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Frank Sinatra in a Blender

3.97  ·  Rating Details  ·  360 Ratings  ·  73 Reviews
Nick Valentine has problems. He’s a drunken ex-cop who lives in his shabby office, hangs out at strip clubs, and has only one real friend—Frank Sinatra. But he’s one of the best private investigators in St. Louis. So when an inept crew robs a credit union, only Valentine can figure out who made off with the millions.

Sometimes solving a crime takes a hard guy who’s not afra
ebook, 225 pages
Published May 27th 2011 by Concord ePress
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Best Noir of the 21st Century
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May 12, 2014 Kemper rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I’ve read a lot of books featuring drunk detectives in my time and it’s not like I haven’t occasionally occupied a bar stool myself, but I needed a liver transplant by the time I finished this one.

Private investigator detective Nick Valentine is asked to consult at the crime scene of an apparent suicide by his old boss, the police chief of St. Louis. Nick sets the tone for the rest of the book when he arrives with a glass of gin and snorts some oxy before going inside to talk to the cops. Howeve
Jul 20, 2016 Matthew rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mystery, library, audio, 2016
3.5 stars rounded up to 4.

A dirty, gritty, drug/sex/alcohol filled hard-boiled detective romp through the seedy underground of modern day St. Louis. Almost every character, good and bad, have their fair share of vices - enough, at times, to make Dashiell Hammett blush.

Not for everyone, but if you like a quick read and do not mind detective stories with graphic violence and thinly veiled (and rampant) sexual innuendo, give this one a go.
Apr 03, 2013 Brandon rated it it was amazing
Frank Sinatra in a Blender. Now THAT is an eye-catching title! I was given the option to pick any novel from New Pulp Press in exchange for a review and when I read the title of Matthew McBride’s book, the choice was easy.

Nick Valentine is the definition of a raging alcoholic. If there’s a bottle of booze within reach, you bet your ass he’s going to down it. Same goes for painkillers, cocaine and any other drug he can get his hands on. Nothing appears to be off limits. If not for the fact that
Josh Stallings
Jun 19, 2011 Josh Stallings rated it it was amazing
Damn... No really Damn! This is one rip-roaring fun-ride with drug addicted alcoholic mad man at the wheel. Brilliantly written. Funny as hell. Riotously violent. Take a strong shot of classic crime fiction, add shot of gonzo, toss in a big pile of wit, a smidgen of sentimentally and bled that mother! Drink in one fast gulp. Enjoy the blurry burn. I really can't wait to read M McBride's next novel. One hell of book to step onto the crime fiction stage with.
Richard Vialet
Jan 11, 2016 Richard Vialet rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of drunk dicks
3.5 Stars
How ex-cop-turned-investigator Nick Valentine even makes it through the day on two feet, let alone solve mysteries, is beyond me. The drunk private dick is a mystery cliche that has been run into the ground for decades. But you haven't truly read a book about a heavy-drinking detective until you've read Frank Sinatra in a Blender. Nick Valentine, our protagonist with a liver made of concrete, is called in to help investigate the "suicide" of a banker. Soon, he discovers that the body is
May 23, 2016 Josh rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Nick Valentine is an unusual PI, working alongside the police to provide a link between the blue and the street rather than competing with them (as is the case for many a PI). That said, Valentine sure isn't a squeaky clean and lawful member of the community; he’s a perpetual drunk with his own agenda and in FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER, that agenda comprises of one simple factoid – getting rich quick off the idiocy of criminals.

I was really impressed by FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER. Everything abo
Dec 29, 2015 Still rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: fans of Charlie Stella, Scott Phillips, Richard Stark, Charlie Huston, Elmore Leonard, Ken Bruen
Recommended to Still by: Goodreads Friends

Reading this novel was the most fun I've had in months.
I never can do justice to the plots in the books I review so forgive me my limitations.

This slim, 200 page novel is an action packed, character driven, hyper-violent caper number that mixes equal measures of Donald E. Westlake/Richard Stark, Elmore Leonard, Charlie Stella, Scott Phillips, with a dash of Mickey Spillane tossed in.

Former cop Nick Valentine is an alcoholic beverages and pain-killers enthusiast. He works as a private investigato
Shamus McCarty
Mar 16, 2013 Shamus McCarty rated it it was amazing
Shelves: kindle-lendable
Jesus Christ, that was intense.

If Guy Ritchie moved to St. Louis, pulled a reverse Madonna and lost the accent, this would be his newest movie. It would have to be produced by an indie company to keep all the violence and not cheesed up like a Wayne’s Brothers movie. And the result would be a cult classic that got spread through word of mouth and posts like, “Holy crap you have to watch this movie!” on Facebook.

If this book were a cup of chili it’d be spicy ass chili. You’d take a bite then inst
John McNee
I'm a little conflicted. 'Frank Sinatra in a Blender' is a book that I was really enjoying right up until it was over, at which point, given even a couple of minutes to reflect I found myself with all these perturbing niggles adding up to the reader's equivalent of being left with a bad aftertaste.

I can't be sure how much of that is by design. The book is clearly wallowing in some dark and depraved places with some sleazy, scummy people. There are no boy scouts here. But it's difficult to gauge
Nov 02, 2011 Johnny rated it it was amazing
Funny, violent, and one-of-a-kind, everyone (but not their mother) should check out FRANK SINATRA IN A BLENDER. The story is fast and loose, but that's just how it should be. If it weren't rough around the edges, it wouldn't work. It would be like recording a really good punk band without any distortion. Writing isn't about perfect, it's about communication. And through his style, McBride tells exactly the story he set out to tell.

The characters, locations, and actions never fall into familiar t
Jul 03, 2014 Stephanie rated it liked it
Shelves: mystery, fiction, noir
I might have liked this more if (view spoiler). I also felt like I needed a 12 step program for drug addiction and alcoholism just from reading about all the booze and pills and blow... I was super excited because the Intro to this is written by Ken Bruen, one of my favorite noir writers. I always felt sympathy or some degree of compassion for Bruen's Jack Taylor character. However, this guy, Nick Valentine, was som ...more
Charles Dee Mitchell
Jun 15, 2016 Charles Dee Mitchell rated it liked it
Shelves: crime
Down and dirty noir fiction that I read on my Kindle app while eating alone it restaurants. This proved at times not to be the wisest choice. The Frank Sinatra of the title is the protagonist's Yorkshire terrier, and yes there is a blender involved.

The plot is pretty basic: Money stolen from a heist passes through many hands, several of which are eventually severed from their owners. Along with many other body parts. This is thanks to a duo of sadistic clean-up men who work for the comically idi
Jun 10, 2011 Tony rated it really liked it
I first heard about this book on Twitter. As soon as I saw the title I had to buy it. How could I not?

It has been quite a while since I’ve read a crime novel. I had forgotten how lovely the descriptions can be. Any book where I can almost hear the narrator’s gravelly voice in the back of my head has to be doing something right.

I did get confused at one point where they seemed to be removing the boot of an already naked man, but that could just have been me missing something. The Kindle layout wo
Benoit Lelievre
Jun 14, 2011 Benoit Lelievre rated it it was amazing
Never in my life, I have read something even remotely similar. Frank Sinatra In A Blender redefines my notions of funny and brutal all at once. It makes every gangster movie Guy Ritchie ever made look like "The Sound Of Music" and it would have probably sent Raymond Chandler in therapy for many years if Matthew McBride would have lived back then. A mind-bending read and a whole lot of fun.
Nov 21, 2015 Aaron rated it it was amazing
Matthew McBride makes me proud to be a Missourian. Set in St. Louis, Frank Sinatra in a Blender made me long for The Hill and Ted Drewes which offers the best frozen custard in the universe. The characters in this novel were as bitter, mean and sour as Cardinals fans are about the 1985 World Series. The ex-cop-private investigator protagonist had me from page one when he was walking into a crime scene snorting Oxycontin and said in a noir voice, "Chemical motivation cleansed my nerves as the wor ...more
Patrick O'Neil
Jun 27, 2014 Patrick O'Neil rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I don't usually read dog books. But then again I didn't know the Frank Sinatra in Matthew McBride's Frank Sinatra in a Blender was a dog. And for a brief second when I discovered that it was I was almost tempted to put the book down – almost. To say McBride's protagonist Nick Valentine drinks like… well, like a fish doesn't even begin to describe his ability to consume alcohol. Or do drugs. Or inflict much violence. His scruples are as non-existent as he is able to face life sober. So, yeah it's ...more
Rob Kitchin
In Frank Sinatra in a Blender, Matthew McBride takes a typical PI story and max everything up to eleven -- the hardboiled style, the excessive drug-taking, the violence and mayhem. Nick Valentine used to be a decent cop, but is now a man living on the edge, bedding down in his office which he shares with Frank Sinatra, his Yorkshire Terrier, who can’t function without excessive quantities of alcohol or drugs, travels round with a small armoury, and is familiar with the underbelly of St Louis. He ...more
Sep 03, 2013 Gef rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: crime, mystery, noir
I first heard about this novel some months back when it was reviewed on the Booked Podcast, thought it sounded really promising, then found a review copy in my mailbox one day. Two hundred and twenty Oxy-feuled pages later, this uproarious look at the underbelly of St. Louis may be one of my favorite reads of 2013. It at least has my favorite title of 2013.

Nick Valentine, a St. Louis P.I.--don't forget functioning alcoholic and painkiller addict--gets called in to consult on what looks like a su
Elizabeth A.
Oct 11, 2011 Elizabeth A. rated it really liked it
To say Nick Valentine is a unique individual would be putting it lightly. Along with his partner Frank Sinatra – no, really – he works as a private detective in St. Louis. He likes to think there’s no case he can’t solve, and he’s damn sure there’s no drink or drug he doesn’t like.

When a credit union is robbed and the police have trouble picking up a decent lead Valentine finds himself front and center on the trail of the robbers…and the money. And he’s not the only one, as an oddball assortment
Jun 09, 2011 Aj rated it it was amazing
There's a warning label that should be attached to this novel. That label should read in great big letters:

Please secure every part of your anatomy, clothing, concepts of what makes a hero, morality, priggishness and any other item of faith your life that determine your concepts of decent behavior, common courtesy, the Boy Scout Oath or a firm belief in the legal system of the US by god of A. After securing these items with as strong a bundle of duct tape as you can make and with a great deal o
Oct 27, 2011 Gannonwb rated it it was ok
Shelves: crime-procedural
Pulpishly Noir?! Noirishly Pulpish?! Someone should invent a term for when an author goes overboard with the pulp fiction. There is no one likeable in this book, certainly not the protagonist, nor any of the main players. Possibly the detective, but he's given short shrift. At its best this story reads like Tarrentino's "Pulp Fiction" where you just don't know what's going to happen, but in Pulp Fiction, there were some likeable characters who you could root for. This author defintely has talent ...more
Frank Sinatra in a Blender by Matthew McBride Frank Sinatra in a Blender by Matthew McBride - I thoroughly enjoyed this book; totally noir, but twisted and dark. Not over the top though like so many come across. This was just right. A nice balance of gratuitous violence and wicked humor. And Nick Valentine, the perfect protagonist for this story; a tough son-of-a-bitch, but totally flawed and he knows it. A must read for fans of noir or hardboiled novels.
Fiona Johnson
May 31, 2011 Fiona Johnson rated it it was amazing
You will not be able to put this down..... once you have started you just can't stop. Your hands will fuse to your kindle, your joints will ache yet you will keep reading! Yes there is a great story, yes there are original characters, yes - oh my - there is a lot of violence and it is all wonderful. From start to finish this book never gives up its pace or humour. McBride is an unstoppable machine and he is going to blow everybody else out of the water with this highly original debut novel. I've ...more
Mar 30, 2015 H.W. rated it liked it
Warning: profanity follows. I'm not exactly the epitome of discretion myself when I speak, and I've been known to have characters who explode with the occasional socially awkward expression, but usually my expository writing is clean. But there is really no way to write cleanly of this particular novel. Fair warning.

I read a review that said this was a ‘great’ book. Hellfire, Charlie Sheen liked it! (I discovered that after the fact.) I read it. I have read more sensationalist, exploitative work
Tim Buck
Feb 22, 2015 Tim Buck rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: craziness
So Nick thinks, "We'd seen the worst mankind had to offer, and fought back at their level", which is a great summary of this brutal but beautiful story. I look forward to more from Mr. McBride.
Aug 21, 2014 Norma rated it it was amazing
Fab, fab, fab. This fast paced story about a dodgy detective is brilliant. Plenty of dark humour and Valentine's wee dog is pretty cute too. If you love Joe R. Lansdale then this is the book for you. Hopefully there is more of his books available on kindle.
Jul 21, 2014 Derrick rated it it was amazing
A pill-popping, hard drinking, dedicated man of the street PI? Potentially my kind of book. A new offering from New Pulp Press? Even more likely to be my kind of book. But potential must be realized to keep me engrossed for an all night read. Well... This novel really delivered for me. The story is well-written and goes by too quickly. New Pulp Press seems to put out nothing but great titles and this book continues the trend. In fact, this is probably one of their top books. It has the funny one ...more
Nov 22, 2012 Bookedpodcast rated it it was amazing
Shelves: 2012
Hear our complete review on our website:
Travis Richardson
Nick Valentine is a boozing, narcotics snorting, wise ass who plays on both sides of the law by helping the cops on murder investigation while hoping to get his a share of money stolen from a credit union. When he is not taking care of his dog, he's going through the rougher sections of St. Louis looking for clues, strippers or booze. He’s one of a kind and often the smartest guy in the room. Funny, dark, disgustingly brutal and mostly amoral (though there are some codes, like don’t mess with so ...more
May 15, 2013 Amy rated it did not like it
Shelves: mystery
Frank Sinatra in a Blender is the first full-length novel by Matthew McBride. Set in the underbelly of St. Louis, the story follows the mishaps of former cop, now private detective, Nick Valentine. An unapologetic alcoholic and pain pill junkie, Valentine’s only love is for his roommate, a Yorkshire terrier mix named Frank Sinatra. When Nick agrees to help the police investigate the suspicious suicide of a credit union manager, his radar goes off when the very same credit union is robbed the nex ...more
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Matthew McBride is a former assembly-line worker living in rural Missouri. In his words, “These people are the people I know and see every day, and this is the world I know.” He is also the author of the cult hit Frank Sinatra in a Blender.
More about Matthew McBride...

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