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Men, Women, and Children

3.57 of 5 stars 3.57 · rating details · 646 ratings · 89 reviews

The author of "The Average American Male" and "The Lie" returns with a shocking and salacious--yet surprisingly rich and subtle--new novel of the average American family.

In this, his most ambitious and surprising book yet, Kultgen explores the sexual pressures at work on two different generations navigating the same Internet landscape: junior high school students and their...more

Paperback, 320 pages

Published June 21st 2011 by Harper Perennial (first published 2011)

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Jul 23, 2011 Tara rated it 5 of 5 stars

My thoughts:
I'm a huge fan of Chad Kultgen's novels. I happened across "The Lie" (Chad Kultgen's 2nd book) a year or two ago and devoured it. As soon as I finished "The Lie", I immediately picked up "The Average American Male"(his first book), which I finished in a day. I bought Men, Women and Children on the day it released, I was so excited to read it.

I was slightly disappointed. In his other two novels I really felt like we were building up to something. This novel had no real clear ending. N...more My thoughts:
I'm a huge fan of Chad Kultgen's novels. I happened across "The Lie" (Chad Kultgen's 2nd book) a year or two ago and devoured it. As soon as I finished "The Lie", I immediately picked up "The Average American Male"(his first book), which I finished in a day. I bought Men, Women and Children on the day it released, I was so excited to read it.

I was slightly disappointed. In his other two novels I really felt like we were building up to something. This novel had no real clear ending. Nothing really HAPPENED throughout the book. It seemed to be nothing more than a glimpse into a wide group of people's personal lives. If you really sit down and think about it the subject matter in this book is kind of heavy. It explores the internet generation's extreme access to sex and how it affects young teens. It also explores sex (or the lack of) between married couples.

The characters were very interesting. However, a few of them seemed very similar to each other. It was hard for me to differentiate between some of them. One of my favorite parts of the book was how he gave both viewpoints between two junior high kids that liked each other, but were both too self-conscious and insecure to act on their feelings. It definitely reminded me of the misgivings I had when I was in junior-high. "Does he like me? Should I talk to him?" etc...

Though I did have a problem with the plot, his writing is (as always) superb. This book is mainly based around sex. It's graphic, crude and crass. If you're easily offended I would definitely recommend staying away from this book. It's not erotica or anything like that, but the main topic is sex. His books are more MAN-ish books (like I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, but more....?literary?).

The Lie is still my favorite of Chad Kultgen's novels, but I'll be eagerly awaiting his next novel and will probably buy it on the release date. His voice and writing style are very unique, so I really hope he releases another novel next year. I'll be waiting til I can get my next Chad Kultgen fix!

Judge a Book By It's Cover:

I really like his covers. Even though his books aren't a series, all the covers match! Although the covers don't seem to reveal much, they intrigue me since they are so plain.(less)

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Sep 10, 2011 Nina rated it 5 of 5 stars

I'm not quite finished with the book yet, but so far I have to say that it is a magnificent novel! I've been following Chad (and will continue to follow him) ever since stumbling upon The Lie in a bookstore. While The Lie focused more on a plot, Men, Women, and Children focuses more on the development of characters through a period of time. The way that the characters interact amongst themselves and with others is truly amazing. I'll admit that there were a lot of characters to keep track of, an...more

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Jul 16, 2011 Jeff rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book continues my love of Chad Kultgen as a writer. Soon as i begin his books i become immediately enraptured until i am finished. Then i become immediately sad that i finished so quick and now will have to wait until he writes a new one. With each new book he brings a new maturity and a nuanced view of the world. Though he tends to look more in the dark places.

His characters are treated the same way. His books usually start off shocking with the depiction of events, Language, issues and f...more

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Jul 12, 2011 Jackie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: work-review-related-reading

I have a sort of love/hate thing going with Chad Kultgen's books. In "The Average American Male", it seemed like he worded everything for shock value and the biggest cringe factor he could get. But after polling some of my average American guy friends about some of the points in the book, most said, "Ya, that's pretty much right." "The Lie", Kultgen's second book centering the concept of the man/woman relationship dynamic was just as brutal to my tender heart, and polled, once again, as pretty a...more

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Mar 22, 2013 Hayley rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I heard about this novel from a YouTube video review by the popular adult star Stoya, who also features in the book as a pop culture reference (something she said made her feel "terrified, excited, and terrified"). I finished the book a mere few hours ago, and yet I am still trying to find the words to portray how I feel about it. It is dark, insightful, shocking, awkward, and yet it reflects society perfectly in that it reveals sexuality in the era of the social network. It contrasts the buddin...more

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Jun 03, 2011 Michelle Vivienne rated it 5 of 5 stars

I always feel the need to go to confession after reading a Chad Kultgen novel. I could not put this book down!

This book follows the lives of a group of 13 year olds and their parents in a suburban town. I really enjoyed tapping into the thought processes of these teens as they dealt with issues like depression, losing one’s virginity, anorexia, dealing with divorce…the list goes on and on. I felt knowledgeable after reading this. I felt informed. But the process of learning is an uncomfortable...more

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Jun 27, 2011 Peter Knox rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: kindle, fiction

Wow. This left me shocked and breathless, like all of Chad's work before it.
Men, Women, & Children is hardly as plain as its title suggests. This can't-put-it-down fast read is from the all-knowing omniscient and changing POV of many 8th graders and their parents as they navigate the fall semester together.
Kultgen writes with the same detachment that gives equal weight and insight into each of his character's personal dilemmas (sexless marriage, divorce, policing your child's internet, Worl...more

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Jun 27, 2011 Allison rated it 4 of 5 stars

A loaner from a coworker. Started on my lunch break, finished after work. The characters were more developed in this book, and I feel like I got to know them instead of just their strange quirks. Initially, there were too many characters to keep track of, but some stopped having their own narrative sections, and as I got to know them, they were fairly easy to keep apart. Kultgen continued to use first and last names well into the novel though, as well as clarifying when people were related, so I...more

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Jul 16, 2012 Jenny rated it 5 of 5 stars

I bought this book yesterday and I'm already halfway finished with it. Every opportunity I get to read it, I do. It's a simple read, written in a very curt style that is to the point and descriptive without being overly wordy or too artsy. I think that style really captures the essence of the technology driven youth of today. Everything is condensed and to the point with them or shortened into an acronym and lacks formalities. This is shown in every aspect of their lives from their relationships...more

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Jun 26, 2011 Marty rated it 5 of 5 stars

Once again, Chad Kultgen has left me once again to try and gather my thoughts after reading his most recent novel, "Men, Women and Children." I work at a bookstore and I am always leery of suggesting Kultgen. His outrageous, illicit, and downright pornographic nature of his books always gives me pause. On the other hand, Chad Kultgen taps into something that no other author that I have read has ever managed to do, place a mirror up to humanity's underside in such a nonchalant, matter of the fact...more

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May 31, 2011 Jason rated it 5 of 5 stars

Chad Kultgen, I just had your miscarriage

Men Women & Children, the third novel from Chad Kultgen is beyond good, and worth every second you spend reading it.

For many years, I didn’t think it was possible to eclipse Fight Club. In unique ways Kultgen does just that with this new book. Relentless and seamless at once, MW&C reminds me of what John Cheever would have become if he’d lived another thirty years. Suburbia to Mr. Kultgen isn’t a dry and dull grind infused with scotch and soda, ta...more Chad Kultgen, I just had your miscarriage

Men Women & Children, the third novel from Chad Kultgen is beyond good, and worth every second you spend reading it.

For many years, I didn’t think it was possible to eclipse Fight Club. In unique ways Kultgen does just that with this new book. Relentless and seamless at once, MW&C reminds me of what John Cheever would have become if he’d lived another thirty years. Suburbia to Mr. Kultgen isn’t a dry and dull grind infused with scotch and soda, talking radios and wives gone mad. It is a place where video games rule, sex starts in the eighth grade and marriage is a joke. Kultgen immediately slathers us in anal sex, underage longings wrapped in forbidden intimacies, and a racial pot luck party that will blow your skirt up.

There are things about the married couples in this book that push the limits of reality. Don and Rachel live in a dead end marriage, and select different paths to satisfaction. One of the kids, Tim, the star football player has dropped out of the game and finds himself attracted to a slut in a sheep’s skirt, a grade school romance with a dash of jism. Kent and Dawn find more in common than just the Parents Against The Internet meeting they happen to attend. Organically it seems to be the most natural relationship in the book.

All the teenagers, and adults in this story want and desire things that are basic human needs. Our puritanical society says those needs are bad. At first the filthy content, lurid stories, adventures, or in some cases misadventures seem smutty and the language too blue for post-modern audiences. Looking back on all of these scenes, this isn’t unusual at all, and doesn’t strike me as wild and crazy. I’ve only touched on a few, like telling you the good parts of The Usual Suspects (not that part), then saying, “now shut up and go see it.”

When Marla says to Tyler “I want to have your abortion,” in Fight Club, it was a whopper moment, and Kultgen goes one better in this book. Palahniuk was delivering the whorehouse theory: either you lay down and get fucked, or leave. That was the life he painted. It was effective for those times, now in MW&C Kultgen is making the point that life post 9-11 is emotionally vacant. There is nothing that can eclipse that day for our generation, or for generations to come. In the middle of this story, Kultgen has two students do a school project about that terrible day and what certain characters were doing when it went down. Since 9-11, what has been worse? Nothing. Poisoning the ocean? War? Gas north of $4? Genocidal foreclosure? From what I’ve seen, the biggest out pouring of tears came when Michael Jackson took the dirt nap (my generation never mourned a person harder than we did MJ).

There are severely sharp edges to Kultgen’s work, Average American Male and The Lie are both infused with blistering takes on toxic people and poisonous relationships. He often describes the outcome of wealth, and how different characters operate in financial comfort. MW&C pinballs back and forth between several students and their parents, in a way that is almost like a reality television show, and no one is surprised by what they find.

We are taken through an entire season of football, without Tim, and this helps frame the story, in ways that become obvious and circular.The different voices here almost become overwhelming, and at times you want one to continue as another parent or other student pops up. That wanting goes away quickly as you get sucked into an on going drama, which at it’s core isn’t a drama, but part of these lives. I thought the story hit its stride much earlier than Kultgen’s previous novels, and the nasty parts don’t come until we have been hypnotized by a central figures multiple disorders. I can’t give names to these characters because you would see this stuff coming when you do read this book.

No matter how screwed up and depraved you think this story is, it is nothing like what’s going on at your neighbors house right now. I’m sorry to say you will have to wait until July to buy this wildly entertaining novel. MW&C should be given to every parent in America that has a child entering the 9th grade. If you’re worried your kid is doing something fucked up, you’re right. Sure, kids need to read J.D Salinger, but today’s parents should read the novels of Chad Kultgen.(less)

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Mar 03, 2013 Shawn rated it 3 of 5 stars

A quick read. I enjoyed it but found the activities and conversations between 8th graders problematic. The plot and characters would have been more believable had they been 10th graders - there were simply too many themes and issues that are more accurate well into the onset of high school. I also felt that the ending was sudden and rushed - definitely no closure and the tying up of lose ends felt sloppy and unemotional making it difficult for me to care about the characters and feel satisfied w...more

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Jul 25, 2011 Michelle added it

In Men, Women & Children, Chad Kultgen pulls no punches in his pointedly matter-of-fact exploration of human sexuality and its impact on relationships. His cast of characters is large, and the situations in which his characters find themselves cross the gamut from normal, healthy sexual expression to fetishes and beyond. Of even greater interest is the age range of his characters and the impact of social media and the Internet on fueling certain issues.

Men, Women & Children is not for t...more In Men, Women & Children, Chad Kultgen pulls no punches in his pointedly matter-of-fact exploration of human sexuality and its impact on relationships. His cast of characters is large, and the situations in which his characters find themselves cross the gamut from normal, healthy sexual expression to fetishes and beyond. Of even greater interest is the age range of his characters and the impact of social media and the Internet on fueling certain issues.

Men, Women & Children is not for the faint of heart. From the opening sentence, the reader will know whether s/he will be able to stomach the subject matter. It reads like a clinical description of pornography at times, but this method of storytelling only serves to proves Mr. Kultgen's point. It is very reminiscent of George Michael's hit song, "(I Want Your) Sex", in that Mr. Kultgen showcases that everyone thinks about/obsesses about sex in some fashion and that doing so is healthy. It is how people use that obsession to drive their everyday interactions where the problems occur.

When one removes the shock and awe from the explicitness of the text, the reader is met with an abundance of thought-provoking situations. The role the Internet plays in creating and supporting unhealthy habits among young teens is something about which every parent must be aware. The fact that the teens in question are in eighth grade, even though their actions and issues seem so much older than that, is both disturbing and shocking only because of the fact that the behaviors and situations discussed in the novel are more typical than one would like to realize. One discussion with a parent of a thirteen-year-old and the reader understands that what Mr. Kultgen is describing is, unfortunately, normal for this age group. Exploring one's sexuality through exposure to pornography and experimentation, fighting parental control, pressure to perform (whether it is in sports or in the bedroom), wanting to fit in and feel important - this is very much what a modern-day teen faces each and every day. Mr Kultgen presents this tragic but true situation rather clinically, removing the sense of horror that so easily could be added in order to add credence and legitimacy. It is an effective ploy.

For the adults in the novel, Mr. Kultgen explores similar topics as Meg Wolitzer did in her most recent novel, The Uncoupling. Sex in adult relationships means something completely different than it does in teenage relationships, and both novels portray the more nuanced power behind sex among couples. Whereas Ms. Wolitzer explored the feminine aspect of this dynamic, Mr. Kultgen focuses on the male perspective.

While sex is the uniting theme among the cast of characters, it is by no means the main point of Men, Women & Children. Rather, it is an emotionless exploration of humanity - a girl fighting an eating disorder, a young man struggling with depression, a mother trying to protect her daughter, and another mother trying to ensure her daughter achieves her dreams, the power struggle between child and parent as the child gets older, the power struggles among teens. These are the all-too-common issues faced by much of today's society and deserve to be studied and highlighted. For those who are willing and able to overlook the purposefully explicit scenes, designed to draw ire and shock, the result is an eye-opening study of the pressures our teens face at younger and younger ages and how parents' own self-absorption fuels their responses.

Thank you to Erica Barmash from Harper Perennial for my advanced reading copy. She warned me it would be a challenging but rewarding read, and she was right!
(less)

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Jul 29, 2011 Yair Bezalel rated it 4 of 5 stars

Kultgen's third and best novel in my opinion. Though a few stumbles abound with instances of weak dialogue and too detailed scenes of football games, Kultgen has shown his growth as a writer and at the same time maintained his characteristic tone. He lays bare the characters he presents with little judgement and bias to one side or the other simply, instead, telling it as he sees it. The novel can be dismissed as nihilistic but that would be doing a disservice to the work. Kultgen approaches his...more

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Jul 06, 2011 Tony rated it 5 of 5 stars

I enjoy everything this author has written and this book is no different. I couldn't express in writing how excited I was to see this on the New Releases table at Barnes and Noble. I jumped into it right away and am about 3/4 of the way through. Kultgen is witty and writes the things I only think about but might refrain from saying out loud.He's definitely making his way into my favorite author list hands down. Comparable to The Lie and Average American Male in context and hilarity. This book br...more

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Jul 20, 2011 Steven Gaskin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Following the last junior high football season of a team of thirteen-year-old boys, their friends, their girlfriends and parents, this is superficially another tale of small-town sex, families, and coming-of age scenarios. Narratively, there's not much more to it than that. But if you've read either of Chad Kultgen's other two books (The Average American Male and The Lie), you'll know that he doesn't tend to break the rules of composition as much as take a dump on them. So, here is a novel in wh...more Following the last junior high football season of a team of thirteen-year-old boys, their friends, their girlfriends and parents, this is superficially another tale of small-town sex, families, and coming-of age scenarios. Narratively, there's not much more to it than that. But if you've read either of Chad Kultgen's other two books (The Average American Male and The Lie), you'll know that he doesn't tend to break the rules of composition as much as take a dump on them. So, here is a novel in which the narrator is omniscient, jumping in and out of his characters' psyches on a whim, and switching perspective not just in the same scene, but in the same paragraph. Any teacher of creative writing would hold this up as an example of what NOT to do. However, once you get past the jarring intrusions and changes, you realise that this clumsiness is simply a device, and rather than a trite rehashing of a tired formula, what Kultgen has done is produce a fictional work with the tone and awareness of a documentary, mining these superficial lives for meaning in their actions.
If you've read Kultgen's work, you know there's going to be sex. A lot of sex. And this is no different, as the kids' parents explore and rehabilitate their ageing libidos, but the kids are also into each other with alarming frequency, and it in these situations that the book's strengths emerge. Rather than denounce underage sex, or take tasteless interest in the act, Kultgen examines why the kids are doing it. He looks at the emotional pressures these kids are under to be seen to be ahead of the development curve, or at least keeping up with it. He also studies the range of teenage sexual identity; instead of sticking to the obvious horny boys and reluctant girls, he examines couples who openly admit they're not ready, but feel obliged for the sake of appearances; the young boy with the sexual tastes of a middle-aged fetishist; the couple who are happy just to hold each other's hand, but are suspected of so much more by a controlling parent. In exploring the full range of teenage desires, he delivers a cast of complex characters with depth and believable needs.
On the down side, although the ending was poignant and captured the book's message perfectly, I hated it. I'll say no more on that. Also, if you're not into (American) football, the detail on the games might be tedious, and if you are into it, the plays may feel clichéd. I'm on the fence as far as the game goes, so was okay with those scenes.

Kindle Format: Very nicely formatted, but yet another example of the growing occurrence of word-transposition and homophone errors in professionally published books.(less)

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Dec 04, 2012 Cathy rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'd like to start by saying this book is nothing at all like anything I have ever read. It came suggested to me through an obscure recommendation. Now, having said that, "Men, Women and Children" is a perverse account of human sexuality based on the very open and honest struggles of a group of interconnected adults and their children. It is quite raunchy and twisted, dealing with everything from first-times to infidelity to fetishes. This novel was very real and personal, and I surpised myself b...more

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Aug 14, 2011 Michael Seidlinger rated it 3 of 5 stars

Kultgen's novels have never been anything but quick flavor-of-the-moment reads that essentially mimic other, more relevant and distinguished authors like Bret Easton Ellis and Douglas Coupland in terms of social commentary and social satire.

This one doesn't lose the stigma of being a me-too title like his previous two but it manages, ever so slightly, to venture into fresher territory while also being essentially pornographic prose.

Yeah, it deals with sexual discovery, repression, experimentati...more

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Jun 02, 2011 Michael rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: cannonball-read-iii

Kultgen's work is consistently good. Cannot wait for this book.

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Nov 28, 2012 Amy rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction-literature

Well, that certainly was a Chad Kultgen book.

However I am shocked that so few of the reviewers got the actual point of this book. Yes I suppose that it is quite the commentary on the coming-of-age for preteens in the age of internet and instant access to sexual content, as well as the lives of parents trying to learn and police a force with which they have no practical experience or understanding. Or whatever.

But what this book actually achieves is normalizing child pornography to the point whe...more

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Nov 10, 2011 Brittany rated it 5 of 5 stars

I actually really liked this book a lot--it reminded me of Little Children in its focus on suburban families who are all in some way unhappy while living their ordinary lives--but this book has much more to say about the sexual aspects of all parties involved, of all ages. Paranoid parents in the age of the Internet, parents cheating on their spouses, kids ruining relationships and having their relationships ruined for them. A really interesting read that I got into. I'd like to read his other w...more

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Jun 14, 2012 Jen rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book should have been titled Sex, teens, and football.

That's pretty much what the book was about. Even though I didn't find this novel to be amazing, I couldn't put it down because I just loved being in the minds of horny boys.

Anyway, it just seemed so truthful that it was believable. The characters were pretty shallow. I got the dads confused with one another. Was Kent's Tim's dad or Danny's dad? Which one was it again who was cheating on his wife? Sometimes the teen boys got me mixed up t...more

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Sep 29, 2011 Trung rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you took the plot of "American Beauty" and gave it to Bret Easton Ellis to write, you may have a small idea of what to expect with "Men, Women, & Children", Chad Kultgen's latest offering of literature. Before this, I had only read "The Average American Male", a book I picked up on a whim, possibly due to the use of Helvetica as the cover font and most likely for the reason of the very first chapter and sentence.

As I was reading through this book, there were a lot of different degrees of...more

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Apr 04, 2012 Mitchel Broussard rated it 4 of 5 stars

Not as good as The Lie, but still a great read. It focuses on four or five families in suburban america, and the crazy shit they do in secret from one another. One girl has a secret goth-fetish Myspace account, one dad is hiring hookers online and cheating on his wife (while she's doing the exact same thing), and another kid faces serial depression as he escapes into World of Warcraft.

The characters are great, even though some kinda bleed into one another, but the dialogue never flows generally...more

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Jun 21, 2011 Teree rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: novels

I keep going back and forth between 4 and 5 stars. I wish they had halves! I couldn't put it down. I read it as quickly as I possibly could. It disturbed me, and spoke the truth. Uncannily, it was appropriate to what was going on in my life just before I received it.

I have a 14 year old daughter, who attended 8th grade last year. All the issues that plague the mind of an 8th grade girl are present in this book: Eating disorders, low self-esteem, peer pressure, acceptance, predators, social medi...more

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Feb 22, 2013 Brandon Nagel rated it 4 of 5 stars

Not sure how to review this. Parts of this remind me of growing up, and others really scared me now that I have a small boy of my own. Reminds me of that Docu/drama KIDS from the early 90s. Deals with human sexuality and growing up. Highly readable and at times borderline pornographic. Extremely well written and I ejoyed the hell out of it....but would have a hard time recommending it to ANYONE. You will understand why once you read a couple pages. Already ordered AVERAGE WHITE MALE by the same...more

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May 07, 2012 Elvira rated it 4 of 5 stars

A good and daring book.

Good study about human interactions and how people behave - as it's fiction he does go to the extreme but it's truthful. I found it good about the consequences of failing to talk/communicate with each other.

Some of the study is quite predictable but his narrative is about how and way rather than what happens.

So very interesting book about the way we all communicate and how the internet can affect us.

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Nov 16, 2011 Steve rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read "The Lie" by Chad Kultgen. It sort of twisted. This one is also sort of twisted. Focused on eighth graders experimenting relationshipwise and sexually, and on parents going through their own sexual struggles and experiments; I couldn't help but wonder how many communities these tales would be common in. I also wondered if any of this was taking place when I was in eighth grade and I somehow just didn't realize it.

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May 30, 2011 Yvette Hamacek rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book definitely caught my attention. I felt like every character in this book was someone that I had known at one point or another and I was excited to see how things would develop...but then it just fizzled out. It seemed like he got to a certain point and decided it was time to end the book and so he did. Kind of like an M. Night Shymalan movie. Hence, I can only give it 3 stars. It was definitely on it's way to a solid 4.

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Apr 21, 2013 Angela rated it 3 of 5 stars

This book is nothing like any books I have read before. It gives perspective on what really could be going on behind closed doors. The author reveals apsects of suburbia that are otherwise deemed taboo. It was different, and at some points vulgar and deeply disturbing. If detailed descriptions of unorthodox sexual encounters disturbs you, this may not be the book for you.

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About Chad Kultgen

After two months in his birthplace Spokane, WA Chad Kultgen spent the majority of his life in a suburb of Dallas, TX called Lewisville. After high school, he turned down a full ride baseball scholarship to Trinity University in San Antonio, TX to pursue writing. He moved to Los Angeles, CA where he joined the likes of George Lucas, Robert Zemekis, and Ron Howard as a graduate of the prestigious Sc...more

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Quotes from Men, Women, and Children

“One night, Tim stumbled across a documentary called Manufacturing Consent. After viewing it, he found some writing online by its subject, Noam Chomsky, and as a result began to feel that there wasn't really a point to anything, that free will was an illusion, and that the things most people invested time and energy in were systems of control designed by those who sought to manipulate the general populace” — 1 person liked it

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