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I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood

3.62  ·  Rating Details  ·  1,439 Ratings  ·  368 Reviews
Best-selling authors Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile brought sweet relief to moms with their first book, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids. Here they return with a frank, yet encouraging look at marriage post-tots. They set out to discover if parenthood has to be incompatible with conjugal blissGÇöand if so, how to change that. To find out, they spoke to hundreds of ...more
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Published April 1st 2007 by Chronicle Books LLC (first published January 1st 2007)
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May 18, 2009 J.R. rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
You can't judge this book by its cover....

I feel horrible. I love the cover of this book, and am sure that the authors put a lot of time into writing it. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy it at all and cannot give it more than one star.

There were a few funny lines sprinkled throughout - but again, there were few. I felt as though I was listening to a lecture on why mothers across America hate this inescapable role they have assumed, willingly or unwillingly. Further, it was if the lecture was on re
Jul 18, 2009 Stevie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
This book made me grumpy. I wanted to like it, wanted to find some jewel of wisdom, but came away frustrated that I'd bothered. I just have a hard time finding much empathy for the whole 'being an upper middle class mommy is hard' complaint. I'm an upper middleclass mommy, and it can be hard, but c'mon your kids, and be thankfull that you don't have to try to figure out how to raise healthy happy kids while working a minimum wage job, going to night school, and protecting them from ...more
Lisa G
Aug 07, 2008 Lisa G rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book is a great read! The two authors of the book spoke to mothers that work outside of the home, mothers that work inside the home(notice I did not mention stay-at-home mother because if you receive a paycheck or decide to take the job as the nanny...we are all working mothers), and part-time(working outside/inside the home). They share the ups and downs of motherhood from all three perspectives and include steps to make life more simple. Basically as mothers we all have routines and sched ...more
Apr 02, 2008 Belle rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: ellen evaristo
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Oct 14, 2009 Sarah rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I LOVED this book. Reassuring, honest, and real. I thought they had a great approach, great writing style, and it was incredibly encouraging. Plus, the snippets of other mom's confessions had me cracking up--wow, it isn't just me! If you need a refresher about how to love motherhood as much as you love your kids, this is the perfect read for you.
Feb 05, 2009 Jillaire rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I first saw this book during what must have been a rough week with my kids, because it really caught my eye and I later bought it. It was not as enlightening as I had hoped, mostly because I'm not dealing with all the issues the authors talk about. (I guess that's a good thing!)

If you already have a good support group of friends/other moms with whom you have realistic conversations about how tough motherhood is, then you probably don't need to read this book. There's a lot of discussion about mo
Apr 18, 2011 Lennie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is about the challenges mothers face today and is devoted to helping women sort out some of the conflicts that arise while raising children. It was written by two moms who had their share of difficulties and who at times felt like they were having “one of those days.” They realized that nobody talks about how hard motherhood truly is so they decided to interview other mothers who might be feeling as overwhelmed as they were. This book contains their thoughts and feelings and addresses ...more
May 30, 2009 Natalie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
If someone had told me that 2 model-looking women, an Ad-exec and a PR exec had written some thoughts about motherhood in a book, dressed it up with cute fonts and formatting, put a picture of a cupcake on the front and had come up with a catchy title, I would have NEVER BOUGHT THE BOOK!

I have read content in amateur Mom Blogs that is just as good, if not better and more uplifting. If you were on a desert island & this was the only book, I would still probably not recommend it because despit
Oct 18, 2009 Jessica rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: moms
Shelves: parenting, self-help
I typically do not like the sort of pop-psych, I'm OK-You're OK writing style that these authors employ, but I like this book and I think it has some smart things to say.

The three core ideas of the book are: Moms need to lay off the judgment of other moms and themselves, take time to enjoy their kids and learn to set boundaries in terms of their personal time and family time. It is not a privilege for Mom to get a shower and a lunch out with the girls--these are necessities. It is OK to say no
Aug 19, 2009 Cooksonmom rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mybooks
OK, I read this in a matter of hours and although parts are witty and some elements of sound advice are given, it wasn't that good. First of all, I can't relate to most of the women in the book simply because I don't worry about the same things they do. Peer pressure never worked that well on me and I think that has seeped into my adult life. These women are too worried about what everyone thinks of them. Of course I want to be liked, but I want to be liked for being me, not for being "them." It ...more
Dec 30, 2007 Amy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any normal mom who has days she wants to sell her kids on ebay
I thought this was of the more down to earth, realistic "mom" books I've ever read. It was a breath of fresh air after feeling stifled in a kid-centric, obsessive-mommy community a while back. It is a great laugh and empathetic friend for any mom who's had "those days"...or has them often.
Jun 09, 2009 Christina rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: mothers to be/new mothers.
Recommended to Christina by: Hanne Sandbeck
Being a mother has ups and downs - and during one of these downs where I just felt exhausted and that I was a lousy mom, I sat down one evening and read this book. And it made me stop and think about my life and my family's life. Our daughter is still just a baby, 9 months old, but right now we're laying the foundation for her and the way our family is going to be - and we need to learn to prioritise. Learn to live in the moment and enjoy each step - childhood is a journey, not a race, and each ...more
Jan 10, 2011 Shannon rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
The title of this book caught my eye as I was wandering slowly and kid-less through Target. I picked it up and read the first paragraph and cried. I'd had *that* day as a stay-at-home mom and even a few sentences of understanding were enough to reduce me to tears. Well, that and I was 6 months pregnant.

I loved this book for the refreshing honesty the writers used. As a former career woman turned mom, I felt by reading the words of these two women, I was immediately their friend; I was in the cl
Sep 24, 2008 Michele rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: moms
This is an easy read. I doubt anyone will agree with everything written, but I think every mom will find parts of this book that ring all too true. We are our harshest critics and there are so many moms out there who want everyone to think the life of motherhood is all a big bed of roses. It's time we're more honest with everyone else and especially honest with ourselves. No matter how much we want to do it all, we're only human. It's so easy to second guess ourselves. Should I work or stay at h ...more
Feb 13, 2009 Amy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I really enjoyed this book that attempts to debunk the myths about what it means to be a "good mom." I love the candid interviews and I love the list of come-backs for those annoying judgers out there (e.g. Comment: You let your toddler watch TV? Comeback: Oh yeah, her favorite movie is The Exorcist -- you should see her impression of the pea-soup scene?) I also love the chapter about sex after baby (one more thing on the To Do List that never ends) -- my favorite mom quote is "A boner in the ba ...more
Feb 02, 2008 Amanda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the best book I have read in a really long time but I *think* part of it is because I am raising a child, battling with the "mom guilt" on occassion and desperately trying to find my own way in society as myself, a wife & a mother. It really touched me and offered me a fresh perspective on so many aspects of my life. I really love the funny "secrets" in each chapter, the quizzes to help you be introspective and how easy the book is to follow. I read the entire book in two days and lo ...more
Feb 24, 2012 D rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I was really excited to read this book, but it was a bit disappointing. I thought the title was catchy and clever, but the tone of the book was kind of depressing. Ashworth and Nobile don't really have any credentials that make them experts on motherhood or parenting, and the book seemed to be more venting than helpful. The structure of the book was disconnected. In the middle of a thought or point, there would be a quote from a mom, and then they'd go back to the point they were trying to make. ...more
Jamie Moore
A quick little read reminding me that nobody said this was gonna be a cinch. Reminds the reader to evaluate expectations of oneself, to never lose sight of core values, align priorities and actions with these values, give yourself a freakin break once in a while, just BE with it. Good advice for anyone, I say, kids or not.
Mar 16, 2013 Jennifer rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
i have got to stop picking up this garbage in weak moments of parenting.
not a bad book but no better than the best oprah mag.
Nov 26, 2008 Bree rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I started reading it and got really into it...but then I just sorta lost interest.
Jan 04, 2015 Lisa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If I were still the mom of a toddler, I'm certain I'd give this book 5 stars. Reading this now made me realize three things. 1. It was really difficult to be the mother of a small child, but for physical reasons as much as for psychological reasons. (Being the mother of an adolescent is heavy on the psychological exhaustion and lighter on physical exhaustion. At least for me.) 2. I am SO glad that I'm not where the intended audience of this book is. 3. My village and I figured out this balance t ...more
Sarah-Mae Adam
Aug 12, 2014 Sarah-Mae Adam rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own
This book was exactly what I needed as a new mum. Chapters on how to "Align Your Expectations With Reality", "Make Peace With Your Choices", "Lose the Judgement", "Let Go of the Guilt", "Tell Him What You Need", "Honor Your Whole Self", "Just Say No", and "Live in the Moment" expand upon the general theme of leaving our expectations of how we thought we would become Mothers behind and accepting our current realities, struggles and needs.

"If you want to really, really enjoy it, without feeling gu
Kelly Driver
Dec 22, 2010 Kelly Driver rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Kelly by: MOMS Club book club
'I don't know how she does it!' is an oft-heard refrain about mothers today. Funnily enough, most moms agree they have no idea how they get it done, or whether they even want the job. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile spoke to mothers of every stripe working, stay-at-home, part-time and found a surprisingly similar trend in their interviews. After enthusing about her lucky life for twenty minutes, a mother would then break down and admit that her child's first word was 'Shrek.' As one mom put it, ' ...more
There's a comedian I really like named Lewis Black. He has a skit about the International House of Pancakes that goes something like: "I love going to the International House of Pancakes, because no matter how much you weigh, there's someone there who weighs 150lbs more than you do." And that about sums up this book - no matter how crazy of a mom you think you are, there's a woman out there who's a crazier one. So basically this book made me feel better about myself as a mother.

I liked the book
Jul 02, 2011 Nicole rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Where was this book when my kids were little!?! Finally, a book that explores why competent, intelligent women often struggle with motherhood. This is not another "mommy-wars" book. It is an honest, funny, no-holds-barred look at why taking care of our kids can be so exhausting, unnerving, and monotonous. The authors interviewed over 100 moms and found that expectations (from family, other moms, society, and even the moms themselves) reek havoc with moms' self-esteems. Our generation was told we ...more
Aug 09, 2013 Stacy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
These two moms wrote this book when they figured out that they couldn’t be the only mothers who felt less than positively about motherhood. They interviewed over 100 moms trying to answer a few of these questions: what happened to the people we were before we became moms, why do we constantly feel that we’ve made the wrong choices, why do we feel guilty all the time, how come nobody talks about how hard motherhood truly is. It’s really that last one that this book met head on and for the first t ...more
Feb 19, 2013 Stephanie rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: parenting
I'm really torn over this book. First, I thought this book was going to be funny. It absolutely is not. In truth, it is pretty depressing.

The gist of the book is the two authors were struggling through motherhood, interviewed other moms, and then wrote a book about how moms don't like the daily grind of being moms. They threw in a few ways to make motherhood more enjoyable, and voila! you have a book on modern motherhood.

I suppose my issue was this: through the entire book they make it sound li
Sep 18, 2013 Laura rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm between 3 and 4 stars on this one. The title and formatting made me think it was going to be more essays or stories from moms, but it is more like a very long advice column. The nice thing about the book is it lets moms know that they are not alone in feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by motherhood -- something that many women are relieved to discover. The book talks about how the expectations we have for ourselves, our children, and our husbands are too high. Pressure from our family and f ...more
this came highly recommended by a mom acquaintance of mine. i feel like there's not a lot out there that really addresses the difficulties & disappointments of being a parent, so...i liked this book for that. but i was not expecting it to basically be a self-help book. i was expecting something more along the line of darkly humorous essays. instead, it is essentially a step-by-step guide on how to cope with the demands & frustrations of parenting. i do think a lot of the advice it proffe ...more
Jul 26, 2009 Kelly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I am not much of a self help, reality book kind of girl but boy do I love these ladies! They make me laugh! Through their humor I have found some sanity. I will let you know what I think in the end. I think new mothers and mothers for a second ( third, or fourth!) time around will enjoy this one!

Now that I have finished this one I just have to say this book has given me a true sense of RELIEF! I am not crazy! I fall exactly in the dead center of the normal scale of motherhood. This book really
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Trisha Ashworth lives in Northern California with her husband and three children.
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