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The Erotic Silence of the American Wife

3.84  ·  Rating Details  ·  92 Ratings  ·  7 Reviews
Told in women’s own words, this revolutionary book broke the silence surrounding women and adultery
Dalma Heyn knows that wives have affairs—and why. She’s spoken with hundreds of women who, desperate to break free of their quest to be the stereotypical “perfect wife,” have reluctantly looked outside their marriages to find the pleasure and connection that eluded them. Her
ebook, 320 pages
Published February 8th 2011 by Open Road Media (first published May 30th 1992)
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Sep 17, 2014 Amy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I don't think this book was what I was expecting but it was alright. I thought it was interesting how these women felt they needed to transform into the "Wife" when the husband didn't make any indication that he wanted a certain kind of wife. I can see how some people can feel like they have to appear to be a certain way in their married life but I would think in this day that we choose our spouse because we like who they are before marriage. I would strive to make sure my daughters know they sh ...more
Greg Davis
Aug 22, 2015 Greg Davis rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
While the book is becoming quickly dated, published nearly a quarter century ago, the analysis, insight and the comments from interviewees still sound fresh and relevant.

However, and knowing the tome was not intended as a gender-balanced look at infidelity, multiple comments nonetheless, implicit and explicit, posited that (only) women are 'made to feel...' or 'didn't realize what the consequences were...' or 'were asked to be...' or 'were trained..' or 'were stifled...' or 'gave up...' or were
Stasa Fritz
Aug 22, 2008 Stasa Fritz rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Men ... valuable insights.
A series of interviews with women who have had affairs and felt it helped their lives and/or their marriages. This book does not stand up as a serious "study" into why women have affairs, but it does stand up as valuable insight.

In the sense that it provides a window into the frustrations and the libidos of married women, instead of men, it is ground breaking.

Marriage is all about compromises and this illustrates when perhaps too many compromises were made up front.
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Jun 23, 2008 Bethany rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Spoiled some book endings for me, but really got me intellectually curiosity was alive and tearing into this book.
Apr 24, 2011 Kate rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sex, women, gender
I got bored with this. At first it was quite interesting, but eventually turned very repetitive and presumptuous.
Aug 21, 2015 Elizabeth rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: women, get-again
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Dalma Heyn is a New York Times bestselling author and psychotherapist who has worked for twenty-five years to help women develop the best possible intimate relationships, while still flourishing as individuals. Her books, which explore the loss of self that many women experience within marriage, have been lauded as revolutionary.
More about Dalma Heyn...

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