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When You Are Engulfed in Flames

by David Sedaris

3.92 · rating details · 51,097 ratings · 6,740 reviews

"David Sedaris's ability to transform the mortification of everyday life into wildly entertaining art," (The Christian Science Monitor) is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this remarkable new book.
Trying to make coffee when the water is shut off, David considers using the water in a vase of flowers and his chain of associations takes...more

Hardcover, 323 pages

Published June 3rd 2008 by Little Brown and Company (first published 2008)

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Jul 11, 2008

Dusty Myers rated it

Here's my take on Sedaris, or maybe my take on Sedaris before I listened to this book: Naked is easily his best work because it's his most thorough, his most unencumbered by his own fame. If we were to compare his oeuvre to MTV's The Real World, Naked is the original New York season (despite not being Sedaris's first book). In New York, the cast members were people already living in the city (with the Alabama exception) and trying to make a living; the whole "be on TV" part of it was ...moreHere's my take on Sedaris, or maybe my take on Sedaris before I listened to this book: Naked is easily his best work because it's his most thorough, his most unencumbered by his own fame. If we were to compare his oeuvre to MTV's The Real World, Naked is the original New York season (despite not being Sedaris's first book). In New York, the cast members were people already living in the city (with the Alabama exception) and trying to make a living; the whole "be on TV" part of it was something they dealt with in the name of free housing. Now, of course, teens run at the chance to go live in some other city just to "have their lives taped," just for the fame it might bring, and what they actually do on the show is dull as a result. Naked is the masterpiece because the essays therein are longer and more satisfying; the whole thing is memoir in its finest form of sifting through the past to let someone understand how life (or maybe just a life) gets lived.

Then he got wildly famous and was able to publish any old essay in any old magazine. This, I recognize, is a factor of his talent both as a writer and a humorist, not a factor of his name. Still, even as "far back" as Me Talk Pretty One Day, I left much of the essays with a sense of incompletion. "Picka Pocketoni"? Why wasn't this narrator doing anything? It wasn't enough just to stand there and report, I felt.

A lot of WYAEiF is about how wealthy and glamorous Sedaris's life is, and how wealthy he was growing up, which is something I'd never really sensed before. He talks about the cork-lined dining room at his parents' house with the (at the time) contemporary Danish modern furniture. He talks about the $20K he spent to quit smoking by moving to Tokyo for three months. He mentions an $8K first-class ticket he bought. He mentions a lot of airplane rides; I think at least three of the essays have their roots in something that happened to D.S. while flying across the Atlantic. This smacks to me of a writer who's run out of things to write about; and yet there are essays about old neighbors ("That's Amore", one of the collection's best), so it seems Sedaris still has enough memories to last a few more books.

I heard that in some interview somewhere, Sedaris confessed that he was getting to the point in his life where he'd act in a scene explicitly for the purposes of creating something to write about. Maybe Sedaris has a history of this (I can't imagine he just wanted to up and go to a nudist colony on his own; clearly, he saw great material in the exercise) but something about the heft of those earlier essays ("Santaland Diaries", too) makes them seem more honest. In the interview, Sedaris was talking specifically about the decision to cough so hard on a plane that his throat lozenge would be expelled from his mouth. He thought, Let's see what happens, and coughed. This action begins one of the essays in this book, and it's never revealed as constructed.

I'm not aligning myself with that camp of Memoir Exposers For The Truth. My complaint isn't that Sedaris makes things up. It's that at one time, behind the essays, was this guy David Sedaris, or as close to the guy as we could get, and now it seems that behind all these essays lies "The Writer David Sedaris". I'm not making myself clear.

(Which, incidentally, is one thing I can't fault Sedaris for. His timing in writing is impeccable and his descriptions apt and lovely in places. Oh and funny. The book in just incredibly, unendingly funny. In short: get the audiobook.)(less)

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Jul 02, 2008

James rated it

Eh.

That’s my review: eh.

With maybe a shoulder shrug.

Someone better read than I recently remarked something to the effect of, “Once you’ve read one David Sedaris book, haven’t you read them all?”

Yes.

And Kurt Vonnegut.

And several others. But that’s neither here nor there.

Sedaris’s recent book makes such a dismissive comment truer than ever. For readers familiar with Holidays on Ice, Dress Your Family in Corduroy an...moreEh.

That’s my review: eh.

With maybe a shoulder shrug.

Someone better read than I recently remarked something to the effect of, “Once you’ve read one David Sedaris book, haven’t you read them all?”

Yes.

And Kurt Vonnegut.

And several others. But that’s neither here nor there.

Sedaris’s recent book makes such a dismissive comment truer than ever. For readers familiar with Holidays on Ice, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, and Me Talk Pretty One Day, there is little Funny and Original to enjoy from When You Are Engulfed in Flames. And especially for readers of The New Yorker like myself, where most of the essays in this publication were initially published, there is a lot to be desired.

A few highlights include an explanation for why Sedaris does not believe in God: “Because I have hair on my back, and a lot of other people, people who kill and rob and make life miserable, don’t. A real God wouldn’t let that happen.” And his prediction that, “It’s safe to assume that by 2025, guns will be sold in vending machines, but you won’t be able to smoke anywhere in America.” With the Supreme Court’s recent ruling on D.C’s gun ban, Sedaris’s prescience is foreboding.

But what I found most interesting about When You Are Engulfed in Flames was the About the Author: “David Sedaris’s half-dozen books have been translated into twenty-five languages, including Estonian, Greek, and Bahasa. His essays appear frequently in The New Yorker and are heard on Public Radio International’s This American Life.”

It was the first sentence that intrigued me. There’s a good David Sedaris essay to be had from that line. Did David Sedaris himself write it? If not, but the editor did, why the importance on Estonian, Greek, and Bahasa and not the other 22 languages? Does translation into these three languages indicate a literary achievement of some sort? Is it a big deal for Estonians, Greeks, and Indonesians to be reading David Sedaris? While Microsoft Word’s spell check wants Bahasa to be Bahamas, Bahaman, Batas, Balas, or Banana, Bahasa is in fact spelled correctly. It is the native language of Indonesia, the world’s fourth most populous nation, and therefore one of the most widely spoken languages in the world. So for David Sedaris to be available in this language is no small feat. Why then Estonian and Greek? And what are the other 22 neglected languages? Why are they less special?(less)

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Jan 10, 2012

RandomAnthony rated it

You know, Montambo is right, this is Sedaris' best book. While earlier in his career the author seemed to go for easy laughs (Look at my brother! What an ass!) or convenient self-loathing something seems to have clicked this time around that transforms the work from magazine article quality to literature. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Sedaris sounds like a real writer in this book; the essays flow unforced and genuine insight accompanies the punch lines. Sedaris doesn't seem to be writing fo...more

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Jul 15, 2008

brian tanabe rated it

When I first saw this in a bookstore I thought to myself, can he do it again? Is there more scrapable hilarity clinging to the walls of his interesting life, fit to amuse and entertain his many fans? Sedaris does in fact do it again and apparently there's an endless well of funny stuffy, a font of hilarity, within this man.

This is another great collection, on par with his other works for all the Sedaris fans out there. There is one story in particular (“That's Amore”) -- or rather a ...more

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Jun 16, 2008

Alana rated it

Shelves: 2008_06_june, reviewed

While I certainly won't call this the best David Sedaris collection that you can purchase for yourself, I will say that any David Sedaris is worth reading -- and thus, my star rating. It would probably be more like three and a half if Goodreads did half stars the way LibraryThing does, but ah well.
The observation I have for this collection is that with Mr. Sedaris giving up drinking, drugs, and smoking... his stories seem to be a bit more tame. Much more focus on his boyfriend Hugh or st...moreWhile I certainly won't call this the best David Sedaris collection that you can purchase for yourself, I will say that any David Sedaris is worth reading -- and thus, my star rating. It would probably be more like three and a half if Goodreads did half stars the way LibraryThing does, but ah well.
The observation I have for this collection is that with Mr. Sedaris giving up drinking, drugs, and smoking... his stories seem to be a bit more tame. Much more focus on his boyfriend Hugh or stories tinged with a bit of melancholy. The NY Times mentioned the story about his parents' art collection, which is perhaps one of the better crafted stories. My favorite, however, is called "Keeping Up" -- which talks about couples arguing on vacation and features Mr. Sedaris rehearsing his "I'm leaving you" speech to his boyfriend after Hugh's fast walking leaves Sedaris lost and alone in a zoo in Sydney.
In general, it's nice to see Hugh making more of an appearance in Sedaris' stories. Sedaris' previous volumes have focused so much on his siblings that when you realize how long he and Hugh have been together, you're a bit surprised that it's taken Sedaris this long to mine his significant other for material. In the past, he's popped up every now and then, but he's a much more substantial figure in this collection. As with Sedaris' other works, though, one can't help but wonder how his friends and relatives deal with having details of their lives published and sold. Unlike his parents and sisters, though, Sedaris consistently paints Hugh in a good light and one can't help but wonder how Sedaris can function without Hugh at times in this collection.
In any case, while you might want to wait to purchase a paperback version, this collection does have several good chuckles. I might not have been struggling for breath as I have once or twice in the past ("Six to Eight Black Men" comes to mind), but I still think that anyone who enjoys Sedaris should not miss this most recent offering.(less)

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Aug 01, 2008

Valerie rated it

Shelves: short-stories

When I first started reading this book, I found myself disappointedly thinking that it was just more of the same from David Sedaris - stories that either make you laugh out loud or make you cringe (or more often both). Don't get me wrong - he's still funny - but I was expecting more from this one... some evolution in style or content. I liked his earlier books because they were more raw, the stories a bit more unexpected. The beginning of this one felt a little recycled, and I was ready to be do...more

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Jun 12, 2008

Imogen rated it

When I am not reading David Sedaris, I am thinking: David Sedaris, man, there is a popular guy whose books are kind of just always around and not very interesting. But when I *am* reading him, I'm always like, there are five or six absolutely brilliant punchlines in every one of this guy's books, and the other parts are, y'know, enjoyable enough.

I think it's a testament to my always forgetting how much I like him that I guess I've read all his stuff, but I absolutely never think of ...more

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Jun 06, 2008

Brian rated it

Shelves: autobiography

After reading Sedaris' previous collection, I began to suspect that he had mined all of the material he could from his family and the earlier hard times he experienced. It appeared he was now left with the task of finding hilarity and poignancy in the life of a rich, celebrated author. "When You Are Engulfed in Flames" confirms that his days of dressing as an elf, picking apples, and hitch-hiking cross country with an incomplete quadriplegic are long gone. In their place we are left...more

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Jul 12, 2011

Stefania T. rated it

· review of another edition

Quando, in preda alle mie manie/idiosincrasie/fobie/fissazioni, incontro uno scrittore che, con nonchalance, quasi fischiettando, riporta su carta bianca tutti i caotici discorsi delle vocette che albergano nella mia mente, riportandone i toni e l'atmosfera della più completa inettitudine, e, in più, mi fa ridere a crepapelle di tutto ciò, come può il giudizio non essere più che positivo (e forse anche un po' sbilanciato)?

Alcuni racconti sono (nettamente) migliori di altri, un tantin...more

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Jun 02, 2008

Nate J rated it

Recommends it for: Sedarians

Shelves: glbtfriendly, traveltales

I didn't care much for Sedaris' last book, Dress your family in corduroy and denim. It felt forced, his embellishments more absurd to the point where I felt it was obvious which events actually happened and which were invented to make the story more interesting.

When You Are Engulfed in Flames was calmer in tone, more believable and felt less deadline inspired. Most of the stories revolve around the author and his partner, as opposed to the Sedaris brood - Gretchen, Lisa, the Chicken...more

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Feb 09, 2009

Shannon rated it

Shelves: lulz

I don't quite get the people who say this isn't as funny as his other books- I thought it was plenty funny. The comment about having a 400 dollar sweater that looked like it had been thrown to a tiger and thus was already ruined and incapable of being further ruined.. that made me laugh. And saying a cracker tasted like penis. And lots of little one-liners. But what's really awesome about his stuff is that it's MORE than just a bunch of one-liners. He really is a very observant, intelligent, hil...more

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Jul 31, 2008

Laura rated it

Recommended to Laura by: all with the last name, "Reznick"

This was my first time reading a book of his. Upon finding myself curled up in what can only be described as a painful, repressed laughter spasm on the subway (this, after reading about the downside to recreational catheters), I realized that perhaps Sedaris is more appropriate for at-home reading. You can be sure I'll be reading more, as I'm told this isn't even his best.

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Aug 19, 2008

Erin rated it

Some people find that after reading one or two of Sedaris's books, he becomes less ha-ha funny. Maybe they get used to his style of humour. Maybe there's a golden order in which to read them (personally, I find chronologically by publishing date works well). Maybe there is a slight advantage to hearing him speak in person. I tend to read him while imagining how he'd say it, and immediately a dry sentence comes to life.

I could go on about the maturation I see happening in his work, ...more

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Aug 02, 2008

Joe rated it

Before picking this book up at an airport newsstand, knew nothing of David Sedaris except that his name is mentioned constantly as being popular and I see his books everywhere. I guessed it was time to check into something current and popular to see what I was missing. Plus this book had Van Gogh's "Skeleton with Cigarette" as its cover, so how could you go wrong? The cover was designed by Chip Kidd, and I suspect his other ones were as well. I think a sharp cover goes a long way towar...moreBefore picking this book up at an airport newsstand, knew nothing of David Sedaris except that his name is mentioned constantly as being popular and I see his books everywhere. I guessed it was time to check into something current and popular to see what I was missing. Plus this book had Van Gogh's "Skeleton with Cigarette" as its cover, so how could you go wrong? The cover was designed by Chip Kidd, and I suspect his other ones were as well. I think a sharp cover goes a long way towards book sells.

As it turns out, David Sedaris is a essayist who got his start by reading his diaries aloud on NPR. His niche is comical autobiographical accounts of the world. This basically means that he is a blogger, but with a writer's sensibility.
While the book did have some interesting points, some witty observations, and a few laugh out loud moments, I was surprised at how much of it leaned towards nostalgia or explorations of the mundane.
One chapter was about clothes he's learned to stop wearing such as the time he decided he couldn't pull off the bow-tie look. Another chapter was about how his house in Normandy France had spiders in it and he decided to give them all names and watch them to see how their lives played out. The last quarter of the book explores, in detail, his relationship with cigarettes from the start of his habit to the long process of finally quitting.
He talks in a self-depreciating manner about how he is too gay, too short, getting too old, and how he has too many bad habits. He has six other books that were wildly successful all over the world. Are they all based around the same concept? I found out later that, yes, they were. If anything they were fresher though, as he may be running out of things to talk about as he goes along. One thing that you can tell from reading his stuff is that this approach has landed him a lot of success. He lives all over the world with an apartment in Pars, cottage in Normandy, a place in New York and frequent recreational trips to countries such as Japan that are separate from the long tours he does for readings and book signings.
There's no question that he crafts his stories well, with very clear, crisp sentences and a sharp, observant sense of humor, but is it really that incredibly difficult? Nothing here screamed "genius" to me. I started to wonder what it would be like if he wrote a long form novel. Could he put an interesting plot together with compelling characters?

After being home for a day, I decided to check out more of Sedaris' work to see what it was all about. A wiki biography pointed me in the direction of his first big story, "SantaLand Diaries". I downloaded a NPR reading of it and found it to be truly funny and lighthearted stuff.
The first thing that struck me however was that his voice was a nasal whine fitting a Christmas elf.... almost exactly like Truman Capote's.
(less)

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Jun 19, 2008

Schmacko rated it

I just finished the new David Sedaris book When You are Engulfed in Flames. Isn’t that his snappiest title yet?

This very funny man’s book of personal essays only sporadically reaches the wacky heights of his other book. I laughed quite a few times, but there were very few stories I wanted to read to my friends over the phone (a mark of distinction I’ve held for his earlier books)

There are a few stand-out, hilarious stories here. One about Sedaris’ neighbor in NYC will ...moreI just finished the new David Sedaris book When You are Engulfed in Flames. Isn’t that his snappiest title yet?

This very funny man’s book of personal essays only sporadically reaches the wacky heights of his other book. I laughed quite a few times, but there were very few stories I wanted to read to my friends over the phone (a mark of distinction I’ve held for his earlier books)

There are a few stand-out, hilarious stories here. One about Sedaris’ neighbor in NYC will surely be added to the pantheon of “Wacky People David has Met.” Her name is Helen, and this octogenarian curses like a sailor, cooks disgusting food that she presents as a prize to only certain neighbors, and basically belittles and insults everyone.

And Sedaris certainly has a gift for turning a funny phrase, calling Scandinavia “a cold and forsaken place where people stay indoors and plot the death of knobs.”

What seems to often be missing here are Sedaris’ wild flights of panic, paranoia, and fancy we’ve witnessed in the past. When the author’s in top form, he can throw out the most outrageous and unorthodox views of the world and then tightly pull them back together into a single, hilarious yet honest picture. Instead we get charming stories of losing his lover in a foreign zoo, or of that same lover proving his love by lancing David’s boil (this latter story has all the possibility of a great Sedaris yarn, but he misses the chance to panic and become all hypochondriac and run to the library and then comically explain the medical phenomenon of a boil to us. Instead, Sedaris describes the smell – gross- and then waxes poetic about his boyfriend’s offer to lance it.)

The last story of the book – a longer tale of Sedaris quitting smoking – has its moments but is largely all over the place; a trip to Tokyo, language classes, Japanese sight-seeing, and tricks on avoiding the cancer stick. It never adds up, and coincidentally, it’s probably the worst thing Sedaris has written. It’s still intermittently funny, but it doesn’t through me into a fit of paroxysms, which I know Sedaris is capable of.

He’s still a good writer, better than almost everyone else out there, but this isn’t his best material.

(less)

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Jul 08, 2008

Rob rated it

Recommends it for: if you thought "Dress Your Family..." was a misstep for Mr. Sedaris (or his publisher)

Shelves: own, bedside, vermont, 2008, collection

A solid ★★★★ and damn near close to ★★★★★ that we'll settle for ★★★★½. But then again, I'm a serious Sedaris fiend.

When You Are Engulfed In Flames makes Sedaris' previous collection, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, seem like a disaster, a complete train wreck. Which is unfair because I think that Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is a strong collection with some exemplary essays. And also because I get the feeling that it was a more personal werk for him, that he's ...more

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Jul 09, 2008

Sig! rated it

Shelves: nonfiction

Can I give the book 3.5 stars? 3 isn't enough, but 4 is too many. Anyway...

David Sedaris didn't charm me with this one, possibly because most of the material wasn't new to me. I'd read many of the essays in previous collections or in The New Yorker, and had heard him read some of the pieces on his book tour. So...maybe that was the trouble.

Or maybe I'm finally sick of the formula: Start with something quirky, move into another story or observation, and bring it back a...more

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Oct 31, 2008

David rated it

Shelves: read-in-2008, disappointing

This new collection of essays by David Sedaris is unobjectionable, but fails to come anywhere near the hilarity of his best effort, "Me Talk Pretty Some Day". Most of the pieces remind one of "Seinfeld", being about nothing but the author's particular neuroses. Which range from being moderately entertaining ("Memento Mori", buying a human skeleton and its aftermath) to weirdly offputting ("April in Paris", in which the author's fascination with spiders is ...more

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Sep 03, 2008

Debbie Petersen rated it

I really like this collection of stories. David Sedaris has quit drinking and smoking, which I thought would be the kiss of death, but the new calmer voice is still entertaining. As I have found with all of his books, some essays have parts that made me laugh out loud or giggle helplessly in public and others left me unmoved. I enjoyed the Helen story and the chance to get to know Hugh better and see how their relationship works. There is something about Sedaris' observations and descriptions th...more

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Mar 23, 2010

Kathi rated it

Anmaßend beyond believe - aber deshalb nicht weniger wahr: David Sedaris is ja mein Soulmate. Ob Aufwachsen in Rayleigh einer Kindheit in Wien gleich kommt? Zwei Brüder wie 3 Schwestern? Paris wie Berlin? Was immer die Basis meiner zutiefst empfunden Verbindung mit Ms. Sedaris, kein Buch konnte sie bisher schmälern (Shame on you, Ms. Hornby!). Lieblingssätze bisher:

"Time is cruel on everything but seems to have singled out eyeglasses for special punishment"

"...more

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Jul 21, 2008

Linda rated it

OK, I like David Sedaris again. I thought his last couple of books were disappointing. I felt that he had gone from laughing at himself to looking down his nose (at his family mostly and I'm sure they can take a joke, but I didn't like it so much) and making fun of everybody else. This is not so "funny" as some of his earlier work (as his father might say -- "this is work?") but they were fun to read.
But what is this suddenly so popular "genre"? Shooting...more

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Feb 01, 2009

Indra rated it

The most uneven of his books to date, in my opinion...there were times when I was actually bored enough to lose interest, which has never, ever happened to me reading David Sedaris--I have all his books. Fortunately, these times came and went, and I did feel like the book ended on a high note. I enjoyed the piece where he went to Japan and quit smoking, particularly the bits where he was learning Japanese. I feel like his strongest stories involve other strong characters--in the case of his othe...more

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Jul 15, 2008

Alissa rated it

Recommends it for: Lesley, Kay, Lisa, Marci, Julie

After reading the NY Times review, I didn't have high hopes for this collection, but after reading it, I really admire how far he's come as a memoirist. He's still funny but more gently so, and I like his themes about the passing of time; there's also a lot more about his partner, Hugh Hamrick, and there's some interesting insights about relationships, especially long-term ones. Very enjoyable read.

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Sep 26, 2011

Jessi rated it

· review of another edition

Shelves: your-so-funny-you-should-have-your

The first time I had ever heard David Sedaris was when he once appeared on Letterman and read an essay about a "Stadium Pal" the perfect accessory for a sports fan or full time trucker. Basically a catheter like situation that flows into a bag that is "conveniently" taped to your calf. It is for when you just don't want to get up and go to the washroom, you can pee into this sac and deal with the urine at a later time.

(Other then the recommendation to not wear sh...more

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Apr 28, 2010

Tony rated it

Shelves: 5-star-reads

"When You Are Engulfed in Flames" by David Sedaris is a compilation of essays describing different experiences in the author's life. Some of the essays are down right hilarious and others are life lessons everyone must learn. Red-neck baby-sitters, insincere art snob parents and cough drops landing in a sleeping stranger's lap are just a few of the topics covered by this book. I listened to the audio book of this title, which is read by the author. This isn't always the greatest idea f...more

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Jun 12, 2008

Meghan rated it

Shelves: humor, essays, favorites

He spends a lot of time in hotels and on airplanes. This works for me, mostly, because all of the details are well-chosen. Humorous essays must be hard to craft - Sedaris is always good at leaving out the irrelevant clutter.

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Apr 22, 2009

John rated it

Shelves: bio-and-memoir, library_books, lgbt, travel

I classify this one as "travel" as parts of the book take place in France and Japan.

I had low expectations with this offering, having found his past couple of books rather bland, coasting on his laurels; this one surprised me. It's quite varied, not just a few current me-and-Hugh stories among a lot of "my wacky family" anecdotes - there's a pretty good one of his time in NC (after college), where his family barely appears at all. The final section on his giving u...more

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Jun 24, 2009

Maggie rated it

Recommends it for: people who wish Naked didn't have so much self-loathing

Shelves: memoirs, humor

I was surprised to find myself enjoying ALL of the essays in this book. That's not usually the case for me when it comes to a David Sedaris memoir.

Reading this makes me wonder if he'll attempt to read the Japanese translation of his work (if there is one). Or whether he's still a nonsmoker.

I love how Sedaris portrays himself as ordinary and yet not so ordinary. Everyone has inane thoughts but these are normally dismissed or forgotten quickly. But Sedaris is a master at la...more

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Aug 30, 2008

Shelly rated it

Shelves: memoirs

I think the honeymoon is over. Or, maybe I'm just too hard to please. Wait, I don't think those are mutually exclusive. In any event, I was let down. This collection of stories/anecdotes seemed more blog-worthy than book-worthy to me. It gave me the sense that he was under pressure to put another book out. To say something. So he follows the formula that's worked for him so well only this time the content's not nearly as entertaining, or noteworthy. One chapter is about a boil he had that his pa...more

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Jul 27, 2008

Rachel added it

1.
I HATE men who don't do the dishes, I hate it when they sit around and let women do the dishes. David Sedaris doesn't do the dishes and I am glad, because it shows I can hatefully resent slash stereotype gay and straight men equally, and therefore I'm probably not homophobic, although I probably am slightly androgynist, oopsies! But not being homophobic cancels that out, right?

I also HATE IT when a man, like say someone I know, does the dishes as a little something extra to s...more1.
I HATE men who don't do the dishes, I hate it when they sit around and let women do the dishes. David Sedaris doesn't do the dishes and I am glad, because it shows I can hatefully resent slash stereotype gay and straight men equally, and therefore I'm probably not homophobic, although I probably am slightly androgynist, oopsies! But not being homophobic cancels that out, right?

I also HATE IT when a man, like say someone I know, does the dishes as a little something extra to show his wife how much he loves her. ARE YOU SERIOUS? You love her enough to ::GASP:: do the dishes???? OH MY GOD! What a man!

I have a HUGE Mary/Martha complex in addition to a need to problematize, analize and emblematize. So, say I come over to your house to eat dinner, and I notice that you sit at the table and chat, and your partner gets up to do the dishes. Basically even though I think, know, believe and profess that it is wrong to do so, I'll proceed to judge the pair of you forever and ever amen based solely on this sole observation. And that's if you're lucky and I leave off before I get around to your relationships with your mothers and fathers and non-existent progeny, and your mothers' and fathers' relationships with each other and with their mothers and fathers...

2.
I always wonder if David Sedaris would be a fun person to hang out with. I mean, would he just be lame and totally obsessed with creating more stories about his lameness so he could mine his life for better (a k a more pathetic) material? It used to bother me that there might be people in the world who were cooler and better and awesomer on paper than they would be in real life. (By "in real life" I mean "fixtures in my fantasy, dinner-party-centric, superglam lifestyle".) I've even been sad after reading one of David Sedaris's domestic farce stories, sad because of our basic dish washing incompatibility. But now, thanks to this book, specifically the "Smoking Section", I realize that David Sedaris might actually be my long lost BFF. His writing about smoking/not-smoking has relieved my worried mind.

Becuase I love smoking. I like talking about starting, talking about stopping, talking about anything while smoking, talking about anything while mutually desiring to smoke; I like smoking in silence together; I like sitting and thinking about smoking in silence together. I think all of these topics and activities are extremely glamorous and now I know that I'm not alone.(less)

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About David Sedaris

David Sedaris is a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist and radio contributor.

Sedaris came to prominence in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries." He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. Each of his four subsequent essay collections, Naked (1997), Holidays on Ice (1997), Me Talk Pretty One Day ...more

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