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The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-To-Be
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The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips, and Advice for Dads-To-Be

3.63 of 5 stars 3.63  ·  rating details  ·  1,389 ratings  ·  173 reviews
This indispensable book explores the emotional, financial, and even physical changes the father-to-be may experience during his partner's pregnancy. Written in an easy-to-absorb format and filled with sound advice and practical tips for men on such topics as, how to make sense of your conflicting emotions, how pregnancy affects your sex life, and how to start a college fun ...more
ebook, 352 pages
Published September 1st 2010 by Abbeville Press (first published 1995)
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(showing 1-30 of 2,006)
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Scott Rhee
So, it’s the big day. My wife and I are going to the hospital to be admitted, and in a few short hours (hopefully) we will be delivering a healthy baby girl into the world, and I have to say that I’m much less nervous than I would have been had I not read Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash’s excellent daddy-to-be prep guidebook “The Expectant Father”.

I’m still nervous, of course, but many of my fears and confusions have been allayed somewhat by the thorough and straightforward research done by Brot
...more
Randy
Jan 13, 2009 Randy rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: New Fathers who are incredibly stupid and/or bored
Kind of a lot of extraneous information gets in the way of what should be a much shorter book. This book insulted my intelligence. I guess this wasn't really what I was looking for. It's too broad to be of any real use to me. I much prefer brief, no-bullshit specific advice on things that are not subjective. This just came across as a really well-meaning collection of good things which don't really match up with each other. Who wants to sift through that? Especially new fathers or fathers to be. ...more
Josh
When you’re having a baby, almost everyone whose had one has some advice for you, whether you want it or not. Unfortunately, it’s still considered rude in our society to tell those people to shut up.
This book is kind of like that. It’s more or less one person’s opinions and experience with a few studies thrown in. The difference between this and some lady you see at a restaurant is that you can tell the book to shut up.
I ended up skimming quite a bit of the book (Is it bad that I skipped the “wh
...more
Madasi
Oct 28, 2007 Madasi rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Any expectant dads
This book is fantastic. The first time you and your wife become pregnant, books will start appearing out of thin air telling her every minute detail of what is happening each day of the pregnancy, what the baby is doing now, how big it is, what might go wrong now, and how to deal with it. If you are like is, you'll end up with 2.3 copies of each book on the subject.
This book is different, because it is for the father. It not only tells you what is going on with your wife, and future offspring,
...more
Tony
Reading this book while watching my wife rest during labor has been one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. I wish I would have read this book as soon as we discovered we were pregnant but the insight was still very well-received. All dads-to-be should read this!
Chad Warner
An informative book for expectant fathers. Each chapter deals with a different stage of pregnancy, and tells what’s happening with the woman (physically and emotionally), what’s happening with the baby, and what’s happening with you (the man). The author references many medical and psychological studies, but also adds anecdotes from his own experience, which provides just enough humor.

The author’s stance is that men shouldn’t bottle up their feelings, but should be open to expressing them, and s
...more
David Marino
I love the fact that there is a book dedicated to the sorely underrepresented portion of the population known as fathers. In many pregnancy or newborn books, words for the father are usually relegated to amusing anecdotes or sidebars. The Expectant Father puts dads at the forefront (as one might anticipate).

However, for a book with such an extensive bibliography and resource section, I found much of the information inaccurate or unhelpful. Another review already mentioned this, but bumpers are o
...more
David
This book was fantastic! It provides lots of great information and is a fun read - it is definitely a book written by a guy for guys. While written in a format such that each chapter corresponds to each month of the pregnancy, you should just read the whole thing (I did). Other than the first few pages of each chapter, which talk about how the baby, the mother and you are feeling, the rest of the chapter does not relate much to the specific month. For example, chapter three talks a lot about mon ...more
Matt

If you are the type of person who likes information conveyed in more of a reference, straightforward, and bullet pointed manner, then this is your book of choice for all things fatherhood. I appreciated the breadth of knowledge covered (I don't think any stone was left unturned) and I certainly learned more than I could have ever hoped.

But this is also my only complaint about the book. Since every stone was unturned, there weren't any curveballs, there wasn't any long winded diatribes or rants,
...more
Colleen
I purchased this book for my husband when I was pregnant because I wanted him to be able to relate to what I was going through. I ended up reading it and found it to be very helpful for me, too! The month by month format is straightforward and I appreciated the breakdown of what the dad might be feeling, what the mom is experiencing, and how baby is developing.
Harvey
Brott offers fairly comprehensive advice on active fathering and is a good advocate for new dads in a sexist society that still understands women to be the primary nurturer. Brott examines the way men are socialized away from childcare and makes the case for parity. Informed by this feminist commitment, Brott explains on a month by month basis what is going on with you, your partner, and the baby as you approach birth. He's frequently amusing. A good book.
Dan Koulomzin
Not only is this the best book I've seen for expectant fathers, but it might be the best book I've seen for expectant parents. Sure, the focus is on the father's relationship to the pregnancy and his partner, but this book does an excellent job of addressing the issues in an even-handed and calm manner. The author, though rather manly (an ex-marine), isn't trying to pigeon-hole fathers-to-be into some hyper-manly role... instead he takes a very modern and sensitive approach to what it means to b ...more
Aaron
Fun fatherhood book. Funny, and realistic. Assumes you’ll have another comprehensive “this is what your baby is doing” book, so it focuses -- month by month -- more on how the father is feeling, and what is going through your mind (assuming you’re the dad).

Covers a lot of topics like finances, how to help your partner through the more difficult parts of pregnancy, sex (of course), preparation, other things to look into ahead of time. Some parts felt a little too whiny about the plight of the fa
...more
Matthew
I was worried this book would have the same content as female-focused pregnancy books but then sprinkle in a few corny jokes about football or guns. I was relieved that wasn't the case. Instead, this book is a very genuine overview of issues that might interest expectant fathers. One of the first chapters, for example, is on the costs of medical procedures (which is one of the main issues on my mind these days, honestly). And each chapter gives tips on how a husband can best support their wife d ...more
Jacob
Really the only choice for a pregnancy book for men. Unlike many of the other books on the market that are written more like an encyclopedia and are extremely repetitive when read from cover to cover (like What to Expect When You're Expecting) this book gave just the right amount of information in a very easy to read format. I love the focus on the emotional state of the dad/partner, which is something that barely gets a footnote in other books. This is a subject that most ignore, even though it ...more
cubbie
imperfect and incomplete, but gentle, thoughtful, useful, hopeful.

(of course, i am still terrified. and excited. and terrified.)
Mona
Great book for lending out to expectant Dads.
Jerzy
Overall full of really solid advice on how to prepare for your child's arrival: from dreary things like saving money for school or setting up a will, to sensible checklists of what to pack for the hospital, what to expect during labor, what to buy for the baby (or put on your registry), etc. There's a nice short overview of baby psychology, of the various childbirth methods (Lamaze, Bradley, etc.), & of a few special situations like being a deployed military dad, dealing with infertility, ad ...more
Dan
A great book for a dad-to-be who wants to be involved. It has advice for how to help your partner, how to help yourself (it can get stressful for everyone) and how to make sure you're taken seriously by doctors and family.

That's an important message, but thankfully I think 'dads should be involved' has penetrated the consciousness of the medical profession. Much of the book is devoted to ways to politely but firmly ensure that you aren't just treated as the person who ferries the important paren
...more
Vincent
Well, who knew, I knew so little (actually, I knew!). I had been reading along as Nico grows inside Jessica's belly, but I just had to finish the 9th month and subsequent chapters the past week. Impending Joy/Fear tells me I need to start reading about infant and toddler care.

Thankfully, Jessica has had a fairly normal pregnancy, and little morning sickness, so the loads of advice in the early months really didn't come into play. Of course, we are 8 weeks out from our due date, but the last coup
...more
Jesse
Mar 15, 2015 Jesse rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Expectant fathers :-)
Recommended to Jesse by: My wife
I really wish goodreads would let you give half stars, because I liked this more than 3, but not sure I can give it 4 stars. Anyhow, this isn't the kind of book you read from start to finish. Each chapter basically details what's going on physically, psychologically, developmentally with your partner, the baby, and you (the expectant father) during each month of the pregnancy. It's pretty informative, but also has a lot of humor thrown in. I started reading it about a month and a half into Kerri ...more
Calen
This review hits the mark: http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/...

"It also has some helpful information on what the father’s role should be. Not surprisingly, it’s not pissing off the mother, and not breaking the baby."

I would add to that, "try to actually give a #$*&" and that's pretty much the jist of the book, it could have as easily been a 20 page pamphlet and accomplished the same goal without all the "why won't society understand my interest in parenting?" whining, but it occurs to m
...more
Mick
Apr 16, 2008 Mick rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: dads to be
It feels like an eternity since I read this book in preparation of my first child's birth (who's only 10 weeks old). That being said, it served as a concise, and positive, guide to the months leading to a child's birth.

I found it to have a good, practical perspective that often seemed at odds to the books targeted to expectant moms that are much more detailed and much more prone to eliciting paranoia.

That being said, I would not rely this book alone as your guide to the months leading to the b
...more
Kyle Pennekamp
This is one of the better books I've read during Ginny's pregnancy. It's very practical and very, if I may say so, manly: it talks about how most of the emotional insanity that your wife is going through, you just don't understand. And you shouldn't be expected to understand it... just support it. I know it's also hard for guys to put into words the way we feel during a pregnancy, sits it's a mostly intellectual exercise for us, as opposed to the chemical and physical one it is for our wives. Th ...more
Mark Davis
There is definitely some good information in this book - I especially liked the quip about how a pregnant woman's brain actually shrinks, and I did not take the author's advice to keep that fact from my wife. however, the book also seems to assume most readers are very needy, emotionally insecure men, and spends a lot of time on those subjects, along with frequent ads for the author's other books.

it's worth reading, but not the best.
Greg
Apr 02, 2010 Greg rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Greg by: Allison Gulati
At the beginning of our pregnancy I read parts of books my wife was reading and skimmed a couple other father-to-be books but was finding it really difficult to connect with anything. I felt like I was reading because I was obligated to, not because I wanted to, which was not a great feeling since I was (and am) excited about being a father. This book was recommended to me and I would recommend it myself to any expectant father. Brott uses statistics and social and cultural examples in a way tha ...more
Mike
Technically there are a couple chapters left as we've got 11 weeks left in our first pregnancy but this book has been pretty invaluable. Though Brott sometimes drifts into some very Berkeley-esque oddness in parenting and sometimes some weirdly sexist stereotyping for the most part it gives a lot of insight to feelings fathers go through that don't seem to be addressed in other resources. My wife has found a lot of things in here she hadn't read about either. The book is practical in its layout ...more
Brandon Stiver
This book was an enjoyable read. I didn't know how much I would actually enjoy it going into it, but Brott's writing style is very simple and flows nicely. I've actually found learning about pregnancy to be quite interesting and this book helped my own knowledge more than anything. I appreciate the unique aspect of this book in that it is geared directly towards the father, makes sense with the title, I know. But most other pregnancy books are totally geared towards women. That may be with good ...more
Nathan Mckinney
I really enjoyed slowly reading through this book as my wife and I went through our first pregnancy together. It is a very practical read that goes chapter by chapter guiding you through the many joys and challenges that come with every month of pregnancy. In each chapter he walks you through "What's Going on with Your Partner", "What's Going On with the Baby", and "What's Going on with You." I didn't agree with everything that Brott had to say, and our experiences didn't line up every month wit ...more
Robert
This book has a lot of useful information in it. Some of it can get a bit overwhelming (the financial, and making a will), but at least the author throws everything out there on the table. I felt that after reading this I am more aware of things, and what needs to be done. Brott does a good job taking all the different aspects between health, picking out a name, and searching for baby sitter and breaks them down. I am confident that my wife and I can go back and use some of this information almo ...more
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“When my wife got pregnant with our first child, I was the happiest I’d ever been. That pregnancy, labor, and the baby’s birth was a time of incredible closeness, tenderness, and passion. Long before we’d married, my wife and I had made a commitment to participate equally in raising our children. And it seemed only natural that the process of shared parenting should begin during pregnancy.” 0 likes
“Some fascinating new research has found that oral sex may actually make the pregnancy safer. Work with me here. Gustaaf Dekker, a professor at the University of Adelaide, did a study comparing forty-one women who had preeclampsia (a condition marked by dangerously high blood pressure) and forty-four who didn’t. He found that 82 percent of the women without preeclampsia gave their partner regular blow jobs, but only about 40 percent of the women who had the condition did. According to Dekker, “the protective effect of oral sex was strongest if the woman actually swallowed the semen rather than coughing it onto the pillow.” So now, when he’s counseling couples who have had trouble in the past carrying a pregnancy to term, he tells them, “Semen exposure is good, and you could think of oral sex.” 0 likes
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