hey jude
My mom consulted this book for practically everything when I was growing up. It's more about being considerate of others than stuffiness for the sake of stuffiness.
Anyway, I remembered this book because I've recently offended a Japanese friendly acquaintance by declining to eat his sushi. I'm vegetarian. It made dining at other's houses difficult when growing up. I'd be torn between being rude and not eating food that would make me sick. I'd like to consult this book again for dealing with those...more
Anyway, I remembered this book because I've recently offended a Japanese friendly acquaintance by declining to eat his sushi. I'm vegetarian. It made dining at other's houses difficult when growing up. I'd be torn between being rude and not eating food that would make me sick. I'd like to consult this book again for dealing with those...more
This book is not simply about which fork to use. Nor is it just the definitive guide to manners and etiquette, though that it is. Taken as a whole, Judith Martin's writings as Miss Manners add up to nothing less than a philosophical treatise. She answers the main questions of philosophy: How shall we live? What kind of people do we want to be? Her accumulated answers to day-to-day problems all of us face persuasively answer those questions. In a nutshell, and without ever stating it explicitly,...more
Judith Martin has impeccable wit. In answer to the question, "Isn't etiquette always a matter of making other people feel comfortable?" she answers "This would make politeness an activity exclusively for suckers and wimps. And, of course, sluts."
I will never wear white gloves or leave my calling card, but I enjoyed reading this book and I burst out laughing several times. A few excerpts:
Dear Miss Manners: Usually, lots of men I pass by on the street say "hi" to me. I assume it's flirting. Most...more
I will never wear white gloves or leave my calling card, but I enjoyed reading this book and I burst out laughing several times. A few excerpts:
Dear Miss Manners: Usually, lots of men I pass by on the street say "hi" to me. I assume it's flirting. Most...more
1 like · like · see review
I picked this up not thinking I'd be interested enough to read all of it, but 826 pages later, I'm still wanting more. Miss Manners is not just an expert on etiquitte, she is a witty social thinker. She also is not an Amy Vanderbilt sort of etiquitte-writer. She explains the reasons behind the need for etiquitte, as opposed to just a (seriously boring) laundry list of dos and don'ts. And she's not afraid to be a little irreverent about it all at the same time. An absolute must read.
Here's a quot...more
Here's a quot...more
2 likes · like · see review
Miss Manners makes me laugh out loud and always helps me figure out how to behave.
1 like · like · see review
It feels as though I have been browsing this book for decades, and the publication date of 1983 suggests that feeling is correct. Miss Manners is not quite correct about everything -- some of what is taken as chilly politeness from an attractive woman might risk a punch in the nose for an ordinary male -- but she has a good ear for a situation and can often make an immensely sensible suggestion. What is a mother do about her son's new bride who never thanks her for a gift? Here is Miss Manners'...more
So much fun, and surprisingly educational. I had no idea that women shouldn't throw themselves baby showers, and that relatives shouldn't do it either. And I'm happy to find validation for my distaste for the wedding registry. I totally agree with her about everybody from the guy on the line at the call center to your bank teller calling you by your first name - NOT COOL - I hate it, and it makes me uncomfortable. First names are for friends and family only.
Updated. I'm about 2/3 of the way thro...more
Updated. I'm about 2/3 of the way thro...more
My mother bought this book in hardcover when it first came out and kept it in the kitchen within arm's reach of the kitchen table. Yes, really! That way whenever an etiquette question came up during dinner (such as "Which way is the correct way to pass? To the right or to the left? and didn't my sister do it wrong?") we could quickly get the definitive answer. Because Lord knows we couldn't postpone that discussion or let the small lapse in passing pass. As a result, many, many dinner meals incl...more
Aug 18, 2011
^
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
People who care about other people
A thoroughly entertaining, and pleasurable read. Great style, and delivered with much acutely intelligent advice. For example, I loved the realism, and subtlety behind the statement of chapters: “Marriage (for Beginners)”, followed further on in the index, after “Divorce,” by “Marriage Two (Prerequisite: Marriage for Beginners).”
For a Brit, the obvious challenge is to differentiate between American etiquette and British etiquette …. and nowadays, also to bear in mind that etiquette changes over...more
For a Brit, the obvious challenge is to differentiate between American etiquette and British etiquette …. and nowadays, also to bear in mind that etiquette changes over...more
Don't be fooled by all that "which fork" stuff: Miss Manners is a witty and surprising writer who offers advice both useful and delightfully useless. For example, I now know the proper way to seat my guests at a dinner party. I don't expect any of them to put up with me trying to tell them where to sit, but at least I will secretly know they're doing it wrong, and feeling quietly smug about one's guests is surely the best reward for any hostess.
Judith Martin doesn't just write about manners, she is a philosopher and social commentator. Under her tutelage, one can learn a wealth of history. I find myself laughing frequently because she has a very sharp wit. Miss Manners has the wisdom to be flexible and foresee where custom has or will need to change with changing lifestyles. However, she is very staunch in defending and preserving those rules that continue to serve Americans well.
I actually read the old version because it was fifty cents on the used book table at the library. I really needed a reason to laugh out loud for over 700 pages, and to know what to serve for each of the fourteen courses at a proper dinner party. Don't read this book to find out all the things you have done and will do wrong, but because this woman went to Wellesley. She is smart, funny, and biting, just like the best of our sisters.
The last book I read that was longer than Miss Manners' Guide was Gone With The Wind; I don't regret reading either one. This book is hilarious! The letters floor me as much as the responses! At 864 pages, you would think this was a "flip through", but you have to read it cover to cover, Gentle Reader. You won't be sorry.
THIS BOOK IS MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER. SO MUCH SO, IT DESERVES ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM SHOUTING WITH EXCITEMENT! Yes, I do love Miss Manners, I think she is funny, smart and oh-so-relevant. The things that I have learned from Miss Manners have helped me in all parts of my life.
Lurve~ Of course, Miss Manners is some DC edition of a society Queen Mother but she tries her hand at common sense and less-common, but utterly crucial manners, and usually wins her hand. I don't advocate her occasional rudeness. One does wonder why she included those letters.
This is more than a manual for proper behavior. It's a compendium of wit from one of the least-appreciated wits of our era. Judith Martin's writing is bitingly funny and entertaining as all get-out. In another age, she would have held her own in a duel of pens with Dorothy Parker or Oscar Wilde. And she gives sound, sensible guidance on good manners to boot. Through her advice, she reassures readers on practically every page that etiquette consists not, as most people imagine, of arcane and comp...more
On eating pineapple:
"Informal: Same as formal. It is a mistake to hold an unpeeled pineapple in the hand and bite into it.
"Formal; Quarter, cut from peel, slice and eat with fork. Wonder why hosts didn't perform this in pantry." (p. 190)
On eating peas:
"Peas are unique in that they are the only vegetable with a herd instinct. Thus it is easily possible to catch them when armed only with a fork if they are crowded together and feeling safe; but impossible by conventional means to catch one or two...more
"Informal: Same as formal. It is a mistake to hold an unpeeled pineapple in the hand and bite into it.
"Formal; Quarter, cut from peel, slice and eat with fork. Wonder why hosts didn't perform this in pantry." (p. 190)
On eating peas:
"Peas are unique in that they are the only vegetable with a herd instinct. Thus it is easily possible to catch them when armed only with a fork if they are crowded together and feeling safe; but impossible by conventional means to catch one or two...more
Jul 24, 2007
Rebecca
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
those who secretly yearn, as i do, to belong to a victorian-british gentleman's club
Shelves:
non-fiction
Miss Manners is my personal hero. I imagine that if I had once been her classmate at Wellesley, she would have been the only one of the pearl-and-twinset set that I adored. I love her simultaneous acknowledgment of the arbitrary and necessary aspects of manners, and her unabashedly absurd fondness for grape scissors, which makes my own obsession with obscure stemware seem downright restrained. Oh, and her prose genius. I'd give it five stars but as a reference it's sometimes difficult to find th...more
Miss Manners manages to be both humorous and informative as she tackles a whole range of etiquette problems from answering machines to 14-course meals. Seeing as it's the size of a dictionary - though much funnier! - it's best read piece by piece in spare moments.
My mother and grandmother and great grandmother's brainwashing and Charm School lessons all rolled into one neat little book. So cute and so essential!!! I plan to pass these on to my daughters, grand daughters and great grand daughters
Forget Emily Post! Forget Dear Abby and Ann Landers! Those rubes are completely out-of-touch and out-of-date!
Miss Manners has arrived, and she gives a thoughtful and yet hilarious look at modern day manners, and also gives us some pithy advice about where manners came from and why they're still important.
Judith Martin is a syndicated columnist with the Ask Miss Manners column. This book is a compilation of her advice columns, with letters sent in followed by her answers. It is divided into chapt...more
Miss Manners has arrived, and she gives a thoughtful and yet hilarious look at modern day manners, and also gives us some pithy advice about where manners came from and why they're still important.
Judith Martin is a syndicated columnist with the Ask Miss Manners column. This book is a compilation of her advice columns, with letters sent in followed by her answers. It is divided into chapt...more
I actually have an edition that was reprinted in 1982, I think. My favorite/least favorite part: how to perform a full and correct tea service and ALSO how to convince your 8 year old to act as a butler.
I read the original version, but I don't see that one on Goodreads.
I agree with other reviewers who pointed out Ms. Martin's sharp wit and refreshing approach to the subject of etiquette.
I agree with other reviewers who pointed out Ms. Martin's sharp wit and refreshing approach to the subject of etiquette.
A very funny book on etiquette and the art of being polite, this is a follow up to Emily Post's Etiquette though not written by the same writer! It is supposed to be a modern update on good manners.
A fantastic book to have on hand for those times when you can't quite remember how you should address that old lady who might or might not be divorced at your next formal dinner party.
My bible - I call myself a miss manners anarchist to negotiate the tricky waters of current manners and expression of politics with as much humor and wit as Judith Martin.
read years ago and am only now remembering to add this to my list. thoroughly entertaining and informative at the same swipe. her thoughts are classic and still apply.
Wickedly funny, Miss Manners delights her audience while teaching etiquette. Even my teenage daughter is enthralled! What more could you want?
Is this one of the necessary evils to polite society? Don't read it. It will make you crazy, but refer to it if you have a question.
If I could give this negative stars, I would. This book was one of two that I've ever exchanged. Arrogant, condescending, patronizing.
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Judith Martin (née Perlman), better known by the pen name Miss Manners, is an American journalist, author, and etiquette authority.
Since 1978 she has written an advice column, which is distributed three times a week by United Features Syndicate and carried in more than 200 newspapers worldwide. In the column, she answers etiquette questions contributed by her readers and writes short essays on pro...more
More about Judith Martin...
Since 1978 she has written an advice column, which is distributed three times a week by United Features Syndicate and carried in more than 200 newspapers worldwide. In the column, she answers etiquette questions contributed by her readers and writes short essays on pro...more
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1 trivia question
More quizzes & trivia...
Nov 27, 2010 11:46am
The Breakfast Club made fun of sushi better. "You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth but you're going to eat THAT?"
I knew an Indian...more
Nov 27, 2010 11:49am