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In the Meantime

4.15 of 5 stars 4.15  ·  rating details  ·  5,545 ratings  ·  223 reviews
Yoruba priestess, Iyanla Vanzant offers practical guidance on a wide variety of spiritual matters. In the Meantime will be a revelation to anyone who dreams of finding true love.
Paperback, 352 pages
Published October 1st 1999 by Simon & Schuster (Trade Division) (first published 1998)
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Don't let the title fool you--whether you have the love you want, are looking, or don't have any interest, the focus is on learning how to love yourself. I have read and re-read this book many, many times. It is hi-lighted and rabbit eared to the point that I would never be able to lend anyone my copy but it is one of the best self-help books I have ever encountered (and I have read a TON of them, believe me). I find Iyanla's voice very real and she seems to "walk the talk"-very genuine. I also ...more
"Accept the fact that in a relationship the only person you are dealing with is yourself. Your partner does nothing more than reveal your stuff to you."

"What you believe about yourself is reflected in the people with whom you choose to align yourself."

"Our relationships and the people in them are the tools God uses to give us a soul lift. God, the creator of our life, wants you to elevate the way you view yourself and treat yourself, and ultimately the way you treat others and allow them to trea
Phoenix Brown
This book saved my life! I am not saying that to be dramatic...this is my truth! I was in an abusive relationship (verbal, mental & physical) when I came across this book. It was a GODsend! This book taught me that my inner peace was more important than pretending to be a family. My sanity was more important then my son having a father in the house because if I stayed he may not have had either one of us. If you are in the meantime...This book is definitely for you! The love and appreciation ...more
This book is very helpful, especially if you are having relationship trouble. The author helps you to look at your life from an interesting perspective. She uses the metaphor of moving up through the floors of a house, needing to take care of each level before moving on to the next. The basement is where you are miserable and hopefully realize that things need to change. As you move up the floors, you need more self-love and appreciation, more spiritality, more honesty, etc. I found this book to ...more
The title really says it all, but Vanzant gets to the heart of the matter by using personal experience and the trials of others to show that loving yourself enough to make difficult personal choices is where love and joy abound. I often found myself in a myriad of emotions reading this book, and abandoned it for some time before picking it up again. I recommend this read to anyone looking to discover real change through learning the secret of truly loving yourself and others.
Vonda Roark-martinez
I read this book the first time in 1998, I'd taken a self prescribed sabbatical from dating to embark on a journey of self discovery. In The Meantime, became my doctrine my handbook to learning who I was, what I needed/deserved and how to stop sacrificing myself for the sake of others.

Four years after I had turned the last page and closed the book from a second read, I met and married the love of my life, my truest life partner, my husband.

This book taught me about me that I needed to be seilfi
Yvonne Riggs
Must read for women ages 22 & Up. If you are in the reflecting stages of you life wondering where your relationships went wrong, this is for you. Never give up on love. Your meantime is for a reason.

I bought ever copy at a local bookstore and gave it out to friends to read. I highly recommend reading this.
Another phenomenal read from Ms. Vanzant. I love her writing style and for me this is one of my favorite self-help books. In a nutshell it really is about loving yourself. When you love yourself everything else falls into place. When you love yourself you become open to the abundance that the Universe has to give. I love it, love it, love it! As with most of her writings I can never say that I've finished reading the book because my personal growth journey leads me to different places at differe ...more
I love this book! I felt like she was my mentor speaking to me in a spunky yet compassionate manner (just like I need- a soul sister!) She painted a mental picture for me, that helped me to visualize and recognize the different levels I am going to have to work through and acknowledge; in order to fully love my self and my past. This book helped me go lighter on myself in terms of feeling like, I need to change all at once, or that I am bad for my behavior in relationships at times. I felt suppo ...more
Amelia Wise
This is a book I can see myself picking up again and again when I'm unclear or unsure of life's trials and tribulations. While I think that Vanzant has a great process of getting yourself to a better place in life, I think I might cast aside some of the advice she gives for the "little things" in life. The way in which she compares cleaning yourself up spiritually and emotionally to cleaning out your "house" is brilliant. So simple, yet so true. I don't think there's a one size fits all approach ...more
Susan Burke
Sometimes we come to a time which may just be the "meantime" of our lives. Iyanla in all her brilliance paints a clear and undeniable picture of just what being "In the Meantime" looks and feels like. She is poignant yet stern in her no-nonsense approach, leaving no stone unturned right down to the actually birthing of our lives having some sort of impact or meaning. Yes, how we actually entered the world, what kind of birth did we endure and how were we taught for the first crucial years of our ...more
Milestone Jazz
I would recommend this book to anyone that feels like they can't start over. I would definately recommend this book to someone who is trying to find there place in this world. It's a must read...

Blanca Rodriguez
In The Meantime is one of the few self help books I have ever read. Honestly, the first time around I didn't even finish it when I began it roughly four years ago. I liked the message well enough but at one point I just felt like there were other things out there that I preferred reading to this.

Last Sunday, I saw it on my book shelf as I was taking out the book I was going to start to head towards my 75 book goal and thought it may be a good thing to pick up again. What I didn't anticipate is t
September Dee
A great book on understanding relationships, what makes them succeed and what makes them fail. How to come out of a bad relationship and not make the same mistakes. It is inspiring and great advice for anyone. It isn't always easy to make the right decisions and this book helps in the though processes involved through her own story and those of others as well.
I re-read this book whenever I'm going through a major life transition. It reminds me of who I am and more importantly who I am not. The journal is a must have especially when ending or entering a relationship.
Cece Henry-lewis
As I read this book I cried and cried as I realized I didn't love myself at all. And by not loving me I was not equipped to love anyone or receive love. This book has helped me to realize that the best love there is, is self love. I am ready to work on me.
I loved this book I have loaned it out several times. she is a great aurthor and I intend on reading more of her books........ truly inspiring and truly life changing..... esp after my divorce.....
Marilyn K. Timmons
Amazing book

This book has really begun to teach me how to love myself and not to be so dependent on someone else ...mainly a validate me as a woman
Annmarie Kostyk
This is the third time I've read this book. It's great when you're at a crossroads in anything in your life. She reminds you that it all starts and ends with yourself.
Vanessa Thompson
This is a self help book, which you can never finish the read. It is always used as a guide. I enjoyed the book, cd and other writing material by this writer.
Cristina Oliveras
This book saved my relationship and it saved me. Regardless where you are in life and love, this book brings you to the depths of understanding and grasping self love. It revealed so many things about myself that I needed to face. It helps you understand that it is you that is responsible for how you feel. Your emotions are neutral and it is you and your experience that gives a name to how you feel. Relationships are a mirror of what you give out to your external energy. My children will learn t ...more
Feather Snowglitter
Read this book, I must say a few things about what she said it's true, and you can learn from it if you want to.
And there are some good tips you can add into your life. I read it not because I have relationship troubles, yes I'm a divorcee, but my divorce was loooong way back before I even know about this book. Could this book help me in my relationship if I read it back then? I think it will give me some peace of mind that the decision that I've made it's the right one.
Back then I have to strug
Excellent! Describes the different levels of life and your happiness, using the metaphor of a house. Basement right up to the top floor of happiness - in order to move up to being happy on that floor, you must start in the basement, and clean house floor by floor, before you can be on that happy floor. Each floor represents what stage of healing you are on. The book is geared for "love relationships" but I found it was so easy to interpret the help for any problem you are feels like ...more
Renee Cascone
This book was such an easy read and I could really relate to the stories. It's about finding the love you want from within. It's pretty basic knowledge that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. This just reinforces the idea that we need to love ourselves unconditionally and that wherever we are in life, is where we are supposed to be in order to further our personal growth and enlightenment. To sum it up, love yourself unconditionally and trust in the flow of life.

I gave
This book is so wonderful! It is not an easy read, nor is it a fast read. You'll need to pause frequently to digest what Ms. Vanzant is saying. You'll take a good hard look at yourself, but it's something that will be needed. I sobbed my way through this book; you may or may not do the same.

My one quibble, and the reason I do not give the book 5 stars, is Ms. Vanzant references the influential power of things that happen to you while you are still in the womb. I am not sure I buy that, but I do
Tru Royalty
Loves house this book has made me face a lot of choices I have made in life, it has shown me that of all the qualities I thought I possess I didn't possess the most important and only quality to have a successful life LOVE. I will constantly refer back to this book I moved through the book without "mastering" each of the floor levels but as long as I received the principle of Love I'm going to make it. This has given tremendous insight and hope. I recommend it to everyone regardless of the level ...more
I remember giving this book to my mom when she and my dad split up. The funny thing to me looking back now is that I am still "in my meantime" ... which kind of makes me want to read the book again and see if I missed something - or makes me feel like a lot of Spiritual Self Help books aren't really worth much...

However, I do think that Iyanla was one of the first authors I accessed that gave me the freedom to be me and to be where I was and to just try to grow - even if I didn't realize it at t
Jul 26, 2009 Katherine rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all girls who went through recent breakups
Recommended to Katherine by: Justine Miley
I read this book when I went through a big break up in 2005 when I thought my world was turning upside down. This book got me through!

I just reread this book now in 2009 and it still as relevant and helpful as when I read it 4 years ago - it's a great reminder of focusing on yourself when you're "in the meantime" periods of your life and that instead of spending your time freaking out or not knowing where you are, just know that these are times when you learn most about yourself and spend time l
In The Meantime is an excellent book for a brokenhearted man or woman. Self-help guru, Iyanla Vanzant uses housecleaning as her central analogy. She tells us how we can avoid the same romantic relationship mistakes by doing a mental housekeeping, cleaning the windows, closets, floor, doors and corners of our minds in order to overcome past pains and hurts, past memories and disappointments. Vanzant says we must clean out our heads and souls if we want to one day find true love and happiness.
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In Peace From Broken Pieces New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant she recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learnedfrom the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughters 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day. Like a phoenix ri ...more
More about Iyanla Vanzant...
One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth Yesterday, I Cried Peace from Broken Pieces Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color Until Today!: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind

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“You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.” 165 likes
“You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.” 148 likes
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