Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition by Daniel Goleman

Dec 27, 2010 Susan rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: business, good-read, leadership, psychology, non-fiction, self-help

First, let me clarify that I have nothing overtly negative to say about this book. When I first read it back in 1995, it was wonderful to have my eyes opened to emotional intelligence. Goleman is an excellent writer and presents a great deal of thought-provoking content. Where it falls short is in teaching you how to increase and apply your emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is a brand-new book that moves way beyond teaching you what EQ is. It shows you how to increase your EQ an...more First, let me clarify that I have nothing overtly negative to say about this book. When I first read it back in 1995, it was wonderful to have my eyes opened to emotional intelligence. Goleman is an excellent writer and presents a great deal of thought-provoking content. Where it falls short is in teaching you how to increase and apply your emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is a brand-new book that moves way beyond teaching you what EQ is. It shows you how to increase your EQ and how to use it to your advantage based on 66 detailed strategies. You take an online test that comes with the book and it gives you your EQ scores and tells you which strategies will increase your EQ the most.

Enough about that, let me tell you more about what makes Goleman's book great:

Goleman, psychologist and science writer for The New York Times, explains how the rational and emotional work together to shape intelligence, using intriguing new information from neuroscience and psychology of the brain. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes.

He uses scientific data from studies based on brain imaging technologies that yield understanding of how emotions work and, argues the author, suggest ways to regulate the more negative emotions responsible for the horrendous acts of violence that are the stuff of daily headlines. The book calls for universal adoption of educational curricula that teach youngsters how to regulate their emotional responses and to resolve conflict peacefully. Along the way Goleman summarizes much of the best psychological work of the last few decades on such topics as the importance of learned optimism, the theory of multiple intelligences, the role of innate temperamental differences, and the importance of emotional intelligence in marriage, management, and medicine. The empirical data Goleman uses is well-researched. To be perfectly honest, it doesn't possess any information on improving your EQ. The only other weakness is the book is dense (the exploration of EQ is largely academic).
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May 25, 2011 محمود أغيورلي rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

الذكاء العاطفي - دانييل جولمان -
-----------------------------------
»أن يغضب أي إنسان , فهذا
أمر سهل ... لكن أن تغضب
من الشخص ا لمناسب , وفي
الوقت ا لمناسب , وللهدف
ا لمناسب , وبالأسلوب ا لمناسب
... فليس هذا بالأمر
السهل... «
من كتاب أرسطو
»الأخلاق إلى نيقوماخوس
--------------------
القدرة على السيطرة على الانفعال هي أساس الإرادة وأساس الشخصية ,
وعلى النحو نفسه فإن أساس مشاعر الإيثار فينا يكمن في التعاطف
الوجداني مع الآخرين , أي في القدرة على قراءة عواطفهم. أما العجز عن
الإحساس باحتياج الآخر , أو بشعوره بالإح...more

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Apr 28, 2009 Andy rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

It certainly contains a lot of useful info, but boy, is it ever dense! Reading it is like hacking your way through a dense jungle with a dull machete. It must also be noted that it is most definitely of the school of 80's/90's "hard-wired" thinking about the brain, and hard-sells the view that, to put it simply, mind comes from brain, and not the other way around. In other words, nature, not nurture. (For comparison, try Sharon Begley's Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain, which, oddly enough, ha...more

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Dec 16, 2008 Stevie rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: secular

Insightful book on the importance of relating well with others and being in tune with one's emotions.

Poignant Quotes:

...childhood and adolescence are critical windows of opportunity for setting down the essential emotional habits that will govern our lives.

...social intelligence is both distinct from academic abilities and a key part of what makes people do well in the practicalities of life.

social competence - how well or poorly people express their own feelings

With a complaint a person critici...more

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Aug 15, 2007 Gage marked it as to-read · review of another edition

If you're like me, you're extremely leery of anything that reeks of pop psychology. But Emotional Intelligence has no such odor. First, author Daniel Goleman is the real deal. He has his PhD, of course, as do many snake oil salesmen, but unlike these others, Goleman has academic street cred: he founded an institute at Yale, heads up another at Rutgers, and wrote science columns for the New York Times.

At first glance, I can see that this book, though written more than 10 years ago, still packs a...more

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Apr 30, 2007 Kristl rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone who throws things when angry or doesn't cry, ever

I had to read this book for a leadership academy I was in and I found this to be a surprisingly good experience.

The book introduces and explains the concept of "emotional intelligence," which, since beginning to read the book, I see is so much more important than almost any other awareness one could have on a day-to-day basis personally and professionally.

Don't be shocked, if, in describing the many levels of emotional intelligence or lack thereof, you immediately think of friends, family, and c...more

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May 13, 2010 لينه rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

شدني الكتاب أعجبني محتواه ، من الكتب التي استحثتني بشكل غريب لأصل لنهايتها ، في كل فصل فكرة وقصة جديدة ، يتحدث عن أهمية الذكاء الانفعالي و المشاعر ، و هو جانب لم أكن أعطيه من وقتي ما يستحقه ، أشعر بمشاعر كثيرة ، لم أكن أرى أهمية التفكير فيها والتعبير عنها إلا بعد قراءتي لهذا الكتاب ،
ربما ما أعيبه على هذا الكتاب هو تحدثه عن النظريات و الجانب العلمي و التركيز عليه أكثر من الجانب التطبيقي

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Oct 18, 2007 Tina rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this book after a big break up and it really opened my eyes to how I contributed to that break up. It's extremely important to have emotional intelligence and this is a fascinating discussion behind the theory and sscience of EI.

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Oct 12, 2012 Helmi Abdulaziz rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

الذكاء العاطفي

دانييل جولمان

عرض:مجتبي العلوي ..عن سلسلة عالم المعرفة صدر كتاب (الذكاء العاطفي) ، محتوياً على ثلاثة أقسام مع مقدمة، يقدم المؤلف في هذا الكتاب طريقاً جديداً للنظر في جذور أسباب أمراض الأسر والمجتمعات، ويدعو فيه إلى ثقافة العقل والقلب معاً. قام المؤلف في هذا الكتاب برحلة تأمل علمي ثاقب في عواطف الإنسان، نفهم منها معنى الذكاء، وكيفية ارتباطه بالعاطفة، ونطلع عبر صفحاته على مملكة المشاعر وتأثيرها في مسار حياتنا.

اعتمد المؤلف

على الأبحاث الطبية والدراسات التي أجريت على الدماغ البشري خلال...more الذكاء العاطفي

دانييل جولمان

عرض:مجتبي العلوي ..عن سلسلة عالم المعرفة صدر كتاب (الذكاء العاطفي) ، محتوياً على ثلاثة أقسام مع مقدمة، يقدم المؤلف في هذا الكتاب طريقاً جديداً للنظر في جذور أسباب أمراض الأسر والمجتمعات، ويدعو فيه إلى ثقافة العقل والقلب معاً. قام المؤلف في هذا الكتاب برحلة تأمل علمي ثاقب في عواطف الإنسان، نفهم منها معنى الذكاء، وكيفية ارتباطه بالعاطفة، ونطلع عبر صفحاته على مملكة المشاعر وتأثيرها في مسار حياتنا.

اعتمد المؤلف

على الأبحاث الطبية والدراسات التي أجريت على الدماغ البشري خلال العقدين الماضيين، ليخرج بآخر اكتشافات تركيبة المخ العاطفية التي تفسر كيف تهيمن قبضة العاطفة القوية على العقل المفكر، وكيف تكشف تراكيب المخ المتداخلة المتحكمة في لحظات الغضب والخوف أو الحب عن كثير من الحقائق، وأن النقص في الذكاء العاطفي أساس الكثير من مشاكل كل فرد منا، لأنه يدمر الذهن ويهدد الصحة الجسمانية بأخطار جسيمة.ويجيب المؤلف عن السؤال المهم: ما هذه المشاعر الإنسانية؟ وما مكانها في المخ؟ وهل ما ورثناه من طباع قدر محتوم، أم أن دوائر المخ العصبية دوائر مرنة يمكن أن تتعلم وتتغذى، وتقوى وفقاً للبنية التي يتأسس عليها ذكاؤنا العاطفي منذ الطفولة؟.

أما أكثر الحقائق إثارة للقلق في هذا الكتاب فهي ذلك المسح البحثي الشامل الذي يكشف كيف بات جيل الأطفال الحالي في العالم كله أكثر غضباً وجنوحاً وقلقاً واندفاعاً وعنفاً.. فهل الذكاء العاطفي يقدم علاجاً؟ .الجواب في صفحات هذا الكتاب الشيق.

لتحميل الكتاب
http://www.mediafire.com/?ddibjdrf9e2...(less)

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Oct 05, 2011 Katja rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book has produced such conflicting feelings in me that I am torn as to what to write here. On the one hand, the majority of the book is well-written, intelligent and compelling. The messages are simple yet profound, and I have to agree that the importance of social and emotional skills can’t be understated. At one point I swear the book actually read my mind as I was reading it. On some level I think Daniel Goleman and I think in much the same way, and even though the book is 15 years old n...more This book has produced such conflicting feelings in me that I am torn as to what to write here. On the one hand, the majority of the book is well-written, intelligent and compelling. The messages are simple yet profound, and I have to agree that the importance of social and emotional skills can’t be understated. At one point I swear the book actually read my mind as I was reading it. On some level I think Daniel Goleman and I think in much the same way, and even though the book is 15 years old now, on the whole it is as applicable as it ever was. *disclaimer – angry rant coming up* On the other hand, it testifies to the importance of emotional intelligence, because if I had any less, this book would be lying in pieces in my backyard. One problem is that he quite often makes the correlation = causation fallacy when citing research, which drives me bonkers. Secondly – and this is what really disappointed me - at several points throughout the book, he does one of the WORST possible things a writer can do: he catastrophises. He shamelessly talks about the degradation of society, the decrease in moral fibre, and equates rising divorce rates with lower prospects for good relationships (I absolutely cannot stand the “divorce = unhappiness, marriage = happiness” argument – are you serious Daniel Goleman?? Have we not progressed at all since the 19th century?). He cites a study that found children in their teenage years are more moody, secretive and irritable than when they were children – and uses that to support an argument that people are getting unhappier across the lifespan (really?! because that sounds like ADOLESCENCE to me). What makes the doomsday predictions particularly embarrassing is the statistics he cites regarding rising violence and cocaine use, stating expert predictions that violent crime among the young would increase drastically in the years to come. Too bad for Goleman that this “crime boom” widely predicted in the 90s never happened, and that the cocaine bubble burst that decade – resulting in the rates of both violent crime and cocaine use in the US decreasing drastically. The simple fact is that if Daniel Goleman hadn’t been so set on his overblown doomsday scenarios, his book would have been so much better – more measured, more reasonable, and much less likely to make me throw up all over it. Truthfully, he didn’t need all the catastrophising about the crumbling fibre of society to make a point for the importance of emotional intelligence – the rest of his book does that on its own. So all I can say is: on the whole it’s a great book, which could have been much better without the over-exaggerated scare tactics - much of which have since turned out to be false (which must be embarrassing for you, Daniel Goleman, but you deserved it resorting to arguments like that). I know that most of this review is an angry rant, but I've still given it four stars because I chose to be reasonable and not let those things be deal-breakers. I really did enjoy the vast majority of this book. Really.(less)

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Jun 05, 2011 Joy H. rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: might-read-again, non-fiction, psychology-emotions, audio-version

RE: _Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ_ by Daniel Goleman (first published 1995)
Added 6/5/11.
I recently came across some old notes of mine which indicated that I had listened to an audio-tape of this book. My notes said:
============================================
"I think we all can be impatient at times (often with good reason), but it's how we handle that emotion which really matters. On the audiotape entitled: "Emotional Intelligence", the autho...more

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Oct 04, 2010 Jim rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: neuroscience-cognition-behavior, favorites

This visionary book by Daniel Goleman is one of the most important in my collection. I see it as a seminal contribution to understanding the human condition, and a roadmap of practical steps for living better, both within ourselves and with those around us.

I begin by recommending the excellent review by Lars - a clear, well-written summary of the major points in the book.

Here I will focus on 3 topics from the book: 1) the evolution of brain mechanisms for emotional and rational behavior; 2) how...more

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Feb 07, 2009 Elizabeth rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: ralph

BOOKS ON TAPE # 4055 Read by Barrett Whitener 9 cassettes UNABRIDGED
9 cassetes
tape 1 ch 1 The word emotion shows us that the feeling shows us what to move away from.

The emotions of anger, fear, happiness, love, surprise, disgust, sadness have physiological behaviors which help us move away from some threat or embody some hormonal/brain function which dampens other emotions.

Has an evolutionary perspective:"The protracted period of evolution when these emotional responces were [formed:]...was a t...more

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Dec 31, 2008 Taka rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: japan_jul07-aug11, social-science

Descriptive but not very practical--

The main and only thesis of the book is: emotional intelligence is important. That's it. Goleman spends over 13 hours in this audiobook to pretty much buttress the thesis with evidence from various sources including psychology, medicine, and educational programs.

The content is interesting at times but overall, the message got repetitive and I was looking for any useful information to put to use in my daily life from the book to no avail.

Unfortunately the book...more

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Jul 30, 2008 Kressel Housman rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, psychology, unfinished, science

Carol Dweck cites this book frequently in her own book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success because it illustrates her thesis that success doesn't arise from talent or intellect but from the emotional qualities of patience and diligence. That's pretty much the point of this book, but there's more. It opens with an example of a straight A high school student whose teacher didn't write him a letter of recommendation for college, so he assaulted the teacher. All those A's won't do him a bit of go...more

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Apr 24, 2008 Jim rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

There are some interesting things in the book, things that are hard to disagree with, such as emotional skills and self-knowledge are important. I think a lot of people who liked this book focused on that self-help aspect. I have no problem with that. My problems with this book stem from the wider claims Goleman makes for EQ as a mental function.

Goleman bases this aspect of his theory on some whopping assumptions. The biggest one is the idea that emotional intelligence even exists. The main asp...more There are some interesting things in the book, things that are hard to disagree with, such as emotional skills and self-knowledge are important. I think a lot of people who liked this book focused on that self-help aspect. I have no problem with that. My problems with this book stem from the wider claims Goleman makes for EQ as a mental function.

Goleman bases this aspect of his theory on some whopping assumptions. The biggest one is the idea that emotional intelligence even exists. The main aspects of EQ he posits (self-awareness, social-awareness,etc.) aren't objectively measurable and there is no proof that they even correlate with one another on a neurological level, which we would see if these aspects were part of a measurable form of human intelligence.

Another assumption is that there is an acceptable norm of emotional intelligence. This raises the question, what about people who don't meet the norm? Under Goleman's narrow definition, people with autism, even many on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, would not qualify as possessing a desirable EQ level, neither would the introvert who prefers books to people. It is here that I found Goleman's ideas to be particularly objectionable. There's a whiff of something truly unpleasant here. However, we know that even people with severe autism are able to learn emotional skills.

Goleman makes the grand claim that, throughout history, great leaders all had high EQ levels. (As a historian, this made me cringe when I first read it.) Unless one has access to a person's psychiatric records, it is always extremely problematic to make all but the most qualified claims about the psychology of historical figures.

The EQ theory has many of the same flaws as theories of IQ. Older IQ tests assumed that intelligence was easily measured and that there was a single kind of intelligence. One frequently encountered people who had low IQ scores but who functioned intelligently or had highly advanced skills in some areas but not others. We now speak of multiple intelligences, seeing them as a skills set. We might be born with a tendency to some intelligences over others, but these are shaped by enviromental factors and can be influenced through learning, rather than something neurologically innate.

I'm willing to accept the idea that people are born with a range of abilities to recognize and respond to emotional interaction. I think these emotional responses are learned behaviors to a much greater degree than Goleman would allow. The problem with books like Goleman's is that it presents one side of a very contentious debate, but it might be the only book on the subject many people will read.

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Mar 06, 2008 Janet rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: business-management

I caught the "emotional intelligence" conversation early on with reading this seminal work by Daniel Goleman, and followed his work and then Boysatkis' work on Resonant Leadership. All of these books make the case that IQ is not as important as EQ. As the books and research progress (At Work, Primal leadership, Resonant Leadership), distinctions of what are key EQ skills are are shared. An extra step for me in my own self development of EQ was to learn how to listen to my heart versus staying in...more

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May 22, 2012 Fatima abuzaied rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

ربما ما ينقصنا في هذا العالم المعقد القدرة على السيطرة على انفعالاتنا ... يتكلم جولمان في كتابه عن علاقة الذكاء وعدمه وفي التاثير على انفعالاتنا ... يربط ذلك فسيولوجيا دماغ الانسان ...
فقد اثبت علميا ان الكثير من الاذكياء دراسيا هم اغبياء اجتماعيا... على النقيض هناك ممن اعتبرهم اغبياء دراسيا كانوا اذكياء عاطفيا ..
وعليه يرى جولمان انه من الضروري ان يتم تعليم الذكاء العاطفي في المدارس كما يتم دراسة القراءة والكتابة والحساب...

يعرض الكثير من المشاكل التي تواجه المجتمع؛ الاطفال,الازاواج ,مشاكل العمل ,...more

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May 27, 2012 Roseta rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

واحد من اهم الكتب بالنسبة ليا
ويمكن من اكثرهم تاثير فانفعالاتى
اكتر شىء شدنى وخلانى استمر فقراته وجود
المقتبسات اللى من جميع الكتب والروايات
واهم ما فيهم :-
1 انطوان دوسان
بقلبه يرى الانسان الرؤية الصحيحة فالعين لا ترى الجوهر
2- شكسبير من روايه هاملت
انت كنت انسان قبلت بالشكر
ضربات الحظ ونعمه على حد سواء
فاين هذا الانسان من ليس عبد لعاطفته
يسكن مهجتى والعين
وسويداء القلب كما تسكن انت ؟؟؟

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Dec 28, 2010 Robin rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: therapy, 2010

Though a tad repetitive and probably a bit dated with its science I was blown away by this book. I usually avoid all self-help books but gave this one ago after being recommended by my therapist. The authors ability to explain the emotional brain and systems involved in them really helped me come to accept the need to integrate emotions w/ rationality. That the control and development of emotions is not a sign of weakness but actually helps you become a fuller human being and to experience a bet...more

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Mar 12, 2009 Ednatee rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Every person must be able to understand and master his emotions if they are to succeed in life. Personal relationships suffer if they are left
unattended and ignored. Emotions can enrich our life as well as cause deprivation.

During the Victorian era, emotions were suppressed, and not often shown. Being emotional was a sign of weakness, impolite or even unwelcomed. People strove mightily to cover or contain their emotions. Not knowing how to express them properly, they chose not to express emotio...more

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Jun 09, 2013 David Bonesteel rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Daniel Goleman has written an interesting book about the physiological and social consequences of emotions and our ability to control them. He makes a convincing case for emotional competence as perhaps a greater prerequisite for success than intellectual brilliance. Many of us can probably corroborate this for ourselves by recalling very intelligent people we have known who have a tendency to sabotage themselves through their inability to deal with other people appropriately.

For me, the section...more

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May 25, 2013 Ayame Sohma rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction, psychology

Before embarking on his gargantuan research project (which includes several meta-analyses and decades of research, galloped along by recent advances in brain imaging technology) Daniel Goleman writes a compelling and convincing case, eschewing jargon and esoteric terminology for a more humanistic and compassionate argument. He was not overreacting when he saw American society looming towards a cliff of violence, signs of which included school shootings. All over the world, children are doing wor...more Before embarking on his gargantuan research project (which includes several meta-analyses and decades of research, galloped along by recent advances in brain imaging technology) Daniel Goleman writes a compelling and convincing case, eschewing jargon and esoteric terminology for a more humanistic and compassionate argument. He was not overreacting when he saw American society looming towards a cliff of violence, signs of which included school shootings. All over the world, children are doing worse on matters of emotional literacy and acumen. This, combined with a natural tendency towards aggression in some children, puts them at risk of precipitating the next Columbine massacre. More and more children exhibit signs of depression, secrecy, isolation, delinquency, drug use and violent tendencies.

The book does begins with a look at the amygdala (which is the seat of basic emotions and instinct), hypothalamus (which controls involuntary movements and produces hormones) and the neocortex, which is most developed in humans and allows us to reason deeply and profoundly, to the extent of having thoughts and feelings about our thoughts and feelings.

A gruesome and tragic emotional hijacking sets the stage for the importance of research into identifying and solving problems wrought by mismanaged impulses. After all, the word "emotion" comes from the Greek word meaning "to move." Our emotions have an almost ironclad hold on us.

While IQ was traditionally thought of as the crucial and all-encompassing ingredient of success, Project Spectrum has turned this finding on its head, with its research into multiple intelligences including leadership and social awareness. This can be observed in children in elementary school and is a better predictor of future success than IQ. For instance, a young girl who knows how to pair her classmates into best friend groupings and identify their favourite toys has the talents for negotiation and peaceful conflict resolution. The foundational pillars of empathy can be seen at work.

Mastering a musical instrument or honing one's natural gift for tennis or any other sport depends, more than anything else, on a child's desire to excel. Parents who push their own selfish aspirations onto their offspring will only foster bitterness, frustration and resentment in their children. The marshmallow restraint test, conducted on young children and followed-up decades later in life, proved an excellent predictor of self-control (which also happens to be one of the key components of learning HOW to learn).

Conversely, child rapists and sociopaths have no connections or concern for others, and as such, become glib liars and are adept at making up horrific justifications for their ghoulish and barbaric deeds. These emotional cavemen seem to be impervious to psychotherapy at present.

Dedicating oneself to charity work was shown to be an excellent remedy for anxiety and stress, but was also one of the least utilised options that was used by participants in studies. SEL classes offer hope to change this for the better in the future, and countries such as Singapore have already begun such programs. As anxiety and stress (disproportionate pressure and worry) can lead to an early death, there is a strong incentive for even adults to change their behaviour. A decade before Barbara Ehrenreich revealed the defeatism and victim-blaming that Norman Vincent Peale-style positive thinking can engender. Realism, compassion and companionship are far more crucial. Simply having someone with you who is willing to help shoulder one's burdens can even reduce repeat heart attacks and extend the lives of cancer patients.

Relationships at work and in love are more similar than we might think, and something as simple as listening, repeating the other party's concerns, and taking breaks when necessary can prevent minor spats from exploding into divorce, termination of employment, or worse. And, as one could expect, parents who arbitrarily and randomly punish their children encourage their kids to emulate such behaviour (which can be seen even in young toddlers), become bullies, and link punishment to getting caught rather than hurting others. This emulation-instinct is so powerful that it can and will override a toddler's natural empathy, which, under normal circumstances, prevent them from continuing to clobber a child who is already hurt and whimpering.

Counterintuitively, playing games such as "Purdy", where children re-enacted a school shooting (the perpetrator was named Purdy) can help them deal with trauma by exerting imagined control over a gruesome situation. Some Holocaust survivors were also observed to have recovered, at least in part, from the ever-present images of the terror and atrocities they experienced and witnessed. Therapy can give the individual control over their fears and traumas to the degree that they will never be held captive to them again.

The book concludes with a hopeful look at the future and the possible fruits of research into brain plasticity and the promises of new technology. I wish Goleman and his research crew all the best in their endeavours.(less)

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Feb 25, 2013 Graham rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Prepare for a slow read. Not that this book is poorly written, on the contrary, it is full of information and it is more like a textbook. It is fascinating. I will pick it up again and read it a second time because I have no doubt that I missed a lot. The topic is one that has always intrigued me, but as I read this book I couldn't help to think of the school tragedies. I recently learned about a school teaching its' kids the art of giving. The school was for the underprivileged. Because they ha...more

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Jun 23, 2012 Shazia rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Another book on how to expand compassion to others by understanding how emotions and our brain systems work. Goleman urges us to implement emotional intelligence workshops in schools to teach kids how to manage their emotions and learn EQ skills that will benefit them for life. He traces brain development to the time we're babies and how we learn certain patterns of emotional expression from observing our primary caregivers, namely the folks who parent us.

One of the things we learn and that dir...more Another book on how to expand compassion to others by understanding how emotions and our brain systems work. Goleman urges us to implement emotional intelligence workshops in schools to teach kids how to manage their emotions and learn EQ skills that will benefit them for life. He traces brain development to the time we're babies and how we learn certain patterns of emotional expression from observing our primary caregivers, namely the folks who parent us.

One of the things we learn and that directs our conduct later as adults is the degree to which others respond to our pain when we were babies. If we were largely ignored by our caregiver(s) when we cried or when we were in some manner of distress, we learn to hide such distress later; we learn to silently suffer through the hurt ravaging our mind and body.

Also, if our caregiver(s) were physically abusive and punished us for the slightest infraction or maybe just punished us because they had a bad day, we could manifest our trauma from those times later as bullies because we see every action by another as a threat. We lash out at whoever even dares to look our way because we think there is malice behind their action. We somehow play out the role we would have liked to take against the real bullies in our lives: our primary caregiver(s). We find our targets and hurt them as ruthlessly as we've been hurt by the very people who should have protected us.

When a child is in distress, it's very important for the caregiver to help the child talk out their feelings, according to Goleman. Too often, caregivers get distressed themselves and lose patience with their young dependents. They might end up saying things to the child in the form of verbal threats of punishment and the like that might cause further damage to the child and their capacity to cope with events in their life. On page 232, Goleman writes, "the most common cause of disability among teenagers is mental illness".

Goleman advises that "one of the key skills for anger control was monitoring their feelings--becoming aware of their body's sensations, such as flushing or muscle tensing, as they were getting angry, and to take those feelings as a cue to stop and consider what to do next rather than strike out impulsively". (p. 238)

Emotional Literacy workshops and courses are just as important as learning Math skills and should be part of all school curriculae. Our brains develop right into our adolescence to our early 20s. But what we learn from the time we're wee babies to the age of 6 can have a huge impact on our personal and professional success as adults.

I highly recommend this book to all caregivers raising children, school teachers, curriculum planners, school principals, after-school program coordinators, youth centre workers, and anyone else who wants to see our kids grow up with the right emotional tools to help them adapt to the challenges on their life journeys.

There are a lot of other great points raised in this book about different types of personalities and possibly how these personalities develop with many real-life examples and research findings. Read it to be better informed about EQ and how to be more aware of your own EQ. (less)

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Jun 18, 2012 Vladimir Vasquez rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Lamentablemente, en nuestros tiempos, los libros de autoayuda se han convertido en una suerte de plaga, asaltados por una serie de autores deshonestos que solo desean saltar a la siguiente secuela para volver a cobrar el cheque.
Sin embargo hay otros libros, como este, que mas que un libro de autoayuda, es una análisis sobre los nuevos hallazgos (en el momento en que se editó) sobre la mente humana.
Recuerdo que entonces, me pareció que el autor era un genio, me retrataba a mi mismo, tan apto para...more

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Dec 21, 2011 محمود أغيورلي rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

الذكاء العاطفي - دانييل جولمان -
-----------------------------------
»أن يغضب أي إنسان , فهذا
أمر سهل ... لكن أن تغضب
من الشخص ا لمناسب , وفي
الوقت ا لمناسب , وللهدف
ا لمناسب , وبالأسلوب ا لمناسب
... فليس هذا بالأمر
السهل... «
من كتاب أرسطو
»الأخلاق إلى نيقوماخوس
--------------------
القدرة على السيطرة على الانفعال هي أساس الإرادة وأساس الشخصية ,
وعلى النحو نفسه فإن أساس مشاعر الإيثار فينا يكمن في التعاطف
الوجداني مع الآخرين , أي في القدرة على قراءة عواطفهم. أما العجز عن
الإحساس باحتياج الآخر , أو بشعوره بالإح...more

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Oct 09, 2011 Greg rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book has been around for a number of years. Shortly after it was published, I read an article in "Readers Digest" about it. The concept of emotional intelligence made sense to me. Well, now I've read the entire book.

This book is well-referenced, providing a mix of the physiological basis for the "emotional brain" as well as the practical realization of how emotions play out in our lives. While I don't agree with the author's evolutionary basis for the development of the brain and its impact...more This book has been around for a number of years. Shortly after it was published, I read an article in "Readers Digest" about it. The concept of emotional intelligence made sense to me. Well, now I've read the entire book.

This book is well-referenced, providing a mix of the physiological basis for the "emotional brain" as well as the practical realization of how emotions play out in our lives. While I don't agree with the author's evolutionary basis for the development of the brain and its impact on emotions, it was fascinating to see how medical imaging and monitoring tools enable us to see into the brain and how it works with respect to our emotions.

Goleman's premise is that emotional intelligence may be more important than mental intelligence or IQ. He cites research that uses emotional intelligence as a predictor of future success, with higher correlation between emotional intelligence and success than IQ and success. The five "domains" of emotional intelligence are:
- Knowing one's emotions
- Managing emotions
- Motivating oneself
- Recognizing emotions in others
- Handling relationships

I have a couple of gripes with this book. Goleman cites much research to support the five domains, how they do or don't develop in individuals, and how they contribute to success in life. However, much of this research is tentative in nature. Words such as "hypothesize," "believe," and "presume" are sprinkled liberally throughout the discussion by the researchers. In other words, they've seen indications of emotional intelligence in their research, and they think it operates in this and such a manner. In addition, much of the research is on individuals or groups who exhibit the absence of one or more facets of emotional intelligence in the extreme. (Research subjects are often disadvantaged, with clinically-significant behavioral problems, or otherwise emotionally not in the mainstream.) Based on this speculative research on emotionally-disturbed people, Goleman concludes that emotional intelligence is significant enough of a subject that it should be taught to children in schools (apparently because parents no longer teach these important aspects of character development).

I believe all aspects of our culture need to provide opportunities to understand and develop one's emotions. Parents, day-care providers, teachers, youth leaders -- anyone who interacts with children -- should help children learn to understand and manage their emotions, be sympathetic to others' emotions, motivate themselves, delay gratification, etc. Awareness of the importance of emotions, how they operate physiologically and practically, and how to harness them for the benefit of ourselves and others are worth understanding by children and adults alike. Maybe the schools are the place to teach emotional intelligence if children aren't getting it at home. Maybe this will help break the cycle of emotional immaturity and emotional abuse. But I'm a bit concerned when the government gets involved in the moral development of our children. In addition, child and educational psychology have produced a lot of ineffective (even harmful?) programs and approaches to children's development and education over the last fifty years.

Fifteen years have transpired since this book was written. I wonder what brain research has discovered or confirmed pertaining to emotional intelligence. I also wonder how many emotional intelligence programs have been used in schools and how those children fare ten or more years later. I believe there's something to the concept of emotional intelligence, I'm just not convinced that it deserves equal footing with mental intelligence.(less)

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Jun 13, 2011 Manugw rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A BREAKTHROUGH

Amazing book, this is one of a kind reading that changed the way I think about myself and others.

The author bases his findings on a long time research and studies, and concludes that the emotional intelligence of an individual counts more to be successful in life than his intellectual coefficient and then proceeds to develop this idea in a very convincing way chapter after chapter showing diverse examples associated to the successful behavior of people of different walks of life,...more

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Aug 09, 2010 Alan rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I wrote on the inside cover: Very interesting although long and repetitive. There needs to be more talk of what we can do. I subsequently went on to write an article about the book: which turned out to be the most visited article I have ever written:

- Emotional Intelligence. An introduction. What exactly is emotional intelligence? And can it be taught and if so where?
http://www.connected.org/learn/emotio...

And then I wrote a number of articles inspired by the book:

- Emotional Intelligence in Sc...more

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title link	preview: Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition
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Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition

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