See A Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody

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See A Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody

3.68 of 5 stars 3.68 · rating details · 668 ratings · 127 reviews

The long-awaited, full-force autobiography of American punk music hero, Bob Mould

Bob Mould stormed into America's punk rock scene in 1979, when clubs across the country were filling with kids dressed in black leather and torn denim, packing in to see bands like the Ramones, Black Flag, and the Dead Kennedys. Hardcore punk was a riot of jackhammer rhythms, blistering tempos...more

Hardcover, First Edition, 403 pages

Published June 15th 2011 by Little, Brown and Company (first published 2011)

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Aug 18, 2011 RandomAnthony rated it 4 of 5 stars

Bob Mould's See A Little Light is a substantial, revelatory memoir. I can say, without hyperbole, I hope, that the author is one of my most enduring music heroes. At sixteen I stumbled upon Flip Your Wig and I've followed his career ever since. Mr. Mould might be the only artist I've seen in concert so many times I've lost track of the total. His Workbook tour performance at Chicago's Metro ranks as one of the best concerts I've ever seen.

Bob Mould was important to me, I think, because he appea...more

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Aug 22, 2011 Brendan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Bought at deep discount whilst picking over Borders' corpse...
I tore through this in a couple of days. Fundamentally, this is the story of how a deeply screwed up young man grows to become a functional and happy middle-aged man. As such, the focus throughout is not so much on the music itself, but on Bob's personal growth. There is some stuff about the music, especially the recording and playing of the music, but Bob pretty much draws a veil over his creative process. I probably would have liked...more

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Feb 09, 2013 Chazzbot rated it 3 of 5 stars

Bob Mould has had anything but a stereotypical life, which makes his memoir refreshingly free of the usual rock cliches. Sure, there is substance abuse, lots of sex, and a falling out with the band(s), but Mould has more to offer than a 400-page VH1 Behind the Music transcript.

Mould is a sharer--at times, too much of one, in fact--but this is, again, a surprising quality in the rock memoir writer. Mould is up front about his bad choices, but rarely apologizes for them, reasoning that these choic...more Bob Mould has had anything but a stereotypical life, which makes his memoir refreshingly free of the usual rock cliches. Sure, there is substance abuse, lots of sex, and a falling out with the band(s), but Mould has more to offer than a 400-page VH1 Behind the Music transcript.

Mould is a sharer--at times, too much of one, in fact--but this is, again, a surprising quality in the rock memoir writer. Mould is up front about his bad choices, but rarely apologizes for them, reasoning that these choices were, in some ways, necessary steps on a larger path. This memoir is infused with that attitude--the perspective of a 50-year old man who is appreciative of his experiences and hungry for more. Mould stays "curious and active," which he admits is due in large part to his freedom from burdens other men his age carry. But this quality rewards the reader, because this is not only a story of Mould's life as a musician.

The final third of the book is where Mould recounts other aspects of his life: coming out as a gay man, writing scripts for professional wrestling, experimenting with electronica and DJing, ending a 14-year relationship. If you are primarily interested in Mould as the songwriting force behind Husker Du and Sugar, you will get much more than you expected here. (I certainly did.)

One frustration I had with the book is Mould's tendency to mention certain incidents without much detail. One gets the sense that there are more stories to be told, but Mould has curiously decided to leave them out. The book's index becomes useful for finding references to people who have gone unmentioned for many pages that Mould will then reintroduce as major players in his life.

But Mould's voice here is consistently interesting. Like his many albums, I did not always find every insight vital or necessary, but they were never boring. Mould takes on a more reflective tone in the final chapters that suits the book well. The reader is thankful that Mould is still out there, gathering more stories, creating more work. I've found a renewed interest in his solo albums, and if a memoir compels one to both revisit old favorites and explore new work, Mould can consider his memoir a success.(less)

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Sep 17, 2012 Jason Lewis rated it 2 of 5 stars

I should know better, I really should. In fact I do know better. Any time you dig too deeply into the life of one of your heroes you are bound for disappointment-burg. No one can really live up to the pedestal you put them on over 20 -plus years of fandom. And also the nature of writing about music and music personalities is one that begs for distortion and and bloviation. And Bob Mould's autobiography does not, unfortunately, escape these pitfalls.

I blew through the first half of the book, stay...more I should know better, I really should. In fact I do know better. Any time you dig too deeply into the life of one of your heroes you are bound for disappointment-burg. No one can really live up to the pedestal you put them on over 20 -plus years of fandom. And also the nature of writing about music and music personalities is one that begs for distortion and and bloviation. And Bob Mould's autobiography does not, unfortunately, escape these pitfalls.

I blew through the first half of the book, staying up late, reveling in learning about phases of Mould's career that I've long wanted to know all about. And the book promised to deal with aspects of that career (the breakup of Husker Du specifically) in never-before-told fashion. And maybe that's the case, but every time the book reached one of these moments the prose itself seemed to become vaseline smeared and the events as related didn't seem to add up. But at that point, I didn't really care. I'm an astute reader, I can read between the lines, fill in the blanks. I was pretty comfortable with the idea that this bio was going to paint Mould in the best possible light and for the most part he was unwavering in his cold, hard eye for the past and its inhabitants. I admired the character being developed in that first half of the book.

It wasn't until about 2/3 the way through that I started to waver in my enthusiasm. What I started to see was a man who was completely insecure, and had no idea how to have any kind of give and take relationship with another person, not his band mates, not his partners, not his business associates, not his family. And to Mould's credit, he recognizes this and the exploration of these character flaws is central to the movement of the book. The only problem is, as the book rounds the corner to the home stretch he's a man who continues to make the same mistakes over and over again, continues to roadkill the people in his life and continues to be clueless as to his own culpability in the carnage he leaves behind.

But what really set me off my feed in this narrative was the tone Mould took on about his work in the Sugar and post-Sugar years. Sugar was a very successful band, a success I do not begrudge Mould or the band, but in his description of this time Mould seems to become spiteful about his career prior to Sugar and there seems to be an agenda in the writing. And after Sugar he has money and it seems to make it even easier for him to obfuscate the problems he has in dealing with the people around him.

So ultimately, I had to stop reading. All of this unhealthy, blind emotional death dealing was just too depressing for me. I still very much admire Mould and very much appreciate his music. I didn't expect him to be perfect and I applaud him for making an effort toward an honest, uncompromising biography. In the end (or about 20% of the way to the end) I just lost interest in seeing him make the same mistakes over and over. You want your heroes to be perfect, or at least show you the way toward something your want in your life. When I realized I wasn't going to find anything like that here, I cut my losses.(less)

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Jun 28, 2012 Tommy Carlson rated it 3 of 5 stars

Bob's autobiography reminds me a little of the Clash's Rude Boy. Decades ago, when I saw Rude Boy, it struck me how the movie made them look like assholes. And I always wondered whether this was a mark of integrity on their part, or whether they were just clueless about themselves. I feel the same way reading about Bob. (Upon checking the Wikipedia page for it, it appears the band didn't much like the movie.)

Bob is apparently the kind of guy who insists on doing everything himself, because he's...more Bob's autobiography reminds me a little of the Clash's Rude Boy. Decades ago, when I saw Rude Boy, it struck me how the movie made them look like assholes. And I always wondered whether this was a mark of integrity on their part, or whether they were just clueless about themselves. I feel the same way reading about Bob. (Upon checking the Wikipedia page for it, it appears the band didn't much like the movie.)

Bob is apparently the kind of guy who insists on doing everything himself, because he's the only one he thinks will do it correctly, and then whines about no one giving him enough credit for doing everything himself.

That said, it's still an interesting read. If you're looking for trash talk about Grant and Greg, yeah, you'll get that here. If you're looking for trash talk about other punk bands, you won't find it. Bob is unfailingly polite in his praise of other bands. (Except Bad Brains, who deserve the derision, being the homophobes that they are.)

If you're looking for tons of info on the rivalry between Husker Du and the Replacements, you won't get much. Basically, Husker Du built a midwest DIY punk community from the ground up. All the Replacements ever did was make great records. And that rankles Bob. There's also some complaining about Twin/Tone rejecting Husker Du's demos while giving the Mats a full album right away. Of course, there's a reason for that. The Replacements' demo tape was shit-tons better than Husker Du's.

Subject-wise, this book isn't just about Husker Du. The time spent on those years feels appropriate to me. He didn't gloss them over. Nor did he dwell on them. It's also obvious that he enjoyed the Sugar years a lot more. (And he says as much, too.)

Bob's writing style is exhausting to read. It all comes out in a rush. At first, I thought this might be on purpose, that the earlier sections of the book would be written to mirror early Husker Du. And the later sections would be written more maturely, to mirror his musical development. That would have been really cool.

But, that wasn't the case. It's just his writing style. I'm not saying it's bad writing. It's not. But it really lacks nuance.

There's one chapter dedicated to his experience writing pro wrestling scripts. I really wish he had intertwined his love of pro wrestling throughout the book, rather than cramming it all into one chapter. Instead of flowing into the book, it interrupts the narrative.

My favorite parts of the book are where Bob is embracing being gay. They're really the only sections where I liked the guy. He's neither pornographic nor coy about his sex life. I'm truly happy for him that he's accepted himself to the point that he can write about it so frankly. Interestingly, he seems much more self-conscious about returning to the Catholic church.(less)

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Jun 23, 2012 SarahJayn rated it 5 of 5 stars

I just finished reading Bob Mould's autobiography See a Little Light. I started it a long time ago, but his alcoholic childhood and closeted adolescence really bummed me out, so I had to put it down.
I'm glad I picked it back up.
I was interested in reading the book because I love the band Hüsker Dü. I first heard Hüsker Dü three years after they stopped making music together. I was sitting on the floor at a local record store. I remember it really well because I was wearing a skirt and my eleve...more I just finished reading Bob Mould's autobiography See a Little Light. I started it a long time ago, but his alcoholic childhood and closeted adolescence really bummed me out, so I had to put it down.
I'm glad I picked it back up.
I was interested in reading the book because I love the band Hüsker Dü. I first heard Hüsker Dü three years after they stopped making music together. I was sitting on the floor at a local record store. I remember it really well because I was wearing a skirt and my eleven-year-old thighs were all sore from riding my bike to the store. That banana seat was a real challenge sometimes. Anyway, the floor was feeling awesome as I was rooting through milk crates stuffed full of "forgottens." Forgottens were records and cassettes that hadn't sold in a long time, and were put away under the tables as sort of a bargain bin. No one ever saw them - it was a marketing strategy gone way wrong. The store owner put a sign on the crates acknowledging his failure while still not correcting it. Personally, I think that it was always a strategy on his part to be able to hoard these records while still appearing to be making an attempt to sell them. Most people that came into the store were not as young as me - I was the only little kid that wasn't wandering around with an older sibling. I was most often alone when I went there, so there was no one to stop me from getting on the floor and spending hours digging through the forgottens. There was no organization to the forgottens, and - mostly - it was just an area where scummy teenagers would try to slip records they'd peeled off the price tags from to get for a cheaper price. It never worked, though, because the store owner knew every record in the place. Anyway, I picked up a copy of Candy Apple Grey and asked the store owner to play it for me. He was messing around with his dogs - he was always messing around with those dogs when no one was there. He shuffled over to me, muttered some sarcastic question about whether or not I had parents, and then took the record from my hand. I remember he looked at the album cover, asked me if I had ever heard the band before, and then gave me his hand to help me off the floor. I could always tell if he thought the music I was interested in was good or not because if it wasn't that great, he'd throw it on the store's tiny audio system. He'd let it spin for a little bit, let me publicly see the error of my ways, and then he'd dismiss it for something else. If it was good, though, he'd put it on the stereo system that had these giant headphones. I'd sit on this wooden stool he had that was all soft and worn from years of use. The cracks of the wood were filled with years of grime and dirt from other listeners' hands. I loved sitting on that stool. When I first started sitting on that stool, my legs would dangle. (When I visited the store right before it closed some years later, they were planted firmly on the fucking ground.) He put it on, smiled, and left me with the headphones on. I listened the the whole record. The only time I got up was when I went over to the counter to ask him to flip it for me. (After a terrible, record-scratching, needle-breaking incident, we came to an agreement that I was to be less of a do-er and more of an asker when it came to playing records.) I bought the record and played it all the time. The next time I was in the store, I asked the owner where I could see them play, and he told me to, "go buy a fucking Delorean." Those were the days before the Internet. How was I supposed to know? Anyway, that crusty bastard was kind of a soft-heart on the inside and in the coming months when I went to visit the store he may have picked up a copy of Zen Arcade and Flip Your Wig. You know, they just happened to come up when he was looking for stuff in the store, and, you know, I could listen to them if I wanted.
Anyway, that former me sitting on the stool with the giant headphones on was super-psyched to be getting just a little peek at the back story of a band that might have some coherent explanation. Next to listening to the music, it is as close as I'm ever going to get to being there, which is especially poignant in the screw-you-if-you-weren't-there culture of rock n' roll. (I bought this book at a record store a few years ago and could not get into it. The editing is so bad that whole sections of the book are repeated - word-for-word - in multiple chapters. I plan to try it again someday, but not today.) Want to know something weird, though? The Hüsker Dü section was the part that ended up holding my interest the least. I mean, it was pretty good to hear from the artist the meaning (or lack of meaning) behind the songs, and all that nonsense, but in the end it was the same ugly story that always kind of turns me off: great band, great potential, potential realized, personal problems, things fall apart, they argue about money. It's not that I am so overly romantic that I think that contracts and money are not part of releasing music. However, it's kind of like when you're friends with a married couple and their marriage falls apart. You don't want to hear the ugly details of who got what and why. You don't want to see the contents of the settlement. However, I'd be down-right hypocritical if I didn't accept that as part of Mr. Mould's story because I loved the candid nature of his story in all other instances. The way that he recounts his childhood without bitterness but brutal honesty is refreshing. He points out his parents' downfalls without painting them as monsterous. He lays bare inner conflicts that are both shocking and distubringly relatable. His post-Hüsker Dü life is captivating, too. He explores some aspects of gay culture that everyone seems aware of but no one seems to talk about without being all rainbow about it. I could relate to this. Some people think being queer is one of two things: nipple rings and feather boas or in the proverbial closet. Mould is neither (though he does spend some time being scandelous - like all (well, most) people do when fully taking the helm of their own sexuality). There is one theme throughout the book that seems to fall into the 'human nature' aspect of being irritating. He often will list one of his personal story-comings, say he's not making any excuses for himself, but then continue to list the reasons that lead him to make whatever bad choices he made. I think I only find this annoying because I do that same fucking thing, and I am disappointed with myself every time I do it. Also like me, Mould is a worker. Being a worker is largely a cultural thing. There are some people I've met who aren't workers and I am always fascinated by them. They can go for stretches without devoting large chunks of their time to a project or job. I can't do that - it is not in my blood. I've had a job as long as I can remember, and when I have my job I do it well. The thing I liked most about this book, though, is that Mould is sentimental without being mushy. I appreciate that. You get the feeling that he's not just bullshitting you through enough pages to fill a book, he's not explaining or bragging. He's telling a story that turns out to be a pretty good one. I highly reccommend it. (less)

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Jun 05, 2012 Twobusy rated it 4 of 5 stars

As someone who's been a fan of Bob Mould's music for more than 20 years - tracing his career from Hüsker Dü to his solo career to Sugar and then back again to solo life - I approached his memoir with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. Why? Because you never know whether someone's ability to write compelling stories in song form will translate to a longer-form narrative. Fortunately, it turns out that my anticipation was justified – because Mould delivers a consistently interesting and engagi...more

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May 15, 2012 John rated it 4 of 5 stars

Bob Mould is - or at least should be - a seminal rock icon. As 50% of the driving force behind Husker Du and Sugar, his sound is the driving force of punk rock-hardcore as it explodes raw in the 1980's, and beyond as melody begins to find it's way in. As such a lot of acts from the 1990's and pop-punk bands beyond owe Mr. Mould more than a bit of gratitude.

As explained in 'See A Little Light..', this edgy and energetic music turns out to be soundtrack not only for a legion of fans' various exper...more Bob Mould is - or at least should be - a seminal rock icon. As 50% of the driving force behind Husker Du and Sugar, his sound is the driving force of punk rock-hardcore as it explodes raw in the 1980's, and beyond as melody begins to find it's way in. As such a lot of acts from the 1990's and pop-punk bands beyond owe Mr. Mould more than a bit of gratitude.

As explained in 'See A Little Light..', this edgy and energetic music turns out to be soundtrack not only for a legion of fans' various experiences, but for Mould himself as he struggles with coming of age, his (then) closeted homosexuality, his demons of drink and speed, and some prominent personal baggage from his small town upbringing and troubled family situation. None of that is a big surprise, but his candor is. Even before reading this bio, I had an image from interviews, etc. of Mould being a bit of a control freak, so letting it all hang out like this must have been pretty difficult for him.

We're obviously only getting one side of the Husker story here (the rest will have to wait for the grant Hart documentary "Every Everything" to be released in 2013). Based even on his own characterization of himself, I'm pretty sure Mould was probably an asshole at times and difficult to deal with. Having said that, it's not all 'Band Angst' and 'Band Soap Opera'. Clearly the guys all contributed, had a great time, and made some terrific music. Much of the first half of the book covers Mould's maturation, his influences and early life, and the rise and fall of Husker Du. I'm glad Mould is willing to take his time with it and share the stories good and bad.

Likewise, his early solo career and Sugar are covered in pretty good detail. The fact that Bob is trying to figure out his new un-closeted life and dealing with ups and downs in his business and romantic life during this period is informative. As in earlier sections, Mould is willing to share some inspiration and name names in the stories behind his song.

Certain things he does career wise from here (involvement with WCW wrestling and his increasing forays into electronica and DJ-ing) were kind of head scratchers for me and plenty of his other fans at the time, I'm sure. Reading the last third-ish of the book better informs my understanding of why he did what he did. And speaking as someone who played punk rock in his youth and eventually wound up mostly playing keyboards and making electronic-laden music later in life, I appreciate his dilemma of wanting to grow and try new things as a musician.

'See A Little Light..' is certainly more reasoned and intelligent than most rock memoirs - even if Mould isn't above throwing a few sexploits in for spice. All in all, this is an enjoyable read and I recommend it to fans of the punk rock/80's/90's music scene.(less)

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Sep 02, 2011 Michael rated it 3 of 5 stars

Bob Mould is a brilliant artist, whose songs have been some of my favorites for twenty years. If you read this book hoping for insight into Mould's artistic process or his particular genius, you'll be disappointed.

Mould does discuss the circumstances around the creation of all of his albums, and does reveal the inspiration for many of his songs, but he doesn't try to figure out what separates the great songs from the forgettable ones. The events go by quickly in a "we played here, then recorded...more

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Aug 30, 2011 Jason Howell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: audiobook-finished

You gotta love an autobiography read by the author. It brings a certain level of authenticity. Now, I will admit, I'm not a huge fan of Mould's music. I've heard his name in the music press many times, but never really dug Sugar, and in my early punk days, Husker Du wasn't really my cup of tea either. But reading the promo blurb about the book had me excited to hear about the punk scene in the early 80's.

What I got was a fascinating journey from punk, to rock, to electronic music. One thing I d...more

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Jul 24, 2011 Mark Desrosiers rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs, music

There’s something to be said for remaining an ambiguous mystery. Any time you open your yawp to digress upon personal discovery and your "roots" you’re risking the hearts of countless fans and critics, who are liable to turn sour and recontextualize your entire body of song after you’ve apparently gone simple. So goes it with Bob Mould’s memoir, where a gay man, a major musical talent, finds himself stumbling down the same tedious paths of self-discovery that countless mere humans have traveled,...more There’s something to be said for remaining an ambiguous mystery. Any time you open your yawp to digress upon personal discovery and your "roots" you’re risking the hearts of countless fans and critics, who are liable to turn sour and recontextualize your entire body of song after you’ve apparently gone simple. So goes it with Bob Mould’s memoir, where a gay man, a major musical talent, finds himself stumbling down the same tedious paths of self-discovery that countless mere humans have traveled, with similar snooze-inducing results.

It goes without saying that the most riveting moments in this book focus on his Hüsker Dü years – though he's bizarrely dismissive of Greg Norton and very nasty to Grant Hart, who wrote damn near half of their classics. (Plus: what publisher would bother advancing money to Grant for his side of the story?) The memoir's highlight is it's darkest moment – the end of Hüsker Dü on January 26, 1988, around the kitchen table at Grant's parents' house in South St. Paul, with Grant's mom driving in the final nail: "I think if you just played on weekends and weren’t working so hard..." And yes, it was Bob that walked out on what he portrays as two desperate men hoping for more money. (Though I love the detail where, even after storming out in a huff, he has to drive back down to Red Wing to grab his stuff from Greg.)

From there, we're off to his various solo careers, his WCW scenario-writing job (which is surprisingly the dullest chapter by far – takes something special to bore us with pro-wrestling anecdotes), his coming-out struggles, the bear community, etc. At one point he's strongarmed by his therapist into believing that he was sexually abused as an infant, and after I regained use of my eyes (which had rolled into the back of my head), he goes on to theorize that this incident-he-doesn't-remember has much to do with everything... I mean, here he is, a fiftysomething man (!!), still blathering on about how his parents were fucked up, an abusive drunken father (though it's clear this same father bought him guitars, drove Hüsker Dü tour vans out to St. Paul for him, encouraged him to blast tunes in his room etc.). I just don't get it – it's like Bob’s been trapped by "therapy-talk" and even when his yesterdays outnumber his tomorrows he can't find a self that walks outside of all the catharsis. Throughout the book he tells us he's "journaling" – in parks, on the bus, you've seen this same shit from Henry Rollins – yet he doesn't give any indication that he reads books or has any intellectual influences whatsoever. In other words, he underscores the biggest danger of the "journaling" mindset: you end up becoming a solipsistic, autofellating mushbrain.

There is one element of unintentional hilarity to be found here though. His earliest sexual crush was his barber: "I can look back and say, 'Yeah the barber was sexy, his crotch used to touch my forearm while he was cutting my hair,' and I still remember the smell of the shop." Then flip forward to the grid of twelve school photos after page 116, all terrible haircuts. Even better is the twelfth photo in that grid, where he's pimped out (quite accurately!) as Gene Simmons for his high school KISS tribute band -- 'cause he totally took on the humorless bean-counting Gene Simmons role in Hüsker Dü (though Bob reversed Gene's straight-edge groupie-hunting, as he was a drunken trucker-speed monogamist).

Still, while reading this I constantly had to slap on side two of Zen Arcade, just to blow all his "personal growth" and psychobabble out of my skull, and to remind myself that he was once a mysterious and strange talent, a rupture in the serene veil of music. This is a disappointing memoir, and I daresay his current robust physical and mental state may have diminished any future musical efforts to fan-cult oblivion. (less)

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Jul 06, 2011 Simon rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've often thought how much fun it would have been to be just a few years older and to live through the early '80s alternative rock boom. Hearing bands like REM, The Replacements, The Smiths, and Husker Du the first time around would have provided enough musical inspiration to make up for a lot of the next thirty years. I came pretty late to Bob Mould, who for a long time was one of those people I listened to because I was supposed to rather than because I actually responded to his music. After...more I've often thought how much fun it would have been to be just a few years older and to live through the early '80s alternative rock boom. Hearing bands like REM, The Replacements, The Smiths, and Husker Du the first time around would have provided enough musical inspiration to make up for a lot of the next thirty years. I came pretty late to Bob Mould, who for a long time was one of those people I listened to because I was supposed to rather than because I actually responded to his music. After reading Mould's memoir See A Little Light I understand the mind behind the songs better but I also have a new appreciation for just how much artistic and personal work went into Mould getting where he is today. See A Little Light may be the greatest book ever written about the details involved in being a postpunk icon, from the routing of tours (Mould fondly recalls the we're-all-in-this-together feeling of Husker Du's SST Records years.) to economic factors involved in booking studio time. Husker Du's major label signing, which Mould feared would make the band a pariah, was part of a wave of small bands going big that seems to have put Mould on the road to financial security for life. There's a good deal of discussion of Mould's expenses and relocations over the years, but once he makes his name the man never sounds worried about money.

We only have Mould's take on the disintegration of Husker Du; in this version drummer and fellow songwriter Grant Hart and bassist Greg Norton (whom Mould regards as barely relevant) enjoyed the fruits of the band's success thanks to Mould's work. Mould's alcoholic father and silently suffering mother are presented as the reason for his need to control as an adult, while Mould's homosexuality is described (after the usual early soul-searching) as something that everyone knew about yet no one discussed. I can't believe that Mould's gayness was quite as easily adjusted to as all that; all of the drinking and drugs Mould describes in his early touring years had to be motivated by something. The rest of the story is years of mostly worthwhile solo work, a brush fame in the Sugar years, an infamous outing in Spin, and a few breakups. (Mould favors long-term relationships over casual dating.) The warmest section of the book comes near the end, as Mould describes "integrating" his professional and personal lives into a happy downtown New York existence, followed shortly by his discovery of the escape valve of electronic music and DJing. The journey may be more interesting than the destination, but it's a relief to find Mould come through three decades of the music business and contemplating life post-50 with an open heart. Time to listen to Zen Arcade again.

(also posted at Mostly Movies) (less)

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Oct 21, 2011 Chuck O'Connor rated it 2 of 5 stars

The strength of this book is that it reads as one is sitting on a bar stool next to Bob Mould as he holds forth on his life's fortunes and follies, but this conversational tone also provides the book's weakness. When the direct address works, there is a subtle hint to how Mould's environment shaped his psychology, with insightful commentary on his character, but too often, the observations seem solipsistic. There is little insight into the character of those Mould interacted with in these enviro...more

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Feb 10, 2012 Jesse rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2012

A strange reading experience, largely because I'm really only a Husker Du fan and didn't know much about Mould's existence beyond that band. As a result, I was rapt through the chapters about HD, but kind of snoozed through the solo-project and Sugar material. Much more interesting to me was the autobiographical searching and the story of Mould's self-discovery not so much as a gay dude but as a non-self-hating gay dude who wanted to be part of a greater gay community after spending most of his...more

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Jun 24, 2011 Amanda rated it 5 of 5 stars

I knew nothing about Bob Mould other than that he was in Husker Du (who I listened to a bit, but was really before my time), he was in Sugar (who I listened to quite a bit in high school), that he's a fabulously talented solo artist whose shows I've loved attending here in DC, he's gay, loves electronica/dance music, and worked for the WCW. That little bit of knowledge alone made me pretty excited for this book to come out, because I know he must have some good stories to tell. Eclectic, no? At...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Mark Taggart rated it 3 of 5 stars

Like many rock bios, if you're a fan (I am), you'll be interested; if you're not, the details of Mould's life and times will seem a bit tedious. He's honest enough, presenting the many good and bad decisions he made regarding both Hüsker Dü and Sugar, which explain a good deal about the the creative and business arcs for both of those burn-out-not-fade-away bands. Most of the blowups, backstabbing and throwing-under-the-bus episodes (and there are quite a few) stem directly from his anger (the "...more

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Feb 12, 2012 Elizabeth Desole rated it 3 of 5 stars

Here's my recommendation. Only read the first third of this book. And I don't only say that because it's the Husker Du part. Really. The first third was 5 stars. I love Husker Du and am up and down about his solo stuff. However, that was not the issue with the book. The first part is funny and the rest is just, not. He seems to have given up drinking (though I must say he has a very flexible definition of sober that doesn't seem to include drugs) and lost his sense of humor. Now I can understand...more

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Jun 26, 2011 Brian rated it 4 of 5 stars

As far as rock bios go, this is probably one of the better ones. Bob Mould is a fascinating icon from the days of 80s hardcore-punk. Having fronted the band Husker Du, Bob Mould goes into the dirty details with SST Records, his former bandmates, and his many musical transformations. He opens up about his childhood that came with physical and psychological abuse from his father, his struggles with accepting his homosexuality, and his 15 year relationship with his ex, Kevin. There are of course th...more

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Oct 31, 2011 Mad Dog rated it 2 of 5 stars

I'm a big fan of Husker Du, I enjoyed reading Bob's recounting and thoughts of the Husker Du years (and pre-Husker Du years). I (along with many others) felt like Bob really found a special venting of frustration through rock and roll. Back in the 80s, I screamed along with Bob. He was a voice for me.

I felt the exhilaration that Bob conveyed when he started living life as who he his without hiding his true nature. That was the peak of this book for me. It culminated his 'trail' from darkness to...more I'm a big fan of Husker Du, I enjoyed reading Bob's recounting and thoughts of the Husker Du years (and pre-Husker Du years). I (along with many others) felt like Bob really found a special venting of frustration through rock and roll. Back in the 80s, I screamed along with Bob. He was a voice for me.

I felt the exhilaration that Bob conveyed when he started living life as who he his without hiding his true nature. That was the peak of this book for me. It culminated his 'trail' from darkness to light, from shackles to freedom. I was rooting for Bob from the beginning of this book. I felt him as an underdog and as a thoughtful agent for change - a believer in community and authenticity of feeling in rock and roll and personal expression. I am impressed with how he reached out to others (in the music community) while he was still confused and frustrated within himself. I am impressed by how productive and hard working he was. Bob's a pretty 'kick-ass' person. He could write classic music while efficiently managing the Husker Du business. That is special.

But my engagement in the book started waning after Bob started living the 'gay lifestyle'. I quickly went from the peak to the valley. Bob's musical career stopped for a while in this time. The tales of partying and the hedonistic lifestyle started powering me down. I am disappointed. It seemed like the "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow" for Bob is essentially a hedonistic lifestyle. Bob was overdue for living the 'happy life', but it didn't make for good reading for me. As Bob got happier, I got more bored. I had a similar experience with his music. I find his 'late period' music to be generic and flat, without the energy or hooks of his earlier music. I became more interested in the questions that the book sparked within me: "Is sadness/conflict generally more interesting than happiness/peace?", "What makes a person's life story interesting?", "Are all lives interesting?", "Most all of us engage in some hedonistic activities, but at what point (and at what activities) is it too much?", etc.

I found the book to be simply organized (mostly chronological with some thoughtful retreading to fill in holes of stories) and easy to read. Most of the musical bases are covered. Every album and tour is discussed (and at least summarized). But not a lot is said about individual songs. For example, I would have liked at least a little bit of his thinking behind the 'Jesus' songs on the Beaster album The forming and breakup of Husker Du (and Sugar) is given much attention. Interesting 'war stories' abound, many involving other notable music figures (Pete Townshend, Jello Biafra, Nirvana, etc.). But I did think he sometimes revealed things (that he was privy too) that he shouldn't. For example, Bob didn't need to make Michael Stipe of R.E.M. out to be a kook. Bob's childhood is highlighted and summarized. His personal life is more closely highlighted (with much detail in some areas) from the point of Bob's attending of college. I would have liked 'more Husker', 'less 2000s'. But Bob is fond of pointing out that Husker Du was more meaningful to others than himself.

But I am disappointed with Bob's villainizing of Husker Du co-leader Grant Hart. I understand that Bob's honest experience with Grant is that Grant was a 'villain', but I hoped that time would give Bob a wider view of things. I was not there and don't want to excuse any of Grant's 'sins', but I don't trust Bob when he essentially blames Grant for the problems between himself and Grant. Sure, Bob takes some blame for not being a good communicator, but he still lays the 'moral' blame with Grant. My experience in life is that relationship problems are rarely as one-sided as portrayed by Bob. Adding to this bitterness (and perhaps an expression of this bitterness), is the lack of credit given to Grant for the success of Husker Du. Bob tries to be reasonable and does give Grant some credit, but, attempts at reasonableness aside, I think Bob had a much too 'Bob-centered' view of Husker Du. Grant's music (fast-paced and emotional) was compatible with Bob's. It would be tough to listen to Bob's Husker Du songs for very long without the 'levity' (if you will) that Grant's songs provided. And Grant's songs were 'catchy' like Bob's songs. There was magic in Bob and Grant together, and I think it was much greater than sum of the parts.

And for a guy that writes as much as Bob, I was looking for more details when it came to what influenced his writing. And what were the influences behind is ideals of community and authenticity of feeling. Bob never shared a thing about what he read, or even if he read at all. For me, this lack of citing non-musical influences left a big gnawing gap in this book.

Another related 'gap': In his own words, Bob was shooting for something BIG with the writing and music of the album Zen Arcade. I didn't get the sense that he is still searching for this BIG anymore (which may be a good thing for him). But I was looking for some follow up to the search for the BIG. I felt like I was left hanging. It just seems that Bob's music started getting exclusively 'caught up' in the details of his personal life.

I would tell any Husker Du or Bob Mould fan to read this book. And I think many gays and lesbians might find this book (or at least parts of it) to be interesting. But I wouldn't recommend this book to the general reader.
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Sep 09, 2011 Caris rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Caris by: RandomAnthony

Shelves: 2011

There are few bands that can claim to have held a pivotal role in the punk rock movement. The Ramones, the Sex Pistols, and the Dead Kennedys (I could go on, though, admittedly not much farther) really put their mark on the sound. You’d be hard pressed to find a contemporary, guitar-driven alt-rock band that didn’t owe something to the legacy they built. I’d always considered myself to be something of a punk rock historian. Unlike most of my peers, I spent a lot of time reading during those form...more There are few bands that can claim to have held a pivotal role in the punk rock movement. The Ramones, the Sex Pistols, and the Dead Kennedys (I could go on, though, admittedly not much farther) really put their mark on the sound. You’d be hard pressed to find a contemporary, guitar-driven alt-rock band that didn’t owe something to the legacy they built. I’d always considered myself to be something of a punk rock historian. Unlike most of my peers, I spent a lot of time reading during those formative teenage years- a time when the punk rock cronies decided to hang up their Doc Martens and pen memoirs instead of kicking kids’ faces in and railing against the government.

For some reason unknown to me, Husker Du slipped through the cracks of my education. Sure, I’d listened to tons of bands that cited Bob Mould and company as inspirations, but I had no experience with the direct source. Which is really a shame- sixteen-year-old me would have dug those motherfuckers.

I cut my teeth on Boston hardcore. At the time Husker Du would have really appealed to me, they were too far inland. I didn’t deviate from my geographic inclinations; Boston was where it was at. I get really annoyed that I stuck to that path. I spent a lot of time listening to bands that, quite frankly, weren’t very good. Looking back, I’d have gladly traded SSD for Husker Du.

To gain some perspective on what I was reading, I put Husker Du in heavy rotation. At this point, I’ve listened to everything they put out (the Bob Mould solo stuff not included) multiple times. To be honest, I’ve been underwhelmed. To hear Mould talk about it, you’d think the Husker Du catalog is something akin to a multiple course gourmet meal. In reality, it suffers from the same naiveté that all punk bands seem to suffer from in their early years. The lyrics are pretty simple and don’t mean all that much to me, and the music is, well, noisy. I feel old saying that, but this isn’t the kind of stuff I can listen to with fresh ears. I’ve heard this sound repeated so many times that it no longer matters that these guys were the innovators. They’re just copying the shit I’ve already heard in retrograde.

That, of course, is not their fault. If I’d heard this when I was a teenager, I’d have been in love. It’s more melodic than the other stuff that was around at that time, sounding like some cross between Minor Threat and early Descendants. The problem this presents, in my opinion, is that it shows how Mould looks at the past. He doesn’t come across as the most perceptive (or honest) guy around.

Mould’s biggest offense is chronic name-dropping. It would be difficult to find a page in this book where some celebrity/musician isn’t named. According to Mould, he met everybody and each of them thanked him for being the most awesome guy on the planet. In many ways, he didn’t just exploit their names, he took credit (at least in part) for their success. Some of these made sense (like Nirvana and My Bloody Valentine) while others made a hell of a lot less (like Elvis and velociraptors). It is very clear that his is a Bob-centric universe. I found this frustrating, because he writes like so many of the elitist punk rock assholes I used to run into. I’m just not into that.

I wanted to hear more about his life and less about who was a douchebag, who ran this label, who had a sexually-charged conversation with him. You might argue that this is a memoir and that’s what memoirs are like, but I’d challenge you to read a single chapter. You’ll get it.

Luckily, though, this book had plenty of strong points. Mould is very candid about his childhood and abusive parents. He proves to be a very complex in that regard; though he never forgives them for what they did and he has no real interest in them, he still feels responsible for them in some ways. One really notable gesture of selflessness is committed when he doesn’t like the idea of his parents living in a sketchy neighborhood, so he buys them a house. I’ve been in a situation very similar to Mould’s, and I can’t help but be impressed by the way he handles his family. He treats the whole thing as the complicated beast it is, never shrinking away from it.

I really wish this book had been his story of coming of age as a gay man in the punk scene. I enjoyed reading about his relationships and path of self-discovery. As he aged, he got to be very insightful where his life choices were concerned. And oh my fuck this is turning into a goddamned book report.

Summary: I just bitched a lot and wrote a rather shitty review, but, honestly, I don’t want to go back and rewrite it. This memoir had its short-comings and it had some great points. I’m glad I read it and I’m glad I got to know Husker Du and Bob Mould. I do wish it had been shorter and less name-droppy.

I’m sorry you had to read this.
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Sep 14, 2011 Marc Horton rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs-real-or-imagined, rock-and-roll

First making his name as the guitarist/songwriter in seminal 1980's Midwestern punk legends Husker Du, Bob Mould found continued success with the short-lived but popular band Sugar during the 1990's alternative rock boom and a solo artist in the intervening and subsequent years. Sure, the bookshelves are lousy with memoirs by survivors and stars of the punk era, but several things make Mould's tale worth the telling: Husker's influential body of work and indefatigable work ethic, their improbabl...more

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Jul 10, 2011 Scott rated it 4 of 5 stars

As a fan of Mould's work, I can't really address whether a non-fan would enjoy this comprehensive biography of his life. I came into the book with a solid background of Mould's career; the dramatic questions were already framed for me. Why did Husker Du really break up? What was the story with his brief career in professional wrestling? How did his outing as a homosexual change his course as an artist? All of those topics are covered, and dozens more that I couldn't have guessed.

What the book la...more

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Sep 11, 2011 Myles rated it 3 of 5 stars

Recommended to Myles by: RandomAnthony

Shelves: memoirs-or-diaries, non-fiction, lgbt

I usually avoid celebrity autobiography/memoirs, especially modern ones, because they fall very easily into self-satisfied gloating "look how far I've come, I showed them ALL" narratives. The fact of most celebrity lives are that their artistic output is the most interesting thing about them. But See a Little Light came at an opportune time, RA wrote an encouraging review just as my nearby Borders began closing out in the second-wave of Borders store-closings. I couldn't argue with 60% off so I...more I usually avoid celebrity autobiography/memoirs, especially modern ones, because they fall very easily into self-satisfied gloating "look how far I've come, I showed them ALL" narratives. The fact of most celebrity lives are that their artistic output is the most interesting thing about them. But See a Little Light came at an opportune time, RA wrote an encouraging review just as my nearby Borders began closing out in the second-wave of Borders store-closings. I couldn't argue with 60% off so I picked it up.

Pioneering hardcore/alternative rock group Hüsker Dü were one of the most influential post-punk groups. ever. But, I was introduced to Bob Mould through his later 90s rock band Sugar. I can't remember when exactly, but I picked up their main discography (Copper Blue, Beaster and File Under: Easy Listening) within a few days of each other at a thrift store and the (at the time new, now defunct) record store. The music was intense and tuneful and I recognized ties between Sugar and other bands of the 90s, I just didn't realize how far back those ties went. It was only a few years later when I got to college (and an internet connection) that I discovered the Bob Mould had an earlier band. His being a gay man in the late-70s, early 80s scene of Minneapolis-St. Paul intrigued me, too.

While reading this I relistened to Sugar, Hüsker Dü and the few solo Mould (and one Hart) albums that I have, which was a fun extra way of getting into the spirt of things. A bonus Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz moment came along when Beaster came on when the section detailing its release started.

Seeing as how this is his memoir, I expected a strong pro-Bob stance in this book but I was a little surprised at just how harsh he was towards Grant Hart here, but I gather that the feeling is mutual, and I was surprised to see how Greg Norton came off as such a complete nonentity (the man's mustache deserved a chapter, at least). Norton might as well have been a roadie for all the credit he gets.

For being as central a figure in music for such a long time I was a little underwhelmed by the anecdotes that went along with the name-dropping. Contemporaries such as Kristin Hersh, the Pixies and Sonic Youth and many, many others are essentially one-liners. Black Flag (particularly Rollins), The Replacements and Soul Asylum are more fleshed out but I was left wanting more. If you're going to mention them, at least have some kind of story.

But that's a small thing in the face of it. What really impressed me was the honesty and ordinariness that Mould let come through. He wasn't trying to make himself into some kind of "elder statesmen" or mythical rock god figure, he was just a guy with an ear, a head, and a heart for great music who worked hard for the success he achieved. His dorky fondness for DJing and dance music was endearing. What Mould goes through, his journeys of self-discovery, his personal failures and ultimate triumphs paralell those of most people, and that's not a bad thing.

If you're only in this for the music, the book will fade after two-thirds (or one-third if you're strictly in it for the Dü), Mould gets starry eyed and gushy about New York gay culture for a little too long and ultimately I wasn't interested in his prolonged boyfriend troubles (just walk away from it man). His brief stint as a writer/consultant for professional wrestling was cool though. Overall it provided a lot of insight into the life of one my favorite artists.(less)

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Dec 10, 2011 Greg Swallow rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'm marginally interested in Husker Du, the punk band on SST Records in the 1980's and I haven't listened to any of Bob Mould's work past that. I've always liked my punk rock a little more "hardcore." I thought this would be at least an interesting account of punk rock in its glory days, with road stories, what not. I picked the book up in the bookstore and read through Mr. Mould's account of making Zen Arcade, which hooked me.

This isn't a bad book, but unless you're a serious Bob Mould fan I'd...more

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Jul 07, 2011 Conor rated it 4 of 5 stars

A decently written book that finally lets the audience in on what was/is going on in the head of one of rock's influential and sometimes enigmatic singers/songwriters/guitarists.

I've had the opportunity to meet the author a few times over the years and he has always been very genuine and generous in person. When it comes to his musical past, however, he seems to have a love/hate relationship with the songs and people involved. In "See a Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody" Mr. Mould desc...more

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Oct 21, 2011 Patrick rated it 3 of 5 stars

Much as I love Husker Du and Bob's later work, this book is a letdown. Bob provides a little insight into where some of his songs are coming from, and a tiny bit about the recording process, but I don't feel like I learned anything (the chapter on Husker Du in Azerrad's book gives a better sense of the band and its music). The prose is bland, and none of the descriptions ever come to life. It's no surprise that Bob is uncharitable towards his collaborators in Husker Du, but while I understand th...more

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Oct 03, 2011 Joe rated it 4 of 5 stars

I got to speak to Terri Gross, the world's foremost interviewer, about this book. She told me that she didn't think it was worth a show because it seemed like a collection of things the author was discussing with a therapist.

That much is true. However, it's worth reading if your life was affected by the music of Hüsker Dü, as mine was. Also of note are how Mould, who says he is aware of his flaws, does not paint a flattering picture of himself as a young man. There seems to be a strong linkage b...more

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Jul 09, 2011 Vanessa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: non-fiction, sweet-tunes, want-to-read-again-someday

What I really enjoyed about this book was it was different than any other autobiography by a musician that I've ever read. And it was definitely the most honest autobiography I've ever read by anyone. Bob Mould put his whole life out there - the good and the bad. It was interesting to get insight on his time with one of my favourite bands (Hüsker Dü) but I also enjoyed learning about everything he did after the band too. What I really liked about this book is that it came across as being written...more

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Jun 17, 2011 Jodi rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011-read

Reading Bob Mould’s autobiography, See a Little Light: The Trail of Rage and Melody, is a little like indulging someone you adore as they tell you about a dream they had about you last night. You listen patiently as they meander through the purple unicorns and how Michael Cera was Bruce from accounting until they get to the good stuff about you.

Of course, you would not put up with such bullshit unless it was someone you really, really adored. Because seriously? Life is too short for such meander...more

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Jan 12, 2012 Kurt Adam rated it 3 of 5 stars

Having been in college when Bob Mould's star was at its highest, I was very interested to read this book when I found out about it. I was glad that he spent proportionate amounts of time on each phase of his career. Since I'm much more of a Sugar fan than Husker Du (even though I dig the latter as well), I was somewhat afraid that his first band would get all the attention. Happily, that was not the case. Bob was very up front and honest about pretty much all aspects of his life and career. He a...more

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About Bob Mould

Bob Mould is an American musician, singer / songwriter, producer, and DJ. An original member of the influential 1980s punk band Hüsker Dü, he released several albums after the band separated, including Workbook, Copper Blue, Body of Song, and Life and Times. He lives in San Francisco.

Michael Azerrad is the author of the books Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground...more

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“A song that straight people related to, now they find out it's about two guys? The flip side, or what I now know to be the upside, was that I had a large audience who might not have known about my homosexuality, were very attached to the work, and could now see that love and loss and hope are universal emotions that can't be owned, controlled, or denied by law or religion.” — 3 people liked it

“Growing up in a violent house makes you hypervigilant -- you do everything in your life to make sure the egg doesn't break. The vigilance, along with the depression and the demons I battle, it all mixes together and shows up in my work. I beat myself up when things get out of control. I was supposed to be watching over it. Even more disturbing is the realization that I alone can create an utterly hopeless catastrophe. The only way to control it is to create it. Write it and it shall be so -- the prescient thought.” — 2 people liked it

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