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6th out of 51 books
—
45 voters
Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives
You want your kids to grow up into healthy adults. You want to see them take responsibility for their behavior, their values, their lives. But maybe you've discovered that simply telling them to "do the right thing" isn't enough. From toddler tantrums to teenage temptations, you've got to help them take ownership of their behavior, feelings, and attitudes. But how?
Establis
...morePaperback, 223 pages
Published
October 23rd 2001
by Zondervan Publishing Company
(first published April 1st 1998)
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sounds good so far. Just through the introduction. Hoping the writing is less pretentious than the original. These are the things we read because we know they're right and help us get to where He can change us.
This was one of those books that encouraged me to keep going on as we've started, and that gave me some good ideas about how to do that. I like their concept that in order to give your kids self-control, you've got to exercise it yourself. You have to be clear and firm about what they may and may not do, and with those boundaries absolutely inviolable, you then have the space to be very compassionate towards your frustrated kids. If the rules aren't up for debate, then you can sympathize with ki...more
I received this book from a friend who has two daughters (ages 3 yrs and 6 mos), and she highly recommend I read it some point during my daughter's toddlerhood. I enjoyed the ideas, especially these quotes:
Children are not born with boundaries. Too little freedom to gain experience, the child forever remains a child. Too much freedom, the child is in danger of hurting him/herself.
If parents give without boundaries, children learn to feel entitled and become self-centered and demanding. If parent...more
Children are not born with boundaries. Too little freedom to gain experience, the child forever remains a child. Too much freedom, the child is in danger of hurting him/herself.
If parents give without boundaries, children learn to feel entitled and become self-centered and demanding. If parent...more
I've been struggling with my 8-year-old. He's very independent which often translates to bossy. If he doesn't get what he wants he will have a tantrum. He likes to argue.
Things I liked in this book . . . .
You and your child each have a different job. Your child's job is to test your resolve, so he can learn about reality. A parent's job is to withstand the test, including anger, pouting, tantrums and much more.
Consequences transfer the need to be responsible from the parent to the child.
The fo...more
Things I liked in this book . . . .
You and your child each have a different job. Your child's job is to test your resolve, so he can learn about reality. A parent's job is to withstand the test, including anger, pouting, tantrums and much more.
Consequences transfer the need to be responsible from the parent to the child.
The fo...more
I cringe at religious jargon, but I thought this book was worth a read. When I was able to overlook some of the language, I found myself using some of the information in daily conversation with my daughter. Some of what the authors proposed I had a hard time with (intrinsic motivation develops out of extrinsic motivation, for example), but it was a helpful book and worth reading. The line I have used most is, "You are responsible FOR yourself, and you are responsible TO others." My child feels r...more
An avid fan of the original text "Boundaries," I was perhaps, overly optimistic about this book. It is excellent but not a huge leap from the original. While the context of boundaries in raising kids is very helpful it is fairly generic. Much of the book seemed to be aimed at children who are at least school aged which is helpful only if you have not established solid boundaries before that time - in which case the original book would probably suffice. I was hopeful for something more "preventat...more
A wonderful book for parents of young kids, helping you focus on the adults you want them to become (without making them grow up too soon). It helps you identify the character qualities they could learn now - while it's easier - to help them be fulfilled and happy later on, good habits they can already establish in areas like responsibility, respect, motivation, proactivity etc. And as well as helping you help your kids, it makes you a better person and a better parent too. I think you really ca...more
This is an excellent parenting book. It was highly recommended by a mentor and it did not disappoint. The summary of this book could be: How to begin with the end in mind, the end result being a child who becomes an adult who can deal with the world's realities in a healthy and mature way.
I most was challenged by the chapter on character growth, and many of the other chapters reminded me of the "tough love" concept in a lot of Jim Dobson's books. Loving with boundaries means consistency in paren...more
I most was challenged by the chapter on character growth, and many of the other chapters reminded me of the "tough love" concept in a lot of Jim Dobson's books. Loving with boundaries means consistency in paren...more
Jul 13, 2011
Debbie
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
parents of teenagers, youth pastors
Shelves:
read-again,
essential
This is a book that is great to keep referring back to. With teenagers, every day can present a new challenge. It is helpful to know that the kid in your home really isn't from another planet. Instead they are very normal. The best part is the emphasis on natural consequences, and also how to set up consequences that fit the crime.
It is from a christian perspective, but, would certainly benefit anyone who reads it, in their parenting skills.
It is from a christian perspective, but, would certainly benefit anyone who reads it, in their parenting skills.
I found this book to be more helpful for me than the regular Boundaries book. I realized in my parenting that I was protecting my children from natural consequences for their behavior...and how doing this really is doing my children a disservice (but while I was doing it I thought I was being loving)! It was an EXTREMELY HELPFUL PARENTING book and in a world with an "entitlement" mentality, it is a MUST READ!
The information in this book is stuff I sort of already know, but it is nice to read it and reinforce it. They go on and on about how kids without boundaries will grow up to be such and such (insecure, unable to form healthy relationships, etc.), but there is not a lot of practical advice.
It comes from a Christian point of view, and Bible verses and God references are peppered throughout the book.
It comes from a Christian point of view, and Bible verses and God references are peppered throughout the book.
This book is better than the original. There is less straining to prove the metaphor of boundaries as Scriptural and more practical ideas and scripts. I like the scripts a lot.
I think the metaphor of "boundaries" is a good one. It's much less combative than the weird twist that some give of "shepherding" and "control." This is assertive, not aggressive or passive aggressive.
I think the metaphor of "boundaries" is a good one. It's much less combative than the weird twist that some give of "shepherding" and "control." This is assertive, not aggressive or passive aggressive.
It's always hard to say "no" to your sweet little one. After all, you want them to be happy and content. But, allow your child to feel the consequences of their own behavior and to understand that boundaries do exist is really the only way to prepare him to become an independent, happy child and then adult. This is a great book to use for guidelines in discipline.
It would have been much better if it was more geared towards single parents without as much help, but had some great ideas. I had to take a class that taught with this book, but it was not the book that should have been chosen for single parents.
I'm sure it would be much more beneficial to someone who isn't a single parent without the ability to have family help.
I'm sure it would be much more beneficial to someone who isn't a single parent without the ability to have family help.
Great book for parents to read and learn from to make better choices with the goal of raising their kids successfully. I read this while rasing my girls, and I give this book alot of credit toward how well my girls grew up to be independent, young ladies. Easy reading and it makes so much sense. You'll wonder why you didn't read it sooner.
I am reading this in a BBM book club, otherwise I don't know if I would have chosen to read it. I am not a 'God-fearing' person, so I skip past those parts. I don't think that adds anything to the book. The advice is great; a lot of common sense stuff. I would recommend it if bible passages don't annoy you.
Just as good as the original. Kids, especially mine, need boundaries: not too many, not too few. Really easy reading and really helpful, at least with my kids. Sometimes you need to read something like this to understand where you stand on life's important child-rearing questions.
I personally don't like all of the Biblical quotations, but I managed to ignore them (and they didn't seem to have as many as they did in their book titled Boundaries). Aside from that, I found this to be a very helpful book to start figuring out how to be a better parent.
Another great parenting book - full of practical wisdom on parenting with the end in mind. Our job is not to make our children happy, but to prepare them for adulthood.
click here to buy on Amazon
click here to buy on Amazon
Very applicable for this stage of life....and I'm sure many of their tactics will be useful in the future as well. Liked their reasoning and writing style...I hope Mike will consider reading it, too. Read it from the library but will probably buy it.
this book reiterated the same principles as the original Boundaries book. still, if you don't use them, they can't help you. children should be taught their boundaries very early these days and this book is a good way to help them.
Loved the ideas in this book... the only thing I did not like was that they were pro-spanking...( which I am not. ) So minus that, it was great and I have applied a lot of the theories and they have worked for me.
I really liked this book. Very practical & helpful. It forced me to think about how I parent, to deal with issues from my own past & family, and challenged me to do better. One I will refer to again.
Not bad... but not as good as most of the parenting books I have read. Rather broad and philosophical. As with so many other non-fiction, it could benefited from a professional write in tow to clean things up.
Excellent. Excellent book. Of all the parenting books I've read so far, by far the most important. Parenting is hard. This tells you why and how you've got to teach.
Jul 24, 2011
Kshappert
added it
Good and insightful book about how to set appropriate boundaries for children. Hopefully I can remember some of it in the heat of the moment when my girls are going after my established boundaries with jackhammers.
Another great book for boundaries with Kids as the name implies. Focuses on how boundaries help children and how not having boundaries will hurt them. Practical help.
This is a no nonsense book. Kids need boundaries - plain and simple. (everyone needs 'em). This book talks about good boundaries and how to set them and keep them.
Some what helpful if you are having issues with your child(ren). But if you are not very religious then this book is definitely not for you.
It took me along time to read. I started at least a year ago.
It took me along time to read. I started at least a year ago.
Very good book on how to have healthy boundaries with kids will still using positive disicipline and encouraging parent-child relationship.
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Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Necessary Endings and The Law of Happiness. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.
As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars aro...more
More about Henry Cloud...
As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars aro...more
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