My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality

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My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality

by Rachel Hajar (Goodreads Author)

3.22 of 5 stars 3.22 · rating details · 23 ratings · 19 reviews

My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality is Dr. Rachel Hajar's memoir of her remarkable life in the heart of Arab-Islamic culture and society.Rachel never dreamed she would marry an Arab cardiologist or live in Qatar, a place she had never heard of before. When she left her homeland in the Philippines to pursue medical training in the United States, she fell in love with...more

Paperback, 300 pages

Published December 29th 2010 by Eloquent Books

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May 14, 2012 Dianna Kearney rated it 1 of 5 stars

This is a truly boring book. It was a gift and because I have lived in Doha for four years, I was very interested to read what Rachel Hajar had to say. I really had to force myself to finish it though. The author presents her memoir in a very confusing way and doesn't even touch on how she met and married her husband until the last few chapters. She spends way too much time trying to make herself look intelligent by using specific medical terminology and explaining heart procedures in a high bro...more This is a truly boring book. It was a gift and because I have lived in Doha for four years, I was very interested to read what Rachel Hajar had to say. I really had to force myself to finish it though. The author presents her memoir in a very confusing way and doesn't even touch on how she met and married her husband until the last few chapters. She spends way too much time trying to make herself look intelligent by using specific medical terminology and explaining heart procedures in a high brow fashion, and these medical diversions don't even shed any light on life in Doha.

Ms. Hajar thinks she is an expert in religion as well as medicine so she pontificates on how cultures, religions, and people are all connected in many ways and illustrates this with her "wide" experience. With these unimpressive side trips in her writing she only alienates the reader and creates doubt about her expertise. Her "research" about many religions and words she uses consists of consulting the dictionary, and some of her points about certain religions are just incorrect. She uses a lot of figurative language, as many Arabic and Filipino writers tend to do, but it is done in an amateur fashion and only serves to distract readers. There is little organization to the narrative which makes the writer's life come out in a series of often unrelated snippets.

I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. It only further perpetuates the negative stereotype of Qatari citizens being so far removed from the real world that they often present fiction as fact. At one point in the book. Ms. Hajar says that her husband planted a certain type of tree for her in her "paradise" garden. I found that hard to believe, given the fact that he is also a doctor, a Qatari, and not likely to be found with his hands in the dirt. In the next paragraph she talks about how their gardener did some other improvements on the garden. Maybe her husband asked the gardener to plant the tree, but I really doubt he did it himself. That is just a small example of how this book DOES NOT portray life in Doha and should more accurately be titled "My Life in Doha: Little Reality and Lots of Rhetoric". The most disappointing thing about this book is that it sidesteps so many intriguing issues that could be discussed more openly. She completely leaves out how her husband's parents felt when their son married a Christian woman who is a Filipina (considered a lower class of people by many Qataris). When is someone going to write a REAL book about the secret society of Qataris?(less)

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Apr 21, 2012 Christine rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book is a memoir of Dr. Rachel Hajar who is a cardiologist in Qatar. She was from the Philippines and brought up as a Catholic. She later moved to the US to further her medical training and while there met her future husband. They married, and after they completed their studies they moved to her husband's home country of Qatar.

I was particularly interested in reading the chapters about the veil, the call to prayer - adhan, and the souk. I have always wondered what women thought about wearin...more

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Apr 30, 2012 Rhoda rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

Firstly, as I won this book as part of First Reads, I would like to thank the author for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Overall I found this book quite interesting, as the author relayed her experiences in adapting to a life in Qatar, far away from her Catholic upbringing in the Phillipines. However it felt like it was lacking a lot of personal information and experiences and got a bit bogged down in going off on tangents and providing rather boring history lessons. Also the explan...more

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May 27, 2011 Shana rated it 2 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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May 25, 2011 Dan rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: no one

Shelves: first-reads

I could not finish this book.

This is the most irritating book I have ever read. The author's forte is obviously not writing. Where can I begin?

I went into this expecting an informative memoir that would tell me about one woman's experiences living in Doha, Qatar. Instead, I got a mishmash of memoir, awkward prose, boring history lessons, and a chapter about fish that nearly drove me mad. The author never misses a chance to insert random facts about things tangentially related to her narrative, o...more I could not finish this book.

This is the most irritating book I have ever read. The author's forte is obviously not writing. Where can I begin?

I went into this expecting an informative memoir that would tell me about one woman's experiences living in Doha, Qatar. Instead, I got a mishmash of memoir, awkward prose, boring history lessons, and a chapter about fish that nearly drove me mad. The author never misses a chance to insert random facts about things tangentially related to her narrative, or muse over historical figures with metaphors that never, ever work properly. Nor does she miss an opportunity to tell the reader, for the second or third time, something which was explained quite clearly a chapter, or even a sentence ago.

The narrative jumps all over time and space. Structurally, writing a linear story instead of grouping each chapter by theme would have been an improvement, but it still would not have had an overall effect on writing that tends toward breaking in the middle of paragraphs. Factoids are inserted haphazardly, in the driest, most text-book like manner, and always break the flow of the narrative. I would often find myself rolling my eyes or shouting obscenities as I skipped entire pages of uninteresting, unrelated historical drivel that did nothing but clog up the story. "No!" I would shout ineffectually at the paper. "You can't do that!"

And while the actual memoir bits were often times interesting (again, minus the horrible attempts at simile, metaphor, and poesy), especially when the author discussed how Qatar has changed since the 1970s when she arrived there, I found myself searching for more. When Abui tells her, "Rachel, you have no brain!", does the author take this as a slight against her sex? What was the political climate like? The reader is told how things have changed, but does not get to see them, and certainly is left wondering at times about the emotions of the author during the events which she lays out.

I got midway through chapter 14 before I said, "I give up." I stood, went to the Asia donation box in the bookstore where I work, and dropped this novel in. I am very glad I did not pay money for this. Do not bother with this book.

The reviewer received a copy of this book for free though the GoodReads First Reads program.(less)

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Apr 22, 2012 JoAnn rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoirs-and-biographies, goodreads-first-reads-giveaways

I was delighted to receive this book for free through the goodreads first reads program. I would have not been exposed to this book otherwise. The book was very informative, interesting, and made you feel almost as if you had actually visited Doha in Qatar. It is particulary timely and enlightening with respect to the Muslim faith. In addition, alot of background history was included about the Arabic nation and culture, which I knew very little about, and I learned much. My only criticsm would b...more

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Apr 09, 2012 Karen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, middle-east-and-north-africa

The expanded title of My Life in Doha is an apt one for the style with which Rachel Hajar has chosen to write. The narrative threads its way non-chronologically through her life and career in Qatar, her earlier medical training in the US and selected childhood anecdotes. These are interspersed with interesting diversions into such topics as Arabian coffee, the veil and a comparison between the celebrational practises of the East and West. Poetic and other literary references are scattered throug...more The expanded title of My Life in Doha is an apt one for the style with which Rachel Hajar has chosen to write. The narrative threads its way non-chronologically through her life and career in Qatar, her earlier medical training in the US and selected childhood anecdotes. These are interspersed with interesting diversions into such topics as Arabian coffee, the veil and a comparison between the celebrational practises of the East and West. Poetic and other literary references are scattered throughout the text. What we end up with is something that really is between dream and reality.

Born in the Philippines, Rachel Hajar left to undertake medical training in the United States. There she met and married a fellow doctor. After the completion of their training they left to return to her husband's native Qatar, where both continued practising. One of the strengths of the book was that it shows a positive view of a marriage between an Arab and a non-Arab, in a genre where the failure of such partnerships is a more common topic. Her relationship with her in-laws is shown in a predominantly positive light. One wonders how they really thought about her working in a culture where, as the author admits, such a situation was unusual. When her children were small, she was the only working mother in their circle. Her father-in-law’s nickname for Dr Hajar was “no brains” – presumably meant affectionately since the author does not seem to have been offended, when she might have been thought to have experienced qualms about it otherwise.

It would have been impossible without a supportive husband for Hajar to have lived the life she has led, and he is duly credited with helping her to adapt to a different way of life. Ultimately her adaptation seems to have been a success, and this is surely partly responsible for the overwhelmingly positive tone of the book.

Stylistically the book was sometimes repetitive, repeating points made only a few pages or paragraphs earlier, and it was an intriguing decision to put the “courtship” scenes towards the end of the book – I was beginning to wonder if we would ever find out how she met her husband - but overall I found this an enjoyable read. It certainly brightened a rainy Good Friday for me.

I received a copy of the book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
(less)

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Jan 21, 2011 Rachel Hajar rated it 5 of 5 stars · (Review from the author) · review of another edition Recommends it for: general audience

Shelves: memoir, memoir-biography, non-fiction, culture-traditions, books-i-wrote

My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality is a memoir of my life in the heart of Arab-Islamic culture in Doha, Qatar. I was born in the Philippines and brought up a Catholic Christian in a western-oriented society. I met my husband in the USA, during post-graduate medical training. My husband brought me to live in Qatar in 1978 after we finished our postgraduate medical training. At that time my knowledge of the customs and culture of Qatar and the Arab world in general was almost non-existent....more

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Feb 12, 2012 Estefania rated it 5 of 5 stars

So far I am half way reading this book, and I find it extremely interesting, on some parts it has made me laugh, some other has taught me lessons like for example, on way not to drink alcohol, I personally already don't, and when I read in the book one of their teachings in relation to alcohol, I like it now I am not shy anymore when people asks if I drink and I answer that I don't, to the contrary, I now proudly say that is my choice of living and I only drink when i feel like it and not becaus...more

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Apr 13, 2012 Alice rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: around-the-world-in-80-books, goodreads-recommendations, middle-east, non-fiction, travel

This book should really be subtitled: A love letter to my husband and kids. The author seems to really appreciate Qatar mainly because it's the home of her family. I really appreciated her descriptions of her first impressions of various aspects of life in Doha - and her vivid descriptions of the sights, sounds, and smells. But, I felt there was quite a lot missing. She gave many personal details, but didn't really give the big picture of what it felt like to transition from one life to another....more

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Mar 19, 2013 Lindsey Wintch rated it 3 of 5 stars

For some reason it took me forever to read this book. Maybe if I read it before we came I would have found it more interesting. Or, after we left, more nostalgic of our time here. At any rate, I learned much about the culture of Doha, which has not changed much in decades. The finding of 'liquid gold' aka: petroleum, has changed the face of Doha dramatically, but the culture is deeply rooted and I respect that. She is an intelligent woman and I liked how she embraced her new home and life in Doh...more

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Apr 09, 2013 Pixi rated it 1 of 5 stars

Unfortunately I couldnt get past the first 1-2 chapters due to the writers own style which i found far to repetitve and dull. Shame because I really wanted to get to hear her story as I was living in Doha myself at the time.
I will try again sometime to reread this.

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May 11, 2011 Korri added it

Shelves: auto-biography-memoir, first-reads

This book is a treasure. Dr. Rachel Hajar deftly weaves history, anthropology, etymology, literature and art into her narration, describing the social changes in Qatar as she experiences the changes of adapting to a new culture. References to Arab philosophers and poets, ancient Greek writers and medical technology are sprinkled throughout. Dr. Hajar covers topics ranging from dyes used in Persian rugs and signs to look for when purchasing fish to the misunderstanding of veiling in Western socie...more

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May 30, 2011 Jenny rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, non-fiction

This is a free book from the Goodreads First Reads giveaways.
This was a heartfelt and well-written memoir written by a female cardiologist about adapting to life in Qatar. The different chapters reflected different topics - wearing a veil, driving, prayers, etc. I learned a lot through this "window-view" about living in an Arab nation and the Muslim religion. (Editing preference- I would have liked some of her background information that was shared towards the end of the book to be given earlie...more

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Jun 23, 2012 Donna rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: middle-east

Not terribly well written. Jumps around a lot. Still well worth reading to gain insights into the local life.

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Jun 26, 2012 Shahrun rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I won my copy of this book through GoodReads First Reads Giveaways in exchange for an honest review, so here goes...

Everybody who can read, should read this book at least once. It is a fantastically written, well researched and honest contrast and comparison of life in the Islamic Arabic Gulf, to that of the Christian West. But it is also the memoirs of a remarkable woman, her love story and interesting life. I love the fact that the author has included the history and delved into the meanings o...more

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May 25, 2011 Lori Tatar rated it 2 of 5 stars

Told in the voice of a teacher to a student or a parent to a child, My Life in Doha: Between Dream and Reality, is interesting and presents informative perspectives. The book may be a great tool in helping those from separate cultures understand one another. This might be particularly useful for younger readers who need an introduction to Arab values, customs and points of view.

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Mar 23, 2011 Linda added it

Clicked wrong link-- this was suppsed to be "TO Read"

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Jul 17, 2012 Vincent Anton rated it 4 of 5 stars

The book was quite interesting; I really wanted to see how the author was going to describe her life in Qatar. It did not disappoint, there was so much to learn about that country and the book touched a few good topics in detail. The later chapters were not to involved in the country, but the human relationships that involved motherhood and working as a doctor.

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May 01, 2013 Libby marked it as to-read

Apr 13, 2013 Stacey Blackburn Ousley marked it as to-read

Shelves: middle-east-challenge

Mar 10, 2013 Lori rated it 3 of 5 stars

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