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Parentless Parents: How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise Our Children
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Parentless Parents: How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise Our Children

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3.47  ·  Rating Details  ·  51 Ratings  ·  13 Reviews
Parentless Parents is the first book to show how the absence of grandparents impacts everything about the way mothers and fathers raise their children--from everyday parenting decisions to the relationships they have with their spouses and in-laws.

For the first time in U.S. history, as the average age of women giving birth has increased significantly, millions of children
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ebook, 336 pages
Published February 15th 2011 by Hyperion (first published January 1st 2011)
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Jenny
Aug 08, 2011 Jenny rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
As the title explains, this book talks about raising children when your own parents have already died. I wish she didn't write from her own experience, because to me it came across really whiny and self-centered. It could have been a completely different book if she only spoke about others' experience.

Finally, on page 199 out of 212, she refers to the reflection of "Abigail Stewart, professor of psychology and women's studies at the University of Michigan, you can turn loss into an advantage if
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Alicia
Jun 16, 2016 Alicia rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2016
This book focuses on the authors own experience. She talks about his the death of her parents impacted how she raised her kids. To begin with, I thought it would be more encompassing and talk about other people's experiences. This book comes off just whiny. Poor Ali and her not having her parents anymore. Her in laws aren't the same and the remaining family members don't measure up to her parents memories.

There is more than one way to be a parentless parent, but that is a book for someone else
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Allison Dellion
Apr 09, 2011 Allison Dellion rated it liked it
This book was not for me. I guess I misinterpreted the cover. I am a semi-parentess parent. My father passed away when I was pretty young and I have no connections to his side of the family. To get the most out of this book, a parentless parent should be someone who knew their parents and had a least satisfactory relationships with them when they passed.

The book did let me see some of the ways that our own parents influence our own parenting decision-making, which I find interesting. Depending o
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Audrey
Jun 19, 2011 Audrey rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This book was disappointing. I gave it two stars because there is some valuable experiences from other people shared in these pages, in addition to some interesting numbers from the Parentless Parent survey. However, I was disheartened by Gilbert's very narrow interest in people who lost both of their parents to death and were thus parentless. People are parentless for other reasons and yet have the same kind of difficulties and experiences that someone who lost their parents to death would have ...more
Stephanie
Mar 30, 2013 Stephanie rated it liked it
I chose this book at the library because with the divorce of my parents, i feel i have completely lost my parents. One is replaced with a new version, and one has this kind of "descent into madness " thing going. The author is very clear that this is a book for middle class people who had a good relationship with their parents and who have lost them both, and it could be subtitles "Keeping Your Parents Memory Alive for Your Children", as that is very much a huge thrust of her book. But what i to ...more
Julie
Mar 08, 2011 Julie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Having lost my mother at a very early age and my father right before my daughter was born, I have often thought about the impact my parents' deaths have had on me, my parenting skills and my daughter, who obviously never knew them. This is a good book for people in this situation. There are many times when you think "Yes, this is so true." A couple of times it made me think "Hmmm - I had not thought of this before." Overall, I think it helps validate feelings most people have probably had. While ...more
Meredith Spidel
This book was full of excellent points and insight into positive coping. I think Gilbert did a great job introducing the challenge of this situation, but disagree that both of a person's parents have to be dead for that person to be classified as parentless. I think parentlessness can be experienced in a lot of other ways, sometimes in ways that can be harder to cope with in our society. I also note she failed to address any relationship less than near-blissful with one's parents. Dealing with t ...more
Desi
This book has some very useful insights. Even though most of the book is personal anecdote, the author also did a lot of research into the (much ignored) subject, including focus groups and surveys. While I am not completely parentless (I've "only" lost one parent), F is, and these losses shape us in ways that most people around us in our cohort do not even begin to comprehend. Impending parenthood adds another dimension to our situation, and I'm glad to have the perspective and tools that this ...more
Vanessa
Apr 01, 2011 Vanessa rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Both of my parents have been dead for over twenty years now, and never saw either of my children, so I checked this one out of the library because I was curious if I could see my parenting style in its pages, as well as any advice on how to stop being so paranoid about something happening to me (before my kids are grown) or my kids. Alas, it was really just an autobiographical account of the author's own struggle with losing her parents. While I empathize with anyone who loses someone they love, ...more
Jackie
Jun 06, 2012 Jackie rated it really liked it
When I first started this book I thought it was for anyone who had lost a parent, I didn't realize it was for completely parentless parents (those that have lost both parents). I still learned a lot from it though.

Although I couldn't relate to all of it, I couldn't believe how exactly it described many of the feelings I have that I have never tried to put into words. One of the main things I learned reading this is how blessed I am to still have 1 living parent and most of my grandparents still
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Marie
Feb 27, 2014 Marie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I am not sure if I was still feeling too raw to read this book. I thought it would help me with the raising of my kids without my parents here but instead she pointed out all the things I will have issues with as they get into school and get older.... I guess I am glad for the warning but something was missing. She had great advice at the end of the book but you had to get through a whole sad book to get to where you needed to be... I guess that is the journey though, even in life.
Judy
Apr 04, 2011 Judy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mental-health
We must learn to deal with our problems and to not be jealous of others.

I enjoyed the end of this book more than the beginning or middle, where it seemed that absolutely every problem the author had was because she was a parentless parent. 2 1/2 stars from me.
Molly
Feb 23, 2011 Molly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
It is a really good book. Well done by the author on this subject. It is all the millions of things I think about everyday that don't always get acknowledged but that impact me (us) all-the-same.
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Allison Gilbert is an Emmy award-winning journalist and critically acclaimed author of Parentless Parents: How the Loss of Our Mothers and Fathers Impacts the Way We Raise Our Children and Always Too Soon: Voices of Support for Those Who Have Lost Both Parents. She is also author of the forthcoming Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of Loved Ones Alive (Seal Press: 2016), the first book to focus ...more
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