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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
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Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

3.94  ·  Rating Details  ·  284 Ratings  ·  28 Reviews
Discover a Life Filled with Passion, Meaning, and Purpose

New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford leads us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us. Providing the tools to end self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the façade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic lif
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ebook, 256 pages
Published March 17th 2009 by HarperCollins e-books (first published January 1st 2008)
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(showing 1-30 of 605)
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Kim Olver
This is a book that generated mixed feelings in me. I definitely appreciate Ms. Ford's attention to the subject of self-sabotage but I don't agree with her assessment of our shadow sides. (Perhaps I am more in denial than I think.)

Ms. Ford does an eloquent job writing about the multiple ways we sabotage ourselves in our best attempts to do good and be good. I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled, "The Masks." In it, she chronicles the various masks our wounded ego wears to show the world wh
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drowningmermaid
Mar 01, 2011 drowningmermaid rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: audio
So far... this is sounding like a bunch of pseudo-psychological pablum.

Starts off raising my hackles with statements like: "this is why I am the perfect person to help you" and other 'behold, the hundreds of thousands I have healed' type stuff, accompanied by a bunch of obscure pop-culture references that are now out of date and which I wouldn't know anyway because I, unlike her intended audience, do not keep tabs on the doings of celebrities.

I am waiting for her to acknowledge that her "embraci
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American Business Institute
A critical read for a complete understanding of the human condition.

Ford illustrates that the root causes by which sabotage our relationships, our finances, our families, and our careers are rooted in our unknown and unconscious programing.

This programming results in an unhealthy belief concerning our dark sides. The pain and shame we feel "drives us to use food, alcohol, sex, drugs, excitement, collecting, gossiping and philandering as ways to distract ourselves from seeing that which we deem u
...more
Reza Gharibi
Sep 11, 2015 Reza Gharibi rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
بعضي وقت ها اتفاقات عجيبي و جالبي توي زندگي آدم ها رخ ميده. سال اول دبيرستان براي اردوي تفريحي با قطار به مشهد رفتيم ، ذهنم مدت ها درگير سوالاتي مثل اسم همين كتاب بود! پدرم براي قطار اين كتاب رو بم داد كه مطالعه كنم! اما شيطنت اون زمان باعث شده بود حتي اسم رو كتاب رو هم نخونم و كتاب از ته كيفم بيرون نياد!!!
اين سوال مدت زيادي تو ذهنم بود تا كتاب رو بعد سال بعد اون اتفاق خوندم و ياداون روز افتادم و با خنده پيش خودم گفتم كاش تو قطار ميخوندمش.
كتاب روانشناسي خوبي هست و با نگاه جالبي به قضيه "چرا آد
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Doneen
Nov 13, 2009 Doneen rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
For me, the writing was muddled, and the author kept saying the same things over and over and over. Everything helpful (and there were a few helpful, thought-provoking things) could have been said in a clearer and much more concise way.
Alan Annand
Oct 14, 2012 Alan Annand rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: astrologers, psychologists, counselors
As a consulting astrologer with an active practice, I have a vested interest in knowing what (aside from Mars and other angry planets) makes people tick from a psychological perspective. And because I also try to be of use in a coaching role, I tend to read quite a lot of "self-help" books to understand why so many people ignore good advice and just do what they want anyway. This book was quite useful in many respects. Its major thesis is that we all have a Shadow Self. For the most part, we run ...more
Steve Boyko
Mar 18, 2014 Steve Boyko rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
I picked this up at the library on a whim. I think the premise is good and she makes some good points. However, the book suffers from what 90% of self-help books suffer from - length. She takes a long time to get to each point, and spends way too many words to hammer home each point. This book could be 40 pages long and would be a great read, but as it is, the temptation to skim is overwhelming.
Donia
Mar 03, 2014 Donia rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I didn't find the style of writing engaging nor clear. The book seems to lack depth or personality. It would refer to people that the reader apparently should know as it would site a well known person's failings but it didn't say what those failings were. All in all, I appreciate the attempt to shed light on this subject but the illumination just didn't happen for me.
Darin
Nov 14, 2008 Darin rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone struggling with getting out of their own way.
Shelves: required-reading
Critical for a complete understanding of the human condition.

Ford illustrates that the root causes by which sabotage our relationships, our finances, our families, and our careers are rooted in our unknown and unconscious programing.

This programming results in an unhealthy belief concerning our dark sides. The pain and shame we feel "drives us to use food, alcohol, sex, drugs, excitement, collecting, gossiping and philandering as ways to distract ourselves from seeing that which we deem unaccep
...more
TW Yeung
Aug 28, 2012 TW Yeung rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
it's quite a shocker to be confronted with a detailed description of the type of persona I used to put on just to hide my true self. not that I'm saying I don't wear a mask these days, but like what Ford intelligently illustrated in the book, life is about taking from where we failed/ were failed and starting to flourish.

what the book seems to contain beneath the words is a wisdom far greater than a simple psychoanalytical writing, a wisdom that embraces what life always is.

love never fails, for
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Donna
Apr 01, 2014 Donna rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: factual
Insightful book that very cleverly and clearly explains issues of the psyche that are relevant to all. And does so even better than the psychological community.
Chris
Apr 13, 2010 Chris rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
You need to be 'ready' to read this book. Be prepared to truly be open and honest with yourself and to explore your inner world with no prejudices. This book is making me realize who I really am and how I have been fooling the world around me, out of fear, shame and wanting to fit in. I was dumped by my girlfriend after a 6-month rocky relationship, so I was ready to learn from it. I dont want to keep repeating the same unsuccessful patterns I've been following for most of my life.
Anita Jacob
Sometimes I feel too much of explanations can confuse or get a reader lost. The concept of the book and what Debbie Ford shares is great. She introduces you to your wounded ego and explains why we end up doing things that destroy our lives...she also touches on how to heal ourselves. However, I felt that each section dragged on and on...with a lot of repetition, so much so that when I finished one section of the chapter I felt a little giddy, as if I'd been on a merry go round.
Jennifer
The book is really interesting especially if you are into psychology. It really looks at past emotional experiences as an affect on current behavior. The comparison is like a volcano or a beach ball being held under water. Also, I don't think the book is as intimidating as the title. Bad things are necessarily killing people, they can be as simple as actions outside of who you are as a person.
Shane
Mar 30, 2009 Shane rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition

Great book for people who want to learn more about themselves and understand why others do what they do. She talks about different types of people, masks we wear, how what we like/hate tells us about ourselves, etc. Good for taking ownership/responsibility for one's life, choices, actions, and emotions - so we can find our true selves and be as effective as we can be.
Anna French
Jul 13, 2009 Anna French rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
Interesting concept, and somewhat true I'm sure. But attributing all our negative behavior to shame-bodies seems a bit of an oversimplification. I read through some of the different personality types (both predator and prey) and could see characteristics of at least a few in myself, if not to the degree described. I was left thinking, "so what does that mean for me?"
M2
Jun 09, 2010 M2 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Debbie Welsh
Sep 17, 2012 Debbie Welsh rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Another great piece of work by Debbie Ford. I love her understanding of the human condition and I trust in her work because she has been there. We cannot teach or take anyone where we have never been ourselves. You don't know what you don't know. Thanks for another contribution of great work.
Samantha
Jul 20, 2013 Samantha rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great introduction to shadow work, for a pathway of solid self improvement. This goes beyond personality types for identification and healing of hidden truths that hinder progress and keep us trapped in cycles of thought.
Raechelle Thomas
I could not even get half way through this book...just didn't stroke me right. I'm sure it may be interesting or helpful to some people...but It just didn't strike a good chord with me.
~:epiphany:~
Jan 02, 2009 ~:epiphany:~ rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found this book said alot of the same things I read in A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle. It is almost as if those two compared notes.
Molly
Reading about the "masks" that people wear in their public and private persona was pretty fascinating.
Beth
Feb 23, 2016 Beth rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-improvement
It's good but not grabbing me as much as Secret of the Shadow did.
Elizabeth Ferry
Dec 01, 2009 Elizabeth Ferry rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Straight-forward writing made this book easier to digest. Hard subject.
E. Williams
Jun 07, 2009 E. Williams rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
Interesting book, I feel there are things in it we could learn from.
Tami
Oct 24, 2008 Tami rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I love shadow work and Debbie Ford is amazing with it.
Lesley Pendleton
If there's nothing in this for you, you're in denial.
Nicole
Nicole rated it really liked it
Jul 24, 2016
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Debbie Ford was an American author of self-help books. Her first book, "The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers", spawned eight more books in the genre and dealt with confronting one's "dark side" rather than ignoring it. Ford also hosted television and radio shows related to her books.

She passed away due to complications from cancer in 2013.
More about Debbie Ford...

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“Right now, within each of us there are two voices fighting to be heard: the voice of reason, good conscience, and the good of the greater whole; and the voice of fear, shame, and selfishness. The voice of our higher self versus the voice of our lower self. This is the dilemma, the inner struggle between the dark and the light aspects of our humanity. One voice is relaxed, trusting, and stable, while the other is fearful, nervous, and calculating. One holds the promise of serenity, peace of mind, and an innate knowledge that things are as they should be, while the other echoes the fragmented uncertainty of the unknown. One tells us to do the right thing, not to worry if our neighbors have more than us, and the other tells us to work harder, to find a way to get, collect, and win the prize for having the most toys. One tells us that we are in an abusive situation and should get out, while the other minimizes the destruction, saying, “You’ll never find better than this.” One says, “You are perfect as you are,” while the other insists, “You’re not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, or successful enough.” One urges, “Get help, it’s OK, we all have struggles to overcome,” and the other taunts, teases, and humiliates us, constantly warning us that if we speak up about our dark thoughts, insecurities, and fears, we will be shunned, punished, or abandoned.” 1 likes
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