Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You
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Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

3.75 of 5 stars 3.75  ·  rating details  ·  265 ratings  ·  84 reviews
What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade's book? This is Rico Slade's goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero.

Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can...more
Paperback, 112 pages
Published February 4th 2011 by Eraserhead Press
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Death by Zamboni by David David KatzmanGrundish and Askew by Lance CarbuncleA Coupla Shades of Taupe by Court BurbackUncle Sam’s Carnival of Copulating Inanimals by Kirk JonesRico Slade Will Fucking Kill You by Bradley N. Sands
Books That Make You Vomit With Joy!
5th out of 66 books — 66 voters
Vacation by Jeremy C. ShippJohn Dies at the End by David WongHELP!  A Bear is Eating Me! by Mykle HansenSatan Burger by Carlton Mellick IIIApeshit by Carlton Mellick III
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24th out of 206 books — 163 voters


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Community Reviews

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Stephen
***A BRIEF INTERVIEW WITH RICO SLADE***

Interviewer: “So, Mr. Slade, how does it feel to be the subject of new book?”

Rico Slade: [Not liking the tone of the question, Rico Slade rips the interviewer's fucking throat out after punching him in the fucking face a bunch of fucking times.]

Interview over...

That is Rico Slade in a nutshell.

I'm not exactly sure how to review this one, other than to say it was exactly what I was hoping it would be, plus a bit more. Before I spray the praise hose all ov...more
Dan Schwent
Rico Slade's arch-nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is plotting to destroy the Earth and only Rico Slade can stop him. Rico Slade embarks on an orgy of destruction to find his arch enemy. But what does all this have to do with Chip Johnson, the man who plays Rico Slade in countless movies? Can Johnson's psychologist get to him before he gets to the actor who plays Baron Mayhem?

Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a hilarious tale about an actor who has snapped and thinks he's the character he's played in co...more
Shovelmonkey1
Jul 10, 2012 Shovelmonkey1 rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who liked 80s action films and parody
Recommended to Shovelmonkey1 by: bizarro boys
Shovelmonkey1 fucking read this.

Shovelmonkey1 read this on the fucking train. There was no killing there. But if Rico Slade was there he would have fucking killed you. Or at least given you a dead arm.

Shovelmonkey1 read this and immediately became a fervent convert to the high art of badassery.

Shovelmonkey1 is now armed with a tuna fish (which is not as dangerous as a swordfish but it was the nearest she could get) and a bandolier of water balloons hand grenades.

Shovelmonkey1 has burned her ward...more
Caris
A couple of years ago, I was blown by a German boytoy.

By “I,” of course, I mean “my mind,” and by “German boytoy,” I mean Herman Hesse. I was reading a book called Steppenwolf, in which a relatively ordinary man, Harry Haller, grows to believe that his body harbors two distinct personalities: his own mundane self and another that is based and animalistic. As the novel progresses, Haller is subjected to a number of strange and surreal situations that lead him to question his identity. Rico Slade...more
Steve Lowe
Bradley Sands will fucking entertain you. Because that’s what Bradley Sands does. He writes funny books about disturbed movie stars who think they are the action heroes they portray in their movies. He writes about these guys doing things like back-flipping, and throat-ripping, and catch-phrasing, and face-kicking, and other good shit like that.

Bradley Sands doesn’t care if you laugh or not. Bradley Sands doesn’t give a shit about entertaining you. He just does it because he’s Bradley Fucking Sa...more
Mark
Feb 15, 2012 Mark added it
Recommends it for: Bruce Willis, Jason Statham and Dame Judi Dench
Recommended to Mark by: Dan Schwent
Shelves: never-again, bizarre
The last few weeks have seen me up to my eyes most nights in motherf**cking and slaughter not, you understand, because Poole has suddenly become a hot bed of naughtiness well at least not down my street but because I have been wading my way through the bleak vision of Baltimore given us by 'The Wire'. Ths is an amazing series of investigations into drug wars, corruption and embezzlement all heavily flavoured with cursing, shooting and sex in no particular order or proportions and it performed th...more
Anthony Chavez
This was quite the thrill ride. Bradley Sands did an awesome job making your stereotypical action star Chip Johnson go nuts and lose his grip on reality while his mind deteriorates, blending his action role of Rico Slade with his everyday life. Seeing the scene shift from what "Rico Slade" was doing AKA Chip doing as Rico, and then seeing what was really happening from someone elses perspective was downright hilarious, not to mention there are awesome chapter titles to boot.

Bradley does a great...more
Brandon
I've been so busy lately that it took me almost a week to read a 112 page book. This is sad. I am a sad Brandon. That being said, there really isn't a whole lot to say about this one.

Honestly, this is totally insane. There's no better word to describe it, really. There are a lot of awesome one-liners and the humor is just completely off the wall. Next time I threaten someone, I'm totally going to tell them that I plan on "punching them in the fucking face a bunch of fucking times".

Short review i...more
Bridget
This one is about an action movie star who basically loses it & thinks he is his movie character in real life. Loved the main character's badassness (I know it's not a word yet still appropriate for the main character), but this one left me shaking my head. Had some hilarious moments skewering the action genre heroes like Rambo, Die Hard & any Arnold movie that were great. However the language & depravity to levity ratios were a bit to out of whack for me to really enjoy it. I hate t...more
Lea
Oh, Bradley Sands -- why the truck stop incident?!

Okay, it would be easy to focus on RICO SLADE (said in a deep, booming voice), but I found Chip Johnson to be the more interesting character. Watching Chip's mental deterioration was heartbreaking to me, even as I laughed at the rest of the book.

This is another one of those books that I don't want to say too much about for fear of ruining it for those who haven't read it yet. I can't imagine anyone reading this and not enjoying some aspect of it...more
Kate
Jul 07, 2011 Kate rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Those who practice badassery on a daily basis
Shelves: bizarro
This book gets 5 stars for the complete tomfoolery and badassery that can be found between the pages of this highly entertaining book cover.

To be honest, I purchased the book just because I had to have this cover adorn my shelves, but the book turned out to be one of Bradley Sands masterpieces as well. I laughed, I accidentally punched myself in the face (just because my alter-ego told me to do so), and I gave myself a skydiving wedgie on my 5th tandem jump (I'm just lucky my instructor that ti...more
Melki
Two Big Stinkfingers Way Up!!! Hours of nasty, throat-ripping fun!
Melki will buy Rico Slade several cases of honey roasted peanuts
if Rico Slade will one day sit next to Melki's mother-in-law on
a plane...
Christopher tm
Jul 01, 2011 Christopher tm rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Fans of absurdist lit and goofy humor
Recommended to Christopher by: Bradley Sands
At this point, I've probably agonized over writing this review longer than Bradley Sands took to write the book.

I'm not having trouble reviewing Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You because I *liked* it; I've no problem admitting I enjoy offbeat or lowbrow things. Trouble is I feel like a farmer what's been abducted by aliens and anally probed, and now I not only have to explain what happened to the sheriff, but I gotta tell Missus Farmer that in the future a finger or two might not be an unwelcome...more
Peter Goutis
Sometimes we get caught up in "beautiful prose" or "coming of age story" and forget the reason we started reading. It was because it was fun. It made us forget reality for a minute. And Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You does just that. It's fun as hell. And I couldn't stop reading it no matter how immature it felt.

The synopsis for Rico Slade does not do Rico Slade justice. But granted, if the synopsis was written "right" it would ruin the story. The story really doesn't reveal itself until a few...more
Edmund Colell
A hell of a lot of hot-blooded fun. Like, if-Preacher-was-adapted-to-literature hot-blooded fun. But Rico Slade doesn’t give a crap about Preacher, or comics, or being compared. Rico Slade only allowed himself to be in a book written by Bradley Sands because reality would not be able to handle him.

The book opens with a plane-jacking scene involving a swordfish-wielding villain and the protagonist tearing out throats. Normally that would be enough for me to say “Yup, that’s awesome” and call it a...more
Chris Eng
Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is the book Mark Leyner would come up with if he'd been up for a few days and decided to enter the Three Day Novel Writing Competition by composing a response to Fight Club after watching Commando several times on repeat.

That's not a diss.

RSWFKY is easily the best bizarro book I've read and one I'll probably read a few more times again. It touches on masculinity, gender roles, homosexuality, mass media and problems of the psyche in a package which may be conside...more
Jess Gulbranson
In public, Bradley Sands may deny that he is the heir to the lush absurdity of Mark Leyner's fiction, but I am here to affirm it. RSWFKY is an example of how to do absurd (or Bizarro, if that tag is for you) and satire without it becoming a parody of itself. The book offers no apologies for its over-the-top madness, and while his fellows lock into other flavors of absurdity(Jordan Krall with horror, Anderson Prunty with magic realism), Bradley Sands seems to be making his mark as a Bizarro humor...more
Natalie
A writhing romp through everything I love/hate about blockbuster action films and everything everyone hates about men (& some women).

This is the place to enjoy more good bad stuff in print than anyone could ever get away with on the big screen!



My copy is going up on GR swap, get it while it's hot!
Nicholas Karpuk
"Wait, what the hell just happened?" was my initial response when I completed this. It was a blur of high-stakes wackiness, and by the time I might have grown tired of the broad humor which occasionally strayed into lazy Hollywood stereotypes, it was already over.

But oddly I have fond feelings about it despite the dialogue that sometimes felt clunky, and not always in an ironically bad sort of way.

The title and the summary promised me hilarious, high-stakes cheesiness, and I was a trifle disappo...more
Marvin
I need to give this book five stars. If I don't, Rico Slade will fucking kill me.

And you do not want Rico Slade after your ass. He's Arnold, The Rock, Dolph, and Sylvester all rolled into one. He will rip your throat out faster than the Taco Bell Chihuahua can say "Yo Quiero Taco Bell."

The problem is there is no Rico Slade. Rico is just an actor named Chip Johnson who plays Rico. He is slovenly, balding, and is like Rico only in his mind. Yet when Chip goes postal in Hollywood, the fate of the w...more
Kris Lugosi

Meet Rico Slade:
Rico Slade is the type of guy to breeze through a room and leave nothing but fire and destruction in his path. Rico Slade is the type of guy to rip an old ladies throat out...just because he's Rico Fucking Slade! Rico Slade don't care what you think of him cause with his size 20 zebra skinned boots he could stomp your face in while back kicking you in the ribcage before he rips your fucking throat out! Rico Slade just don't give a fuck when it comes to saving the world from his a...more
Emory
The title says it all, “Rico Slade will Fucking Kill You!” Bradley Sands has served up a quick action-packed read with his 2011 novel from Lazy Fascist Press, but there is more to it than just an action hero on a rampage.
Within the covers of “Rico...” Sands deals with issues of identity, whether intentionally or not. The blurring of reality and fantasy, self-esteem/image, stereotypes; how we see ourselves and others forms the backbone of this story. Through the character of Rico Slade and the...more
Haley
This is hilariously bad. I'm not sure if it's intentionally bad or just bad. It seems like it is supposed to be a parody of all the terrible action films but mostly it's just badly written. Here are some gems. No context is given because none is required...or really present if you read it yourself.

"Rico Slade picks up the large missile and speed-walks away from the bathroom. Fireworks go off inside it. Passengers stare at the large missile. They are distressed but mildly aroused."

"Kent swings at...more
Jonathan Moon

Rico Slade reads like ‘Falling Down’ with a sense of humor rather than a sense of injustice. Except, of course, instead of a reserved and frustrated Michael Douglas we have Rico F’n Slade- the most awesome action star Hollywood has ever ogled. The story starts out snappy as the man behind Rico’s badassness, Chip Johnston, has himself a wee-little breakdown. As his mental stability wanes Chip/Rico cuts a swath of comedic chaos across Hollywood tailed by his hard timing psychologist Harold Schwar...more
Paulo "paper books always" Carvalho
Weak book. Review to come.

I will not dwelt much time to it because it's not worth it. It's a book about a TV action character(think Arnold Schwarzenegger) and the person who play it. Imagine now that the person thinks he is really this said character (Rico Slade) and there you go.

If you read some stupid, over do, action movie - then you arrive here. It's small novella. Read it at your own risk.

Sorry. I can't say anything good besides giving me some laughs...
Grant Wamack
Chip Johnson plays action hero Rico Slade-a fusion between Chuck Norris and Sylvester Stallone. Sadly, Chip Johnson, who is balding, shares absolutely nothing with his action hero counterpart.

Chip Johnson begins to lose his grip on reality and believes he is Rico Slade. He runs around causing real and imagined terror. His psychotherapist chases after him and his money in an attempt to fix his rapidly disintegrating marriage which can only be saved by buying a piece of expensive bling for his wif...more
Sheldon
In short, there's one word that I would use to describe Rico Slade will Fucking Kill You by Bradley Sands: Hillarious! Several times, I found myself laughing out loud during the book. Okay, that's too short of a review, so let me see if I can expand on this.

The novel follows the antics of Chip Johnson, a Hollywood movie actor famous for his role as the action movie character Rico Slade, who has a penchant for ripping out throats. After a particularly stressful day, Chip snaps and comes to believ...more
Sean Ferguson
Rico Slade will indeed kill you. The man, he's on a mission to stop Baron Mayhem from destroying the planet with a bomb that can eliminate everything but the world's currency. However, if you step in his way, he has no qualms about tearing your throat out with his bare hands; whether you're a middle-aged tourist walking the streets of Hollywood, or you're a grandmother on an airplane. But the story is deeper than that. Rico Slade is just a character in an action movie series. Chip Johnson is th...more
Greg Bates
As I read more of the bizarro genre, I've come to the conclusion that its books can be generally divided into one of two camps: "weird" bizarro and "funny" bizarro. "Weird" Bizarro focuses on shocking and often disgusting the reader with impossible situations involving demons and vaginas and gore (see: everything Carlton Mellick III has ever written), while "funny" bizarros are in essence pitch-black comedies, taking a situation that could never occur in mainstream literature and pulling it to i...more
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“Sometimes the good guy rips out innocent people's throats. That's just something the world need to live with if it wants the good guy to keep saving the day.” 9 likes
“I will fucking kill you and anyone else who gets in the way of me and my tunes.” 3 likes
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