It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living

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It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living

by Dan Savage (Goodreads Author) (Editor), Terry Miller

4.18 of 5 stars 4.18 · rating details · 805 ratings · 154 reviews

Every story can change a life.

Growing up isn't easy. Many young people face daily tormenting and bullying, and this is especially true for LGBT kids and teens. In response to a number of tragic suicides by LGBT students, syndicated columnist and author Dan Savage uploaded a video to YouTube with his partner, Terry Miller. Speaking openly about the bullying they suffered, a...more

ebook, 352 pages

Published March 22nd 2011 by Plume Books (first published February 10th 2011)

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Apr 20, 2011 Melissa rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is heartbreaking. The fact that it even needed to be written is so sad, I guess mainly because I look at my happy, lovely, wonderful little son & know that someday he's going to teased because of something or other. Someone is going to try to make him feel bad about something that he is or does. This book gets repetetive after awhile, but I am not a gay teen so I suppose I didn't read it out of the necessity of absolutely having to to hear over & over again and to know - "my teen ye...more

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May 16, 2013 Lex rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was a quick read, and I skimmed over some of the contributions. I think this is a really great book for anyone questioning his or her identity in any way and for all young adults in general who feel alienated or alone or like no one understands them. I often wish I could reach back into the past and tell myself the same things the authors in this book do. It gets better, none of this matters, be who you are, and don't give a shit what other people think. It would have served me well and I w...more

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Jun 05, 2012 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

Dan Savage started a video campaign on YouTube called "It Gets Better" in response to numerous teen suicides by LGBT youth. His initial idea was to get 100 LGBT adults to post video testimonials on the "It Gets Better" channel to help teens believe that their lives are worth living and help them get through the difficult teen years. His video campaign was an unqualified success and within a couple of days, there were more than 100 videos and within a week or so, there were 1000 videos posted. Th...more

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Mar 29, 2012 Maurinejt rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

First, I am not the target audience so my response differs from the true intent of the authors. Still, I probably would have given the book a 3.5 if allowed...while I didn't LOVE the book, I can see myself recommending it under the right circumstances. What I chiefly took away is that if you're gay and survive middle and high school, you will be wildly successful and blissfully happy. The key to all of this is to come out. Then, you will meet people who love you and do something amazing! Wow, I...more First, I am not the target audience so my response differs from the true intent of the authors. Still, I probably would have given the book a 3.5 if allowed...while I didn't LOVE the book, I can see myself recommending it under the right circumstances. What I chiefly took away is that if you're gay and survive middle and high school, you will be wildly successful and blissfully happy. The key to all of this is to come out. Then, you will meet people who love you and do something amazing! Wow, I never knew it was so simple.

I thought there was a disproportionate number of essays written by those successful in the arts and not a lot from people living ordinary lives; though it may be the class reunion syndrome. Could be that these were the people more likely to respond to the It Gets Better cause; if you're working as a waiter and living alone you might be less inclined to go on the internet and brag about your awesome life. But no one in the service industry? No retail moguls or hairdressers? No businessmen or women? There was one essay from a woman who owned a farm that sticks with me. She was one of the few still living in rural America and her unapologetic, practical view was refreshing. Pieces from a former bully and a Columbine survivor were both very well done. But the other essay that stood out most for me was from David Sedaris.

"A gay fourteen year old in the year 2010, even one living in the smallest of towns, must surely know that he's not the only homosexual on earth. He might need reminding, though, that all the best people are tormented in junior high school. If they're not getting harassed for being gay, they're bound to get it for being too smart, too loud, or too independent. It's always something, and then you get older, and things change for the better."

This is the clearest picture of the bullying culture included in the book. While LGBT kids are a specific, targeted group, torture between kids is more complex and widespread than that. I also loved his closing thought:

"It helps, too, to keep a diary of the many injustices you've suffered, and later turn them into stories. You can't do anything with people being nice to you. People being awful, though; that's gold and mine it while you can."

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Oct 24, 2011 Gina rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: surprising-relationships, misc-nf, made-me-cry, five-stars

The "It Gets Better Project" exemplifies the power of social media. Sickened by news of lgbt teen suicides, Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller set out to make a difference. They wanted to tell kids that getting through school was key, that no matter how awful things are at home or school, it does get better, they will find true friends, they will find acceptance, they will find love. Realizing it'd be near impossible to get speaking invitations to middle and high schools, the places where h...more

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Oct 17, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: glbt, bullying, essays, teen

Published in conjunction with the "It Gets Better Project," this collection of essays gives hope to those who have struggled with bullying, intimidation, and loneliness in high school. Dan Savage was inspired to ignite the "It Gets Better" YouTube campaign, after a number of high school students commited suicide after enduring relentless taunting and bullying. A number of these students were LBGT and felt isolated in their homophobic and judgemental communities. Savage encouraged adult survivors...more

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Aug 31, 2011 Aaron rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller kicked off the It Gets Better movement after a series of teen suicides caught media attention a few summers ago. In each of the cases, teens committed suicide because they were bullied and taunted for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Some of these teens were queer and some weren't. That fact doesn't really matter because the ultimate harm was done.

Savage and Miller created a short podcasted film that they posted with the hopes of getting a 10...more Dan Savage and his partner Terry Miller kicked off the It Gets Better movement after a series of teen suicides caught media attention a few summers ago. In each of the cases, teens committed suicide because they were bullied and taunted for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. Some of these teens were queer and some weren't. That fact doesn't really matter because the ultimate harm was done.

Savage and Miller created a short podcasted film that they posted with the hopes of getting a 100 or so other people to do something similar. Each video would talk to GLBTQ kids about being bullied and make sure that they understood that even though they were going through a tough time, they will find that it gets better. They just have to stick it out. And their are people all over the world who are like them, who have been where they are, and want them to hold onto hope for the future because things will improve.

Neither knew how much the movement would take hold. Politicians like President Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron participated as did celebrities of all stripes, including young adult authors, athletes like the Boston Red Sox, and actors, musicians, and performers of every stripe. There were also everyday people who just stepped forward to share their stories as well so the teens would realize that happiness could be found without fame or fortune.

This book is made up of essays that summarize the transcripts of many of the videos produced or just new essays that are similar in style. Some or in native tongues like Arabic and Spanish and accompanied by an English translation.

It is really hard to read these works without getting teary-eyed at what some of these people have been through. They really open up about the hardships they confronted, and these really are calls for the kids to just hold out. These are personal please.

If you would like to learn more about the It Gets Better Project, hosted by the Trevor Project, you can see tons of videos and here all sorts of stories at the website.

The only complaint I have about the book is that, while it is incredibly moving, it is hard to read straight through. The message is so consistent throughout that it is hard to stay fresh. That is not to say that it is not a tremendously important message, but it is just difficult to stay unique throughout the length of the book. I would suspect most people would sit down and choose which people they would be interested in reading about.(less)

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Jul 22, 2011 Alisha rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, non-fiction

I first heard of the "It Gets Better" project from a Google Chrome commercial and was immediately intrigued by the concept. So, I decided to seek out the the actual "It Gets Better" videos. And a lot of them totally made me cry (as did the the Google chrome commercial). While the It Gets Better book didn't make me cry, I definitely do love the beautiful message that it's trying to send and I love that it's using a compilation of "normal" people and celebrities to get that message across.

It is ve...more I first heard of the "It Gets Better" project from a Google Chrome commercial and was immediately intrigued by the concept. So, I decided to seek out the the actual "It Gets Better" videos. And a lot of them totally made me cry (as did the the Google chrome commercial). While the It Gets Better book didn't make me cry, I definitely do love the beautiful message that it's trying to send and I love that it's using a compilation of "normal" people and celebrities to get that message across.

It is very saddening to hear about anyone killing themselves, but it is heartbreaking hearing about teens killing themselves because you automatically think "My God, they had their whole lives ahead of them". And then to find out that they killed themselves because they were bullied for being who they are even though there was nothing wrong with them to begin with is enough to make anybody start bawling. It Gets Better sends out the message that there is a future worth living for. Middle School and High School don't last forever and while there are bullies in every situation, you truly do get stronger and what other people think doesn't matter as much. One entry in particular states that it doesn't necessarily get better, but you get stronger. That's something I whole-heartedly agree with. Your life doesn't get perfect once high school is over whether you are LGBT or whether you are straight. But things do start to come into perspective and a lot of the time you start to see yourself in a positive light (at least a few times).

One minor complaint that I have about It Gets Better is that after a while it does start to seem repetitive. This is one of those instances where watching the videos gets the point across a little bit better because you see the contrast to all of those wonderful people posting videos. But either way, I highly recommend It Gets Better. This is a book that needs to be read by everyone gay or straight. It's a tragedy that teens feel so bad about their circumstances that they deprive the world of the wonderful human beings they can be. Screw the haters and live your life to the fullest.(less)

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Jun 27, 2011 Kathleen Hagen added it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011-audio-books, 2011-nonfiction

It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living by Dan Savage and Terry Miller, Narrated by Paul Michael Garcia, and Marguerite Gavin, produced by Blackstone Audio, downloaded from audible.com.

Every story can change a life.Growing up isn't easy. Many young people face daily tormenting and bullying, making them feel like they have nowhere to turn.
This is especially true for LGBT kids and teens who often hide their sexuality for fear of being bullied. Without othe...more It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living by Dan Savage and Terry Miller, Narrated by Paul Michael Garcia, and Marguerite Gavin, produced by Blackstone Audio, downloaded from audible.com.

Every story can change a life.Growing up isn't easy. Many young people face daily tormenting and bullying, making them feel like they have nowhere to turn.
This is especially true for LGBT kids and teens who often hide their sexuality for fear of being bullied. Without other openly gay adults and mentors in
their lives, they can't imagine what their future may hold. In many instances, gay and lesbian adolescents are taunted - even tortured - simply for being
themselves.After a number of tragic suicides by LGBT students who were bullied in school, syndicated columnist and author Dan Savage uploaded a video to
YouTube with his partner, Terry Miller, to inspire hope for LGBT youth facing harassment. Speaking openly about the bullying they suffered as teenagers
and how they both went on to lead rewarding adult lives, they launched the It Gets Better Project YouTube channel and initiated a worldwide phenomenon.
With over six thousand videos posted and over twenty million views in the first three months alone, the world has embraced the opportunity to provide personal,
honest, and heartfelt support for LGBT youth everywhere.It Gets Better is a collection of expanded essays and new material from celebrities, everyday people,
and teens who have posted videos of encouragement, as well as new contributors who have yet to post videos to the site. While many of these teens couldn't
see a positive future for themselves, others can. We can show LGBT youth the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach if they
can just get through their teen years. By sharing these stories, It Gets Better reminds teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone - and it
WILL get better. To see the thousands of videos posted, go to www.itgetsbetter.org.
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Jun 27, 2011 Christina G rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: essays, genders-and-sexualities

Some of the essays were really stellar, but I ended up skimming a lot of them due redundancy, questionable sincerity (I'm looking at you straight politicians), or dull writing styles. Maybe they were more engaging as videos? But then again I'm not really the targeted demographic, so maybe I'm not the best judge.

Despite my lukewarm feelings on the length and selection choices, I wholeheartedly recommend this book for any library or school collection. I think the message (that things get better or...more

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Jun 05, 2011 Liz DeCoster rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Anybody who knows or may know an LGBT-identified person. Basically, you should read this.

Shelves: glbt

To start with my quibble with the book: despite the positive message of the title and the essays, I sort of feel like things don't always get better for LGBT-identified people. Not everybody turns 18, goes off to college or moves to a queer-friendly neighborhood in a big city, achieves the acceptance of family and friends, finds a safe work environment, etc. Some of these folks will experience hate crimes and discrimination, be cut off from their families or religious communities, or struggle wi...more

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Nov 17, 2012 Jordan Gregory rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

When I was a deeply closeted college student, the It Gets Better Project held tremendous power. Throughout my senior year, I would watch the videos in my room, with headphones so my roommate wouldn't know what I was doing, and I would cry over the beauty and happiness that every video purported could one day be mine.

Now, I have been out for almost two years. I have been on dates, and even had relationships. I have found love, and I have found heartache. Above all, I am content with who I am, an...more When I was a deeply closeted college student, the It Gets Better Project held tremendous power. Throughout my senior year, I would watch the videos in my room, with headphones so my roommate wouldn't know what I was doing, and I would cry over the beauty and happiness that every video purported could one day be mine.

Now, I have been out for almost two years. I have been on dates, and even had relationships. I have found love, and I have found heartache. Above all, I am content with who I am, and have a supportive family and network of friends.

So, I read this book more out of curiosity than any need for reassurance or encouragement. But, I still found it a compelling read, and an important one for LGBTQ youth.

The stories contained in this volume are varied; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and ally voices are all represented, and offer different perspectives on overcoming bullying and embracing difference.

Most importantly, the stories are, for the most part, relatable. People from all walks of life are able to convey their experiences to readers, and allow them to see the similarities to their own struggles and heartache. If I were still closeted, I would have found unspeakable hope in this volume; as an out gay man, I still do.

My one criticism: while the overarching message of the book was positive, I still found some submissions to be condescending, self-absorbed, and not at all helpful to a young person in the closet. Some authors decided to gloss over their past pain, and instead focus on their accomplishments, with their sexuality as a footnote. Celebrities, especially, had a tendency to offer shameless plugs for their accomplishments and careers rather than a sense of how they supplanted their negative emotions with positivity and self-confidence. I am not strengthened by what you've done if I don't understand how you did it.

Despite my qualms, I would wholeheartedly recommend this volume to an LGBTQ person who needs to hear, loud and clear, that it gets better. Should my perpetual education ever end and I find myself in a high school classroom of my very own, I will offer this book freely to students who need to hear its message. (less)

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Mar 29, 2012 Anna Penner rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I read this book, and am rating it, with a clear bias. I do not love the It Gets Better Project.

I think that the promises of the campaign, and of the book, are often false. Life as a LGBTQ adult is not all sparkles, rainbows, puppies, cute dates and brilliant people (all promises of the book)! While many adults have happier lives than they did as children, there are still challenges and there is no guarantee that things improve. In fact, things only improve when we take action, confront hatred...more

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Mar 22, 2012 Pamela rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: anyone working with GLBTQ Youth

I received this book through First Reads and was a little worried it would be a challenge for me. I have a difficult time focusing when a book is written as short stories or short essays. I knew a little about the YouTube project, but must admit I have not watched most of it. I am a school nurse in a high school and felt like this book would provide insight for my practice. The book is wonderfully written. I did feel as if some of the essays might be more compelling on video because there were s...more

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Apr 18, 2011 Josh rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone

Shelves: biography-autobiography, children-young-adult, gay-lesbian, read-in-2011, religion, woman-author

What a truly remarkable, inspiring, and life-affirming collection of stories from LGBTQ people and allies! As an offshoot of the YouTube internet video project dedicated to reaching out to youth feeling marginalized & terrorized, this book gathers messages of hope with the common idea that life gets better for LGBTQ youth as they get older and that suicide is not a solution. What a fantastic idea! This book should have a place on the shelves of every school library and be handed out to GSAs...more

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Oct 12, 2011 Justin rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: lgbt, nonfiction, suicide

For roughly three years of my teenaged life, I was the target of anti-gay bullying. The fact that I am quite heterosexual did nothing to alleviate it; in fact, the bullies harassed my girlfriend, too, just for good measure.

Granted, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. The main instigator was as cowardly as he was stupid, and he lost much of his power to intimidate when he backed out of a surprise opportunity to settle things one-on-one, outside of school (one that I was more than happ...more For roughly three years of my teenaged life, I was the target of anti-gay bullying. The fact that I am quite heterosexual did nothing to alleviate it; in fact, the bullies harassed my girlfriend, too, just for good measure.

Granted, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. The main instigator was as cowardly as he was stupid, and he lost much of his power to intimidate when he backed out of a surprise opportunity to settle things one-on-one, outside of school (one that I was more than happy to take advantage of). But he always had a flock of his mouth-breathing buddies with him, some of whom were twice my size and seemed intent on really hurting me. Furthermore, he was consistent. If ten days had gone by without them sauntering up to me at lunch, I could reliably expect an encounter at any moment. Even though things rarely went beyond words, the constant, absolute mindlessness of the regular harassment wore on me.

Worst of all, the adults in my life seemed powerless to stop it, in some cases willfully so. After an altercation that almost got physical (I had a soda can thrown at my face, and pushed the little shit who did it away from me), I was herded into a vice-principal's office. I was solemnly warned by my school’s administration that because I threw my tormentors’ words back at them, demanding to know what it was about “faggots” that seemed to get them so hot and bothered, I could be suspended for “sexual harassment” if I did it again. My parents gave me moral support, but it was clear they weren’t going to get any help from the school, at least in an official capacity. Because I felt confident enough to handle it on my own, I didn’t want to risk making things worse by kicking it up to them until the moment I felt that I had no other choice, which thankfully never came. And even then, things almost went very bad one night, when a van full of drunk chuckleheads (one of whom I thought was a friendly acquaintance of mine) tried to trap me, my girlfriend, and her little sister in a deserted parking lot after a school dance, forcing me to almost wreck my car getting away.

It was a serendipitous combination of my own moxie and the support of friends that got me through that time, but I didn’t escape unscathed. I still carry the marks of that old rage, at peers who could be so arbitrarily cruel, and at grown men and women who were supposed to help me and instead stood by and let it happen. Even though I was more angry than despondent over it, I can easily imagine a victim of such treatment feeling like they have no escape and no hope, especially a young victim who deals with it over the course of years. Even with more publicity of bullied teens committing suicide, many people still seem to think that this isn’t a problem, or even more reprehensible, that it isn’t a problem worth caring about. It’s really sad that a book like this even needs to be written, but it does, and the inspiring essays within serve a crucial need.

This book is basically a print extension of the “It Gets Better Project,” an online compendium of short videos recorded by LGBT and straight adults that speak candidly to teens being bullied over their sexuality or perceived sexuality. The project is meant as a lifeline for kids who are considering ending their own lives, by assuring and/or reminding them that while it may not seem so at the time, high school isn’t forever. If they can endure the static that they are getting from their peers, the adults in their communities, or even from their own families, they can still grow up and create a normal, loving, happy life, just like any other person. The assertion of things actually getting better is subjective, considering how ugly people out in the world still are, but many of the contributors acknowledge this. The point isn’t to paint an unrealistic picture of a bully-free life after high school, but to give these kids a glimpse of the power that they will have over their own life, and the great things waiting for them, once they get through this comparably short period of time.

In light of that, I feel like a bad person for not giving this a perfect rating. Honestly, though, this is only a cover-to-cover read for the harried kids who really need a chorus of voices affirming that things get better, and for those who are close to one and want to help them. For everyone else, it’s more of an inspirational read, to be picked up every now and again and read in short bursts. Each essay is a couple pages long, and follows the same formula: a description of bullying, the consideration of suicide, the good things that have happened since, and an affirmation of how loved and important the reader is, and how things will eventually get better for them, too. The essays do have variety, with authors that are gay and straight, old and young, politicians and students, men, women, and transgendered. There are two pretty awesome comics, and one screed aimed at the bullies rather than the bullied. All together, though, they do follow the same formula, making them undeniably repetitive. From the standpoint of a curious reader, the website is a bit more engaging than the book.

But that takes nothing away from the point of the book. In the introduction, Savage writes that the It Gets Better project was born out of a realization that no parent or school was going to invite him to speak directly to LGBT youth, who need to hear this message the most, so he took matters into his own hands. Not every teen has access to the Internet, and many who do can’t afford to have a browsing history that will call the attention of their family on them; this book is for them. Honestly, though, speaking as a parent and as a librarian, it’s a book that every teen should at least flip open, wWhether it’s cover-to-cover or a simple skim through a couple of the essays. The sentiment behind the book is absolutely correct, and many kids and teens desperately need to hear it.(less)

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Mar 18, 2012 Laura rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult-2012

This book is a compilation of essays and new material from celebrities and everyday people about how life gets better for those in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered society after their teens years. I was interested in reading this book because my teenage sister is a Lesbian and I have often admired her strength and commitment to staying true to herself even when high school can be so judgmental and unaccepting of diversity in sexuality. This book gives hope to those kids that life wi...more

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May 16, 2011 Hoss rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

The whole project is amazing of course. Coordinated and vocal pushback against homophobic bullying in this country is long overdue. All they really had was hoping LGBT kids knew so little about how small the world they were living in was that they would submit to the "authority" figures around them and believe that the closet was their only option. A really good mix of celebrity and regular folk testimony about how small the world we all grow up in really is and how much you can make the life yo...more

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May 11, 2011 Michael rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This is a hard book to rate. I think the "It Gets Better" video project is a beautiful thing, and I hope that it's helping people on both sides to gain some perspective. But video is probably the best format for this. As a book, because the stories are so short, things start to feel a little repetitive after a while. The stories are still good, but it feels like a little too much surface.

On one hand, the large number of short entries gives a better range of experience, so hopefully every LGBTQ...more

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May 03, 2011 Meghan rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: essays, glbtq, anthology

It gets better because not only do you have more control over your environment once you're an adult - meaning that you can MOVE AWAY and live in the city, or in a cabin in the woods - but you can have more control over what messages you absorb from family, friends, and our culture. However, one of the most striking things in these essays is how similar they are, despite being written by people from all different parts of the country, of different ages, backgrounds, and nationalities. One theme t...more

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Jul 30, 2011 Jenny rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: read2011, advising

I've appreciated the It Gets Better campaign, that started in YouTube to let teens know that they just have to hang on until they are in a place where they have more control over their lives. I think this message is important, whether it is about coming out, coming into your own, or just embracing who you are. I wish my neighbor had this message before he took his own life in high school, and I hope it helps people.

This book is primarily a compilation of the transcriptions of a selection of peo...more

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Apr 12, 2011 Jennie rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

If I were rating the value of this book in terms of its importance to a collection and what was selected for inclusion I would give it 10 stars. It should be required reading in every high school on earth and it gives a great picture of the lives of a wide variety of people in the GLBTQ community. I wish I could put a copy in the hands of everyone who needs the affirmation that "It Gets Better."

But I am not the target for this book, and so it was a bit like thumbing through an encyclopedia on a...more

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Aug 10, 2011 Thomas rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone, especially those who are GLBT or know someone who is

Shelves: glbt, nonfiction

The fact that this book exists makes me happy. It really does.

I know so many people who wish that there had been a book like It Gets Better when they were a teenager. Not just people who contributed to this book itself, but people I talk to in real life. Better late than never, right?

This book fulfills its purpose perfectly, as I am 100% convinced that it will, and it does, get better. While not superb in its structuring - there is a bit of redundancy and some of the stories are on the weaker s...more

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Apr 06, 2011 Eileen Charbonneau rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Thanks to our son Lawrence and son-in-law Teddy, my husband and I speak up for our family on page 240. Just learned that this hardcover sampling of over 10,000 Youtube videos made for the "It Gets Better" project has hit the NY Times bestseller list! Could not be more pleased.

All proceeds to anti-bullying non-profits, folks!

I invite you to: TAKE THE PLEDGE:
Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message
to my friends, family and neighbors. I'll speak up agai...more

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Apr 23, 2012 Leah rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

A mix of distinguished and totally undistinguished people assuring screwed-up kids such as myself that everything will be ok.

I would have hoped for more distinguished people--or, really, more distinctive stories. Because the "normal person" stories (and even a lot of the "distinguished gay person" ones) mostly go like this: "I realized I was gay and it sucked because high school always sucks. Then I went to college. College is magical; everyone is open-minded and there are a million queers who...more

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Aug 13, 2011 Elizabeth Nelson rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: young-adult, non-fiction

I like most people have watched many of the videos on YouTube but to read the transcripts of what people said I think makes it that more powerful. As a person who was bullied almost all of their school years until graduating high school I can not say enough that reminding everyone not just those that are going through issues with sexuality that it gets better is so important to say and hear. Like the videos yes it has message from the famous and the not famous but I think the most important is t...more

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Aug 08, 2011 Patty rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, coming-of-age, coming-out, young-adult, essays, non-fiction, sex, glbqt, self-image, community, relationships, bullying, family

This has been an incredible project - in Savage's and Miller's minds they can't have thought this would have such an impact. I don't know how many videos have been made at this point, but I would have never guessed that the videos would include sports figures, TV stars, politicians and so many other people.

I am glad that this book also exists for those who can't get to the Internet or just want something they can look at over and over again. I think the mix of stories in the book is well done an...more

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Feb 28, 2012 Zev Friedman rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Everyone

It's messages of hope for LGBTQ teens at risk for attempting suicide, but I gained a lot from it. I realized that so many others of my generation also were tortured and tormented in school for being queer. So it somehow normalized my miserable teenage years. I guess I felt supported all these years later(!). The stories were moving and compelling. I really wanted to meet some of these people. A negative thing for me: it put me back in that mindset, in those years, and it awakened that anger that...more

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Nov 23, 2012 Sam rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: lgbtq

I guess this book is good... If you're a gay white male that's willing to sit tight and endure until you hit college.

Honestly, though, out of about thirty stories, I only remember one being by a trans* person, and it didn't really address the specific issues that trans youth have. I also only remember a few stories with bisexual or pansexual authors, and I don't remember any mentioning being a person of color.

Basically, while it did have plenty of stories about it getting better for people, this...more

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May 31, 2011 Sabrina rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was an incredible and inspiring book to read. I bought it for myself, with the intention of exposing myself to the stories and lives of more than those people who are my friends, and realized that it is an excellent teaching tool. I have used it in my school's Gay-Straight-Alliance to help my students understand a point of view that is different from their own. I find that letting them hear the words of adults who were teased, bullied and even beaten up for simply being who they are hits ho...more

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About Dan Savage

Dan Savage is a writer, TV personality, and activist best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage’s sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. He is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle’s weekly alternative newspaper, and his...more Dan Savage is a writer, TV personality, and activist best known for his political and social commentary, as well as his honest approach to sex, love and relationships.

Savage’s sex advice column, “Savage Love,” is syndicated in newspapers and websites throughout the United States, Canada, Europe and Asia. He is the Editorial Director of The Stranger, Seattle’s weekly alternative newspaper, and his writing has appeared in publications including The New York Times, The New York Times Magazine, GQ, Rolling Stone, The Onion, and on Salon.com.

As an author, Savage’s books include: American Savage: Insights, Slights and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics; Savage Love; The Kid: What Happened When My Boyfriend and I Decided to Get Pregnant (PEN West Award for Creative Nonfiction, Lambda Literary Award for Nonfiction); Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America; The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage and My Family, and co-author of How to be a Person.

In addition to his appearances on CNN, MSNBC, and The Colbert Report, Savage is a contributor to Ira Glass’s This American Life, and has appeared on NPR’s Fresh Air with Terry Gross, HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher, and ABC's 20/20. Savage is a frequent and popular speaker on college campuses across the United States and Canada.

In September 2010, Savage and his husband Terry Miller created a YouTube video to inspire hope for LGBT young people facing harassment. In response to a number of students taking their own lives, Savage and Miller wanted to create a personal message to let LGBT youth know that “it gets better”. Today, the It Gets Better Project (www.itgetsbetter.org) has become a global movement, inspiring more than 50,000 It Gets Better videos viewed over 50 million times. The It Gets Better book, co-edited by Savage and Miller, was published in March 2011, and two It Gets Better, documentary specials have aired on MTV. In 2012 the It Gets Better Project received the Governors Award Emmy from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

Dan Savage grew up in Chicago and now lives in Seattle, Washington with his husband and their son, DJ.(less)

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The Kid: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family

Savage Love: Straight Answers from America's Most Popular Sex Columnist

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